So it occurred to me that I haven't been active around here for a long-ass time, so here's a kind of general update.
I don't expect to get a lot more active, as I'm nowhere near as 'chronically online' as I used to be, which I see as a plus.

Anxiety

About 2 years ago now I was put on an anti-depressant (Cipralex) to help me with what my doctor called an 'overwhelming anxiety disorder'. While I know that SSRIs can take trial and error to dial in for a lot of people, I was fortunate that this one met my needs.

I've found a massive change in my coping ability, my mind is calmer, my thoughts are clearer. The best part for me? Things that used to be huge anxiety triggers barely register as background noise now. I used to have multiple social triggers that would set me into paranoid thought spirals for days or weeks at a time. Stuff that used to really stress me out just don't matter anymore.

Work

About a year and a half ago I landed what seemed like a dream job to me in the company I've worked for over 12 years. It's challenging, varied enough to keep me on the move, and I feel like I make a difference. Even if it's not a big difference, having an impact on things in a positive way has been rewarding.

Early 2022, this became a real dream of a job for me. I've always wanted to help others grow and learn, and I've been fortunate to now co-manage a development program for aspiring analysts. I went though this program myself, and it totally changed my life. If I can enable others to change theirs, I can't think of anything more gratifying.

Catto!

Just over a month ago, my partner and I added four paws to our household. Working from home has been really lonely for me, particularly now that I'm not even in the same city as anyone on my team. In light of this, I started badgering him to let me adopt a pet. Well, I have heinous animal allergies to both cats and dogs, so the route I chose was to go to a breeder who specialized in sphynx cats. (Note: Without allergies being an issue, would 100% have adopted. This was not an option for us.)

We picked up our little man August 7, and he's already an ingrained part of our lives. Within a week, I couldn't imagine the home without him!

He has an amazing personality, chill and cuddly for the most part, great with new people, with spurts of chaotic goblin energy for spice. Even when he's naughty, he's very loved, as well as very spoiled. My best friend even commented that I, 'put more thought into buying a cat than most people put into buying a house'. She's not wrong there, haha.

Anyway, he's my tiny gremlin child now, and I couldn't be happier. I sort of understand parents a bit better, having this tiny creature depending on you changes how your brain works. For me, it's been a massive change for the better, there's so much more love in my life than there was without a pet.

Conclusion

TL;DR?

I'm alive! Life is good! Mental health is better than it's been in a decade!
Work is awesome! I love my new hairless alien baby boy!

Hey folks,

I had been talking with a few artists about possibly getting an image done of Dolly (See http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17493008/ for an idea) posed with a pet of hers (BDSM style pet, not a feral). I had wanted to have this be someone she was close to, but things don't always work out the way we want, right?

However, I'm not going to let a single disappointment sour me on the idea of possibly getting such a picture done.

I haven't decided whether it would be NSFW or SFW, so that's something to consider.

So, if you'd like a chance to have a commission done of your character in such a state, please let me know by commenting (or noting if you're shy) by answering the following fields.


Reference Picture: (link to an image)
NSFW/SFW Preference:
Position Preference (if any):

Be aware that your character is to be portrayed in a submissive position for this image.

I'll inform the individual selected that they've been selected. The chosen person has no need to help pay for the commission, as this is me asking for volunteers. A link to the image will be provided once completed.

Thanks for your attention,

-PT

Hey there folks,

Earlier today I had something of a flash of inspiration. I've determined I may want to attempt a series of quasi-linked short stories set in an urban fantasy environment (think demons, humans, monsters, fae, elves, yadda yadda in modern day setting, some magic interfacing with technology).

The idea I have is to have these stories vaguely center around a BDSM club, thus I'd like to get a few suggestions from those watching me.

The stories I'd like to write are going to be erotica, as most of my work is. Ergo, sex is a thing likely to happen! Yay!

So here's what I'd like from those who watch me.

What kind of kinks (bearing in mind I don't tend toward the 'sillier' or 'toony' kinks) would you like to read short stories about?

I plan to treat the subject matter with consideration and respect, and use actual BDSM techniques and practices (Safe, Sane, Consensual) as a basis to both tell a fun, sexy set of stories, while doing my best to avoid the misrepresentation of the kink lifestyle that pieces like 50 Shades bring to the table. Just because I may not have a kink doesn't mean I'm not willing to explore one in writing, within reason.

Any feedback or suggestions are welcome. I've already started mocking up possible characters for this project. I feel like this could be fun.



CURRENT SUGGESTIONS

-Femdom
-Flogging
-Spanking
-Restraints
-Watersports
-Exhibitionism
-
-
-
-

Meme thingy jacked from  Ravica.


Basically, whatever category you get the most in is your supernatural species. Was pretty fun!


VAMPIRE
[X] You'd Rather Be Pale Than Tan.
[ ] You Like To Eat Or Drink Red Things.
[X] You're Lustful/Sexual.
[X] When You're Kissing Someone, You Tend To Bite Them.
[ ] You're Dark, Mysterious, And Seductive.
[ ] You've Tasted Your Own Blood Before And Liked It.
[X] Being Out In The Sun Too Long Makes You Feel Weak.
[ ] You're graceful, lithe, and can appear threatening or dangerous to others.
[ ] You have incredible charm and can get people to do nearly anything.
[X] You're more active at night

Total: 5


INCUBUS/SUCCUBUS
[X] You're Incredibly Lustful/Sexual.
[X] Sex Is Almost Always On Your Mind.
[ ] You Could Make Someone Completely In Love With You By Merely Kissing Them.
[X] You're Not A Virgin.
[ ] You Burn Through Lovers Quickly.
[ ] You Can Make Love With Someone And Drop Them In The Same Breath.
[ ] If You Don't "Feed" Your Lust, You Go Insane.
[ ] You Have Strong/Long Nails.
[ ] You Could Get Nearly Anyone You Want.

Total: 3


WEREWOLF
[X] You have a bad temper.
[ ] You're incredibly physically strong and fast.
[X] You Love The Moon.
[X] You're Very Loyal.
[X] If You Love Someone, You'll Do Whatever You Possibly Can To Protect Them.
[X] You Would Go On A Devastated Rampage Should Your Loved Ones Be Harmed.
[X] You Like Dogs.
[X] You're fairly Sturdy in stature.
[X] You're Either A Good Leader Or A Solitary Person.
[ ] You Have A Hard Time Controlling Yourself Half Of The Time.

Total: 8


NEKO(Cat-Person)/WERECAT
[X] You Like Cats.
[ ] You're lithe and agile.
[ ] You could fall off of anything and always land on your feet.
[ ] You Like Gymnastics.
[X] You Love To Eat Seafood.
[X] You're Affectionate And Cozy.
[X] If Someone Is Able To Sneak Up On You And Startle You, You Jump Up Or Swat At Them.
[ ] You Like Yarn.
[ ] You Like Chasing Things.
[ ] You're An Excellent Hunter/Fighter.

Total: 4

ZOMBIE
[X] You're An Outcast.
[X] You Feel As If You're Not Truly Alive.
[X] You'll Moan When You're Hurt Rather Than Scream Or Cry
[X] You Tend To Zone Out.
[X] You Don't Feel Very Smart.
[ ] You Like Worms.
[X] You Like Taking Things Slowly.
[X] You Like Odd Foods.
[X] You Prefer To Suffer In Silence.
[X] You Don't Get Much Sleep.

Total: 9


SPIRIT/GHOST
[ ] You're Invisible.
[X] You Have An Oddly Eerie Presence.
[ ] You Can Send Chills Down A Person's Spine Just By Looking At Them.
[X] You Have Messy Hair That Is Partially/Completely In Your Face.
[ ] You're Incredibly Gentle.
[ ] You're Very Shy Around Someone You Find Attractive
[X] You Tend To Simply Disappear When no One's Looking.
[X] You Enjoy Scaring People.
[X] You Like The Indoors.
[X] You Are Deeply Connected To The Ones You Love No Matter What Happens.

Total: 6


GHOUL
[ ] You Will Eat Just About Anything.
[ ] You Like To Attack People Verbally Or Physically.
[ ] You Are Thrilled If You Can Make Someone Bleed.
[ ] You Wouldn't Care If You Hurt Someone As Long As You Can Get What You Want From Them.
[ ] You Like Stalking People.
[X] You Find It Fun To Crawl Into Tight, Small, Cramped, Dirty Spaces.
[X] You Get Hungry Easily.
[ ] You Like Torture.
[ ] You live to hurt people.
[ ] You Like The Idea Of Being Insane.

Total: 2


WITCH
[ ] You're Into Wicca/Paganism.
[ ] You Like Magical Objects.
[ ] You Believe In Magic.
[X] You Perform Odd Rituals On A Daily Basis. (OCD, bitches. XP)
[ ] People Find You Intolerably Cruel.
[ ] You enjoy manipulating people.
[ ] You Feel Deeply In Touch With Nature And Hate Industrialization.
[X] You Love Black Cats/Ravens.
[ ] You Practice Voodoo
[ ] You Tend To Laugh Hysterically While Picking Up On Someone You Find Attractive.

Total: 2


SHAPE-SHIFTER
[X] You Have Different Personalities.
[X] Your Style Could Change From Goth To Preppy In The Same Second.
[ ] You Have More Than One Lover.
[X] You're Unpredictable.
[X] You Would Change Yourself Entirely To Fit In.
[X] You Are Fond Of Many Different Things.
[X] You Can Easily Get Out Of Trouble By Changing Your Demeanor.
[X] You often say one thing and mean another.
[X] You Like To Leave Your Clothes On The Floor After Taking Them Off.

Total: 8


DEMON
[X] You Have A Very Bad Temper.
[ ] You're Usually Angry.
[ ] You Have To Make Other People Miserable With Every Breath That You Take.
[ ] You Worship Satan.
[X] You like pentagrams.
[X] You love to mess with people's heads.
[ ] You Could Do Just About Anything Bad To Someone And Feel Proud.
[X] You Laugh When Other People Are Hurt. (Who doesn’t? Look at AFHV.)
[ ] Physically Harming Someone Turns You On.
[ ] You Respond To An Insult By Viciously Attacking The Other Person.

Total: 4


ANGEL
[ ] You're A Very Good Person.
[X] You Take Care With Everything You Do.
[X] You Can Be Extremely Serious.
[X] You're Gentle And Kind To Even Your Worst Enemies.
[ ] You Cannot Hold A Grudge Against Anyone.
[X] You Would Gladly Endure Anything For The Sake Of The Ones You Love.
[ ] You're A Virgin/Have Never Kissed Anyone Apart From Family.
[ ] People See You As Being Very Pure
[ ] You Are Obedient And Follow Rules Without Question.
[ ] You Love God.

Total: 4


Fairy/Elf
[ ] You Enchant People.
[ ] You Like Organic Things.
[ ] You're Almost Always Smiling.
[ ] You Love The World Around You.
[X] You Get Attached To Animals Easily.
[ ] You're A Walking-Talking Chick-Flick/Prince-Charming.
[ ] You Fall In Love Easily.
[ ] You Don't HATE Anyone.
[ ] You Have A Very Bright/Bubbly/Friendly Personality.
[X] You like long hair

Total: 2

Hey folks!

I've wanted to get back into writing short stories for a while, and figure if have some fun with the idea.

I'm looking to write a one-off, erotica style piece featuring my primary female character, Dolly. She's a blackface sheep who happens to be a dominatrix.

What I'm looking for is someone she might decide to draw off for some adult themed fun. This is probably going to be a relatively standard casual bang, with emphasis on control (Dolly tends to coax and cajole others into debauchery as opposed to outright domme type stuff).

She's a sapiosexual, so as long as a character's got some brains and a n interesting personality, she'd be game.

If you'd like your character to be in this little exercise, please leave a comment with a few key details about your character, suggestions below.

-Name
-Species
-Gender/Sex (cis and trans both fine)
-A sentence or two (more is good) about their personality, likes, and dislikes.
-Picture references, if you have them.

I'll pick the winner(s) sometime next week, and consult the owner of the character.

Please note: if submitting multiple characters, please separate comments to limit confusion.

TL;DR Version: I wish people would ask to spend time with me, instead of me having to hound them.




Lately I’ve felt kind of invisible. And I don’t really know if I’ve done something to earn it (of course I usually assume I have) but I know that it’s upsetting.

Yeah, this is another of those ‘stream of consciousness’ kind of ramblings, and I probably don’t do a thing with it, but I need to let it out.

Creatively, I’ve felt stunted lately. And not just in my role play, but in almost every creative facet of things. My sketches don’t come out well, my aims at plotting stories just fizzle out, and I can’t even really get into the mood to pursue side hobbies of mine. It’s unsettling, immensely frustrating, and I feel like in the span of twenty minutes, I can go from feeling pretty good, to wanting to pull my hair out and scream.

Recently, I had one really rough day. Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, maybe I didn’t sleep well. I honestly have no clue. But by the time I got to work, I was absolutely livid. I didn’t know why, but I was so angry that I wanted nothing more than to seethe and snarl the whole day. I spoke to a friend of mine, who was gracious enough to allow me a venting session. I texted my husband, who, as he always is, was sympathetic and supportive. I can’t explain how lucky I am to have him in my life. But nothing really helped. I was just pissed off at life.

And don’t think I didn’t try to chase the feeling away. I don’t like being a miserable sack of shit any more than the next person. Feeling pissed off, well, it’s not a fun place to be. So I did what I could to distract myself, I listened to music I love, I took the time to search some stand-up. I went for a walk, and I tapped every mnemonic device in my arsenal to push the negativity out of my mind.

Here’s the thing. Above all things? I wanted to be able to just verbally shred into someone. To lash out, decimate a random target, and make them feel as awful as I did. Of course, I’m not that usually heartless or cruel, I just kept trying to distance myself from it. Not going to lie, there were casualties. Honestly, I don’t think I’m over it, even two days later. I’m still angry. I still feel helpless. I still feel invisible.

And while I was angry, I couldn’t help but turn over the last few months in my head. When shit started going to pot for me. And I came to a conclusion (one that holds up, even after I calmed down a fair bit). I really do invest myself too much in other people. I play to kinks I don’t have, push myself to write scenes that make me uneasy. I let others lean on me, even when I’m not feeling all that strong. I try to be there for everyone. I try to make everyone happy. And the only thing that does is make me feel shitty.

Because I know that defining my worth by what I mean to others is unhealthy. I know that extending myself beyond what’s emotionally comfortable isn’t wise. But none of that makes me care less about the people in my life. None of it diminishes that desire I have to be wanted, to be needed, to be cared about. And I know that just because I care for someone else doesn’t necessarily mean they care about me. I’d be foolish to think that everyone in my life that I considered a close friend considers me as good a friend as I do them.

I’m an introvert, and that’s probably the crux of it. I don’t bond easily to people, so when I do, I bond firmly. I find so few people who challenge me intellectually, or who interest me in personality, who spike my interest with wordplay or sense of humour. And I know everyone feels like an outsider sometimes, but I don’t think I’ve ever really felt like I belong, anywhere. As reserved as I am, I have a small core group of people who are vital to me, and the rest of the world falls to the side.

And that’s not any intentional or conscious thing. None of us can help who we care about. We don’t get to choose who sinks claws into our hearts or minds. And for me, that’s kind of a problem. Unlike someone extroverted, I don’t have a dozen paths I could take, or a gaggle of people seeking me out. I wouldn’t be comfortable if I did, really. I have a road with few forks, and which one I choose is, for me, a significant decision. If I choose your path, you must be important to me. And by contrast, when you don’t pick mine, I can only suppose I’m not as important to you. It’s not anything wrong with you, but I can only ever see things with my own eyes, even if they lie to me. And they do.

I’m not sitting at my laptop with a list of preferences for who to spend time with, I don’t have a hierarchy. If I engage someone, it’s because I want to spend time with them. Do some people pique certain interests more than others? Yeah. Do I believe that friendships require maintenance? Yeah. Have I been remiss in maintaining various relationships of mine? Oh Hell yes. But have others been remiss in maintaining relationships with me? I really think so.

Even as introverted as I am, I try to make a point of engaging my friends as I see them. Even if it’s just a cursory thing, it’s a touch point. And I’ve made strides in balancing my time with those in my life who express an interest in my company. At the same time, I often feel disregarded when those friends don’t make the same attempts in relation to me.

Small talk is abysmal to me, it’s trite prattle that only ever frustrates me. But I do it, because lately, I don’t feel like I can have anything else. And yeah, I’ll admit that I sometimes want attention from people, even if I’m awful at admitting it. It goes back to feeling invisible.

Most of the conversations I have with people, I start. I don’t often have others engage me directly. I’m the chaser, the initiator, the catalyst. Unfortunately, that comes with risks for someone with my insecurities. If I feel put off, set aside, or flat out rejected, it diminishes my interest in trying to initiate conversation. It hurts. No one likes being rejected, and I don’t have either the patience or the spunky spirit to play the romantic comedy underdog who hounds their prospective partner. I just don’t.

And so, more often than not, when I reach out and find my hand slapped away, it puts me back into the shell I so often try to break out of.

Of course, there’s a part of me that wonders why no one else can bother reaching to me now and then. A little bit of balance is all I’d really ask for. Everyone wants to be wanted, and now and then, we all want to be sought out specifically. As a role player, I would love if people asked me to play with them, as opposed to consistently feeling as though I have to make the request of others. This isn’t even a single person thing, either, which is probably what rankles me most. Of the people I like to interact with, I feel like I’m the one proposing spending time together the vast majority of the time.

Of sure, once in a blue moon, one of them seeks me out. And I appreciate the Hell out of that. It’s flattering. But it’s frustrating when having a friend ask to spend time with me is such a rare occurrence. Is there something wrong with wanting to be the one getting approached sometimes?

God knows I never really got it in real life, given how I look and who I am. I was never the one fawned over by the masses, or flirted with casually. Nope. I’ve had to win people over with my mind and wit as long as I can remember. I’ve had to fight to prove myself, time and time again. People who look like me… we have to struggle every day to even be seen, let alone wanted. We have to pull what attention we can have with brains and humour, because otherwise, what do we even have?

And in my role play, that’s my arsenal, wit and intellect. Creativity and focus.

Allow me just a moment to indulge in a spot of egotism. I happen to know that I’m a good writer. I know that I have a way of making my words come to life, infusing authenticity and charm into a character. It’s one of the few points of pride I have in my life, and I guard it fiercely. Hell, I’m not above saying that I sometimes take pride in the fact that others find my narrative intimidating. Because when was someone ever daunted by something of low quality? I find it a compliment, one of the few I often accept at face value.

But even that pride cracks for me. Am I too wordy? Am I pushing people away? Am I dominating a scene? Am I making others feel inadequate or insignificant? Because of course, I can’t have something I’m proud of without it making others feel worse about themselves. That would be too easy!

What it boils down to is that I write and role play because they’re fun hobbies for me. They’re hobbies I have some natural aptitude in, hobbies I’m usually confident about.

Right up until I decide I’m tired of initiating that contact.

Right until I feel that desire for someone else to search me out instead.

Every time I sought someone out, I specifically had an interest in writing with them. No one else. Them.

Sometimes I want someone to feel that way about me. To reach out and ask me if I want to write with them. I bet it sounds selfish, because apparently wanting someone else to care enough to seek me out is just that. I want chased, I want fawned over, and so forth. But I’ve forgotten what it feels like to even BE chased. I feel like I’m so busy chasing others down that they’ve become acclimated to my being the starter of interactions, the catalyst.

Maybe I’ve trained people that I’ll always be the one to ask for their attention.

Honestly… It’s hard largely being the one to reach out. Risking slapped fingers or outright dismissal. It often sucks, and it’s disheartening to be turned down. I said it before, no one likes rejection. And it’s possible I’ll get past this, that I’ll eventually perk up and be alright initiating things again.

But right now, I feel invisible, and I want someone else to want me for a change.

Howdy to the folks who watch me,

A good friend of mine (  kanis88 ) is looking to get some money together for some personal reasons, and is currently offering 5$ commissions to try and raise some funds.

He's quite a dear friend of mine, so please consider helping him out in exchange for some art.

Original journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6603257/

Thanks in advance,

-PT

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6510818/

Hey folks,

One of my favourite artists on FA (SoulsPoison) is striking out on her own to try and make it as a full time artist. She does gorgeous work, and I have several pieces by her that I absolutely adore.

If you havent, please go and have a look at her work, it's consistently beautiful and amazing. And she's been wonderful to commission every time.

Please give her a glance, I promise you won't be disappointed.

<3 you all!

-PT

Hey there everyone,

I'm aware I'm running a bit late on this, but things have been really nuts for me in the last few weeks. I can't believe I had to engage in nearly ten different Christmas and Holiday parties this year, I feel like I haven't had time to breathe!

Anyways, most of that's over and done with, so here's my little wish for all of you.

Whatever you celebrate, or if you don't celebrate anything, I hope that all of you have a safe and warm holiday season. Everyone deserves to be content and enjoy themselves in a season full of tumult and chaos.

And if you don't have anyone around, don't hesitate to reach out. You'd be surprised who cares enough to be there for you. Try not to get lost in what you don't have, and see what you do. I know that depression knows no personal source, and that you can't always control the ups and downs (things I've learned through having multiple friends who suffer with depression of many kinds).

Remember that all of you have my love over this time, I'd give every last one of you a hug if I could. May 2015 bring blessings and warmth to each and every one of you.

Take care of yourselves,

-PT

Hey folks,

This is just a quick little plug for something that looks like it could be pretty awesome.

http://www.furgather.com/

Essentially, it's FaceBook, but for furries!

As someone who likes to keep my real life separate from my furry pursuits, this kind of thing is perfect for me!


I've made up a profile under my OC, Dolly, the dominatrix ewe. Link is below if anyone cares to add me or investigate.

http://www.furgather.com/hellodolly

Alrighty, so this meme is apparently about finding out what assumptions people have about you, and either confirming or dispelling them!

Comment below if you have an assumption about me you'd like to have clarified. I'll respond with whether or not it's true!

Don't anticipate many, but here goes somethin'!

X3

...I'm pretty damn addicted to Diablo III.


I don't have a lot of time to play, but what time I do have is being used to fiddle about with one of three characters I have going.

My first was a Witch Doctor, and since playing her to Level 13, I haven't done much with her.

My second (and current favorite) is my Wizard, whi I just got up to Level 20 about ten minutes back.

My third (the one I multi-player fiddle with my husband) is a Demon Hunter at Level 10.

Pretty sure this isn't healthy. One thirty in the damn morning and I only dragged myself away because my eyes hurt.


Ah well, looking forward to the weekend, onward to Level 30!

May the fourth be with you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgAlQuqzl8o

That is all.

Follow this to figure yours out:

A = French Kisser
B = Good Kisser
C = Will kick your ass
D = Very very easy for people to like you
E = Crazy as hell
F = Loves it hard
G = Can kick your ass
H = Freaking hot
I = Everyone's best friend
J = Hot
K = Crazy
L = Beautiful eyes
M = Very good kisser
N = Cool person
O = Different
P = The best at all sports
Q = An animal lover
R = Beautiful/handsome
S = Damn sexy
T = Easy to fall in love with
U = Will make you laugh till your sides burst
V = Most amazing kisser EVAR!
W = Makes people laugh
X = Never lets people tell you what to do
Y = Can be funny and dumb at the same time
Z = Loved by everyone


So I'm...

C = Will kick your ass
A = French Kisser
L = Beautiful eyes
L = Beautiful eyes
I = Everyone's best friend
S = Damn sexy
T = Easy to fall in love with
A = French Kisser

V = Most amazing kisser EVAR!
A = French Kisser
S = Damn sexy
Q = An animal lover
U = Will make you laugh till your sides burst
E = Crazy as hell
Z = Loved by everyone

So, according to this silly meme, I really like to French kiss, am damn sexy (lies and slander!), will kick asses, love animals, make people laugh, am crazy, and loved.

Weird.

1. Do you sleep in your bra? – Why would anyone? Those things are damn uncomfortable!

2. Do you sleep with socks on? – Only if my feet are cold, which isn’t often.

3. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone else? – I would rather sleep with my husband than on my own.

4. Do you enjoy drama? – I can be entertained by the futility of it, but I really hate being dragged into it.

5. Are you a girly-girl? – Not really, I’m a tomboy. I’d rather chill in jeans and a t-shirt than a dress.

6. Who was the last person you hugged? – My husband, about half an hour ago.

7. Small or large purse? – Purse? I have a backpack. O.o

8. Are you short? - Short! I’m 5’1”.

9. Do you like somebody? – I like a few people, most of them are friends of some kind. Also, I’m not 12, I’m either attracted to someone or not. Grow the Hell up.

10.Does your Facebook password have to do with a boy? – A boy? Oh golly gee! Tee hee! … No, no it doesn’t. Hell. Remember, not 12!

11. Do you care if your socks are dirty? – Ew. Very much so.

12. Do you think you’re conceited? – I don’t think so, I’m actually pretty self-deprecating.

13. Do you dress up on Halloween? – Hell yes! Costumes are awesome and hilarious!

14. Are you double jointed? – Just in my pinky fingers.

15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? – Slept as in sleep? Um, on the floor in the back room of a Tim Horton’s.

16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours? – At least once a day, and I tend to reciprocate. Also, around my siblings, ass smackage is pretty commonplace. My sisters and I tend to exchange boob gropes, haha.

17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you? – It’s possible, but I can’t imagine what I’ve done that was interesting enough to talk about.

18. Do you call anybody by their last name? – Um, a couple of my co-workers, but they tend to encourage it.

19. How many guys will read this just because it says "Girl Confessions"? – Not sure, but that’s okay.

[X] I do wear make-up. – I have to be going to a pretty big event though.
[ ] I have cried in a movie theater.
[ ] I can put mascara on without opening my mouth. – Part of the tomboy terrain, maybe?
[ ] I get jealous. – I eerily don’t. I’ve mostly given up with feeding negative emotions.
[ ] I think Johnny Depp is sexy. – I think Johnny Depp is my Mom’s age… Ew.
[ ] JUDE LAW FAG – Wtf does this even mean?
[X] I love to laugh. – How is this girly? I’m not a “woo girl.”
[X] I like death/grind/black metal. – Again, how in the Hell is this girly?
[ ] I like rap.
[X] I like techno. – Electronica, actually, but selectively.
[ ] I like country. – Is there an anti-X for these?
[X] I carry a purse. – Only when formal-ified.
[X] I'd be lost without my computer. – This is hardly girly.
[ ] I own a Spice Girls CD. – Hahaha! No!
[ ] I own a Britney Spears CD. – What in the blue Hell? No!
[ ] I own a boy band CD. – I think I used one as a Frisbee once?
[X] I get bored watching football. – Little known fact: I used to play football.
[ ] I've never been called a spoiled brat. – Only in jest, however. Heh.
[ ]Guys are confusing. – I don’t find guys confusing. Girls though? Hell yes.
[X] I've been called a bad influence – Haha, where do I start!?
[X] I have/had a piercing other than my ears. – Used to be three in each ear, lower lip, and tongue. The lip ring is gone. Again, girly how?


Come on ladies, be truthful!

1. What color is your bra that your wearing? – Purple. When a lady gets to my boob size, bras are no longer optional.

2. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys? – The only hard and fast is that I don’t care for blond guys.

3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy? – A boy? So we’re back to the middle school crap? No. I’m not “frustrated with a boy.” FFS.

4. What's one thing a guy can do to make you like them? – Guy, we’re improving. Be honest, be intelligent, and be nerdy.

5. Do you have a best friend? – I like to think I have two: my friend Tora and my husband.

6. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery? – I’ve considered it, but I don’t want to cheat or become someone I’m not.

7. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you? – Uh, no. Because in general, I never befriended whores, and I never dated he-whores.

8. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on? – Nope, but that’s because I don’t really like pools. Being OCD makes the idea of jumping into water occupied by a hundred other people (who may or may not have washed recently) kind of nauseating.

9. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys? – I probably have more guy friends now than female friends. I think this may be the tomboy thing in action, as most girly girls madden me.

10. How long have you had a facebook? – I couldn’t say, I’m not sure.

11. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face? – Boy… That’s really irritating me now. No, I haven’t.

12. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater?" – I’m undecided. Most of the people I know who cheated in the past continue to. This said, I believe enormous change is possible with determination and effort.

13. Have you ever had a good feeling about something? – Once in a while, yes.

14. Do you ever wish you were famous? – Hell no. Fame means being focused on. I like being a wallflower.


THIS GUY OR THAT GUY? PICK ONE:

Cowboy or Gangster? Eww to both.

Preppy or Punk? I like the punk style more.

Face or Body? Bah, brains all the way!

Good cook or take you out a lot? I don’t care one way or the other.

Sweet or sexy? Someone can’t be both?

Armani or Abercrombie? Buh? No friggin’ clue.

Contacts or glasses? Glasses! I kind of have a glasses fetish… >.>

Here's the unofficial internet perv test!


http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons.....13810525_n.jpg

What did you see?

Hello dear watchers!

I'm writing a story that deals with some pretty dark themes, and I know they're not things everyone will be comfortable with.

The subject material has to do with severe emotional trauma, abuse, rape, and the aftermath of them.

This story will be different from anything else I've written, and will be done in installments.

The question then is this...


What kind of disclaimer do you think I should put on this story?

I want to advise of theme without being garish about it, and let people know that it may be graphic enough to trigger episodes in people who have undergone these events in their past.


I also want to know if my watchers are offput by the content I'm discussing. It isn't going to change the story, but it will influence the manner with which I post it.

Opinions are welcome, hate-speech is not. Thanks!

As many of those who write on FA know, it's much harder to attract watches and favourites as a writer.

This said, I feel pretty honored to have gotten up to over one hundred watches!

Given how little I actually post, I think that's pretty damn cool.


So thank you to everyone who has watched me! I really appreciate that you've taken the time to look through ny gallery and find something that drew you enough to click the Watch link.


<3

[ ] you meow/bark to get attention
[x] you find pets toys amusing
[ ] you get hyper by the smell of catnip
[ ] you growl/hiss when someone gets too close to your food
[ ] you growl/hiss when someone you dislike is too close to you
[ ] you purr/shake your leg when someone shows you affection
[ ] if someone tosses a ball, you chase it and bring it back
Total: 1

[ ] you love to be scratched behind the ear
[x] you love fish/meat (Fish yes, meat no. And how is this furry?)
[ ] you like to stick your head out through the window of a moving car.
[x] you like when people pet your head (Only my husband, really.)
[ ] people can make you stop doing stuff by hitting you on the nose with a newspaper
[ ] you think feathers are fun to play with
Total: 2

[x] you sleep a lot during daytime
[x] you enjoy scaring birds (Birds are assholes…)
[ ] you lick peoples faces to show you like them
[x] you bite people if they annoy you (Though this is rare.)
[ ] you tend to steal food from your friends/family's plate when you have eaten all of yours
[ ] milk or water is your favorite drink
Total: 3

[x] you own a collar and you enjoy wearing it (Though for me it’s more… well… “play” based.)
[x] you own a leash and enjoy wearing it (Ties into the collar, go figure.)
[ ] you own animal ears/tail/paws or a fursuit
[x] you enjoy long walks in the park (If the weather allows.)
[ ] you meow/bark when you see something you want
Total: 3

[ ] you call your hands and feet "paws"
[x] you tilt your head when you do not understand what someone is talking about (Is this uncommon?)
[ ] you run to the door when someone mentions a walk
[x] you really enjoy cuddling (Doesn’t everyone?)
[x] you stretch your body and whimper a bit every morning when you wake up
[x] you can wake up and go back to sleep right away after looking around
Total: 4

[ ] you have your favorite spot besides your bed where you like to sleep
[ ] you meow or bark very often
[ ] you hide when you get scared
[ ] you run to the door to see who it is every time someone comes in to the house
[x] you like to chase flying insects and try to catch them with your bare hand (I don’t like to, but I do it out of habit.)
[x] you tend to chew on stuff a lot
[ ] you like to do tricks to get a treat
Total: 2

[ ] you own a wearable item/tag with your name on it
[ ] you refer to yourself as an animal
[ ]your username has something to do with animals
[x] your e-mail has something to do with animals
[x] if you get a bleeding wound, you lick it to make it feel better (I put my finger in my mouth when I cut it, does that count?)
[ ] you look for edible stuff often
Total: 2

[x] you often find yourself looking through the window for a long time
[ ] you like to say hi to strangers
[ ] you like to be petted when you have done something good
[ ] people think you act like a pet
[ ] you growl/hiss at stuff you do not like
[ ] you like to eat grass (Buh?)
[ ] if you get wet, you shake to get rid of the water
Total: 1

Final total: 18

Take your score and multiply it by 2
Put your title as "I'm _% Furry"

Hey everyone!

My good friend is offering emergency commissions in order to get enough gas money to get to work!

Please consider picking up a commission from him!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3099709/

Meme time! Yay!
____________________________________________________________________________

ABOUT ME
____________________________________________________________________________

- Name: Amber
- Single or taken: Taken, married even.
- Sex: Female
- Birthday: January 29, 1986
- Sign: Aquarius
- Hair color: Naturally mousy brown, presently dark brown with blonde streaks.
- Eye color: Blue
- Height: 5'1''
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: Sapiosexual (though bisexual is pretty accurate)
____________________________________________________________________________

S P E C I F I C S
____________________________________________________________________________

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: Dove colour care.
- What are you listening to right now?: X Men cartoon series playing in the background.
- Who is the last person that called you?: My husband.
- How many buddies are online right now?: Six.
____________________________________________________________________________

F A V O R I T E S
____________________________________________________________________________

- Animal: Goats, lizards, and dogs.
- Color: Purple and black.
- Drink: Dr. Pepper or Coke.
- Element: Air.
- Food: Sushi, chicken vermicelli bowl.
- Game: Mario Party 8, Smallworld, and Munchkin
- Movie:
- Song:
- Subjects in school: English Language Arts and French Language Arts.
- T.V.: Sherlock, Futurama, Castle, and Big Bang Theory.
____________________________________________________________________________

H A V E | Y O U | E V E R
____________________________________________________________________________

- Given anyone a bath?: I’m the eldest of 4 kids and was a frequent babysitter, so yes.
- Smoked?: When I was 8, and it made me sick.
- Bungee jumped?: Nope, and not likely to.
- Made yourself throw up?: Oh ugh, never intentionally.
- Skinny dipped?: Haha, thankfully no.
- Ever been in love?: Yep, ask my husband.
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Not that I recall, but I’ve been told I did as a young child.
- Pictured your crush naked?: Who hasn’t?
- Actually seen your crush naked?: Haha! Yes, yes I have.
- Cried when someone died?: Lucky enough never to have had someone close to me die, but I’ve cried over pets.
- Lied: Not since I was a child, I don’t believe in dishonesty.
- Fallen for your best friend?: If you consider my husband my best friend, yes. The lady I call my best friend? Not so much. XD
- Used someone?: Nope, and I can’t respect people who use others.
- Done something you regret?: Everyone I know of has, I daresay.
____________________________________________________________________________

C U R R E N T
____________________________________________________________________________

- Clothes: At the moment? Plain black t-shirt and a pair of navy PJ pants with stars, candy canes, and ornaments on them.
- Desktop picture: Black background with an abstract floral pattern.
- CD in player: Do people still use CDs? XP
- DVD in player: Disc one of Futurama, Season Six.
____________________________________________________________________________

L A S T | P E R S O N
____________________________________________________________________________

- You touched: My husband.
- Hugged: My husband.
- You kissed: My husband. Huh, I see a trend. XP
- You IMed:
- Talk to online: and
- You sexed it up with: My husband, silly meme.
___________________________________________________________________________

A R E | Y O U
___________________________________________________________________________

- Understanding?: I like to think so.
- Open-minded?: Almost too much so.
- Arrogant?: I try to avoid it.
- Insecure?: More so than most know.
- Random?: Mermaid astronaut! =D
- Hungry?: Snackish, but not too hungry.
- Smart?: Smart-ass, maybe. *smirk*
- Moody?: Once in a while I am.
- Organized?: Once in a while.
- Shy?: Very much so.
- Difficult?: I can be, when I put my mind to it.
- Bored easily?: Well, yes.
- Entertained easily?: Yep, I can spend hours on trite amusements.
- Obsessed?: Haha, quite often, yes.
- Lazy?: I admit, I am at that.
- Angry?: Not for the most part, I’m relatively easygoing.
- Happy?: Most of the time, yes.
- Hyper?: In the right company, yes.
- Trusting?: I don’t trust people easily.
___________________________________________________________________________

R A N D O M
___________________________________________________________________________

- In the morning I: Wake up, grumble, set the alarm an hour later, and go back to sleep.
- Love is: The most pleasant of endorphin imbalances. X3
- I dream about: I don’t often dream, so I have no real basis.
- What do you notice first in the sex you're into: Their eyes and nose.
___________________________________________________________________________

W H O
___________________________________________________________________________

- Makes you laugh the most: My husband. (Wow, high level of trend, much?)
- Makes you smile: My husband, family, and friends.
- Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: Funny haha or funny weird? XP
___________________________________________________________________________

D O | Y O U | E V E R
___________________________________________________________________________

- Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: Not really.
- Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: Occasionally, but not for the common reasons.
- Wish you were younger?: I’m 25, I’m not exactly ancient.
- Cry because someone said something to you?: I used to, but not anymore.
___________________________________________________________________________

N U M B E R
___________________________________________________________________________

- Of times I have had my heart broken?: Once, as a much younger woman.
- Of Cd's I own: I don’t have many CDs, maybe 4 or 5?
- Of scars on my body: I lost track a long time ago. Lots.
- Of bones I've broken: None, thankfully.
____________________________________________________________________________

One of the artists I watched wanted the word spread about an event going on in Edmonton in May.

http://www.fureh.ca

Fur-Eh! It’s at the Edmonton Hilton Garden Inn on May 4th-6th

See link for further information.

That is all. =3

I've been seeing a lot of journals that are wishing 2011 good riddance, I just don't see things that way.

Overall I had a pretty spectacular year, so I'm simply wishing the year a fond farewell.

In 2011 I...

-Celebrated my two year wedding anniversary with my amazing husband.
-Finally learned what direction I want to take my life in as far as careers go.
-Travelled to another continent.
-Travelled to two new countries (Ireland and England).
-Mentored new arrivals to my department at work.
-Won awards for my performance at work.
-Saw several people I care about given well earned promotions.
-Had a safe and happy (albeit my being sick) Christmas with my husband.


So overall, things are doing well for me.

So, to 2011, fond regards!

Rant ahead, be warned.

Someone once said that Christmas was supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. Someone was full of shit.

I’m one of those who have kept in touch with the friends I made in high school. We’re not a big group, only about six of us, but we make the time in our lives to see one another. Some of us live further away, and up until now, we’ve honoured a small tradition for Christmas: coming together to have a nice meal in pleasant company and exchanging gifts.

Well, tradition landed right on its ass tonight.

And here I thought the drama in my family would be all I’d have to handle. Hell.

One of my friends lives a long ways away, about three to four hour worth of driving. We’ll call her Marcie. Because of this, the amount we get to see her and her husband (call him Ryan) has dropped off dramatically. Where we would once see one another on most weekends, we now see one another as a group maybe once or twice per year. I see her a little more often than the rest of our small group does, but even so, the number of times we’ve seen one another this year is maybe five. And this is only due to two weddings in the year.

For the past month, we’ve been planning our Christmas gathering, planning out who would bring what dish for the potluck, how we would do the gift exchange, etc. The date has been cemented for a while, and everyone had arranged their scheduled around showing up for the event. For my part, issue comes up in the fact that my work hours are about as random as a Douglas Adams thought process, but even so, I managed to plan out going. And I was, go figure, looking forward to the assembly of peers.

Marcie and Ryan had already made the long drive up to our city, and were staying with mutual friends.

Tonight was the planned night, and rather last minute, we heard a few more people would be coming. Our usual group, including significant others, is around nine or ten people. Well, the number increased to fourteen, and this is where shit hit the fan…

Ryan decided tonight (about half an hour before the event was slated to begin) that he was “not in the right state of mind to deal with that many people” and outright refused to attend. We offered several solutions, including hanging around him exclusively in order to ease any social distress. We were immediately shot down. My husband offered to drive even just Marcie down, and let it be noted that we never heard Ryan even make this offer, as he excused himself tersely from further discussion and hung up.

Let’s recap, where does this leave us?

Well, two of the people we had taken into special account for this event are no longer attending because, to paraphrase, they “don’t wanna.” Wow, how terribly mature of you both. Now you’re disappointing the entire group of people looking forward to seeing you and lacing the air of the whole event with resentment. Awesome.

I state my annoyance to the “don’t wanna” with an (I’ll admit snarky) reply of “that’s a weak ass excuse.”

Marcie texts me saying that she “isn’t going to discuss this over text” and I retort with a pointed, “Well, you’re sure as Hell not doing so in person.”

I’m then informed that I “can be pissed then.”

Why thank you so much! I totally wanted your approval to be annoyed with your childish and selfish behavior! Of course I’m not vindicated simply by benefit of sucking it up and acting like a real adult! For crap’s sake...

Let’s also mention that our hostess had heard about none of this (changed cell numbers or something) and it was left to me to explain why the friend who usually carpools with me isn’t coming. This left our hostess upset, because she had put a ton of work into the whole evening, and was told that her friends would rather stand up her efforts than be bothered to show up.

I don’t reply to the text, knowing that my responses will get truly unpleasant if I continue in my present state of mind. I resign myself to the fact that one of my best friends has ditched out on a once a year event and proceed to enjoy the Hell out of the party.

For an hour, anyways…

I notice after a moment that my phone is buzzing, and unlock it to find I’ve been sent a voicemail. I notice that Ryan is the one that sent it, and sigh before listening.

Just what I needed, blame for Marcie now bawling in a bathroom! Three minutes worth of Ryan’s voice bitterly going on about how I “should be proud” of myself, and that I “should be more understanding.” The remainder of the message contained personal information I won’t repeat, as I have respect for the speaker’s privacy. In short, apparently Marcie wanted to go, and I was only making her feel bad.

Really? Firsty, from my perspective (and that of the friends who bothered to show up), I’m not the one who made a royal fuckery of the evening, and we at least presented options instead of shooting every damn option down. Secondly, she should only feel bad and be crying if she knew what the impact of her absence would be. Don’t blame me for her being upset, I conveyed the group attitude. How she took it was not my doing.

I conveyed the content of the voicemail to those who deserved it, and heard from our hostess the message of, “Well good, she should feel bad. I worked hard on tonight!”

Even though I was also originally less than jazzed for the party myself, I still sucked it up and went, at the very least. And guess what? I actually enjoyed myself! How novel!

And yeah, I’m still pissed at them leaving us hanging. I don’t see either of them enough for this kind of shit to fly. I’m annoyed as Hell that a negative attitude and outlook cost us some valuable face time with people we care about.

Merry fucking Christmas...

Rules:
You must answer everything truthfully or whoever you got this from can slap you in the face. Unless, y'know, you're good at lying. No embarrassed/laughing/otherwise emoticons allowed! No explaining or elaborating! Just your answer, in as few words as possible!
Also, we know everyone masturbates and everyone has embarrassing designs on their underwear. Don't lie to us. OK, GO GO GO!

What color are your underwear?
Blue, black, and white.

Do they have a design?
Yes, black and white stars on a blue background.

Girls, what color is your bra?
Black.

Is there a design?
Nope.

Are you a virgin?
Nope.

Happy that way?
I’d say so, I’m not exactly embarrassed about my past in that sense.

What is your favorite sex position?
I like doggy style, myself. Though I’m also partial to scissoring.

What is your sexuality/sexual orientation/What the fuck do you consider yourself?
I’m a sapiosexual, to use a term, someone attracted to intelligence. I’ve also considered myself bisexual and pansexual at various times. I don’t see people in a corporeal sense, I’ve always been attracted to minds, the body is secondary at best. Intellect is probably one of my biggest weaknesses in the sense of what attracts me.

Do you look at hentai (cartoon porn)?
I have, though I don’t really get a charge out of it.

Real porn?
Sometimes, but I don’t really find it stimulating.

Do you read smutty/porn stories?
Yes, and I also write them. This said, I really don’t like stories that are all sex, no soul, if that makes sense. I need to be able to find the characters engaging, to be attracted by at least one of them in order to find the story interesting or stimulating.

Do you read/watch/look at gay porn/hentai/stories?
I prefer lesbian content to male on male content, which will surprise no one. I quite enjoy girl on girl sexual content, though once in a while a good male on male story will catch my attention.

Who was your first kiss with?
The smart ass response is “my mother” but the first real one (beyond childhood) was with a girl named Lindsay.

Are they of the opposite sex?
Nope, we’re both of the lady variety.

Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Yes on both counts. I thought I was a lesbian until meeting my first serious boyfriend (who had been gay until that point, for what it matters).

Is there any one of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with?
Yes, there are a few. However, I wouldn’t jeopardize relationships that work how they are.

What would you do if you walked in on your partner having sex?
I’d be surprised, initially. Though I can’t say I’d be bothered, I’m not terribly jealous. Unless invited to join, I’d leave him to his business, as odd as it sounds.

Do you have any piercings other than your ears?
Yep.

If so, where?
I have had my tongue pierced since I was 18. And my ears are pierced three times each, if that’s relevant.

Do you have any tattoos?
Not at the moment, but I’m looking into a couple of options.

If so, where?
Not applicable at the moment.

Have you ever been pregnant/got a girl pregnant?
Nope, I’ve never been pregnant, and I can’t really impregnate a woman, as I am one.

Ever done any illegal drugs?
Nope, though I’ve been tempted to try marijuana. I know multiple people who could locate such things for me, and I’ve been around “special brownies” at least once. However, I’ve come to the conclusion that my husband’s respect means more to me than a curiosity about trying pot.

Have you ever cheated on someone?
I’ve been in a couple of open relationships, but I’ve never betrayed the confidence of a closed one.

Ever been cheated on?
My first serious boyfriend cheated on me at least once. For me, it’s not exactly a deal breaker, so I didn’t think too much about it.

Have you ever been called a whore/slut?
Not to my knowledge, at least not seriously.

Do you own any sex toys?
Yes, several.

Have you ever had a sexual fantasy involving a relative?
Uh. Ew. No. I only like fictional incest. And even then it's highly specific.

Have you ever masturbated?
Well, yes. I knew relatively few people who haven’t.

Have you ever taken a naked picture of yourself?
Despite being less than pleased with my physical appearance, yes.

Have you ever taken a naked picture of someone else?
Ha ha! No, I have not.

Are you on any form of birth control(the pill, the patch, etc)?
Not myself, though my husband had a vasectomy about two years back.

Have you ever written/drawn smut/porn?
I’ve both written and drawn porn in the past. I also believe I shall do the same in the future.

Do you swear in front of your parents?
*snerk* Yes, yes I do. However, not nearly as often as my mother does in front of me.

Do they care?
Not specifically. They both swear a fair bit, and I’m an adult.

Are you uncomfortable yet?
Not really, this hasn’t been anything I wouldn’t fess up to anyways if asked.

Are you taking this quiz of your own free will?
Yep, I yanked it from ’s journal. I like memes!

Tag some bitches and bug them until they take this!
I don’t feel like tagging any bitches. Though feel free to tag yourself, if you like.