This is yet another thing that I really shouldn't be surprised about, but it's still funny either way. It's something that I really started noticing not only at my first job, but also every time I got stuck in a group project at school. It pretty much turned into if I wanted things done or even right I had to do it myself. Because other people would typically half ass what they were doing because they didn't want to do whatever it was or just didn't care enough to do it.

So of course me being how I've become and tend to be am left picking up the pieces. Which is something that's been really hard to fight against when it comes to work. Because for me it's very hard to find someone I can actually rely on to complete tasks. Though granted a lot of that also comes down to trust issues with me as well. Which is why it's so hard to care about some things when other people just don't give a crap themselves.

Though it's also why I have grown to like Mordin Solus from Mass Effect, especially his one line, "Had to be me. Someone might have gotten it wrong." So I tend to put a lot of burden onto myself for one thing or another, because I'd rather take on the responsibility of something to do it right and get it done then have someone else fuck it up. Of course the problem with that though is I'll be the first to admit that I'm far from perfect myself and have a tendency to screw up a lot as well. But at least then the only one to blame is myself. Which is also why it's been an interesting experience doing raids. Granted it's been much easier doing it with a set group, compared to doing it with random people all the time. But it also means I know how they tend to be/work, so I tend to cover multiple areas either way so things don't fall apart. Which in the long run with that just means I tend to stretch myself too thin and then end up screwing up myself in the end.

But like I said it's just funny how certain things will continue and follow you no matter how far you are in life. Granted inexperience I can understand, but that is only fixed by someone that cares enough to learn to fix it. Just not giving a crap and being stupid just needs a few smacks upside the back of the head.

And all I can think of is this....

Because shit I forgot just how bad it is arguing with people on this site and online in general. Even if they're the one that starts shit with you you're the one that's causing the problem. Though in this instance it did help to get some of my pent up irritation out of my system. Because I really needed to go off on one of these idiots for a change. It is great though when someone has crap on their page about hating rude/mean people and are against bullying, but then they flip out on others...because you know reasons. ^^; I'm just disappointed I wasn't able to screen shot all that crap since they decided to go and hide all their comments not long ago. Either way I'll just add another name to the long list of retards I've come across.

On another note here the dog finally got through the last of his antibiotics, which that slowly started becoming a whole thing. Towards the end of him taking them he really did not want to eat anything for his pills. Got to the point where it was really pissing me off because I didn't know what to do to help him or get him to eat anything. Was to the point where I was getting chuck or anything like that and trying to feed him a little at a time so he was at least getting something in his system and could take his pills. Luckily we were able to get through all of that with him and not just need to put some more weight back on him and get him to exercise more, which is still easier said than done, because he will still eat when he wants to eat and I have to watch taking him outside at this point because of how warm it gets. I figured either way I'll be calling the vet again seeing if they want to do a recheck on him since everything is done. Just partially hope they wouldn't have to take blood again from him since that was a bit of a pain the first time. One thing though, that I didn't think about originally, was I got some probiotics for him. Because I didn't think about it until we started looking up the side effects that it probably just destroyed his stomach. Which explained in part why he really didn't want to eat anything towards the end of it all. So I just need to be patient with him at this point, especially since it'll probably take a while for his stomach to get better. I'll still just probably give him beef or something to get him to eat his food a little more.

Or at least as much as I'm capable of.

Got two of the drawings I've been waiting on. Just need to post them at some point here. Ended up essentially canceling one I've been waiting on for almost 8 months at this point, because I don't like the situation anymore the longer I've waited on it. Really don't feel comfortable anymore when someone doesn't post an updated list of their commissions, they aren't being worked on consistently and more keep being taken. So I'm attempting to back out of it and get my money back at this point, which I figured either way is going to end up being much easier said then done.

As far as the dog situation goes he's thankfully been looking much better. At this point already I'd say he's looking around 75% more like himself compared to before. Don't know if it's mostly the painkillers, because I don't know how long it takes for the antibiotics to work, but at least something is working. He's been a lot more active and hasn't been limping since he went to the vet. Just have to make sure he's eating, either because he has lost a little weight, but also because he needs to eat something before he takes his pills. She even told me that I could just keep him on the painkillers if I wanted and if it does help that much. Since it's apparently a type that doesn't cause any problems like some of the others.

The whole car situation I've most or less come to a solution on that. People kept being difficult with me as far as trying to help me apply for a loan, but amazingly my uncle offered to pay for what I couldn't on a vehicle and I just add what I can each month to the rent till it's paid off. I figure at least this way I don't have to worry about any interest. So now I have a 02 Honda CRV. Kept looking at other vehicles, but that's what I kept going back to. In part because I wanted something larger than just a regular car. Along with my gut told me to just go with this one. It was in my price range and everything. Along with I usually regret it when I don't listen to my gut. Though now I just need to get rid of this Mercury Cougar. Either see if I can get someone to buy it for parts or just scrap the stupid thing.

Well for starters this has pretty much begun crunch time for things. So once these handful of drawings I've been waiting on are finished it's going to be a good while till I grab something else again. I've just been needing something for myself as lot late so everything isn't just complete crap. x.x

But yesterday they gave me some mild painkillers to see if they will help and took some blood to run tests on it to see if it shows anything. Well this is one of those instances where I don't know if I'm glad that I'm able to figure this stuff out on my own or not, but he did test positive for lyme disease. Which I figured at least I know what's been going on and it's at least somewhat treatable anymore. And luckily my one coworker is able to drive me back up later today to grab the meds for him.

Because of course the other issue is I think this car is pretty much fucked at this point. Either the transmission is going to die soon enough or as someone else suspects it may just need the filter and fluid changed with it. But if I'm able to find another vehicle at this point I'd rather not put anymore damn money into this car. So I'm hoping that I can somehow manage to find a vehicle this weekend when my brother comes over and before my week off is over. Of course that all depends on a bunch of variables as well. Don't have any credit, but if I can find something cheap enough that'll work at a car lot then he can at least cosign. But at the same time I'm being fairly particular as far as what I'm looking for, which isn't helping much. But I want something that's going to not need worked on all the time. Which from what I looked at anymore pretty much weeds out most american made vehicles anymore. So we'll see what happens as far as that goes. I just want all of it resolved now, because I"m tired of being stressed out about all of these things anymore. ^^; Even if I have to worry about a car payment for a while at least I won't have to worry about the actual vehicle itself. Plus I figured I may be able to reapply for food stamps then because of multiple reasons. Though I know it was a pain in the ass in the first place to attempt to apply for it so we'll see.

So there's a few people that know what's been going on with all of this, but I just figured I'd type it out here as well.

A few months back during that really cold spell we had here Naki, the dog, had been acting a little weird. Looked like he was having issues walking and standing a bit. Along with he'd started getting really stubborn when it came to sleeping and would wander around a lot instead of sleeping. Well I figured it was in part because of the cold and his age at this point with how it popped up so suddenly. Because at one point it kinda sorta did go away, but I was still worried about him either way.

Well I wanted to wait till it got warm to see if it was just the cold that was starting to get to him anymore. Well he'd get better and almost act normal for a while ago and then he'd relapse a bit again. Granted it hasn't been nearly as bad as it was during that cold week, but he's still acting a bit off. So all together his appetite has been a little off, but he'll eat as long as I add something to it, been a bit more lethargic, his nose has been dripping a good bit more and he will limp from time to time as well. But the limping is probably in part because he's injured that leg a few times either jumping wrong or getting it caught on something.

At this point I just want to get some kind of answer from it all. I know the main thing I'm figuring on it being/am worried about is that he got lyme disease. Which I wouldn't be too terribly surprised about since ticks lately have been horrible and despite putting some preventative on him he'll still get them stuck on him.

Either way I just want to find something out so I can hopefully help him feel a bit better from whatever has been going on recently. Because it's been hard enough knowing that he's almost 14 at this point and I don't know how much longer I will have with him. Granted at this point I've been trying to prepare myself for when that does happen. But I know no matter how much I try to prepare for that happening I'll never be truly prepared for it. Which is why when it does happen I know it is going to break me and hard. But either way I figure I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Figured I'd post and share this on here as well. Took me a while to actually make myself make the video, but it was recorded back in December or whenever that was that they had that voidwalker glitch going on in the crucible.

So not really holding my breath on this for one reason or another, but I figured it was at least worth a shot. Been looking for more people to game with, in part because most of my normal group is fairly unreliable now or went over to just playing Fortnite. I just know I would end up getting frustrated with the game if I played it and there's no real point in it to me.

But I've mostly gone over to Destiny 2 again for a bit, but that may not last long because of this update not offering much again. Aside from wanting to go through the raid and lairs a bit again. Otherwise I've been doing some Monster Hunter World and jumping around to other games as well.

Either way if you're interested and want to add me on Xbox: Naki husky , just make sure if you do let me know who you are on fa. Otherwise I have a tendency to just ignore those adds and assume they're either bots or just random people.

Because in a lot of instances I just don't know how it feels anymore. Some of this I've discussed with my one coworker because he feels the same on a some of it. Because I pretty much feel that I have to keep myself in a shitty/uncaring mindset all the time, because if I don't I'll just feel even worse when something shitty happens, which is way too often. Which yesterday was a perfect example of that, I was having a good day for several reasons and then I found out Kep got fired from work and everything just went to shit after that. And at work I can't even escape it anymore. Granted you're going to have stupid/shitty customers anywhere, but it also doesn't help when the company doesn't support you with that because they're too worried about loosing one customer. For me it's worse when they don't want to care for an animal properly an I have to just do what they want anyways. Plus things took even more of a tailspin in a bitter/sweet decision. My department manager has been transferred out to another store by the district manager. I wanted her gone, because I got tired of not having a manger that will actually help me in the department, but now I have to completely pick all the slack up. It also doesn't help that our GM is a bully and instead of actually trying to be confident in the people working at the store she will just treat you like an idiot. That and because our store usually gets fairly good scores on things she's even more of an ass because she just cares about looking good. Though of course the incredibly stupid thing is despite me having to worry about a lot more and having an extra 40 hours to throw around now till we replace her they decided to give me shitty hours on my morning shifts so it's pretty much impossible. The main problem though is I have pretty much no option to try and get another job. Because I can barely stand people as it is and I at least get something out of this job, even if it's just slightly anymore.

I had told Kep the other day that honestly if I didn't have him I have no reason to live anymore. I'm just sick of being screwed with, being let down and having to deal with so much shit from one thing or another. Which is why with so many things I tend to be horribly bitter or negative. There's a song I like to listen to and at the end of the music video people go on to say, "life gets better" and my only response is, when? The only time that seems to happen is if you're extremely lucky or ignorant/blind enough to not see all the crap around you. Because you either get really lucky and things always go your way or you have a family that has a lot of money so you don't really have to worry about anything. Because lets face it, money does buy happiness. Because I'd be a lot happier not having to worry about things in that fashion. Which is why I have a tendency to be bitter towards people that have been lucky enough to pretty much get everything, especially if it's from pretty much nothing. Pieces of crap like Logan Paul and Pewdiepie that shouldn't have nearly as much as they have, but that's just how things somehow work.

At this point I'm pretty much waiting for some kind of miracle or something, I don't know. The handful of people I talk to again think I should try branching out and meeting new people, making new friends or whatever and that may help, but I doubt it. I had major trust issues and it's only gotten worse, plus I've never been good at meeting people and good ones at that. So I still find it easier to keep to myself and not cause myself anymore stress. Either way the only thing I can really do is keep trudging on and see what happens with things.

Despite the fact that it was still 40 this morning when I went into work. Though of course for me it getting warmer is always a double edged sword. Mostly in part because I'd rather deal with the cold. Despite it making the electric bill a lot higher. It also doesn't help that I already found 3 ticks crawling up my leg the other day after I got done picking some stuff up around the yard. Which made me instantly go and put some Advantix on the dog. The main thing I'm already not looking forward to doing fairly often again is mowing the lawn. If I had a much larger mower I wouldn't mind as much, but with the one we have it takes about an hour to mow around the house and the empty lot next door. Though the crazy old guy next door has already mowed his lawn twice in a week, along with he started before I did today and I still got done faster than him. Despite the fact that his lawn in much smaller then ours.

But yeah this summer should be interesting. Especially since it's pretty much taken till may to start feeling like spring. I'm almost expecting a week or so to go by and it'll be horribly hot already and humid.

This whole journal in part pertains to something else that was going on and how a lot of people were reacting to it.

But it's the whole bit that people were going on about is how they thought the fandom accepted everyone and didn't judge others by their kinks or whatever else. Yeah I've never seen that and never believed that. No matter what group you think you're part of there is always going to be issues. No matter how much you think you fit in. And for the people that believe in the 100 percent acceptance crap then you're a bit delusional. Personally I've typically been very judgemental of people and things that I see. It's just really funny seeing how some people react to some situations. Especially when it comes to someone popular and they have those blinders on because, "I like so and so's art and I don't care what they do because I like what they draw." I just tend to keep my mouth shut a lot of times, because people have a tendency to not want to hear an opinion other than what they may believe and you're even less likely to make them listen to an opinion other than their own. Though all of this also goes hand in hand in how people think this family is just one big family. The main time I see that crap up is typically when something is done to help out a popular person or someone that has connections to them. Any other time you're pretty much out of luck. People, at least those I've come across, have a strong tendency to not get involved and help someone unless they're pretty much pressured into it. And even then they seem to do as little as they can just to get that person to shut up. Hell I came across someone that was trying to say that the fandom saved their life. After watching the video I commented on how my experiences were about the opposite. Pretty much got the response of, "just fuck off then." Which is still just interesting. I'd figure I'd get some kind of conversation out of someone like that for one reason or another. But then when you just get shut down it pretty much just looks like either their story was a lie or they're just as bad as all those other people they dealt with through their life. Granted though I have a hard time either way reaching out to people anymore for one reason or another. Mostly because I feel bad or like I'm being a bother. In part because I've had people in the past reaching out constantly, but in the end they told me it was mostly for attention. So I mostly don't want to get anything back like that from anyone else, but not like it would matter anyways. ^^;

Anyways, back to the original purpose of this journal. Just because you belong to this fandom it doesn't make you special or anything. Just because you are interested in a kink or something like that it doesn't mean you can't be judged by someone. The quicker you lean that the quicker you can get your head out of your ass.

Because holy crap it's pretty much one thing or another anymore. Though it really looked like things ramped up a lot over the past year or so. It's pretty much to the point where there's a shooting somewhere involving one thing or another every week now. And of course they look for every kind of excuse as to why it's going on, other than because the world is just going to shit. I mean hell just go and sit outside of a buy store and watch people go by. You either get the pieces of crap that don't bother looking when they cross the street, as if they're just asking to be hit, and they don't even bother to hurry. On the other hand you get the people driving that won't even bother using their turn signals or stopping properly. And if you work in retail you probably see the biggest crap that people have to offer. I know at my work despite what they try to say everything revolved around bending backwards for customers and giving them what they want. Which again just turns most people into larger pieces of crap. Granted when it comes down to it I'm no angel, but I have more common sense then to go and shoot a place up or to go out of my way to be an ignorant fuck to people.

....you get to work and realize you only have a sip of Dayquil left.

I actually forgot that it was yesterday till I saw all the posts popping up about it. Though at the same time we typically don't do anything for the day anyways. I think the main time we did was the first time I visited him all those years ago.

Though the sadly funny part from yestery is we ate both sick. So we essentially did spend the day together, we just spent it feeling half head and coughing. ^^; I had started getting sick a few weeks back and then it hit me hard again for some reason yesterday. He had started feeling shitty this past weekend and it started to really get to him on tuesday. Well my shit isn't that terrible, mostly an annoying head cold, so I'm just dealing with it as best I can. He on the other hand I convinced to go to the doctors today since he's having some issues breathing. Turns out he has bronchitis, so he grabbed a few things from the store and we're both back home resting now. So hopefully all this crap gets cleared up quick enough since neither of us can really afford to call out of work.

Also it's really stupid that it's 68 out right now and I have the heat off and the windows open.

Kep got us both a copy of this game not long after it came out. In part because of what people were saying about the game and to try and get something else for the group to play together. I guess at least the good thing about it is you only need 4 people to have a max group. And at least 3 of our group has the game. So typically one way or another during our normal gaming times we can have a full group playing together.

But as far as the series goes I'm new to it. I've heard of them before, but I've never played them before. So this was something a bit different. At first I didn't think a lot of the combat system. The game itself looks really nice and everything is really detailed. I do wish more of the monsters were less like dinosaurs and dragons though, but eh. But yeah the combat system I just wish there was a bit more added to it. So far I've only used the heavy buster swords so I know the combat for that type is going to be a lot slower and heavier anyways. I just wish there was some kind of spell casting or something like that. But like I said I've gotten used to it the more I've played it. I just keep laughing at the fact that it feels like Dark Souls helped train me for this game. Because I have to keep an eye on my stamina and worry about dodge rolling attacks. Along with it does tend to help with some of them to stay as close as possible and right under their feet. And at least the grind with the game is at least rewarding, compared to what it's gotten to in Destiny.

But yeah hopefully this'll end up being fun to play for at least a good while here, even when the group isn't together to play it. Least till people try to drag themselves back to Destiny or something else. ^^;

I'm not getting ready to watch the super bowl. I still could care less about it, even if my state has a team playing in it. Would find it funny though if they won just to see the riots in Philly though.

So I am getting ready to cook up some salmon I got at the store and then will probably be jumping on to play Monster Hunter for a bit. Mostly need to relax still since I caught a head cold the other day and still have it a bit. Is pretty much the only reason why I'm not complaining about going home early. At least I don't have to worry about burning myself out completely for tomorrow now.

Just figured I should throw something out there one way or another. Especially for the mass upload spamming at times. ^^; Though I think I've pretty much gone through all of my old stuff, aside from a few random sketches I've gotten done that I probably won't bother posting either way. There's still at least a few of my own older drawings that I'll probably end up posting. Along with at least a handful of photos as well. I know I used to go around thanking people personally, but I know after a while people just started hating that sort of thing in general. Plus it was just too much of a cookie cutter thing.

Also as far as other updates...

One thing that hasn't seemed to really change much is my effect on other people. I've done the thing I didn't want to end up doing and reaching out to a handful of others that I used to talk to. For the most part that went about as well as I had expected it to and reminded me as to why I did things the way I did in the first place. Even less of those people actually tried to continue to contact me or even bothered contacting me back. The others I've gotten mixed feelings from and no definitive answers. Contacted those ones at least once or twice, but didn't end up getting a, "I want to talk to you again" or "stop talking to me response." So I pretty much took it as the latter.

The one thing though that I've never been very good at even more so than holding onto people I thought were friends is finding new ones. I've tried a handful of times to reach out to people and see if anything would happen from it, but unsurprisingly they were pretty much dead ends. Though again I've never been good at that sort of thing. Most of the people I did know I found because they started talking to me or because of the meets or something like that. That and I'm sadly almost always leery when it comes to people in this fandom, because of how people tend to be. Call me a pessimist or whatever else you want, but sometimes it's better to be safe then sorry.

As far as the whole car thing goes I'm still working on things. My brother said he'll at least help me with getting a loan. Because I've never needed any kind of credit card or anything like that and if I wanted something I always made sure I had the money to get it. Because there's no point in digging myself into a hole financially if I can avoid it at all costs. Which is why I keep gritting my teeth with having to take a loan out to get a new vehicle already. But I've already dumped too much money into the car I have now and there's pretty much no saving it at this point anyways. So I'd rather spend a little bit more on something half decent that I'm not going to have to keep fixing and throwing more money at. But I've mostly been looking into some kind of Honda or Nisan, possibly even some kind of Jeep. Though I'm torn between sticking with another car or getting some kind of SUV. As long as I can get one that has at least some kind of half decent mpg then I'll be happy. Plus I miss having a larger vehicle so people will stay off my ass more. ^^;

Aside from busting my ass at work and trying not to go crazy with the people in this area I've mostly been gaming in my free time as usual. Slowly ended up dropping off of Destiny, though I've been expecting that for a while now. Most of the group has abandoned the game and I did it to the point of maxing my characters out again. Sadly I've gone back to trying to go through Dark Souls 3 again with a new character. Though Kep picked up copies of the new Monster Hunter game for the both of us today, so we'll see how that all plays out.

And on a last random note I unfortunately have to go to a funeral tomorrow. The day after my birthday my grandmother died. She had been going downhill for a while now and it got really bad this past summer. So we'll be going to the funeral for her tomorrow. I'm still kind of just numb for that whole thing or at least more so then usual. I had been dreading this day for a long while now. Because she was pretty much the only person in my family that I didn't hold anything against and was pretty much one of those typical nice grandmothers. There's always the whole, "she's in a better place now" thing, but sadly I've never really believed in that. I guess the only thing that really matters in the end of all of it is that she believed she was going to a better place.

Started watching it today since I didn't know what else to put on and a friend at work suggested it as something good to watch. I'm only the second episode in and it doesn't look like a bad series, but at the same time I'm finding myself yelling at the tv every few minutes as well. It's like, oh cool bloody scene and such and then TITS! RANDOM SEX STUFF! MORE TITS! I just think it partially ruins a series when they just throw that kind of stuff in and in excessive amounts. Though granted I'm only two episodes in so maybe it'll get dialed back a bit as the series goes on.

So against my better judgement I'm going to start playing through Dark Souls 3 again. In part because I want to get back to Gael and help people with that fight again. That was one of the most satisfying things to do in this game for me. Unfortunately my main game character is leveled up just a bit too much and it's more then a pain in the ass with trying to help people with him. So I'm going to attempt to drag my ass through this game again just to get to him. ^^;

Seeing some of these random memes that tend to pop up with people. I mean granted I'm one of the first people that does stupid shit and says random crap, but some of the stuff that I see other people latch onto is just beyond my grasp. I haven't seen much of it in a good while, but I know one thing people were obsessed with was the whole nigel thornberry thing. I think in part because I had watched the show a lot it just makes no sense to me. Hell it makes even less sense to me with this whole, "I want to eat Tide Pods" crap. I figured it was just people being stupid, which it is either way, but seeing that it's also them partially being serious makes me want to just smack my head against the wall. Like...no I don't wonder what it would taste like because it's fucking cleaning chemicals and I'm not retarded. The few times I've used them I've never thought that. I mean I guess we'd at least be able to weed some people out of the gene pool if they did actually do it. >.> But I know it's just one of those things anymore. It just seems anymore that people have a tendency to latch onto the stupidest crap and run away with it. Though it's also one of those things that sadly just makes me feel old anymore. Because there's a lot of times where I'll see people typically 10 or so years younger than me obsessing over it. Though that just makes me roll my eyes and loose even more faith in humanity. ^^;

This is something that I seem to have to keep in mind with just about anything I try doing. Because in almost everything I do there almost always seems to be something that comes and bites me in the ass.

So the good news is that the car didn't really need much work done to get it to pass inspection or emissions. Though I need to give them another call and take it back in after the new year since they somehow forgot to fix the issue with the turn signals not responding.

The problem, which I should have been expecting, is that it will not pass emissions next year. I forget exactly what the issue is without looking at the papers, but whatever it is they don't make the part for it anymore and I doubt I'd actually be able find it somehow. The main other option is trying to find a replacement engine at a junk yard, but as they said it'll be expensive to install it and there's no way of knowing what other issues it may end up having.

The thing that pisses me off most about the whole situation is this is the car we got from Kep's parents only two years ago. At which point I dumped a good bit of money into it just to try and get it to pass inspection. We tried asking his parents for help, but we basically got , "they're lying about what needs done so we're not helping." It just ended up being the best solution rather than trying to get rid of the car right away as well and try to get something else. Plus I figured I'd get a lot more time out of this thing, but as I said that's apparently not the case with it.

The only good thing with it is they were able to get it to pass this year, but they've already let me know it won't next. So at this point I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Unless something incredibly lucky happens his parents will continue to be pricks and not help us out with all of this. So we're pretty much stuck figuring this out on our own. I don't have enough extra to throw at buying something outright. In part because of all the vet bills last year and all the work I've already put into this car. So I'll probably have to look into getting some sort of loan or something, again unless I get lucky and find something cheap enough that's not going to end up being complete crap. Either way it'll end up pretty much coming down to me almost completely cutting myself off from buying anything extra aside from the necessities to help pay for something else. Either way I have a year and that's a good bit of time for something to happen and to figure something out.



Though on another note Kep injured himself a few weeks back now. Was helping someone lift something at work and his wrist gave out. Which for those that don't know he severely screwed his wrist up around 6 or so years ago now. Broke it to the point where they have to go and put a metal plate in it. But because of the work thing here he's been dealing with some workmans comp crap. We're just hoping he didn't end up screwing it up more to the point where he may have to get operated on again, since he can't really afford for that to happen for one reason or another. But he went in for a CT scan yesterday and will end up finding the results for that next week when he goes for his followup appointment at one of the places. Either way he's been put on a mild painkiller, which is at least helping to a degree for the time being anyways.

So something that happened....shit two years ago at this point, I think, is my truck died. Don't know exactly what happened to it, pretty much drove it home from picking Kep up one night and the next morning it wouldn't start. Granted it probably didn't help that I somehow pretty much ran it dry as far as the oil goes. But at the same time I had an issue with it for a while where it was severely leaking antifreeze, so that was just becoming too much of a pain in the ass to keep filling it and it was going to cost a lot to fix it. The weird thing is that a couple months after it stopped working it randomly started up the one day. So I ended up driving it down to the main road and back to the house, but after I tried starting it up again it wouldn't go. It could have been something as simple as needing a new battery for it, but again there was so much wrong with it and it was killing me as far as gas went.

Well that's about when we got a lucky break and got screwed at the same time. Kep's parents went and drove all the way to PA to "visit" us. After all that was over we essentially inherited their 99 Mercury Cougar. Which ended up being the point where we figured we may as well just stick with this car instead of trying to figure something else out and find something else. We got all that settled fairly easily, but now I have to deal with it getting inspected in December. But the major issue with the car is it needed a lot of work for it to pass inspection. Of course his parents, mostly his dad, kept claiming that nothing was fine with the car and everything that needed fixed was just they lying to try and get more money from me. For a lot of instances I'd believe that, in part because of how I am, but I had been taking my truck there for a while and the place is pretty good. But I think it needed something like $2,000 or so work on it to get it safe to drive according to how PA was. A lot that was messed up with it too was either because the places his dad took it to didn't know what they were doing or Kep's brother messed it up the short while he owned it. And unsurprisingly they pretty much refused to help out with it at all, but again in their minds nothing was wrong with it and they refused to understand why the work needed done.

But so far this year has been far better then last year was. Well at least aside from work being crap as usual, but that's something to be expected and not really easily fixed. But I'm at that point again where I need to take the car in again in a few days to get it looked at. It's been acting a little weird with some things, but I don't know how much of that is just due to the cold. One thing is it's been annoyingly weird and the turn signals won't work properly. I keep having issues where it'll just stop blinking and then start again. Along with the engine being a little weird and revving at times when it shouldn't. I guess the only good thing is I try to expect to pay a bunch when I take the car in for inspection, which I'm not going to be surprised if it ends up being around $1,000 or so for some kind of work that needs done on it. But I figure that's better than expecting everything to be fine and then getting hit with all this work that needs done. But I know it helps that I've always had a older vehicle and have had to deal with this sort of thing for the past 7 years or so at least. Either way it's not any less of a pain in the ass. Which is why I just hope it doesn't end up being too bad and I can get it back fairly fast. Because I really don't look forward to having to bike into work while it's getting worked on. ^^; Though I'd only have to do that for at least a day. Since apparently the week of Christmas the shop I take it to will be close, but typically they will probably be nice enough again to let me take the car back so I'm not screwed over for that long and then drop it off again when they open back up.

So the other day I ended up going through and cleaning out a few things on this account since I've been needing to. Mostly cleaning out a lot of my block list, along with my watch list as well. I shouldn't be surprised at least with my block list anyways that a lot of the people I was clearing out that were problematic either abandoned their account or just disabled it. Which I sill ended up just taking the name off since it would still clean things up at least. My watch list on the other hand was a little more surprising. Though I think clearing that out was a little more surprising then anything. Probably because a lot of the people I still had on there I had been watching for years and had put out content for years. I think I cleared out a good 50 or so in the end. Granted I wasn't really paying attention to things on here for a while, but some people that I thought were still active hadn't posted anything for years. There's other ones that seemed to just slowly go away and haven't been active at all for at least a year or two. I guess it's mostly weird because I was used to seeing something posted by these people in some way shape or form while being in the fandom and now they're just gone. But I know being in this fandom, especially if you're trying to make a living in it, can be stressful and tiresome on a good day and everything in it isn't always fun. Which I've learned and seen multiple times over. There's some people that are still around, but they're just so dug in that pretty much no matter what happens they will still be around. It is kind of sad though seeing all the traditional artists either going away or going towards digital work. Which I can understand, it's cheaper and easier to fix and probably to complete. But it's just odd looking around and seeing people that have only been on the site for a year or two at this point and already have a substantial following, but you have no idea who they are. But that's also just me and how I don't keep an eye on other people unless I need to and how I usually just tend to not trust people anyways. Either way I'm sure I'll end up filling at least my watch list up again. Just not as much as I know some people tend to on here. ^^;