I'll be rooming with  xaxoqual and pleasuring my man  rush120 Also, you'll see me hanging with  touchmybadger in the dealer's den. Check out her page for the table number.  rush120 is spinning in the main room dance Friday night C: Oh, and I'm bringing my cubs Thursday to meet my darling friends and check out the fursuits. My older daughter is a pony, ask her to winny for you and she'll light up the room! My cell number has changed from last year but if you try reeeaaallly hard, you can most likely meet up with me during con. I'll be staying Friday and Saturday nights, as I'm local and have my children until Friday. I forgot to preregister ;_; so if someone can hook me up with a decent place in line Thursday I'd greatly appreciate it given I'll have kids in tow. Okay, I think that covers everything. Much love to you all and I'll see you at the con!

Buy my man's cd!!! It's all kinds of kick ass.

But first, my roommates are gone. They took off at 6am on the 31st... stealing tons of stuff. But it was otherwise uneventful. I'm beyond amazed at the difference in the vibe of the place. I really need to let my man be the one to decide who, if anyone, can be roommates us. I've had no luck at all. I'm hiding behind the emperor's widsom in this regard.

I'm going to be apart from  rush120 from now until FC. That's the longest so far. We've been together every weekend save one since he claimed me. So, if you see us together at con, be prepared for at least some mild public displays of affection. This man is my world.

Lastly, I've been molting. I've known for a while that the poly tuxedo was me, but when I'm single. When I'm in love I only want the object of my affection. So, have given much thought to what species represented all of me. Then on NYE I met a sexy ladyfur oracle who clearly saw me for what I was. Nailed it. I never would have presumed I was strong enough to be one, but I'm forever trying to control my temper. I'm so very opinionated. I'm terribly dominant. And I've hated that I'm that way. WHy do I care so much... feel so strongly... why can't I be easygoing? Why do I defend what's mine to the death, opinions included?


I'm going to make a new profile in the next month or two, as the internet is available to me. Any guess on the species? Some of you know.

Well, it's that time of year. Holidays and all that crap. I'm delighted to say my man and I will be spending much time together through the first of the year until we really crack down on FurCon preparations. I am so excited, having met a great many quality furs in recent months <3 Big Cat assures me an amazing time will be had by all.
Work is going well, kids are doing well, my man is the freakin best thing that's happened to me, I just have roommates from hell. Seriously, it's time for them to go. It'll be interesting to see what happens cause they're the vindictive type and Rush isn't going to tolerate much from them. I'll try to keep you posted.

Update... had my cap and gown graduation ceremony, paid off my van, spent the weekend meeting all of my guy's Bay Area friends and am savoring every moment with my best friend, Master and partner-in-crime. :D He's fucking wonderful. Nuff said. <3 Counting down the days to Further Confusion, it will be Epic! Love you, my pretties!

Okay.... yea, I've said it before. So sue me for being optimistic about love. But I love him. I really do. fuuuuuuuuuuck. *sigh* Imma go eat. Not sure if I'll be back on later, but thanks to everyone who's gone on this wild ride with me. <3

Well, I am sitting at someone's computer, feeling that life is pretty friggin good.
I just got through the most difficult time in my life, and now I see the flowers bloom, the wind in my hair, the noises of life lulling to a peaceful din.
I have a job, had to fight to keep it when a coworker decided she wanted more hours and I almost lost mine, So, I'm not very popular, but I am employed.
This cat's about survival. I've been just doing that for so long. I had been wondering if ever I'd find my mate, and then he texted... all these years, restrained emotions... sidelong glances in passing. Yes, he's found me. So much has happened since we first met, so much for the better. The time is now. I am, at last, owned.
I hope to get my internet back next month, until then I'll get emails and texts. I'll be here a day or two, so if you'd like my cell number, hit me up.
Come visit, or the love of god, if ever you are in San Jose. C; Let me sing for you.

I am alive and well... and taken care of by my dearest friend and companion, Silverthorne. Words cannot express the peace I feel when gazing into her eyes. I miss talking with Bishie and Xaxoqual but they know I love them dearly. Also love to Rush and Gemmy. Lastly, most of you know of my former mate. I have never been so disappointed in anyone and warn others of trusting in their character. Enjoy the fantasy of the fursona and RP for the player is everything I despise in a person. Just had to get it off my chest, for I despise keeping regrets tucked in my ample cleavage C:

I am watching the last episode of ER. Yes, I've had it in my dvr for ages, just never was in the right frame of mind to watch it.
So I watch it tonight.
And I see couples in love.
At the end of their lives together.
Some ready to let go of the love of their lives.
Some not ready to let them go.
And I am tearing... wondering... will I ever find them?
My best friend, the love of my life?
I'm not 22, I am 37... a divorced woman.
I have so much to offer.
have been told recently by friends that I offer too much.
I am compassionate, caring, giving.... I can't stand to see another in need.
I am accepting of others, so long as they are honest, driven to better their lives, and don't try to manipulate.
Male, female, TG... I just want love.
Love for who I am.
I keep finding people who want to own me, control me, but don't inherently like me for who I am. And you know what? i am a pretty exceptional person.
I'm not in a hurry. In fact, I have to finish school, go through my externship, and find a job. Then I have to to dig myself out of this financial hole and get in a better apartment. And someday a home.

I know I need to do this alone, I'm prepared for this.
But I don't want to be alone for too long. I think I might break if I hit 40 alone.
And I don't want to fill the time with drama-filled soul-sucking relationships.
How am I going to do this?
With good friends like you all.
My computer can't tolerate SL anymore, so until I find a sugar-daddy to buy me one *winks* I'll be here.
Not in a pron mood, so I'll just be here for the conversations, the fur to fur contact.

Say hi from now and then, will ya?
And if you're in San Jose, buy a lady some dinner! :3

Well, I gave him another shot. When I called it off, he went nuts and threatened to snap my neck. I can't believe I managed to block his fist around my throat. After a scuffle that I don't remember, he had me pinned backwards over the kitchen counter where I began to scream as loud as I could. Only paused when I bit nearly through the palm of his hand. He quickly realized I wasn't going to make it easy for him, so he left.
Called the police, they filed an emergency restraining order and came back later to photograph the bruises.
My only close friends are taking turns keeping me out of the house.
And I'm finding it hard to sleep.
Yup, that was my weekend, how was yours?
:P

I know I've been testy, nay bitchy, to some on MSN. But you see, I have no time nor willingness to engage is small talk. Sorry, My claws don't retract anymore.

Well, I let the guy be the center of my world and he took advantage of it. I kicked him out of my life and the big badass is BEGGING for me to take him back. So I'm done being the respectful tender lady that i can be and now I'm Domming his ass. He doesn't know to treat a lady like a lady? Fine, I don't need him. I'm no longer afraid to be alone. I feel stronger than ever having stood up to him. He wants to be in my life? He gets to prove it.
I'm the type of chick that if I want something, I take it. I make it really easy on guys and gals. They don't need to chase me. I treat them the way men deeply needed to be treated. With respect, I make them feel important. Some guys just let that go to their heads and take it as a sign of weakness on my part.
Oooooh, but are they wrong.
So, I'm rethinking my strategy.
He wants me?
Great.
He needs to hunt down this prey.
I'm not making a damn thing easy for him.
Let him miss me.
Let him stay up nights thinking of my eyes, my smell, my touch, my lips.
My memory will haunt him.
yeah, I'm that amazing.
He will never see the inside of my apartment again. That's My lair.
He needs to get ready to spend some money on me.
I'm talking dinner, flowers...
It's not as if a guy has to work and not know if the prize is worth it.
I treat my men like Kings.
But now I'm Domming his ass.
He'll probably yell and cuss at me, running away.
But if he really loves me, he'll take it and learn a thing or two.
I seriously doubt he will, but I'm open to being surprised.


BY THE WAY!
A friend who is a piolet took me up in a cessna yesterday and I took some Freaking amazing pictures of San Francisco. Well, my camera isn't great but the view makes up for it. I hope to post them soon!

Much love, my pretties! <3

Hey, folks.
Thanks for the inquiries and new watchers.
I'm settling down beautifully with my man. So well, in fact that I am not seeing any others, including my lady. She's hurt, and that tears me up, but I just don't want to be touched by anyone else anymore. I've found someone who can handle all of me and wants even more, so there is no need to divide my affections.

On to other news, I'm debating on clearning my list of those I watch. I'm not into pr0ny things these days and seeing over 1k submissions to look at is overwhelming. Maybe I'll just keep nuking submissions for now. I'm also not keeping up on journals. I figure if there is anything terribly important for me to know, someone can note me.

Anyway, back the the business oflife.

Take care of yourselves... you'd better do it!

Well, my lil daughter is quite sick and up in the night, so I'm taking some time to rid my submissions of intimacies with my ex and also some of the my favorites that were geared towards his favorites, or things that might remind me a little too much of the past. Not all of them, mind you, just those that cause a reaction one way or another in me. To the artists, I apologize to the bottom of my heart, I just need things to reflect me, who I am today, and not where I've been. Not everything has stuck with me.

Much love, my darlings... you know who you are.
Gemmy, Bishie, Xax, Emperor, Neuroptik...
and all the rest. <3


*update* Some asked if I hate Nyte now. I still have his belongings all over my house. I will be packing them up safely. Nyte and I will not stay in touch, but are freeing eachother to live their own lives.

Here is my response to their question:

"Not in the least. We have made peace with eachother. However, I tend to take on the aspects of whomever I love. To be closer to them. Now that I am in a different relationship with a man who will not share me with another man, it pains me to see images of myself with someone else.
Just not right to keep them around.
My days of being his mate are dead and gone.
I started FA after I fell in love with Nyte irl. I need to make it a place just for me now."

I want to thank those who have posted with their support. I am deeply touched to hear from those who truly care. Feeling the love, people, feeling the love!

I'm doing much better.

In Nyte I was given the opportunity to be able to love. Really find out how far my heart could go, how deeply I could feel. I knew that it would always eclipse how he felt about me, but I needed the experiment.

I don't regret anything, I'll never regret caring for someone and taking the chances. I never shy away from the chance to love.

Nyte let go when he felt safe to do so, when I told him I had met someone who I knew would change my life.
Meeting my new man, as I told Nyte, was like getting hit with a sledgehammer. The experience was profound and my heart, body and sould responded instinctively to what this man was offering with his eyes. I have not strayed from his gaze since and have found something deeper than I knew was possible.

I wasn't looking for it, it found me.
I could have run away, denied the experience because it came so soon, my heart had just started to settle in my chest once again.
But, I am not a coward. I would not be true to myself if I denied myself this man, this experience, on the basis of fear.
...
I also kept a long-standing date with a lady, which was fulfilled this past weekend. I found comfort and safety in her arms. Yet another person who looked into my soul and savored it like a treasured delicacy.

I am now satisfied with my relationships. My man and my lady.
They haven't met and yet respect eachother.
Now I will turn away from others soul-seeking connections.

I need friends, I need family.

I have my mates.
<3

I'm not going to be around.
Nyte was the reason I came here and what kept me close to him. I tried so hard.
It all really was in my imagination.
and Apparently just physical.

yeah, I'm hurt

I'll probably be back in a few months...

3 months, right?

Thoughts... on romance, expectations, realities, disappointment, acceptance


I see you, but you don't see me
Like a ghost of the future, hovering dark and dreamy
You fade in and out of the mist
Do you even exist, except in my wishful thinking

I reach for you, but I can't touch you
I feel you just beyond a star
Do you know how much you are...
All I ever wanted
Is it too much too soon
Am I foolishly dreaming
Just baying at the moon
Playing impossible visions like an elementary tune
How I wish that I could realize my heart
But it's only wishful thinking on my part

Well, moeny is catching up with me. I recently had to renew my registration, license, smog, and replace the tail lights on my car. As a result, I can't keep my internet and will be offline for a few weeks until I can get it back on. I think most people have my cell number, I should be able to keep that on or only have it disrupted for a few days. *deep breath* things will look up soon, it has to. On a brighter side, I've met a lot of local people recently who I'll get to hang with once my love is gone.

Well, that's all I got for now. Love you all.

My mate is moving out Tuesday morning. Today is a day to hang out with the children, give them a chance to say goodbye. I just wish I knew how to explain to my 2 year old that her best friend is leaving. He'll be back as soon as he can, which will most likely be 6 months to a year. Unless he just misses me like crazy and can't sleep at night unless I'm wrapped around him.
We bump heads like everyone, but we both know it just doesn't get better than this.
He ran his fingers over my arm at a red light and I had an orgasm, heat sweeping though my chest. Yes, it's that good.
He is insisting that I see others while he's gone, and I've set up a date with a lovely lady in two weeks. Next week I'm having a slumber party with a few school mates to get silly drunk and possibly make out. Yeah, all of us. We'll see. We are all having boy blues and it might be time to take a break and enjoy our friends. And their lips, tongues, tastes.
I hope I'm up for all of this, I really am not sure how the next week will be, I've cried over the last few weeks and am tearing now. But I'm going to keep the blues away until Monday at least, tomorrow I'm taking him to the beach for the day. We're broke as hell, so I'm packing a lunch, but I want to take a bunch of pictures for us... and for my lil daughter so she has recent pictures to look at when she talks to him on the phone.
Oh, boy... this is hard.


Haven't been around lately.
And I have 1255 images to look at :o
Give me a few days and I'll have tons of new favorites.

To my new watchers, thank you so much for finding me interesting.
I hope to chat more in the coming weeks.
Much love to you, my darlings....

From my mate:

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/656887/

My mate has the most delicious ass ever attached to a person.

That is all.

Okay, you want to know? Here it is...


Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night?
Anytime, but I love late morning/early afternoon

Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Video?
Both, please!

Vibrator or Dildo?
combo :)

Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?
On

Word preference: Pussy or Cunt?
Pussy... only my mate can use "cunt"

Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?
During sex but would like to try over the knee

More Exciting: Sex in an Elevator or Sex in an Airplane?
I think both would be

Word preference: Cock or Dick?
Cock

Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape?
whatcha got?

Which threesome: Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?
hmmmm.... only three?.. boy girl girl, it's been a while

Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex with a Stranger?
Mmmmm.... while they watch and then join

Newly Discovered fetish?
Hmmmm.... transgender make-overs

Master or slave?
Rarely sub but I do it very well, sub to my mate

Slut or whore?
slut/whore/cocksleeve/cumdump :)

Light Bondage or heavy?
Either

Whispering or screaming?
whispering.... if I scream, I can't help it

Ever lost your sanity?
I do believe so

Most coveted perversion?
Queening my mate

Under the boot or wearing the boot?
Depends on the person/situation... I've enjoyed both

Hot Candle wax or warm?
yes, please

Relationship Status:
Open mated polyamorous

Orientation:
pansexual (males, females, transgendered)

Body type:
Voluptious

Religion:
pass

Zodiac Sign?
Taurus

Smoke / Drink:
yes/yes but 3 drink max

Current Location:
San Jose, CA

Your Weakness:
having my neck kissed, blown on, bitten

Your Best Physical Feature:
eyes

Your Bedtime:
midnight

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:
yup

In the past week have you masturbated:
of course

Number of Piercings:
2

Number of Tattoos:
1

Do you consider yourself perverted?
yup!

At what age did you lose your virginity?
newly 16... went on the prowl because I was done being a virgin

Have you ever deflowered a virgin?
yes

If you give head, do you swallow?
of course

Do you like oral stimulation of the anus?
yes, please... can I do you?

Do you like penetration of the anus?
Mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm

Have you ever tried fisting?
tried, MUCH too tight both places

How would you rate the intensity of your sexual desires? On a scale of 1-10?
8.7-9.2

Nymphomaniacal?
Yes.

Do sexual preoccupations interfere with other activities?
Friendships, yes... it complicates things

Are you promiscuous?
Yes.

Do you ever regret sleeping with someone?
Sometimes, depends on how it changes the person's behavior after

Do you ever have phone sex?
oh, yeah

Do you ever call a 900 number (or similar commercial service) for phone sex?
Hell no

Do you ever make obscene phone calls?
Only when they beg for me to call

Have you ever had a sexual experience that defies your "normal" orientation?
Everything is my norm, so no

Have you ever made yourself up to resemble the opposite gender?
In a play, but my boobs are a dead give away

Have you ever had an erotic experience with a transvestite or transsexual?
Yes *purrrrrrs*

Do you find feet, toes, or shoes erotic?
yes

Do you find underwear, lingerie, or hosiery erotic?
yes

Do you find long hair, cut hair, or shaved hair erotic?
yep

Have you ever peeped on someone?
whenever I can

Have you ever used a recording device such as a video camera to peep on someone?
No

Have you ever been caught peeping on someone?
I don't think so

Have you ever "flashed" someone?
yes :)

Are you a sadist or masochist
More of a masochist

Have you ever slapped, spanked, or whipped someone during a sexual act?
yes

Have you ever been slapped, spanked, or whipped during a sexual act?
yes

Have you ever cut, scratched, pierced, or stabbed someone during a sexual act?
yes, but don't usually

Have you ever been cut, scratched, pierced, or stabbed during a sexual act?
yes, but don't usually

Do you like bondage?
ooh, yeah

Like to be tied up?
Mmmhmm

Like to tie up partner?
sometimes

Have you ever participated in a threesome?
*purrrrrrs* mmhmmm

If so, what gender were your partners?
usually one male, one female, but not lately

What is the maximum number of partners you've had during a sex act?
4 others... *edit* actually 3, one spectator

What is the most people you have slept with in a single day?
4 *edit* 3

Does the idea of sharing a partner (such as inviting a neighbor to have sex with your spouse) excite you?
very much so

Have you ever had sex with a relative?
foreplay

As a minor, did you ever have sex with an adult?
yes

As an adult, have you ever had sex with a minor?
no

Have you ever had sex with a person of retirement age?
nope

Have you ever had sex with an animal?
*purrrrrrrs*

Wow, that was So cool!
I got back over 60 Valentine's wishes :) *squees, giggling*
You guys, thank you for giving me a shout back, I really wasn't expecting it. Just wanted to let you all know that I was thinking about you. I know it may have been a rough day, I hope not. It wasn't the most ideal day for me, but it all worked out in the end.
Needless to say, hearing from my watchers was the highlight of my day!
*purrrrrrrrrrrs* I wish I could do something else in thanks. Hmmmm.... maybe another RL pic?

Well, my household is looking at me kinda funny, but I had to do it! I sent out over a hundred Valentine wishes to my watchers. I wanted to take a bit of time to let you know how grateful I am for this site and those I have befriended through it. *snuggles into a massive furpile!*

grins.... I wrote that and then just sat here with a smile for about 5 minutes... sure gets the imagination up and running... I'll leave you with your own thoughts on the matter... *purrrrrrrrrs*

Okay,
I don't do arts. I have always thought... Thought about trying arts, but really, don't do arts.
And yet I am watched ^^
By 14 new peoples in the last two weeks! Yes, I see you!!! O.O
How do you find me?
srsly... how?


*squirms, trying to contain herself* IIII'MMM SO FRIGGIN CURIOUS!!!
*gah!*

being a kitty is hard sometimes... x.x


I'm talking to you, newbie watchers! Speak up or I'll call you by name, don't think I won't! Hehehe.... *Bwahahaha!*

*ahem*

please?

First off, my goodness where did all the new watchers come from? *tail waves and smooshes ya under her tail* There, yer marked, mine! *bwahahaha!*

*ahem*

Well, furcon coming right before finals was a serious challenge, but I somehow managed to ace my final and end the module at the top of my class. Now to keep it up but I'm pleased with how things have started out. Yeah, all this and brains, too! *blushes*

Con was a very emotional experience. I didn't get to meet the artists I wanted to as I was crying off and on for a good part of it. You see, I am Deeply in love with my mate. He is a serious roleplayer but gave it up when we moved in together. I have dated quite a bit and gave it up for him. I honestly didn't think I would find anyone I'd be attracted to after him... yeah, he's that great.

And then the most dismaying thing happened. I was lounging by the fireplace Thursday night and someone passed by through the crowd.... and stopped Dead in their tracks. He apparently liked what he saw. I know I liked what I saw... and that was Very distressing. He offered sharing company for con and while I was Very drawn to him, I had guilt.... serious, shameful guilt.

I'll leave out the depth of emotion I experienced, but safe to say that I didn't sleep well that night. I was very candid with my mate about what happened and he gave me his blessing to experience the gentleman. O.o I didn't quite believe it. My mate also was in a Very deep depression about not roleplaying.
Okay, the answer seems obvious now, but I was quite proud of thinking of it.

We are madly in love with eachother and yet want to play with others. And so we shall. He online and me in my real life. I had Such a hard time thinking about him being with others online... but, really, if I had recently been physical with someone else, how can I complain?? Yup, I can't. Puts it all in perspective.

We have shared eachother online and in person before, just was before we shared a home. It was lovely having him just to myself... a honeymoon period, if you will. Now it's time to loosen the reigns and enjoy life, with my heart firmly in my mate's paws.

Lastly, I am going to start having my fursona drawn more plush... massive boobs, hourglass waist, thick thighs, booty for days. I am a lot of woman and sexy as hell. As I am a full-time studant, I won't be commissioning anyone for a while, but if anyone wants to give it a shot, feel free ^^ The other thing.... I want to be drawn as a taur. XD Really.... playful with front hindpaws, seductive and drawing you in. If that strikes anyone's fancy, I'd be delighted.

I guess this is an open invitation to draw my PollyCat. Have at her, hehe!
No pressure and I won't hold anyone to any offers, I know that happens quite a bit. It's all for the love of furs. No limits, I'm into anything... just remember the green eyes and flash of red hair. <3

Thank you, my lovlies, for reading this and I wish I could smoosh ya all into my cleavage!

Yup, having a great time at con, survived the registration process v.v I'm most likely to be found lounging in front of the fireplace, as kitties are prone to do. Hope to see you all there! Note me for my cell number so we can catch eachother tomorrow. :D