...

Carry on.

My most sincere condolences go out to the family and friends of Dragoneer. His work in the fandom has helped so many people over the years. He is a legend who will never be forgotten.

I have two things I want to say.

1) I've always had a bit of a guilt drawing snuff. In all my works, the deaths have been consensual. This is because I grew up in an extremely toxic family and developed an unhealthy perception of affection, the "I would die for you" sort of mentality. There were a number of things in my childhood that further pushed and perverted this idea including religion, parents and things in media I was too young to comprehend. Over the past couple of years I have becoming more aware of myself. More so, how bad my parents really were, complete narcissists. My father is a know it all narcissist, refuses to believe he's ever wrong. My mother is the self-pity type, craving attention about her woes. The first shattered my self confidence from ever really forming to the point that I can't even take compliments properly. The latter, was my young misinterpretation of my mother "putting herself on the cross to look down he nose at others" . They are so awful that neither of my other siblings are on talking terms with them now. In realizing what my brain was doing, the concept off snuff is wearing off like my brain is untangle wires . "snuff isn't affection, THIS is affection"

2) I'm not giving up on lewd art in general :P I still like bondage and other kinks but I think I can do it in a much more practical, positive mindset. I just have to get over some drawing paralysis. I bring my sketchbook and pencil box to work every night, hoping I can throw something onto a page at work during break but even if I do bring it out, I just stare at the page. "I suck I suck I suck! What if I draw an anthro? will people wonder things about me? will people say things?" And then I have no real privacy at home to draw either, living with parents due to how expensive housing is. I feel so rusty that I've just shut down. Trying to work at it but rebuilding the routines is hard. So many plans, but I just burn out.

TLDR: 1)Not really into snuff much any more due to mental growth/realization
2) still want to draw but having mental and physical blocks.

...

I'm 42.

I'm going to be deleting a bunch of stuff, mostly older stuff, poorly done snuffy and macabre stuff. Truth is, I'm not nearly as much into snuff as a fetish anymore. The reason I was even into it in the first place was a way for me to deal with toxic affection I got as a kid. I've started to unravel myself and this "snuff therapy" isn't needed or wanted anymore. I'm not going to not draw death and the like in the future but some of it is just cringy and bad, remnant of a toxic mindset. so any of the MS paint garbage or things labeled "old stuff" is probably going to go. Also things that I dont feel fit the proper standard will probably also go, meaning some junk sketches and so forth.

Just kinda warning y'all. I accidentally took down some stuff already that I felt didn't meet a quality criteria. let me know and I might be able to send it to you or something. no promises though.

I'm spending a week visiting overseas. I may be a bit busy if you're trying to reach me.

I had made an alternate account with another OC I had. It was going to be the not so dark stuff though some mature and adult. It didn't feel right. So I'm planning on making a dark account and moving my snuff/gore related pics there. I admit, I'm not into drawing snuff as much any more (not completely off the sauce though) so I think it would be a good idea to separate it into a "midnight gallery" type of thing. This way, more people can enjoy what I do draw without having to see the bit more "offensive" material.

yay, I guess?

I'm just moving some stuff into scraps. I'm not deleting anything.

OMG I'm so OOOOOLD!!!

Going to go visit  Ristin IRL! We have been waiting for this for over a DECADE!

I'll be opening up for a few commissions soon. Work has been absolutely crazy, forcing me to work overtime with only an occasional night off here and there. the post covid fatigue is starting to finally subside. I hope to start working on commissions at the end of the month when I'm finally not working.

Commissions will be traditional with pencil, inks and color slots.

$15 for pencils: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/35510376/ https://www.furaffinity.net/view/32027337/
$25 inks: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/46487784/
$45 flats : https://www.furaffinity.net/view/29455369/
$55 simple shading https://www.furaffinity.net/view/34159526/
+ 50% for a second character https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45515086/

I got it from my mother who got a "really bad flu" and then didn't fucking quarantine herself away from me. At one point, when she was the most contagious, she was literally in my room, picking at french fries I had gotten from some take out ... TO GIVE TO THE DOG! I'm on the mend, back to work on Friday... because I have to make up coverage for people covering me since we don't have the staff for me to be sick.

The take away is that the virus is still out there and there are still stupid people who don't know how "germs" work.

Alright! I did one of these five freakin years ago and I do have to admit that it was a good time. In short, I'm looking to do some sketches but what I draw will be a bit random.

I need two lists. The first will be a list of male rule 34 candidates. The second is a list of more specific scenarios such as bondage, snuff, torture, hyper growth etc.

Feel free to respond below to give me up to two names or ideas. Save some for the rest of the class.

PLEASE: If it's something that I don't enjoy drawing or known not to draw, please don't suggest it. For example, no females, cub, scat or foul odors.

Examples from the last roulette:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/19723270/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/19703876/

Characters:
1: Kass
2: Empoleon (pokemon)
3: Fratley (FFIX)
4: Gabumon
5: Ratchet the Lombax
6: Toothless
7: Scooby Doo!
8: Sage Moondancer (All Hail King Julian)
9: Foxy (FNAF)
10: Freddy (FNAF)
11: Wildwing
12: Brooklyn (gargoyles)

Scenarios:
1: Shot with arrows
2: Drowning
3: Brain-play
4: Emasculation
5: Electrocuted
6: Cooked
7: Gallows
8: Garrote
10: amputee
11: head swap
12: Guillotine
13: X frame bondage

My doctor put me on antidepressants a bit over a year ago. At the time, I was having SEVERE anxiety attacks and depression episodes that made me feel worthless, unloved, and worst off, that I should just end it all. These attacks would last anywhere from 5 minutes to several hours. I started to become emotionally numb, at times for stretches that went on for days.

There were also several major issues going on in my life at the time that added to the stress. First, as for most, Covid hit, and for those that know me, I work in a hospital. That stress alone not a great starting point. Furthermore, my supervisor had a passive aggressive agenda on me. She apparently has his habit of choosing a tech and just focusing all negative energy on them. My home situation was far from great as well. I've been living with my parents for the past 10 or so years and my relation with my parents are not the best. My mother uses me as her in house shrink, unloading drama on me quite frequently. Just before covid hit, my sister decided that my parents weren't allowed to see the grandkids ever again. (whoooole lotta mess and lies and cheating and divorce and such going on that she didn't want us near) So my mother was constantly depressed and then would unload that on me every chance she could. For nearly a year, I had no relief; harassment at work, severe drama at home. I was cracking.

A few months ago, I got a break on both ends. First, at work, I was able to report my supervisor to HR and had hard evidence of gas lighting and faulty accusations with an exchange of emails between her and I. Then on the home front, my sister and her husband got a formal divorce. Now the kids come over every other week but only because their father, NOT my sister, allows it. It's clear that she wants nothing to do with my parents. So a few weeks ago, I started to ween myself off my medications and it's going well. I only had one very minor anxiety attack, but I was able to recognize it for what it was, put a positive thought in my head and continue on with my work. In all, that episode only lasted about 30 seconds

TLDR: Started meds a bit over a year ago due to high stress with issues at work and home with no relief. Issues have been resolved and I started to ween myself off the meds and so far, so good.

I have one more year to set myself up to make sure my 40s don't suck.

I just back into WoW after a 10 year hiatus. I used to raid in Cataclysm and looking to get into that again (Weekends would be best though I work every third weekend evening.)

I assume there are a bunch out there. Any good ones? I don't mind rolling a new toon on a new server or paying $20 to transfer my lvl 60 pally with mine/jewl.

 foxgold lost nearly everything in a California brush-fire the other night and is now completely homeless.

I am opening up for emergency donation commissions that will work like this:
1) you tell me you want a commission by commenting below then note me with the details.
2) If it's something I feel comfortable drawing, then I will draw it for you. (please no female genitalia, cub, diapers, scat, excessive amounts of characters in complex scenes etc)
3) After it's done, you can paypal the money directly to  foxgold for what ever amount you'd like to donate. I'm not even touching the money. Please be charitable

Pics will most likely be pencil like this: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/32027337/


Even if you don't want a pic and just would like to make a donation, his paypal is housefoxxy[at]gmail.com If even fifty people were kind enough to donate $2, that would $100 he could put towards food, clothing and finding a place to live.

just sayin with only 2 minutes left until my birthday is over. Werked all day anyway.

In the hospital with cellulitis since Thursday. it's not as bad as the last time I was hospitalized but still will be out of work for a while. Recovery is slow but good.

3/16/20 Home now with a better prognosis than I had hoped. The doctor thought I might need more IV meds at home but my leg recovered so much that I'm on oral medication. I was able to actually walk out of the hospital today rather than the last time I had this in which I couldn't walk for a month

Hey everyone! I'm opening up for THREE $15 PENCIL COMMISSION slots to help me cover bills and move out of my parents house faster.

- rule 34 male character (single char)
- bondage, peril, snuff (before or after)
- NSFW is fine

examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/32027337/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/32015265/

Comment below to grab a slot and we'll chat via notes from there.

Queue:
1)  Icarus_Aresane
2)  Stumpycoon
3)  philodidelphis

So the new year does bring lots of new opportunities and I don't mean that figuratively. As of the first, my health insurance kicks in and I can get the meds I need. Also, wage and hourly differentials at my job will increase so I will be making more money. I could be out of my parents house in 5 - 6 months if I play my cards right! For those that don't know, I have been living with my parents for the past 7 years after loosing my last full time job. Everything since then has been part time jobs or jobs that just failed because the business went under. I even undertook a lot of debt recently to try and go back to school for nursing which never panned out. With my debt down and savings up, I can finally leave this fucking toxic hellhole.

Here's the short of it. This past summer, my sister finally had it with my parents and now won't let them see the grandkids anymore. This put my mother in the absolute biggest self-pity cycle and she uses it for every excuse. I usually avoid my mother's questions but she finally asked me if she ever demeaned me because my sister was calling her " a bad influence". That's when I told her...

Yes. My mother used to beat me on a regular basis and ask me if I was retarded over the most minute things (not picking up a cloth napkin on the floor that I didn't see etc) to the point that lost all self confidence and I have never been able to get it back. Even when people compliment me on something I did, I think they're just being polite. Even after telling her, she cried, begged for forgiveness and then went straight back to her own abuses as a child (namely just repeating one or two things) and bashing my sister. The next day she still won't admit that she would beat me.

Talking to my brother, he started therapy for his own abuses and he says it's been helping him a lot. When my health insurance with my new job is settled, I'm looking to start as well.

The first is a thing, the second should be.

I'm already making plans to draw some hunky dads for Dad-cember. I have started to draw and sketch more but I just haven't been posting. I'll throw some stuff up soon.

I have an old bamboo that I've tried to draw on in the past but I can never get the hang of drawing on my desk while looking up at my monitor. It's also one of the smallest ones and I keep trying to make strokes bigger than the area allows.

Any suggestions on a starter tablet that allows me to work directly on the pic?