Behemuffin, a great artist knows a lot about figure drawing techniques and draws varied, mostly hyper furry stuff. He's one of my favorite artists. He taught me a lot about all kinds of things figure drawing related and I can definitely learn a lot more from him.

However that might not be the case anymore, problem is he's about to be evicted from his living place and he'll have to move to somewhere that will impact a lot of things for him in a bad way, one being that he won't be able to draw the things he likes. He might never come back is what I understand from him.

I don't know what to do, I don't know how I could help him. For one he lives in Brazil so I understand that makes things more difficult in multiple ways.

If anyone knows how to support him please do!

Had a lot of 9:00 to 17:00 lab work days this week, getting more tense again thanks to the study which makes my health problems a lot worse. It's obvious that stress and tension I get from the study I follow makes me feel a lot worse. It's definitely tiring me out.
I luckily am doing decent when it comes to studying the theory for the exam. I don't get that much done but at least I do a little bit every day,

When it comes to art I try to do at least a little bit of gesture practice every day. I however still have to learn a lot more from the figure drawing book('s) which I sadly don't have the energy for anymore at the end of the day.
I obviously am far from having a solid understanding about figure drawing and like most beginner artist's I have to much of a focus on details which in the end just looks bad when the shapes don't match up. I want to properly learn it this time, it's going to take a lot of time.
Hope I keep my focus on that.

As for everything else in my life, finally something changed over here as my brother's girlfriend finally got kicked out/left the house. Everyone in here works or studies a lot except for her. She was basically living here for free, didn't even do much chores despite being the only one at home at all times, eating all the the things I buy for myself before I even had a bit of it myself (she's really overweight so yea she eats a lot), complaining that she doesn't feel well and even complains that I don't do enough around here even though I'm dieing from the stress the study gives me. Especially this week she dared to open her mouth about me when I'm working myself into the ground from lab work.
That last one really made me mad, I'm glad that she's gone.

So yea that's what's been going on lately, I definitely need to fix my sleeping schedule.

My study starts up again next week and things haven't improved for me. The last few days I slept even worse than before until last night where I had absolutely no sleep at all thanks to my health problems that instead of slowly recovering from it have become worse again. Not really strange as my mental state influences it a lot and the start of my study coming closer and closer only made more tense.
Overall I always feel a performance pressure, like someone is always watching over my shoulder and judging me for whatever I do right or not, but never telling me. For study it's normal, they need to motivate students to do their things but for me it's a bit too much. I feel the same thing for everything else to, whatever I do enough in the house, if I do good enough for my art. I always have this stupid image of a perfect student or whatever which I think of most. I always think I have to be this good just because I'm what 25 now.
It's because it's hard for me to see anything but the end, what people expect of me to get done, so it's hard for me to see the beginning and I'm completely blind to progression. So it goes for my study as I don't know where to start and what the proper way to do it is and how much time it would take me to get it done. It looks pointless to me because I can only see the end that looks unreachable for me.
Same goes for my art, I haven't properly started to practice it again until 2 days ago. It's way too late but I shouldn't think of that, it's a start and I should keep going.
This entire free time I had I mostly wasted away with doing nothing and a little bit of learning driving license theory as I was pushed more into finishing that rather than my study. I finished the driving license theory book but I forgot most parts because of how this book is put together so I won't get the theory exam done either, I have to put that on a pause for now.
I already know from myself that suddenly working myself till I drop these last few days isn't going to help me, it's going to do the very opposite. I don;t have to perform properly for anyone, I shouldn't worry about doing everything like others do it. I have to do it in a way that works for me, Who cares about how old I am, and that I can do so little even at this age! If I don't find a way that works for me I will keep staring at this and it will keep happening. I need to find a system that works for me, a way to organize my days, my weeks that works for me.
Since I feel a lot of performance pressure while drawing I can't really put art in my (I hate to say this word) relax time. I have to properly There's 3 main things I have to think about in my day going in order from most important to least, my study, relaxation time (this word sounds as if I'm lazy), and art practice time. I also have to consistently go jogging, like 2-3 times a week to start off with. For both art and jogging I have to realize I start from the beginning and that there's no shame at not being good at it, If I stay consistent at it I will eventually become better, but driving myself insane with how bad my art is or pushing my body till I drop while jogging isn't going to help. I have to do things at my own (slow) phase but do keep at it.

In short: I should've done some early preparation for my study, go jogging consistently to slowly start recover from my health problems and possibly finished my theory driving exam in the last couple of weeks that I had nothing else to do at. Now next week my study starts and I have not done any of those properly. Rather than working myself into the ground I instead want to build up a system so I at least get something done at a consistent rate.

So I wanted to save up for a tablet as I mentioned in earlier journals and thought doing commissions again would be a good idea.
I however don't think I ask enough for the amount of time that I put in these, It usually takes me several days to complete one piece. On top of that I'm also not that well known, especially not for doing commission.
I asked some other artists for advice and I think it's best if I do something in the range of €40-45,- for fully shaded pieces and some extra is always welcome, that would help out a lot.
I also wonder about how to let more people know that I'm open for commissions? Perhaps theres some group for hyper muscle stuff?

So any opinions on this and some help spreading the info would be nice.

I'm actually already open, I'll come up with some more detailed commission info later.

Sleeping problems aren't fixed yet, I'm getting tired of it all. I think the problem is because I honestly see no moments in my life where I go out to have some fun for once. It's probably because I lack contact with other people while I do desire to meet with others. The one time I had fun for once was at Eurofurence, meeting people with the same interests. Thanks to some help I was finally pushed to try contact a student I know from last year, hopefully I'll be able to meet up with him once. That should help me motivate a bit.
Being only around my family is only getting me more irritated as the days pass.

Tablet and commissions
When it comes to art I'm actually getting tired of looking at the same crappy stuff I draw. I'm getting really irritated of not being able to do digital art, the colors, shading and fine polish it has is what my stuff doesn't. It's about time I get a new tablet, problem is that I don't know if I can afford it besides the food and study costs.
I don't think it's going to work but I thought doing some commissions would help. The way I look at it I don't ask enough for the amount of time I put into a piece, on the other hand I'm not really popular which means less likely there's that many people interested in them + I'm not known for doing commissions.
So basically, I want to do some commission work if anyone is interested and I hope it's ok if I increase the prices a bit.

Sleeping problems aren't fixed yet, I'm getting tired of it all. I think the problem is because I honestly see no moments in my life where I go out to have some fun for once. It's probably because I lack contact with other people while I do desire to meet with others. The one time I had fun for once was at Eurofurence, meeting people with the same interests. Thanks to some help I was finally pushed to try contact a student I know from last year, hopefully I'll be able to meet up with him once. That should help me motivate a bit.
Being only around my family is only getting me more irritated as the days pass.

Tablet and commissions
When it comes to art I'm actually getting tired of looking at the same crappy stuff I draw. I'm getting really irritated of not being able to do digital art, the colors, shading and fine polish it has is what my stuff doesn't. It's about time I get a new tablet, problem is that I don't know if I can afford it besides the food and study costs.
I don't think it's going to work but I thought doing some commissions would help. At one point the amount of time I put into one piece and the price for it don't seem right to me, on the other hand I'm not really popular which means less likely there's that many people interested in them + I'm not known for doing commissions.
So basically, I want to do some commission work if anyone is interested and I hope it's ok if I increase the prices a bit.

Study
Earlier this week I had a appointment with the dean and study advisor and we talked about how I should continue my study. I'll be taking it easier this year, taking longer for things as my last year was a complete waste. The idea is that I half of the classes that I didn't manage to so that I at least have some progression rather than working myself to death and not getting anywhere. I hope this will work out and that I can also proceed to focus on exercising so I can finally recover. Hopefully I can also find ways to get my mind off of only thinking about my study all the time, like when I went to Eurofurence and actually had some fun for once.

Psychologist
Went to the psychologist earlier this week, went only for the review so they kinda know why I come. My actual first real appointment will be in a month. Hopefully I can get this competitive thing out of my head so I don't have to worry about thinking that I have to be like others, like this stupid perfect image I get from everyone.

Tablet
I've wanted to draw digital art for years now. I notice a lot of people do enjoy how I'm one of the few people artists here that still does traditional stuff, but that's mainly because I'm forced to as I don't have a tablet myself. I had a Wacom Bamboo Fun before but that thing had really bad drivers which frustrated me to no end. I'm hoping to find a new tablet that I can afford and not like those gold plated Intuos things that cost a few thousand euros. I found this site before http://www.thebestgraphicstablets.c.....phics-tablets/ but even than I don't know so myself + I don't know what and where to buy them. I'm hoping that there's one I can get in Netherlands, I did see that some sites had shipping options but that one time I bought a €5,- comic book from one of my favorite artists and had to pay €36,- shipping costs on top left a pretty bad impression of what shipping means to me.

So alright EF, the first furry convention I've ever gone to and also the first time I traveled alone. It was quite the experience. Iwent there by train and stayed at a hotel a few metro rides away from the convention. I didn;t knew for how long I wanted to stay so I only booked for 3 days and I booked a train that left really early later on so I only really followed 2 full days of it, but they were still really fun days.

When I first arrived at the convention I already saw the first few fursuiters. I have a awkward kinda fear of theme park mascots, mainly that I don't know how to respond to someone in a suit like that. At first I was trying to avoid them as much as possible but I did find that some of them looked really nice. Got to registration and after checked what the event was all about. Apparently the actual panels and other events didn't start until close to the end of the first day so that was a bit unlucky with how I booked for such a short time. I mainly went around and after awhile also started to take pictures of the fursuiters from a little distance away. It was pretty fun to see how many of these fursuiters went around. These 2 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17223176/ were some of my favorites, I nicknamed the right one Laser Wolf for myself cause I didn't knew who they were.
After a while I found the Artist Lounge which is simply a big room with a couple of tables where ppl were drawing about, so I went there and drew a bit as well and met a couple of artists that I didn't knew and some that I did knew art from like  pranktail and  Murcifer. Also the only place I could draw naughty art without thinking too much about it. I did a trade there which I will upload later, first time I find out a trade means trading the physical thing.
On the 2nd day there were a lot of panels one being for people that came to their first furry convention like me. There was Uncle Kage explaining things in a funny way with the head of security and a fursuiter there as well. I really want to know who that fursuiter was because they were really funny, I drew a little 4 panel comic of that which I will upload later. Most of the other panels didn't seem like a interesting thing for me to go to so I went around again and drew a bit too. At the Dealers Den I met Ultraviolet and after that I also finally met  Vader-San in person like: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17470281/.
And I also went to the dance party in the evening/night with most of the fursuiters there, that was really fun. I don't really ever go to these and I'm a bit too shy to dance but I tried a little bit.
Last day when I went back I looked around for the last bit but didn't do much.

Next time I will go and follow the entire thing.

Big journal later, I'm tired from the long ride back home but I can say this, I had the best time of my life!

Yea! I'm 25 now.
I didn't manage to invite the one friend I know in person so I have nothing today...
I'll try to invite him anyway for some other day this week, go watch a movie with my friend and family and go eat somewhere afterwards, that's how I celebrate my birthdays now. My lack of sleep thanks to my health problems is really breaking me though so I didn't manage to do a thing for today.

I noticed what I was doing wrong and what I'm doing better now with my art. I've always been busy getting all the details right which always takes a lot of time. Drawing these more simple looking figures and not bothering getting everything right allows me to work a lot faster, aside from that I do more of the basics of figure drawing this way which is more important than the details. Basically I'm sketching more freely now which is what I need to keep at it.
Also I notice how much time I wasted on doing birthday art for some of my favorite artists, I shouldn't do that anymore I figure. I put a 2 hour limit on birthday art, I shouldn't make overly complex projects out of it, I should draw more for myself.

So my birthday is coming up again, I'll turn 25 at the 11th of august. I guess what I found slowly over the past few months is that I shouldn't try to do things because other's expect a certain hight of things from me. I should try to be happy with what I have and all that. I've become actually more accepting, more happy with the things that I draw. I'm not a masterful artist but others think I do pretty well so I should take it, I still need a lot of improvement but that doesn't mean that the things I draw are plain bad.
For example this new character I'm drawing which is based on Kitora's style, I still know exactly how to draw it correctly but I'm trying anyway and sketch freely as I go. Obviously I can't draw it the same way, the original artist does it for years and had his own way of learning it so it's pretty normal that it will take me some time to do it right, even more importantly my style will always be different as it should be. Being a complete copy cat isn't good.

This is going to be 2 journals in one cause I don't see why I should spread this out when I know what i want to write now.
Top will be about commissions, bottom will be about life stuff.

Commissions:
Seeing as my family is starting to get financial problems it starts to force more and more upon me that I need to earn money as well, get a job and all that. I will try to look for a side job but of course the most preferred way for me would be for me to earn it by doing commissions. Obviously I'm not that good and definitely not fast enough to really properly earn enough to get by with but at least I can try to show that it does earn me something, that's my way of thinking anyway.

So anyway I hope anyone is interested
Most info can be found here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14704099/
I will have to update this at some other time, my gallery has enough to show what you can expect.
I'm actually not that interested in drawing backgrounds at the moment.

There's also a little update I want to do about my preferences. This is for a few things that you don't have to include at all, but I will simply enjoy it a lot:
- One of the main things I like to draw are characters in a extremely skimpy or even completely revealing outfits, both male and female characters. You can either come up with a outfit idea or let me try come up with something myself.
- Massage stuff is fun, one character being gently rubbed in different places, the other character can do that by hand, other body part or just rub his entire body all over, because why not.
- (The weirdest one probably) I've not drawn it before but I've been wanting to draw it for a while now, it's sounding and urethral fucking. If you're not into that than don't worry about it.

I think that will do for now, please note me if you're interested.
Again please mind that I'm not fast at making these.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________


Life stuff!
Over the course of the last weeks, months, idk, I start to realize more and more what I miss in life. It's to socialize to meet new people and know them more. At the same time I see missed opportunities, people fading away before I even knew them, I should've, before I fade away as well. Today I read it's the same thing, one of my best online friends put up a journal about the passing of his friend, a person I might've known, I might've wanted to know more, but now it's not possible anymore.
I'm slowly trying to step over the things I'm ashamed of and find more regret for what I haven't done, haven't explored because being afraid that others might react in a really negative way because by them it's considered not normal. I've been pushed that way by my father during my childhood in his idealistic way of what I should be, should like and what I shouldn't like. He's not in my way anymore but that same line of thought kept going and is still damaging me. I only kept looking at what's the most practical and ideal way, make friends at school and what not. But honestly I already wanted to get in this artist community long ago, it's what interest me more. The whole 'oh this is furry stuff' kept me away a bit but I don't even know why anymore. What I come to understand more is that, yes I do want to make contact with people and why would I need to keep forcing myself to do so with people I don't share interests with. In a more practical way, yes because these people live close to me, but in a more honest way I truly actually want to meet people that also draw things that I draw and things like that. I want to meet other artists and other people I know here, that's kinde what I'm getting to. I hope to get more out there and meet people I know online.
It's going to be tricky because not everyone lives in Europe, I have a fear of flying and I also fear of what things might happen in those other places. Particularity the US cause all I think of is higher crime rates and people randomly carrying guns around as silly as that thought might be. Seeing as the US is far larger than Europe, those things might only happen in a certain part of the US. I'll have to overcome this at a certain point.

Another thing that kept me from making contact with other people is the thought I had to deserve to talk to them. My only way to pay that off was to show that with art, struggling to be worth talking to. Such thought of being worth communicating with isn't uncommon, for example I didn't dare to talk to some of my favorite artists for the longest time because I didn't feel like I was worth it. However they are people too, they also want to communicate, just talk about whatever. Just because a person is way better at art than you doesn't mean you can't talk to them. So to that point I also start to realize more that I can just talk to people if I wanted to.

I do slowly am building up the courage and slowly starting get out of my shell and meet people. For example I'll be going to Eurofurence in a couple of weeks. It's the first Furry convention I'll be going to, hopefully I'll meet some people there, I already know that Vader-san is going there so that's going to being to meet him in person.
This will be the first step for me to finally start enjoying my life.

So where to start? I haven't drawn for over a week now which is because I got frustrated with a piece that I was working on. It was something I wanted to get done in a day but as time went on it started to take me more than a week and I just gave up.
I notice my issue with constantly looking at quality and what I don't have while drawing. For most of my works I focus a lot on details which takes a lot of time. I do it because I feel like I need to work to certain quality that is needed for others to like it. And that's my only focus... I see a artist describing their work as a doodle and think that my full works need to be at least at that certain quality. Thinking these doodles are some kind of show off of the less focused quality a artist can produce, but it's not. The doodling or simple sketches, whatever you might call it is because in between bigger works you also want to have fun in your art. Something to take your mind off from. That is what I don't really do with my art.
Although it's important that I focus on practicing and finishing my more complex works I also need to find a quicker less focused and more fun kind of way to draw for myself.

So a few days ago during the heatwave here it seemed like the old French bulldog of a girlfriend of me mum just couldn't uphold so my mother called her over, she came with her 6 year old son and there they decided it was time to put a end to the dog's suffering. 6 Year old boy in tears so they went to the Macdonald to cheer him up a bit.
We simply took care of that dog of the last part of it's life. It was a rather intelligent dog despite the problems she got from her age and using our floor as her personal toilet. It's still a bit odd that she's gone but I'm not exactly sad about it.
Right after the dog was gone my mother already looked up for a lil kitten she wanted and a day or 2 after we already got it, the kitten is already used to the house but still needs to get used to out Scottish Terrier.

Now as for Euroference, I'm still hoping to go there, I checked a bit about the registration and seeing how I'm gonna work it out with a hotel there. I hotel part I will check myself but I'm mainly wondering what to expect from the event and how long I should stay.
The event itself only has a single registration cost so the longer you stay the more you get out of your ticket, however the hotel costs do go up so that's why.
I do know one artist that will be there and that I follow a lot of stream of, so I'll likely ask him about it I suppose.

First of all I have to say I'm happy that still more people seem to enjoy what I draw as I seeing more people +watch me. A fair warning than is that I usually talk about how things go wrong in my life, not that I'm the only one.

With the utter chaos and competitive pressure in my mind I couldn't get myself to properly learn for the last retake this year and as such I have no hope in making it. The retake is tomorrows so really even if I tried now there wouldn't be anything.
It's pretty obvious that this competitive pressure in my mind is keeping me from working properly and keeps me stressed at all times.
It's a good thing that I'm going to a psychologist. I keep thinking that no one really cares how I feel about it...

Speaking about competitive pressure and things like that I know I keep promising to do commissions and almost never do them in reality. Going from how I'm always stressed it's pretty obvious why I never find time to do so (and also never find time to properly practice figure drawing and such). Hopefully next year will be better.
For the summer I'm thinking of doing commissions and practicing figure drawing at the same time, doing commissions simply to draw something besides boring practice sketches, I guess also because it gives me some fulfillment.
I probably won't start off immediately but hopefully some time coming week.

Also still back on my last journal, I'm still looking for  Pirun's older art, hoping that someone saved it somewhere so I could save those images as well.

Some of you might know  Pirun's amazing art, I really like it myself too.
I was wondering if someone had saved Pirun's older works somewhere as I really want to look at those again. I mainly remember one piece of some blue guy with headphones laying on his side, but I can't find it anywhere anymore.

Anyway,

At the moment I'm still worrying about the retake because I don't know how to go about it, I guess I will have a clearer mind when it's over, if I make it or not...

I've also finally been able to speak about my inner most feelings to someone, it was a friend of my mother who I could talk to. It's pretty obvious that I have far too much things I keep for myself because I'm ashamed of it. I'm ashamed of the things I draw, how I draw it and how long I take, I'm ashamed of how I'm doing with my study, I'm ashamed of how little I can do. Because of these things I figured it be best that I start seeing a psychologist about it.
One helpful advice that many have told me actually is to look more to what I do good every day or so. Like the Cheetah drawing, it took me a while but it looks good in the end, that's more to how I should look at it.
A nice thing that happened a few days ago was that I saved a Jackdaw chick from a cat, I was lucky that some person from the animal ambulance, animal rescue, whatever you call it, was taking their dog for a walk there so they actually knew exactly what to do with the Jackdaw chick.

As for last I should be more social, be around people, do more stuff with other people with the same interests, so I figured I'll try to go to Eurofurence. I never been to a furry convention so I don't know how it is and all aside that there's people in fursuits. I haven't yet organized anything yet but so I'll have to look more into that. I'm mainly also wondering if I could meet someone there I know otherwise and all that.

That last class that I was following became too much for me. The presentation on Tuesday didn't go well, it exhausted me and immediately after they expected me read through 2 articles and have my laptop (which is still broken atm) ready for the next day. It was just too much and I was shaking that entire day feeling like I would kinde well.. panic Instead of going to the class I went to the study advisor and eventually decided there that it was best for me to just stop with this class as it wasn't going anywhere from the start. It gives me some rest for now so I can slowly focus more on recovering and such.
There's still a retake in a few weeks and I have to write a personal statement for the Examination Committee so they know my situation and don't throw me out of this study because I didn't get enough study points (EC). So that's my current situation.

I guess I have some time to focus on art at last, the quality of my art has gone down hill a lot lately, or at least I haven't improved as much as I hoped for.

As for my Dutch grandfather, he's still alive luckily. He's getting more attention from his relatives to get through these things, he won't recover but at least he won't end it so early on.

I'll start of with the simple things and get to the more important stuff at the end.

Some might know already about the doves nesting in a tree next to my window for 3 years now. Sadly this year the nest fell apart and the chicks fell out one by one when I wasn't around. Last Friday the neighbors suddenly chopped off the top of the tree, so I'm afraid that the doves won't nest in that tree ever again.

Same Friday I finally got that one doujin that kuroma made with another Japanese artist. First time I order something like that. The book was really cheap but in comparison the shipping costs were pretty ridiculous. The book itself (with added costs from Alice Books) was just around €5,- while the shipping costs were roughly €31,- on top of that so that was kinde surprising. It's simply a bit too expensive for me. So yea, first time ordering stuff from Japan.

As for my study, I have to work alone on something everyone else works in groups of 2 again, despite me trying to find someone to work with as early as possible. Now I have to work on a presentation for Tuesday, so I'll be busy again.
At the same time there's a little contest thingy kuroma is doing now that ends at the 7th of june, this one: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16693521/. So that's something I really want to draw something for (while having several other unfinished works), but I don't know if I will manage to with how slow I am and this class needing more attention as usual. It's hard finding balance in my day...

Today was also my Dutch grandfather's (my father's father) birthday, he became 80. I was at his birthday party with my brother and his gilfriend today and almost all my grandfather's relatives came. Sadly he won't be around for long as he got lung cancer a few months back because of the exposure to asbestus he got through his life. He didn't look too terrible besides having lost his voice but sadly he won't even be around for the last few months he has, because he will go and do... that. It will happen coming week apparently.
I didn't had much contact with him or the rest of my father's side of our family, it's still feels weird that I will now lose my other grandfather as well. Now I feel bad that I couldn't even understand the last words he had for me.



I guess for last, the way I act, the way I think:
I always feel like I'm falling behind everyone. With everything really but for my study and art it hits me the most.
It's like everyone gets through things with ease while I do my best, yet I keep falling behind while everyone quickly rises above me.
It's not always the reality of things but it is how it feels for me and in many cases still seems more real than not.

So last class finally ended, didn't complete it because I only managed to do 1 of the 3 lab reports that I had to write, still not sure if I scored enough for the exam either. This will probably continue on like it is until I actually ever recover from my health problems.
I would go on how I'm neither doing well with my art or my study but I've told this story already too many times.
I really can't get enough done because of my health problems that keep me from sleeping properly, so the only thing I can do is try to focus on recovering again. Luckily I did find a walking group which motivates me to go jogging more often so that I can slowly recover again.
I am ever so slowly, when I do get myself to do it working on 2 things now, one being based on the game I waste way too much time on.
That's the update for now I guess.

So it's been a while, I haven't been very active here for a while.
For about 8 weeks I didn't follow my study because I tried to recover from my health problems. I didn't really recover all that much but I did got rid of the stress from my study, so finally last week I continued my study again. Apparently I'm already walking behind and this Friday is the exam already. So that's all great...

As for art, I gave up on drawing for a while now because of the thing I was drawing as a birthday gift for Cheetahpaws. It took way too long so I lost interest in it and haven't continued working on it. I basically played Warframe for most of the time, somehow that makes me feel happy, happier than looking at continues art failures at least.

As for the doves, I thought I would never see them again but I was wrong. Either a new pair or the old pair came to check out the nest again a few days ago.

Seems the last chick disappeared as well. I guess some jackdaws got it after it fell out cause again I couldn't find it back down below the tree. It's pretty obvious that the nest wasn't in the best shape which caused the chick to fall out of it. The nest is still mostly there but it's tilted and damaged, I did find some parts of it further down the tree so that's likely how the chicks met their end.

Sad but luckily this tree is rather wanted among the ring-necked doves here so it's likely another couple will move in.

Bad news: my internet USB stick completely broke.

Good news: I managed to install my wifi-card, it wasn't too hard. I thought I had to connect a cable to make it work but the port for that was missing on my motherboard, apparently that wasn't necessary to make it work. So now I should have a proper working internet connection without all the disconnects.

Bad news: One of the dove chicks disappeared, presumably dead. I looked around if I could find it dead or alive but I couldn't even find it's corpse below the tree. I'm guessing the nest partly broke and the chick fell out and than maybe a cat or a seagull got it. Doves aren't the best nest builders sadly enough.
The chicks were actually just old enough to not need the warmth of their parents to survive. The last one now stays alone in the nest while the parents look for food, they come to feed the chick every now and than and also protect it when it starts raining.
The photos of the chicks can be seen here: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/w4k76byf.....cpoqwuWQa?dl=0

Also my foot is still bruised, dang it.

I forgot to say thanks to ChristineMan58 and Reilsss for the well wishes. That one day was indeed absolutely agonizing but luckily I recovered rather quickly. Fever was over the next day but the headache stayed for a small while. Going from the after symptoms it was probably indeed flu, except the typical symptoms barely came up at all. I guess I got a pretty good immune system from eating healthy, not drinking sugary drinks and a lot of movement outside.
I haven't gone jogging as frequently as I went before but now I go with a jogging group every Tuesday evening, I'm doing this for 2 weeks now. I probably need better pants and shoes for jogging as this group goes for a hour and a half, and I slightly bruised my right foot last time so I can't properly walk for now (it's easier for me to go around on my bicycle than to walk now....).
I think I'm also slowly recovering from my intestine problems which is the main thing that keeps me from doing what I need to do, and why I need to eat a lot of fruit and go jogging frequently.

As for art, I got tired of working so long on one piece so I'm taking a small break from drawing. I finished most of it, now I just need to digitally edit everything together into a small animation kinde thing. I guess it's a good thing to distract myself with games every now and than cause otherwise feeling like I need to draw every moment might be bad for me too. I will continue soon so hopefully I'll get it done soon too.
I also just bought a wifi-card so I can have a stable internet connection. I tried to install the thing myself but some parts don't look like said in the manual so I'll have to ask the person I asked about it before.

As some might know, Ring-neck doves nest in a tree outside my window every year. Just like last time I'm making photo's of the chicks every now and than. It's pretty fun watching them grow up until they finally fly out of the nest. So I'll be sharing these in journals I guess.
Here's some I made a few days ago: http://imgur.com/a/FrrAL
Right now they're starting to become too big for the sitting parent to completely cover them. Soon when they will be big enough to be left alone in the nest so that their parents can look for food.

Seems I got a headache and fever from last night. Seems like flu but I don't have to cough and my nose is only slightly stuffed.
So yea that means a slight delay for the art to come. I was still working on the one piece (more like a project) that I mentioned last time, until this happened of course...
Once I get healthy again and managed to finish this thing I'm working on I'll open for commissions again.