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Brush your teeth
Posted 8 months agoRemember to brush your teeth today!
[NSFW] Insane story, do not read
Posted 10 months agoI get up. My right hand clutching the base of my cock, wrapped in a reusable condom filled with fresh cum. As the philosophers of ancient times had done before me, so haveth I, written furry smut and jerked off to the creations of my mind in a fit of hedonism.
Still reimmersing myself in reality, I take a couple big steps over the assorted piles of stuff littering my room. After all he who desperately tries to bring order into this chaotic world, merely lacks the endurance of a well conducted search. The door connecting my humble abode to the remainder of my living arrangement opens loudly. The warped wood slowly sanding down the door frame. I wary of the corridor lest I wake one or both my cohabitants.
A sight worth sparing them scurries down the hallway (fear not, it is I). Although fear, now that it has been summoned by my wicked words, bolts a pang betwixt my chests, for I have just noticed the entrance to the sleeping chambers of flatmate #1 agape! A whim of fate would have it that the few places from which my potency is not visible, include the head of the bed, and thusly the head of aforementioned cohabitant.
The toiletries in sight - quickly now - i rush to unclose the gate, but dear reader, now we reach the climax of this story, that has inspired this bout of creativity. There in the bathtub, lay she. Sleeping with her blanket, mere moments away from moving aside the protective shower curtains, gazing upon me in all of my glory. But I err. As I will shortly conclude, sleeping in the bathtub is quite uncomfortable and there being no rational reason to forego the much more comfortable sofa bed in our living room, this cannot be reality. And the supposed knee sticking up like a pillar, is more intelligently interpreted as the faucet.
Do not be mistaken!! This was not a short burst of irrationality dispersed with a concise thought. I had reason to believe my dear friend in the bathtub, beyond spontaneous conjecture. She suffers from the most shallow sleep. This point of conflict regularly leads to friction. An open door typically suggest her not being asleep at all! As if this was not enough extraordinary circumstance, she has not more than thirty minutes earlier messaged the common chat, expressing severe displeasure with the flurry of the furry (most humorously not your truly, but our house feline, named "Gubi"). Gubi acted rather hectic, preventing her desired slumber, worsening her mood considerably. Gubi was subsequently banished from her dorm, into the communal living room. The latter - this could probably even be counted as a whole fourth point - being open as well. Returning th the third point I was making just right now, the tubbed blanket was in the very same message revealed to contain cat urine, as in her frenetic romp, her attempt to initiate play, was ignored and then subsequently punished with abovesaid measure.
As you cann infer, dearest reader, two unusualities related to my flatmates resting location. Combining the:
1) Recollection of her, having left her bed 10 times (she had specified this number in her announcemen)
2) Observing the opened door to the dormitorium
3) Observing the suspiciously knee shaped blanket
And if this whole mess was not enough of a bother, while I was cleaning up, Gubi snuck in my room and thus ran the risk of waking the sleeping dog inside. For once this is not a metaphor to be parsed, but the literal dog of my parents that I happen to dog-sit this week. Luckily this event did not leave the realm of fiction.
These have been the most stressful 2 Minutes of my day so far. Farewell.
Still reimmersing myself in reality, I take a couple big steps over the assorted piles of stuff littering my room. After all he who desperately tries to bring order into this chaotic world, merely lacks the endurance of a well conducted search. The door connecting my humble abode to the remainder of my living arrangement opens loudly. The warped wood slowly sanding down the door frame. I wary of the corridor lest I wake one or both my cohabitants.
A sight worth sparing them scurries down the hallway (fear not, it is I). Although fear, now that it has been summoned by my wicked words, bolts a pang betwixt my chests, for I have just noticed the entrance to the sleeping chambers of flatmate #1 agape! A whim of fate would have it that the few places from which my potency is not visible, include the head of the bed, and thusly the head of aforementioned cohabitant.
The toiletries in sight - quickly now - i rush to unclose the gate, but dear reader, now we reach the climax of this story, that has inspired this bout of creativity. There in the bathtub, lay she. Sleeping with her blanket, mere moments away from moving aside the protective shower curtains, gazing upon me in all of my glory. But I err. As I will shortly conclude, sleeping in the bathtub is quite uncomfortable and there being no rational reason to forego the much more comfortable sofa bed in our living room, this cannot be reality. And the supposed knee sticking up like a pillar, is more intelligently interpreted as the faucet.
Do not be mistaken!! This was not a short burst of irrationality dispersed with a concise thought. I had reason to believe my dear friend in the bathtub, beyond spontaneous conjecture. She suffers from the most shallow sleep. This point of conflict regularly leads to friction. An open door typically suggest her not being asleep at all! As if this was not enough extraordinary circumstance, she has not more than thirty minutes earlier messaged the common chat, expressing severe displeasure with the flurry of the furry (most humorously not your truly, but our house feline, named "Gubi"). Gubi acted rather hectic, preventing her desired slumber, worsening her mood considerably. Gubi was subsequently banished from her dorm, into the communal living room. The latter - this could probably even be counted as a whole fourth point - being open as well. Returning th the third point I was making just right now, the tubbed blanket was in the very same message revealed to contain cat urine, as in her frenetic romp, her attempt to initiate play, was ignored and then subsequently punished with abovesaid measure.
As you cann infer, dearest reader, two unusualities related to my flatmates resting location. Combining the:
1) Recollection of her, having left her bed 10 times (she had specified this number in her announcemen)
2) Observing the opened door to the dormitorium
3) Observing the suspiciously knee shaped blanket
And if this whole mess was not enough of a bother, while I was cleaning up, Gubi snuck in my room and thus ran the risk of waking the sleeping dog inside. For once this is not a metaphor to be parsed, but the literal dog of my parents that I happen to dog-sit this week. Luckily this event did not leave the realm of fiction.
These have been the most stressful 2 Minutes of my day so far. Farewell.
