My last grandmother might be dying right now. :/ It's kind of a mercy since she's got such bad dimentia, but they won't take her to a doctor and she's in pain. I hope it doesn't take long if she's suffering.

I’m just gonna focus on grad school for now. I might take some commissions if anyone is interested and I feel like they’re not too overwhelming, but you’ll have to bear with me if I’m not very enthusiastic about...anything, really. This is just one more kick in the head and I’m struggling just to make it to the next day.

I don’t know how realistic it is for me to do the 18+ Spyro zine at this point. I’m happy to contribute if someone else wants to run one, or maybe I might be able to narrow it down to just being an Elora dedicated thing, but I don’t know and I don’t really care right now. I gave the finger to all my detractors in this fandom pretty hard quite a few times now. It’s getting old. Don’t know what I want to do art wise these days but I’m tired of going around in circles with the same old crap I’ve been doing since 2007.

2019 is just not my year. If I can survive, that’s about all I’m hoping for right now.

(For the love of god do not RP in the comments here. It’s incredibly insensitive and inappropriate.)

Edit: Okay it’s not as bad as I initially thought. Still needs fixing with that lag, but some of my problems are 20 years of muscle memory from playing the old games and recent major eye surgery. XD If you can choose a version, it sounds like PC is the way to go. But if you can’t, Switch is tolerable for now and hopefully it will at least get a patch for the lag.

Spyro on Switch is...not good. :/ Even in travel mode the frame rate drops are so bad that they’ll ruin the experience. If you hated the flight levels before, you’re really gonna hate them now; Spyro flies with all the grace and manoeuvrability of a brick. And in my case, playing on the small screen is making me physically sick. Both camera modes are a joke. If they don’t fix the docked mode and these huge bugs that make the game almost unplayable by the end of this week, I’m cutting my losses and returning it. :/ Hopefully my PC can handle the game. Don’t get the Switch port until they fix it.

Extra bonus: they didn’t even deliver the preorder poster to my Gamestop. I’m kinda mad right now. This hasn’t been worth the wait or the money. I had more fun doing grad school homework earlier today, not kidding.

Edit: Stop telling me about how fine your copy of the game is guys. That’s not the pound of this post and it’s really insensitive. It’s nice that you have a working copy. I don’t appreciate having that rubbed in my face and being dismissed at the same time. Just because you’re not experiencing the problem doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

Edit: With my last grandmother on her deathbed as of this writing, my living situation being up in the air while legal proceedings are underway, grad school, the death of my other grandma in May still weighing on me, and many other things, I’m not able to run this project. Thank you to everyone who wanted to participate.

Before I collapse from the start of grad school, just wanted to get this thing going!

In keeping with the flight levels theme from last year, this is, of course, going to be titled Night Flight. :D

The adults only, 18+ themed Spyro zine/fan project has enough interest so let's do this thing! Writers and artists of all sorts are welcome to join but you MUST be 18 or older to take part! You don't have to be the best or most skilled creator, but please put your best effort into anything you submit!

Proceeds are going to go to The Seeing Eye guide dog school and I'm still going to aim for that $5k so we can name a puppy. :)

I'm going to say everyone has until December 15, 2019, to get stories, art, ASMR recordings, and anything else you can think of to me. I'd like to launch the zine for sale in January, 2020, and see how much we can raise until early May, 2020.

Rules so far:
- you MUST be 18 or older to contribute
- all entries have to be saucy; someone's gotta be naked at least!
- no really extreme fetishes (body waste, inflation, hyper genitals or muscles, diapers)
- general stuff like BDSM, pregnancy, nudity, tentacles, egg laying (because dragons), etc, is fine
- the above two rules may be subject to change; I can always just put the extreme stuff in a separate folder, so feel free to make suggestions on this; it IS a porn fan project, after all XD
- submission deadline is December 15, 2019
- you can submit as much as you want!
- please don't post anything but previews of your work until after the zine is done being sold!

I think that covers everything? I'm really tired right now. XD If anything isn't clear or anybody has questions, please ask! I'll put the list of contributors here for now just to get things rolling.

Contributors so far:
1.  razzek (me) - Spyro art and writing, old and new works
2.  naughtyneonbitz
3.  tamplior
4.  ogaraorcynder
5.  spyrofan666
6.  Blaze_Ignitus
7.  MuskyDusky
8.  Wynnchi
9.  Ryhaal

Maybe it’s the cold medicine talking, but I still want to do an adults only/18+ Spyro fan zine. It would be really fun and, at least for me personally, hilarious. :D I don’t know yet what charity proceeds would go to, probably The Seeing Eye again because who doesn’t love doggos that help blind people, or it might be a for profit thing where funds are split between all contributors. I know I’ll include all my old Spyro adult art and writing as well as at least a couple new works. I’d want to have a mix of pairings/moresomes, gender mixes (het, queer), and solo stuff and everything from tasteful pinups to the craziest stuff you can come up with (with some limits; please no poop ;_; ). XD What do you guys think? Is there any interest in this? Would any of you want to participate? Writers and artists are all welcome to join in. :)

Hey a friend of mine has a pretty cute female YCH pose up for sale! Get in on this! :)

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/32749532/

So I got a laser shined in my eye today. Didn't expect that! Things seem to be okay for now but that procedure does carry a risk of retinal detachment so I'm going to be taking it easy for at least a day or two. If nothing else, my eye swelled up like crazy right after the procedure and it kinda hurts. Gonna be watching for signs of retinal damage for a few weeks. I'll keep you guys posted.Naturally, this means I'm not going to be doing any art for a couple of days, so thank you in advance to the commissioners for waiting a little longer. :)

You are not forgotten! I’m kinda slow right now because it’s crazy hot, there’s no air conditioning in my house, I have to curl in on myself like a pill bug and hug a warm tablet to my face to draw, and I don’t like the public watching me draw anywhere that does have air conditioning. XD I’m still working, just slowly. XD

So the drama duo that got me kicked from a charity project in 2017 are the gift that keeps on giving. Not only are they both notorious for attacking anyone at random in the Spyro, Pokemon, MLP, Undertale and Care Bears communities, it turns out the one who started it all because i asked her to stop harassing someone is an abusive, racist, religion bashing (if it’s not her religion), art stealing fraud who was a real pedophile the whole time! Wow!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....ms/mobilebasic

Are you surprised? I’m not.

I don’t really like bringing up old drama but this just needs to be passed around. Don’t interact with her or anyone in her current friends circle. If you’re an artist, avoid at all costs! She has robbed other artists and I’m not the only victim of one of her random hate campaigns.

I feel like a lot of people owe me a lot of apologies I’m never going to get. Oh well. They’re the ones who took this person at her word instead of talking to the countless people she’s gone out of her way to hurt.

I still don’t know how to really talk about this but I’m exhausted by people saying they’re glad I’m better when I’m so far from that right now. I understand the sentiment and definitely appreciate what y’all are trying to do, but you don’t have the context. So I’ll just say it.

I almost killed myself about two weeks ago. I’ve been in the hospital twice in the past month. That’s where I’ve been. I don’t really feel right anymore and I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going despite having actual life goals. I’m getting help but it’s a slow process and right now I’m just kind of scared of myself. I’ve been suicidal off and on since 2011 but there’s a big difference between wanting to die/be dead and actively going to die.

So, yeah. There it is. I’ve got no comforting words or platitudes right now. I’m still very much at risk and I’m not okay. It just is what it is. I’m trying to keep better things in my mind and trying to remember how to live, but nine years of wanting and two years of almost constant hell doesn’t just stop because you want it to.

Thanks for talking to me though, and listening. I don’t know what else to say.

I’ve got two commissions I’m currently working on but I can basically always take time out to draw my favourite faun, Elora. So I thought I’d just make art of her in any of her forms (classic, Reignited, any versions of her I’ve designed) discounted for now. :)

bust/head - $15 (was $25)
torso/waist up - $25 (was $35)
full body - $35 (was $50)

If you want art of her with another character, that character will be priced normally but I’ll use these prices for her. Extra stuff like backgrounds or colours are the same as listed in my main price guide.

I have managed to not die yet again but it was a very near miss and I’m not out of danger yet. Only just got out of the hospital today. Work will resume as soon as I can manage it but for now my sole purpose is to keep living, which is harder than you’d think at the moment. Thanks for your patience!

Edit: I’ve been really torn about just saying what’s happened/is still happening. It’s hard to talk about. All I can really say right now is that I haven’t been in and out of the regular hospital (well, okay, technically I’ve been in a specific unit before being transferred... XD). Thank you for all the well wishes though, everyone. :)

Apologies for the delay commissioners and friends, but I am going back to the hospital so things are going to be delayed and I will not be able to get in contact (no phones or internet access). I hope everyone who has paid for art can see this. I will get to work as soon as I'm able but right now I'm not able. Hopefully I'll be back within a week.

For reasons I am not going to discuss publicly as I’m still sifting through the wreckage myself, I am in actual need of wrist/forearm tattoos. Yeah it’s a bit strange, but I’m coming to find that I’m not the only one who needs them for similar reasons.

Anyway, I can just barely afford the first and I’d like to get the second as soon as possible for my own sake. I have literally nothing to do until late August, too, so it’d be nice to have something to occupy my time.

Tl;dr: I need some commissions for personal reasons and to have things to do. Hit me up if you’re interested! Prices and examples linked below.

Thanks for reading everyone!

PS: I do have a Ko-fi if anyone can’t do or doesn’t want art right now but still wants to support this endeavour. :)

So I like this cute Kickstarter:
https://www.kickstarter.com/project.....ins/pride-pins

But! I don’t know if there’s another ace rat in the fandom or if it’s a coincidence or what... I backed this because they had an asexual rat pin and heck yes. Then they posted an aro ratty with the green colors, which heck yes. And now they’ve posted a little thing and named the rat Raz?! 8O

Is this someone I haven’t met? If not, it’s one crazy coincidence that there’s a green-themed asexual rat with a name one letter off from mine. XD I’m just not sure what’s going on here and I don’t know if there’s another ace rat out there with a name like mine or if this is a tribute. Whatever the case, it’s been making me happy. :3

And if there’s another rat Raz(z) out there, I’d be thrilled to get in touch. :)

Edit: Whoops, I meant agender rat! I’m tired. But that just makes it even more interesting because how many agender Raz(z) rats are there?! XD Possibly two? XD

I got doggo snoot stickers! There's a shiny one on my phone case already. :) Where to put the rest?! Get some for yourself here. :)

http://tuxedodemon.storenvy.com

And you can read the awesome comic, DNA, over here!

http://dnathewebcomic.com/

I’m watching HBO’s Chernobyl miniseries and boy howdy am I impressed, distressed, and upset! It’s really good but, like, I was four when this happened. It’s very unsettling to see such an accurate depiction of this haunting, awful event. Definitely give it a watch! It’s worth your time, as is the podcast.

When you’re done, look up The Elephant’s Foot so you too can see the most unnerving thing ever produced by mankind! o_o

Y’all Alien the Play is worth your time to watch! They did an amazing job!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DX3VaFG7AvU

After almost an entire year, I'm open for art commissions again!

I decided not to bother with changing the prices for inks/line work because I love it and I've got the hang of it again, but I did up the prices for coloring because it just takes so very long.

Check it out if you're interested! :)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....xgJjIePkM/edit

Busts
Characters drawn from the shoulders, or neck up.
single character: $25
extra character (limit 3): +$20 each
excessive details (scales, all black coloring, complex fur/tattoos): +$25
flat color: +$50
full color: +$75

Torso
Characters drawn from the waist or chest up.
single character: $35
extra character (limit 2): +$25 each
excessive details (scales, all black coloring, complex fur/tattoos): +$35
flat color: +$75
full color: +$100

Full Body
Characters drawn from the knees up or full body.
single character: $50
extra character (limit 2): +$50 each
excessive details (scales, all black coloring, complex fur/tattoos): +$50
detailed background: +$100
flat colors: +$100
full colors: +$150

Will not draw:
* pedophilia (any character that looks like a human child/preteen)
* bodily waste, scat, vomit (pee is fine)
* exposed intestines
* discrimination or “hate” art directed at any group or individual

You must verify that you are 18+ to commission any sort of adult art (anything containing nudity or extreme violence).

Got an upcoming book that I think a lot of you will like. Check out the synopsis, get a preview, and grab a copy here; https://www.deviantart.com/rurik-re.....rder-797462243

In news, I'm starting to get back into drawing which means commissions will probably be back soon. Because I put more time into them now, have less free time, and I'm still learning how to see again I'm probably going to up the prices by a little bit from here on out and only take one at a time. Also I'm not going to do colored ones anymore; it's not enough fun for me and takes way too much time. I might take one or two on now just to distract myself because life is rough at the moment, so if anyone wants something feel free to comment below but please keep things simple for now (no backgrounds or overdetailed characters: I can't really see details right now). Hope y'all are well. :)

They’re really cute and worth the price! :)

https://www.deviantart.com/tuxedode.....-set-797732116

In case anyone gets bothered by more silence from me, my Grandma died last night. She raised me as much as my mother and you have her to thank for all of my creativity because it was in the sanctuaries of her home that I found the peace to make things. She had a good last day and passed in her chair at home like she always said she would. But I love her and I miss her so much. So yeah. If I don't respond to things for awhile, that's why. The last matriarch of my family is gone and we're all reeling from the shock.

Thank you everyone for the birthday and surgery well wishes! I've been asleep a lot so I haven't had much energy to reply, but I've read every comment! You guys are great. :heart:

So far, it's looking like I won't be doing any major art for a bit still. I need prescription glasses to actually use the vision I have and my eye still needs about a month more to heal. But recovery has been going well and I'm using cheap readers I bought at Walmart to kinda look at things that aren't on my phone. XD

Had the eye surgery yesterday and it was one of the most bizarre things I've ever experianced. Most of you will probably have to go through it someday and I can tell you it's not painful and what you see while the doctor is removing and replacing your lens is honestly amazing but hard to describe.

As for me, the doctor says everything looks good today. :) I'll be back to see him next week. Until then, I have to wear my sunglasses or the eye shield they gave me at all times. My eye is still dilated from the surgery right now so I can't see anything up close but I kinda feel like I can see through time as it is. XD Everything is so bright! I'll keep you guys posted. Thank you for all the love over the past few months and years while I waited to have this done. ♥️

Dog snoot pins on Kickstarter! 8D
https://www.kickstarter.com/project.....project_build#

If you like doggos and that cold nose that wakes you up when you're trying to nap and wanna support a great artist and show your dog love, check this out! I've worked with this artist before and I don't know of many who are more reliable than they are. Not only will you get a really cute pin, you'll be supporting the continuation of a really fantastic comic, DNA:
http://dnathewebcomic.com/

Apologies that I haven't really been replying to your comments on my last post! I've read every single one and thank you all so much for the kind words! To say I've been a bit stressed and distracted of late is an understatement (I'm also in grad school now, so that's a thing o_o) but thank you all so much for your continued support!

A bit more research and it sounds like the procedure is pretty quick, my mother is going to be in the room, and I'm not going to remember a thing. XD My odds are pretty good that I won't go blind, but there's a chance there will be no vision improvement at all. I'm kind of trying not to hope right now because I don't want to get smacked down after two years of this hell. We'll see how it goes.

Thanks again guys!

If you want to do your own research, I'm having cataract surgery, which is simple, but with the added fun of having retinopathy of prematurity (ROP). It's that second thing that makes this more dangerous than it is for basically anyone else. Most of you are probably going to have cataract surgery someday if you haven't already. XD