yeah so.....my life really freaking sucks right now......
i've been so angry at my "ex" and making up all this shit in my head to be pissed off about...
and now that i think about it....i was wrong
i still love him
so much that it hurts
and i realize that i've made 3 huge mistakes
1. Telling him we needed to take some time apart......i wouldn't be in this mess if i had never said that, i should of just stuck it out....
2. Not being the one who picked him up when he was at his lowest point and not coming back to him sooner.......it should of been me that night it should of been me that made him realize how special he is and how much he can accomplish
3. loosing him......because i was being stupid i feel that i may have lost him forever. i love him, i never stopped loving him. this was supposed to make him realize that he needed to turn his life around, he was supposed to prove that he really loved me.....and i was a dumbass and stayed away too long and now he's with someone else...because she was there for him when i should of been and wasn't.....he almost killed himself because of me....now all i can think about is him....and how much regret i have...i want him back and i fear that i can never have him again....i'm not going to ask him to leave her becuase that's just fucked up....but how can i live knowing that i can't have the one i love? i want to die now......
seriosusly...fuck my life......i'm a horrible person.....

can't stop listening to this song now
A withered past and a blurry future,
My hearts on an auction,
It goes out to the highest bid.

I live too fast, and I know I will lose her,
But there is an option, to die is to live in her head.

So I'll hang on, never let go.
I dug this pain into my chest.
Instead


One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose, so let me tell you the truth.

A deadly wish but it should've come sooner,
A corpse in a funeral that I would never attend.
There is a light on in the back of this house,
But you're not around, to die is to live in her head.

So I'll hang on, never let go.
I dug this pain into my chest.
It's dead.


One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

So, this goes, out to, the ones that fall in love,
And to, the girl, that filled my dark.
Last night I had the weirdest dream,
That you and I drove up the darkest streets,
Passing through these city lights,
Closure for the kiss that died.


One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first,
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.


One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first,
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose so let me tell you the truth.

(whisper) This goes
Out to
The ones that fall in love
And to the girl
That filled my dark

I'm going to start a tattoo apprenticeship soon.
I've been wanting to do this for awhile and i found someone to do my apprenticeship with.............
.....
....
...
..
.
..
...
....
.....
for free!!!!!!!! :D yes i get to learn how to be a tattoo artist for free! i just have to purchase my own equipment when we get to that phase, which is awesome because i get to pic out everything and it'll all be mine no matter what.

soo i'm really excited! :D it'll be awhile before i actually start tattooing, but hey i'm on my way!


the only bad part is that i have to deal with my tattoo masters' over the top flirting and obvious advances -_- but that's just who he is and his girlfriend is at the shop a lot so maybe she can calm the flirting XD
i've known this guy for YEARS and i respect him highly as an artist, so i can deal with his lecherous ways lol


alsoooooooooo
i've been commissioned to make the chain/scale mail parts of a cosplay outfit :D i'm not allowed to say what the cosplay is until the outfit is complete, but it's going to be awesome and i'm excited to get started on it! i'll be posting pictures of it as i complete it then i'll have the client give me a picture of the whole cosplay outfit completed to put up! :D

annnnnnnnnnndddddddd
i found a shop to sell my chainmail in :D its a really popular shop in a heavy tourist area so i'm happy about that i'm finally going to be making some money off my chain mail! XD

so there's my update! :D lots of exciting things!


ohhhh and i forgot one other thing :3
i has a boyfriend lol
it's a long distance relationship :(
but i loves him :) he's quite amazing and wonderful!!!
were hoping to get him here maybe in the next year, or get me to him after i graduate college and finish my apprenticeship
so....yay :D

Sorry i haven't been on that much lately, been dealing with a lot at school.
So....updates

Got accepted to Rocky Mountain College of Art+Design
Can finally afford to do some much needed restocking
Been working on a large pre~made stock, all still for sale, hoping to sell during the summer
New products
new things with stretchy rings
met someone :3 he's absolutly amazing and wonderful....but so far away T-T like 4 states away
so...yeah...that's what i've been up to

uploads of new products coming soon!
Thanks for reading and watching!

~The Pzyko One

a boy will pick Call of Duty over hanging out with a girl who really likes him


a man will pick flirting in play station home with a girl who really likes him over Skyrim.


^_^

you know what, ireally am. my life is wonderful right now.

i have a good job
i like my classes
i have awesome friends

and the best part about it all is him
i know that we can't be together right now
and that it'll be a long time before we can
and he'll be with other girls until we get together
and i may be with other guys
but seriously it makes me happy just to look at him
i love nothing more than our cam chats :)
i love that makes faces at me to make me smile
i love how insanely dorky and nerdy he is
seriously, he just makes me happy

and i'm glad that i can finally be happy :D

and i'll be even happier when i can be there in person and finally kiss those lips of his and run my fingers through his hair.

life is really good for me right now :)

so share the love people! if you're upset about something, either fix it or go buy yourself some chocolate and make yourself happy :) do it!

ok...seriously...i talked to my PERFECT mate last night. we video cam'd from 1130pm-430am
not only does he have averything i love physically (and then some)
but he has the personality to back it up!

to be honset i've been crushing on this guy for over a year now but i didn't think he liked me until last night.

be still my heart...i may be in love! lol well at the very least i like him A LOT





there's only one problem :(
i live in colorado
he lives in california

sigh i never get anything


anyways...
Happy Valloween everyone :D may your day be filled with love and chocolate!

The Calling and the Dream

When not a soul could be found for me to speak with, when I found no way to express all the pent up feelings I held deep inside myself, art held his hand out to me. Art has been a huge part of who I am as a person for as long as I’ve been able to hold a pencil. I’ve been drawing for most of my life, just copying what I saw originally, gradually forming my own style and my own ideas to put forth to the canvas or paper. Art, in all its glorious forms, has always been my escape from my reality. When I am creating something virgin and completely unique to me, it’s simply freeing. To let go of everything, if only for a moment, and completely immerse myself in my art is such a wonderful and indescribable feeling.
A major factor pushing me towards a degree in the Visual Arts is the way that art can enthrall a person. When I look at art, I fancy to enter the world the artist constructs. It’s alluring to think that you attain a glimpse into the mind of the one who created the piece, and for a moment there’s a connection and something is understood. Each person understands something different and feels something different when they look upon the piece. I want to produce art that causes people to feel something, anything. I want people to look at a poster or a drawing I’ve created and be able to feel something within themselves that they otherwise wouldn’t of felt. I love the psychology of art. You can see a poster on the wall, and if it’s an intriguing image you will inquire upon it’s content. If the poster is not intriguing you pass it by without another thought. I want to make the art that pulls people in.
Another factor pushing me towards a degree in the Visual Arts is that I want to leave my mark on this world, leave something that will always be there even after I am long dead and gone. Art has its way of leaving a lasting impression on people, even if they are unaware of it. Just like someone can remember the lyrics to a song they haven’t heard in years, an image that they connect with will always remain in the back of their minds, lying dormant until something digs it back up. I want to create such works that people will gaze upon them and always remember them.
Through all the careers I have gone through in my head, marine biologist, geologist, figure skater, an artist has always been the most appealing to me. For the better part of my teenage years, I have known that I wanted to create art for the remainder of my life. Art is the only thing that has ever made sense to me, and made absolutely no sense at the same time. Visual art pushes me to better myself, always finding ways to be different and creative in life and through my drawings. I feel in my heart and soul that I am truly meant for this, meant to create. When I’m drawing or designing, everything makes sense in the world, everything is beautiful in one-way or another. Art is my passion, and if I can take that passion and make a life long career out of it, then I can live a happy life.
I have several reasons for wanting to peruse a degree in Visual Arts. All of them are for me, and no one else, which is how I know that it is the right path for me.

long black hair-i mean seriously....i instantly swoon for men with black hair
perferable blue eyes(if you have nice eyes i melt immdediantly)
i like my men like Jack Skellington, but with muscles and awesome hair!
industrial/goth
wears awesome leatherness

loves good music-wanna know what this is? ask! magic
sitting in the rain
enjoys good art
likes to watch movies
plays video games-i like to tag team video games
i like to go to concerts a lot, so he'd have to be into the same music and enjoy going to concerts and rocking it out!
LORD OF THE RINGS is a must. must have knowledge of it and enjoy watching the movies-otherwise i feel like a nerd -_-
i want a guy who'll protect me but isn't always in charge
i want someone to cuddle and kiss and bite, i like to rough house sometimes
i'm a biter, so they need to either be ok with it or enjoy it.
i want someone with emotions, but is still a man.
i want someone who will run through the rain for miles just because i'm upset and hold me for hours.
i want someone to really love me, and not just want sex, though i am not aposed to sex. i have a personal rule about it, and if you can work you're way into my heart then you need not worry about it *disclaimer* i am a bit of a freak.....in and out of bed....so...yeah...buyer beware XD

oh ann i absolutely LOVE musicians....yeah so if you have long hair and tell me you're in a band....auto-swoon! i like artists as well, i'm a creative person, i need a creative partner.

yeah personality means a lot to me....


i got bored....so...here's what i like in a guy.....rarw

does anyone have a working/save-able Pokemon Crystal Version for the GameBoy Color that are willing to give away/trade/sell? i really really really want that game, i haven't had it in so long, i want to play it again. so please let me know. thanks.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4299986/

decal contest! go forth

the winner of the contest is number 15
congrats!

here's the link to the video of the lovely millie choosing the winner.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mza.....ature=youtu.be



there will be another contest in a month or two, so keep a weatherd eye out for it!
thank you for all who entered! :D


~The Pzyko One

am going to be breaking it off with my boyfriend of 2 years on saturday.
i'm just not happy with him anymore, and he's not happy with me.
he's been blaming everything on me, constantly screaming at me
he's been getting drunk and high, even though i'm allergic to weed, and popped pills tonite.
he hangs out with his ex girlfriends, one of which just had a baby and is doing all his homework for him (the homework i told him i could help him with)
he's extremely jealous of every guy i talk to
he went through my phone when i wasn't there and when my dad yelled at him to stop he kept going through it until he said "put the fucking phone down now, i don't care if she looked at your phone, that's my daughters phone" fyi i never went through his phone.
he blows me off to hang out with his friends all the time but blames me for never spending time with him
he says i don't make time for him, and i don't plan the dates out for him
he's jealous of the car my mother and i bought for me (using inhertiance money)
he says that i know what i want to do in life and he doesn't and i need to support him, but he shoots down every single idea i give.
all he wants to do is illegal shit.
he got mad because i didn't support him when he told me he wanted to do illegal drag racing on private property(trespassing) when he doesn't even have his liscence yet.


so tell me if i really am just being a bitch, or if i right to say that it's time to end it, and make myself happy.

the contest is now closed, results will be posted later! via video of my dog picking the winner! good luck to all envolved!

~The Pzyko One

huzzah i got free tea. it was only $1 but, hey i won't look a gift horse in the mouth.
went to go buy my tea, because i'm kinda sick and it helps my throat, and the lady said oh no, don't worry about it, he took care of it. she pointed to the gentleman standing across the counter. i said, Did you really? he said yes, have a good week. huzzah free tea!

i am going through a financial problem right now, and probably won't be able to restock for awhile.
and i don't have very many colors in scales right now, i actually only have 3 colors in stock enough to make a scale bracelet.
so i'm going to change the main prize to a Stretchy 6 in 1 bracelet, granted that i have the colors desired in stock.
to put this into perspecktive, i just lost my job and i now only work 10 hours a week (if i'm lucky).
so i'm rather tight on money. it's not fair to cancel the contest, but i need to offer something i can deliever.
i'm really sorry about this, believe me it sucks more for me than for you...
i'm still giving away free chain mail, so don't worry that hasn't changed.
please get more people involved, i could really use some commissions right now.

ok that's over with. please enjoy the rest of your day. the contest has 2 weeks left!!

~The Pzyko One

yes, i'm going to try and make my own business.
i want to be a graphic designer, working for local rock bands.
I will be making CD covers and inserts, Logos, Posters and Flyers, Advertisments, Shirts, Decals, Stickers, and taking photos for the bands(the local ones anyway).
I'm going to have my own company that basically free lances.

i'm still working on it, but i think it'll be fun :) it's what i want to do with my life anyways sooooo
here goes nothing!

i'm the one in the corset lol me and my friend do a webshow weekly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grFY.....ature=youtu.be
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grFY.....ature=youtu.be

well people are telling me that i'm overreacting and expecting to much from people

however i will have to change the prize up, i can't give away something so big for nothing, it's an expensive piece.

so the prize is now a stretchy 6 in 1 bracelet.

please enter by saying you want to enter. that gets you one entry. if you buy something from me you get a second entry. if you buy 2 you get 3 entries, and so on and so forth.

ends in 1 month, i want a lot of entries for this one.

Journal Pimpage is mandatory
+Watch is mandatory as well

good luck everyone, i'll have one of my dogs pick the winner.

Also, the more entries there are the more prizes there will be.
15 entries-one stretchy 6 in 1 bracelet
35 entries-one stretchy 6 in 1 bracelet, One 6 in 1 bracelet
55 entries-one stretchy 6 in 1 bracelet, One 6 in 1 bracelet, one ring
75 entries-one stretchy 6 in 1 bracelet, One 6 in 1 bracelet, one ring, one hand flower
if over 100 entires i'll reintroduce the ridgeback necklace

ok so go get your friends and get them in this contest! go go go

~The Pzyko One


Entries
1  atreynu
2  lordofflamingroses
3  zer0sanguine
4  scales4sales
5  pinki-husky
6  snowfluffy
7  Pietro.Sergal
8  Byere
9  twincash
10  wiskar
11  shadowdragon_f0x
12  krystal_aristokats
13  coffincadaver
14  chandlerss1234
15  ladyALT69
16  psycho6065

well obviously no on is interested....usually when i have a contest i get at leaast 1 person interested but....so yeah nevermind forget it.
no one wants to draw for me, i understand.

no more contests for awhile. 6 months at least.

k, that's all. uploads sometime this week.

~The Pzyko One

haven't done a contest in a bit, so here's one.
this is going to be different than the others though.

To enter this contest you must draw me something!
I adore bats.....so instead of making everyone draw my complicated ass character, i'm going to have you draw me a bat!
You can have the bat doing whatever, and it can be any kind of bat (my fav is the Egyptian Fruit Bat).
I will not be judging on skill, i will be judging on creativity.
meaning, you can draw the most detailed and realistic bat ever drawn, but if it's not doing anything then it won't win.
draw me a picture of a bat nomming fruit, i'd love that because it's interesting.
so be creative!!
but do try your best at the drawing.
it can be color, black and white, traditional, digital, whatever you want!

this contest will close in 2 weeks, then i will have my friend help me decide on the winner!
there may be runner up prizes if i really like a piece that didn't win.
you don't have to give me the piece you draw if you don't win....but i would like it very much!!

Now, what everyone's been waiting for...the Prize!
The Prize will be an aluminum Dragon Back necklace choker. Your choice of color, design, and patterns.
if there are runner up prizes they will be....
Stretchy Dragon Tail Bracelet
Regular Dragon Tail Bracelet
Stretchy Ring

It would be much appreciated if you would post a journal or some type of advertisement for this contest, the more people that join, the more fun it'll be!! if you do post a journal, give me the link please :3

Pictures can be submitted to me via notes! send me the link. i'll compile them all together and upload that.

If you plan on entering, please state so, so i can make a list of everyone potentially involved! thank you!


Ok i think that's all! SO GET DRAWING!!!!

~The Pzyko One

I am a shadow
i am always there
behind everyone when they shine
and there to embrace when darkness falls
but in the brightest moments
i am forgotten
and left behind
i am the darkness we all have
deep within ourself
only i show it on the outside
i'm stepped on
i have things thrown upon me
i am disregarded
i am a shadow
there when you want me
forgotten when you don't

i am a shadow
in a dark room
never to be seen
never to be heard
never to be noticed
never to be loved

Ok commissions are open now. but i'm only going to take on a few at a time.
So my Que will be 5. once those 5 are filled, i will complete all of them and the reopen commissions. i overwhelmed myself a month ago so i need to do this organized.

[Spot 1]
[Spot 2]
[Spot 3]
[Spot 4]
[Spot 5]

So please note me if you are interested in a commission!!

~The Pzyko One

P.S. happy new year!!

i'm going out of town for a little over a week. commissions are closed and will remain closed for quite some time.
merry holidays to everyone! blessed be

so two men, in full army uniforms, came into my work this morning to get some food.
the girl next to me took they're order and i reminded her to give them the discount.
she didn't do it, so before she took they're money i put the discount on.
she told me no we don't do that, i said yes we do, they deserve a discount go ask the manager.
so she does then the manager comes over and starts bitching me out for giving them the discount (in front of them) saying its corporate policy not to give them a discount.
so i was like whatever, they left and i made sure they got the discount anyway.
they came up to me later and said, you really didn't have to get in trouble for us, but we do appreciate it.
i told them, no it's not ok for them to do that, you served our country the least we can do is give you a dollar or two off your meal.
i thanked them for their service and brooded about how pissed i was for the rest of the day.
they continued to yell at me so eventually i told them, hey would you like to tell my mom that we don't do military discounts?
they looked at me like wtf you talking about, so i said my mom served in the armed forces for 10 years.
i was born on an army base.
so forgive me for being adament and respectful towards those who serve....fucking bitches...

i'll be uploading a few things tonite, including a new product i've made :) chainmail sheath!!!! yes it's quite a pain in the ass but it looks awesome sauce so far!!