Comfort Journal. Try it!
General | Posted 14 years agoCopied from
Alastair
What color are your underwear?
I have many different ones of many different colors, but most common I would have to say is either red or black.
Do they have a design?
Some of them do. The red ones are just Hanes though.
What color are your socks?
White or black.
Is there a design on them?
Nope!
Are you a virgin?
Nope.
Happy that way?
Yup.
What is your favorite sex position?
Reverse cowgirl and believe it or not, missionary hehe.
What is your sexuality/sexual orientation/What the fuck do you consider yourself?
Straight.
Do you look at hentai?
Nope.
Real porn?
Only when she wants to watch it hehe.
Do you read smutty/porn stories?
Nope.
Do you read/watch/look at gay porn/hentai/stories?
I do look at a lot of Gay art here on FA. When it comes to art, Gay or straight, if the art put out by the artists looks good to me, then I will look at it hehe.
Who was your first kiss with?
Geez...My first kiss? I cant honestly say I remember. I just know it was during a time when a lot of bads things were happening to me in school.
Are they of the opposite sex?
Yes.
Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
I have kisses a member of the same sex.
Is there any one of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with?
Yes.
Do you have any piercings other than your ears?
Not yet.
Do you have any tattoos?
Not yet.
Have you ever got a girl pregnant?
No.
Ever done any illegal drugs?
I have smoked weed. But that was about 10 years ago.
Have you ever cheated on someone?
No.
Ever been cheated on?
OH yeah...
Have you ever been called a whore/slut?
LOL THAT would be funny. But no. at least not seriously.
Do you own any sex toys?
Yes.
Have you ever had a sexual fantasy involving a relative?
IRL good God no. IC, yes.
Have you ever masturbated?
Yes.
Have you ever taken a naked picture of yourself?
Yes.
Have you ever taken a naked picture of someone else?
Yes
Are you on any form of birth control (the pill, the patch, etc)?
Nope.
Have you ever written/drawn smut/porn?
Not yet, but I am currently writing something that will have a small smut scene in it.
Do you swear in front of your parents?
I have a very few amount of times. I try my best to keep my mouth free of profanity. Text is different, but even then it can be difficult for me to type certain words.
Are you uncomfortable yet?
Nope.
Are you taking this quiz of your own free will?
Yes.
AlastairWhat color are your underwear?
I have many different ones of many different colors, but most common I would have to say is either red or black.
Do they have a design?
Some of them do. The red ones are just Hanes though.
What color are your socks?
White or black.
Is there a design on them?
Nope!
Are you a virgin?
Nope.
Happy that way?
Yup.
What is your favorite sex position?
Reverse cowgirl and believe it or not, missionary hehe.
What is your sexuality/sexual orientation/What the fuck do you consider yourself?
Straight.
Do you look at hentai?
Nope.
Real porn?
Only when she wants to watch it hehe.
Do you read smutty/porn stories?
Nope.
Do you read/watch/look at gay porn/hentai/stories?
I do look at a lot of Gay art here on FA. When it comes to art, Gay or straight, if the art put out by the artists looks good to me, then I will look at it hehe.
Who was your first kiss with?
Geez...My first kiss? I cant honestly say I remember. I just know it was during a time when a lot of bads things were happening to me in school.
Are they of the opposite sex?
Yes.
Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
I have kisses a member of the same sex.
Is there any one of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with?
Yes.
Do you have any piercings other than your ears?
Not yet.
Do you have any tattoos?
Not yet.
Have you ever got a girl pregnant?
No.
Ever done any illegal drugs?
I have smoked weed. But that was about 10 years ago.
Have you ever cheated on someone?
No.
Ever been cheated on?
OH yeah...
Have you ever been called a whore/slut?
LOL THAT would be funny. But no. at least not seriously.
Do you own any sex toys?
Yes.
Have you ever had a sexual fantasy involving a relative?
IRL good God no. IC, yes.
Have you ever masturbated?
Yes.
Have you ever taken a naked picture of yourself?
Yes.
Have you ever taken a naked picture of someone else?
Yes
Are you on any form of birth control (the pill, the patch, etc)?
Nope.
Have you ever written/drawn smut/porn?
Not yet, but I am currently writing something that will have a small smut scene in it.
Do you swear in front of your parents?
I have a very few amount of times. I try my best to keep my mouth free of profanity. Text is different, but even then it can be difficult for me to type certain words.
Are you uncomfortable yet?
Nope.
Are you taking this quiz of your own free will?
Yes.
She has been named!!!
General | Posted 14 years agoAfter a LONG deliberation, a name has been chosen! Her name shall be: Ak'Chasar Desha'coro. The Meaning is Keeper of the Stars, Daughter of Night Wind.
Old picture can be found here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7243731/
And a new picture will be done for her soon! So thank you to
Dragoninja and
kaza For having the winning names!
And thank you SO much to everyone who helped by giving input! You all had such good names that it made it VERY hard to decide!
Old picture can be found here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7243731/
And a new picture will be done for her soon! So thank you to
Dragoninja and
kaza For having the winning names!And thank you SO much to everyone who helped by giving input! You all had such good names that it made it VERY hard to decide!
MEME: Are you ready for the Zombie Apocalypse?
General | Posted 14 years agoAlright, here is the deal. If you feel you are prepared, post yourself wearing as much of your gear as you can and PLEASE TRY to have the book as well!
I hope this spreads! Im posting my picture up as well!
Have fun and lets see how many people try this!
I hope this spreads! Im posting my picture up as well!
Have fun and lets see how many people try this!
HB Da Mack! Help my IRL bro hit 3k views on Youtube!
General | Posted 14 years agoHe just dropped his first music video! Damn! I am proud of this kid!
WARNING Drug content (Weed) If you dont like it no need to watch the whole video but please show some love anyway lol!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
WARNING Drug content (Weed) If you dont like it no need to watch the whole video but please show some love anyway lol!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d6d_KE8HEw&list=UUDxhMoyckn01TyjgU-CgZvw&index=1&feature=plcp
My exhaust!
General | Posted 14 years agoAlright, this is mainly for the two AWESOME furs that are helping me to fix my car. I hope this helps guys, this is what the rattle sounds like
http://youtu.be/tu8xzGGPmao
http://youtu.be/tu8xzGGPmao
http://youtu.be/tu8xzGGPmao
http://youtu.be/tu8xzGGPmao
http://youtu.be/tu8xzGGPmao
Anyone else want to look feel free to! ^_^ And YES I KNOW...The rattle is bad LOL.
http://youtu.be/tu8xzGGPmao
http://youtu.be/tu8xzGGPmao
http://youtu.be/tu8xzGGPmao
http://youtu.be/tu8xzGGPmao
http://youtu.be/tu8xzGGPmao
Anyone else want to look feel free to! ^_^ And YES I KNOW...The rattle is bad LOL.
O.O! Lets see what I get!
General | Posted 14 years agoTook this from
brownbeltrob
SINGLE OR NOT put this as your journal & see what you get
OPEN FIRE!
♥ = I want a relationship with you
C: = I'm falling for you
:3 = I miss you
;] = i really like you
:* = I want to kiss you
>:P = Your Sexy
:< = I hate you
: X = I like you
O: = I like you but im in a relationship
:/ = I like you but your in a relationship
:] = You're cute
</3 = I regret leaving you
:b = We should get to know each other
;^) = We should hang out
<3 = I love you.. \o//
<:^ = i want to know you
@FT@=*stalk*
eue= You're hot
<:3 = You're a great friend
^_^ = We're friends
^.^ = We're best friends
>;3 = I want you on top
>:3 = I want on top
brownbeltrobSINGLE OR NOT put this as your journal & see what you get
OPEN FIRE!
♥ = I want a relationship with you
C: = I'm falling for you
:3 = I miss you
;] = i really like you
:* = I want to kiss you
>:P = Your Sexy
:< = I hate you
: X = I like you
O: = I like you but im in a relationship
:/ = I like you but your in a relationship
:] = You're cute
</3 = I regret leaving you
:b = We should get to know each other
;^) = We should hang out
<3 = I love you.. \o//
<:^ = i want to know you
@FT@=*stalk*
eue= You're hot
<:3 = You're a great friend
^_^ = We're friends
^.^ = We're best friends
>;3 = I want you on top
>:3 = I want on top
Dear Agony...
General | Posted 14 years agoHeh.
Amazing song, Amazing video with it. For those who look, I hope you like it too.
Dear Agony
Pretty much how I have felt the last few days. Thank God I got A few good friends and my amazing wife to help me stay afloat.
Amazing song, Amazing video with it. For those who look, I hope you like it too.
Dear Agony
Pretty much how I have felt the last few days. Thank God I got A few good friends and my amazing wife to help me stay afloat.
I cant believe this is happening in my home town area...
General | Posted 14 years agoI read something this morning that...well really moved me...to tears to be honest. I may not be gay, but I know what its like to be hated for who and what I am...
Just so everyone knows, this article is heavy on death and sadness. Its not an easy read and I had to stop several times through it to clear my head of frustration...
To think...People can be so cruel...So disgusting in their ways. I hadnt anything like this since I was back in school...My heart goes out to all the families who lost someone during this event...I wish there were more I could do...More I could say...Something I could give to help...Im not going to be offline again for a while...I have things I need to mull over for now...
For those of you wishing to reach me, you know how to do it...
For those wanting to read the article yourselves, Here it is:
http://www.rollingstone.com/politic.....teens-20120202
*EDIT* I will be offline. I came back to change this because I got a text stating my error...Im sorry everyone...I shall be back again in a few days...*
Just so everyone knows, this article is heavy on death and sadness. Its not an easy read and I had to stop several times through it to clear my head of frustration...
To think...People can be so cruel...So disgusting in their ways. I hadnt anything like this since I was back in school...My heart goes out to all the families who lost someone during this event...I wish there were more I could do...More I could say...Something I could give to help...Im not going to be offline again for a while...I have things I need to mull over for now...
For those of you wishing to reach me, you know how to do it...
For those wanting to read the article yourselves, Here it is:
http://www.rollingstone.com/politic.....teens-20120202
*EDIT* I will be offline. I came back to change this because I got a text stating my error...Im sorry everyone...I shall be back again in a few days...*
Artist appreciation
General | Posted 14 years agoSomething I have been thinking about...Some of the amazing art that I have seen on here...I really wish the "outside world" would open their minds to our kinds of creativity. Some of these artists works belong in art Galas and In glass cases being bid on for hundreds of thousands of dollars, to have it hung in some rich snobs 34524523234 room mansion (DARN YOU MONEYBUCKS!) for them to feel more sophisticated about themselves.
But because most of this art is what it is, I fear these artists her on this small community website will NEVER get the full appreciation they deserve from the professional art community. I wish there were something I could do about it, but I cant.
I hope some of you go on to make multi-million dollar animated movies and the like...If for nothing else but your sheer talent alone, I feel you deserve it.
Thank you to ALL the artists who spend your time here, drawing things for us, the "little" people, when most of us know you could be out in the big world (some of you still are and an even greater thanks to you for still thinking of us) and not down here selling your work at Very generous prices.
Its because of your skills in art, photography, animation and the like that you have made so many of us not-so-talented people happy by portraying our deepest emotions/fantasies/desires/fears, ect.
Thank you again for reading this. Have a wonderful day!
But because most of this art is what it is, I fear these artists her on this small community website will NEVER get the full appreciation they deserve from the professional art community. I wish there were something I could do about it, but I cant.
I hope some of you go on to make multi-million dollar animated movies and the like...If for nothing else but your sheer talent alone, I feel you deserve it.
Thank you to ALL the artists who spend your time here, drawing things for us, the "little" people, when most of us know you could be out in the big world (some of you still are and an even greater thanks to you for still thinking of us) and not down here selling your work at Very generous prices.
Its because of your skills in art, photography, animation and the like that you have made so many of us not-so-talented people happy by portraying our deepest emotions/fantasies/desires/fears, ect.
Thank you again for reading this. Have a wonderful day!
Car trouble! Not TOO serious...Yet.
General | Posted 14 years agoWell i found out that my struts are going out on my car LOL. My fault TOTALLY though. Car has over 100k on her and i never even got them LOOKED at. I think with what money I have left right now I am going to replace my serpentine belt (ALSO has over 100k on it) and my struts, as well as my springs. looking at about $500 in repairs. Prolly getting Eibach Pro Street plus kit. Lower the car a bit AND fix my bad parts ^_^ Win/Win
To the 2 artists I owe a little money to for art, sorry for the delay! I will have it in 2 weeks for ya ^_^! Thank you kindly for being patient! You know how it is...Priorities. Gotta be responsible and all LOL.
To the 2 artists I owe a little money to for art, sorry for the delay! I will have it in 2 weeks for ya ^_^! Thank you kindly for being patient! You know how it is...Priorities. Gotta be responsible and all LOL.
ANATOMY FAILURE...a constant problem...
General | Posted 14 years agoI know its all preference but honestly, all reptiles have CLOACAS, not butt-holes...Why is it when I see so many people talk about anatomy failure, its usually someone who has a feral dragon with a gaping asshole. I wanna just tell them to bring up the anatomy failure issue once they figure out what a cloaca is.
I could be wrong on this but I guess its due to the fact that most EVERYTHING these days is mixed with something so you have no more pure dragons, its usual dragon/huskies or dragon/fox or dragon/earthworm, some goofy poop like that. But come on...I have nothing against gay art, but just because its anal, doenst mean you cant have proper anatomy...ITS STILL GAY IF A MALE PUTS IT IN ANOTHER MALE"S CLOACA! Just in case you didnt know.
*sigh* Perhaps I am just sore...I like the cloaca...I find it sexually appealing in reptiles and avians and the like and I dont see enough art with it. I even plan on getting Art with Serpy sometime soon with correct anatomy hehe. Although given she is anthro and not feral, it is a little more understandable when she has both parts, I think I would like it better to see her with the cloaca more often hehe like in this picture HERE!
I know I am a weird one. Thanks for stopping by!
Rant complete.
I could be wrong on this but I guess its due to the fact that most EVERYTHING these days is mixed with something so you have no more pure dragons, its usual dragon/huskies or dragon/fox or dragon/earthworm, some goofy poop like that. But come on...I have nothing against gay art, but just because its anal, doenst mean you cant have proper anatomy...ITS STILL GAY IF A MALE PUTS IT IN ANOTHER MALE"S CLOACA! Just in case you didnt know.
*sigh* Perhaps I am just sore...I like the cloaca...I find it sexually appealing in reptiles and avians and the like and I dont see enough art with it. I even plan on getting Art with Serpy sometime soon with correct anatomy hehe. Although given she is anthro and not feral, it is a little more understandable when she has both parts, I think I would like it better to see her with the cloaca more often hehe like in this picture HERE!
I know I am a weird one. Thanks for stopping by!
Rant complete.
Effin' Rap Music
General | Posted 14 years agoSee...
This is why I hate rap music... Look what black people have done to this poor white kid...
http://youtu.be/g-xNQg7vBKQ
This is why I hate rap music... Look what black people have done to this poor white kid...
http://youtu.be/g-xNQg7vBKQ
Involving my resolution, and my current mindset ^_^
General | Posted 14 years agoI have been in a rather pleasant mood. I removed myself from Twitter temporarily, and have been off of FaceBook save for liking some things online and it linking back to FB. Due to have some art coming in soon and that will be it for me for a while.
I anticipate the art I am getting and at the same time I feel rather uneasy. I know I have been in several artworks before with other characters, of those, I think 3 have been pics where my wife wasn't involved, and only 1 of those were even after we started dating. As fantastic as the pictures have been I guess it never sat right with me. I get an awkward feeling...
Well a few of these next commissions are similar, in that a few have her in them, and a few don't. Well as it stands I never pictured Vex to be the type to be with so many people, even if it is just art. So after these last few pictures, adult work of Vex will be scarce. Adult work of him with anyone who isn't Serpy, even more scarce.
A big thing of it for me is that usually when I get art like that, I want it to mean something...And well since my new years resolution is to be honest about how I feel and not hide what im thinking anymore I have to honestly say that I don't feel very close to anyone, save one person.
Thats not to say that I haven't tried to be closer to people, its that im losing people to try and be close to.
I don't really know what else to say about this.
But I will say this now....One of the pictures depicts Vex with another male character. It is rare. and no, dont ask.
Even writing this I get a sick feeling in my stomach...Or maybe thats because of INSANITY...Either way, Im sure I haven't ruined anyones dreams or anything lol and I don't really expect much in the means of comments, just figured I would let people know, in keeping with my Resolution.
If you take anything away from this, please let it be that I am not upset, or sad or anything, but I just wanted to say what was on my mind ^_^.
I hope you all are doing well and I look forward to posting more later.
EDIT!!!!
I will still be posting my old art from my last account, those arent included in said art above.
I anticipate the art I am getting and at the same time I feel rather uneasy. I know I have been in several artworks before with other characters, of those, I think 3 have been pics where my wife wasn't involved, and only 1 of those were even after we started dating. As fantastic as the pictures have been I guess it never sat right with me. I get an awkward feeling...
Well a few of these next commissions are similar, in that a few have her in them, and a few don't. Well as it stands I never pictured Vex to be the type to be with so many people, even if it is just art. So after these last few pictures, adult work of Vex will be scarce. Adult work of him with anyone who isn't Serpy, even more scarce.
A big thing of it for me is that usually when I get art like that, I want it to mean something...And well since my new years resolution is to be honest about how I feel and not hide what im thinking anymore I have to honestly say that I don't feel very close to anyone, save one person.
Thats not to say that I haven't tried to be closer to people, its that im losing people to try and be close to.
I don't really know what else to say about this.
But I will say this now....One of the pictures depicts Vex with another male character. It is rare. and no, dont ask.
Even writing this I get a sick feeling in my stomach...Or maybe thats because of INSANITY...Either way, Im sure I haven't ruined anyones dreams or anything lol and I don't really expect much in the means of comments, just figured I would let people know, in keeping with my Resolution.
If you take anything away from this, please let it be that I am not upset, or sad or anything, but I just wanted to say what was on my mind ^_^.
I hope you all are doing well and I look forward to posting more later.
EDIT!!!!
I will still be posting my old art from my last account, those arent included in said art above.
Star Wars The Old Republic! Players!
General | Posted 14 years agoI'm really getting into this new Star Wars PC game.
But I need some friends to play with! I will be willing to move to your server n such.
If anyone is interested shoot me a comment or note.
Thanks!
- Vex
But I need some friends to play with! I will be willing to move to your server n such.
If anyone is interested shoot me a comment or note.
Thanks!
- Vex
Recently...
General | Posted 14 years agoI havent been on here much.
I have faved some art and left some comments, but I havent posted much or wrote any journals. I guess I didnt have anything to wrote about.
I suppose I do now.
2 days ago, our bird, Wahine died. I woke up to Serpy holding her in front of me, crying. To be honest, when I saw her, I didnt know how to react. I just sat there looking at her. I felt as if I hadnt really woken up, but was still dreaming. my mind was hazy and I felt sick. I still feel sick. It wasnt even until almost several hours later, it hit me...Our little Wahine was gone. I broke down and for the first time in a very long time, I cried, hard.
I couldnt talk, I could hardly breath and I didnt care to move. It seemed so surreal still. Like my mind was playing some sort of sick joke on itself.
Over the last few days...I have not been myself at home. For those who know how I am, you also know my energy...It has been seemingly drained. I havent been talking much...in fact i havent been feeling anything but this pinch in the back of my neck where Wahine used to try to preen my neck hair. I havent been able to carry on a decent conversation even with Serpy...Even my text messages are very short.
Im numb.
Ive dealt with death before. This isnt the first time I have had to bury a member of my family. Its strange though. My dog...I had her for years before she died...her death was cruel and malicious...And yet i feel the same gravity here as I did there. I havent been able to sleep tonight. I barely slept last night. Im getting caught in random trains of thought, going in the kitchen and just looking around. Serpy asked me what I was doing and I didnt even know.
I think, just like her, im still looking, expecting to see her sitting on our wedding plates, eating bits of apple and pomegranate, or walking along the floor getting ready to try and climb up my pant leg. I still catch myself trying to whistle to her from downstairs, expecting her to call out back to me from the bedroom.
Truth is, right now im really messed up emotionally.
Serpy wants me to talk to her...I want to but I cant think of what to say. Im not upset, or mad. Im confused and sad and lost. Im trying to find a reason for something that has no reason...Im trying to find logic in something illogical. Im trying to tell myself why she cant be dead yet, and at the same time trying to convince myself that I have to accept her passing. These last two days have had me spinning. And I found comfort in the arms of my wife. But my mind is still restless.
Even now, as Im typing this, I wonder to myself, how many will read this through its entirety? How many will simply look and decide that its too long to read, then leave a comment like they understand what im feeling now.
When I buried her I felt colder than I had ever felt before. I wanted to drop to my knees and just stop everything, hoping that maybe we were mistaken. perhaps she was just asleep...It was an irrational though that was fleeting, but I still hear her. Clementine woke up yesterday in tears. Her dreams were as haunted as my awoken state. For someone so small and so young to have such an impact...Its beautiful and yet so cruel. As Serpy said...Her time here was too long to be forgotten easily, and yet too short to know who she really was and who she could be.
With this, I wont be on here for a few days. If anyone needs me, you can call me or text me if you have my number. I may respond to notes, depending on how I feel.
I need some time to sort things out....And I need to talk with my Thylacine.
Im sorry for such a long journal. please forgive me...I dont want you alll in the dark on how I feel. Have a good day everyone. Lots of Love.
I have faved some art and left some comments, but I havent posted much or wrote any journals. I guess I didnt have anything to wrote about.
I suppose I do now.
2 days ago, our bird, Wahine died. I woke up to Serpy holding her in front of me, crying. To be honest, when I saw her, I didnt know how to react. I just sat there looking at her. I felt as if I hadnt really woken up, but was still dreaming. my mind was hazy and I felt sick. I still feel sick. It wasnt even until almost several hours later, it hit me...Our little Wahine was gone. I broke down and for the first time in a very long time, I cried, hard.
I couldnt talk, I could hardly breath and I didnt care to move. It seemed so surreal still. Like my mind was playing some sort of sick joke on itself.
Over the last few days...I have not been myself at home. For those who know how I am, you also know my energy...It has been seemingly drained. I havent been talking much...in fact i havent been feeling anything but this pinch in the back of my neck where Wahine used to try to preen my neck hair. I havent been able to carry on a decent conversation even with Serpy...Even my text messages are very short.
Im numb.
Ive dealt with death before. This isnt the first time I have had to bury a member of my family. Its strange though. My dog...I had her for years before she died...her death was cruel and malicious...And yet i feel the same gravity here as I did there. I havent been able to sleep tonight. I barely slept last night. Im getting caught in random trains of thought, going in the kitchen and just looking around. Serpy asked me what I was doing and I didnt even know.
I think, just like her, im still looking, expecting to see her sitting on our wedding plates, eating bits of apple and pomegranate, or walking along the floor getting ready to try and climb up my pant leg. I still catch myself trying to whistle to her from downstairs, expecting her to call out back to me from the bedroom.
Truth is, right now im really messed up emotionally.
Serpy wants me to talk to her...I want to but I cant think of what to say. Im not upset, or mad. Im confused and sad and lost. Im trying to find a reason for something that has no reason...Im trying to find logic in something illogical. Im trying to tell myself why she cant be dead yet, and at the same time trying to convince myself that I have to accept her passing. These last two days have had me spinning. And I found comfort in the arms of my wife. But my mind is still restless.
Even now, as Im typing this, I wonder to myself, how many will read this through its entirety? How many will simply look and decide that its too long to read, then leave a comment like they understand what im feeling now.
When I buried her I felt colder than I had ever felt before. I wanted to drop to my knees and just stop everything, hoping that maybe we were mistaken. perhaps she was just asleep...It was an irrational though that was fleeting, but I still hear her. Clementine woke up yesterday in tears. Her dreams were as haunted as my awoken state. For someone so small and so young to have such an impact...Its beautiful and yet so cruel. As Serpy said...Her time here was too long to be forgotten easily, and yet too short to know who she really was and who she could be.
With this, I wont be on here for a few days. If anyone needs me, you can call me or text me if you have my number. I may respond to notes, depending on how I feel.
I need some time to sort things out....And I need to talk with my Thylacine.
Im sorry for such a long journal. please forgive me...I dont want you alll in the dark on how I feel. Have a good day everyone. Lots of Love.
First Journal!
General | Posted 14 years agoI dont really have internet yet, I magic'd this from my phone! But I will soon hopefully since I may have a job soon! ^_^ I hope to respond to everyone and be on here more as soon as possible!
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