just give me as much coal as you can afford to. :3 me and my bf are trying to win at least 3rd prize. even if you only can afford to donate one piece, you'll still get a quality piece of work! ^^ feel free to pimp this to help the cause. c:

i see it as, because i haven't gotten many commissions in the past 2 months, the well has pretty much dried up. it's time to move on. i'll leave hints, clues. if you really know me, and my art style, you'll be able to find me. peace.

yeah. found out why my tablet's not working. o3o there's a huge crack up the side of my tablet pen. kinda my fault though, because i bought a cheap tablet. =3=;; despite the many warnings i had gotten. so yeah... :/ i need commissions to buy a bamboo...not being crazy and getting a 30 dollar one, expecting it to work for longer than 2 months. of course, this means i can't do digital commissions, but i CAN do traditional work, and scarves/hats/pawgloves. note me if interested... oAo please...

cuz i'm prolly gonna be bored and stuff later. i make some pretty sweet houses and stuff if you need a builder. o3o;; need something to get my mind off of...yeah...

exactly. i can't do anything right and it made me lose the one person who matters to me. if you don't hear from me within the week, expect the worst.

i'm sorry to everyone who listens to me bitching day in and day out about everything. i just can't see any positive with all this negative in my life right now. >> the only people who listen to me, other than people on here, are my mates, and i don't want to worry them with all my emotional stress... .__. they have enough to worry about already. my relationships are crumbling, which are the only things keeping me from a bullet through the skull, my parents are more bitchy than ever now that the holiday seasons are here and i just feel downright unloved... :/ i've never felt this low. really, i haven't. i don't see many options for my future right now. >> i need to get out of this goddamn town, but have nowhere to go/can't afford it. my job sucks, but i can't find any other ones cuz i live out in the middle of nowhere. im slowly dying cuz my genetics suck ass and i go to sleep bawling my eyes out cuz i can't escape. i can't even sleep anymore because the good dreams have went away and been replaced by nothing but spiraling darkness and nightmares. .__. whatever. tl;dr, amiright? just the insane rantings of a rapidly declining sanity. gonna go to bed and let the madness slowly kill my brain.

i used to make them waaaay back when. o3o you people who knew me from my first dA prolly remember. i made like 50 of them. thinking of commissioning them for a decent price. o3o would anyone be interested?

btw, i'm getting copic markers with the money i get for christmas, in hopes that my work looks more professional and i can get more business. :3

watching that freaky light show with weirdos who put up like a million christmas lights on their house reminded me i'm gonna be alone this year.... .__. what WAS a touchy subject turned into a huge gaping wound. missing sammy and darc was like throwing salt into it. i've never felt so alone in the world, really... :/ idk why i keep ranting about it. santa's not gonna come and take me to sammy's house. as epic as that would be, it can't come true, no matter how much i wish it. >> wishes don't come true, and miracles don't happen to people like me.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2966371/ their heater is dying, and i know what it feels like to be living with no heater. :/

woke up this morning to the sound of my mom throwing all of my stuff away. >> as if that's not bad enough, she made me help her. fucking wonderful, right? at least all my art stuff is still here...and she knows if she touches naru, heads will roll. so he's still here too... *huggles my foxy* idk what to do...if she goes on another rampage like that again, i'm afraid she'll toss something valuable like my ipod or laptop... .__.

honestly, i don't really need anything at all. i'm not looking forward to christmas, cuz the holidays are already stressing me and stuff. i know for sure it's only gonna get worse once we're snowed in and i'm stuck with my mom. been seeing christmas wishlists up everywhere lately on here, and really, if you feel like you must do something, just commission me. i'd be happy as all hell, really. i don't really want any christmas presents... :/ and that goes for my birthday too, seeing as it's christmas eve.

Y U NO UPDATE. OAO i have the whole day planned out to just play around with the new stuff with sammy. BUT IT'S BEING DUMB AND NOT UPDATING. >A< GAAAAAAAAAAAH...

i'm so fucking pissed, it's ridiculous....i just bought a tablet a few months ago, and now it's not working... =__= this thing is a piece of absolute shit... >> it was working and then randomly, it started being all skittery around the screen all weird. looks like i may have to invest in yet another expensive fix... =-= another 50-60 dollars out of my funds for my trip to go see sammy...today's been nothing but terrible...first a hellish day at work, and now this...whatever, i give up. >>

evidently, my mom's sick of getting christmas presents for me, so she told me to pick 3 shirts and she'll get them. XDD YAY PONIES! 8D and miku hatsune. >w< BUT YAY, PONIES!!!!!!

so...my mate wants to collab with me to do a fandub of our favorite manga. >/////> honestly, none of you know, but i used to be a voice actress. not professionally, but i took classes and stuff in high school and could have been one if i wanted to. .////. buuuut, i'm shy nowadays...iunno...

may have to go to the doctor (haha fat chance that's gonna happen.) even though i'm bleeding out slowly, my parents aren't doing shit. i told my mom and she rolled her eyes and just kept talking on the phone. fine. if i die overnight cuz i've bled out, do me a favor and give my family hell. all you need to know is it was stress related and i'm not bleeding profusely. and for once it's not my wrists, and it wasn't self inflicted. SHOCKER. fml...even when i'm dying, nobody in this goddamn house will listen....

this should not be a children's movie/book. the poor dog gets abandoned like 50 bazillion times and left out in the cold. ;-; if i was a kid, i'd cry most likely. watched it cuz we wanted to get my baby cousin the book/doll for christmas and it's seriously like the saddest story. ;3; oh and look, now his best friend got hit by a car. D: poor jingle...

1. I try to help out with decorating/cooking/whatever and my mom/dad bitch at me about it. even when i do it perfectly.

2. Christmas here isn't about family/friends, like it should be. it's about doing things perfectly, or not at all.

3. I only ask for one thing for christmas, and my parents bitch about it (even though i didn't ask for a new pair of ice skates. just some from a secondhand store) and yet, my sister gets a $200 ring and shitloads of other stuff. =__= don't wanna sound like a bitch or anything, but that's sorta unfair.

4. I'm forced to go see my grandparents, who are convinced i'm an athiest, just because i choose not to follow their religion. so what if i'm not a mainstream religion, they need to fucking get used to it.

5. I don't get a birthday cake, because my birthday is on christmas eve. Yet, they get a birthday cake for jesus. =__= how the fuck am i supposed to compete with that?

6. My parents constantly fight.

7. I have to hide in my room to avoid my bitching little sister and my parents.

8. The only two people i want around here can't be here, cuz one's on the other side of the country, one's in australia.

9. My "family" guilts me because i prefer to stay in my room on my computer talking to my mates than spend time with them. (hmm...i wonder why. =__=)

needless to say, i'm halfway to tears of depression/rage right now, cuz i hate my fucking life right now. i came to the conclusion last night that i don't have a "home". a home is where everyone supports you and loves you unconditionally, no matter what happens. i've never had that. :/

my gf decided to take requests to try and learn to draw. C: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2940141/ i'd be forever grateful if you support her. ^^

well...it seems the girl who was sorta like a mother to me all throughout high school has just been an attention whore this whole time. see, she has these "panic attacks". i thought, "hey those don't sound like panic attacks, but whatever, maybe it's a different kind than i have." wrong. she got me all worried about her today, and i get on facebook and she's all happy like "OH MY GAWSH, I'M GETTING TATTOOS FRIDAY!" yeah bitch, you really sound like you're sick... >:I i really hate people who take advantage of nice people, just so they can get attention and stuff. i'd really like to tell her "sorry your jailbait ex screwed up your whole fucking life but you don't need to take it out on other people." but as you guys know, i don't have the balls to. :/ really starting to lose my faith in humanity.

seeing as, i'll prolly be too wasted to even stand tomorrow, i wanna wish chu guys a happy thanksgiving early. don't blame me though. if you had to deal with being judged 24/7 and having to cook with a woman who hates your very guts, you'd get drunk off your ass too.

~Kitty

well...today consisted of me being forced to talk to my mom in the car, slipping out accidently that me and sammy are starting to get really serious. you all know how homophobic she is...so...tomorrow and thanksgiving might not be the happiest of occasions. :/ in other news, i have to prep cook stuff tomorrow, most likely with my mom bitching at me for "doing it wrong" the whole time, and my dad calling me his new favorite nickname for me, crackwhore. don't ask. i don't even know... =3= he happened to call me that LOUDLY in the middle of walmart yesterday. goddess, i'm glad we have alcohol...

got my love for Happy Feet rekindled today. C: bestest movie.

evidently, paypal's shutting people's accounts down if you mention fA, because they're against the selling of artwork, or some shit. just saying, i don't even state a reason for sending money, because it's none of paypal's business what i'm doing. i think it's ridiculous. so i'm posting this now. if you're gonna commission stuff from me, don't state you're buying art. SERIOUSLY. commissions are half of my income, practically. :I i'm being dead fucking serious.

so, evidently drinking a whole monster in the time span of an hour makes me pass out and wake up really really sick... like i feel like i'm gonna throw up. it's that bad. but mom's still making me go to work. e-e way to use your parenting skills there, hun. like i legit feel like i have a fever, i'm dizzy, and tums are NOT HELPING. but they are keeping the gross sick taste out of my mouth...o__e that's about all they're good for. i don't wanna get everyone sick! D8 i have a servsafe certification that took me 2 fucking years of culinary school to study for, and i'm NOT letting her get in the way of that... >< *sighs* well...i guess whatever happens, happens. ;-;