Hope everyone is alright, whether if they're in Irma's path of rage or not.

I left Sarasota, FL around noon Friday. Usually the drive from there to Valdosta is a 4 hour trip...but with all the highway traffic jams, I didn't get home until 10 PM. My roommates,  Tozi and  JVCx13, were gonna wait it out until Saturday or whenever it got bad, but about after I was on the road for 45 minutes, they called and said they were following me to my folks'. As many times as I kept getting stuck in traffic jams for an hour or 2, I was tempted to go back home and take on Irma. I can swim and I'm one of those girls who don't care about getting their hair wet.

So we're all hunkered down at my parents' place, computers and all (we took almost everything from home), along with another fur and his mom. According to Tozi, the eye of the storm is supposed to go over our house...so we may not have a home to go to.

I'm suffering from my 'curse' right now and I'm at the part of it where my train of thoughts keep wrecking. I'll keep everyone posted. Everyone stay safe out there.

...but yup, we're in that area. Making plans already. Heading back home to Georgia until Monster Nature calms the fuck down. Though I don't see the point since Georgia's in a State of Emergency too (and South Carolina) and the highway traffic heading north is either crawling at a snail's pace or stuck in place.

Planning to head out Friday morning and hoping my roommates will be right behind me. Everyone stay safe.

I've always had low iron in my blood since I was 15, 16 years old and me losing blood once a month doesn't help either.

Had a scare today; went to the doctor to look at a possible Staph infection in my foot. She took some blood work to check my sugar levels as well (I hate getting poked...). Good news: I'm [possibly] not a diabetic. Bad news: the nurse left me a voice mail saying that I needed to go to the ER immediately because my iron levels were so low. This wasn't anything new to me, but the urgency in the nurse's tone and that I haven't been to the doctor for that in awhile made me go to the E.R.

So after a couple hours (and two more pokes T___T ), I was told the same thing. Wasn't low enough for a blood transfusion though so they just gave me a prescription to some iron supplements and sent me on my way.

Was wondering if anyone had anemia like I do and what they did to maintain it. I know I need to get some iron vitamins or multivitamins, but is there any kind out there that's the best? And what food would be best to eat? Liver and beets are on the top of the list, but I'm just gonna puke those up.

Any advice would help. Thanks!

I have a story idling on the backburner where a race of furry species are trying to secretly destroy another race who have made their home on Earth.

The furry race is made up of a variety of animals but, to make it a little easier to categorize everything (even though I kinda don't want to), I thought of making a group a species the majority. Only I don't know which ones to choose. People seem to be getting sick of foxes, cats, and wolves (and if there are other furs that are seen too much, I don't know of other than what I just listed).

So what species should be the most dominate in the race? The only exceptions right now are Bears, Rabbits/Hares,certain Insects (only Praying Mantises right now, maaaaaybe Butterflies and/or Moths), and Reptiles because they're already mentioned and/or involved in the story. I made a list below:

1. Bears
2. Rabbits/Hares
3. Insects
4. Reptiles
5. Tigers [added by  kra5h]
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.

I'm also thinking of putting in otters and maybe even marine creatures like orcas, sharks, or dolphins. I'll shrink the list to the top 5 or 10 and chose from there. Feel free to leave a comment on what species deserves more recognition in fiction.

Since AOL is shutting down its service to third party programs and Trillian's about dead anyway, I downloaded Telegram. Feel free to add me on there. Look for "Rai Pager".

A good friend of mine needs help with moving funds.

https://www.gofundme.com/finding-a-.....w-home-quickly

3/7/16

And another friend of mine needs help with funeral expenses for their mom who passed away a few days ago.

https://www.gofundme.com/ginasmemorial

If you can, send them some support. Every little bit helps.

Enjoy the day where you don't have to worry where your man/girl is every 5 minutes or who're they're with, can eat without worrying about someone picking their fork in your plate, and wonder where that $20 that you forgot you gave to him/her went to.

https://youtu.be/wbHmSY2v2Nk

Any fellow writers on here self-published their stories? Or any artist self-publish their own art books? I would like some advice.

I've been told the advantages of going that route when getting your work out, but to me in my mind, to self publish, you're really desperate. It'd be like me going out in the streets with unfinished manuscripts and flailing them at anyone going by saying "READ MAI WORK! IT'S REALLY GREAT! REALLY! YOU WON'T BE SORRY! THIS IS A MILLION DOLLAR WORK OF ART IN WORDS!" I'm just exaggerating though.

It gets past the thousands publishing agents who'll reject anything that doesn't relate to the genre they publish (or if it's just really horrible), but then it'll be victim to curious readers who'll either say to love it, they like it, or say they just wasted a certain amount of money on garbage.

So if I were to self-publish, what routes would I have to take? How is it done? Is there a charge fee? Can you do paperback, hard cover, e-book, or all of the above? What other question haven't I asked that I should've asked? @_@

If anyone could clear these up for me, I would appreciate it whole heartedly.

"It's a very merry holly, very happy Christmas Day.
And I wish you all a Merry Christmas in the Christmas way.
Merry Christmas to you, and may this season bring you joy.
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas every girl and boy.
It's a very Merry Christmas, and I wish you Christmas cheer.
And I hope you keep this happy Christmas feeling through the year.
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, may the dreams you dream come true.
Have a very Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you!"

This is a song from from "The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas", a holiday special I used to watch on the VCR (*can hear those born early 2000 going "WTF is a VCR?!"*) on the family wooden framed TV (*also hears the 2000s going "WAT") when I was 3. It decided to play in my head this morning...well this afternoon, I didn't get up 'til 2 pm.

I got my roommates' stockings along with stuffers (may upload pictures on here) and I could hear them giggling from the living room before I passed out. I'm one of those who try to surprise friends and keep it quiet until the certain day and if they find out too early, I get mad. I don't know why I'm like that.

Hope everyone's having a happy holiday today. And if not, I'm sorry for whatever woes that rain upon you this day and I wish I had the power to make it better. Everything will be okay in the end and if not, it's not the end.

I want to wish everyone a safe and merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. For those who are instantly offended, Happy Holidays. Still offended by those two words? Here's two more for you: Fuck you.

I don't know why I feel like I do right now, not after what happened (please say last journal, I don't feel like mentioning it again). I don't want to move on. I want to rewind time. It's moments like this I wished something like Dragon Balls exist.

You'd think I'd be mad right now. You'd think I'd be saying "screw you and your merry Christmas" to everyone right now. Why can't I? I don't know. I've been weird since I came into this world.

May all your dreams come true in these past few days. Or get drunk or high as fuck. Do your holiday however you do, just don't over do it.

I want this to be a very cruel and evil joke. I just learned that is GONE?!?!

I feel so empty and hurt right now. I've known him since the good OTG (Outside the Greatfox) days on Puffy's website. And just hearing this now.

I saw his journal where he said he was in the hospital...I said I was going to pounce and hug him on Steam when he got better...I'm so shaky right now.

Please someone tell me this is just a bad dream....please...

Any friends or watchers interested in getting a $1 Christmas card from me? Send me an e-mail at rai_pager[at]yahoo,com.

And for those who like to send me cards and still have my old address, I no longer live in Georgia anymore. Either e-mail or IM me if you want my new address.

There are writing projects most writers come with that they believe is the most stupidest, nonsensical thing they ever written. And yet they still continue writing it until they get to the end, whether it's because they believe they have something going and it could work or they just want to get it over with and be done with it. And that's a project I've been working on.

I've been doing this since March. Just pushed all my other projects to the side (...I said "pushed aside", not "throw away") and have just been so focused on this. Will it go somewhere? I don't know, but I do feel that this is something different. Not that an idea like this hasn't been done before, but it hasn't been done like this.


If anyone is interested in reading, I have a Movella account. Don't know how many readers/writers know about that site. There's some good reads if you're into romance fiction or fanfiction and boy-band shipping. There's more than just that but that seems to be the popular theme for the site. I'm not sure if it's one of those where you have to have an account to read something. If that's the case, I also have it on DA.

Check it out either on my Movella or on my Deviantart. Clicking on them will send you to Chapter 1. Enjoy your reading.

This isn't a journal to kink-shame anybody. If anything, this is me kink-shaming myself.

I don't feel comfortable saying what my kink is so I won't say what it is, plus I don't want a bunch of furs trying to get me on Skype and Discord for random RP fucks. I do know that I have a love/hate relationship with it.

Don't need to say why I love it...I mean, c'mon, why do you love your kink? 'nuff said. But I also hate it because it was one of the bad parts of my past. Sure, it's not the same thing; what was in the past was painful and what's now a kink is something to be enjoyed. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does you'd think I was being more hurt than in Lusty Land.

Or maybe I'm just being complicated and being a big baby on this, I dunno. Anyone else have or ever had this problem? How should I deal with something like this? Suck it up? Drop it completely? See a head doctor who tells me I should feel horrible because I'm a horrible person?

*shrugs* Hey, we survived Bush. Don't see why we can't survive Trump.

Probably a first in the furry community, someone hating the holiday on a personal level.

Last Halloween was the last time I got to spend with my oldest sister, who passed away the beginning of this year, so not in the best of moods.

The faster this day goes, the better. Wish I could skip it.

After 2-3 years of struggling to write, I was able to get the energy and inspiration to write a new story. It's the story I've been so hush-hush about, the one I said is probably one of the most dumbest ideas I could ever come up with. Why is it not on here, you ask? To tell you the truth, I don't know. It's not exactly furry related and I don't wanna disturb and offend the "furry gods" for posting something un-furry on here (though there will be some furry characters later). You can read it here or here. I hope you enjoy reading what I have so far. I currently have 2 more chapters to post up but they need MAJOR editing. Keep a look out for those sometime this and next week.

I'm still struggling in job searches here since the four weeks I've been. I know it takes awhile for managers to start making phone calls to fill in open spots but I just wanna hurry up and get my life in Florida set, you know? Sucks that a majority of life takes money to enjoy it, unless you live off the grid or are a millionaire. I really just want a part time job to save money for my other job plan: opening a vendor at farmer's markets. What am I sellin'? COOKIES, CUPCAKES, and BROWNIES! ALL homemade. I'm good at using a whisk and a spatula, what I'm NOT good at is chosing what to bake when I don't really have anything in mind.

I'm trying to think of what varieties of sweets to make. I have cookies and brownies settled but I can't think of any more cake selections other than yellow cake/chocolate frosting and red velvet cake/buttercream frosting. Any cooks, chefs, or sweets enthusiast reading? Help me flesh out a menu here. What are you favorite kind of cakes or the most popular cakes out there today? If you're into cookies and/or brownies, you can share your favorites of those too and switch stuff around every now and then.

Goodbye Georgia and hello Florida. I've now in Englewood living with  tozi and his blind cat, Captain. I'm still trying to adjust but it's an AWESOME adjustment. I think when I find a job, I'll feel much better and secure.

We went to the beach yesterday evening and I think I bunch of beachgoers there were surprised to see a black woman actually swimming in the deeper part of the water and getting her hair wet X3

Not a lot going on right now. Hope to update ya'll soon, and the first one will be that I got a new job.

When I say "moving", I actually mean moving out of my parents' house and to try to succeed with my own life. I'm moving in with  tozi whose living in Florida. Already got people at work saying that I "can't leave" and that "[I'll] be back" and my family?...mom's okay with it, one of my nephew's won't speak to me as much, and my dad pulled a rusted shotgun out of the closet that I knew nothing about and has been cleaning it up since I announced my moving decision....

And yes, I have a Discord account thing now. Not moving from Skype because...really, I don't see the points. I hear lots of complaints about it but it hasn't given me any problems. Only problem on my end is a sucky Internet connection that always muffles or stops my calls. If anything, if I could, I'd change my Internet. In about 2 years, someone's gonna say Discord is a problem and be talking about something called "Nyan Chat".

I'm being a rebel here to clear out the "I'M LEAVING FA!" and "FA SUCKS!" banter. Hopefully this clears some minds and sparks new inspiration, and bring some nostalgic back.

If it doesn't *shrugs* go whine to your mom and suck on her tit for all I care. Seems like that's what half of ya'll do or get a rise out of anyways.

https://youtu.be/942r1Q5FmtQ

Where I'm either gonna see a lot of journals saying "I'M LEAVING FA!!!", either for real or because pulled one joke too many and we're rid of one more crybaby in the bunch.

Fuck April Fool's right now, is it the 18th yet? -.-

Wow, I can't believe I'm getting watches. Well, first of all, Happy Easter. Hope you're having a lovely time with family and loved ones. And second, I want to apologize for not having any interesting and/or smutty art or stories at the moment. I can't draw, though I wanna learn. Some art posted on here are surprises from good friends, and who seem to have an interest in my Star Fox fan-character, "Rai" Pager. *shrugs* I dunno why. They some weird folk.

To those who think my profile page is TL;DR and all that, I'm a writer. I working to be to be good enough to publish something and make that as my income, but until then I'm working part-time as a dietary attendant in a retirement home.

And I know there's probably stuff on here that I posted 2-3 years ago. I am writing, just not posting. I'm currently working on a story project that I won't release until either August, September, or Halloween because it's on a topic most people don't wanna hear about 'til then. I'm a bit conflicted with this story to tell the truth. It is true that there is no such thing as a stupid idea. . .but I think is the STUPIDEST idea I've ever come up with so I won't be shocked when I post it and I'll get lots of "DIS S SHIT LOL" or "KIL YORSELF" if someone reads it...then again, anyone who writes like didn't make it past the first letter in the title.

I've also been thinking of transferring all my non-furry stories to strictly Wattpad and/or Movella. If I do that, I'll leave links to them on my profile page. Seems the only furry stories I have now are "Hunted by Prey" and "Fawn"; there are furry characters but the main ones are human. I haven't really come up with a plot yet where I can just have a fur be a main character.

Mmmm...and that's it. Sorry, nothing interesting going on right now. Again, Happy Easter. Will talk with y'all some other time then.

Hey anyone, just letting anyone reading know what's going on.

My sister was buried yesterday. I don't know if it was tears in my eyes and/or if I was hallucinating but I could swore she was breathing while laying in her casket...

Nice words were said about my sister about how her smile and personality touched everyone in a positive way and how she will be missed. After she was buried, I didn't stick around long. I get migraines easily after crying for a long while or under too much stress. Popped two Unisom Pain PMs and passed out...if the new graveyard wasn't far, I'd be tempted AND crazy enough to sleep by her grave...

And onto a new day. I've been writing all day today. Thought I'd try writing five chapters in one day but I'm just not up to speed. I think I can be done completing this chapter if I stay focused long enough...and finish my laundry. Big tip to writers who don't know: never write on a laundry day...unless you're hardheaded like me.

I want to say thank you for everyone who talked with and comforted me over Trillian and Skype and kept my sister in their thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much.

I think somewhere in the world who doesn't understand how my life used to be is saying I have no right to cry my eyes because I'm no the only one who lost someone close to them. It sounds dumb and confusing but it's just how I feel right now.

One minute I'm okay, and the next I'm remembering her face and voice and the tears start again. I still have her last text on my phone where she wanted a sausage pizza from Pizza Hut...and I remember thinking "I ain't gettin' her shit" because she always WANTED something. She wanted cigarettes or toilet paper from the store that was RIGHT DOWN THE STREET. I could understand if it was raining or 30 below cold outside, but most of the time she got me was during a nice day or when I'm just getting off work...

...if I knew how bad off she was, I'd frikkin' pick her up even if I got beat up by the most unruliest resident at my job. I feel like the most awful person in the world. Whatever punishment in store in my future I truly deserve.

I also bring my job into this and been thinking I should've quit earlier and maybe take a chance with my writing or amateur game making and use that money to get my sister the care she needed. I feel like if I do make it in writing and/or game-making, I'd be like 'what's the point now?'

Yeah, I'm all kinds of messed up right now and I still be that even after my sister's funeral or when and if realization hits me...I don't want to believe our family is short one sister...

...no, the person named is not a furry...

...she's my oldest sister. She died today about an hour or 2 ago before I started writing this journal.

Right now, I can't breathe or think straight. I now know what it feels to have a piece of you missing...

I went to go see her...and I shouldn't have. My middle sister said it's best to remember the last time you saw her, and now I ruined it and I'm going to see how she looked dead for the rest of my life...

I don't know how long I'll be gone. This is a sadness that'll stay forever...

Now I KNOW why I hate New Years....that's when people start dropping like flies...