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IFC is this week!
Posted 8 years agoBeen a while since I put anything on my page, it seems. But there's really not much new to say, heh. This will be my third year going to IFC and I'm sure it'll be a good time again. If anyone bothers to read this and doesn't know, IFC is a fairly small con, though last year they broke 1000 attendance and it's been growing every year that I know of, so it's certainly not a dead con. I'll be there Thursday through Monday morning, staying in the con hotel. I should to see plenty of familiar faces there, and hopefully meet some cool new people.
Still alive! Also, Telegram. X3
Posted 10 years agoI'm MatthewLionrider on telegram, feel free to add me. ^w^
Anyways, time for a new journal. Not much to say other than I have Forza 6, an Xbox One, and a laptop full of steam games that kicks its butt (the mxm 3.0b version of the gtx 980M is a BEAST of a gpu). Along with my 3DS XL that combo has me set for gaming equipment for the next 3 years at least. So, looking for people to game with now, heh.
Other than that, definitely on a great upward turn. IFC was awesome and I made some great new friends there. I'll probably finish and post some more writing after I take care of an exam Thursday. And probably going to MFF. X3
Anyways, time for a new journal. Not much to say other than I have Forza 6, an Xbox One, and a laptop full of steam games that kicks its butt (the mxm 3.0b version of the gtx 980M is a BEAST of a gpu). Along with my 3DS XL that combo has me set for gaming equipment for the next 3 years at least. So, looking for people to game with now, heh.
Other than that, definitely on a great upward turn. IFC was awesome and I made some great new friends there. I'll probably finish and post some more writing after I take care of an exam Thursday. And probably going to MFF. X3
Depression and Godzilla
Posted 11 years agoDepression is your own personal Godzilla, rampaging through your mind and body.
Much like the most famous Kaiju, you can’t simply kill depression, it never truly dies.
You can learn to manipulate it, draw it away from places you really don’t want it, perhaps even convince it to return to the sea before it ravages more than a few blocks, but it will always come back.
And sometimes you’ll fail, and it will do all the damage it possibly can, break you down from inside until it grows weary and returns to the sea.
Fighting it head on is often a hellish prospect, because it will turn every thought you attack it with against you, or simply shrug them off like machine gun bullets pelting its scaly hide.
The best you can hope for is to control its size, reducing by extension the damage it causes, but it will never be smaller than you, it will never be truly vulnerable.
Hating it too much and loving it too much can both lead to suicide. Because no matter how much you hate it, anything powerful enough to destroy it will almost certainly take you with it, or at least most of you. Love it too much, and it can grow large enough to utterly destroy you, and it by extension.
Much like the most famous Kaiju, you can’t simply kill depression, it never truly dies.
You can learn to manipulate it, draw it away from places you really don’t want it, perhaps even convince it to return to the sea before it ravages more than a few blocks, but it will always come back.
And sometimes you’ll fail, and it will do all the damage it possibly can, break you down from inside until it grows weary and returns to the sea.
Fighting it head on is often a hellish prospect, because it will turn every thought you attack it with against you, or simply shrug them off like machine gun bullets pelting its scaly hide.
The best you can hope for is to control its size, reducing by extension the damage it causes, but it will never be smaller than you, it will never be truly vulnerable.
Hating it too much and loving it too much can both lead to suicide. Because no matter how much you hate it, anything powerful enough to destroy it will almost certainly take you with it, or at least most of you. Love it too much, and it can grow large enough to utterly destroy you, and it by extension.
I'm Writing Again!
Posted 11 years agoYep, finally getting into it again. Have a few projects on the backburner, and one in particular I'm crafting a first chapter out of. If you're curious, you're welcome to see it in progress here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....it?usp=sharing
Anyways, I hope everyone is having a good start to their fall. My September was...crazy, but I intend for October to go smoother, and hopefully better overall. X3
https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....it?usp=sharing
Anyways, I hope everyone is having a good start to their fall. My September was...crazy, but I intend for October to go smoother, and hopefully better overall. X3
Thoughts on late April
Posted 11 years agoWell, not exactly in a great position in my life, so I may be very much on and off this site, Skype, and F List as opposed to being around constantly as I have been for the last few months. Other than that warning of my potential impending temporary disappearance, there's not much to say. I hope everyone's have a good week, and I am working on a new story submission that'll kick off a series I'll hopefully stick with better. But I will get back to that first story; probably with some polishing of what's already floating around, first.
Goals for this winter and spring
Posted 12 years agoMy first goal is that I do of course plan to write more, and there is a side story to my main on in the works. Might overhaul some parts of my first story, refining it and seeing what I can do to make it better.
Of course, one thing that's become clear is that the things I was feeling last April are quite ready to settle into fuck up my life outside of writing again, so my second goal will be rooting out that, and trying to that whole dark, roiling mess with much better feelings and thoughts. A few people I've met on skype will no doubt make this a hell of a lot easier.^^
And my third goal would have to be trying to find out more about furry groups are in my area, and when they're having meets and such and trying to get into that.
Not really much else for now, so this kitty is off to bed X3
Of course, one thing that's become clear is that the things I was feeling last April are quite ready to settle into fuck up my life outside of writing again, so my second goal will be rooting out that, and trying to that whole dark, roiling mess with much better feelings and thoughts. A few people I've met on skype will no doubt make this a hell of a lot easier.^^
And my third goal would have to be trying to find out more about furry groups are in my area, and when they're having meets and such and trying to get into that.
Not really much else for now, so this kitty is off to bed X3
Happy New Years!
Posted 12 years agoWell, now that I've finally put a new journal up; I have to admit that I'm not sure what to put on it right now. X3
Oh well, I do plan on getting more active again at some point here, but for the rest of this week I'm gonna really relax. My house was nuts during Christmas. What else would it be with five siblings, 4 of them married, 2 with children (Oldest couple has a 6 year daughter, third oldest couple has a 1 year daughter and a 2 year old son). Naturally, the ones with kids don't live in the area, so they were guests in my house. Perhaps a more accurately my parents' house, but while I'm in college I still call it home. Anyways, it was crazy, and I need to relax now that it's nice and quiet around here again. I hope everyone has a good year, and that I get back into writing sometime along the line here.
Oh well, I do plan on getting more active again at some point here, but for the rest of this week I'm gonna really relax. My house was nuts during Christmas. What else would it be with five siblings, 4 of them married, 2 with children (Oldest couple has a 6 year daughter, third oldest couple has a 1 year daughter and a 2 year old son). Naturally, the ones with kids don't live in the area, so they were guests in my house. Perhaps a more accurately my parents' house, but while I'm in college I still call it home. Anyways, it was crazy, and I need to relax now that it's nice and quiet around here again. I hope everyone has a good year, and that I get back into writing sometime along the line here.
My Birthday
Posted 12 years agoI turned 22 roughly 22 minutes ago!
So I had to get two fillings this morning
Posted 12 years agoI wonder how long it will be impossible to communicate verbally. XD The very back tooth on each side of the bottom of my jaw has a silver filling now. And they did so well numbing me that my fear that the drill would find a wide awake nerve turned out to be irrational. It was still unnerving to feel the drill going at it through my jaw @~@ Oh well; it's over now at least. Yay for the weekend! Hopefully I'll be normal by lunch time, but so far that seems unlikely.
Random Things From FA Part 6
Posted 12 years agoThat's right: a new list for the first time in over a month. Today's number one is a guy offering to color for really cheap. His family needs the money right now. Look at his journal for details and please help if you can.
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4761146/
2. https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4761233/ (she needs money for a some things now, so please go check out her journal and help if you can)
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4761146/
2. https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4761233/ (she needs money for a some things now, so please go check out her journal and help if you can)
First Journal in a Month!
Posted 12 years agoYep, my activity around here has plummeted again. But I'm still here, just getting to know and rp with lots of awesome people on skype lately. It's a bit hard to do both skype and FA at once sometimes. Will try to pick up my activity around here, and there will be more stories! I just need to find time to focus on them. My summer course ends soon, so it should be easier to find time to get going on those shortly here.
Tennessee fur in need of a place to go
Posted 12 years ago
TheUnknownWolf needs a place to stay while he figures things out. He lives in Covington, Tennessee and he's leaving his parent's house as soon he gets a really good chance. He's not broke and has a truck, so he can find a hotel to start with and has a means to get around, but he still needs somewhere to go really soon here for the immediate future. Any and all input would be appreciated; please give what help you can in locating somewhere he can stay, and spread the word if you wish.Edit: to clarify, I am doing this with his permission. So please don't just ignore this because he isn't asking himself.
Update: As of the evening of 5/25/13 he has his laptop back, but his mom still has his bank card and some other things he can't run without; so he's stuck for now. But he still needs somewhere to go when he gets a good chance to run.
Random Things From FA Part 5
Posted 12 years agoHappy Mother's Day everyone. Decided to do a list while I watch Ice Age 2 with my younger sister. There's also an artist in an unexpected bind doing a stream commission sale, so go see the journal by number 1!
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4626208/
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4628322/ (a little help needed getting a kitten ready for adoption)
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4628113/ (a good youtube video involving human error)
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4628245/ (topics for writing wanted)
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4626208/
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4628322/ (a little help needed getting a kitten ready for adoption)
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4628113/ (a good youtube video involving human error)
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4628245/ (topics for writing wanted)
Random Things From FA Part 4
Posted 12 years agoThey return! Will try to do this ever 3 days or something, but I make no promises; other than hopefully at least one day a week.
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4619671/ (This guy's doing emergency commissions, go help a lion out)
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4619640/ (knowledge of how to make flash games wanted)
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10564121/ (amusing cute piece by siverfox5213)
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10563486/ (fun experiment with new dubstep packs)
5. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10562068/ (another delightful piece of music)
6. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10564583/ (funny comic by bgn)
7. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4620610/ (donations needed to help bring darkzel's remains and belongings home and cover the ceremony; see the journal for details)
8. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4620936/ (some adorable videos)
9. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10566525/ (koala with jetpack)
10. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10566261/ (intriguing, but amusing too)
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4619671/ (This guy's doing emergency commissions, go help a lion out)
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4619640/ (knowledge of how to make flash games wanted)
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10564121/ (amusing cute piece by siverfox5213)
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10563486/ (fun experiment with new dubstep packs)
5. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10562068/ (another delightful piece of music)
6. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10564583/ (funny comic by bgn)
7. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4620610/ (donations needed to help bring darkzel's remains and belongings home and cover the ceremony; see the journal for details)
8. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4620936/ (some adorable videos)
9. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10566525/ (koala with jetpack)
10. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10566261/ (intriguing, but amusing too)
Random Things from FA, Part 4
Posted 12 years agoThis is all random, funny, cute, interesting, awesome, and urgent stuff from 5/7/13 on FA.
Wasn't sure I'd do a list for this particular day, but a new buddy on skype is in need, so the first one is a link to his journal for more details. He's opening for commissions for the first time to deal with his emergency; so anyone who can give advice on commission prices and stuff please stop by.
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4608472/ (only icon spots left; good job people and furries)
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4608848/ (interesting article)
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10539160/ (go see a lovely painting of Loaf the cat)
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4609292/ (entertaining commercial)
5. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10543476/ (have you ever seen a snow leopard baker?)
6. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4609635/ (RIP Ray Harryhausen)
7. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4609877/ (what a week's worth of groceries looks like in various countries)
8. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4610359/ (price comparisons between the US and Norway; brought to you by Avaarana)
9. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4610443/ (keep up the support for Mitternacht; he's got medical bills coming)
10. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4608476/ (did you know how many journals he's done?)
11. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4611113/ (new site for Close Encounters is up)
Wasn't sure I'd do a list for this particular day, but a new buddy on skype is in need, so the first one is a link to his journal for more details. He's opening for commissions for the first time to deal with his emergency; so anyone who can give advice on commission prices and stuff please stop by.
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4608472/ (only icon spots left; good job people and furries)
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4608848/ (interesting article)
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10539160/ (go see a lovely painting of Loaf the cat)
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4609292/ (entertaining commercial)
5. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10543476/ (have you ever seen a snow leopard baker?)
6. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4609635/ (RIP Ray Harryhausen)
7. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4609877/ (what a week's worth of groceries looks like in various countries)
8. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4610359/ (price comparisons between the US and Norway; brought to you by Avaarana)
9. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4610443/ (keep up the support for Mitternacht; he's got medical bills coming)
10. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4608476/ (did you know how many journals he's done?)
11. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4611113/ (new site for Close Encounters is up)
Random Things From FA Part 3
Posted 12 years agoThese are all from 12:00 am through 11:59 pm my time on 5/6/13
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4604340/ (hippo attack)
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10531111/ (interesting montage)
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4603703/ (artist needs help to move out of a bad situation pronto)
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4605013/ (artist needs to get home ASAP)
5. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4605238/ (input for book on character design wanted)
6. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4605353/ (Very touching video)
7. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4605247/ (free android game)
8. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10533740/ (red square!)
9. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4606047/ (great news video)
10. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4605863/ (needs a little help; paypal is being very uncool)
11. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10533900/ (he does more than nice art)
12. May darkzel rest in peace.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4606152/ (tedain's journal)
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4606427/ (donryu's journal)
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4606779/ (Ainoko's journal; please read the poem)
I was split on whether I should continue today's list. But now I realize that there is more to see today; so the list goes on.
13. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10534651/ (more than a birthday spanking)
14. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10534835/ (a less naughty birthday pic, from a recent addition to FA)
15. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4606418/ (interesting question)
16. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10535171/ (something gorgeous to temper this list)
17. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10533669/ (a lovely piece, and poem)
18. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4607308/ (there's a guy in a bit of a bind; read the journal for more details)
19. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10538000/ (fishy!)
20. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10536939/ (Iron Man, but even cooler)
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4604340/ (hippo attack)
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10531111/ (interesting montage)
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4603703/ (artist needs help to move out of a bad situation pronto)
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4605013/ (artist needs to get home ASAP)
5. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4605238/ (input for book on character design wanted)
6. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4605353/ (Very touching video)
7. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4605247/ (free android game)
8. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10533740/ (red square!)
9. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4606047/ (great news video)
10. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4605863/ (needs a little help; paypal is being very uncool)
11. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10533900/ (he does more than nice art)
12. May darkzel rest in peace.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4606152/ (tedain's journal)
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4606427/ (donryu's journal)
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4606779/ (Ainoko's journal; please read the poem)
I was split on whether I should continue today's list. But now I realize that there is more to see today; so the list goes on.
13. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10534651/ (more than a birthday spanking)
14. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10534835/ (a less naughty birthday pic, from a recent addition to FA)
15. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4606418/ (interesting question)
16. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10535171/ (something gorgeous to temper this list)
17. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10533669/ (a lovely piece, and poem)
18. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4607308/ (there's a guy in a bit of a bind; read the journal for more details)
19. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10538000/ (fishy!)
20. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10536939/ (Iron Man, but even cooler)
Random Things From FA Part 2
Posted 12 years agoAll of these things were posted after 8:00 AM my time on 5/5/13. If the one of these things is yours and you'd rather it wasn't on this list, leave a comment or note me or something and I will remove it.
Question for anyone who looks at this: I look at FA quite a bit sometimes, and it seemed like a good idea to list the most interesting and/or funny things I find. But do you consider this possibly rude, or worse?
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4601792/ (lots of puns here)
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4601634/ (fun song from youtube)
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4602107/ (Malaysia's elections went badly)
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4602126/ (Because Splinter is awesome indeed)
5. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4601617/ (creepy landlord sighted)
6. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10525297/ (Falco and Fox share a bed)
7. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10525235/ (some lovely orchestral music)
8. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4602337/ (LeoNoy was tagged)
9. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10525528/ (beware of cute macros snoozing too close to cities; that nose is devastating!)
10. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10526533/ (thoughtful short comic)
11. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10526454/ (amazing work, and I've never seen one of a lion listening to music in bed)
12. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10526450/ (amazing work containing a "Dragonwolf with a dash of Leopard")
13. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10526780/ (there are thieving pikachus apparently)
14. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4602746/ (a zoo is about to descend on Dipper's apartment)
15. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4602129/ (a furry book review, definitely interesting)
16. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10527129/ (cool voice work stuff; also comics I think I've heard about, but never looked at)
17. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10526927/ (very nice, in an NSFW way)
18. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10527265/ (it's a pretty castle!)
19. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10527748/ (a fox on a hover board)
20. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10527592/ (darklord013's first submission)
And that's today's list; though I may put some special mentions in comments. Have a good day!
Question for anyone who looks at this: I look at FA quite a bit sometimes, and it seemed like a good idea to list the most interesting and/or funny things I find. But do you consider this possibly rude, or worse?
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4601792/ (lots of puns here)
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4601634/ (fun song from youtube)
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4602107/ (Malaysia's elections went badly)
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4602126/ (Because Splinter is awesome indeed)
5. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4601617/ (creepy landlord sighted)
6. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10525297/ (Falco and Fox share a bed)
7. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10525235/ (some lovely orchestral music)
8. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4602337/ (LeoNoy was tagged)
9. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10525528/ (beware of cute macros snoozing too close to cities; that nose is devastating!)
10. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10526533/ (thoughtful short comic)
11. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10526454/ (amazing work, and I've never seen one of a lion listening to music in bed)
12. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10526450/ (amazing work containing a "Dragonwolf with a dash of Leopard")
13. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10526780/ (there are thieving pikachus apparently)
14. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4602746/ (a zoo is about to descend on Dipper's apartment)
15. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4602129/ (a furry book review, definitely interesting)
16. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10527129/ (cool voice work stuff; also comics I think I've heard about, but never looked at)
17. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10526927/ (very nice, in an NSFW way)
18. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10527265/ (it's a pretty castle!)
19. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10527748/ (a fox on a hover board)
20. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10527592/ (darklord013's first submission)
And that's today's list; though I may put some special mentions in comments. Have a good day!
Random Things from FA
Posted 12 years agoI have decided to make a list of interesting/awesome/random/cute things I find on FA for given nights. Stuff from beyond FA technically counts, but only if linked in a submission or journal. Will probably always contain links to NSFW material. Here is the list for 5/4/13 through the early morning of 5/5/13.
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4600366/
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10520618/
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4600528/
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10519414/
5. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10519124/
6. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10520618/ again (for link in comments)
7. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10522477/
8. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10522523/
9. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4599629/
10. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10518504/ (link goes to an interesting piece of music)
11. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4600783/
12. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4599678/
13. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10519168/
1. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4600366/
2. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10520618/
3. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4600528/
4. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10519414/
5. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10519124/
6. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10520618/ again (for link in comments)
7. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10522477/
8. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10522523/
9. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4599629/
10. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10518504/ (link goes to an interesting piece of music)
11. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4600783/
12. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4599678/
13. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10519168/
Research
Posted 12 years agoThank you wikipedia for this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheetah
It had everything I needed to get an idea of what Walt should look like, what noises he can make, that his claws are only semi-retractable, and I've made him a king cheetah after looking at the picture and description of that mutation. Didn't really give me any ideas of possible eye colors, but that's it as far as what I couldn't get from it.
It had everything I needed to get an idea of what Walt should look like, what noises he can make, that his claws are only semi-retractable, and I've made him a king cheetah after looking at the picture and description of that mutation. Didn't really give me any ideas of possible eye colors, but that's it as far as what I couldn't get from it.
Writing kind of hurts
Posted 12 years agoI think I've realized why I want to write so much instead of getting stuff done. I've played the clarinet for over 8 years now, and through it I can express myself pretty well. I haven't played much lately, though, and I've got a lot of stress and bottled up emotions.
I'm new to writing, so I can't make use of all that stuff as fluently, or as fast as on my clarinet, but I want to so much. You might say I'm pulling more ink out of the well than I can use at one time, and it hurts even as I enjoy writing what I can. Kind of crazy, but there it is.
I'm new to writing, so I can't make use of all that stuff as fluently, or as fast as on my clarinet, but I want to so much. You might say I'm pulling more ink out of the well than I can use at one time, and it hurts even as I enjoy writing what I can. Kind of crazy, but there it is.
Thoughts on non-specific inspiration for creators
Posted 12 years agoSomeone's journal had lovely advice about finding a skill you think you want have and finding out if you really want it as you work on it, and then getting it. And this is how you gain self-respect, and thus become a better person. And I found this thanks to someone else's journal. I looked at these lovely things, and at both of them I asked the same question: "How am I supposed to know what I want to master?"
I am the kind of person who is flexible and technical. I play a constant game of contradictions in my mind. It makes decision making a special hell at times. At that second piece I went into a 15 minute crisis of: "Should I take this as a go to pursue drawing if I really want to? Should I drop the more immediately possible writing stuff and go get one of those notebooks on the window ledge and fill the empty pages with my first drawings in forever? What do I want?"
Then, in a moment of flaming clarity,"In Another Place" came to me and I thought: "To hell with that madness. I can dabble in becoming a mediocre artist when I'm not supposed to be getting my life back on track. Besides, I have something like a series of books or a cartoon or anime in my head. It would take dozens of pictures or comic pages to describe what I have in 10000 words. I'm fairly sure I can have a 1000 word description that more than amply evokes the average amazing picture in 2 hours. It takes them multiples of those to make that one picture." Power to you artists, but I think I'm sticking with the writing for now.
Helps that with writing it is simple to communicate many things. My 5 year old level drawings couldn't hope to convey the death of a significant other, or how I imagine it would make someone feel anyways, effectively. It would take hours even if I was really an artist to convey this. I can spend that time working on making behavior, thoughts, and other dialogue evoke the first step in grieving: denial. It is 5:01 on April 27, 2013 where I live, so I'm going to bed now, and a finished and polished "In Another Place" will be up later today.
I am the kind of person who is flexible and technical. I play a constant game of contradictions in my mind. It makes decision making a special hell at times. At that second piece I went into a 15 minute crisis of: "Should I take this as a go to pursue drawing if I really want to? Should I drop the more immediately possible writing stuff and go get one of those notebooks on the window ledge and fill the empty pages with my first drawings in forever? What do I want?"
Then, in a moment of flaming clarity,"In Another Place" came to me and I thought: "To hell with that madness. I can dabble in becoming a mediocre artist when I'm not supposed to be getting my life back on track. Besides, I have something like a series of books or a cartoon or anime in my head. It would take dozens of pictures or comic pages to describe what I have in 10000 words. I'm fairly sure I can have a 1000 word description that more than amply evokes the average amazing picture in 2 hours. It takes them multiples of those to make that one picture." Power to you artists, but I think I'm sticking with the writing for now.
Helps that with writing it is simple to communicate many things. My 5 year old level drawings couldn't hope to convey the death of a significant other, or how I imagine it would make someone feel anyways, effectively. It would take hours even if I was really an artist to convey this. I can spend that time working on making behavior, thoughts, and other dialogue evoke the first step in grieving: denial. It is 5:01 on April 27, 2013 where I live, so I'm going to bed now, and a finished and polished "In Another Place" will be up later today.
Making connections
Posted 12 years agoI've been a bit of a loner for a quite a while now, and I'm getting tired of it. Made a skype of the same name as this FA account. Does anyone have any getting started tips for furries looking to make new friends and just chat? Preferably via IM type stuff for now. Never done role playing, but wouldn't mind looking at a starter guide to that too, if it exists.
It is coming.
Posted 12 years agoTo get myself further excited to be getting back to naughty territory, may I present this:
"Grace! It is time."
"Ohh yes! What took you so long honey?"
"I'm going for a little realism here. Having them take this leap in the first or second chapter would have been to descend completely into naughty madness. I want to keep this going."
"Uh huh. Well get it done then honey!"
"Shortly. First, you need to get into the fourth chapter."
"I was starting to wonder about that. I want to see feral Alex, not hear about it."
"Then I shall begin."
In summary: the next chapter gets back to naughty, but first I need to put Grace in the fourth one. It was late, and I totally forgot about her as I tried to imagine myself in Matt's position.
"Grace! It is time."
"Ohh yes! What took you so long honey?"
"I'm going for a little realism here. Having them take this leap in the first or second chapter would have been to descend completely into naughty madness. I want to keep this going."
"Uh huh. Well get it done then honey!"
"Shortly. First, you need to get into the fourth chapter."
"I was starting to wonder about that. I want to see feral Alex, not hear about it."
"Then I shall begin."
In summary: the next chapter gets back to naughty, but first I need to put Grace in the fourth one. It was late, and I totally forgot about her as I tried to imagine myself in Matt's position.
What do you picture while listening to this?
Posted 12 years agoDown a Country Lane:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVahQeN3Xic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etxRJ6CuvAI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQVxtThumWE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEc_HnZe3IM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pER79bxRBBA
Any of these will sort of do. Most of the results I found were either too fast or of very poor quality thanks to the person holding the camera. Originally for piano, but I prefer the band arrangement. My university's symphonic band is doing this piece for a concert in a few weeks, and friggin' love it. After the band director asked the same thing to get us to think more about how we performed; I've been wondering what other people really do picture while listening to this.
I picture childhood memories. Numerous Ohio and Indiana country scenes (large farm fields that stretching on forever to a thick patch of woods, dark and mysterious, and a large view of the sky). While I'm playing sometimes visualize the dynamics and movement in hard to describe ways. I find myself getting very calm while playing this piece, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Making this piece sound effortlessly gorgeous is pretty intense, but that's how most slow pieces are: expressing as much as possible while keeping precise control of intonation and tone. Making sure all the notes come out evenly (no jumps in volume with large jumps in notes) and full. But I'm getting off track here. What do you picture?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVahQeN3Xic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etxRJ6CuvAI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQVxtThumWE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEc_HnZe3IM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pER79bxRBBA
Any of these will sort of do. Most of the results I found were either too fast or of very poor quality thanks to the person holding the camera. Originally for piano, but I prefer the band arrangement. My university's symphonic band is doing this piece for a concert in a few weeks, and friggin' love it. After the band director asked the same thing to get us to think more about how we performed; I've been wondering what other people really do picture while listening to this.
I picture childhood memories. Numerous Ohio and Indiana country scenes (large farm fields that stretching on forever to a thick patch of woods, dark and mysterious, and a large view of the sky). While I'm playing sometimes visualize the dynamics and movement in hard to describe ways. I find myself getting very calm while playing this piece, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Making this piece sound effortlessly gorgeous is pretty intense, but that's how most slow pieces are: expressing as much as possible while keeping precise control of intonation and tone. Making sure all the notes come out evenly (no jumps in volume with large jumps in notes) and full. But I'm getting off track here. What do you picture?
Metaphors for How I Feel Right Now
Posted 12 years agoPicture a lake held behind a very solid dam with no apparent outlet hidden away in the mountains. Picture a portion of that dam crumbling, finally providing a hole for the water to exit. Except it isn't water, and whatever it is is sentient. It senses the outlet. Knows it has a chance to come out. It starts burning, fighting to push through the tiny hole it has to escape through. The damn is sentient too, and feels as though its vomiting what it's been holding in for years, I feels good to release it, but the liquid burns all the same on the way out. From what I gather, my chest is burning, and this is the nervous system's way of saying the heart is burning (not the pump in this instance obviously, the other one). That leak is writing, but somehow my throat is whats burning as if I really were vomiting. The lake is a pocket of something that wants out of the mountains (heart), and it's tucked away because I didn't know it was in there. And it won't stop pressing to get out. My heart is racing, appetite reduced, this journal probably sounds like madness, and I need to get back to the only thing that seems to soothe this madness: writing. Is this what a full on addiction feels like? Or is this years of emotions tucked away without an outlet all trying to come out at once now that one's there?
