Looking for commissions?  abigaille


I'm doing my best to get as open and talkative as I used to be. I wasn't even when I was younger, though to be honest making friends and being friendly and open is a HELL of a lot easier when you're a kid. But I'm doing better.

Babysitting my baby cousin has helped loads. The other day while babysitting she insisted I eat eggies with her, and when I ate mine, actually watched my Mom to make sure she made more eggs before sitting back down to eat. ^//^ That kid.. I love her so much and I'm so thankful we have her. I still have days where I just... I just don't want to deal with people. I mean I DO, but at the same time I just... don't. It's weird and hard to explain. Still, the baby helps. ^w^

Trying out Comic Workshop 2 on 3DS and I love it. Plus I've made a bunch of resin pieces that, once completely cured, I'm gonna give some polymer clay settings. Never tried resin before, but I like it. ^^ Pen ink, eyeshadow, and mica powders work rather well to color it. ^^ I love when I get creative. The comic thing though... might get back on Tumblr and make a page. Always did like ask blogs.

Oh! On a side note, if I'm not talkative here or on Skype, it's because we've been in triple digits where I live. I.E. We've been over 100° F (sometime felt like it was over 110° F). I'm shit in heat, so I usually just try to get cool and I usually end up wanting to sleep. So yeah, sorry for that!

I noramlly don't do these, but she is a friend of mine. Go check out  abigaille if you want some awesome artwork. She does chibis and ref sheets and she really does have awesome work. She really needs some help so if you see this and are looking for an artist to get some art from, go check her out.

 abigaille abigaille abigaille

On Monday I ended up having like a third of my bottled iced tea spill in my bag, which had my 3DS XL inside. Needless to say it got a bit messed up. Thankfully only the controls are wacked out, which I think I may have figured out. My volume control is really stiff now.

But what I AM happy about is after finding a few tutorials... I managed to open up the system, clean what I thought was messed up at the time (circle pad + d pad), put it back together, and while I didn't fix the issue yet I did manage to put it back together so it turned on and I hadn't lost any system data.

I'm really fucking shocked but most of all I'm fucking proud as hell! I didn't lose my mind and I fucking did it! I've never taken anything electronic apart before. Hopefully I can fix it but if not I may send it off to my father (he works with computers, so he might know) or see if he'll help me send it in to get it fixed.

My mood has dipped ever so slightly. Well, not slightly but eh. That ever so glorious thing women have called Periods is rounding the bend. Plus I've just been busy. I'm trying to work on some things and finish up others, and with it getting REALLY hot where I live (we went from like the 70s and 80s °F to in the kid to late 90s without warning) I want to do very little.

I am NOT a heat person. I get sick when it gets too hot and all I want to do is lounge until it gets cool, which isn't usually until late at night so during Summer I'm usually online late at night. It's just not fun. So yeah. Sorry for being quiet.



On a weird side note... despite the fact I always had a rule that shippings would stay to anime or manga characters... I Kinda like Spideypool (SpidermanXDeadpool). Well... that and Captain America and Iron Man seem to be cute together... I'm fucking weird.

I admit, today wasn't bad. My baby cousin got to visit and damn if she isn't demanding. I got to hear her go "Stessie!" at me because I didn't get to the door quickly enough. I also got to play chase as she ran around a tree and I tried to "catch" her. ^w^ I love it.

However, between my PMS rounding the fucking corner and stupid shit, I'm sitting here with a goddamn notebook wanting to draw and yet I lost the will to. I... I just fucking hats stupid. Stupid people, stupid shit.... it weighs on my fucking mind and makes it hard to focus. Plus, trying to actually write it in my journal in the hopes it'll get some of it out doesn't always work (or happen as I try to get past the BS).

Gods I need a hug. I wish I knew more people as well. It'd be nice to be able to get together with people now and then, or at least have someone to vent to without the fear I'm just adding my shit onto their problems.

It's 1:30AM and I'm sitting here ranting. ... I'm gonna go back to watching Yogscast videos. Well, Hannah and Kim play Haunted. Haven't watched many of their Fright Night videos.

On the second note, I'm not too unhappy with how the last few pics have turned out (minus the chibi one). I actually drew three males that didn't look half bad!

But on that note, I'm thinking of making a "character account". By that, I mean it would be based on a fictional company I have for my stories that deals with bondage and adult stuff. That would give me a chance to post all of that on its own account for all to see. All comments/journals/ect. would be replied to IC by any of my characters involved, which would help me get back into using them a bit more. But I'm not sure if it'd be worth it. I'd end up on this one more I think, but I don't know... I'd like to do it to be honest.

Also need to get some stuff for polymer clay, specifically a glaze that works. Apparently clear nail polish and mod podge are bad... took a pin on Pinterest dor me to find that out. I mean, God forbid peole mention what glaze they use in a tutorial or at least show it. >:P Oh well.

Not only did I get to take my little cousin to get her very first library card, but I found out she's a demon (said card had 666 on it ^^; ), but I got complemented at WalMart by a woman who saw my ankh necklace and we ended up talking a bit, did a good deed, and ended up hitting my cousin-in-law with a tennis ball.

Not on purpose of course, but it seems when people are involved I either can't hit them if I try to and can't miss them if I don't want to hit them. ^^; All of that yard and I smacked him with it.

Still, I laughed so hard I gave myself a headache. Plus I got cuddle time from two of my cats! ^w^

All in all, a good day. I'm gonna go to sleep now and have good dreams. Night!

I made a post a while back on on their Bondage section. If you wanna see it you can view it here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5898175/

I admit sometimes I get inactive during an rp depending on what's going on, and I have issues with my mood dipping (sometimes it isn't bad and sometimes it is), but I really would like to meet someone I can rp bondage stuff with and it be mainly bondage. I miss doing that. ^^

I'm debating if trying to open commissions would be a good idea. I still would like to do more art trades and shit as well, but I'm not as good at getting my art and writing out there for more people to see. Not sure how to really. ^^; But I would like to do writing commissions I think, maybe some art ones as well, and the art ones wouldn't cost a whole lot. But I would like to try.

Also debating a secondary account as well. Not sure though...

I can't personally do anything to help, but if anyone reads this go read this journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6375953/

They need serious help and need someplace safe to go, away from their current situation. If there is anyone who can help, if even a little, let them know.

Merry Christmas/Happy Yule/Happy Holidays everyone! Hope everyone is doing well and having a good time. I wish everyone who reads this and everyone who doesn't a happy new year filled with love, happiness, and anything else you need in your lives.

See you in 2015!

On a good note, tonight was the first night I got to make a bottle of formula for my baby cousin. Not too hard really. Though I love how when she finished it she held it up and looked at me with this "Well? You gonna get me more or what Stecie?" look. (That's how she says Stephie ^^)

As for the rant part, while I am SOOOO grateful for everything good that has happened this year, I'm not happy about getting panic attacks. I was literally up at 6AM crying my eyes out because I was home alone and I panicked. I knew I would be, Mom was babysitting that morning, but I still freaked and couldn't stop it. Told my Dad about it and he cracked a joke. Though... to be fair he really doesn't know how to deal with shit like that.

I know I need to find my voice, I am trying. I need to open up and be honest with people about shit but I'm afraid of people being upset (they say they won't but they always do). Add that to the fact I still have self esteem issues and it makes me feel like I should stop trying. My writing is incredible slow and I hate that, but I haven't been able to fix it. My art is fine I suppose, but it still looks lacking in something I don't know how to fix. Sculpting has been going well though so that's nice.

Most of my journals are rants or something like that I know, but I don't have any other options. I don't have people I can rant to as they have their own issues and I feel bad in doing so or they just don't seem like they would listen. ... I had something else to say but I don't remember what it was.

Still... above all else I'm grateful for what I have, for the family members that care about me (my aunt and cousins went to Disneyland and bought me a Jack Skellington tote bag and Mom a Nightmare before Christmas holiday t-shirt ^^), and everything good in my life. I am lucky to have what I have and to have who I have in my life, and I'll never take that for granted.

Good lord... I'm not even joking on that, and it's been strong too. But hey, it happens. ^w^

But there really are days where I feel like everything I do amounts to fuck all. Again, probably just the PMS talking, but I needed to get that out.

Halloween was odd. Rained most of the time, couldn't wear my mask as it made me have a panic attack, and we got a total of four trick-or-treaters. Had a raging migraine the following day that started at 6am and didn't really break till about 10pm. I think I know what caused it. Now I feel emotionally shitty.

Now I've also basically read everything Jim Butcher has written for the Dresden Files minus two comics, but since those are based off his first two books I'm not too worried about reading them. Still sucks as I have nothing else to read...

Well, it isn't QUITE Halloween here just yet, but still. Hope everyone has or has had a wonderfully scary, fun, and most importantly a safe night and you enjoyed the holiday.

Me? I'm still doing my costume. ^^; 11pm on the 30th and I'm STILL putting shit together. I made my own mask with a bust I made out of air dry clay which I did with paper mache (not sure how to spell it) that needs removed from the bust and painted, plus I still have some clothing parts to do, but hey. First time in years I cared to do so to be fair, so I'm all good. ^^

I'll post some pics of the clay bust and mask once both are finished (along with a few WIP shots that I'm REALLY fucking proud of). Anubis would be damn proud! *Smiles as if she didn't know something already*

For anyone who does chainmaille/chainmail jewelry or simply works with Darice aluminum wire, has anyone noticed a weird smell when working with it? It happens if you keep it in an enclosed box or if I wind the wire around a mandrel. Hell, all I have to do is hold it really hard in my fingers and it tends to make this weird smell. But I don't know how to describe the smell, except that it smells foul. Does anyone know what this smell is and if I can get rid of it? I recently bought some Hobby Lobby brand wire (since they carry different wire than my local Joann's and the Michael's nearby has a VERY small selection) and tried making a few coils to test it out, and there was no smell. Plus said wire comes in a plastic bag, whereas Darice is not, so it has to be something with their wire.

It's happened with every color I could get, though I think plain silver and gold might not do it. Purple, red, black, blue... basically whatever I could get color-wise ended up with the weird smell. Leaving it outside for a few days usually helps, but even stuff I had out for a long period will smell after working with it.

Anyone got an idea?

Since my lovely muse (who desperately needs to be drawn again soon) has got me back in a bondage kick, and since I've finally gotten brave enough to post that kinda stuff here, I have a question:

Anything you think I should do?

If you happen across this journal then feel free to suggest something. I'm kinda feeling down and getting to draw or write really does help.

Something I wish my mind understood how to do. It reminds me of those who have left me, things people have said to me, and events in my life... most of which are negative.

Don't get me wrong, there are a good deal of things in my life that are awesome and make me happy. Then there are moments where I just get angry.

... Eh, just ranting.

It wasn't too bad. Didn't get to hear from a few people as I've been busy most of the day. Started the day off with a Jack Skellington pillow and snacks, strawberry short cake, and some other junk food (since we don't do a lot for Thanksgiving each year, our birthdays are usually when we pig out ^^; ), along with working with Polymer clay most of the day. Ended up making a bunch of shit, which hopefully I can get some good pics of them at some point. Talked with my Dad which was... eh, to say the least. I love him, but sometimes he's just such an ass... not gonna go into it but he was just annoying.

Regardless, I had a good day and it was nice. ^w^ So I'm actually doing very good right now.

Hope everyone else had a good day. ^w^

So how do I start it off? A fucking neck ache.

Still, I have Snuggler (a stray cat we've been taking care of due to him getting injured) trying to get right in my face so I can love on him. So it isn't such a bad start. Not sure what the day will hold, but we'll see how it goes.

On a small side note, I am working on a few ref sheets. Nothing huge, just enough to get my main cast (so to speak) solid references if they are ever needed. I also have an idea for a book (FINALLY! ^w^) and I kinda want to write up a more adult-based rp guide. Mostly due to being a little more comfortable letting my kink flag fly, so to speak. ^////^ Not entirely open, but with the right person or persons I'd show more of it. ^^

I fucking hate stupid people, I hate stupid shit... DOES ANYONR EVEN THINK BEFORE THEY SPEAK ANYMORE?! DON'T GENERALIZE PEOPLE! DON'T ACT STUPID!

Ugh... just... stupid stupid stupid. Stupid sucks, stupid is useless. I. Hate. STUPID!

Yeah, that's all I got. ... If you got suggestions for art or writing note me. Might get me to stop getting so angry over other people's massive stupidity and worthless thoughts, words, and actions.

Mostly Yugioh though... I can't believe I did this but would anyone want to read a Darkshipping fic (for those looking at this who have no idea what that is, look up Yami Yugi and Yami Bakura in a search engine or Pixiv or even Tumblr. It's those two as a couple or at least with some kind of sex or romance involved)? Specifically one involving bondage and (because I was looking at art here while writing it)... well, lots of dildos shaped like anthro canine dicks?

Good lord... seriously I wrote it but I'm not sure I can get myself to post it. I wrote something with a total of three blowjobs in it, two of which are two anthro canine dick dildos in neon green and translucent red! (As for why those colors... some people REALLY like brightly colored dicks and the place I got my tattoo at had these little human dick piercings and there was a translucent red one that I found oddly cute) I think I might rewrite part of it though if I do decide to post it here.

I'll probably also write something more bondage-centric soon, as in something without sex in it, because good lord somehow this site has DEFINITELY helped me get more comfortable about sex.

I really do. ^//^ I kinda have one thing in mind involving Yugioh (and considering the theme of it, I admit it has me nervous as it's SOOOO not something I'd do normally), and maybe something else, but I kinda want to write something... (And if my sis sees this, I already know what she'll suggest ^^)