Mysticality is celebrating a follower milestone with a free art raffle. Check it out!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58053002/

Henannio is doing an art raffle. Check it out if you like vore!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58094788/

First, I want to put down on record here that these past few weeks have been extremely difficult for me. My mental health slipped fairly suddenly into the worst low I've had in nearly 7 years. The timing was atrocious because this slide began just after my last therapy appointment followed by a vacation which left me over 2 weeks out from my next appointment. The vacation itself was emotionally taxing because it included my grandfather (who is difficult to deal with on a good day) and took me out of country and into a fairly isolated semi-wilderness area. Then on my way home I caught COVID. In the interest of helping to break the ice on a topic that I wish was more openly discussed: I've been fairly suicidal these past two weeks. Thankfully I have a lot of amazing friends and the foresight to deprive myself of easy access to the highest risk means in my life. Very soon I hope to be seeing my therapist again as well as possibly a psychiatrist or neuropsychiatrist for an updated assessment of my condition and possible changes to my medication. Despite the intensity of the recent struggles I remain hopeful.

Second, and far less important, I've had a lot of people express their preference for me old pure-coyote self as opposed to the new hybrid design. I respect that, but also part of me wants to move on to something which better helps me express the complexity of my own sense of identity. I will NOT be retiring the old version of me in a dramatic fashion. There are good memories there, a lot of financial and emotional investment, and he is my only fursuit. But I don't intend to represent myself as that character in art and chats nearly as much going forward.

Thank you everyone for your continued patience. This has always been my most difficult fight and I wouldn't have made it this far alone. I'm looking forward to the future.

So I've been commissioning more and more art with fetishes that are definitely less likely to be appealing to most folks. Things like scat, gore, and snuff for example. I do try to put content warnings in my image titles but of course the image itself is still visible. And FA being the dumpster fire that it is doesn't have a working content warning or thumbnail system.

So I've been considering making a secondary account for posting my more extreme commissions. Few people keep up with journals I know, so I'm going to be sharing this journal link with friends mostly. Do y'all think I should post extreme fetish art on an alt account?

Slowly catching up on submissions of artwork I've commissioned over the last few years. Not necessarily in chronological (or any kind of logical) order. My profile page also really needs an overhaul.

Don't even get me started on my submission notification backlog... x.x

Check it out!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/56154465/

Got a therapist. Gone twice so far. It seems to be going well and I'm optimistic that I'll regain control over the underlying illness.

Very much appreciate those of you who have stuck by me to provide support. I know it's not easy to do that sometimes. Thank you.

EDIT: Fuck this date. No, this isn't some sort of stupid 4/1 joke.

It's been over 2 weeks now since my last major breakdown. I'm not feeling good but I've been stable this last week.

I keep thinking about that evening though. I made an absolute ass of myself in a furry Telegram group. Such a minor start that spiraled into a real mess. I lost control of myself and I still feel like shit for that. I've apologized to everyone involved except myself. I haven't forgiven myself yet. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable going back there. Even if everyone involved said they forgave me I'd still hate myself for that fuckup. And everyone who saw me acting that way will see that shadow of myself whenever I speak. I don't think I can face that.

I do think I've found a therapist I feel comfortable visiting. I hope they turn out to be a good fit for me. Finding mental health help has always been a terrifying and difficult experience for me. Here's to hoping I can keep making improvements I guess. And maybe eventually move past this. I know two weeks isn't a long time, but until I make changes and become a better person I don't think it really matters how much time has passed.

I don't know how I feel about the fandom anymore. And I don't know how I feel about myself. I'm not sure how much longer I want to keep dealing with all the external hate and internal hate at the same time.

If I can't make the right changes then I likely will disappear. Go dark. I'll probably leave my profile untouched because I don't really care, but I won't be around anymore.

I've just been unbelievably lazy and haven't been uploading my art. I figure I might as well share it here so others can find the artists and enjoy their work as much as I do!

Disallow the sale of taxidermy and tails from dead animals at Midwest Furfest (MFF).

The furry community is huge and those who identify with it and consider themselves a part of it come from all over the globe. We are a diverse bunch with all sorts of different opinions and beliefs. What ties us all together is our love for anthropomorphic art and expression.

It's to be expected that the overwhelming majority of us have a huge amount of compassion for our animal counterparts. This can be demonstrated in the enormous amounts of money we raise for animal sanctuaries, animal rescues, zoos, Humane Societies, and other charities that are typically always geared for the benefit of animals and those who help them. From 1999 – 2017 we have generated roughly $2.7 million dollars to charity! Midwest Furfest raised over $85,000 for C.R.I.S.P. just last year! This really is incredible.

Getting to the point, regardless of your personal opinion about taxidermy and real fur tails that people wear, we should all be able to agree that the sale of taxidermy should not be conducted in an environment with so many people it's sure to offend. Even if you're a person who has a collection of your own, surely you must realize that more people who identify as furries are going to be uncomfortable with your collection than not (and by no small margin either). It would be respectful to keep that away from those it's surely going to offend. But this isn't about any one person's choice to wear a real tail to a convention or not. That is not something that can be controlled in a reasonable fashion.

This petition is only concerned with collecting enough signatures to support the prevention to sell taxidermy and related products at MFF. As it currently stands, MFF highly discourages the sale of these items and does not allow any dealer to sell taxidermy as their only merchandise. Still, every year you see two or three vendors with real animal tails and other products selling their merchandise. The only reason they are able to do this is because there is no policy in place that prevents it provided they have other items and merchandise to sell other than taxidermy (and the related).

While the MFF staff recognizes the conflict of interest and sympathizes with those who are offended and saddened by the sight of dead animal parts being used in this manner, they are not able to completely prohibit their sale without our help. Now, Midwest Furfest is the largest furry convention in the entire world! If we can help support the MFF staff to adopt this request, many other fur cons are sure to follow suit.

I am confident that the vast majority of our community will support this petition and I implore you all to sign. Your opinion matters and together we can make our conventions better, more welcoming, and happier for all who attend.

Click here to sign!
https://chn.ge/2ERrwYZ

Finally took some time to fix the M-B personality box. Now it's all purdy!

I should really upload more. :U

Just in case anyone was worried: no, my sudden interest in...darker...
fetishes is not an indicator of any bad thoughts. Unless you mean
bad as in naughty. ;P

When I grow up I want to be Zabivaka!!! <3

Merry Yiffsmas you mutts! May all your kinkiest fantasies come true!

Unrelated joke:
What's a macro's favorite candy bar?
(Note me if you want the answer, but feel free to leave a guess in the comments!)

And thus I have legally aged another year today. Let me tell you, aging a whole year in single day is one hell of an ordeal. I'd recommend spreading the process out over a longer period of time.

IDK, I'm just really in the mood for some aggressive, possibly lethal, feral wolf sex.

Shoutout to my wolf friends, keep being sexy.

Awoo!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/21101293/

Tartii does helluh good work and I wanna see her get this accomplished.
This needs to be a thing. Boosting because I want this to be a thing. Tell your furriends!

I've been meeting some new furs on FA, as well as having conversations with some of the furs I
already know. Seems I was too quick to judge everyone by a few bad encounters. It's nice to
know there's lots of good people out there too.

As a side note, my new prescription is kicking my ass right now. Hopefully adjustment ends by
Tuesday.

I always kinda figured furries of all people would cherish animals. Several times now I've been shown that this is not the case.

Hard to put into words how ashamed I am to be a furry.

[EDIT]
Perhaps I'm being a little dramatic. I'm sure not all furries are that way. Still, I seem to have bad luck with my encounters so far.

I feel like an outcast and a loser among the furry community. I don't really feel like I know very many people. I have few to no friends and what few I do have never really communicate much with me if at all. I'm just an acquaintance.

Depression sucks. I wish my mate was around so I could cuddle him.

Somebody come pet me until I fall asleep. Plz?

^..^~

Haven't done any photography lately because it occurred to me that
nobody likes photography anymore. It's a dead art, there's nothing
left to be done that a hundred other people with $1000 software
haven't done already. It's just a hobby and a job at this point, and I
don't have the desire to be doing either of those with my camera.

Kinda wish I'd saved my money. :/