Holy hell, things are getting worse and worse at my job. To a degree it's going to make things harder on me, but at the same time I can stand back and laugh at it at this point and watch the store destroy itself.

Found out a few weeks back after my vacation that my department manager is actually leaving. Wasn't really shocked at all, since she kept saying she was going to and she's supposedly fed up with things like I am. So, Saturday will be her final day then. As far as I'm concerned the door can hit her ass on the way out. She betrayed our friendship when she became a typical manager and started stabbing me in the back.

Then things started stacking up. The new cashier that has been here for maybe a month or two quit last week. Another will be mostly leaving halfway through September because of school. The other wants to get out of there as soon as she can because she's just sick of it, but needs another job first. So, realistically that leaves me, 1 cashier/dog trainer and 3 managers. And even then that's supposedly shaky. I have to take everything with a grain of salt from my manager when she tells me stuff. But supposedly there's at least another manager that's thinking/planning on quitting. Which if it's the one I'm thinking of that's funny, because she barely does anything anyways.

So there's all that....and then I find out more. I've known about this for a while now, but I'm taking it all with a grain of salt. Was told a while ago that my GM is not supposed to have her dogs at work, she was written up and if she does it again she's fired. That I can believe, because our district manager is an asshole. She was, "supposed to be good because she climbed up the ladder instead of just being put in that position." But she's still an ass. Well, supposedly there's talk where at least one of the other employees is starting to take evidence to report it in an attempt to get the DM fired. Along with supposed talks about a walk out and other things.

I'm just standing back at this point and watching how things unfold. I'm not taking the department manager position with how things are and have been and with things being so chaotic now, some of the heat should be taken off of me and the department. Just gotta wait and see where the wind blows in all of this.

Still looking for more people to play the game with. Still in part because our group is still being shits as usual. Let alone they seem to be drifting away from the game quicker and quicker anymore. I play on xbox, but I know that doesn't matter anymore since the cross platform crap they implemented a while ago now. Only thing I still ask is if you add me let me know who you are on here. That way I at least have some way of figuring out who I'm actually talking to.

Xbox: Naki husky
Destiny account name: Naki Husky#9248

So this is a continued problem that's been going on with us. The group we've played with for years now have been alright and then they'll just be shit with us. We've both been kind of tired of how some of them were with us, but we didnt have much of a choice. And now that the new raid has dropped they're being shits again. We both usually work weekends and of course they're not caring and being shits about that. Wanting to start the raid eailer than planned because, "we don't want to start at our normal time."

So, anyone out there want or need to people for their group/clan? We play on xbox, but I know it's cross play anymore.

Xbox name is naki husky
I can always message people later with my bungie account name or whatever it is. I just don't know it off the top of my head here.

Also, update, hi.

Or at least hopefully anyways.

At this point he's roughly 12 weeks out from his second surgery and still doing very well. At our last checkup last month they told us he did much better recovering from both knees at the same time than most dogs do with only one bad knee. Fast forward to now and we were told that he can pretty much go back to normal. He's allowed to do more strenuous activities again. Things like chasing after a ball and running around outside. Along with the first time since they've been together, both him and Tsume are allowed to play together now, at least with our supervision anyways. Since one of them would probably get hurt or they would just destroy the house if we let them have at it. Though, we mostly just really don't want Kiba to end up hurting himself when he's still not ready yet. Despite what his doctors have said. We figure we'll still keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, at least until December. Though at the same time we know we probably want to keep an eye on him for the rest of his life at this point. Because the last thing we'd want to do is have him injure himself again.

Either way, we're so happy to have him act practically normal again. Even if he's been a huge pain in the ass again. But again, it's a good thing. Aside from being slightly weird that we don't have to completely baby him anymore.

Get the fuck off my page and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Apparently someone got upset at the photo update of Kiba's leg and felt the need to report it. Which really shouldn't surprise me at all. Wouldn't surprise me either if it's someone that's also into scat or watersports or something.

It's still funny/sad how biased the admins are on this site. There's so many suggestive/fetish related icons and yet when they get reported, typically nothing is done about it. Because, "there's nothing wrong with said icon" and it's usually because it's someone popular. So god forbid anything is done against them.

Also, because I wouldn't be surprised, if you're reading this or opened this jornal, 'Neer, it just proves my and others' points even more. And if you are/did, prove me wrong and spread around or donate to that gofundme for my dog. Because, I know you ignored that response I made before on that whole subject. If it has to do with your ego or your once again site, you're all over it. Otherwise, you could care less.

So, I had my second recheck for my whole high blood pressure situation and things are starting to get a bit frustrating.

So, I'm trying to figure out from others that have the same issue and gone through all of this, if you don't mind sharing and you can always send me a note with it. But I'm trying to figure out if there was some other sort of underlying issue causing the high blood pressure or if it was just from stress? I'll end up having to talk to my mother tomorrow since I know she has high blood pressure and I'm pretty sure it's just from stress and nothing else.

Because, so far my doctor really doesn't want to listen to me. I told her more than likely a large chunk of my high blood pressure has been work and this last year especially. But she really doesn't want to hear it and, "there's no way work and you being anxious about being at the doctor makes it get this high." She also acted like there's no way my weight is causing any of it, I'm 6'3" and 285. And honestly I wouldn't be surprised if that was causing some of it. Especially since I've gained a bit back after moving all those years back. She wants me to get a sleep apnea test, which fine, I could partially believe I have that. In part because of the weight I gained. She also wants me to get a renal artery doppler done on my kidneys to rule out something or another with that. But that's going to get pushed off, whether she wants me to or not. Since I can not afford a other $1000 bill on top of this hospital crap and then kiba getting his other knee done. Also my bloodwork has pretty much been fine, since they did it again. Other than her just wanting me to essentially just make sure I'm eating a more balance diet.

But yeah, I feel like she's just not listening to me on anything. Granted I could partially believe that she's just trying to do what's right for me. But at the same time, acting like none of this is from me being stressed out at work or just getting extra stressed when I go to the doctors is ridiculous.

Not really mentioning much else with work. Since that is what it is at this point. Plus I've been on "vacation" this week.

So with Kiba. A week and a half ago he had his 8 week checkup. He was doing pretty well, but they said his knee was a little inflamed and it was trying to pop out because of fluid behind it. So this past Tuesday we took him back in. He was to be sedated, given a shot or two and have it drained. Well, we had joked about something happening, in part because I've been trying to be really positive about everything with him. In part because all of this has to work. So we waited out in the parking lot for a call back. Since he's not going fully under and it's a little over an hour to get there we were trying to figure out if we were able to roam around the area for a few hours and pick him back up. Instead of making that full trip twice in one day. Well, when we got the call back the thing we joked about happened. His doctor was a bit surprised, but also happy. His knee was perfectly fine now. We had guessed when we heard about this that the lump he developed had just drained into his knee and that was causing the problems. She said it was completely possible. So she just sent him home with us and we started some of his other exercises. We figured we'll give it about a month or so and then call her back with updates and such. Since we weren't told about a time for getting him checked again or to do the other knee.

As far as me, I'm doing better at least in regard to the blood pressure thing. Had my actual doctors visit the other day and got put on two more pills, at least for now. It appears to be helping even more and then I have another checkup in three weeks. So we'll see where all of that goes.

The only other thing I have to figure out here is this damn bill from the hospital. I did a bunch of research on it and am attempting to fight it. So I'm waiting for them to send me a detailed list of things and probably fight a bunch of it. Because as far as the bill it just has the hospital visit, blood work and ekg on it. Just for going there they are trying to charge me $2000. So someone screwed something up on that part. So like I said I'm waiting for a detailed list on things so I can sift through that and get them to change it. Let alone them giving me an ekg when it would have shown that I was already given one a week prior. I'm not terribly worried about paying that bill, since I can. I just shouldn't be paying that much for being stressed out and being forced to wait at a hospital for 10 hours for them to just give me a pill and send me home because I was fine. Along with having to listen to how they've had an influx of covid cases coming in.

So that's just a waiting game with that. I figured I'll probably have to skip doing the email method once I get the list and start making calls. But I figured if I can get a large chunk of money taken off of it, then it's worth it. Oh yeah also, my insurance barely paid for anything. Because they healthcare system in this country sucks so much. I think it paid for close to 400 or something like that and I still owe around 2300 or something.

It seems anymore that I don't even really have a second to sort things out, but with how work continues to be,it's not really a surprise.

For starters Kiba is still doing well. We've had a bit of a scare for him, but by the looks of it, and from what the doctor told us, it may be just random fluid buildup. It's above his knee and she was originally worried that it was his knee cap, but his attitude hasn't changed at all and his walking is still the same. So we're just to keep an eye on him and don't do his stretches until next week when he's supposed to have his 8 week checkup.

The whole hospital thing took another turn, but that doesn't surprise me at all. I haven't gotten a bill from that or the other place I went to just yet. But after doing some digging I have a feeling my shitty insurance didn't cover anything with it and it's going to end up being an over $2000 bill on that. Most of it was just sitting in the damn waiting room for almost 10 hours. Though one thing with all of that, since I completely forgot about it, is that I can probably apply for the partner fund thing that my company has had going for almost a year now. I figure might as well, considering my job is what contributed to me actually going to the hospital because it's what gives me the high blood pressure. But I'll deal with that crap when it comes down to it.

Though I'm not surprised, they were never able to get me in for a doctors visit earlier than the 20th. But like I said I'm not surprised. The starter prescription they gave me has at least been helping a bit. I'll probably just end up needing something a bit stronger either way to lower things a bit more.

The semi funny/sad thing about all of that is I've mostly finally gotten to the point at my work where I just don't care anymore. It's shitty to have to not care if someone isn't going to listen to me on caring for something, but I unfortunately can't save everything. Especially when the people just don't give a shit and the company doens't stand by denying people a sale, unless they say they don't care if the animal dies. I have also been trying to just not care with these idiot customers and let them fail at certain things too. Either way I hate myself and the fact that I've finally gotten to a point that I don't care, but at this point it's what I need to do to survive. Plus it's not like I owe this company anything. They under pay me, didn't give hazard pay, think that a handful of shitty bonuses is the same thing and let customers and other employees treat me like shit.

TLDR; Went to the hospital yesterday for 10 hours because none of the doctors offices would help me with my high blood pressure, just to give me pills that somewhere else could have done and still have to wait a month to see a family doctor about it.




So, that was the last thing I wanted to happen, especially with all the covid crap going on. However, with how this country is and how fucked up the the medical system is, I apparently had to jump through this hoop.

Going back a little bit, two Mondays ago I went to an Urgent Care. I had hurt my back at work and their new system is to just send you somewhere if you hurt yourself. This was the first time I had been to a doctor in about 10 years, so I was anxious to say the least. Well, turns out they wouldn't do anything for my back because my blood pressure was too high. It also didn't help anything that one of the managers gave me a bunch of crap and yelled at me before heading there. So at that point I just went back to work, let them know what happened, found out I wouldn't get compensated for checking things out for my blood pressure and just went home early.

Called my caseworker Monday of this week and told him I needed to see someone else for my back. So yesterday I went somewhere else and ended up getting the same result. The doctor actually talked to me a bit more, but again refused to do anything and said I just needed to go to the hospital as well. They at least gave me another option and said I could go to a family doctor down the road and get checked out.

Well, once again they refused to do any blood work or do anything for me at all. So that's money out of my pocket because again with how this whole system is set up in this country is so damn screwed up.

At which point I just bit the bullet and went to the hospital. I hated knowing that more than likely Kep was going to have to walk home from work and the little one was going to be stuck in his crate for much longer than he was supposed to be.

And so starts me staying at the hospital for a whole 10 hours for something that probably could have been solved in an hour or two. Got there, did my vitals, told them what I was there for. Not long after that I went into a side room to give them all of my base info. Maybe an hour or two after that they did an EKG, which I've already had done two other times and was told it was perfectly fine, and they took some blood finally. After that it was another 6 hours sitting in the damn chairs of the waiting room for them to do something. I kept hearing people saying one thing or another about what all was going on. Supposedly they've been super busy like this for the past 4 days and they were at capacity for people in rooms there. Which is fine, I understand. I know things are crazy at places like that right now, but I figured that at least with how bad things were for me that I would have been seen a lot quicker. And the handful of people I kinda sorta had interactions with there were surprised as well that I wasn't taken back sooner. Hell the woman that was across from me for a while was there for maybe half the time I was and she kept thinking she had a heart attack or something, but seen shortly after me and still left before me.

But after about 8 hours they finally put me through to the next area, which was spent once again sitting in a chair. It was at least slightly more comfortable and I was able to try and rest my eyes for a bit while I was waiting on things. They took my blood pressure two more times and it was at least slowly going down at that point. They also did two more blood tests on me as well. Which was still interesting either way, since I've never had that done before.

Once that was all said and done and when I was finally able to be let go nothing was any clearer than before. Which is how I figured it was going to go, but again with how screwed up this country is on things, it's what apparently had to be done. All the blood work came back fine. Nothing gave them any kind of red flags to explain things. I wasn't really having any kind of symptoms as well from everything. So, the only thing that came from it was they at least started me on a small dose of blood pressure medication. Since they didn't want to throw too much at me right away. I picked up the rest of the prescription today and have at least 90 days worth of that.

The other end of things, and where it gets even more screwed up, is that I had already made an appointment at a family doctor in the area to try and get looked at on the 20th of May. So because I did that the ED couldn't just get me in to another place earlier associated with the hospital. So I was supposed to, and did, call the place today, tell them the ED wanted me to be seen within a week or two and not a month out and told them everything that was going on. I got a, "oh well there's no other appointments any sooner since you're a new patient here. So we'll let you know if anything opens up sooner, but you'll just have to wait until then either way."

So yeah, even with jumping through their damn hoops I still have to wait to get things taken care of. Which I really shouldn't be surprised about either way. But it is what it is. I just need to try and take it as easy as possible at this point and keep taking these meds that they gave me and hopefully they will help me enough here until I can get something that'll work for me a bit better.

It's been at least a few days since everything and he's doing well or at least as well as he can be after having leg surgery. Everything ended up costing just about $5200. That's not including if we have to take him in for some sort of physical therapy.

But according to the doctor everything seems to be normal for him so far. Along with we were able to finally get him to eat something today. After him not eating anything since at least Friday. So we just have to keep up with things, make sure his leg is healing and then after week two start working on strengthening it again. Though a few months down the road after all of that is good....we go through it again with his other leg. But the hope is once all of this is done he won't really have any issues, until maybe once he's much older, but we'll see. I just want him to be better at this point so he can actually have a lift again.

I'm also still posting around his gofundme link since this is only halfway done at this point. Along with if I can take him to some physical therapy sessions I'd like to, let alone with how we're going to have to get him some really good supplements now for his joints.

https://twitter.com/Naki_Husky/stat.....77248826519556

https://twitter.com/mochalatte_dog/.....77350836142081

https://gofund.me/a718a342

At this point I'm kind of throwing feelers out everywhere for options for this. Just so we have multiple things to fall back on at this point. Because after all the bad that keeps happening lately, we need some kind of luck.

Most of the details are in the gofundme link and the other link in that. But for a quick summary on things is that his knees essentially went out. From what the specialist said everything can be fixed and it's something they see all the time. But he needs both of them operated on ti be able to get around normally again. All together they quoted me on $8,000-$10,000 for everything. Since they're not doing both legs at once though it's still $4,000-$5,000 per operation and just a few months apart. But this isn't something we can put off and he needs this one way or another so that he doesn't somehow get worse and so he start getting around normally again.

Any traction for this would be appreciated, since the first operation one way or another has now been rescheduled for March 18th, due to his doctor not feeling well.

As of today he had his first surgery. Still awaiting the final amount, but it's somewhere from 5200-5500. Along with I'd like to be able to take him to at least a handful of physical therapy sessions, which were somewhere around 160 for a one hour session. Along with we are going to have to make sure he's always on some sort of supplement for his knees.

So there are links to the gofundme and links to both of the twitter accounts to at least help spread it around.

https://twitter.com/Naki_Husky/stat.....86136148385799

https://twitter.com/mochalatte_dog/.....86228448190468

https://gofund.me/bf99e9d4

Going to keep re-posting this periodically.

At this point I'm kind of throwing feelers out everywhere for options for this. Just so we have multiple things to fall back on at this point. Because after all the bad that keeps happening lately, we need some kind of luck.

Most of the details are in the gofundme link and the other link in that. But for a quick summary on things is that his knees essentially went out. From what the specialist said everything can be fixed and it's something they see all the time. But he needs both of them operated on ti be able to get around normally again. All together they quoted me on $8,000-$10,000 for everything. Since they're not doing both legs at once though it's still $4,000-$5,000 per operation and just a few months apart. But this isn't something we can put off and he needs this one way or another so that he doesn't somehow get worse and so he start getting around normally again.

Any traction for this would be appreciated, since the first operation one way or another is on the 23rd.

*We got a call on the morning of the 23rd. His doctor ended up feeling sick, so we had to reschedule. Now we're waiting for March 18th for his first operation.

So there are links to the gofundme and links to both of the twitter accounts to at least help spread it around.

https://twitter.com/Naki_Husky/stat.....13578265051137

https://twitter.com/mochalatte_dog/.....13681382006795

https://gofund.me/a718a342

Well, we've survived through these snow storms at least. Despite everything going on with Kiba it was nice to get some actual snow for a change. Aside from the fact that our sun room decided to leak like crazy again once it started to melt a bit. I know my uncle won't fix it, so I'll have to try sealing the roof or something once it starts getting warmer out again.

Work sucks, that hasn't changed at all. Tonight is inventory and we have to help the people doing it. Because they're always shitty at doing a good job and they're always super paranoid about letting them do their job, so we have to triple check everything and do half their job. Along with some entitled assholes came in to start shit with me

The important thing is everything with Kiba. We've managed to raise some money so far to help with everything. I'm still going to keep posting it off and on regardless. Probably up until he has his second operation a few months down the road.

One unfortunate thing happened yesterday. So today he was supposed to have his first operation, well that didn't happen. It also wasn't because of the snow that we had. So yesterday they called me at about 830 to verify everything. Sent me emails with the estimates in it, consent forms and figured we were good to go. Went into work and let them know everything was set for him. Literally right as I got out of the office I noticed his place, Skylos, called and left a voicemail. I figured I filled something in wrong and I needed to send them another email. Yeah, that wasn't the case. Turns out right after I talked to someone they got a call from her doctor, she had to stay home since she wasn't feeling well. They suspect it might be covid, but they're hoping that isn't the case. So now we have to wait until March 18th for his first procedure. Unless something ends up opening up sooner. We're not terribly upset about everything, in part because we're managing well enough with him and he's not degrading. Plus, especially if the doctor has covid, I honestly just hope she's going to be alright. So until then we just have to keep doing what we've been doing and keep and eye on him.

Which leads to the other thing that will still be going on this week. Some people have known about this and I've been planning this for at least six months now. On Thursday we are adding a new addition. I will be bringing home a little husky puppy. Like I said this is something that I had been planning on for the past 6 months now. So it's something that doesn't take away from any funds from Kiba or anything that's been going on with him. Since the new one has been paid for and I've had money set aside from him. Either way I talked with Kep, because I got to the point where I wanted to cancel getting him and get some of my money back to help put towards everything with Kiba, But we're still going to go through with it. Besides it wouldn't end up being a whole lot extra anyways.

So yeah, things aren't going to be as crazy as we thought it was going to be, but we're still going a lot going on one way or another.

Oh my god, this is the most hilarious thing I've heard recently. I actually had to do a double take on things to see if I was reading things right. And the fact that things pretty much reverted to how they were before.

Along with how FA wasn't supposed to be taking donations anymore now, but instead people are to be goaded into purchasing a subscription service now. And if you end up buying into that, I don't care who you are, you're an idiot....and looking into it more now, because I thought it was something else, I forgot that it's been a thing for almost a year now. So yeah, either way, you're an idiot if you're throwing money at the site.

This site has always been a nightmare and is only as popular as it is because it's been around for so long and is so large, not because it's run well. Far as I ever saw things never improved while it was owned by imvu and now that 'neer owns it again, things will just be shit once again. He's never been trustworthy and never had anyone's best interests in mind. I've seen countless times where lies were thrown about or people weren't helped because someone popular was involved. I mean hell, look at some of the people that have been on the main admin list for years.

I'm just almost speechless over this. I think also from the stupidity of buying back the site either way. Because it could have even been sold to someone originally that would have done things better, but no.

If imvu owning the site wasn't the beginning of the end, then this surely is.

Well, this went about as shitty as I was figuring it would and then some.

So back towards the end of November Kiba randomly started to limp a little. I have no idea what he would have done and it would have been at least a little while after he had gone walked around by the lake. So I don't know if he somehow did something then or even if it was during that big snow storm that we had. Either way it kept looking like he just did something stupid and minorly hurt it and I was waiting until he had his yearly checkup here in two weeks if it hadn't gone away yet.

Well about two days ago he up and looked like he got worse and then yesterday he did not want to eat for us at all, which he could be stubborn, but not usually that bad. And then this morning he was still acting pretty bad and after he peed outside he really did not want to go anywhere else. So I quickly tried calling to get him into the vet. I looked into a place that was closer to where we, but of course since we haven't been there before I couldn't get in. Luckily we were at least able to get into his usual place, even if it was a bit of a drive.

So once we got done with that, going off of what they told me and I remember, he has a tare in his back right leg and a partial tare in his back left leg. I just have no idea what the hell he would have done to cause all of this. So they put him on some pain meds and referred me to a specialist to get him looked at. What frustrates me the most at this point is that I can't get him in to have the specialist see him until the end of February. So I just have to really hope that someone cancels their appointment to try and get him in sooner.

And to add to that my work is being extremely shitty with me about any of it. Mind you this is a company that's supposed to care about animals. They gave me attitude when I told them what was going on, since I didn't know all the information. And, "I'd better not schedule things for when I'm working." Because god forbid I need to take care of something in my life and not just focus on work.

The only good thing that may happen is this should theoretically be covered by his health insurance. So if that's the case then I don't have to worry about things as much financially. But I'm still going to have to worry about it either way. Because I don't know how this is going to end up going either way.

I just know Kep and I are trying not to freak out as best we can. It's been pretty much off and on crying. In part because Kiba keeps crying off and on. Whether or not it's from him hurting and just him crying because he can and he's still a young dog. And also because we can't really do anything else from him. Let alone I'm worried about getting him out to go to the bathroom and everything and especially getting him to eat still.

This is pretty much a vent thing, because honestly I know pretty much no one cares one way or the other.

But I'm just so tired of everything anymore, my life, my work, the people around me. The only person that keeps me barely grounded is Kep. I had three days off in a row for a change this week, but have to work six straight, so it's almost a moot point. But only a few minutes into work I just wanted to curl up into a corner and cry. But I just internalized things like I've been doing, felt like shit and kept going. Because talking to the people I work with doesn't produce any results. The idiot in charge of this company like to keep touting how the company has been seeing growth despite everything and doing so well. But despite that everyone is still treated like crap. No worthwhile raises or just general livable wage increases. Apparently all these shitty bonuses of $25 were all we needed to keep going through the pandemic. But I just don't know what to do anymore. I have more knowledge and experience than most of the people in this company, especially the idiots in corporate, but I know if I speak up for myself and others I'll just get jumped on. Because that's what they do for anyone that brings up complaints. So I'm just stuck and it pisses me off so much.

The other bit still centers around the people that I thought were friends and hell, even this fandom as usual.

I've tried so damn hard in some way, shape or form to try and meet other people and make new friends and it's literally impossible anymore. I honestly don't know what I can do anymore other than act like a lot of other people and just be creepy or something or just really try and force myself onto other like I've seen so many others do, but I know I wouldn't do that. I think the other thing that just irritates me anymore is I'll come across someone else that I may have known before or talked to before and they have their skeletons in the closet or are shitty in their own way or just do things to get attention or become popular and yet they have all these people saying how great they are and thankful they met them and blah blah blah. There's still even the usual bull crap where people just want to talk to someone else because they're popular, but I know that's how this fandom is no matter what someone may say about it. So of course a lot of this also comes down to me and I just start shitting on myself more and more. I don't deserve to have friends I'm to shitty to have friends, I deserve to be miserable. Because as some people know, despite me saying something crappy about someone else, I'm the first to say how much of a piece of shit I am. And I've tried being or acting different, but what's the point if no one is going to give a shit and care anyways?

I mean I'm still extremely bitter some of the people I used to be, what I thought, were close friends with. Some of them I even considered to be pretty much family. But after what happened a few years back, things quickly changed. It was when a lot of my bad luck/bad things started happening. Especially after my dog died and I needed someone else outside of Kep to talk to and help me and no one was there. No one gave me reasons as to why they didn't talk to me anymore, no one would actually tell if they just didn't like me or give me any reasons. The few times I got reasons were, "Oh I'm busy with work" or "I'm just busy I can't reply" but it always just seemed like a bullshit excuse to me. I mean granted I didn't always expect a whole day of texting, but don't reply to me with a quick response to shut me up or an emote just to send something. The big part was figuring out that if I stopped starting contact with people first, then I didn't hear from anyone, nothing. The rare occasions when I did it was either because someone wanted something or the texting would just last a handful of texts or end up turning into quick replies, so I'd just stop. It's the main thing I'm jealous of Kep for, because even if some of the people get annoying that he talks to, he at least has other people that seem to care enough to talk to him.

I just really don't know what to do anymore, I'm just so spent. Even on days where I feel like I actually get some kind of sleep I still feel like shit. There's a lot of days anymore I just feel like walking death. I've even told a few people at this point that if I had a gun I'd just shoot myself. Because it wouldn't matter and people wouldn't miss me and anyone that said they did would just be lying. Because they probably didn't care enough while I was alive help. I just can't do it to Kep, that's really all there is to it.

But either way I don't know how much longer I can keep going on with all of this. I really don't. I'm so tired of seeing how bullshit things are and then being treated even more like shit by those around me, "friends", coworkers, customers, everyone. People wonder why people end up as bitter, shitty, hateful individuals. This is how it happens.

Well, I've been waiting for this to happen for a while now. Kep and I have slowly noticed that if something's going on or if we need something done our group usually doesn't help or just ignores us. During the dry spell of the game we were supposed to be helping each other complete things that needed completed still. Hell I told them I just needed a few trials wins for a triumph and they didn't pay me any mind, but some of them did it this weekend.

So yeah, fuck it. Guess until then I'll do what I always did before and just do everything on my own. Granted I'll have Kep, but at the same time he still needs to purchase the dlc. Which I'll probably end up doing here since he won't be able to himself.

Well this is going to be a big cluster fuck and all over the place.

So for the latest thing, a few months back Kep injured his left knee. He fell off a step stool at work and hurt his ankle, knee and hip. And because of all of that he's been off work now, but about 3 months. His ankle and hip are all cleared up, but his knee has been giving him problems this whole time. We've gone to multiple doctors, which has been a pain either way since it's under workmans comp, but we're hoping to find a solution today...though now that we're back from that it's at least better than it was. Now it's just a matter of working with it still and hoping it stays better either way. I guess only time will tell at this point.

Work very quickly went back to being a pain in the ass. Was off for a little bit more than a week, which was at least night not having to deal with people for at least a while. I just remember when taking a vacation meant something and I felt better from it for at least a little while. Now the first day I go back I'm already feeling cruddy. I think a lot of it is just this area and how people tend to be. Along with just being really sick of customer service at this point. Though all the covid crap doesn't help still and just adds to the problems one way or another. I've been with this company now for 8 and a half years and I can't see myself going anywhere. Even if they like to promote diversity and helping people shine. It's just all bullshit they like to promote to all the brainwashed idiots that will believe it. Just like how they made it sound like some amazing thing that they were giving us a raise after all, a whole. 2.25 percent. And yet people will be grateful for it just because they're getting something more.

There's not much else to report other than that unfortunately. Otherwise things just have been going on as usual. Only other new thing is sometime in the future we may end up getting a husky puppy. But that probably won't be for a while either way. In part because of Kep's knee and because I'm looking into a place I found that is a registered husky breeder that is near where I got my guy years back. So we'll see what happens with all of that.

Shit, it's almost been two months since I last posted anything. Though with how life is that's not really a surprise anymore. Hell even more so now it feels like all I can do is live till the next time I have off work or even more so the next time I have vacation.

Mostly just been trying to fill that time by playing Destiny or something else on xbox. Still looking for more people to play with or to just try and meet in general. I just still ask you tell me who you are on here so I don't just ignore the random invite: naki husky. Because hell with it being summer here I don't go outside much either way. Which is at least one semi good thing. The lock down really hasn't effected me going out and doing anything. Plus with how Kep hurt his leg we can't really go out much as it is. Aside from shopping.

But despite how much I kind of hate myself still for it, I went and made a freaking twitter account https://twitter.com/Naki_Husky

Mostly been reposting art on there, along with other things. That and it's been easier to throw some kind of update or notification or random vent. So yeah follow me on there if you want.

Which it's kind of funny to a degree though. I don't know why, but it just reminds me of how I don't talk to anyone anymore. Hell 100 percent of anyone I've even attempted to reach out to to try and become friends with have just brick walled me. Almost seems like everyone has their little groups and they're content with staying in it. There's even a few people that I've known one way or another for a while now and I try to talk to them and it just feels like they're too busy to talk or just don't want me talking to them anymore, but won't say anything otherwise. I don't know, I've just always been bad to a degree on reading people and always assumed I'm too shitty for people to want to talk/keep talking to me. But yeah these are the places my mind goes when I have too much time to think. Though on the other end of the spectrum I've had way too many instances where I've met new people and because of how this fandom tends to be they either end up being creepy or try to get between us and Kep. So a lot of times it almost ends up being better to just keep to myself.

But yeah either way, work still being shit and time flying by. Wasting time on xbox. Twitter account just because and me bitching.

I mean should we really be surprised at this point? Working during this whole pandemic hasn't helped at all. Sadly I tried to be the "good guy" and keep working the whole time. Despite me getting to the point multiple times where I wanted to just put myself on leave because of stress. I haven't gone to the doctors for it, but I'm pretty sure I developed at least some stage of hypertension. Mostly figure that because at least twice now, about a month apart, I had instances where my left eye would sting and bleed a little. Though it didn't help with people being stupid and the company barely doing anything at all to help people during all of this. They didn't give anyone hazard pay, hell we're not getting our shitty raises. All they did was give us a "thank you" bonus for working during all of this. Which with taxes taken out was only like $75 for me, but the store managers got $500 before taxes.

I just can't stand everyone people so stupid still about everything going on. I try to keep as safe as possible, because I don't need to get sick and possibly die for this company and because people are idiots and don't care about others being safe.

One thing that did help during everything was one of the problem managers were furloughed not long after everything started. She was being a real ass during the beginning of it. If we weren't running around working as hard as possible she would start yelling at us. Well she's finally back and this has been her first week back. With my schedule being extremely shitty and weird I haven't had to deal with her yet, until today. I had not been punched in for a minute and she was already giving me attitude. Apparently there was a customer needing help and instead of going, "hey, when you're settled in there's someone out here that needs help." It was pretty much demanding me to go out there now because there's someone that needs help. Mind you this is the same one that gave me shit around Christmas for wanting to call off for my mental health.

The sad fact of the matter is I'm in a bit of a limbo again. I can go to HR and try to get something done about her. Which that won't happen because they're a bunch of shits that wouldn't even help me years back with some of my problems. Along with they'd be able to figure out it was me that reported her and I know things would get a lot more rough at the store then. Because lets face it, even though they have, "zero tolerance when it comes to harassment and bullying now" they'd sooner get rid of me than her. So I feel like I have to bide my time at this point and try to figure out some sort of plan that'll end up getting rid of her or somehow putting the fear of god in her, like she'll loose her job, if she doesn't shape up.

As far as all the idiots coming into work, the only thing I can hope for with that at this point is they get sick and I never hear from them again.

Problems? Frustrations? Whatever you want to call them at this point. I knew this was bound to happen at this point though, because I don't have any patience for people being stupid now.

But at least once a day at this point we will tend to have people come into our store and not want to wear a mask. Even though the company wants to, "keep it's employees as safe as possible" they "can't enforce people to not wear a mask if they don't want to" or some bs like that. Well the customers don't know that and it's also based off of what the state says. I don't remember if anything has changed, but it was required to wear one going into stores. Even if a lot of places don't seem to enforce it, which causes problems with those that don't.

Well some jackass came in again, yes again, he was in sometime last week or so without a mask and was difficult and left, and didn't have one again. Well I just don't have any patience for them and whatever stupid reason or excuse they have for not wanting to wear one. Yes I'm sure there are plenty of people that have actual reasons or difficulty wearing them and then these idiots just ruin it for them. Again the people in my area are not the brightest and just like to not follow rules and cause problems. Hell two other people at my work have conditions that can make it hard for them to wear a mask, but they still do.

But this guy tried playing the "medical condition" card. I know he's full of shit because he never said anything about it before when I told him he needed a mask. He just kept going off about how I can't ask him about his condition and this and that and blahblahblah. Yeah I didn't ask about whatever his "condition" is I kept asking him for a doctors note that said he does not have to wear a mask. Hell there are children that listen to this whole rule a lot better than most adults. But he just kept trying to argue with me about it and threatened to call some number or something if I kept asking him to wear a mask or something.

At that point I just told him to go up front and I'll get his crickets. Mind you he's one of the idiots I deal with that needs crickets put into two different bags because god forbid he just separate them at home. And I was shaking at this point. I'm tired, I'm very frustrated and I don't have time for someones stupid bullshit. I don't remember exactly what I had said, but when I went up front I told him something along the lines of if he wants to be difficult then he can go to Petsmart and get supplies. Because he doesn't care about keeping all of us safer and respecting our rules. Because he can't keep a mask on for 3 minutes. Because that was a lot of his "problem" is that having a mask on "isn't going to do anything to keep anyone safe."

Because I'm really not worked up over loosing one idiot customer, especially one that's just there to cause problems and buy crickets. We're supposed to be "heroes" too and all that other crap, but again we're not. We just get treated like even more crap in all of this and get used and abused more. So again, don't be difficult with the people that are out working and just follow the damn rules, it's not that hard.

So this is one of those rare instances where I will say there will be some spoilers in the reading. So if you haven't finished the game yet or whatever, just don't read past this.



So obviously I'm a fan of the original. It was one of those games that I latched onto. In part because I had watched several friends play it when it first came out and it was just one of the first games I got on the Playstation. So when it was announced years ago that they were going to remake the game I was excited and at the same time worried/skeptical. Mostly because they would try making it more modern and I was just worried about how much and what they'd try changing in the game.

Well for one thing the game does look very nice. Granted if you compare it to the original there's a lot of games that look nice. Though the one thing that is weird is some things in some areas will look very nice, but then you get up to them and they look horrible. A lot of the flowers in the game for instance look horrible and it really bothers me that they put such detail into so many other things, but not into things like that.

Also I pretty much instantly put the game into Japanese. ^^; Granted I was going off of things like Advent Children and such, but still I figured I'd enjoy it more in Japanese. I have been watching/listening to Kep play it in English and it's ok, but I still don't like the English voice actors for it.

As far as the story, I was alright with like 99 percent of it or so. I think it was pretty much once I started getting to the end of the game that I started having issues. Yeah I knew things were going to be different one way or another. I did enjoy how they expanded the story more and give some of the characters more life. But I am on the fence with how they ended this game. Because from what my brother told me they're trying to do an alternate timeline thing or something like that. And some people are theorizing that the original FF7 was just a dream to Aerith and this is reality and she's trying to change it. Hence the spirit things or whatever they called him appearing. I don't know, that's just what my brother told me. I did pitch a fit at the end of it when they show Zack and Cloud and Zack was a live. Along with I also don't know if I agree with them having you fight Sephiroth already. In the original he was always just there and you kind of knew who he was, what he could do and how powerful he was. So I always thought it was better that he was just present and never really interacted that much. Along with them doing his whole wing thing in this. Though I guess they did show it in Crisis Core if I remember right.

Though of course the one thing I really bitched a lot about was how you couldn't control Nanaki at all. I heard from some people and I think even the developers that it's because he joined so late in this game. But at the same time he still fights alongside you and everything and there was still enough game after freeing him, but I guess it is what it is.

I think the main thing I still have issues with either way is that they decided to make it episodic. Hell when I first heard about that I was a bit pissed. Because really all it seems to me is that they're trying to milk this thing as much as they can. Along with from what I've heard about the director they could end up making it 5 or more games long. I really can't see them making it longer than three. The next would end when Aerith dies and then the third would be what's left of the game. But I guess we'll see what happens when it actually comes to that point.

All in all I'm fairly happy with the remake or whatever you actually want to call it. Like I said I do really question some of their story decisions, considering a lot of people that played the original are probably playing this, but maybe it'll play out in the end, who knows.

Right now it just feels like beating a dead horse, but that tends to be how it is with most retail jobs unfortunately. Heard through a random tweet that our ceo is all upset or whatever about the news posts that have been put out about the company recently. So I downloaded our work app again just to read through it and it was pretty much what I expected. And then the comments were everything I expected as well. Pretty much everyone commenting is just saying thank you this thank you that and the very small handful of people that criticize, even the smallest thing get jumped on. Either other people commenting back and trying to change their minds or they get jumped on by people that have higher positions and, "contact me, I'll be calling you, I'll be getting a hold of you, you need to contact this person to talk about these issues." Granted even if it does sound like they're attempting to help, it comes off as very aggressive. Along with a lot of the people commenting and kissing ass are those in regular management positions or higher.

I really really really want to comment with something or another, but I know it won't help anything and it'll just create more of a headache for myself. I really want to comment and bring up how I was told my gm was on a conference call saying that stores that didn't order animals in got in trouble. How the breeders need to change how things are run if they have to euthanize animals because they don't have places to send them out to. That, not even pertaining to all of this, how many times me and others have broken down at the store and at home crying because of something that's happened at work. How I'm told I have to sell an animal and can't deny the person, even if I know they won't be taking care of it properly. How I feel like I can't get a higher position now because I'd be stretched that thinner than I am now. The list could go on and on and I'd probably just get told by people that I should find a new job then, that I should stop working there and this and that.

Yeah there's always going to be a good and a bad with every company, no matter what it is. But when one tries to play the game of, "everything's alright and we're doing everything we can" when you can't, then there's a problem. At least give me my bullshit upfront.