I’m more active on Twitter than here

https://twitter.com/theelsian?lang=en

just throwin that out there

that is all

Hey remember when I said my old job was shutting down for good on December 7th? They had a change of plans and decided to shut us down November 9th. Isn't that lovely?

Well shortly after that, I managed to get a transfer to a part of the business that's about to be sold off to another company by the end of the year. They pay more per hour ($10.50, which still isn't all that) though they don't offer full time. They do have much better incentives though if you do alright.

And THEN after that, I got a call back from another job I applied for a month prior, had an interview, and got an offer yesterday. They start at $13, which is just enough to be considered livable in this area. It's also part time though it sounds like they're a bit more generous about what's considered part time there. Overall they're considered a highly sought after place to work for so I'm glad I was able to get in. That's on top on what I can get from the other place. :)

So I guess getting laid-off was the best possible thing to happen. :V

Welp, looks like my job is officially closing Dec. 7th.

I have a second job, but the state of Virginia is still fucking that over and taking the entire check. I only stayed to prevent them from going after my main job until I could get something that pays better or I could raise some funds. The issue with that stems from a trust fund my parents failed to file taxes on, and I'm stuck with the burden. They still want $9k (after knocking down about $50k filing them properly) which is still beyond what I can afford right now...

I have enough saved to at least cover one month of rent if worst comes to worst, but the job hunt is on now.

Im not a huge fan of doing stuff like this, but if you want to support you can check out my Patreon, my Clickteam Fusion platform engine or PayPal:

https://www.paypal.me/Marquis757
https://www.patreon.com/RageM
https://ragem.itch.io/rpm-rages-pla.....ickteam-fusion

Single character commissions (SFW mind you) have been on my mind for a bit too since I got a bit more confidence with my drawing ability. The plan was to drop the second job once I worked out a few kinks but it looks like I gotta reevaluate a bit.

Yep, my 20s are now officially behind me and have now become a fresh new 30 year old person. Wonder how many wild rides will occur during this time of my life lol.

Oh by the way, I play Monster Hunter World a lot now on Steam (if I'm free of course). If you wanna go kill shit together, add RageMario (or Uncle Rage) to Steam. I got a couple of days off so I'll be on a bit more. Currently HR11 and primarily use the Switch Axe, so hopefully I won't accidentally explode all over you. :V

So I may have potentially found the root cause of why I've been slowing down on my output over the years, and it seems that it was more than just a lack of free time or being lazy.

Apparently I've had severe Sleep Apnea for quite a while now. Had people not told me that I stop breathing and snore extremely loudly while I sleep, I honestly would've never found out. Over time I've been getting more and more lethargic throughout the day. If I sat still in one spot for just a minute I'd almost immediately start dozing off, so I'd drink a bunch of water or energy drinks and move around just to stay awake. This also seems to have altered my mental state as well, since I've been getting more easily frustrated trying to work on something and was very irritable. I usually would drop something shortly after I would start and move on to something else and repeat the process. The more it happened the less motivated I became.

Recently I managed to get my hands on an Automatic CPAP and started using that to help with the Apnea. After just the first day I felt like an entirely different person. For once I didn't stretch out the snooze on the alarm only to wake up 10 minutes before I had to leave, but I had a rush of energy I haven't felt in a very long time. I stayed alert pretty much the entire time, stopped slurring my speech, and was actually motivated to do stuff again.

Basically it feels like I may have gotten back my old self again and I'm ready to get back to doing stuff. Course I still have the issue of not having a whole lot of free time but perhaps now maybe I'll spend less time dozing off or dicking around only YouTube after I get home. :V

(I also bought a dinky little MIDI controller cause I also wanted to try my hand at learning music in the future, hopefully.)

i turned 29 today. better enjoy my last moments being in my twenties :V

also apologizes for the lack of updates. ive been working full time at one of my jobs and im usually gone about 12 hours a day without too many days off. i just so happened to request the whole week off to recharge myself and maybe do something else for once lol. i put a thing in scraps just earlier

Good news, my mom managed to defy all expectations and was able to recover! The doctors were already signing off on her not making it, asking us if we should allow CPR and such. After a week of no activity she was able to open her eyes again and started talking again. She made it out of the hospital, and is now in a rehab facility for physical therapy and controlling her substance abuse. She's still not totally out of the woods, as her liver is still severely damaged and may possibility have to go on dialysis. Still, she was given a second chance so perhaps she can finally make a turn around.

Next up, I've decided that I wanted to expand the use of my Patreon page, and I've started to release full versions of some older content here and there (which includes SAI/PSD files). Newer stuff, whenever they get produced, will likely follow a similar structure (Nearly all of my posted images are about 50% res). A version of my Clickteam platformer engine is also available as a $1 option (it's normally $5), giving you a better idea on how it works unlike the LITE version I produced a while back. Only doing $1 and $3 tiers because I don't really trust my erratic schedule anymore. %D

https://www.patreon.com/RageM

I know I've been fairly inactive as of late, but my personal life hasn't been the greatest as of late, and it seems to be getting worse...

My mother had to go to the hospital last week for a bad bladder infection. During her stay there they discovered that her liver had developed to advanced cirrohsis and alcoholic hepatitis. Her portal blood flow has apparently reversed since no blood has been able to get in her liver and toxins have been building up in her body. She's rarely talking right now and doesn't seem to acknowledge I'm even there. The doctors broke it down to me, and told me she only has a 20% chance of surviving the next 90 days based on her MELD score...this is on top of having congestive heart failure.

It's been eating at me for a long while and I can't really focus. I already have enough problems as is, honestly
...I just wished she had listened to us. I feel like I've failed since I never managed to get her in rehab to get clean. If the shit does hit the fan then there's the lack of life insurance on any of us.

I hate asking for this, but if you want to donate you can visit paypal.me/Marquis757. Moral support is always welcome as well.

I really do want to get back into the swing of things and produce like before, but I have to get through this part of life I suppose...

This is how she looks right now: https://twitter.com/RageMario/statu.....77332489793537

I probably should've mentioned before, but I've been posting more sketches/WIP junk on my Tumblr and Twitter accounts. Maybe I should get back to dumping that junk here too (and especially DeviantArt)...

http://ragedraws.tumblr.com/
https://twitter.com/ragemario

also buy my CTF 2.5 engine :DDDD
https://ragem.itch.io/

I had an account on there for a while, but I never actually tried using it. So I figured I might as well try and use it, no harm in trying it out.

https://www.patreon.com/user?u=2335703

As it is now I'm just using it as a plain jane tip jar type deal, no extra fancy rewards or anything like that. I'm aware my art output has been a bit stunted as of late, mostly due to work and my engine slowly gaining some more traction. once i get the ball rolling again ill look into further expanding on this thing. :V

Hey folks, I'm going be holding a special contest on my Twitter account later on tonight for a chance to get a free copy of Clickteam Fusion 2.5 Standard (worth $99) and my platform engine RPM (Currently on sale for $4.99). This will be for the Steam version of CTF 2.5, so you'll need a Steam account to redeem it. You'll also need an account on itch.io to redeem the download key for RPM.

To enter, I'll make a tweet that you'll have to like/RT. I'll then summon a random number god to choose a winner, based on when you like/RT. You'll get a direct message from me on Twitter with a link to both items. Entries will be accepted for about 24 hours, and then the winner will be chosen! Check out the links below for more junk :V

https://twitter.com/ragemario - My Twitter
https://ragem.itch.io/rpm-rages-pla.....ickteam-fusion - RPM on itch.io
http://clickstore.clickteam.com/ope.....tform_movement - RPM on ClickStore
http://store.steampowered.com/app/248170/ - Clickteam Fusion 2.5 on Steam

its been two long years, but I think I finally got my damn engine down to a somewhat presentable state. it's available for $6.99

https://ragem.itch.io/rpm-rages-pla.....ickteam-fusion

now i can finally wind down on this a little bit (at least until everyone discovers a bunch of bugs!) and begin to focus more on other things :V

hey all you clickteam fusion users. yes all two of you

so many moons ago I posted about how I was making a platform-type game engine thing, to be used to make a game i probably wont ever get the resources to make. recently ive more or less finished the essentials on it, fixing as many bugs as possible (and there was a shit-ton goddamn). I've posted more about it on the Clickteam forums, and will likely sell it in their asset store (minus all the copyright infringment of course). will prolly have to somehow scrape up cash to get some fancy pixel artist to use as an example. :V You can check it out here:

http://community.clickteam.com/thre.....tform-Movement


...right so mabye i should start scribbling now

im 28 now

go me

in the 10 years i've been here i don't think I've ever seen FA goof this hard :V

also sorry for the inactive spell...again. stuff happened ya know?

I had an art block relapse lol.

This time it lasted about a month or so as opposed to like 6 years. Suppose I'm getting better at pinpointing the issue now. :P

Now I just need like, free time and junk. Work suddenly decided to give me hours again. No days off for at least 2 weeks or so.

P.s. I've also been considering doing commissions for once. The idea is to cough out a single character sketch for like maybe $5-$10 or something.

I figured a smaller price point would be more attractive, while simultaneously not trying to slave over a full drawing for hours for potentially less than minimum wage (I don't draw terribly fast). :V

They're not open yet, but it's an idea I wanna put out there to gauge interest.

and...

and...

Well, I think it may very well be one of the best games I played in a very long time. This is coming from someone who doesn't really play too many turn-based RPGs. I don't know if its the strong writing/characters, the ultra catchy soundtrack, the unique take on battles, or the legit feels I had during the course of the game, But...it all just came together into one hell of an experience for, and I gotta give props to Toby Fox for pulling that off.

I don't think I'll ever spend a better $10 on anything else ever again.

Runde brought this up in my last journal, and its been on my mind for a good while now, so lets talk about it.

If you haven't noticed, a lot of my recent drawings/sketches have primarily been of my own lizard things. For about 10 years now I've always been wanting to do more with these guys, primarily some sort of Metroidvania-style platformer (the main reason that engine I made exists) or even a comic (probably more doable). The problem of course is that I kinda lack the necessary skills to pull off something like that. The only thing I really have to show for it are some of the characters and some abstract ideas about what they are. I've never really been able to form any kind of coherent plot to have them do anything, or a reason to care about them (i.e. I still have no clue why exact Beldima became a ghost-snake thing, I just liked the design idea). People do seem to like the character designs so far, so I suppose that's a plus. :V So I'd definitely would need to run across some writers, other artists, designers, composers, all that fun junk to get it to work...except I have no clue how much any of that would cost in the long run. On top of that I'm not all that great at pitching ideas, especially with what little I've actually settled on. I dunno, maybe it needs some more time in the oven before its ready (maybe another 10 years :P).

Should mention that the official name of this project is called "Lacertia", which obviously invovles a bunch of reptile junk. Because I love reptiles ok gawd.

As for Patreon, I've seen a bunch of folks starting up one of these to make a few extra bucks for support. Of course as you know I could use all the help I can get at this point...I just don't know exactly what to offer. My drawing output is rather erratic with few completed works ever coming out. A lot of what I currently produce is just mindless scribbles that may or may not turn out into a full drawing (provided the sketch even reaches that point). My rather dubious access to the internet doesn't help much either (I'm stuck on phone internet, which fluctuates between 4G and dreadful 2G), so uploading large files could be a problem as well. I suppose the idea of making a few bucks could probably change that...

I dunno, maybe its just my anxiety talking and I just need to get over it or something.

(But actually talking about it for once is a good first step.)

I really don't like talking about my personal issues, but here me out.

Long story short, the State of Virginia saw fit to garnish 100% of one of my paychecks. This stems from a poorly mismanaged trustfund where my mom thought it would be cool not to file taxes on it for about 6 years before I turned 18, and not tell me about it until I started getting letters. While I did managed to go through a bunch of hoops and hurdles to get the info needed to file all 6 years, that still left me with an astronomical tax bill (about +$100,000) that's essentially impossible for me to pay. Would've been nice to know before the fund itself got trashed on shit we didn't actually need (or even still have). I really blame myself for letting that happen, rather than just running off somewhere else on my own.

I barely earn over 1k each month, which is enough to cover rent/bills/food. The problem is that I can't really afford too much else, particularly a good tax lawyer of some sort to help me out of this bind. I want to file for bankruptcy but I'm not sure if that really covers owed taxes. A Offer in Compromise might be my only option, with the big issue then is whether or not I'll still be able to pay bills properly. Basically I gotta get something going before next month hits.

If I suddenly go dark, you'll know why.

The State of Virginia really doesn't give a shit about you or your living situation, just your money (which was very apparent during my calls with them). Never live here.

Beating the art block (but not lazy :P) wasn't the only thing I achieved...

Some of you may know me from another forum before I came here, were the folks messed around with game design programs like Clickteam and GameMaker.

...I kinda got my hands on Fusion 2.5 a while back during a Steam sale, and want to try that stuff again. So I'm developing my own general-purpose platform engine for it. Currently I've decided to replicate movements in various games as a way of testing it, starting with Yoshi's Island. (minus Baby Mario, so a little Yoshi's Story too):

https://www.mediafire.com/?ft7ibceyyg8o5tz

There's not much you can do aside from run around and try and break the engine, though I made a screen specifically for that if you press "1" along home row. :V

Controls:

---

Arrow Keys - Move
Z - Jump
Hold Z - Hover
X - Tongue / Cancel Egg / Dash (Base Engine only)
Space - Crosshair / Throw Egg (they're infinite)
Ctrl - Stop Crosshair
Down (in Mid-Air) - Ground Pound
Enter - Pause
S - Show Debug Info
+ (Num.Pad) - Increase HP
- (Num.Pad) - Decrease HP
A - Moonjump
1 - Swap Stage

---

The XBOX controller works too, so just mash buttons until stuff happens.

I suppose if this develops further and I'm somehow able to get the resources, maybe I could finally do that thing I've been meaning to do...

i turned 27 today

hurray

http://ragedraws.tumblr.com/

heres another outlet ill start dumping crap at too

once i make more of course!

http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ni...../1100-6428839/

...my condolences to everyone in his family and Nintendo.

...holy crap man this is just...

aaaaaaaaa

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17048083/

javanshir made an ultra cute rendition of Ruby aaaa

shower him with love and gallons of beer!