Please be safe and try to enjoy yourselves in whatever you do.

May you have peace and happiness for at least a few days this year.

Please stay safe as well

Oh,  mth001

You never were one to talk about your real life or things outside of babyfur but you always were there to be a wonderful and generous caretaker and artist. You should have been more open about yourself man. We loved you just like family did and we never got to say goodbye.

I only knew a tiny bit about the person behind the computer and everything pointed to us having alot in common. Yet I would have liked to meet you some day. See your face, hug you, maybe even cuddle or share some real face-to-face time with. Now thatll never happen.


Maybe in the next life we will meet because my friend you are certainly going to ascend. your name lives forever in the hundreds of free art pieces you have given your friends over the years. And the thousands of hours of work you put into the things you loved leaves you a great and powerful legacy.

Back in 2005 you were the first person to greet me into the whole babyfur thing and make me so comfortable and content as I drudged through the early culture. You have been there for some nice RPs for the longest of times and were always a friend. Me and a whole bunch of other people

We went through hell together during the dark days but things seemed to look up for the both of us. Alas what a shock for it to end this way.

At least you went with family, REAL flesh and blood family at the end. I just hope you were not in too much pain as you went.

Ill miss ya bro. Love you lots. Id send flowers or a card or a gift as a REAL flesh and blood friend would but i have no idea if thats possible. I CANT EVEN GO TO YOUR DAMN FUNERAL LIKE A DUTIFUL WARRIOR SHOULD BECAUSE OF ALL THE BULLSHIT GOING ON.

I'm so mad!

I lose more and more people every day now and this makes me wonder how much time do i have left.

Am I really going to be alone when I'm old now? I don't have very many people left....

Remember online is all i have aside from an aging family...

its been 10 days since I made a fateful choice to shoot myself in the foot with some really bad words that got me into some serious trouble. Those words can not be taken back nor do I expect forgiveness. What I can do is clarify apologize and move on with whatever I have left.

Ive already made one private apology to someone over this and clarified it with them

Ive been terrified of talking about this and even more terrified of using this site in fear of attacks because of my words. Its why I hid my page for 3 days and haven't mentioned anything up to this point. Things have calmed down a little now so I can make some comments on it. I have been blacklisted though by an unknown number of people and I accept my consequences.

I also Said I was going to leave. Once again, my friends have helped me through that and I'm staying put indefinitely.

Better late than never I guess...

- I shouldn't have jumped in like I did to that argument (I assumed it was an attack) and should of kept to my own journal about it because the whole position of the post was wrong. Some of the extreme cultural" comments about pokefurs were pretty crazy but I did mean them at the time. It wouldn't have been as bad of an issue had i kept them to my page. I'm sorry for jumping in like that and should have left it alone and let my brother-fur deal with it himself.

I have since seen a re-design of one of my characters as a "third" which is coming soon. I still intend to keep my Pokemon as my main regardless of my fate when it comes to commissions of him. I'm Too spiritually attached to him and have been since childhood.

Ive also since had to eat those words as I got gift art that pretty much annihilated my argument. So I'm sorry for stressing out my friends about it and my foolishness. I was emotionally overwhelmed and failed to see outside of the box.

- While I resolved it with the artist personally I will come out and say it here too. The "Artist Comparison" thing was a complete failure of words in a heated and stressful situation. I was dealing with 18 threads at that moment and I needed both tact and calmness, neither of what I was able to muster. So I apologize for my failure deeply. I did not mean to come off rude or insensitive and was attempting to strongly call out what I thought was attention seeking behavior. I was attempting to do this at the same time as directing an artist to judge themselves and not rely on other's comments in an already heated situation.

By Saturday night when I finally realized what happened I felt horrible at how bad I messed that one up. Really, really, horrible. Im usually much better at handling clutch communications like that and Im not sure why I messed it up so badly. I was already in hot water at the time and REALLY failed to calm things down. Even subsequent comments failed to clarify what I did wrong.

I will continue to try and improve. I must improve.

Again I'm sorry for my decisions and failures.

Its 75 with Humidex right now and I'm in shorts...

ITS THE MIDDLE OF NOVEMBER A WEEK FROM WHAT IN MANY YEARS IS THE FIRST MAJOR SNOWFALL.(though we had a small one back in late October).

I know we have something called "indian summer" in these parts....

BUT THIS IS INSANE.

I don't know what to think

Remember folks using a proxy/tool too bypass geo-fencing (DRM) has no "safe harbor" in Canada. You cant jailbreak and have no "right to repair" up here either. People break the law all the time though.

There is no "DCMA" in Canada and fair use is explicitly given(specific methods depending on the creative product) not implicitly(free for all in the us). Commentary is not "fair use" either. Technically using encrypted torrents is "espionage" too but that's another story

Hence using a proxy or VPN is ILLEGAL in my country to get around what I'm going to talk about. Even if people use it en masse they'll make VPNs a licensed product in Canada.

I want you to read this Wikipedia Article and bask in its absurdity. Its why the CBC is so hated and loathed and why no one under 30 watches it despite them forcing it down our faces. Half the country cant afford cable or even gets an Antenna signal anyways.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canad....._protectionism

Then read this for a primer. There is specific legislation but wiki reads easy. Every TV producer in Canada including cable specialty channels (and all the major ones are owned by 2 or 3 companies) are forced to play by these rules. If they don't they can essentially be fined, jailed and forced off the air. (I'd like to see this will be enforced online--without going china syndrome however).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_content
(I call it propaganda for a reason)



Then here it comes. Unfortunately its a news-wire story and right now as i write this only 2 carriers are displaying it. this one has no paywall but it reads the same. No legislation has been tabled yet so be sure to stay tuned when i tear it apart upon tabling.

https://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/cana.....PQN?li=AAggXBV



That's right folks.

The Canadian government wants to force Netflix and other streamers (the ones you can legally get) to shove more "Canadian content" down our throats and against our wills. They wanna subject streamers to "broadcasting regulations" which means blocking out up to 40% of anything not Canadian from Netflix--regardless of wither the user wants it or not.

They wanna "promote" force streamers to display Canadian content OVER what is popular and desirable. Most likely what is profitable too because Canadians fled to Netflix after canon ruined cable TV. Cancon and 'sim-subbing' pretty much ruined OTA where it can be found(and its foot print is shrinking) as people fled to cable and politics is killing it. Then people fled cable to Netflix because of convenience.

Now Neflix is being subject to propaganda rules as well.
This is regardless of a huge half-billion dollar investment by Netflix into "Cancon'(rules as described by the wiki article) in January.

The fact of the matter is.

Most cancon is crappy propaganda and people don't wanna watch that shit anymore PERIOD. Not when there is soo much better outside of the country that is available more then ever(legally too). Aside from maybe one out of every thousand productions (Corner Gas being a favorite among many internationally) most of it is horrible, out of date culturally, boring, and many times stupidly done to make quotas (not entertain at all) People deliberately avoid it in results and will find every way they can to bypass it if "promoted in algorithms" and as alternatives exist. People WILL break the law to get non-cancon and will quit spending money if they are forced to watch something they don't want. ESPECIALLY if they have to pay for it. You have to resort to "extreme" measures to stop this.

I don't see how under these rules aside from quotas (Netflix cant even access media development funding to fill them and has to take revenue from other sources/countries to pay for Cancon) Netflix and others can continue to survive providing content to Canadians. This is Netflix only though. You have so many other providers that are gonna be denied (Crunchyroll and Disney+ anyone?) access to the market that people are gonna break the law in mass to get their content fix.


Being on ODSP I cant afford the necessary internet connection for Netflix and other streaming (I get free shared cable internet among 4 people as a part of my lease. its 60mbps download unlimited usage but torrents and downloads are "DPI" throttled). I am unable to even have a credit card to pay for anything premium nor can i afford it at all. Hence, I don't stream media at all. I even quit downloading anime as i lost interest in it a long time ago.

Youtube however.... yeah... Good luck ever seeing that site again.

I don't play video games. I don't watch movies. I don't even have a TV --so this rule doesnt really effect me.

Unless they started forcing cancon on FA or other art sites and forums and the like. There is talk of "regulating social media for Cancon" as well but I don't know what their targets are for it (media, news aggregation and more "simsubbing" maybe?).

They wanna judge it "site by site" which is running into slippery slope territory...

I wouldn't put it past them to try and put more "pressure" on the internet to protect Canadian content though. Even to try and 'enforce' it...

Ill leave this rant with a slippery slope statement. Because "Canadian propaganda rules" ain't going away. So as long as Heritage Canada exists in its current form at least.

They found nothing left of the tumor in her but they still may take out her appendix.

She is set to go back to work this week pending COVID restrictions.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and well wishes. It looks like she is going to be ok.

Especially on the gulf coast.

I will be praying for you.

We found out last week and I wanted to wait a little bit before i said anything.

We got somewhat bad but somewhat good news about the "tests" my sister had on the "thing" in her body.

While its not "true" cancer its still a "tumor" they call it a "non-malignant carcinoma" which is an aggressive non-cancerous growth.

They think it came from her appendix by the way it grew and the type of cells. They have to do a marked cat scan to check if it grew anywhere else in her and she will have to have another surgery to remove the rest of the potential tumor (this includes her appendix but depending on the test it may mean more).

If the scan is clear she can have children again and can move on to recovery.
If there is more tumor she will need chemo and will lose her remaining reproductive tissue. She has one child already but wants to have another.


I thank you for your continued prayers of successful treatment and good outcomes. Its really appreciated.

Much love to you all

no results on tests yet but my sister is at home resting peacefully. She is sore but in good sprits.

Planning on still tackling her back yard tomorrows.


Thanks everyone for the good wishes and prayers.

And another family member is struck by the "mysterious abdominal growth syndrome"....

All jokes aside though their just wheeling her into major surgery right now as i write.. They finally found (hopefully) what has has been giving her "female problems" for the past few months.

She went into the hospital for extreme pain and they found a 20cm by 20cm growth between her ovaries and intestines. It was twisting her Fallopian tubes. She is going to have a big abdominal scar, and hopefully no other long term effects..

She is gonna be off work for 6 weeks and with COVID its going to be a nightmare to deal with (especially with visiting) but we're a good family so she has lots of help. She does have a 2 year old and a new house to care for and they just spent a huge amount of money to fix their back yard.

I just hope its not cancer or something of the like. My aunt died of a similar growth around her kidneys--though that was cancer.

Please pray for her that she makes it out okay and for a good outcome for everyone.

Edit: 08112020@1605 Just got an update. Surgery was a success and they were able to remove all of it but she lost her right ovary and Fallopian tube. She goes home tomorrow for normal recovery and she isn't in as much pain.

They have sent the tissue away for examination and we are all praying its benine.

Wow Its been a year since i posted anything. I figure I'd better say something at least...



I just got telegram this past week. I wanted to wait until i got a new mouse to announce it so i have it.

Come chat with me or invite me to some babyfur groups if I'm still known out there. I miss the old IRC days deeply.

"@"Picaduck or https://t.me/Picaduck



As for updates well....

Things have been going okay for me for the past few years. I haven't had much trouble or drama happening in my life and it has reflected in everything I've done. Things are stable and weather has been clear for me to attempt some progress.

I'm no longer working and haven't been for about 8 months. I was going to start looking again in spring of 2020 but COVID hit. Even in stage 3 though i still cant look much so that is on hold until COVID subsides.

I joined a Gym and am going once a day for about 2 hours to lower my weight issues. I gained some weight over the past few years thanks to my meds but those were changed. I have about 100 pounds to lose eventually...

I lost my aunt to cancer in fall of 2019. This was my Dad's Brother's Wife and a very important fixture in my family. MY uncle and his family still struggle like we all do but everyone seems to be okay now.

Nonno is italian for grandfather for those who don't know.

Nonetheless MY grandfather on my mom's side (the italian one) passed away today from what is suspected as congestive heart failure. He was 79.

He had just recently come out of hip replacement surgery and was doing well after 4 months. He was out of pain and was improving to the point where he was going to start driving again. The surgery was risky but my nonno wanted it anyways and was willing to take the risk. My family also knew that he was having early signs of heart failure as well but chose to go through with the surgery anyways. Like I said the surgery was a sucess but it looks like his heart couldn't take it anymore.

As reported by my aunt, last night his heart took a turn for the worse. He had severe vertigo and couldn't get up so he had to be helped into bed.

Today my Nonna found him laying on the floor face down but still warm. Given he usually did this as part of his ill health she left him there while preparing for the family to come. Around 1400hours when he usually wakes up she checked on him again to find he wasn't responding. She called one of her daughters (my aunts) to come and help out. My Aunt decided to call the ambulance and the rest is history.

The police officer who came knew right away and explained that he had just lost his father from congestive heart failure too. The Coroner came and took his body away and they found out he didn't make it to the bathroom before he collapsed on his way back to bed.

no funeral has been announced yet.

This means that I have lost both grandfathers, both my mom and my dad's parents. The only one remaining is my Nonna left who is still in denial.

I'm still in shock as I usually am with a death. but I know he didn't suffer and he lived his life as he wanted to. He brought in 5 kids, 8 grandkids, and 2 great-grandkids and ran a construction company for the longest time. He loved life and was an incredible father to everyone. He was definitely a warrior who never gave up and had alot of things to show for it.

He will be missed.

As I wrote in a previous journal there would be an announcement of what is happening to the ODSP and how it affects me.

You can read here: https://news.ontario.ca/mcys/en/201.....ssistance.html

That road map is set to happen over 18 months. So, I'll be okay for now.

This is barring any "rate" changes or "asset limits" imposed while I execute my plans over the next few months.

I have yet to see how they will handle the new yearly earnings exception (being yearly and not monthly) it has increases from 200 a month plus 50percent monthly earnings to 6000 plus 7% percent yearly earnings.

The commitment to reduce the burdens placed on self-employment also looks promising though. I dont plan on starting a business anytime soon though but i doubt theyll be expecting long-term unemployed "aspies on welfare" to all get paper routes and go door to door selling lawn care services.

an area of concern though is they are aligning the disability with federal guidelines which means if you don't qualify for this: https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-ag.....x-credit.html. You will be expected to find a job and work (Ontario works only). It is called the Canada Disability Tax Credit or "CDTC".

Eligibility criteria is listed here: https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-ag.....ax-credit.html

As you see unless its really severe those with Aspergers and Mental Illness need not bother to apply. Grandfathering will happen though according to blog sources so people like me who have been living on it since the program began in 1998 will remain on it. Maybe? As I said this is nothing but a designed RATE CUT for these people. Half the time these people

IN an idealized state it looks good, but with 30 percent of all new ODSP cases being ineligible for the "CDTC" its an easy and digestible change to make. It was also expected as very few with mental illness are able to speak out are ignored when it comes to federal politics. about half of ODSP clients not in mental illness or on the Autism Spectrum get the CDTC because it is so focused on developmental disabilities(another legal definition) and physical disabilities. Indefinite workfare for these types of people seems to be the international trend though. I call them 'minor disabilities'.

There is also promises of better employment supports but as someone who spent 7 years on and off looking for a job and being told to "take a break" after every 2 years and 3000 jobs. I'd like to see what happens when doctors sign permanent deferrals that are outside of the CDTC. 60% of those on welfare over 5 years have minor disabilities and chronic issues not severe enough for ODSP now, let alone under the CDTC. They will have larger welfare ranks now.

Very very few supports exist for those ineligible for OSAP/student loans and very few of the employment services out there really work. They can hem and haw about new supports for employment but really all the money in the world cant make you employable. Resumes and interview skills are just not enough for some people. And after living off food banks and 700 a month with little help for 7 years you become disabled by the very nature of it. Under the AODA
AODA the government has to accomodate for those with doctor-defined minor disabilities, not just the ones eligible for a federal tax credit. So something will give.

I've always said federally, they need to accomodate mental illness more into the CDTC; or the government should leave the ODSP alone. But alas all the talking in the world cant change political ideology.

Once the new criteria is established in legislation there will be alot of federal appeals for people with mental illness. I hope the government of Ontario seriously reconsiders re-defining disability for the ODSP.

I turn 34 today and wow what a year its been.

Despite some trouble I'm still having, things have improved for me quite a bit and its easier now for me to stay positive and happy and I think my online friends and IRL contacts/friends appreciate it. It is 3am EST as I write this long "TLDR" journal (Im not particularly concerned anymore) and I have seen 2 awesome commissions that have been birthday gifts, plus 2 more celebrations and a nice free meal at work. I am in a pretty good mood about this year's birthday. I figured I would get some stuff off my chest and write an update to my life as a part of celebrating my year on this earth.

---

My dad is doing much better now as he has completed his cardiac rehabilitation and is working again though my parents have had to take a bit of a financial hit for it. Its really none of my business, but looks like they will be okay in the long run.

Ive been employed for over a year now--almost a year and a half-- as a dishwasher. I work at a very busy and popular local Italian restaurant in the city and am well-liked there. Work is hell and busy as fuck but I'm slowly working my way up to a prep cook, then eventually a line cook while I save money for a 2-year college program here called "Culinary Management" . It is taught at the local community college here in Windsor and is considered "approved advanced training" in the "Red Seal Program" for the Chef Apprenticeship. There is a 4000 hour commitment and examps before becoming a 'Inter-provincially Certified' chef here in Ontario and I plan to follow that path as much as I can. At the end of it, you get a nice certificate with real red and blue wax stamps and respect as a journeyman anywhere in Canada, or internationally if you want.

I have found a purpose for now so I am putting a lot of energy into that--which has benefited me greatly. I'm not capable of "full time" work yet so I'm only working 15-20 hours a week. I'm sure in the future I can put in the long hours Ill need (4000 to become a "Red Seal" Chef) but right now I cant with the pace of work as it is. I'm thinking after I go to college for formal training Ill try full-time work. That is IF I manage to save the money I need the hard way. I declared bankruptcy in 2016 shortly before I went psychotic from all the stress in my life and that pretty much makes me permanently ineligible for OSAP/student loans (as i had student loans include in my filing). Hence, I gotta save the $20,000 dollars ill need to cover tuition, equipment, books, and lost income (as i will NOT be able to work during schooling, something I have tried before and failed at badly). There are some minor grants but as it is now I'll only get max maybe $1000, less than a few weeks of work and not even worth the trouble. (as my OSAP ineligibility pretty much precludes me from any help at all).

Despite my issues with further education and sklll development, my financial situation has improved significantly and I'm not as miserable anymore. Thanks to having spending money for nicer things I don't have a lot of extra money thanks to my savings goal but I can afford luxurious food and the occasional meal out now, or things like padding and pokemon sheets/paraphernalia :P.

I remain on ODSP though with my job supplementing my income per the rules of the program (regular reporting and deductions per their directives). Until the new Ontario Government changes things and kicks me off the program outright being work capable(even at 15 hours and with a doctors note). Then my finances will probably crumble. I'm looking right now of possibly losing $400 dollars a month (what i get from ODSP a month after income deductions) and going from about $1400 a month to $850 net(what my 15 hours a week brings in). I'll be able to afford rent(and internet) and maybe the power bill but ill need a food bank. If they change asset allowances I can kiss college goodbye and Ill be a dishwasher until age-related health or circumstances dictate that I must quit my job and rely on government assistance to live. (at whatever the rate will be once the Progressive Conservatives decide to legislate) I worry about it, but I cant do much--until I see the new reform legislation that the new Progressive Conservative government has promised is coming. I can see another epic court battle and a return of the ASPIE ARMY to Queens Park if things go south and I cant feed myself without assistance. Food stamps are not a program in Canada and assistance for the disabled/poor is a provincial thing NOT a federal one. I lack resources to fight this change coming and it keeps me up at night, aggravating my PTSD.

That doesn't however preclude me from throwing everything on my back and moving to another province out west (to BC or Alberta) if I don't qualify or a program for disabled Ontarians without job-search requirements doesn't exist anymore. It will be expensive though because bus service out there doesn't exist--at least west of Sudbury, Ontario. Flights ain't cheap and i don't have a credit card anymore so I cant reserve a decent flight at all. Plus I don't drive or have any idea what to do should I choose to move the thousands of Kilometers away from my IRL support circle and my diagnosis of schizophrenia. My last trip proved to be pretty fruitful when it came to employment prospects, but logistics and stability prevented me from re-locating permanantly. I do not have the same resources that I once did to pursue this either.

Hence i still have some issues to work out.

I've been working on myself a lot more as well and thanks to FINALLY finding the right psychiatrist and medications (After over a decade of failures in this part) so I'm not as miserable, paranoid, or sensitive as I was. Ive gained a lot of weight but I'm not getting to the point of injuring myself or thinking everyone was out to get me for my failures at life. My mild PTSD though... from numerous attempts and failures at fixes going all the way back to the age of 5... still bothers me. Almost every night i fall asleep to reliving the continuous conflicts that I've had over and over until my meds kick in and i fall asleep.

I have yet to find a real therapist thanks to local politics (Psychiatrists here don't do therapy and most 'therapists' are not covered by OHIP unless their Psychiatrists) and cannot afford the cost even with better cash flow. My employer does not offer a health plan (like most small restaurants even though they have 3 locations and over 100 people working for them) for full time workers either so I'm out there.

I built a PC and learned a lot of things about it about that stuff and will continue to pursue that as a hobby. Id rather be a chef than a PC tech though because the entrance costs are far lower. Plus as a chef I only need 3 certifications (2 I already have) instead of 4 or 5 that can cost thousands every few years.

Beyond that my relationships have improved and Ive become more comfortable around people. I'm still reserved and quiet IRL but things have got better. I can sit through a stream and not panic anymore about people talking behind my back, or thinking I'm worthless. That has improved my self esteem greatly.

I look forward to future challenges, Even though right now the next 1-2 years looks bleak.

---

Edit November 17, 2018 0657 According to this news article (that I missed earlier in the month) https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toro.....odsp-1.4885584 I will find out how my future plans related to finances will play out on the 22nd of November. Doug Ford is planning on doing a Mike Harris and is likely cutting the funds or eligibility of ODSP or scrapping the program completely. That is also the day new legislation will be tabled probably for the Spring of 2019.

We will see what happens

---

Once again thank you for the prayers and well wishes. Things did turn out right though they are still very serious. Even a mild heart attack is no laughing matter.

My dad came home from the hospital today. There will be a month of rest and relaxation then they will do a stress test to check for damage.

Looks like he made it through but they don't know where the clots came from. They are still investigating that.

--UPDATE-- Jan 12, 2018

We got more test results in and some more details as to what happened to my dad. Thank you for your prayers and well wishes they are much appreciated. WE are not out of the woods yet but overnight and today his prognosis has improved.

There were definitely two blockages in his heart but the one that couldn't be unblocked during angioplasty was near the top of his heart. Because the artery where it happened was so small the cardiologist isn't worried about it. There is a diagram on a whiteboard inside his CCU suite showing where exactly the blockages were. They also put a stent into the bigger blockage at the bottom of his heart to prevent a re-occurrence.


The blockages in his heart turned out to be blood clots and not arterial plaques. In fact his cholesterol numbers are ideal. He is on blood thinners(good insurance against more clots), of course, and they changed his blood pressure medicine which seems to be working. As I said before the type of attack he has was in the 20th percentile so they are not ruling out anything from a clotting problem to an inherited birth defect (narrow and hourglass shaped heart arteries) to abnormal clotting issues to DVT and circulation problems. The cardiologists are literally scratching their heads as to a root cause. They are by far though not out of diagnostic testing and other tools to investigate.

So far permanent damage has been minimized and the heart can re-route itself but this will be a recovery that will take months. He remains on bed-rest within the cardiac care unit and is in much better spirits today. he is very much active and full of vigor. He will remain in bed over the weekend until they do a stress test on Monday. We are looking for him to be out of the hospital in about a week and a half

---

If anyone is out there my dad suffered a heart attack today.

I hope everyone understands what I'm about to say but i need your prayers at least for the next week while they figure out what happened and put him back on recovery. Right now best case is a week in the hospital and 2 months at home. Out of work of course and maybe longer if his heart takes more permanent damage. I may or may not set up a GFMe to help with the loss of income but ill look into that more after the anxiety calms down.

---

He was taken by ambulance to hospital this afternoon but they caught it right away thankfully. He is in a lot of pain and they have him on morphine but he is still a bit in denial about the heart attack and is fighting bed-rest while on blood thinners and hooked up to an arterial tap in his arm - something that takes special handling.

He was just getting ready to give my mom her bath before the classic symptoms showed up, dry heaves and all. We did not have any asprin in my parents house but thankfully both my mom and sister knew what was happening right away and my sister, instead of driving to the wrong hospital convinced my mom to call an ambulance. They were there within 7 minutes and were able to do an EKG before they loaded him into the ambulance. I found out that they gave him nitro and whatever else on the way to the hospital through a "code 4 event".

They brought him to the Cardiac Centre (missed a 'widowmaker' event this way) here in Windsor (wont name the hospital but locals know) and within an hour he had an angioplasty done on one of two blockages seen on an Angiogram. They could not unblock the second blockage as he arterial layout of his heat near the 'bottom' had a lot of 'twists and turns' and it prevented access. It is still blocked now but they are watching it for damage. They scheduled him for an ultrasound tomorrow . They may try again to remove the second blockage tomorrow or Monday depending on his condition. The longer the second or hidden blockage remains the more damage to the cardiac muscle happens.

The two blockages are in the bottom of his heart just below a branching artery -one block to each side(not much detail) which happens only in 20 percent of heart attacks(the rest being with major named heart arteries). The two doctors who are watching my dad at the hospital are trying to rule out a disease or blockage higher up that could have fallen to these minor blood vessels. They said that there could be another minor event tonight or tomorrow if this is the case. Its something so rare that they cant rule the possibility out and it is REALLY worrying all of us. They could not find the bigger blockage or disease on the angiogram when he was first admitted There was too much detail for them to spot it.

The bottom of his heart (again I don't know which part as in very bottom--small section or whole ventricle, etc) is also not functioning well and its too early to tell what the source of the attack was. He has suffered cardiac damage already but its not forced retirement or widowmaker level thankfully.

This is baring any larger event within the next 48 hours. I have a friend on 24/7 notice just incase my dad has a 'widowmaker' overnight

He is currently in a Cardiac Care unit and under 24/7 watch and bed-rest with a whole bunch of equipment hooked up to him. He is in good spirits but is very scared as a similar event killed his mom.

---

[

I have a job that takes up to 35 hours a week
I had a move of hell trying to deal with 2 bug infestations at once - its solved

The move took almost a month to get set up. I still haven't changed all my addresses yet (working on it)
I had to replace 100 feet of network cable to even get online

I think I am ready to resume life after clearing 1200 submissions
I wonder if anyone missed me

I've been on this site for 10 years.

Ive lost some friends, kept many and have had one hell of a ride.

God only knows how many times I wanted to leave this place but kept coming back as I've been "Tolerated" by admins. Less so by some people but it is what it is. What do you do though I grew paranoid and bitter after chasing cliques and shadows and what I saw as insular details of the fandom when I knew they couldn't really do much about my issues. (That and you realize how many problems there are and why everyone is expected to shut up about them.)

Now after 2 years of nothing not so much... Ive seen rock bottom and accepted the "end" of my fears and worries, and when it comes it comes. Nothing I or the fandom can do about it when it happens. People are just not interested as it happens behind closed doors.

I'm still alive at least, and am finally doing "better" thanks to long standing issues changing in my life for once.

Hopefully these stick for a while and I'm not so negative as to be paranoid or angry over every mistake Ive made in my life.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/worl.....=.c9a9c89b47b9

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/08/08/north-korea-is-fast-approaching-trumps-red-line/?hpid=hp_hp-top-table-main_fix-nkorea-120pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&tid=a_inl&utm_term=.c1cec06300b4

The only thing keeping us from war with North Korea.........

...Is the potential casualties on Seoul and other major South Korean Cities.
They are close to the border where the north has an insane amount of artillery and conventional ballistic missiles pointed there. Its also mostly underground so it'll take a while to clean it all out (even more Casualties)

The minute this becomes an acceptable loss...

...War will ravage the peninsula again.

And I don't think Russia or the Chinese will do anything about it. No one wants to be seen supporting a rouge nuclear nation with the ability to strike anyone it wants.

Heaven help us if even ONE nuke is used in a tactical engagement. Then it will be ALL over.

In a long forgotten journal about Trump I said he would provoke a war with Russia.

This was before Syria backed up by its Russian allies started gassing the rebels. An ally that most likely knows Assad is using chemical weapons or is totally incompetent. On one hand it could be a posture or we have a country which is worse then North Korea when it comes to nuclear armaments (incompetence).

So Trump looking for a chance to beat his chest like a gorilla annihilates the [originating] Syrian air base with missile dhakka. How? Of course, by one of those one of those new Zumwalt Toys fed to the US by big money.

And what does Russia do? It installs nuclear capable cruse missiles in Syria threatening all of Europe.

Like I said Trump would provoke a War with Russia not there yest but its getting close. And Putin isn't going to back down either.

Though only up to the Cuban missile crisis so far, and endless war with a superpower is a pretty easy distraction from the dismantling of the EPA and destruction of public education. Among other social programs set to be destroyed by the American oligiarchs I can't see how this is going to make anything better.

One could wonder if Trump isn't making is own form of Fake news to hide from the obvious.

FedEx was quick and prompt with the fraud case. They quickly closed the account and reversed the charges without much issue.

I am so relived

I get a customs invoice totaling 0 dollars today from FedEX via snail mail. I have a personal account with them to ship some of my baby gear and to avoid a large freight forwarding fee when I cross the Border to ship.

Since my bankruptcy I haven't bought any baby stuff because I couldn't afford it. Plus I have no credit card anymore. The account has been dormant for almost 2 years.

A few weeks ago i get a massive bill from FedEX totaling 400 Canadian.
I get another bill today totaling another $72 CAD

Stupid me deletes them thinking they are spam mail. Turns out they were legitimate invoices but it is potentially fraudulent use of my account.

They were both for US only packages bound to US addresses sender and receiver. I know nothing of package contents nor why they were sent. I am not shipper or receiver and the packages were signed by someone i have no idea about.

I may owe them 500 or more by the time is done as these are real shipping charges and the account is real. Just some US only packages off of an account made by a Canadian.

I talked to FedEx customer service about it they are forwarding it to their security department. Lets hope they sort it out.

Thank god there was no credit card on my file (as i couldn't figure out how to avoid the freight forwarding fee).

I hope I am not liable for this as that is some serious money. My stomach is in knots.

I has it now
add to chat with me

neochu#4960

After 4 years of hell I am finally on my new computer.

And a new computer it is indeed.

Everyone who had "picaduck" as my main contact over Yahoo needs to be made aware.

Due to extreme issues with yahoo's technical choices I have decided to move my instant messaging to skype.

the contact is the same "picaduck".

Updates will follow as I prepare my new computer for work.