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Opening Commissions
Posted 8 months agoHey! I've made a commission form right here:
https://forms.gle/XEyo4WyrXi6KxfVZA
I'll be taking a very limited number of them! I haven't done this in a long time, so there will be some adjustment.
https://forms.gle/XEyo4WyrXi6KxfVZA
I'll be taking a very limited number of them! I haven't done this in a long time, so there will be some adjustment.
I am back.
Posted 10 months agoIt's been like 4 years since my last journal, so I figured I'd give an update after spamming some art onto the page last night.
It's been quite a long haul getting out of the low confidence slump, and lots of other habits began to fill the time void that the low confidence carved out. I've been purging myself of recent Internet trends, especially ones revolving around the slot machine user interface (e.g. refresh the page to get a new infinite-scroll stream of randomized content delivery), and that's been freeing up a lot of time.
I've also been disengaging from the news outside the Wikipedia front page's "In the news" box. It's good to stay informed, but most news sources have adopted a habit of stoking fears of being uninformed for ANY length of time. Reading every new thing that pops up after a major event becomes a pattern of clawing for more dopamine. I'll have none of it. It all feels like a gambling addiction to me, and seems to produce the same withdrawal symptoms.
If you feel like you don't have time for anything, start timing your habits and figuring out what activity (especially idling activity) is filling up that time. You know you'll have been successful when you find boredom again. The Internet never wants you to be bored. It must occupy as many of your precious minutes as possible to increase ad revenue and engagement. I feel that the toxification of Twitter and social media in general has elevated FA's status as a relevant social network again. Imagine a website that wishes to show you content in an organized and efficient fashion! Whaaaat?? A grid of links on a page?? Indexing?? No doomscrolling? What is this madness?? I'll take the clunky UI if it means getting slightly more genuine-feeling interaction.
I'm streaming more often now on https://www.twitch.tv/swishchee. Thanks to Rocket fox for showing me the way to get a working 3D model for vtubing! I had to replace the old one I had that used facerig. I'm still stretching my creative brain on composing recent art so I can renew some of the carefree feelings I had early on regarding drawing, before encountering some bad influences.
I've also been using VRChat way more, and have been doing lots of 3D modeling that doesn't really show up here. I'm honestly not sure where I'd be putting it! Screenshots rarely do the stuff justice. I have been making worlds there, though. I originally built tons of 3D environment stuff back in the Second Life (and even Activeworlds) days. You can find me as swishchee on VRChat. I also have been doing half of my sketching over there in the form of those 3D pencils.
It's been quite a long haul getting out of the low confidence slump, and lots of other habits began to fill the time void that the low confidence carved out. I've been purging myself of recent Internet trends, especially ones revolving around the slot machine user interface (e.g. refresh the page to get a new infinite-scroll stream of randomized content delivery), and that's been freeing up a lot of time.
I've also been disengaging from the news outside the Wikipedia front page's "In the news" box. It's good to stay informed, but most news sources have adopted a habit of stoking fears of being uninformed for ANY length of time. Reading every new thing that pops up after a major event becomes a pattern of clawing for more dopamine. I'll have none of it. It all feels like a gambling addiction to me, and seems to produce the same withdrawal symptoms.
If you feel like you don't have time for anything, start timing your habits and figuring out what activity (especially idling activity) is filling up that time. You know you'll have been successful when you find boredom again. The Internet never wants you to be bored. It must occupy as many of your precious minutes as possible to increase ad revenue and engagement. I feel that the toxification of Twitter and social media in general has elevated FA's status as a relevant social network again. Imagine a website that wishes to show you content in an organized and efficient fashion! Whaaaat?? A grid of links on a page?? Indexing?? No doomscrolling? What is this madness?? I'll take the clunky UI if it means getting slightly more genuine-feeling interaction.
I'm streaming more often now on https://www.twitch.tv/swishchee. Thanks to Rocket fox for showing me the way to get a working 3D model for vtubing! I had to replace the old one I had that used facerig. I'm still stretching my creative brain on composing recent art so I can renew some of the carefree feelings I had early on regarding drawing, before encountering some bad influences.
I've also been using VRChat way more, and have been doing lots of 3D modeling that doesn't really show up here. I'm honestly not sure where I'd be putting it! Screenshots rarely do the stuff justice. I have been making worlds there, though. I originally built tons of 3D environment stuff back in the Second Life (and even Activeworlds) days. You can find me as swishchee on VRChat. I also have been doing half of my sketching over there in the form of those 3D pencils.
This is nice
Posted 5 years agoDespite all the events that have transpired over the past year or so, 2020 has been a much better year for me than 2019. I've been directly and strongly impacted by the events everyone by now is keenly aware of. However, it's been pretty alright.
I just wanted to populate my profile front page with something better. I plan on opening for commissions uhhhhhhhhh sometime. I'm still getting used to the whole idea of people wanting commissions. Impostor syndrome is real.
I just wanted to populate my profile front page with something better. I plan on opening for commissions uhhhhhhhhh sometime. I'm still getting used to the whole idea of people wanting commissions. Impostor syndrome is real.
Confidence almost entirely destroyed.
Posted 6 years agoYou can skip this journal post as it is mostly just me talking out into the void trying to figure myself out. To be cliche, I might just delete this post later. If anything, I'm typing this as a sort of raw dump of what's going on in my mind, lest anyone else be struggling with confidence issues of their own. I know that some of you might look up to me, so I feel it's a good opportunity to let you grasp what I've been going through on a daily basis mentally for the past year. This isn't something I'll be tweeting or any of that.
You may have noticed a precipitous drop in output over the past year. To be frank, all it took was a singular group of events to make all of 2019 come crashing down for me. I would say march through now has been a constant pattern of "trying to get back into the swing of things." and it's something I keep telling myself over and over. I just haven't been putting out art the way I would have liked. Some of the chief sources of inspiration, through an unfortunate turn of events, ended up becoming the chief sources of discouragement. Huge, huge mistake to let myself become inspired so heavily without keeping my distance and keeping myself diversified. It's been multiple therapists and no help, multiple prescription changes and no help. The busy day job and distracting instantly-gratifying events have worked to fill the void left behind with my low confidence in stuff like this.
2019 cannot die quickly enough. This was a horrible, horrible year for me, wrought with emptiness, a complete lack of satisfaction, and this complete petrification whenever I try to dive down and get back into making art.
And before any of you come around to say something, make sure it's not one of these things, all of which I've heard before. I appreciate the gesture if you wanted to say these things but you also do not understand.
"Don't worry about it, take as long of a break as you need." -- Having the confidence to pursue this creative endeavor gives me a sort of warmth and fulfillment that nothing else in life ever has. To take more breaks from this (like I'm already technically doing) is only making the emptiness more pervasive, the confidence even worse as I spend more time not practicing.
"You shouldn't define your self-worth on your productive output." -- This doesn't work for two reasons. 1: I'm not doing it for a sense of self worth. I'm doing it because I get true joy being able to freely swim through the art world and tackle the challenges it brings me. The sense of self worth comes from how I interpret that regular feeling of joy. 2: Even if it was the reason why I was drawing/painting/animating, telling me how things should be when my brain simply isn't wired to think that way doesn't work. If it did, the entire field of psychology wouldn't exist and we could simply solve all of our problems via single instances of logical deduction.
"You're an amazing artist! You've improved so quickly. Don't get so discouraged!" Would you believe me if I told you that I believe you? I mean, I strongly feel that I am at least somewhat competent. I am pretty good, and I know there are certain things I can do that aren't very common in creating this stuff. However, I only know this logically. From a deeply-rooted, internalized viewpoint, I don't see myself as having any drawing ability whatsoever, and I look back on my previous year of relatively little art output and can only constantly question where things went wrong. It's a negative feedback loop and I hate it. I've been trying to escape from it constantly and I've found no way out.
I really do want to get back into drawing for you guys. It is such a vibrant and free way to express myself, and looking back on the past year, 2019 is a total loss for me. This year can go fuck itself. Seriously. Maybe things will improve in 2020 but I'm not holding out any hope. I'd rather not have misplaced expectations get dashed.
Merry Christmas,
Swish
You may have noticed a precipitous drop in output over the past year. To be frank, all it took was a singular group of events to make all of 2019 come crashing down for me. I would say march through now has been a constant pattern of "trying to get back into the swing of things." and it's something I keep telling myself over and over. I just haven't been putting out art the way I would have liked. Some of the chief sources of inspiration, through an unfortunate turn of events, ended up becoming the chief sources of discouragement. Huge, huge mistake to let myself become inspired so heavily without keeping my distance and keeping myself diversified. It's been multiple therapists and no help, multiple prescription changes and no help. The busy day job and distracting instantly-gratifying events have worked to fill the void left behind with my low confidence in stuff like this.
2019 cannot die quickly enough. This was a horrible, horrible year for me, wrought with emptiness, a complete lack of satisfaction, and this complete petrification whenever I try to dive down and get back into making art.
And before any of you come around to say something, make sure it's not one of these things, all of which I've heard before. I appreciate the gesture if you wanted to say these things but you also do not understand.
"Don't worry about it, take as long of a break as you need." -- Having the confidence to pursue this creative endeavor gives me a sort of warmth and fulfillment that nothing else in life ever has. To take more breaks from this (like I'm already technically doing) is only making the emptiness more pervasive, the confidence even worse as I spend more time not practicing.
"You shouldn't define your self-worth on your productive output." -- This doesn't work for two reasons. 1: I'm not doing it for a sense of self worth. I'm doing it because I get true joy being able to freely swim through the art world and tackle the challenges it brings me. The sense of self worth comes from how I interpret that regular feeling of joy. 2: Even if it was the reason why I was drawing/painting/animating, telling me how things should be when my brain simply isn't wired to think that way doesn't work. If it did, the entire field of psychology wouldn't exist and we could simply solve all of our problems via single instances of logical deduction.
"You're an amazing artist! You've improved so quickly. Don't get so discouraged!" Would you believe me if I told you that I believe you? I mean, I strongly feel that I am at least somewhat competent. I am pretty good, and I know there are certain things I can do that aren't very common in creating this stuff. However, I only know this logically. From a deeply-rooted, internalized viewpoint, I don't see myself as having any drawing ability whatsoever, and I look back on my previous year of relatively little art output and can only constantly question where things went wrong. It's a negative feedback loop and I hate it. I've been trying to escape from it constantly and I've found no way out.
I really do want to get back into drawing for you guys. It is such a vibrant and free way to express myself, and looking back on the past year, 2019 is a total loss for me. This year can go fuck itself. Seriously. Maybe things will improve in 2020 but I'm not holding out any hope. I'd rather not have misplaced expectations get dashed.
Merry Christmas,
Swish
I need to reply to u guys more
Posted 7 years agoseriously I gotta interact with some of yall. It's been so long and I used to be very persistent in interacting. sorry bout the dry spell like that. I've mainly been active on twitter. it can get kinda clunky usin FA; feels like I'm stepping out of a toyota corolla and into a De Dion Bouton 8CV.
in that spirit, i plan to push rapidly the crow-bar forward WITHOUT BRUTALITY
in that spirit, i plan to push rapidly the crow-bar forward WITHOUT BRUTALITY
BLFC
Posted 7 years agoI'm going again, I made a badge as well and I'll post it here and on twitter if anyone's curious about how to spot me.
No real plans this time around. Probably lots of room parties.
No real plans this time around. Probably lots of room parties.
Adult art.
Posted 8 years agoI've pondered venturing into it (and have already, just haven't posted anything).
How do people here feel about seeing such things? I was thinking about just putting it under an alt or just posting it here in the mix. In my mind the line between adult/non-adult is only as distinct as arbitrary rules make it out to be.
How do people here feel about seeing such things? I was thinking about just putting it under an alt or just posting it here in the mix. In my mind the line between adult/non-adult is only as distinct as arbitrary rules make it out to be.
Patreon ideas
Posted 8 years agoHey hey everyone,
So it's been suggested to me to start a Patreon. I have actually had an incomplete WIP Patreon page for about a year now, so I am working on continuing/completing that over the next few days. I just need some ideas. What sorts of things would you like to see in a Patreon setup from me?
So it's been suggested to me to start a Patreon. I have actually had an incomplete WIP Patreon page for about a year now, so I am working on continuing/completing that over the next few days. I just need some ideas. What sorts of things would you like to see in a Patreon setup from me?
I'm alive!
Posted 8 years agoIt's just been a while and I'm being very bad about uploading things. I completed some things and have been sketching a lot in the background. I'll definitely get around to posting these!
2K Watchers
Posted 8 years agoYikes guys. That seemed kind of quick. The first 1K took about a year. This took 5 months and I had massive gaps in between where I didn't draw much of anything.
I'm still really surprised, because my stuff is kind of experimental for sure, and I'm still just learning. I really need to draw something for you guys to thank you.
But seriously, thank you for your support and interest. It gives me a sense of purpose in a life that often seems to lack it. If I can keep making y'all grin and laugh and cry then I'll stick to it.
My characters thank you too. They're happy to be out in the open instead of stuck in my head with me having had no idea they were even there in the first place.
I'm still really surprised, because my stuff is kind of experimental for sure, and I'm still just learning. I really need to draw something for you guys to thank you.
But seriously, thank you for your support and interest. It gives me a sense of purpose in a life that often seems to lack it. If I can keep making y'all grin and laugh and cry then I'll stick to it.
My characters thank you too. They're happy to be out in the open instead of stuck in my head with me having had no idea they were even there in the first place.
Driving to BLFC
Posted 8 years agoI'll be leaving Wednesday and taking a day or two to drive to Reno. The desert is my favorite part of the country, and I want to immerse myself in it once more. I might be making prints to bring along with me because why not. I've got a printer, some ink, some paper, all that.
Who else is going to BLFC?
Who else is going to BLFC?
Streaming again
Posted 8 years agohttps://www.twitch.tv/swishchee
Come join the huge number of people viewing my channel at the moment! Standing room only, of course.
Come join the huge number of people viewing my channel at the moment! Standing room only, of course.
Setraming again
Posted 8 years agoStreaming!
Posted 8 years agoStreaming again
Posted 8 years agoSwish will be streaming soonish
Posted 8 years agoI've been so busy with other things that it's been a crazy amount of time since I last drew and streamed, so I plan on streaming in a little bit, so putting this announcement out ahead of time. Go to https://www.twitch.tv/swishchee and I'll be online shortly. :]
Don't expect the same type of delays between drawings in the future. I just had a ton of stuff to do these past couple of months, so I sort of dropped off the face of the planet.
- Swish
Don't expect the same type of delays between drawings in the future. I just had a ton of stuff to do these past couple of months, so I sort of dropped off the face of the planet.
- Swish
FWA and status
Posted 8 years agoHey guys! I'll be at FWA as well, making this the most condensed-with-cons span of time I've ever had in my life.
Also an update: I've been doing some behind the scenes practice just experimenting beyond my comfort zone in lots of different areas, so apologies for the lack of new stuff.
Who else is going to FWA?
Also an update: I've been doing some behind the scenes practice just experimenting beyond my comfort zone in lots of different areas, so apologies for the lack of new stuff.
Who else is going to FWA?
that day when Swish learned that square mattes are rare...
Posted 8 years agoI love learning new things each time I venture into art galleries/stores or order something online. For the past couple of days, it's been that square mattes are super rare. My binge of square pictures meant I had to exhaust the supply of 2 stores + most of the supply of a third (with about 200 miles of driving between two cities) to get the mattes needed.
Lesson learned! I'll try to think ahead more next time.
- Swish
Lesson learned! I'll try to think ahead more next time.
- Swish
Reason for lack of posting.
Posted 8 years agoSorry for the lack of posting for a while. Things have not been good for me recently. It's taking a lot just to get through things day by day.
What do you like? What do you want to see more of?
Posted 8 years agoBasically the title above. I'd love to know what tickles your fancy! I'm gauging interest because it can be fun interacting with people esp. on stream, and if I'm streaming something people might like to see, I might have some more fun interaction going on ;]
Heck, what sorts of things (in terms of stream formats/interaction/etc) do you generally enjoy when watching art streams? What do you wish there was more of?
Heck, what sorts of things (in terms of stream formats/interaction/etc) do you generally enjoy when watching art streams? What do you wish there was more of?
Working on something for all of you.
Posted 8 years agoSorry for the delay in posting, guys. I've been working on something rather large and involved. Also, other life things getting in the way that I also have to get done. If you want to watch me as I draw these things, please tune into my channel on Twitch:
https://www.twitch.tv/swishchee
I also archive old videos so you can see what's been done so far.
https://www.twitch.tv/swishchee
I also archive old videos so you can see what's been done so far.
Going to ANE
Posted 9 years agoI'm going to Anthro New England if anyone else will be there. I'm also bringing some prints with me if you're interested :]
- Swish
- Swish
1K Watchers??
Posted 9 years agoWow guys. I don't know what to say. I'm really greatly appreciative of your interest in the things I experiment on and put out. I didn't think the interest would be growing as fast as it is. The best I can do is try to be more proactive in announcing streams. Eventually, once I get more disciplined, I'd like to stick to a bit of a more consistent schedule too so I don't just suddenly pop on stream without warning.
I've found that due to the streamlined interface, I most often post my stream announcements on Twitter (@swishchee).
It's approaching a year since I made my first digital art piece (January 19th, but posted here on 2nd of Feb of last year). So I might revisit the same pose seeing what I've learned.
- Swish
I've found that due to the streamlined interface, I most often post my stream announcements on Twitter (@swishchee).
It's approaching a year since I made my first digital art piece (January 19th, but posted here on 2nd of Feb of last year). So I might revisit the same pose seeing what I've learned.
- Swish
Whoa 900 watchers? [prev = Grumpy African Wild Dog Stream]
Posted 9 years ago[old post]GRUMP.
GRUMP.
GRUMP.
https://picarto.tv/swishchee
[/old post, stream is over]
Dang guys. 2 weeks later, 900 watchers. I'm really surprised. I don't really know what to say except thanks for your enthusiasm! I'll keep trying to push myself to improve with each new thing. You may have seen recently that I've been trying to experiment a bit more with expression, distortion of proportion, and even some line art.
I'm trying to just get more confident with being "wrong" or making really loose drawings look right even if proportions are highly exaggerated.
The African Wild Dog painting I just finished was heavily inspired by
kenket's shite badge stream with her brother. Such mayhem made me a bit more comfortable to experiment.
You might not see too much of me in January. Some IRL things are going on which will be keeping me pretty busy. I might still post things here or there, but be prepared if it isn't a whole lot.
GRUMP.
GRUMP.
https://picarto.tv/swishchee
[/old post, stream is over]
Dang guys. 2 weeks later, 900 watchers. I'm really surprised. I don't really know what to say except thanks for your enthusiasm! I'll keep trying to push myself to improve with each new thing. You may have seen recently that I've been trying to experiment a bit more with expression, distortion of proportion, and even some line art.
I'm trying to just get more confident with being "wrong" or making really loose drawings look right even if proportions are highly exaggerated.
The African Wild Dog painting I just finished was heavily inspired by
kenket's shite badge stream with her brother. Such mayhem made me a bit more comfortable to experiment.You might not see too much of me in January. Some IRL things are going on which will be keeping me pretty busy. I might still post things here or there, but be prepared if it isn't a whole lot.
Please, please check out these artists.
Posted 9 years agoOne of the hardest things an artist faces is getting their name out there if they wish to get some kind of business or momentum going. I watch a few artists who are also into painting and lighting and texture, and relatively few people have the opportunity to check out their amazing work. I want to plug these guys because they deserve far more attention than they currently have.
skitalets check out this artist's sense of composition and color, also this artist keeps a painterly traditional feel despite having a digital medium. I'm always a fan of that :]
raaz This artist just joined FA but I think they're going to go far. Check out their sense of emotion in the pictures.
noistrukk I've been watching this guy since I joined FA in January. I love his sketchy chaotic hyena characters, and he has a good sense of composition, especially with his recent landscape.
kenjomik I've been watching what this artist has been doing over on Twitter a lot. They have a great grasp of traditional coloring and painting and I love much of the plein air-type things they do too.
kentori I'd say when it comes to polish, this artist blows me out of the water, especially when it comes to intricate landscape sketches. Also, check out their expressions! The faces almost have an Aaron Blaise feel to them.
iamsonoxx This artist has some great variety and I enjoy seeing the different things they try, from feral to anthro to whole scenes, some interactions, etc. I also have to root for the self-taught peeps, being self-taught myself!
akulatraxas So this artist does photography and I don't usually watch much photography. However, his photos are spectacular. If you need some ideas on what good color and composition is like, look no further. Good ref photos for practice too!
antanariva This person's sense of shading reminds me of silverfoxx, almost! They have great expressions too.
anthonyavon What a great concept artist this person is. I love his sense of texture and his comprehensive manipulation of Photoshop's features (I believe he uses Photoshop, I'm sorta guessing)
anti-heros This artist is about as new as I am! Check out their landscapes. I'd say they're making great progress. I love watching artists make breakthroughs over time.
cantrezhere Great emotion, color, expression, anatomy, character design, etc. Definitely worth watching!
Sorry if I missed some people! I was rather hastily putting this post together. I just had the urge to plug some people.
- Swish
skitalets check out this artist's sense of composition and color, also this artist keeps a painterly traditional feel despite having a digital medium. I'm always a fan of that :]
raaz This artist just joined FA but I think they're going to go far. Check out their sense of emotion in the pictures.
noistrukk I've been watching this guy since I joined FA in January. I love his sketchy chaotic hyena characters, and he has a good sense of composition, especially with his recent landscape.
kenjomik I've been watching what this artist has been doing over on Twitter a lot. They have a great grasp of traditional coloring and painting and I love much of the plein air-type things they do too.
kentori I'd say when it comes to polish, this artist blows me out of the water, especially when it comes to intricate landscape sketches. Also, check out their expressions! The faces almost have an Aaron Blaise feel to them.
iamsonoxx This artist has some great variety and I enjoy seeing the different things they try, from feral to anthro to whole scenes, some interactions, etc. I also have to root for the self-taught peeps, being self-taught myself!
akulatraxas So this artist does photography and I don't usually watch much photography. However, his photos are spectacular. If you need some ideas on what good color and composition is like, look no further. Good ref photos for practice too!
antanariva This person's sense of shading reminds me of silverfoxx, almost! They have great expressions too.
anthonyavon What a great concept artist this person is. I love his sense of texture and his comprehensive manipulation of Photoshop's features (I believe he uses Photoshop, I'm sorta guessing)
anti-heros This artist is about as new as I am! Check out their landscapes. I'd say they're making great progress. I love watching artists make breakthroughs over time.
cantrezhere Great emotion, color, expression, anatomy, character design, etc. Definitely worth watching!Sorry if I missed some people! I was rather hastily putting this post together. I just had the urge to plug some people.
- Swish
