So a friend of mine is looking for new peoples to draw for! She just got her paypal account all set up and everything! She is really amazing and she does all different type of stuffs! You should go and get some from her.

HERE is her pricelist
Go watch  kitsunewaffles-chan because I said so!

Asidenote:
I will be making a move to a new account here soon! Keep that in mind! Which means any requests or stuff I haven't finished will be moved to THAT account! This account will not be (at this time) abandonded, however, PoePanther issa CHARACTER Not who I am. This will simply make things easier on me. I'll probably use this for my 'mature' and 'watching you' place.

It's now MY year BITCHES! That's right! Salute Year of the Dragon! FTW! (and that's FUCK THE WHAT! btw) So I haven't been on for the last two nights...wonder why? I bet you wanna hear ALL about THIS!
I went to a party! That right...well actually, I am the party!
By that I mean they were bored and then I showed up and the party began and I actually got called being asked 'Mel?!? Where are you?! We neeeeeed you!!!'
That right because there ain't no party without this! *pose*
I drank so much I woke up still drunk! Didn't stop till 5am (when I fell asleep) and woke up at around 1pm and went to 'breakfast' at Denny's, which was awesome.
I PROMISE! I didn't drive until I completly sobered up...which didn't happen until 5pm...I didn't drive until it was 8pm xD
We had tons of fun! Played rockband, drank drinks, watched balls drop outta the sky, and Lady Gaga's ugly dress on the big screen tv!
Then I got to FINALLY play drunken Jinga! My silly friend! There's on block that says 'Make a Rule'.
Her rule? 'OH! I know! Every time it's Mel's turn, we all have to take a drink!'
FUCK!
It's cool though, she knocked the blocks down 4 turns later and had to CHUG!
It was sooo much fun.
I know...TECHNICALLY the year of the dragon doesn't start until the END of February, however, I'm a dragon!
My friend was the year of the Rabbit! I'm the year of the Dragon! So I hugged him and gave him a kiss! (friendly kiss on the check).
It was soooo much fun! If ya'll come to AK at some point, lemme know and I'll see if we're doing anything going on and maybe you'll get to enjoy this bartender's skills!

Hope this new year treats you all well and my golden year shines down upon all of your heads with a joy and happiness that will rock the very world to it's core! Then the world as we know it will cease to exist and a NEW golden age of love, health, and happieness.
And THAT my friend...that is how the world will end! =^ ^= So a new one can begin!

So I am doing an Art Trade (WOOT! SECOND ONE!) With miss  kamduisravenpaw who designs wonderful fractal images! I'm getting one with Black, Purple and Green colors in it!
In exchange I am going to do her character Kamudis as a feral chibi!
Should be a lot of fun and she's willing to trade with a lot of different people so go HERE and let her know you'd like to trade!
BeeArtsy

ALL | ABOUT | ME
____________________________________________________________________________

- Name: Mel/Sam/Bee White
- Single or taken: Single
- Sex: Female
- Birthday: 06 November
- Sign: Scorpio
- Hair color: naturally brown, right now? red!
- Eye color: hazel
- Height: 5'5
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: I'm not bi, I'm just half guy!
____________________________________________________________________________

S P E C I F I C S
____________________________________________________________________________

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: Tea Tree
- What are you listening to right now?: Nightmare Before Christmas Poem
- Who is the last person that called you?: my ex >.< I ignored it
- How many buddies are online right now?: 3+7
____________________________________________________________________________

F A V O R I T E S
____________________________________________________________________________

- Animal: dragon/cats/dogs/horses...and more but in that order! XD
- Color: purple, green, and black
- Drink: dr. pepper!
- Element: all, fire, water, earth, air, spirit
- Food: steak, lobster, crab
- Game: Left 4 Dead / 2
- Movie: Nightmare Before Christmas and The Lion King
- Song: NO! I can't tell you! >.< it's a secret...T-T
- Subjects in school: Anatomy
- # The Walking Dead, Dr. G Medical Examiner
____________________________________________________________________________

H A V E | Y O U | E V E R
____________________________________________________________________________

- Given anyone a bath?: Yes, little sis (I was 7 when she was born)
- Smoked?: cigaretts? Yes, but I quit. cigars? 1-4 a year. pot? RARELY
- Bungee jumped?: not gunna risk a face like this!
- Made yourself throw up?: eh...yes
- Skinny dipped?: nope I chunky dunk!
- Ever been in love?: yes, a few times...
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: xD most kids do!
- Pictured your crush naked?: I picture a lot of people naked
- Actually seen your crush naked?: I've seen a number of people naked
- Cried when someone died?: ...I don't think this even deserves an answer
- Lied: me?!? NEVER!
- Fallen for your best friend?: well...yeah
- Used someone?: I have...for sex...but on that note, he was using me too
- Done something you regret?: who hasn't?
____________________________________________________________________________

C U R R E N T
____________________________________________________________________________

- Clothes: Click Me To See
- Desktop picture: Click To See
- CD in player: Rain Storm
- DVD in player: Nightmare Before Christmas
____________________________________________________________________________

L A S T | P E R S O N
____________________________________________________________________________

- You touched: My lil sis *pokes her again*
- Hugged: my lil sis *wishes her good night*
- You kissed: ...*coughes* those that adopted me and left last month v.v
- You IMed: Kanis? Subito? Mello? NullPointer? I dun remember, one of those 4
- Talk to online: Subito and Grand Cam from xbox live
- You sexed it up with: um xD those that adopted me and then left last month >.<
___________________________________________________________________________

A R E | Y O U
___________________________________________________________________________

- Understanding?: I try to be, yes
- Open-minded?: to a point
- Arrogant?: I try not to be that way
- Insecure?: sometimes
- Random?: me?!? I am no-oo shiney! what?
- Hungry?: full
- Smart?: depends on the subject
- Moody?: I'm a girl...it happens
- Organized?: an organized mess
- Shy?: only when things geet to an 'intimate' point >///<
- Difficult?: depends...
- Bored easily?: xD unfortunately!
- Entertained easily?: absolutely!
- Obsessed?: obsessive compulsive at times...
- Lazy?: give me my chair!
- Angry?: um...only if you give me a reason to be
- Happy?: absolutely!
- Hyper?: xD sometimes
- Trusting?: I try to be...but cautiously so
___________________________________________________________________________

R A N D O M
___________________________________________________________________________

- In the morning I: go to bed
- Love is: in everything you do
- I dream about: totally weird shit man!
- What do you notice first in the sex you're into: they way they look at me
___________________________________________________________________________

W H O
___________________________________________________________________________

- Makes you laugh the most: my little sister
- Makes you smile: the ones I love
- Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: a few people...and not always in a good way...
___________________________________________________________________________

D O | Y O U | E V E R
___________________________________________________________________________

- Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: ...v.v not anymore
- Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: I wish I could pee standing up?
- Wish you were younger?: not really just wish I could change a few things
- Cry because someone said something to you?: it's happened, sometimes good, sometimes not
___________________________________________________________________________

N U M B E R
___________________________________________________________________________

- Of times I have had my heart broken?: a few...3-5 times...I don't feel like revisiting them all
- Of Cd's I own: a lot! um...40? 50? xD
- Of scars on my body: urg! a lot of small one! I was a rowdy child
- Of bones I've broken: 0. My Dr however sawed my right tibial bone at the ankle

The people I'm gonna tag are:

EVERYONE! YOU'RE ALL IT! BWAHAHAHAHA *runs away with troll face*

I had an extreemly detailed dream last night. Like most dreams, I seemed to be ploped right in the middle of it.
My family is apparently rather rich, and I'm kind of like an 'oddball' (ooo how original). We are taking a vacation out on this beautiful island and I meet this guy. His very handsome and has a very light brown hair and these grey blue eyes, they are so pretty. He's pretty tall and has a nice tan and so I start spending most of my vacation tme with him because, frankly, I'm tired of my mom, dad, and younger brother. My dad mom and brother all have dark black hair while mine is only a dark brown, father and brother have dark brown eyes me and mom have more of a golden amber.
Anyways, as the summer moves on, and I spend more time with this guy, one day we get attacked by some large fur-covered animal. I have no idea what's going on any more than the guy does and we run off and hide in one of the many shacks on the beach when I'm grabbed by one of the 'help'. He has really dark brown hair and shit-brown eyes. I often tell him he's full of shit just because of it after this meeting. He's not a bad looking guy, he doesn't look to be all that much younger than my own parents.
He tell us to be quiet and we hide under some not so recently cleaned fishing nets. I apparently hate the smell of fish and have to keep a sneeze under wraps while this beast tares through one shack then the next. But after a while it seems to get frustrated and runs off. The 'Help' tells me to take my friend home and he'll talk to me when I get back, and we HAVE to talk, so be quick.
So I grab my hotties hand and get him home and give him a kiss, and he tastes satly, like the beach, but warm...and candy. Like one of my favorite kinds of candy. I think it's tuttie fruitie, but I'm not sure...it's those multi-colored candycanes.
ANyways! So I get back in the area of our beach house and Mr. Help (since I don't remember any names except one) comes up and grabs me by the arm and drags me off in the direction of the caves (which remarkably remind me of Resident Evil 5's). HE sits me down and asks me what I know about my family and I almost wanna hit him! As though I'd ever tell him about my family!
Then he spills the beans "I know you're not human, none of you are, hell I'm not human myself!" and he pulls of his cap which has been covering up his hair since I got back and instead of his hair, it's like...tentacles, the length of his hair and each is a dark brown and has a white stripe around the tip...
Most people might be freaked out by this, but I roll my eyes and then 'power-up' and my hair does the same thing. "It's not impressive, all my family can do it. You don't live x-amount of years with people and not know a thing or two about yourself and them, even if you don't talk about them."
That's when he hits me with it, "That's fine but I know who your real dad is," and he lights up a cigarett.
Now I'm pissed. "My dad is my dad! And don't try none of that fairy tale bull crap with me!"
That's when sombody else walks into the cave, he's standing up on the catwalk above us, "Oh don't worry sis, dad already informed about the fact that you weren't his, so wo is it?" he sneers down at bout of us. I'm just stunned while the guy is smirking and brother is leering at me like some kind of know-it-all.
They start bantering back and forth until I scream at them to shut up, "What do you mean dad isn't my dad?!"
My brother starts going on and on about all our differences (btw, his normally stringy black hair is now tentacles like ours right now) and then he goes "But there's one major difference between us and you sis...and mom." then he jumps over the railing and turns, you guessed it, into a werewolf.
But, see, since we're all part demon anyways, he's a DEMONIC werewolf, that's why we have the tentacles, we're demons. He's a large black werewolf with fur and tentacles down his spine and on his head and a few around his neck and he's got spikes as well.
I knew werewolves were real, I just hadn't expected them in my house. So I get grabbed by Mr. Help dude and dragged out of the tunnles somehow. It took a long while and we had to dodge my brother along the way. When we're out he tells me that at some point I'll have to get bit by him and survive so I can get the werewolf powers, but not tonight. I'm just thinking he's FRIGGING INSANE! We get out and we're fine and I get taken home. Bro won't attack me there because mom'll have a conniption fit!

Then we seem to skip a 'scene' and it's that winter and we're back at school. I go to collage, little bro is still at high school. I've learned more about my family. Mom's sister married a vampire, mom married a werewolf, so I have a cousin who's a vampire and has two little vampire children of her own. Very cute, do NOT cuddle them both at the same time however! The little boy is 3 and his sis was born exactly (to the date) one year after him, they are extrodinarly intelligent, and they have a voracious appitite. Anyways, they don't show up for a little bit. Also, my father is a pure werewolf, so demonic werewolf spaw = awesomesauce for him. The fact that I'm a 'high demon' rather than a 'weredemon' has super pissed him off. Apparently all of his kids should have been werewolves. That's how he knows I'm not his. Damn.
Turns out Mr. Help isn't my daddy THANK GOD! He's my bio-dad's brother..so he's my uncle? Weird guy. We get trapped in a car one night with brother trying to attack and we protect the car with...cards? Wtf?!? Just regular bicycle cards! Ok so apparently they are magical, but still...it looks retarded sticking them to the vehical. But they work. Dad was watching this time. He's angry. I'm not really his kid, I can kinda sympathize, but to me, he's always been my dad. Not this mysterious dude who's nowhere when his kid needs him.
Anyways, so we make it through, my uncle's telling me I need to get bit by my brother and my niece or nephew! Wait why? Because apparently they want all the powers under one house...fragnation! I am not some science project! Well, apparently that's where I'm wrong! This is why I was allowed to be born in the first place, so that I could bring the big powers under one roof.
Grand.
So I 'skip scean' again and I'm at a party at someone's house. My cousin's there, in the background, and it's a really nice party, and she has her kids, she's teaching them to hunt. I don't care as long as she doesn't go after anybody who'll be missed. She doesn't. Nobody liks Susan anyways, even her parents don't. But she's a nice girl and she picks up the kids to take them back to their mom, which is out of sight of everyone when they attack. Some people are just rediculously trusting. Then we have to help clean up the house. This is about the time I wake up.

Make a good story maybe? Maybe I just watch too many monster movies...

I shall:

1. Tell you something I'll learn about you by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what Pokemon you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you, and your answer has to be as vague as possible to keep the suspense.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Give you a weird nickname
8. Tell you what's on my shirt right now.
9. Challenge you to post this on your journal


As taken from

looked like fun

What flockin happened to me last night!
So yesterday for me was pretty mixed with the good/bad.
Started off with me getting woken up at the ungodly hour of 130pm (I work nights people) by some guy who wanted to sell me his cold meat from his 'car' and wanted to know if I was 'alone' *rolls eyes* ok, it wasn't exactly as bad as it sounded, he was legit and shit, and I'd met him before, but the way he came off...yeah, anyways.
So I decided that 'well, since I am up!' I went down to the local bar to talk to the owner-lady there (she knows my parents pretty well x| ) and so I figured I could go through her to get my TAM card (which is the license to sell tobacco and alcohal). She was SUPPOSED to be there, but, of course, she wasn't. So I left her a note, asking her to either get in touch with me the next time she was in, or I'd see her on monday.
Little did I realize until I'd already left...1) I forgot to leave my # DOH! and 2) I work monday from 630am-230pm (UGH! Kill me NOW!), but whatever, that's cool, I'll just go right after work.
Then my friend called me up and invited me to have lunch with her and her friend, and I'm like 'pizza? FLOCK YEAH I'm soooo there!'.
It was a nice little 'pick-me' up. They paid for it, and I drove, works for me. Then we picked up their other friend and BSed at Barns & Noble (where I finally found a NEW Tarot deck to replace my old one which somebody decided 'ooo toy!' and lost 3 of my cards and it wouldn't speak to me after that. First deck in forever that I picked up and felt a TINGLY sensation all through my arms and chest! I am soooo happy!) until our movie was about to start (which we missed that one so had to go see it in 3D...which I don't mind but the price is OUTRAGEOUS!) But it was pretty good, I'll admit, almost didn't go and see it...because 15$ is OUTAGEOUS! it was only 13 because it was still matinee, but still. (movie started at 5pm, that's important for later)
Anyways, after that, went and hung out at my friends place, I broke in my new deck (forgot how draining a few good reads can be when you're out of practice) took the other guys home, then decided 'well, I need to get some gas' (it's 930pm by this time btw).
So I drive down to my local favorite new gas station.
Their new systems are a bit buggy, and sometimes they will reject a visa/mastercard (all randomly of course) so I go inside, give them my ID and they turn on the pump and I fill up. Go back inside to pay with my visa card 'Transaction Not Completed'.....
..............................
w-WHAT?!?
Ok, no biggy, maybe I just over drew, try credit instead of debit 'Transaction Not Completed'
.........*thump*thump*......
Ok, maybe my check to the student loans went through and I ACCIDENTLY overdrafted my checking account, no biggy, I'll run inside Carrs (btw that's Safeway up here) and use their ATM and shift money around. 'Transaction Not Completed'
.......................
OK SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FLOCK PEOPLE!??
Ok, breath, maybe they had some questions and suspended my card, I've only got 31$ in cash, and the tab is $36, 5 dollars, that's it. That's all I frigging need, but of course, all the banks are closed. So I call up the number on the back.
"I'm sorry, we have it that you reported your card missing without a pin and had it cancled"
.....WHAT?!? When did this happen? I just used it TWICE today!
"It says at 502pm."
...<.<; Ok, you have to be kidding me right?
"No ma'am"
I was in a MOVIE at 5pm! I haven't been to the bank since WEDNESDAY to drop of my check, like I do EVERY wednesday!
"Are you sure?"
......
"I don't know what to tell you, ma'am, let me get a supervisor"
-I need a drink at this point...but HAHA! I don't have any money to get that now do I?!?-
"Ma'am? I have it here that your card has been terminated. Your balance is *right, the only thing that is*"
Well at least they didn't CLOSE OUT my damn banking account. What the HELL am I supposed to do now?!? I need 5$! I have the money but you're telling me that I have to wait until tomorrow to get anything out of MY account because SOMEBODY THAT OBVIOUSLY WASN'T FLOCKING ME TERMINATED MY FLOCKING CARD?!? *huff*huff*huff* (ok I didn't actually shout, but I was damn near it! anybody who knows me irl will tell you I'm HARD to piss off, and most of the rest of the time I'm just KIDDING!)
"We can't reopen a card that's been terminated. If you'd like, we can always reisshue you another one?"
Well YEAH if you could. I really kind of NEED that damn little piece of plastic! -at this point I want a shot...and not just of tequilla...more like...BUCKSHOT! to someone's face right about now-
"Alright, you'll get that in 5-7 buisness days. Would you like for me to inquire as to who turned it off?"
What do you think barbie? YES! I would LOVE to know what FLOCKING moron turned off my card (now, just so you know, there are infact TWO people that live here in Anchorage, with my EXACT name. Me and some other lady born 5 years before me, so this is my first and most IMMEDIATE thought, she lost HER card, and somehow they thought it was ME...going...to...KILL!)
"Ok, we can't find out till Monday -OF COURSE YOU CAN'T!- but we'll let you know by the end of monday what's happened"
Thanks...for NOTHING!

Ok, so yeah, I'm raging and like FREAKING OUT because this? THIS NEVER! EVER! EVEREVEREVERVERNEVEREVER! happens to ME! I have never skipped out on a bill, not once, at least not on purpose! Fortunately, this is a Carrs store that I've worked at before (as a security guard) and I have gotten pretty friendly with a lot of people there. So my mind is "ASK SOMEONE HERE FOR 5$ and I can pay them back TOMORROW! when the BANK opens up!". yaaay!

So long story short, the guy running the gas island wanted to leave on time, and loaned me the 5$ I'm going back tomorrow to pay him back and pull out some cash.

It totally eclipsed my day and made me feel like a flocking idiot/fool. I'm so embarassed and it wasn't even my own fault! I did nothing wrong! But yeah...that was my day yesterday...-.-;

So my friend sometimes puts up these really weird things on Face Book...but I actually liked this

Everyone has 8 names-
Your Real Name: Mel*- White
Your "Gangsta" Name: (first 3 letters of your real name plus -izzle): Melizzle
Your Detective Name (favorite color & favorite animal): Purple Dragon
Your Soap Opera Name (street you live on & middle name): Chaimi Ann
Your Star Wars Name (first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your middle name): WhiAn
Your Superhero Name (2nd favorite color & favorite drink): Blue Pepper
Your Witness Protection Name (your Mothers middle name): Annett
Your Goth Name (black & the name of one of your pets): Black Tonks

I like my names! o.o

This is a message to all artists. Today there was a great loss in the world of dragons, science fiction, fantasy, and writing world in general. We have lost a great figure piece. Today, we have lost Anne McCaffrey. I would like now to share with you this beautiful OBITUARY written about her by a Charlie Jane Anders.

I am coming to you, artists, because I would like to start of a memorial collaboration in the memory of Anne McCaffrey. For those of you who know her works, and even for those of you who don't, she did much to change the way people think about themselves, and she was a great inspiration to many people, myself the least I could include upon that list.
My goal is to get as many artist to donate a little of their time to this, each one drawing his or herself as a dragon and keening to the skies with me, in true Pernian dragon style, and even if you are not a dragon, or would like to pose as something else, you are MORE than welcome to mourn with us.
I would like to get as many people involved as possible, each drawing themselves and signing it before sending it back to me to send on to the next person. When it is done, I want to send it to Todd McCaffrey, her son.

I want you to be aware that I am not offering money for you to put your name on this list, and for some of you that will be a deciding factor, and that is FINE! Please do not feel OBLIGATED to do this, because then it will not be the piece I would like it to be. If you are not interested in donating your time to put yourself in, I only ask for one moment. I ask you to put this in a journal so that perhaps other people who watch you might become interested and donate their time.

Please contact me, PoePanther, through a note here, e-mail, or msn, if you are interested.

I will, however, try to scrounge up some money for someone who would like to make the background for the piece. When it becomes full, we will simply start over with a new page.

I thank you for your time, and if nothing else, take a moment of silence for this fallen, beautiful lady.
BeeArtsy

Yes, most (if not all) of you got this. I sent it to some 57 people, I do not know how many (if ANY) will responde. I do not care if you are good at drawing, it is the thought that counts here. I do not expect anybody to go super crazy-fine-detaile and everything for this, I just would like SOMETHING, even if all it is is a signiture. But don't do it, if you don't mean it.

My Part - Updated 29/11/2011

So...a LOT of my friends have pokesona's
I do not
Which is weird to me because I as such a fan of pokeman's when I was younger (and not much younger)
So I took a test and this is what I got:
Vulpix 100%
Persian 88%
Mewtwo 88%
Gengar 88%
Snorlax 75%
Tyranitar 63%
Charizard 63%

I'd like your help to figure out what I should be. I know it says 'vulpix' but I'm not the type of person to burn others just because I can! Although I have a firey soul I'm also watery, soothing, patient, and when you get my anger it's more like a hurrican, bulding, visible, you can run away at any time, but you stupidly stand in the full face of it all as it rips up buildings and other such things...lmao. What you all think?

edit: so I took the quiz HERE

So...I think I'm a little too hard on myself sometimes. Especially when it comes to my art.
They do turn out alright, even by my standards that I use for other people.
The PROBLEM is
I SEE what I want them to be, but I have no IDEA how to make them work out! I used to be really good at hands, but since I haven't draw in so long, they now come out looking defored to me, I can't seem to get the angles right either, so that a tilted front view looks askew!
See? It's good, and I would never put anyone else down about their artwork, because I know how that feels!
URRRRGH!
Ok I think I'm done with the semi-rant xD

Yeah, if you hadn't guessed, gave up the sleep of geniuses....I just don't get to nap at work as much as I used to so yeah...le sigh. But it was an interesting test!
I got root canal finally. The first tried failed, I flipped out and nearly attacked the dentist (with my tears >.>).
Dentists are evil.
But it wasn't as bad as I'd thought it'd be...drugs help.
Still on drugs, got my build up done...next project! Next root canal! in January >.>;
Fuck me sideways from sunday!
No, litterally! I need someone to.
I had my first truely erotic dream the other night. I don't know why I was dreaming of a vampire, and why the guy I barely know (but spent a night with) was in it (nor why HE was the vampire). But it was damn hot.
HEY! When I dream erotica, it does NOT have sparkly little GAYPIRES in it!
This was more like Lestat...dreamboat vamp. mmmm.
I have not watched any vampire movies in a almost a year however, except Vampires Suck and that was back when it came out!
And when I dream they are....VIVID! <.<=>.> vivid...*coughes* I've never woken up THAT hot before....
ANYWAYS! Drugs are good when you take one and you're on your ass...alchoal? I can chug it. gimmie a vicoden and it's lights out kitty kat! w00t!

I have noticed something of late. I have many 'unhappy' friends out there. Sometimes it's relationships, sometimes family, but most often there's this hidden factor. It's themselves.
I write this in hopes that perhaps I might help someone, somewhere, out there, who's watching.
I want to say this:

Through my short life of barely twenty-three years, I have had several long-term relationships. The shortest being one month, the longest three years, and in between most have lasted at least one or two years.
We have all at one point or another heard the saying:
"It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

This is a painful expression for most of us, and many will say "you're full of shit".
I dissagree.
I want you to stop and truely think about this question:
Would you rather have never had this experince in your life at all? How much of a difference would it make in th person you have become today? Would you be better off? Truely?

Love is a wonderful, painful, and often times confusing thing. Sometimes it sneaks up on you like a theif and suddenly you realize it, sometimes too late. Sometimes it's right there, upfront, and all over you like a hive of angry bees. This applies not just to your personal special someone, but to family as well.
I do say this, for myself: I would not give up one of my past relationships, no matter how painful they may have been. Every single one of them has shaped me into the person I have become today.
I love all my family, but not necessarily everything they do. I have loved utterly and completly every single boyfriend or girlfriend that I have had, unconditionally, fully, and I don't regret that in the slightest. People are bound to always drive you crazy, especially when you spend so much time with them, but there is a key into being happy no matter what may come your way.

These are powerful words to tell yourself. They are hard to live by, but when you do, you will understand:
I. Want. To. Be. Happy.
I want to be happy.
I WILL be happy.
I will be happy with the person I am no matter how I may look or act or strange I may seem to others. I will hide nothing and I am not ashamed to admit my defects or my quirks. They define the person I have become in my life. And that person is me, whom I love without question, condition, and utterly.

I want you all to you look at yourselves in the mirror. Look deep into your own eyes and tell yourself:
I love you.
Be happy.

Nobody will ever be as good at being you as you are. There has never been anyone like you nor will there ever be again, so be proud, be happy, and say "No matter what, I love myself. I am happy."

You're all strong inside, all you have to do is dig deep and grab onto it with both hands. You can do it, all of you. I know because I did. Anything I can do, you can do, too!

Also, one more thing if you've kept up thus far: We all fall down sometimes, you don't have to be too proud to ask for help.

When nobody is there, when nobody cares, when nobody loves you and nobody will be there for you, just remember:
I am Nobody! =^ ^=

Not only has this weekend been a real FLOP of a 4-day weekend, in which only ONE of my plans actually came to fruition, and even that was marred by the fact that someone was a bitch and someone didn't call, and it just didn't seem to work out at all.
On top of failed plans and a booty call FAIL, I also ended up getting some horrible news.

Last weeked I'd found out my grandmother had a siezure. She could not speak, and only machines we're keeping her alive. She refused to accept a feeding tube, though she could not eat normally.

This morning I found out that last night she passed away.

I am saying this so that if people are wondering why I can't keep up with a conversation or seem down, this is why, so that you don't have to ask why.
I'm not happy, obviously, but at the same time, I can't really feel anything. I didn't say anything because my grandmother was always one tough bird and has pulled through some very horrible things and come out alright.
It's ok to give your condolences, but I'd really just rather not talk about it honestly, so don't delve, you didn't know her, and that's ok, all I'm asking for is some respects to my feelings, that's it.

I have 2 weeks to either get to Cali for the funeral, or to get myself piss-ass drunk with some friends up here in AK on the 10th. It will more than likely be the latter.
Thank you for understanding my feelings.
Mel

It rained today...it was a good thing. Rain makes me feel more at peace with myself and the world about me.
I am dealing with some hard things at heart these days, and I'm not reacting yet. Please don't ask, I'll say it when I'm ready.
Poe's Origin Story Ch. 2 is in the works though! It will be longer than Ch. 1 and less gory, maybe, but that's why it's taking so long...and I've been put on at work rather hard.

YAY! So, first installment of Poe's story has been put up! Tell me what you think? Any good? Should I keep writin or get the hell out of dodge before the raging mob comes after me? More blood and guts to come if you like it at all!
...
Leave coments when you read it please? and if you're mean or rude you'll get blocked and will never get to talk to me again! so sadness
Love you all
Crazy Talk
yay

So I was off...by a couple days!
I know that the pictures were taken with my crappy phone and poor lighting, but at least I got 14 of them up. No, it's nto everything, but it is most and it does show the time periods pretty good. I think some of the dates were wrong, but I'll fix that later if I can remember when I was doing anything. As you can tell, as I progressed through highschool, I drew less and less. What I can't show you is the cup art that I did at school.
I would drink cappichino's from our school in the morning, and they were pretty good, definetly worth the 50 cents! It came in styrofoam cups, and when I was done with my coffee, I'd rinse the cups off and draw on them. I sold several throughout the school year. People would by me coffee and pay extra to get me to do the art for them. I made something close to 23 cups for people, and each sold for $2.50. Isn't that cool? It's because I could do the art without breaking the cups. People liked them and bought them and then their friends would want one too. So that was my lunch money through freshman year.
Then there's the other art that went mysteriously missing...I have no clue where it went or where it may have ended up except that it's not where I kept the rest of my art. But what can you do?

Anyways! Now I am working on a story! It's Poe's Story! It'll be exciting and filled with blood and gore and emotional feeling-ness. Will you understand Poe at the end of it? Who knows! I highly doubt it. She's my character and I barely understand her half the time!

So! Yeah...WOO!
So I went to the Papa Roach concert last night with 5 of my friends! You wanna know how it was? Yes...of course you do! PAPA ROACH IS THE SHIT! He tore his pants off and threw them into the crowd at the end of it. He's hawt. Yes. I wish I had pictures to show off, but I don't, but just trust me! We we're at the chilkoots party and it was outdoors and we hung out at the back of the 21+ area and we were still throwing a party. It was fun. And crazy! It was me, my gay friend, my bi friend, her bf (that she ended up breaking up with at the party) and then my straight couple friends...despite the fiasco (and that I'm still playing mediator and heart-mendor) IT WAS FUCKInG SPECTACULAR! w00t!
The only down side to this whole damn thing is that NOW my friends ex just wants to talk to me to try and feel better about the whole thing and it was just a really...bah I don't even know how to go all on about it!
Anyways, it was good and afterwords we went to the castle and most of us got something and it was fun. I got a corset...a sexy corset =~.^= No pics of that sorry!

Ahh...now my day of can truely begin! I had to work 3-9 this morning then hung out with a friend for a while. >3~ It was fun. Anyways, so now the begining of my hectic weekend!
Tomorrow I must get up early and get READY! We're going to see the FINALY INSTALMENT OF Harry Potter! w00t. 've read the book already and know what to expect, but it's gunna be awesome to see this. Afterwords we're going to eat sushi! Then some of us are going to see PAPA F***ING ROACH! YEAH! In concert baby! *hipthrust* So early to bed tonight!
Love you guys! Love my art...or don't look at it!
More will be coming soon...either tonight or SUNDAY! so keep an eye open for it.

I thought 'ugh' was rather appropriate as that's what I said when I promptly looked in the mirror not so very long ago. Today is the first day in...well a while that I've been able to get online.
Since Friday I have worked an astonishing 59 and a HALF hours! That's right! and THIS week is not even done yet folks!
'Ugh' pretty much sums that up for me.

On to other topics.

Here is some background about myself:
I was born here (and proudly) in the state of Alaska in 1988. I lived in Cali for 9 years, however, from 1st grade to 9th. I have an older full blood sister (most commonly called BITCH) and a younger half sister (most commonly called Ein). We are a lot of years appart. My older sister is 27, I'm turning 23 and my little sister is a few weeks away from turning 16. I started RPing when I was 12 years old and I invinted the kitty smile emote! =^ ^= <----this one. It's mine! mwahahaha....o.o;
Sorry, I'm exhausted and not asleep yet, but I am getting there!
more things!
Um...I like guys and girls am a furry lover of all sorts, have a few characters (poe is one of them) and HoneyBee...is new...*coughes* and me! She's me...not an aspect of me, my one and true fursona!
My bf dumped me...a few weeks ago for another girl he claims didn't actually happen *couLIARghs*. So I'm on the rebound and have recovered significantly.
I've also come to a startling conclusion: YOU CAN'T TELL WHEN I'M DRUNK! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Alright now I'm going to bed so maybe my brain will reboot! Maybe I will start this as a regular basis...and maybe I'll start writing parts of my story up here...the world may never know...
END!