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March already??
General | Posted 2 years agoTime really does fly away huh
Im once again using this little corner of the internet that is mine and mine alone to blow off some steam and tell you about the various happenings of my life. I´m one of those people that find it easier to process their inner turmoils if they write them. There´s something about having to structure and translate my toughts that makes them seem so much simpler, as if I was taming the living, breathing mess of my head.
Oh its all just a mess right now, that much I can tell you.
Tell me why, just two saturdays ago, out of nowhere I meet a guy thats just right for me?? Out of the absolute blue! And during a gig no less, go figure. We had a couple of dates and I was under the impression that he was just after some tail, no shame on that, because well; what else could he possibly want from little ol me. Im not an easy person to date: I deal with both an eating disorder and post traumatic stress disorder due to past sexual assaults, im generally mentally ill and unmedicated, im autistic, promiscuous, impulsive, reckless and somehow also a coward, I lack common sense and im overly careless and the list goes on. Did I mention I never had a boyfriend before?
But I dont know, he´s just so pacient and kind and sweet and everything I could need. He holds me tight and tells that he doesnt care and that it is ok. He also respects and supports my identity as an agender person its just too .good to be true you know
He says he looks foward to a relationship with me and Im kinda looking foward to it too but im just so scared.
I guess I just need some time, he says he doesnt mind waiting.
Oh well, love, adventure, mosh pits... such is the life of the furry artist
Im once again using this little corner of the internet that is mine and mine alone to blow off some steam and tell you about the various happenings of my life. I´m one of those people that find it easier to process their inner turmoils if they write them. There´s something about having to structure and translate my toughts that makes them seem so much simpler, as if I was taming the living, breathing mess of my head.
Oh its all just a mess right now, that much I can tell you.
Tell me why, just two saturdays ago, out of nowhere I meet a guy thats just right for me?? Out of the absolute blue! And during a gig no less, go figure. We had a couple of dates and I was under the impression that he was just after some tail, no shame on that, because well; what else could he possibly want from little ol me. Im not an easy person to date: I deal with both an eating disorder and post traumatic stress disorder due to past sexual assaults, im generally mentally ill and unmedicated, im autistic, promiscuous, impulsive, reckless and somehow also a coward, I lack common sense and im overly careless and the list goes on. Did I mention I never had a boyfriend before?
But I dont know, he´s just so pacient and kind and sweet and everything I could need. He holds me tight and tells that he doesnt care and that it is ok. He also respects and supports my identity as an agender person its just too .good to be true you know
He says he looks foward to a relationship with me and Im kinda looking foward to it too but im just so scared.
I guess I just need some time, he says he doesnt mind waiting.
Oh well, love, adventure, mosh pits... such is the life of the furry artist
New year :00
General | Posted 2 years agoWAOS I can’t believe it’s new year’s today.
It hasn’t been the best year for me but it definitely hasn’t been the worst either. It does have, however, the worst closing of the year so far, I’m terribly sick. Last night I tried to fall asleep in vain, since the fever decided against it. That’s why I decided, against all better judgment, to think
It hasn’t been the best year for me but it definitely hasn’t been the worst either. It does have, however, the worst closing of the year so far, I’m terribly sick. Last night I tried to fall asleep in vain, since the fever decided against it. That’s why I decided, against all better judgment, to think
Porto!
General | Posted 2 years agoWoowie! three whole days at Portugal!
I had such a great time, took a lot of pics of the tiles, im planning on editing them a little bit an uploading them for free so anyone can use them. Im studying graphic design and I think they are really usefull for adding texture or patterns or whatheva.
Cant say I loved this year´s Porto Bienale tho.
I can, however talk about André Romão´s "calor" expo. At the end of the expo there was this wooden sculpture of a fox sleeping all curled up on a blanket. It wasnt on display, it was actually slightly hidden and out of focus and I think ive never criend on a museum before, but that managed to do so lol.
I cant explain why, I might do a comic about it. I like expressing mysing like that.
I had such a great time, took a lot of pics of the tiles, im planning on editing them a little bit an uploading them for free so anyone can use them. Im studying graphic design and I think they are really usefull for adding texture or patterns or whatheva.
Cant say I loved this year´s Porto Bienale tho.
I can, however talk about André Romão´s "calor" expo. At the end of the expo there was this wooden sculpture of a fox sleeping all curled up on a blanket. It wasnt on display, it was actually slightly hidden and out of focus and I think ive never criend on a museum before, but that managed to do so lol.
I cant explain why, I might do a comic about it. I like expressing mysing like that.
weird time of the year
General | Posted 2 years agoIts kind of strange to think that all that stuff happened a year ago.
This monday I happened to be on a horribly sad and aloof mood, without any particular reason. I tough it was just stress or hormones or something like that, until late on the evening I recieved a text from my mom telling me that day marked the first year aniversary of the death of my tía Isa. Im not calling her "aunty" or "aunt" because I cant bring myself to call her anything else than tia. To me she was my sweet, beloved tia Isa.
Its not the only one year aniversary that I have on this week no. I have a weird tendacy to take buses or trains out of town whenever I feel overwhelmed by things that are out of my control, as if to say "hey at least I have some agency about where I am"
Im pretty social and have lots of contacts here and there, so Ive never had issues couch surfing. This isnt safe tho and it has lead me to some sticky situations. Two days after tia Isa´s death, I dived head first into one.
Picture this, 8 PM, my last train home has just taken off without me and the next one leaves at 6 AM the next morning. The friend that lend me a couch worked the night shift that day and lived way too far away from the statition, my phone was dying, it was raining... I had one last card up my sleve tho, I sent a "u up" to a guy I knew lived nearby. Ive never seen him irl and it was a dangerous thing to do but I had to take a gamble and well.
I only really saw him twice and I know it sounds inmature and childish, because it is. But I truly believe that I fell in love with the guy. I say it with my full heart, he was my first love.
Ive never been the type to get in a relationship but with that specific dude, heh, who knows.
I knew I was catching feelings, thats the weird thing about it. Untill then I tough when you fall in love you fall and thats it, but iit turns out (at least in my case) its more of a thing you have to allow yourself to do. Its a risk you take and I decided to make a gamble.
Turns out I lost and wow does it hurt. But im glad I let myself take the risk. The only bad side is that this week I mourn two things, the loss of my tia Isa and the loss of my first love.
This monday I happened to be on a horribly sad and aloof mood, without any particular reason. I tough it was just stress or hormones or something like that, until late on the evening I recieved a text from my mom telling me that day marked the first year aniversary of the death of my tía Isa. Im not calling her "aunty" or "aunt" because I cant bring myself to call her anything else than tia. To me she was my sweet, beloved tia Isa.
Its not the only one year aniversary that I have on this week no. I have a weird tendacy to take buses or trains out of town whenever I feel overwhelmed by things that are out of my control, as if to say "hey at least I have some agency about where I am"
Im pretty social and have lots of contacts here and there, so Ive never had issues couch surfing. This isnt safe tho and it has lead me to some sticky situations. Two days after tia Isa´s death, I dived head first into one.
Picture this, 8 PM, my last train home has just taken off without me and the next one leaves at 6 AM the next morning. The friend that lend me a couch worked the night shift that day and lived way too far away from the statition, my phone was dying, it was raining... I had one last card up my sleve tho, I sent a "u up" to a guy I knew lived nearby. Ive never seen him irl and it was a dangerous thing to do but I had to take a gamble and well.
I only really saw him twice and I know it sounds inmature and childish, because it is. But I truly believe that I fell in love with the guy. I say it with my full heart, he was my first love.
Ive never been the type to get in a relationship but with that specific dude, heh, who knows.
I knew I was catching feelings, thats the weird thing about it. Untill then I tough when you fall in love you fall and thats it, but iit turns out (at least in my case) its more of a thing you have to allow yourself to do. Its a risk you take and I decided to make a gamble.
Turns out I lost and wow does it hurt. But im glad I let myself take the risk. The only bad side is that this week I mourn two things, the loss of my tia Isa and the loss of my first love.
