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A question about life
Posted 2 months agoSo... Hey.
Just personal, mostly irl shit. Don't read if you aren't interested in that.
(Or if it's you, the person because of whom I'm fucking lost. Don't read it, don't message me again. If you're not going to fix what you've done, just unwatch me, block me.)
I know that artistic people often a bit different from... Uh... normal people? Maybe someone could tell me something useful.
I'm introvert, to put it mildly. I believe this thing like I live is called to be hikikomori, or whatever. I'm staying in my room most of the time, unable to make new acquaintances and very bad in conversations. Even small necessary things that require to leave the apartment and interact with strangers are making me almost panic. I'm usually trying to hold it back but it's pretty unpleasant.
Once in the past I've almost fainted when I've had to wait in a queue in the hallway full of people.
I haven't been outside for years.
I've had a very close friend, a partner I'd say even, for a very, very long time. They were the only one with whom I saw the future. Gods, I'm even flew to them by the plane and it felt okay, since I knew that I'm doing that for them, that I'll meet them for the first time. (We live in different cities)
But not so long ago they decided to break up with me after fifteen years of being together because I wasn't enough for them.
So the question is... How such people like me survive at all? It's so damn lonely and I see no future. I'm not a teen anymore to think "oh, it'll change", not even a young adult probably, I'm 31...
How people find the right person?
I'm have some quirks that aren't common in relationships, for example a desire to live childfree and a problems with intimacy that will definitely require a lot of patience and trust building if it will ever happen at all.
I feel like this is important but I can't just tell someone I barely know: "If we gonna be a thing, just know: no kids and no grabbing me for now, since I have a problem with being touched".
*sigh* I just don't know. At all.
Even to kms would be quite hard because human beings are too tenacious of life. There are no easy ways...
Just personal, mostly irl shit. Don't read if you aren't interested in that.
(Or if it's you, the person because of whom I'm fucking lost. Don't read it, don't message me again. If you're not going to fix what you've done, just unwatch me, block me.)
I know that artistic people often a bit different from... Uh... normal people? Maybe someone could tell me something useful.
I'm introvert, to put it mildly. I believe this thing like I live is called to be hikikomori, or whatever. I'm staying in my room most of the time, unable to make new acquaintances and very bad in conversations. Even small necessary things that require to leave the apartment and interact with strangers are making me almost panic. I'm usually trying to hold it back but it's pretty unpleasant.
Once in the past I've almost fainted when I've had to wait in a queue in the hallway full of people.
I haven't been outside for years.
I've had a very close friend, a partner I'd say even, for a very, very long time. They were the only one with whom I saw the future. Gods, I'm even flew to them by the plane and it felt okay, since I knew that I'm doing that for them, that I'll meet them for the first time. (We live in different cities)
But not so long ago they decided to break up with me after fifteen years of being together because I wasn't enough for them.
So the question is... How such people like me survive at all? It's so damn lonely and I see no future. I'm not a teen anymore to think "oh, it'll change", not even a young adult probably, I'm 31...
How people find the right person?
I'm have some quirks that aren't common in relationships, for example a desire to live childfree and a problems with intimacy that will definitely require a lot of patience and trust building if it will ever happen at all.
I feel like this is important but I can't just tell someone I barely know: "If we gonna be a thing, just know: no kids and no grabbing me for now, since I have a problem with being touched".
*sigh* I just don't know. At all.
Even to kms would be quite hard because human beings are too tenacious of life. There are no easy ways...
So
Posted 3 years agoWith that situation I don't know what to do.
Paypal doesn't work, most alternatives closed account registration for country where I live.
Maybe I'll try to use paysend but as I heard it's not stable. And there is no guarantee that it will continue to work.
I live far away from west country border so at least for now I'm far from real problems.
Definitely didn't expect that something like this can happen. I thought people could use their head these days, but I guess not in our country..
I want to leave this planet, also sorry for my bad english
I hope all of you're okay~
Stay safe <3
Paypal doesn't work, most alternatives closed account registration for country where I live.
Maybe I'll try to use paysend but as I heard it's not stable. And there is no guarantee that it will continue to work.
I live far away from west country border so at least for now I'm far from real problems.
Definitely didn't expect that something like this can happen. I thought people could use their head these days, but I guess not in our country..
I want to leave this planet, also sorry for my bad english
I hope all of you're okay~
Stay safe <3
To-Do List
Posted 8 years agoCommissions: Check for available slots.
You can also check:
• YCH
• Adopts
Progress:
▼▼▼ - 0% queue ( * - waiting).
▼▼▼ - >0% Starting
▼▼▼ - ~50% Halfway
▼▼▼ - 100% Done
LIST:
In progress:
▼▼▼ Sketch commission for Irkalla (*details)
▼▼▼ Commission for Oray
▼▼▼ YCH commission for Flippytigress and KOcenaheart
▼▼▼ YCH commission for Traiyscara
Done:
▼▼▼ Portrait commission for Muriat
▼▼▼ Portrait commission for BlackscaletheWise
▼▼▼ Sketch commission for Traiyscara
▼▼▼ Portrait commission for BlackscaletheWise
You can also check:
• YCH
• Adopts
Progress:
▼▼▼ - 0% queue ( * - waiting).
▼▼▼ - >0% Starting
▼▼▼ - ~50% Halfway
▼▼▼ - 100% Done
LIST:
In progress:
▼▼▼ Sketch commission for Irkalla (*details)
▼▼▼ Commission for Oray
▼▼▼ YCH commission for Flippytigress and KOcenaheart
▼▼▼ YCH commission for Traiyscara
Done:
▼▼▼ Portrait commission for Muriat
▼▼▼ Portrait commission for BlackscaletheWise
▼▼▼ Sketch commission for Traiyscara
▼▼▼ Portrait commission for BlackscaletheWise
