Hey all!

I'm entering this raffle here and you should too! If for nothing else than to give this artist a watch and some much needed love.

Enter here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50164902/

Best of luck to you all. ^_^

I have a lot of thoughts going into this decision to remove myself from Telegram and I'm happy that I'm finally going through with it. This is not the first time I have deleted my account and the app from my phone and computer, but this time I'm not doing it as a rash decision.

A big reason is because my interactions on Telegram are hollow and not based in the kinds of relationships that I want to maintain. It's true that I could simply only talk with those that I have a deeper connection with but I already maintain those relationships through other platforms. Most of the people I do talk with on Telegram seem to only want to chat for a few weeks before disappearing down into the list of other chats that never are looked at or used. Even worse, when they (new furries I'm getting to know) realize I'm in a relationship they seem to want to keep me at an arms length distance. I really want to cut that wasted time spent on trying to entertain others from my life. I'm tired of the revolving door of horny furs that only want to get their rocks off and nothing more.

The biggest reason by far though, is that there is an aspect of my love life that seems to be infringed upon so often on Telegram. I sincerity admit that I'm to blame for some of this too. But for many years now Telegram has been the source of a lot of temptation. I regularly get teased and flirted with, and there are times when I'll do it too. I have allowed myself get lost in sharing content with others and pursuing "the chase" as it were. It often starts with a piece of art or a gif, then a teasing remark here, a suggestive or lewd sticker there, and before I know it I need to pump the breaks and tell myself to cool it because I could easily take it way too far. And I guess that's the hardest part about it all. It's so easy to do. And every time it does happen I feel worse and worse about it. It's time to stop it now.

The last big reason is because I feel like my connection with the furry fandom as a whole is not as important to my life as it once was. Don't get it twisted, I LOVE the furry fandom for so many reasons. I will probably never truly stop associating and participating in furry. But Telegram exists in my life mainly to stay connected with the fandom and for the past 6 months or so I don't feel like it's needed anymore. Sometimes it feels more like a nuisance and a relic that's past its time. I want to let a new chapter in my life take hold and embrace the things that are so new and exciting for me. I want to commit to my wonderful partner and to the things that are tugging at my passion to be explored.

There will probably be a time when I'll go back to Telegram, but this is the right time to put it away for now. For close friends, you know who you are, you know where to find me. <3

Thanks for reading. Changes are coming and I'm very excited for them. ^_^

I realize that after 2 weeks of isolation without any job to go to or any friends to visit that all of this has stressed me worse than I had imagined.

The result of the global pandemic has cost me my savings and my job, even though I should consider myself lucky that I have health insurance at this point. But the stress that came with all of this was more than simply quality of life and money. The other half of it is not having anyone to blame, not even myself.

I want to yell and scream and throw things around the house in a frustrated rage. But I can't, and won't, because even with the screwy politics and the unjust lack of a plan to deal with this crisis there still is no one to blame. It slowly burns just knowing how powerless I am to do anything about it.

Not the most uplifting thing but I left the need to get that off of my chest. I'll probably finnish my whiskey here then head of to bed.

I hope you are all staying safe and are in good health.

Stay strong!

Guess that means I'm on the greymuzzle path.

I hope everyone had a fun and Halloween. =3

I've had a change of heart with how artists conduct their business practices because I'm running into some really crappy issues regarding commissions that I've already paid money for. So if you are all wondering why I haven't uploaded anything to my FA in so long it's because I've been jaded three times in a row now by artists who have not upheld their end of the bargain.

I won't beat a dead horse since I'm well aware I'm not the only one with this issue, but rather I'm making some new rules for myself. And I encourage you all to learn from my mistakes as a long time commissioner.

1. Now when I commission a piece of art I will start setting deadlines with the artist if one isn't already in place by the artist because there has been too many instances when an artist will conveniently "forget" or simply take priority of other commissions over mine (in one case indefinitely it seems).

2. I will also refuse to be charitable to artists who want donations in exchange for art, because if that's the case I might as well be purchasing as a customer and not as someone being generous. I find that artists who want handouts have no honest intention of putting in work since a handout isn't a business transaction and therefore they feel no obligation to create art for you.

3. Lastly, I will refuse to do business with artists that don't show WIP's. There is no excuse for an artist to bar a commissioner from seeing a work in progress (unless arrangements are made that specify otherwise), because it's an important part of communicating if there needs to be changes made. It's also validation for the artist to see that they are legit in fulfilling their end of the deal.

These are my new rules and I think that they are totally fair for the artist and myself. Any thoughts or opinions will be appreciated on this topic. =3

At about noon today two major events happened in my life today.

The first thing that happened was my official employment with an internship that I will be working towards completing in May. I was overwhelmed with joy and satisfaction knowing that my dream to graduate university is nearly completed. As I was walking to my car to leave my place of employment I recieved a text from my father that took that smile off of my face instantly.

This led to the second thing that happened was being informed that my grandfather of 104 years had passed away. It was a car ride back to my temporary home that felt me at a loss of words because even as happy as I was for myself I couldn't smile or even listen to the radio. I was lost in my own head as I remembered my earliest and latest memories of my grandfather. Once I got home I sat on my bed, called my mother and made sure that she was okay...then my father.

And now that 8 hours have passed and I've had more time to let the news of my grandfather and the achievement of my internship sink in I'm sitting here feeling alright.

I will continue my journey and I'll mourn for my grandfather.

I love you Papa. And thank you for living your life to the fullest.

What a ride it has been so far, sharing this website with all of you wonderful fuzzies. X3

I don't really have much to say about other than thank you. Thank you to all of the people I've met, to all of the incredible artists that I've watched and worked with over the years, and to the community that I hold dearly to my heart.

Have a happy Halloween!

I have been meaning to write a journal out for a long time but couldn't seemingly find the proper words or how I wanted to approach the topic. Generally speaking I usually write when I'm feeling low in life or when something major has happened. But there has been many major life changing events that have happened since the start of the year and I'm not sure I could get to them all.

To start, I can say with confidence that my goal still remains the same. Graduate and leave Vegas. Yet despite that goal I have finally been able to enjoy myself out here more than I ever have before in the past. This year so far has brought me not only a chance to fulfill some personal bucketlist achievements but I have also made myself my own little family of friends that I honestly care for. I got my first promotion ever at my work and I'm now happily working full time in a supervisory role. My classes are all but finished...except for my internship...but never again will I have to worry about finals or a midterm! I'm making enough money now to wear I can safely travel without having to worry about paying the bills or not being able to feed myself, and I can splurge in the furry world more than I ever have been able to.

I'm still growing and learning how to make myself even more stable and independent as an individual but I can happily say that progress is being made with plenty of room for self improvement, life continuing to surprise and throw curve balls every now and then. I guess the one big draw back for me is that in some cases I get so eager to go out and get what I want that sometimes it feels I'm holding myself back. And in that anticipation I let moments, days, even weeks slip away that I could be spending doing something other than waiting for some event or goal to make it's way toward me. But on the flip side, you need to put in work to get what you want. Even if that means grinding away at your job to earn enough for your prize.

Regardless of all that, I'm still here and changing as I go. I hope that for all of you life is good and that the future beings lots of loves, hugs and snugs. =3

Life has been quite a bit different lately but overall I'm happy with the changes in my life. I feel happier, I have more energy, and I'm ready to finish what I started. I'm thankful to all those who have stood by me and for all those that I have met and befriended along the way. I'm so close to achieving so many goals and I'm excited for the future again. ^_^

I hope all of you have had a safe a fun day! Take care!

Moving time! Soon I'll be packing up, hitting the road and moving my fluffybutt 14 minute from where I currently live! WOOHOOOO!

My parents seem to have this knack for pushing my emotions to lows even after I've had an incredible and happy week so far. I'm not gonna rant and rave about this too much...but holy hell they can be assholes. As much as I love the both of them, they can't get it through their heads that I'm not a child anymore. They keep trying to interfere by telling me what to do and how to do it, and then get upset when I tell them no or defy what THEY want for me. Most ironically of all, the more they try and get me to do something the less I want to do it and they know this. But they keep trying anyway. -_-

I've officially made the decision to start putting away money for my very own fursuit! After being around them for so long and finally updating my reference sheet I've made it my goal to start saving up and putting in some time to research different builders and varieties. However in the case of my knowledge as far as what the process is and how to best go about commissioning one I've only obtained unofficial advice...or complaints. XD

So here are a few questions that I have for you! Even if you'd never commissioned a fursuit before I'd still like you're input to, so don't be shy to comment. ^_^

1) Roughly how long is the process of a fursuit being made? I've heard everything from a couple of months to a couple of years! So I'm really curious if there is more precise number for this one.

2) Should I make a ducktape dummy sooner rather than later? And do the majority of builders require ducktape dummies?

3) What kind of references to builders like to see? Will they require a separate reference sheet from the one that I have now?

If I think of anything else I'll ask them here or just make a new journal. Thanks everyone! ^_^

I'm at a weird crossroad in my life currently as I take myself into a direction that I both wanted and needed. For the first time since I graduated high school and six years of doing college I have finally put my foot down and taken a semester off from school. Sounds silly, but the decision was harder to make than it sounds. And now that I have achieved this well deserved break I look down the road and ask myself...what am I going to do with myself?

I do have a part-time job again and I'm making enough to keep myself afloat with a little on the side to have fun with. I find myself in a situation with many possibilities on the horizon and I have been racking my brain around as to what I would like to do with the time that I have given myself in the future. Playing PC games has always been a default pastime and so has been watching netflix, but I've reached a point where games and movies aren't satisfying me like they used to. I don't game any more than an hour a day because I get bored of it. They are still fun but they don't make me excited or hold my attention like they used to. So as a result, I've been thinking about things that I'd want to do before the next (and hopefully last) semester begins.

Learning German, learning how to program, getting back into music, working on getting myself into shape again are some of the biggest things that I've pondered doing on my spare time. Why not start now? Well....to put it simply, I have no desire to work on anything else while class is still in session. I have put my energy into trying to keep my schooling in order and it's put lots and lots of passion on the backburner with little left over for other things I'd want to do. Getting back into shape for example, is an activity I have tried to make into a routine many times over the past few years. And every time I try to get things on track I do it for a week or two and then it all crumbles because I'm either to tired or to frustrated to carry on. Granted I must admit I don't like working out. XD I just want to get my body back into decent shape. But it's the goals that matter most of all, and I'm really hoping that I can rejuvenate myself before I head back for my final semester in school.

I'm really excited and I'm not going to waste my time just playing video games and staying locked in my room. I'm going to live a little and and start doing the things that make life feel worth living. Not just working 30 hours a week and then going to class with tests, quizzes and papers hanging over my head.

For real. Anything at all. XD I've only done one of these before and I feel like doing one again. I want to come home from work with lots of things to answer. =3

I lay wide awake here with these two words on my mind because these are the types of sounds I want to hear right now. My ears are eager for music that is mysterious and elegant. And it's driving me up the wall is what it's doing. XD

What brought this whole thing on is actually a trailer that I can't stop watching. Not only for its awesome visuals but the music...gawd the score in this trailer is so damn perfect. I want tracks like the one in this trailer on my playlist because it's so mouth watering good.

So please! If anyone of you can give me a recommendation please share!

Also, here is the trailer I was talking about: https://youtu.be/gsOes0IA4EE

This is seriously one of the better unofficial holidays I can 100% get behind. This was created by  Spelunker_Sal and  Dreamous.

The journal that explains more in depth: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8154925/

I hope to see much uncut art today! Because yes.

Just as a mini rant...I feel very justified in calling out these pay to win games. All technicalities aside, I understand that in most cases things that allow you to win in these games can be earned by simply playing them, and yes I also know that developers need to generate revenue after releasing a game. However I can't help but feel cheated when I'm playing a game like Heartstone and I know for a fact that people in ranked have sunk possibly hundreds of dollars into this game for the sake of winning.

As far as I've found there is no strict definition on "pay to win" however, I do think that Urban Dictionary summed it up best: "Games that let you buy better gear or allow you to make better items then everyone else at a faster rate and then makes the game largely unbalanced even for people who have skill in the game without paying."

Some games really walk the fine line in this regard like Warframe and League of Legends...but games that make it so obvious like Heartstone, Archeage, and Pay Day 2 have all the fun stripped from them. Part of what makes a game so fun is when you can master the game and use the skills you have learned to do the best you can. This is even more true with MMO games when people take their skills head to head on a balanced playing field. Only problem is that more and more games are tipping the balance in favor of those who are willing to waste their wallet to get an advantage. I get it, winning is great. But personally, I feel much more satisfied when I can obey the laws of the game and challenge my own skills. That's what make games like League of Legends and various other competitive games so much fun and exciting.

But the instant people are giving the option of getting the upper hand for chump-change, they will go ahead and do just that. And for some of these games, you could be grinding for years and still not get to the level of others who have had the upper hand from the get-go because they paid to get an unfair advantage. And unfortunately I feel that this trend is only going to get worse in the future as devs figure out that they can makes more money by allowing gamers to pay their way to victory.

I know it sounds petty, but after years and years of gaming both on the console and on the PC I have become more and more annoyed over the years with people buying their wins. So...as much as I love playing MMO games and games in general, I've felt more and more like I need to talk about this because it's like the nickle in the jar for every person I've faced in games who have had a clear advantage...and the jar is bursting now.

I won't stop playing those games, but I certainly won't be playing them as often.

And your conscience says in the back of your head, "Goooood. Let the hate flow through you."

Fuck you Speeplink and fuck you SNHD. I'm getting some wine putting on a movie.

So it's been a good half a year since I have done a very person journal here on FA. One of the main reasons for this being that my life has been moving so fast that there would be too much for me to cover. There has been a mess of good things and bad things that I have come to face...things that are trivial and objective and things that are personal and subjective. I'm not going to cover all of it here because I don't feel like writing an essay of life events. But I can say that as quickly as my life is changing so am I changing and learning as I go.

My living situation has been a hell of a ride all on it's own. I knew that it would be vastly different from living in the college dorms but there are some things that naturally you have to learn on your own. And it puts into prospective what you prioritize more than things like roommates who clean and are quiet after midnight. In my case, an excellent living situation went quickly (half a year) from awesome to mediocre. It's not the worst and for the price I pay to live here it's not all bad...but dealing with my landlord who is irresponsible and inconsiderate, an uptight roomie with major trust issues on top of another roomie who isn't supposed to be here in the first place and has a kid to boot...you can see how the hassles and issues can add up quickly.

My social life is still lackluster as it has been since I first moved here. While I still have my loved ones and good friends who have remained loyal to me since I have moved to this place, I still have yet to make any real friends in Las Vegas. Both furs and nonfurs a-like I have not managed to make decent bonds with. Friendships that I thought were good turned out to be hallow and fell apart in some way shape or form. But! Despite that fact, I'm not going to give up looking. And I will do my best to maintain and keep the healthy friendships that I have in the present. =3

School....oh gawd here I go again. XD On the bright side, after this semester I will only have 8 more classes left to complete my major. And believe me, I'm so ready to get the hell out of school for good and forever. However I have had my setbacks. They hurt and have made me honesty consider if it's still worth it to continue. But I'm to close to finishing and have put in to much work to stop now. No matter how this plays out in the future I will walk that carpet and I will obtain that paper that has probably shortened my life by a few years on stress alone. And I can't wait to start living a life where I'm no longer dependent on my parents money and I have the freedom to take my career where ever I damn well please. So in the end, it'll be worth it.

The changes will not end here but I have made it this far. No matter how alone or stressed I feel I'll keep pushing on. Learning, changing, with happiness and love in mind.

Thanks as always for reading and I hope that every single one of you can also live the life that you want to lead. Take care and have a wonderful weekend. =D

Most especially thank you my wonderful Daddy Tiger. I don't know how I would have made it this far without you in my life. <3

I'll be playing some GW2 and using FaceRig as well. Come say hello! =3

https://www.twitch.tv/metalmurph

I have been getting slapped in the face consistently with the amount of bandwidth I have at my disposal because one of my roommates is constantly on Amazon Fire or Hulu. And I'm pretty sure that the third uses some of it as well but just not as constantly. This makes playing online and most especially streaming very difficult. I know there isn't much I can do other than port forwarding, but I know the landlord wouldn't give that information to me. If anybody has a recommendation or knows of a loop hole that I can utilize please share, I would really appreciate it.

Oh! And While I'm here just a quick little life update: I'm back in school again, I moved into a house about 5 months ago, and I quit my job and acquired a mentor. X3 So yeah many many changes. I'll post more details later!

Aspirin, cheeseburger, water and sleep. >_<

If you're interested in my basic ass channel then come join the party! =D

https://www.twitch.tv/metalmurph

There are a few quotes that always really hit home with me. They come from movies, songs, public speakers...etc. And For shits and giggles I thought I'd share them. Because I can. And it's a good excuse to take a break from my homework.

Captain Barbossa: "You have to be lost to find a place that can't be found."

Green Day - Jesus of Suburbia: "It says home is where your heart is but what a shame 'cause everyone's heart doesn't beat the same."

Anonymous: "Life is to be experienced, not remembered."

Frank Underwood: "I've always loathed the necessity of sleep. Like death, it puts even the most powerful men on their backs."

Guy Fawkes: "A desperate disease requires a dangerous remedy."

Tim Minchin - The Pope Song: "Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucker. Fuck the motherfucker, fucking fuck the motherfucker. Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucking pope."

That is all. =3 If you have any awesome or thought provoking quotes you'd like to share please do! Since we as humans like catch phrases and edgy one liners.

Yeah...furries and their paws. X3 I'm a fellow paw lover as you can probably tell. Even before I considered myself a furry I found that I was highly attracted to feet-paws on anthro characters throughout my life. I remember watching a few shows and movies in my youth just to stare at some paws I liked. As silly as it seems I've always found them to be beautiful, even in non-sexual ways I still find beauty in feet-paws that are well drawn and pronounced. In fact, if virtual reality ever gets to a realistic standard the first thing I'm gonna do is make an avatar with some big sexy paws to show off. ;D

So I ask of you all, what are your favorite paws? =3 I'll give some detail on mine if you care to read but I'd like to know how other peoples tastes in paws are as well.

To start off for myself, I'm a fan of both platigrade and digigrade paws so I'm not particularly picky when it comes to that. Though if a foot-paw is platigrade I do prefer it with an arch of some kind. Flatfeet paws are fine too but I do like a slight arch better. For digigrade I don't normally like huge arches to the hock like you normally see on werewolves, so I definitely prefer them small or medium. This applies to reptilian characters as well any other fuzzy creature that exists in the fandom (this excludes hooves since I don't consider them to be paws nor do I find them attractive). For toes I like at least 3-5 toes on the paw and my personal preference are to have the toes, ball, and heal to be padded. Paw pads are just too cute! ^_^ However I don't like pads to be super duper thick. Normal thickness in the paws are purrfect for me. I like it when toes aren't smooshed together, but I also don't like them spread out too far either. And finally, (this is a make it or break it for many paws in my eyes) is that they must be clawed. Very rarely are there characters that have human-like nails or no nails or claws at all that I end up liking. I also like the claws to have a sharp point, and I prefer them to be short and curved. Claws that are too long or too thick can look silly and be off-putting. And that just about sums it up for me.

Do you think I have good taste? And do tell me about your own paw fantasies. ^_^