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Free YCH Raffle, if anyone's interested.
Posted 9 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/19494361/ Go on, test your luck.
About time for some damn updates.
Posted 9 years agoWell, it's been a while. A good damn while at that.
First thing's first, I know a very small handful of you will actually see this, but oh well. Herein lie some changes that are going on here on this page, with myself, followed by some damned updates. I'll try to keep it short, sweet, and to the fuckin' point.
First off, the changes.
Ridley Crest, as you know him, is no longer who I see myself as. He will be put on the back burner for a while, and will remain there until requested. I have personal reasons for changing this, but for those who are curious, the most I'm willing to give up is that it's because I no longer self-identify that way anymore.
In return, expect Hunter Ellstrom. An augmented dragon/shark hybrid with some hidden perks. I'll elaborate more on this if requested via notes, if requested, but that's that.
Now, updates.
Some shit's been going on in my life that has been rough.
To those of you that don't know, my mate's been dead for about a month now, and I've been dealing with that, but it will not hold back what's going on.
In less than two weeks, I'll finally be moving out of this cesspit that people obsess over. Fuck you, Las Vegas, I'm finally getting the fuck away from you.
As well as the move, I've found myself a job, as well. Well, two jobs. Art will be coming soon enough, but main funds are going towards the leap out of here, but the main focus here is that I'm a part of a game dev team now, and I wanna say, shit feels nice to be a writing team. It makes me happy that I can finally start using some of that stored away talent on something that can make money.
Anyways, this was short and most fuel-raged, but.. that has cooled down to a simmer, but if you have questions, shoot me a note.
First thing's first, I know a very small handful of you will actually see this, but oh well. Herein lie some changes that are going on here on this page, with myself, followed by some damned updates. I'll try to keep it short, sweet, and to the fuckin' point.
First off, the changes.
Ridley Crest, as you know him, is no longer who I see myself as. He will be put on the back burner for a while, and will remain there until requested. I have personal reasons for changing this, but for those who are curious, the most I'm willing to give up is that it's because I no longer self-identify that way anymore.
In return, expect Hunter Ellstrom. An augmented dragon/shark hybrid with some hidden perks. I'll elaborate more on this if requested via notes, if requested, but that's that.
Now, updates.
Some shit's been going on in my life that has been rough.
To those of you that don't know, my mate's been dead for about a month now, and I've been dealing with that, but it will not hold back what's going on.
In less than two weeks, I'll finally be moving out of this cesspit that people obsess over. Fuck you, Las Vegas, I'm finally getting the fuck away from you.
As well as the move, I've found myself a job, as well. Well, two jobs. Art will be coming soon enough, but main funds are going towards the leap out of here, but the main focus here is that I'm a part of a game dev team now, and I wanna say, shit feels nice to be a writing team. It makes me happy that I can finally start using some of that stored away talent on something that can make money.
Anyways, this was short and most fuel-raged, but.. that has cooled down to a simmer, but if you have questions, shoot me a note.
Signal boost
Posted 10 years ago:icon Violent-Pentakill: is holding a raffle on reaching 250, then 300 watchers. If you're not already watching, you should consider it. The art's pretty awesome.
What's that? A raffle, you say? [Edit, my bad.]
Posted 10 years agoHello again, everyone. 
SilentSelene is holding a raffle, and you should go check him out. He's pretty awesome, plus (in my opinion), he's pretty sweet. Deserves more watchers.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7101443/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7101443/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7101443/
SilentSelene is holding a raffle, and you should go check him out. He's pretty awesome, plus (in my opinion), he's pretty sweet. Deserves more watchers. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7101443/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7101443/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7101443/
Plans for the Future.
Posted 10 years agoSo, I've been thinking, and it's time to start moving on and moving upwards.
-Currently, I'm working towards saving up to get a car so I can finally get out of here, or at least expand my horizons, because taking the bus really doesn't help with that.
-I'm also currently working on writing a few short stories, perhaps that can generate some interest in this page, because if I'm honest, there's days where I consider just deleting this account and being done with it.
-I've also been pondering a few ways to generate a few extra bucks to start buying things. Hopefully, I'll be able to upload some new content here soon.
I know I'm young, sure, I'm only 20 and I don't know what all I want, but I'll get there someday. But hey, nothing wrong with that. I suppose I'll update this journal as time goes on, but I suppose I'll see.
Yeah, know this journal is probably shorter than all the others, but I'm tried of being quiet.
I'm also going to take a minute to vent and whatnot.
This whole situation has been a pain in the ass. From getting a damn job to having to deal with family, I'm stretched thin. But for the friends that I do keep in contact with, I'm not leaving any time soon. And for those that I don't talk to that often, I'm going to try talk more often, and I apologize for feeling like a bother.
I'm also glad I finally got into therapy, and damn it's been helping. Thank god I went, but I'm not a big fan of the antidepressants. Eh, progress is progress, I suppose. Anyways,
-Currently, I'm working towards saving up to get a car so I can finally get out of here, or at least expand my horizons, because taking the bus really doesn't help with that.
-I'm also currently working on writing a few short stories, perhaps that can generate some interest in this page, because if I'm honest, there's days where I consider just deleting this account and being done with it.
-I've also been pondering a few ways to generate a few extra bucks to start buying things. Hopefully, I'll be able to upload some new content here soon.
I know I'm young, sure, I'm only 20 and I don't know what all I want, but I'll get there someday. But hey, nothing wrong with that. I suppose I'll update this journal as time goes on, but I suppose I'll see.
Yeah, know this journal is probably shorter than all the others, but I'm tried of being quiet.
I'm also going to take a minute to vent and whatnot.
This whole situation has been a pain in the ass. From getting a damn job to having to deal with family, I'm stretched thin. But for the friends that I do keep in contact with, I'm not leaving any time soon. And for those that I don't talk to that often, I'm going to try talk more often, and I apologize for feeling like a bother.
I'm also glad I finally got into therapy, and damn it's been helping. Thank god I went, but I'm not a big fan of the antidepressants. Eh, progress is progress, I suppose. Anyways,
So uh... Yeah.
Posted 10 years agoWelp, it's my birthday. Happy birthday to me,
I haven't been too excited for today, but it's here. Yay, I suppose.
*nibbles on a cupcake quietly*
I haven't been too excited for today, but it's here. Yay, I suppose.
*nibbles on a cupcake quietly*
Raffle round 2!
Posted 10 years agoSo, 
JWiesner is holding another raffle, there's 4 winner slots this time around. If you do decided to go and look at it, then I wish you the best of luck.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6952837/
JWiesner is holding another raffle, there's 4 winner slots this time around. If you do decided to go and look at it, then I wish you the best of luck. https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6952837/
Free art raffle, anyone?
Posted 10 years ago JWiesner is holding a free raffle that ends on the 8th. Go on over there, show some love and support for an awesome artist.https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6937506/
Anyone up to play Zombies?
Posted 10 years agoToday's a bit of an off day for me, I was wondering if anybody would be up to kill some zombies with me. Now, this isn't trying to come off as "lol come play cod" or "durr hburr im a cod guy", I'm just trying to play some games with some friends. If anyone is interested, let alone anyone who bothers to read this, I'm on Xbox Live. Note me for my gamertag if you'd like to come hang out.
Give this artist some love.
Posted 10 years agoSo, 
nightingayle is a pretty good artist, and she's currently, from what I've been told, is doing freebies for those that watch her and spread the word. Stop by her page and give her some love.
nightingayle is a pretty good artist, and she's currently, from what I've been told, is doing freebies for those that watch her and spread the word. Stop by her page and give her some love. I just want to post this. [EDIT]
Posted 10 years agoSo, let's talk about depression for a minute.
Yes, I'm only 19, going on 20 this year, and I realize that people with a normal, healthily functioning brain have told me time and time and again that my issues are petty. Doesn't mean they don't hurt.
For the people that are about to say that the issues are petty, don't.
For the people that are about to ask, "Haven't I helped at all?" Yes. You have, trust me. But there are things that come up and break me.
For the people that are going to just hate or just judge, take it elsewhere. I don't have the capacity to handle it right now.
Anyways, for the few of you that I've spoken to about it, you no doubt know that I've been depressed, for various reasons. For those of you that don't know, allow me to fill you in. For a good while now, I've felt as if my family has been wanting to get rid of me entirely, figuratively trying to suffocate me. Coupled with that, I've felt a crippling loneliness, and with years of pent up, hidden away emotions, my mindset tells me and makes me feel as if I barely have any friends left at all. I can't properly describe the way it feels, but I can put it this way: Imagine waking up every day and feeling that isolation, your friends, your family, they don't want you. You walk past them and they just glare, wondering why you exist. It doesn't feel nice, it never has, and it never will.
I've tried to tell people that I want to off myself in the past. The few friends that I do have left, and my mate, of course, have helped me through those times. But it keeps coming back, that desire. The demons in my head feed on the pain, and they bring back the suicidal thoughts. It isn't fun, to say the least.
Before you ask, "Ridley, what's so hard with approaching and talking to people?" It's.. not that easy for me. I have social anxiety, and I fear making mistakes when talking to folks. It's a small point, but it's important in this case because of the situation.
Anyways... I just wanted to get it off my chest, let people know. Thanks for bothering to read this.
Anyone want to talk about anger? Things that really push you over the fucking edge?
Yeah, I know, this is a complete polar opposite of what I said yesterday, but fuck it. It's another fucking issue I deal with daily.
Every. Single. Day. I have to deal with my crippling depression and the sorrow that it brings, and the absolute blinding rage that just builds, and builds, and builds. Though, this melts in with what I brought up yesterday, to an extent. About being kicked aside, thrown away like a broken toy. I have been an angry motherfucker for years, but I don't let anyone see it because I care about them, but there are times, like right now, for instance, where I'm about to explode. When it comes out, it's an eruption. (Yes, I know that was innuendo. No, I don't care.)
to put it to you like this, I'm sick of being cast away, if you want me as your friend, fucking act like it. Don't just start talking and bail, don't hate on me for being me, just be my fucking friend. I can't stand the thought of people being fake as fuck, and thinking it's funny. There's nothing funny in acting like a fuckstick. Sure, I sound immature, but it's like the forewarning on my front page, don't step on me. I'm not your doormat.
Boy oh boy do I look forward to the breakdown I'm going to have after this. Thanks again for listening to my stupid bullshit.
Yes, I'm only 19, going on 20 this year, and I realize that people with a normal, healthily functioning brain have told me time and time and again that my issues are petty. Doesn't mean they don't hurt.
For the people that are about to say that the issues are petty, don't.
For the people that are about to ask, "Haven't I helped at all?" Yes. You have, trust me. But there are things that come up and break me.
For the people that are going to just hate or just judge, take it elsewhere. I don't have the capacity to handle it right now.
Anyways, for the few of you that I've spoken to about it, you no doubt know that I've been depressed, for various reasons. For those of you that don't know, allow me to fill you in. For a good while now, I've felt as if my family has been wanting to get rid of me entirely, figuratively trying to suffocate me. Coupled with that, I've felt a crippling loneliness, and with years of pent up, hidden away emotions, my mindset tells me and makes me feel as if I barely have any friends left at all. I can't properly describe the way it feels, but I can put it this way: Imagine waking up every day and feeling that isolation, your friends, your family, they don't want you. You walk past them and they just glare, wondering why you exist. It doesn't feel nice, it never has, and it never will.
I've tried to tell people that I want to off myself in the past. The few friends that I do have left, and my mate, of course, have helped me through those times. But it keeps coming back, that desire. The demons in my head feed on the pain, and they bring back the suicidal thoughts. It isn't fun, to say the least.
Before you ask, "Ridley, what's so hard with approaching and talking to people?" It's.. not that easy for me. I have social anxiety, and I fear making mistakes when talking to folks. It's a small point, but it's important in this case because of the situation.
Anyways... I just wanted to get it off my chest, let people know. Thanks for bothering to read this.
Anyone want to talk about anger? Things that really push you over the fucking edge?
Yeah, I know, this is a complete polar opposite of what I said yesterday, but fuck it. It's another fucking issue I deal with daily.
Every. Single. Day. I have to deal with my crippling depression and the sorrow that it brings, and the absolute blinding rage that just builds, and builds, and builds. Though, this melts in with what I brought up yesterday, to an extent. About being kicked aside, thrown away like a broken toy. I have been an angry motherfucker for years, but I don't let anyone see it because I care about them, but there are times, like right now, for instance, where I'm about to explode. When it comes out, it's an eruption. (Yes, I know that was innuendo. No, I don't care.)
to put it to you like this, I'm sick of being cast away, if you want me as your friend, fucking act like it. Don't just start talking and bail, don't hate on me for being me, just be my fucking friend. I can't stand the thought of people being fake as fuck, and thinking it's funny. There's nothing funny in acting like a fuckstick. Sure, I sound immature, but it's like the forewarning on my front page, don't step on me. I'm not your doormat.
Boy oh boy do I look forward to the breakdown I'm going to have after this. Thanks again for listening to my stupid bullshit.
You guys should go check her out!
Posted 10 years agoSo, 
Vexstacy is a pretty damn good artist. I admit, I haven't been watching her for a long time, but she deserves more attention!
She's also doing a YCH for free right now, so go try your luck! :3
Vexstacy is a pretty damn good artist. I admit, I haven't been watching her for a long time, but she deserves more attention! She's also doing a YCH for free right now, so go try your luck! :3
So.
Posted 10 years agoI don't know what it is, I don't know if it's because I live in a shitty white neighborhood, or if it's because everyone acts fucking entitled, but why does every person I try to fucking help scream at me for trying to lend a hand? I mean for fuck's sake, a family moved in next door in my grandpa's old house and I left a really kind note on their door, leaving my name and number if they needed any help. 5 minutes after they got home (I can hear when their door closes because they always slam it and my window faces their front door) the "entitled" mother called it and screamed at me for no damn reason, which is why I'm posting this shit. I know nobody really gives a shit, but I need to vent.
It's just infuriating to get chewed out and screamed at for trying to help new neighbors. I'm just sick of it, because as silly as it is, it blows. It hurts. Whatever, I guess.
If you -really- want to talk, just.. send me a note or a message on Skype. Otherwise, I'm going to try to enjoy the silence.
It's just infuriating to get chewed out and screamed at for trying to help new neighbors. I'm just sick of it, because as silly as it is, it blows. It hurts. Whatever, I guess.
If you -really- want to talk, just.. send me a note or a message on Skype. Otherwise, I'm going to try to enjoy the silence.
Does anybody know...
Posted 10 years ago...the number for the suicide prevention hotline? I think it's about time I give it a call..
For any of you that bother to even read this, the past few months have been hell inside my mind and in my personal life. The majority of the friends that I've made, they've just up and moved on, which hurts because, y'know, losing friends always sucks. I've been turned down for every job I've applied for, which certainly doesn't help my decaying state of mind. From the few friends that I do have left, quite a few of them have even just up and abandoned, replaced me for.. reasons I don't know, and probably never will. I'm constantly being called the bad guy, I'm the fall guy, it's always my fault, etc, etc, etc.. I've cried myself to sleep for the past two weeks, and I can't take it anymore. I've had people question me as to why I'm still sad, what's wrong with me, and I simply tell them: I don't know. The best possible guess I could give is that I've got years and years of emotions bottled up deep within my fragile heart and mind..
If you did bother to read through this, you have my many thanks..
And if you don't have anything kind to say or you're going to call me out for seeking attention, don't even bother saying anything..
For any of you that bother to even read this, the past few months have been hell inside my mind and in my personal life. The majority of the friends that I've made, they've just up and moved on, which hurts because, y'know, losing friends always sucks. I've been turned down for every job I've applied for, which certainly doesn't help my decaying state of mind. From the few friends that I do have left, quite a few of them have even just up and abandoned, replaced me for.. reasons I don't know, and probably never will. I'm constantly being called the bad guy, I'm the fall guy, it's always my fault, etc, etc, etc.. I've cried myself to sleep for the past two weeks, and I can't take it anymore. I've had people question me as to why I'm still sad, what's wrong with me, and I simply tell them: I don't know. The best possible guess I could give is that I've got years and years of emotions bottled up deep within my fragile heart and mind..
If you did bother to read through this, you have my many thanks..
And if you don't have anything kind to say or you're going to call me out for seeking attention, don't even bother saying anything..
Raffle!
Posted 10 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6734222/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6734222/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6734222/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6734222/
Go check it out, guys! Maybe you'll get lucky!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6734222/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6734222/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6734222/
Go check it out, guys! Maybe you'll get lucky!
Need some help.
Posted 10 years agoHey guys. Thanks to recent events, I need some help coming up with ways to calm down. Things have happened that have my furious when I think about them, and I just want to let this shit go. So, that being said, does anybody know of any good ways to calm down, or at least relieve stress/anger?
Careful guys, some bullshit is going on.
Posted 10 years agoJust a heads up and a warning to all of you! This 'community' is stealing art from FA and posting and claiming everything as theirs. https://plus.google.com/communities.....56560693333154
If ANY of my characters are found in that mess, contact me right away. I haven't found anyone that I know in it, but
Lipton , 
bunniehkins , 
spacepoptart , and 
Liam-Kun have all had some of their works stolen.
If ANY of my characters are found in that mess, contact me right away. I haven't found anyone that I know in it, but
Lipton , 
bunniehkins , 
spacepoptart , and 
Liam-Kun have all had some of their works stolen.Absence + Issues.
Posted 10 years agoIf anyone's been curious as to where I've been, I've been stuck on my phone, and it's hard as all hell to maintain updates on my phone.
And surprising no one, I've been dealing with stupid emotional issues, and could use a little support. If anyone wants to talk, I'm on Skype, where it's easiest to keep in contact, but I can try to talk here.
And surprising no one, I've been dealing with stupid emotional issues, and could use a little support. If anyone wants to talk, I'm on Skype, where it's easiest to keep in contact, but I can try to talk here.
Hey guys. Just wanted to let you know.
Posted 10 years agoHello all. Since my laptop is out of the picture, it's gotten a lot harder for me to get on here and communicate with you, which makes me sad because I miss my friends. So, I had an idea. If anyone wants to talk, if you've got Kik, look for me! I'd love to hear from you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Let's sing a song.
Posted 10 years agoHeya guys. I know I like to say that I see myself as a guardian (As some of you know, the others that don't, well.. hopefully this helps you understand). I was just kinda stumbling around on YouTube and found this pretty awesome, and wanted to share it with you.
(For All Those Sleeping - "Follow My Voice": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAPbYqCiU3Q)
Hope can seem so hard to find
When all around is falling
And there's never enough light
To see your way out
But in the darkest times
You find out what you're made of
And I swear there's more to you than you know
I don't want to be the voice of a generation
I just want to be a voice for you
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Follow my voice
Let me carry you away
I can see you're broken
But we're all the same
(We're all the same)
Follow my voice
And let me carry you away
I can see you're lost and alone
So let this song guide you
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Scars can be so hard to hide
When all around is flawless
But where we've been makes us who we are
But in the darkest times
You find out what you're made of
And I swear there's more to you than you know
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Follow my voice
Let me carry you away
I can see you're broken
But we're all the same
(We're all the same)
Follow my voice
And let me carry you away
I can see you're lost and alone
So let this song guide you
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
I'll let you know
I was like you too
Now every night
I take the stage
I do it for you
So you can let out all the hate
And all the rage inside
Life may never seem right
But well always have tonight
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Follow my voice
Let me carry you away
I can see you're broken
But we're all the same
(We're all the same)
Follow my voice
And let me carry you away
I can see you're lost and alone
So let this song guide you
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Corny, I know. But I just want those of you that do take the time to read this, I care about you. You will always have a friend in me. You are not alone. I care for each and every single one of my friends, and that is something will always hold true.
(For All Those Sleeping - "Follow My Voice": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAPbYqCiU3Q)
Hope can seem so hard to find
When all around is falling
And there's never enough light
To see your way out
But in the darkest times
You find out what you're made of
And I swear there's more to you than you know
I don't want to be the voice of a generation
I just want to be a voice for you
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Follow my voice
Let me carry you away
I can see you're broken
But we're all the same
(We're all the same)
Follow my voice
And let me carry you away
I can see you're lost and alone
So let this song guide you
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Scars can be so hard to hide
When all around is flawless
But where we've been makes us who we are
But in the darkest times
You find out what you're made of
And I swear there's more to you than you know
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Follow my voice
Let me carry you away
I can see you're broken
But we're all the same
(We're all the same)
Follow my voice
And let me carry you away
I can see you're lost and alone
So let this song guide you
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
I'll let you know
I was like you too
Now every night
I take the stage
I do it for you
So you can let out all the hate
And all the rage inside
Life may never seem right
But well always have tonight
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Follow my voice
Let me carry you away
I can see you're broken
But we're all the same
(We're all the same)
Follow my voice
And let me carry you away
I can see you're lost and alone
So let this song guide you
Alone we may be lost but together we stand tall
Corny, I know. But I just want those of you that do take the time to read this, I care about you. You will always have a friend in me. You are not alone. I care for each and every single one of my friends, and that is something will always hold true.
200 Views, 25 Watchers + RC-001 AMA!
Posted 10 years agoDamn, it hasn't even been two weeks, and I've already hit my second milestone! *pops confetti blaster and lights a little candle on a cupcake* Thanks, guys. You've really made my night! And since it's that time of the week, as a little bit of a celebration, I'm tying this in with an AMA!
I'm going to be a bit busy today.
Posted 10 years agoHello everyone, just wanted to leave a quick journal before I take off- I'm going to be attending my grandfather's funeral, so if I don't reply, please don't be upset. This is just something I have to do.
I need some help.
Posted 10 years agoHey guys. I... I need some help.. Some shit happened with me and my emotions just kinda broke.. can anyone help me try to either fix myself and grow stable, or help me release it all..? I just want the pain to go away.. All I can do at this point is sulk and beat the shit out of myself because I hate what I am, and I know that's not how it needs to be taken care of.. but i can't help it...
It's quiet tonight.
Posted 10 years agoIs anyone willing to chat? I'd like to meet some new friends, and honestly, need a little bit of an emotional pick-me-up. If you want, you can either note me, or add me on Skype, either option is cool with me.
100 Views, 11 Watchers
Posted 10 years agoWell, it actually happened! I-I really can't thank you guys enough, but thank you so much! You've turned a rather 'meh' day into a great one, as have the friends who have helped me cheer up all day. Again, thank you so much! <3 :)
