I feel as though it is time to move to a new account. Razz is one of my older characters and I feel I have out grown him. Not saying I dislike him anymore, but I do feel held back while still here under his name. Cronux however is my newest character and I feel that when assuming his identity, I can really push my boundaries and open up and talk to people. My new account name is Cronux_The_Kobold

(As told by Cronux)

Dear journal

You remember how in my last writing, Cronux mentioned meeting an associate and planned to go with him to raid an abandoned wizard's tower? Well that ended in disaster. Shortly after we left town, we were ambushed by a group of kinsman. Blue and white kobolds from what Cronux could see. Cronux's half-elf associate was killed, Cronux was captured. They ended up taking Cronux to the very tower I was going to. The bound me up, gagged me, blindfolded me, and beat me. While Cronux does enjoy the kinky stuff, this was far too much. Finally, they threw Cronux into a prison cell and my, now deceased, friend. Cronux is unsure of how long I was in there, but eventually, Cronux's current companions broke down the door and greeted me with, "Give us a reason not to kill you." And in far more words, Cronux explained that I am a rogue. Traits that were apparently desired in the group as they didn't kill me right away. In fact, they untied me. There is a dwarf, an elf, and some sort of demon woman. They never gave Cronux their names and the dwarf took all my things and the demon woman (whom is probably over twice as tall as Cronux) lifted me up and oddly enough, sat me atop her head, the view however was nice I suppose. It did not take long for the group to show their obvious contempt for Cronux's kobold existence. At least Cronux understands the dwarf's problem, but I don't get the elf's. The demon woman at least seems to tolerate Cronux's presence, but every now and then she does or says something and Cronux cannot figure out if she thinks I'm cute or stupid. It makes Cronux think of when he sees humans talking to their pet dog and it rubs me the wrong way. It's definitely obvious that Cronux is just a tool for the party to use and an ally of convenience.
Our first night together, Cronux learned why they came here to begin with. Apparently a local Minotaur has attained a rather hefty bounty on its head. Earlier we heard what we believed to be the Minotaur, but fighting it on even ground would have been a death sentence, so we fled.
The next day we learned it was no longer on site, so the demon woman lit the tower on fire and we left. The dwarf chased after some kobolds that got smoked out of the building, but naturally he lost them. We are now camping for the night, outside the tower. Maybe if Cronux were to more properly introduce myself, they'll lighten up. Maybe they'll even give Cronux their names!

Uh oh, they are looking at Cronux oddly. Got to go!

Species: Kobold (based on pathfinder)
Age: 18
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Pansexual
Favored Drink: Mead

Cronux (pronounced Crow-nus) began his life like many other kobolds, in a tribe. His tribe was known as the Iron Maw tribe and they weren't that different from most kobold tribes of the land. They kept to themselves and ran a mine. But one day, a dragon by the name of Krovin appeared and decided he would enslave and make a meal of the whole tribe. Fearful for his life, Cronux managed to flee his tribe's ancestral home.

For a kobold of his age, life alone in the wilderness would have been a death sentence, but luck shined for Cronux that day as he was found and taken in by a human bard by the name of Rienfrid and his traveling troupe. Agreeing to take care of the young kobold so long as he pulled his weight and helped the troupe. To this end, Cronux started small, assisting in setting the stage, and moving props, but eventually moved up, received training and began participating in acts and shows. Rienfrid himself and his friend Hugo began mentoring Cronux in not just the ways of song and dance, but also subterfuge and combat. Cronux would find other kobolds a rarity and would begin finding all the different peoples around him attractive in their own way, but only Rienfrid truly had a place in Cronux's heart. Cronux could never bring himself to admit this to his dear friend. This was the good life for Cronux, but it would not last.

After a day's performance in the capital, Cronux would spend the evening at a local tavern enjoying song and drink with the locals. He would return to the troupe's camp later that night, only to see it ablaze. Fear and panic swept over Cronux as he desperately searched for survivors but all he would find that night was Rienfrid, laying dead on the ground. Cronux was wracked with grief with the thought of, "I never got to tell him how I felt!" repeating through his head as tears streamed from his eyes.

The next day, Cronux would find a handful of survivors, but they had spent the night in the city and didn't know what had happened. Rienfrid was what held the troupe together and with him gone, everyone decided to go their separate ways. Cronux was alone again, but he was better than he once was. He would soon find though, that without his friends, many people began looking at Cronux very differently. Racism for kobolds was on the rise. The locals began blaming Cronux for what happened to his troupe, but before things got violent Cronux decided to hit the road again. He would never stay in one place for long. People that would travel with him would note that his was oddly charismatic for a kobold and was very high spirited and even flirty. Most people would never get to know him well enough to learn the pain that wracked his heart, the nightmares that plagued his dreams, or why he drank so frequently. Cronux hid his pain with happiness.

Owner's notes: Cronux was inspired from wanting to do something different from my norm. In RPGs, I typically play the serious characters with emphasis on melee combat. I wanted a more playful/silly character that could also be witty and clever and what could be better than a kobold? I also wanted Cronux to be a bit flirty, but not a douche. In his mind he isn't flirting, because he never got to confess his affections for Rienfrid, he almost compulsively gives compliments to people, so to them it comes off as flirting. Cronux is a red scaled kobold that is a bit taller than the average. He wields a rapier and is skilled with throwing knives. He is very outgoing and is willing to try anything. Due to being so disconnected from his own kind, he tends to be more attracted to a person's personality, but with that said he can also find a person's physical features attractive as well. To that end, gender is meaningless to him. Everyone is capable of having a good time with him!

Side note: Cronux can be found in Fek's Rack 2. Just go to Rack Net and do a name search for him. I try to keep him up to date with the different versions.

My parent's home is still underwater and they can only be reached via boat, so I've been calling out to others, mainly close friends, to see if they need help. That call was answered. Called in to work for tomorrow and will be going out to see if I can help a long time friend salvage and demo the carpeting and sheet rock in his home. Everyone else is doing all they can and so must I

Last weekend a huge storm passed over my home in Louisiana. Baton Rouge and Livingston parish reported +3 feet of rainfall in just 3 days. Over 100,000 people are reported homeless, two of those people are my parents. I was lucky and had no major flooding in my area, but now I'm cut off from my parents and while I can talk to them over the phone, I can't help but worry as I can't see them or help them. I have lived here all my life and survived several Hurricanes, but this event was far worse. I sit by, helpless, waiting for the waters to recede.

I've been working over my story and the world within it. Even made several edits to Torrance the Shade in the hopes of it and the sequels after it to be published. This has led me to develop my characters more, to be three dimensional.

Torrance has become an anti-social hero in reflection of my own anti-social habits, but like him, I don't hate people, I'm just not adept or confident in dealing with people. He can lead people, much like I have in online games like Mechwarrior Online, but to deal with people on a more personal level is a whole different beast.

Thio has become an incredibly caring person (Although she may have already been), to the point where she'll toss aside her own personal safety to help someone. She's naturally curious of other people and often worries about what they think of her. She is very much the opposite to Torrance as my fiancee is to myself and so I based their relationship off of my fiancee and my own relationship.

Razz has become similar to the classic popular boy at high school trope, he's big, he's strong, he likes physical activity, but he's not a bully, he's actually a very kind and caring person, especially when it comes to family. His popularity however has made him into something of an idol, which for him makes relationships hard, he doesn't want to be seen as an idol, he wants to be seen as a person and wants that most of all in a potential significant other, but thus far, not having much luck.

So, as a writer, I have to come up with a lot of characters. The really good ones are taken from different elements of my own personality. And here they are! The stars of the show!

Torrance Meneset: He is a human standing at 6' 1" Light skin and a lean, fit build. Short, brown, windswept hair and a thin goatee. Wearing enchanted armor that is a combination of black chainmail and bronze scalemail. A long flowing black cape with a hood flows behind him. He wears the hood up during foul weather. He wields Fenrir, a hand and a half sword of unknown construct. The silver blade has dark grey swirls and spirals down the filler and the guard and end piece is dark gray with copper swirls. He is a strong man of honor with an affinity for dragons and blades in general. Absolutely hates spiders. Alignment: Neutral Good

Zoran: a draconic (anthropomorphic dragon) standing at a perfect 6'. His scales are dark purple with a navy blue underbelly. Muscular and intimidating, his head has several short spikes growing from the back. He wears armor that is a mixture of platemail and scalemail. The plates have been stained dark green in color, while the scales remain steel silver in color. He wields a massive spear forged by a paragon dragon that is solid onyx in color and texture. He is very hot-headed and received training from the dragoon order, giving him massive strength and jump range, as well as a limited magic capability. Later in his career, he finds himself under the wing of Torrance for further disapline and keeping his anger in check. Alignment: Chaotic Good

Thio: a draconic standing at 5' 6". She has solid silver scales with blue undertones. She has a thin, yet well toned build. A pair of solid horns sprout from the back of her head and a strong pair of wings. Early in her career, she followed the standard draconic no-clothes tradition, but in later times, she begins wearing a combination of leather and chainmail armor due to the massive increase in danger. A mage by trade, early on she uses no weapons other then her own powers, but after the first set of major events, she uses a single edged curved sword (similar to a katana) made of adamantium, the only metal strong enough to withstand the powers she is now forced to focus through her blade. Kind hearted and always looking to help others. She moves with an unmatched grace and agility. Growing up listening to the tales of Torrance, she was fascenated by the human. A fasciantion that only deepened upon meeting the man. Alignment: Lawful Good

Razz: a beastfolk of the grey wolf tribe (anthropomorphic grey wolf) standing at 6' 5". Shaggy dark grey fur hides a particularly muscular body. He also bears a large scar on his back from a sword slash. He wears the hides and scales of particularly tough monsters he and his tribesman have slain as armor. He wields a large spear, masterfully crafted by his people. Having limited training from the dragoons and the newly crowned chieftain of his tribe. He is a kind hearted individual and a patriot by definition. He often finds himself in admiration of others whom are patriotic even if it's towards other people. He has an odd hatred for bananas. Alignment: Lawful Good

Finally! After waiting over a whole year, my plans have come to fruition. I have graduated from college and have a job lined up. My beloved could not be any more proud of me and my own heart burns brightly with pride and happiness. So ends this chapter of my life. So ends my age of hardship and lowliness. Let the age of pride and achievement commence. First step is to pay off all my debts, then get a home for myself and my love. I continue onward ever stronger. Come what may, I will conquer.

Often I face myself with this question and the answers aren't always clear, but during my recent fall to illness, I've had plenty of time to think and then ideas came and since I don't work with beliefs, regardless of minor or major. "Why?" you may ask. quite simple really, people fight and die everyday over beliefs. When was the last person who died over an idea? Ideas are easier to change or to accept. So, here is what I've come up with about myself: I consider myself christian even though I don't agree in most things with most churches, I am quick to point out anything I consider wrong/unjust, even if good was intended or was within something I consider myself involved with (my religion is no exception), I have strong feelings for, if you want respect from me, you must first show me respect. I feel that there is a great evil all through out the world yet, powerless do anything about it. I hate most sports, but my swordsmanship is my passion and long to find someone as passionate as I so we can have glorious fights where I have no need to hold back. Above all, I feel that our society is taking a downturn. No one thinks or even asks why. Someone once said, "We are only taught enough to be able to perform a task, but not enough to ask why the task must be done." And then we look on TV and you see all these people who act as though nothing matters or like they dropped out of kindergarten. Why is this called a TV show? What kind of example is this setting? Are they trying to show it's okay to parade around like the things in school we were taught or what our parents taught us mean nothing? But I digress. On a less serious note, I love to joke and goof around, my girlfriend and I are quite a match in part due to our sense of humor. I have a natural "pack" mentality as I prefer small groups and hate noisy and/or crowded areas. Family is important to me and so are my friends. To the few people I consider my best friends, there is no where I wouldn't go and nothing I wouldn't do to help them. Does this mean I would kill someone if they asked me? No, because I trust them enough not to put me in a position like that. I am a thinker. I am a nerd. I am proud. I am a fighter. I am a philosopher. I am a gamer. I am me.

So I've recently been inspired to make chainmaille again. I plan on giving my current armor a major overhaul and make it fully combat capable. Have a blacksmith friend whom can hopefully black my shirt for me, going to get custom fit plate bracers, going to make black chain gloves with bronze scales. When the shirt is done, I'm going to add bronze scales following the spine and covering the chest and shoulders, then finally, I'm going to make a sheet of bronze scales to wrap over the shin area of my boots. It will be badass!

On calm, cool nights, the whistling of a spear can be heard. The spear of Razz as he practices and trains. Going through his motions, reliving every battle he has been in. The spear twirls and jabs qracefully as Razz‛s grey coat flows from every movement. The safety of his people is his only concern.


Been trying to work on my sequel, but life is crazy what can I say? Nevertheless, my characters still live on in my mind and my heart.

Been over half a year since I left you and have not wanted back. This has been a year of change for me. Left your entrapping psychosis and found real happiness. I changed schools and my major to something I'm better suited for. Then I quit my job and was unemployed for four months. Nearly went bankrupt until I got my new job where I'm happy and comfortable with what I do and the people I work with. Got into a car accident that totaled my car and forced me to get a new one. The down side is I liked that car a lot, the up side is I no longer have to face the memories we made in that car every day. Society had nearly broken me, but I'm making a strong come back and even feel a wind of success around me. For my beloved, my "Bottle of Fire", I couldn't have even began this transformation. You've helped me with all of this. Gave me the courage to fight onward. You helped me locate a better school, gave me the courage to quit that hell-hole of a job, and kept me together when I was unemployed and breaking down. My life has turned around, I'm actually valued at my job which has never happened, and it's thanks to you. My rage and bitterness has passed on as has my stress. For once I feel great about my life.

I have been with my new mate for approximately four months now. Things have been going quite well. She knows of my animalistic side and unlike my previous mate, she encourages me to unleash it. During one throw of passion she called out Razz and asked to show himself. He was hesitant, the last person to know of him wanted him destroyed and nearly succeeded. But now Razz has grown very fond of our mate, whom I like to refer to as my 'bottle of fire' in small referance to her brilliant red hair. Razz has begun showing himself even without being called out. It fills me with strength and courage. These aspects of myself are parts that I've found and named. I'm thinking that in embracing them at certain times can be extremely useful. But Razz is one of several aspects and my connection to the others aren't as strong.

After searching for what seemed to be an eternity, I have found another that this wolf may call a mate. A sweet girl that bears a bit of fire in bed. I grew to trust her quickly and eventually revealed all my secrets to her. Now, even with my abnormalities, she makes me feel normal, something I have yearned for for as long as I can remember. I've been bathed in her kind nature. My fires have been put out and demons kicked aside. Because of her I realized my anger was not of my own design. My ex and her dark designs was the source of my anguish. I never felt romance before, but I now know what it is. These new experiences have empowered me. I would confront my ex for her wrong doings, if I felt there would be a point. Would she listen? Would she care? Not likely. May she burn for her crimes.

Fight after fight. The same battle I've already grown tired of facing. Day after day I weaken and pray for a day of reprieval. Fuck it all! I'll make my own destiny. I won't wait for that perfect day to come to me, I'll drag it to me and make it my bitch! I won't play the good guy trying to please everyone but myself, nor will I play victim. My life partner must be someone I can always like and respect, not requireing special conditions as this did. My strength will guide me. My rage will push me forward. I will learn from my mistakes. The lesson I gained through this? I was a fool to think things could go back to how they were, especially when I was the one that changed and for that I do apologize.

I realized my faults and am working to fix them. Unexpectedly, my ex is speaking to me again. I opologized for the things I did to her. I confessed that I still loved her and slowly we started getting back together. She is giving me another chance. Amazing, as I would not have done the same for myself. She does truely love me, I see that now plain as day. I still need to work things out in my own mind, but I'm hopeful for the future now.

So I feel I have made peac with my ex. I truely hope that lasts. She was my first and I don't think I ever could truely hate her. As far as the other girl I was persueing, it appears it was obssession, not confidence that made me go to her. Coming to realizations that she probably would never love me or ever have in the past, despite what she has said, I must over come this and free myself. I was obssessed? The very notion sickens me, but that's what it is. Lately, my one gay friend has been talking to me a lot. Hitting on me for the most part. He knows I don't like him in that sense, just as a friend, but the things he says to me I find humorous. Possibly the one thing that's keeping my spirits and confidence higher than what it should be. Death seems to be the easiest path to take, to end all this suffering. But I've always been hard headed, the easy path has never been for me. No, if I die, it will be as a warrior. I will fight for what I want until the end...I just need to figure out what I want first.

Do you really think I'm that foolish? Stupid girl. I knew what you were attempting to do from the start. Also, next time. Don't include our friends in our fights. I can easily confer with them to see how much you have been lieing. In this case, big time. Why don't you follow his advice and just leave me alone. Also, next time you decide to make up a fake boyfriend in a foolish attempt to make me jealous, don't name him after a store, especially one I know you're afraid of.

So I have decided to wait for her. As my time away from my ex increases, her poison leaves my mind. I am no longer fearful of being alone. I shall wait for my high school crush until she is ready to date someone again. Of course, I am already putting up efforts to romance her. One such plan went without fail and she loved it. I am developing another plan already, but I should wait until the weather clears up before I initiate it. Everyone around me is surprised of how much of a romantic I am, but frankly, I've never been this motivated to be so. I have had feelings for this girl for a while and I won't let her slip away again, not if I can help it. My ex would be pissed if she knew the efforts I have been making. "How come you never did that with me?!?" I can already hear it. But for now, I drink until I'm drunk and passed out. I love wine so, but I am a private drinker. I'm too afraid to embarrase myself to drink with others. It's been about three weeks since I've last drank any alchohol. I knew I couldn't/shouldn't drink while I was going through the break up and recovery, that's how people get hooked, but I've been feeling really good lately so figured, "why not?" Good night everyone. May your booze of choice go down smooth. :)

Lonelyness is beginning to set. But this wolf will not faulter. I only bide my time. Having matured and now crave the hunt, this wolf waits for the oppertune moment to strike upon the flock. One has already had a taste of my magnificence, but she was not ready. Another had already struke at her heart and she has yet to recover. I could wait for when she is ready as I have liked this one for a very long time, or I can move on and persue past interests that I am now confident that I can make happen. This could prove difficult however, long lost connections must be reforged. I have reconnected with only a small fraction of my friends, but if persistent, I can find my way to the ones I have interest in. Madness got bitch slapped.

(Yes, I stole the title from a Soilwork song. What a bitchin song!) My eyes have opened and the illusions faded. Your lies are nothing to me, definitely not the fantasy land you made me to believe. You can fight me all you want, but my love for you has faded. No longer will I turn against my own blood. My blade is now turned to you, my former lover. I will no longer be manipulated, I will not be a puppet. I will not change who I am just because of threats of lonelyness. I am now myself and to hell with anyone who attempts to change me. Now you may try to hurt me, but in our time apart I have grown so much stronger that you are like a flea by comparison. There's nothing you can do or say that will affect me in the slightest. I have awoken and became a monster and I will not stop.

The one place I know the person this is ment for will never find. You slander my name, my girl, my pride, and honor. You persist to beat a dead horse and won't let it die. You should consider it a blessing if I willingly speak to you and I have every intention to sever you from my life as quickly as possible. The very fact I haven't by now is solely because of my financial situation. You're paranoid and over-react over the smallest thing. If the rage in me, that you stirred up, had a physical form, it would burn everything in a mile's radius. My body has literally heated up as if I had a fever because of you. Everyone agrees with me that you are crazy.

Once, there was a knight. His armor had been stained black and his face was dirty and rough. Thousands of rumors circled around this knight. Some say he was a murderer, others say he practiced the dark arts. Yet, deep inside of him was a soul that was far purer than most. In truth, the black knight gained his title from his peers and supiriors, for his armor was once shinier and very different from their own. They grew jealous of the attention he drew to himself and so they began flinging dirt and mud at him whenever they saw him. Seeing that his life was not in danger, the knight never defended himself as he refused to join in the petty squabbling. He believed in protecting the people not his title.
The knight did not have many friends and sometimes, he felt like giving up, but those closest to him kept him moving forward, kept him fighting for something. Eventually, the law caught up with the other knights and all their cut-throat tactics came back to haunt them. The king had them all thrown in jail, leaving the black knight. He was given new responcibilities and more money then he knew what to do with. And for his good deeds, the king gave him a new set of shiny armor.

So I've been with my girlfriend for over nine months. I know in my heart that she is the one. Being with her has given me new strength, determination, and pride. Yet, I have begun to notice other women checking me out and even flirting with me. I suppose I never paid enough attention before to really notice. Now I am really able to see how pathetic some people are. Some of these people know I'm in a serious relationship and still try to tempt me, probably thinking they can steal me away just because they have a pretty face. All I can think about is my girl, the person that saved my life. To think about leaving her for someone else makes me ill and sad. For people to think I could leave her, are truely removed from anything considered good. Honor, pride, and virtue are what moves me. I'm not a toy to be passed around, nor am I a heartbreaker. For people to think either of these things, even about someone they don't know, truely shows how the world has deteriorated. I await the day when the tempting becomes real advances, so I can give the person a piece of my mind.

So for a little over two months now, I have been in a relationship with this girl I have been working with for about a year now. She never spoke to me much before, but she found me on Facebook, we became friends, and eventually she admitted that she was completely in love with me. I was so surprised, but at the same time my heart just melted.
Now I know her very well. She has had a rough life like me and I can't help but care and feel protective of her. I was never the strongest person, but she gives me strength.
She knows about me being a furry and doesn't have a problem with it. I trust her completely and she says I'm the only person she's comfortable enough with that she could probably fall asleep in my arms. She makes me feel good about myself, which doesn't come often. I'm confident that she is the one. The one person I want to spend my whole life with. My future wife. <3