but only if people want to watch

;W; my friend
 kirr made an amazing icon GO THROW MONEY AT HER

i dont have a job any more so the only thing i can do is sew and ixmas gifts...so i have to work on xmas gifts becasue i have no money to afford them,my last check is going off to pay my loan and then i have two more artists i have to pay <:C

i got fired today, -mutt is going totry and get me a job at ihop, this week sucks...i still have a huge loan to pay off ;a;

I WANNA PAINT 8D

postyour refs here! nd ill choose three by tommorrow night

today at work about 30 minutes before it was time to go home there was a series of about 10 gun shots at our windows at work. in the break room and our main room, only one person was hurt but not badly. the person who shot up our building was receently fired, i texted phere asap and he came to pick me up, i ran to his car and we waited for mom.


....it was horribly scary and just realized i could have lost my life today if i wasnt where i wassitting tonight <:c....

http://www.livestream.com/sagomeschannel?t=199903

maybe taking a painting request

for the past two years this one thing has always bugged me. This one little, big, thing. Her name was Tenebrea, she was my naked rat. and any time i look at rats or think about them i just think of her and how much my heart is broken over her. She died from worms i was unaware of...and i just remember the day it happened, i stayed up till 4 in the morning holding her in my chest and mumuring to her, she was horribly cold and i was doing everyting in my power to keep her warm, i wanted to stay home from school that day, on march the 22nd of 2009, but i couldnt afford to so i made a promise to be home as soon as i can and begged her to wait for my return so i could at least say good bye. What gets to me is that my mom, MY MOM, she HATES animals, she acutally MADE her a bed, she actually PICKED her up and put her in in it and when i came home she looked so peaceful, but she didnt hold out that long. I bit my tongue and just carried her into the living room and just said "shes gone" and went to burry her.

It didnt hit me hard until phere had called me and asked how she was doing, thats when everything fell onto me, all the pain and suffering she went through, everything i could have done to help and how bad of an owner i truley was for not recognizing her pain sooner. The whole night when i held her close to me she constanty clicked her teeth, saying she was happy, but...i still feel extreme guilt, i still cry when i think about her, i still feel its my fault shes gone, its all my fault. And i could hae saved her if i just knew what was wrong sooner....

i need the customers whose plushies i finished to note me that way i can send thier plushies on saturday, along with requested plushise as well

how do you escape it and make it leave you alone?

im highly negative and highly over protective, any time i see phere say something on FB i dont like i get uncomfortable and scared and always assume the worst, im scared he'll leave me when he jokes about other chicks or guys and then it makes me feel that im not good enough for him...idk im so paranoid right now <:c i dont even know what to do, i mean if its bad now...wont it be worse when he leaves?

http://www.livestream.com/sagomeschannel?t=425821


Workin on paitin and ponies :3

Ok so...you know how i like freaked a week or so ago, well the reason is that Phere's grandma is really sick ad he has to move away for a few months, and we dont know how long it will be, my hours might possibly be cut at work and the holidays are coming and my parents are expecting me to spend millions of dollars on them *rolls eyes*. As far as phere moving i have tried to be strong and push through but im not really a strong person. I get highly depressed easily and i cry alot, so thats ostly what ive been doing for a good week or so, im a little more collected for now with my thoughts. Im working on a plushie commission and once i get the fabric cut out ill go ahead and do a plushie stream, but other than that there is no motivation. Just forced labor on myself, i really need to get things done i really need to get these shipped. And i...have just been so caught up in my depression that time just zooms by, and all i do is go home and cry then wake up the next morning and go to work for 10 hours, then do this over and over again. *sighs* anyways let me get my ass to work so i can catch up on missed time.

just thought id say something for those who were wondering.

HNNNG IM SO EXCITED TO SEW X3333 when i get home ill start a live stream to finish up another ocmmission and hopefully another one 8D well if you guys wana watch, i wont do it if no one wants to watch *shrugs*

I've been depressed lately, i try to be strong and i try to motivate myself, im really unmotivated to do anything,sew,draw, anything...i might go on a hiatus, and it loosk like i will not reach my goal for having all my plusheis down by xmas, im not celebrating it ai have othing to worry about....nyways so....i guess

just to motivate myself to sew 8D

simple charas, noithing complicated SIMPLE

OH ANd feral only

OH and this is NOT first come first serve, i will pick the plushie

ok let me put what colors i can use:
Light orange
red
white
purple
yellow
pale blue
navy blue
pale gray
dark gray
lime green
cream
pink
light pink
Tan
brown
Dark *almost black8 brown

GOD WHY DO I KEEP UPDATING

i will do pokemon, ponies or animals, no anthros

http://www.livestream.com/sagomeschannel?t=676792 i fixed it!

i want you giys to watch me draw but it wont let me sho the screen :/ its working in procaster but not for the stream itself, any help?

when i live stream will you guys please watch me sew plushies together??! that would get me pumped and work super hard asap ;w; please guys?

i bought all my materiasl so im starting again tomorrow!

trying to get as many plllushies done as possible!

The reason being is that phere is going through a really tough time, alot of really bad things are happening and im trying to support him ,his mom is going away for a few months so im celebrating christmas early and doing a thanksgiving dinner with him, im trying to get alot of plushies donw but ive been so horribly depressed since two days ago and im trying to push past this for phere i only get about a month with him till he goes away for a little while...so im hoping to have at least some motivation....i might not even celebrate xmas at all....so who knows <:c i hope everyone will understand, i love doing plushie commissions and all but my baby is going through a hard time and i have to be here for him, so i will always place him before anything else, even before myself.

things are ok for now <:C i had a mojor anxiety attack, for now i dont wanna talk about it, itll bring it back on, but things are good for now.

everythings blurry, i cant breathe...my heart hurts, i cant see much...i feel light headed...why now....why at all

my mom lost my black miky RIGHT when i need it most :/ i acnt buy any till thursday, so my commissioners who have black on thiere charas are gonna have to deal with swirly minky: http://www.ebay.com/itm/NEW-MINKY-P.....item5ae37c7ddd

*irritated face*

i had 2 yards of it too, fuckin great mom BC

im selling my eevee plushie here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6766680

im thinkin of sellin her for 40$, this is including shipping, cause i wana buy pokemon black and white SO FUCKING BAD ;A;

OH if shes bought she'll be sent this thursday along with other plushies im shippin off :3

sorry my computer forced shut down

http://tinychat.com/sagomekitsune124