hey, so i just wanted to post a quick update for everyone

i haven't been around here in a long while

honestly don't know how often i'll be able to be around here

but if you'd like to catch up on my socials and all of my stuff i'm currently doing in life

check out my carrd here at this link
https://yeenbork.carrd.co/

at some point i plan to come back and clean up and reorganize my page as a lot of things have changed in my life and i'd love at least my FA to reflect that, even if i'm not here often

theres a lot of you i'd love to say hi to again, and i hope everyone is having a wonderful life, those of you who have moved on

love y'all, take care~

Hello everyone!
It’s been a busy while and life has been crazy, but I’m hanging in there and things are looking ever brighter
I got so much to cover in life, especially after my last update!

I know I keep coming back and disappearing, but if you want to keep in touch, I have discord, twitter and telegram!

If you need one of those just ask!


Also, odd place to put it, but

I’M GETTING A FURSUIT HEAD OF KYRA MADE!!!
BY GLITZY FOX, MY FAVE FURSUIT MAKER AAA

I’m so happy aaa!!!

Hek yeahhhhhh!

Anyways, life to get back to, will try and make a proper update when I get the chance~
I’d really like to come back and have more interaction here, but I’ve been able to stay sane doing a bunch other stuff in other places.

So I’ll see ya later! With more news next time!

Ever since I made Kyra, like, my life has just been invaded by pink. More specifically a black/pink combo invasion. It's outright taken over parts of my wardrobe. But I'm happy to feel comfortable in pink. Before I knew what trans was and what I was, I'd rather die than wear pink.

It's a comfortable color for me.

I'm happy I'm finally just coming into myself.
But damn I realized how much pink I have now.

I have another VRChat party tonight for those that might've seen my last journal!
If you'd like to come hang out, shoot me a message here or if you have my Twitter (@Reina_Storm92) you can DM me there and I can jump you in for VRChat!

I'd love to reconnect with a lot of people and this is a great way to just hang as if irl.
So feel free to jump on in with me! :3

So next weekend, I'd like to have a more organized party!
Like we find out who all wants to go and prep for it basically this week so it's not so impromptu!

(and also, i passed out wicked early last night by accident. I found my limit getting high lmao TwT )

So same time next Saturday, VRChat party. 10pm Central!

If you'd like an invite to the party, please message me or comment here and I can add you through Discord (my info is Reina Storm#1382 if you want to add me now) and we can get things set up!

I'd love to have a good party again, cuz apparently after I passed out, things got fun lol.

Anyways, I'll be around for those that want to chat up!
(and don't forget y'all can just message me to reconnect, I've missed y'all with me being away for so long!)

I meant to put a notice up yesterday, but I’ll be in VRChat tonight having fun and enjoying some time with friends. Anyone who would like to join is welcome to.

You can DM me here or go to my Twitter where I can get notifications lol and let me know.

It’ll be at 10pm central. So a little late, but come join and have fun.

Drinking and smoking during will be fine, as I’ll be taking a few edibles before hand to enjoy myself.

Anyways, I’m off to eat food before fun~

After so many years of fighting to get out of the awful south, I and my partner have moved away from Alabama. We've been best friends for 6 years and wanting to escape the south together (best friend plans before we got together) and finally got the opportunity to leave.

We have wound up in Denver, Colorado!!!
Yesterday was our first day here and it was so wonderful!
Getting to have a good day with a friend, eating good (not racist) food, and checking some places out (even some local head shops).

So many good things have begun for me and my partner.

I will do my best to be more active here when I can as I get settled!
If any of y'all are CO furries, Maybe we can do a meetup or something. That would be super cool!

Anyways, I'll be around. My previous journal has some contact info if you'd like to get in touch with me later. I'm off to get more settled in!

So I want to start off by saying SORRY FOR SAYING I'M BACK SO MANY TIMES AND NOT ACTUALLY BEING BACK!!!!

TwT

There's been so much that's happened in my life and shit goes down and then things get better and then things get worse again so I have a roller coaster of a life and I hate it lmaoooooo

So let me say that I'm in a better place mentally than I was a year/2 years ago, but ended up in a bad place physically.

Back in September 2020 I got kicked out of my mother's house (the night of my birthday, kinda fucked). My stepdad was trying to charge me $250 a week to live there (I ain't paying their house mortgage, fuck them) so I left. (things got harder and for them when I left cuz I helped take care of a lot around there)
I lived with my grandfather who didn't think his daughter (my mom) made a good choice, so he let me live with him so I could save money to get my own place.
That month, some old gaming friends invited me to a Discord server to hang and play games (Among Us was the go-to for a while lmao)

I made some wonderful new friends in there and reconnected with some old ones.

In January, with some of those friends, I started a Dungeons & Dragons campaign with me as the DM, and we've been having so much fun! I've established a really good set of close friends.

Last June, I started dating someone for the first time in 8 years. I've known him since 2016 and we've been best friends playing Halo 5, Monster Hunter, and Destiny together.
It started with us and 12 other friends setting up a vacation together in OKC. We airbnb'd a house for July. Simmons was basically setting up to ask me out on a date in OKC, but some personal stuff happened and he ended up asking me sooner.
July was an amazing month! A lot happened, and the vacation was fantastic. Date night was great for us, even did a double date with some friends who were already together on another day at a lovely LGBT cafe!

On the way home from vacay, (I had to drop Sims at his house. I drove to him, different state, picked him up, then drove the rest of the way taking turns), we both had a kinda breakdown. Had to stop somewhere and cry it all out.

So for a lot of people who might not know, I am trans. Been on HRT since October 2016. I have not been out irl. This vacation was the first time I ever got to be out as ME since starting HRT.
The breakdown I had was super hard. I had been out for a weekend with people who knew and accepted me, and I didn't want to go home and have to go back into hiding. Sims didn't want to see me leave and have to go back into hiding either since he knew I was trans since we met. So he called his mother and talked with her about me moving in. (Sims is close with his family and lives with his mom and sister to help take care of them). She said yes, she already liked me.
We made plans to basically move me to him. In August, I made a massive change in my life. I had an official name change, I am actually Reina Storm in real life!!!
I packed up all my stuff and made a move!
I spent a few days hanging with friends one last time, and my sister too. Sims came up and they all got to meet him.
On my last day there, I did something I wanted to put off doing for a bit. I came out to my mother. It didn't go well. (It was honestly hard to hide damn near C-cup tits for so long, and I was glad to be free of doing that at least...)
I introduced her to my partner Sims, and she didn't take that well either.

After a rather short talk, she basically drove off to go somewhere, crying. I tried to be honest and kind, but she is hardcore christian and republican, believes the conspiracy stuff, etc etc. (I will not open this can of worms here), so she didn't like that I was different than some little twisted vision she had of me.

After she drove off, I said bye to my siblings (who are supportive) and left for a new place.

I've been living happily with Sims, aka  PonchoMist, since August as myself happily out.

Our life here has not been the best, but we've been taking care of each other.
Jobs here where he lives are hard to come by. I've been out of a job since November (thankfully on unemployment to keep bills paid) and no one here is hiring. For context, we live in a small town in Alabama. (and before anyone says things about Alabama boys, he's from New York, his mom, aunt and grandma moved with his siblings down here to escape abuse).

We're trying to move to OKC since we have some great friends there, and the way we both felt in the city just gave us "we can live life wonderfully here" vibes.

At some point, we will be where we'd like to be, but that will take just a little more time.



And here at the end, I would like to apologize to everyone for having been away, saying I'm back, then disappearing again. I've had a hard life as said above^, but I'm not here for the sobs.

I want to say thanks to those I made friends with that I still have contact with.

And for those that would like to keep contact with me where I'm actually active, you can find me in many places!

Twitter is a daily thing! I'm pretty much always around on there. Find me at @Reina_Storm92
Discord is an easy way to get in touch with me too, I do a lot on there: Reina Storm#1382

You can find me on Telegram too, although not asssss active, I will get notifs and can respond fast: ReinaStorm

I have also moved to PC Gaming a lot, so I am on steam as well, if someone would like to play games or something, just message me on one of the sites easiest to contact me on. I love playing with friends!
Also, I love to hang on VRChat as well (I don't have VR yet, that's in the hopefully-near-future)!



One last thing, kind of a weird side mention: I have started an actual play D&D podcast with a wonderful group of people this year to have some fun and I would like to share it with y'all in case you'd like to have a listen~
You can follow the twitter: @RichorDiceTryin
and the podcast site you can listen in is: Get Rich or Dice Tryin' on Anchor.fm


Anyways, I have a lot to do and be busy with! I love you all and hope y'all have been doing wonderful! My dm's are open for those who would love to reconnect, cuz i certainly would~
So in my last few words for now, TTYL you lovelies!! I'll try to be around a little more, no promises on consistency here though <3

I wanted to write up a quick journal.

I have been away from FA for some time and I do want to apologize to everyone. Life has been a nightmare for me and I'm working on making things better.

I will still mostly be away. This is just an update to say "Hey, I'm still alive!"

Once again, I do apologize for being away so long, but I must return to the realms from which my qualms bid me displeasure. Life don't stop for no fox.

TTYL

Hi everyone. Thanks you in advance for taking the time to read this.
I apologize if this ends up extremely long. I'm gonna try and cover as much as I can, but this will be proly a couple years worth of typing.


So let's start with a little bit of my early life.

I grew up feeling that life would help you into anywhere you wanted to go. Seeing as how I'm now 25 and still stuck doing bullshit, I think life lied to me. If I could sue, I would. FALSE ADVERTISEMENT!!!


Music was a big part of my life early on. It helped me cope with feelings and thoughts. I didn't have the greatest childhood.
My parents divorced before I was 10. Ever since then it was kinda a down hill road it felt. I have a few memories of when I was young, but most of it is gone. It hurts a little. I'm not really all too sure how I coped with life, but I did.
Then around 14 I picked up guitar. My favorite band was (and still is Metallica) and I wanted so bad to emulate them. I wanted to be so good at guitar that I could play with them one day on stage. Crazy dream from someone so small. I practiced for years but never got anywhere as good as I'd like to have.
I think my gaming distraction (addiction, really) kinda kept me from being as good as I wanted to be. Honestly, my childhood wasn't fun and games were an escape to a place where I could be "someone". I wish I could go back and fix things. But that isn't how life works...

Music helped me with thoughts and helped me learn some things, but games provided an escape when things were bad (and they got bad quite often).

I lost my grandmother in April of 2007 to ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) and it devastated me and my whole family. She was literally the glue to entire family. The family may speak to each other still, but the togetherness just isn't there anymore like it used to be.
She pushed me to be better every day. She was my reason for moving forward. Once I lost her, I lost pretty much all of my motivation.

I don't think I've ever cried that hard in my entire life at her funeral. (I want to tear up now thinking about it...)

Life moves on and we have to learn to move forward without those we care for we've lost on the way. It's the hardest thing to do...

Maybe that's a little bit of why I stayed in games instead of music, because games made me forget while music just made me remember.

Time rolls forward and here I am today at 25 years old. I still wish she was around. I probably wouldn't be here if she was. I'd probably be wherever I wanted to be. Where I still want to be.

In 2013, I had my own place. Friends lived there too and we all had a blast. There were good times more than bad times, but bad was very bad... I had a Thrash Metal band I played lead guitar in. We were good, wanted to be better. We wanted the world, but not our drummer. Drummer was the reason we failed. We couldn't find another anywhere near. We all kinda gave up hope.

I stopped playing as often. It bummed me out. We kicked him out, but things just went south fast from there.
I moved and kinda became quiet, not wanting to talk or do much with anyone. I became a shut-in and just stayed at home and didn't want to see people. Life became very lonely. I'm still lonely even after having all of my close friends back in my life. My heart aches and wants what I missed and I can't get it back.

In 2016, I finally decided to go to college. I felt my music career dream was long since dead and so I decided to start my follow up dream of being a game developer. As school went on, I slowly reconnected with friends and I've since enjoyed every minute of being with them (although I still feel very much alone).

College went by and here I am 2 years later. I graduated with the Magna Cum Laude honors from Chattanooga State Community College on May 6th with a Computer Animation degree. Just about everyone of my friends showed up except the ones that couldn't make it. It made me happy. My family also showed up and for the first time since before my parents divorced, my mom and dad's side of the family got along and didn't fight at all. It made me happy to see them at the very least tolerate each other for a day.

Now I'm in the process of picking up pieces of my life and putting them where I need to. My biggest dream is to still be a musician that plays in front of lots of people. I don't even need the money. I just want the joy of seeing people enjoy something I wrote, that I play. There isn't a feeling like it anywhere else in the world except on the stage. I have a degree now and finding a job for it isn't easy. It's a competitive field. But I'm working on it.


There is also something I have been hiding from everyone, not sure if I should tell, but I want to because I've gotten to that stage of being open about life.

Growing up I had feelings that I didn't feel were normal so I kept them hidden. I felt I was the only one in the world to feel it, but now I see that people like me are everywhere.

I was born a boy. Around 2012, when I first came to FA, after doing some research on my feelings I grew up with, I discovered the term transgender. I have fought my mind to this day deciding on what to do.
In October 2016 I went to Planned Parenthood, who offers LGBT services, and got started on MtF Hormone Replacement Therapy. I've been living a "double life" since 2012 and it hasn't been easy. I've been afraid. Afraid I'd lose the people I've grown close to on here. I told a few of my friends I see every day in 2013 and have been trying to be a little more open about life since, but it has really been hard.

It wasn't until about the end of last year that I've been able to be open about my life. I've bottled so much in that it was hurting more and more to keep it in. I've told select people I meet about it, but so far everyone has seemed supportive of me. I even made a few good friends doing that. It makes me feel I can keep pressing on.

I wanted to tell people on FA for a while, but haven't had the courage to do so. I hope that I don't lose anyone I care about, because I love you all. This fandom has helped me a lot with life.

I hope everyone can forgive me for hiding this for so long.

And although I've been on HRT for almost 2 years, I feel as if I should stop. I've lived such a double life that it has come back to bite. I've built a life as male while building myself as female online for so long that I'm not sure which path to follow anymore.

I honestly wish I could just split into 2 people.

I haven't told my family because my family are very much traditional in pretty much a lot. My mom wants me to have kids (even though I have told her a million times that I don't want any and will never have one and I will not change my mind), my grandfather on mom's side is a bit (a lot) racist and sexist, my dad loves his first born son (me) and I don't think I could kill that image, my dad's parents are traditionalists and are very much so stuck in the old ways of life, and they are all Christian with a firm belief that the Bible is THE ONLY way to live.


I hate it. I hate every. Damn. Second of knowing this. It hurts because I know the moment I tell my family I'm trans, I will lose it all. And I have no where to go afterwards. I would be homeless if I tell so I hide it from them. And it hurts so much because I don't want to lose them. Maybe it's greedy or selfish, but I cherish those I've come to love. My family may not be the best, and I may be the black sheep of the family, but I do still love them. I was always a very emotionally strong person growing up. I feel so much. And sometimes I feel other people's pain. I can't even begin to imagine the pain I would feel.


Around mid-April, this pain I feel almost killed me. I went down by the train tracks that run through my stomping grounds and waited. Waited for about an hour on a train. I post on my facebook "goodbye" and left my phone and pocket contents in my car. I tried to get in front of the train, but it had just rained the day before and there was a small marsh-y patch between where I parked and the tracks and I didn't make it in time. I missed the train and death said not today.

It still hurts to think back on how close I was to ending it. I was very close. I just went back to my car and cried for hours. Several people were blowing up my facebook and phone and I didn't know what to do. I hurt inside and wanted to end it.



My life has been a nightmare for years and I push through it to see the light of day.
I still sort of struggle to get up each day, but I do.

My life from now on is one that I hope to forge the right way so that in the end, when I'm on my actual death bed I can look back and say that I was happy... Am Happy...

For now, I will push forward and greet each day as a gift.


To everyone who reads this through entirely, thank you. This was not easy to type.
I'm sure I will wake up and think of something I should have put, but this is a complete thought (and probably the most I've typed in a long while.)
So thank you.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for being friends.

Thank you for caring.

Hey everyone, long time no speak!

I wanted to give a major heads up that I will be doing a full page update later tonight to include some new info and just as a rebranding of who I am totally.

I want everyone to know I will be back around more often. (This time I really do mean it!)
I will let everyone know of new ways to get in touch with me too.

For now I must finish my shift at work! (It was dead, figured I would make a drop in and let everyone know!)

Peace till later!

College has kept me slammed as hell. Life is a bitch yo.

I wanted everyone to know I’m still around. Just barely. It’s a little annoying the way things keep happening.

Every time I post a journal saying “I’ll be around more often”, shit hits the fan then I’m gone for months.

LIFE

anyways, I’m working on fixing things.

If you want to keep up with me follow me on social media!
That’s the better way to stay in touch. Seriously. I don’t post here often usually cuz I end up forgetting FA exists for a while.

Twitter: twitter.com/reina_storm92

Facebook: facebook.com/ReinaStorm1992

Instagram: http://instagram.com/reinastorm92



I will post more at some point in the near future (hopefully) about things.

Also, I’m locked out of Skype. If you’ve been trying to hail my frequency on there, I can’t respond. My skype is done. It’s broken 100% and Skype won’t do anything about it so yeah.

Anyways. Peace I’ll next time!

I'll be detailing some things in an upcoming journal either today or tomorrow.
Journal will have all the plugs and stuff to find me all over social media.
Will also have some info on streams and future interactions!

See you VERY soon!

Hey everyone.

Sorry for my disappearance.

I've been busy as shit. Life has had my on my toes 24/7.
I'm currently working on getting a few things set up for the future here in the next couple weeks.

Here is some little bits of info I will share for now (I'll be back at a later date and will fully explain everything then)...

I'm on my last semester of college! Here comes all the advanced stuff and fun and joy of building out a portfolio!
After May, I'll be an official Computer Animator. Complete with a degree!
Whoopie!

Also, next bit of news, I'm moving out of my mother's house in February!
It's about time! Life got a little easier for me here recently, but I need my own space, (and away from the constant fighting and yelling between my little siblings, twins both 13 in 4 days).
I'll have my own bedroom again, finally. Haven't had my own bedroom since I got moved into the den so my little brother could have his own bedroom (twins shared a room till last year...)

I'll be moving in with a classmate. It'll be nice! We're good friends.

And lastly, once I get all set up at my new place, I'll be setting up my computer and consoles to do some streaming!
Complete with voice chat from the fox. I'm gonna do game streams (on a schedule that I'll set up once classes start).
I'll also do some streams of me working on class work and 3D modeling in general, so everyone can see what it's like to work on the stuff!


OH, btw if anyone has me added on skype, please note that I am currently locked out of my account. For good. Idk how I did it, but I permanently deleted the email I used to sign in to the skype and I can't log into it since it was tied to the email.
I'm not sure why skype is dumb like that, but I'll be setting up a new one for everyone to add me too.
I'm also on Discord, Facebook, Twitter, and (rarely) Instagram.

Once I'm all set up in my new place, I'll be working on making all of my social media into a place you can contact me and check out my game/modeling streams.


Anyways, for now...

PEACE OUT Y'ALL!!!
SEE YA SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Hai gais!

Reina here, wanted to stop in and say hi since I've been absent for a good while. Lots of shit happens after the Metallica concert in July...

I had a severe depression bout where I almost did THE no-no. (Suicide is never the answer.)
Things have been hectic at home.
Life has been insane.

College classes started back this past week. It's cool. Hate my English class that's required. How to write essays... Ugh.
I failed all of my essays in high school. I can do just about anything else, but I just can't do essays. Ever...
Joy.

Anyways.

I'm 25 today. Huzzah!

I won't be around much until things with classes get sorted out and stuff, but I'll do my best to be around more.
I know I make that promise every couple months, but hek, ima do mah best this time!

For now, PEACE!

Sorry I haven't posted much in the past month.
Things have been chaotic.

Tomorrow, I leave for Atlanta, GA. I'll be down there for the Metallica Worldwired Tour featuring Volbeat and Avenged Sevenfold.
Gonna be a hell of a show Sunday.

Saturday, we (as in me and a couple friends who are going to the show too) are going to Six Flags for a while.

Sunday is the show!
Can't wait!!!

I'll do a proper update on me after I get back.

If you'd like to check out the things I'm doing and stuff, I have an Instagram.

Follow "ReinaStorm92". Icon is previous FA icon.

For now, peace out!
Off to pack and sleep!

I GOT IT!!! AFTER 10 YEARS OF WANTING ONE, I FINALLY HAVE ONE IN MY NAME!!!
JOYOUS DAY!

I HAVE DROVE ALL DAY CUZ MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN WANTING TO SEE IT AND IT'S A 5-SPEED AND I CAN SUCCESSFULLY DRIVE STICK (GOTTA WORK A LITTLE ON THAT INITIAL TAKEOFF) BUT EVERYTHING IS GRAND!!!

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I'M SO HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Bring on the hot cars and the sweet babes!
This fox is ready!

Ok...
Serious time.

lol
ok, not so serious, but serious enough.

I've spoke with my insurance company about my car (the one I spoke about in my most previous journal, the one I wrecked).
I get $2300 out of the car!
That's what I paid for it! It's like I've been driving it for free lol

I'm happy.
Means...

I can get the car I want.

also...

I'M NOT AT 100% FAULT FOR THE WHOLE WRECK!!!

The guy in the front had stopped, and the guy in the middle was following too closely, and when first guy stopped, middle guy hit the first guy!
So when he hit, it seemed like they had stopped, so as I was trying to slow down, I hit water/brakes not working or whatever happened, and bamn! I hit the middle dude in the back.
Middle guy lied about not hitting the first dude.
Tried to get me to pay for it. HAHAHAHA not happening.

Insurance spoke to the front guy. He said he felt 2 impacts. One from the middle guy hitting him, (which was a light hit and wouldn't have caused more than a simple fender bender) and he went to pull over to the parking lot so they could talk and then BAMN I slid into the back, and ended up sandwiching the middle dudes car.

It ultimately ended up between them 2 and I am responsible for my own car!!!
My insurance paid for my car only, and won't pay for middle dudes car.
He's shit out of luck.
That's what you get for lying.


So, I've spent the past couple days hunting my dream car.
A Toyota Celica.
I'll have one Tuesday.

I'LL HAVE ONE TUESDAY!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I'VE WANTED ONE OF THESE CARS SINCE I WAS FRIGGIN LIKE 14!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S A GUARANTEE!!! AND FOR ONLY $2000
HOLY FUCKIHNG YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I can't fucking believe it.
Like, this is my midlife crisis!!!

I'm gonna go and friggin be ecstatic and ready to explode the rest of this bit until I get my car and even afterwards!!!

Just wanted to update everyone on the situation!
Thank you all for still caring and such. TTYL

*speeds off*

...and I have no idea where I'm going with this.

Hi, welcome back to my page. This time for a neat little wild journal I like to call...

What happened to Reina recently

First off, let us start in May.

I finished my first year of College! Huzzah!
I know basic 3D modeling using Maya, ZBrush, and Photoshop to create some basic models (that I have no idea what to do with at the moment lol, but I can model!)

I am set up almost for next year (aside form 2 classes I need).
2 of my classes, for some reason, won't let me take them.
It all has to do with that crap that happened during my first semester.
Level Design is one, which requires the Intro to Computer Animation class to have been taken. That is the class I got screwed out of during my first semester because no one told me about it.
Speech is my other class I'll be taking (yet can't get into), but this one idk why.
Speech has no prerequisites, but it won't let me sign up for it for some reason, so I'm really not all sure why I can't take it.

I'm working with my advisor to figure this out. We have top wait until the lady who can do overrides for classes is back from recovery after her surgery she had right towards the beginning of April (I think.. Maybe middle, idk...)
Anyways... Moving on.

I did get 2 new arts!
If you didn't see them, check them out after (or during, you're grown ups, right? make your own choices) this journal.
If you did, enjoy more. lol

Life at home has been kinda rough since I got out of college for the summer.

I've been hunting a home for a while, but every time I find a nice, decent place to rent for cheap (that isn't an apartment or duplex) it gets bought. I mean literally bought. Instead of leased out, it's sold. Bamn, gone. It's like, well fuck...

I started hunting a new car, too. Different car, not brand new. (This comes in important here shortly)

May has been on and off at work. I've been working more hours (which is fine, I need the money) but my home life has been awful. I get home, and after cleaning up after drunks, kids, methheads, whatever, that come in to my gas station and make a mess, I have to come home to a house (that is not owned or paid for by me in any way, people) of 2 full grown adults (who DO pay for the house) and 2 ungrateful little shithead kids who all wreck the house and then expect me to clean up after them like I was the only one that made a mess.

Yes... I literally make a huge mess and wreck the house... Remotely... While I'm at work... Somehow... I'm a with and didn't even know it.
Whatever.
So, I'm trying to save money. I took a good step forward and (using a really good paycheck from work that I will proly never see anything close to that again) bought an actual phone.
I have a phone people.
But...

It's not on.
I bought the phone to get ready to turn it. I still don't have just enough to turn it on yet.
(broke ass fox that barely makes $150 a week cuz I have a shit car, that again comes into play shortly)

All month long though, I'm being berated and belittled by both my mom and stepdad.
All because I "do nothing around the house" still...
so...

Saturday, this past Saturday.
I wake up.
Cry.
Fall asleep.
Wake up, cry and lay in bed.
Did nothing all day.
Didn't even eat.
Only got up to use bathroom.
Bed.
Sleep.
Got up and went to car.
Cried in car.
Slept in car.
Woke up.
Considered suicide to end this pain and depression.
Came back in.
Bed.
Slept.
This was from midnight Saturday until sometime in the a.m. Sunday when I finally fell asleep.

(I do apologize about the suicide thing. I don't want to play it off as some small thing, cuz it's a serious issue. There was a lot on my mind and everything was hitting me at once, and I just wanted to shut it off. But I want to move on.)

Sunday I wake up.
I go to Walmart and spend a few bucks on some small foods.
Bought a steak cuz I wanted to make Steak and Eggs, also bought some hashbrowns.
made a nice brunch.
Was genuinely feeling alright.

Spent the morning looking for a new car and a place to live.

Here I am preparing to get out on my own, find a place, move, be happy, do things I want to do, not what my mom wants me to do, and...

Next day.

I wreck my car

June 5th
Rest in Peace, my '03 Nissan Altima.
I took care of you, replaced your oil every 3-5000 miles, got you new brakes and tires, replaced your alternator and got a brand new battery, kept full coverage on you, and loved you (even if I did get mad every once in a while at you for messing up again).

Rain, mother nature did me in.

Some idiot slammed on his brakes IN THE RAIN and cause a guy in front of me to slam on his brakes IN THE RAIN.
So as I'm slowing down already, I try to stop a little quicker and I hear something click and my foot hits the floor.

"Shit."

I hit the dude in front of me, who barely managed to stop less than 6 inches from hitting the guy in front of him, and I cause his car to one-inch-punch the other guy's car.
Totaled my and the middle dude's car. Front car guy, literally drove into a parking lot next to where the wreck happened.
His reason to the cops (when they got there) was he "just wanted to get out of the way of traffic."

My and the middle's car was going nowhere.
Dude.
Wat.

Anyways
What's funny, is we passed an entrance/exit to our local hospital. Getting ready to pull out to go on route (drive around the area, pretty much) was an Ambulance. lol
Right when he pulled out behind me, I hit the dude. They just flipped their lights on and radioed the police. lol again, the irony

He comes out to check on me, I'm uninjured and so are the other 2 guys btw, and he was laughing.
We cut up a second about how perfect timing that was before he went on to check on everyone else.
(Don't forget, I work the only 24/7 gas station in this little town, so I knew him and at least 2 of the 3 cops that showed up. One was a county turned city cop, cuz city gets paid more to cover less ground. Yeah idk either.)
Well, middle dude was mad cuz he said he just finished paying off the car. It was old. The guy was heading in to work at Walmart, the only other 24/7 store in this little town. No worries about expensive shit. The front guy's car was old too.
He only had Liability insurance.
I was only shaken up cuz i'm 24 and have never been in a wreck before. Achievement unlocked: First Wreck!
I do have full coverage though.

"do you have insurance??"
Yeah, full coverage. it's ok.
"yeah, well I only have liability. so I hope you know you're going to pay for this shit."

The guy was mad, I totally get it. You finish paying off a car and stupid shit happens. It's raining, the idiot in front of you slams on his brakes for whatever reason (will explain him in a minute) and you just had it totaled in a less than 30 mph fender-bender.
I was calm, I just didn't want Mr. Angery to hit me. I seriously had that feeling from him, mainly cuz he slammed his clenched fists onto his car hood when I went to check and see if he was ok. Needless to say I stayed away from him. He did calm down when his girlfriend (who also worked at Walmart) came to check on him.
Cops and his gf managed to calm him down. Enough, anyways.

Ok, so back to the front guy.
He was on sometin.
He told the cops he just got out of DUI classes (so was proly driving on a revoked/suspended license) and/or was drunk or high/out of his mind at the moment.
I've never heard someone talk slower than a 1960's hippie on some serious LSD, but man did this guy have such sloooooooooooooooooooow speech.

Well, he tries to lie his way into getting, I guess, some free medical care (but that wasn't going to happen).
He said he was a little injured, maybe his back. (Lies for the most part, everyone may have a little whiplash, but that was no train wreck.)
The Ambulance crew checks him out, I can't hear cuz I'm not close enough, but I do wander closer without being obvious.
At one point I guess he says something about broke ribs.
And this was the conversation between him and a paramedic:
(read from the first and every other line in a slow hippie stoner voice)

"I think I might have some broken ribs"
"Do you need to go to the emergency room?"
"Nah, just treat me here"
"well we don't have an x-ray out here."
"oh."
"so no broke ribs?"
"well no, but I think I punctured a lung"
"sir, if you punctured a lung, you need to go to the emergency room"
"no, no, no..."
"and you wouldn't be standing here talking to us right now, nor would you have drove over there" (points to his car in parking lot)
"oh."
"do you need to go to the hospital?"
"no"
"ok, well we need to check on the others"
"o kay.."


Hilarious.

But I seriously think he was on some kind of something at that point.
No one I have ever known has ever talked like that even when they WERE on something hard, like LSD or some super strong weed.

I'm totally fine btw. My car isn't, but I'm fine.
Unscathed, unscratched.


So an hour after that, I had to go to work.
Luckily I literally walk to work. Not even a 10th of a mile, maybe less.
No worries lol.
But I can't drive to see my friends at the moment.
Sucks, but I'll get a better car.

Anyways, I called a friend (from house phone, new phone not set up yet) and talked for an hour.
We started talking and I realized that...

I was looking for a new car -> wrecked current car, have reason to get a new car
Am looking for a new job -> will need more money to afford better car, have reason to change jobs
Am looking to find a place -> will have better car and better job to afford said place

This was a negative event that has totally inspired positive future events.
Like, I'm not even mad that I just wrecked my only working vehicle.
I'm happy and sad in a wild way.

I do say that maybe this was my grandmother (rest her sweet soul), who passed on 10 years ago this past April due to ALS, telling me "I can help you this one time."
I think that wreck was destined.
I mean, I had plenty of opportunity to turn out from my road onto the main road, but I waited and got behind the one vehicle I hit.
I seriously think that was my grandmother saying "Keep following this path. I can give you a tiny boost."

I am by no means religious, but I do believe she is my guardian angel and is watching over me.


I am glad to say that while I have wrecked my car, live in an abusive household, and work a shit ass job...
I look forward to my future.
I am happy to say I will be following through now with all my plans, regardless of my mom.




Thank you for reading to the end of this (holy shit this is long) journal.
For now, I must be off.
To a far away place.
I call it...

My bed.


DUN

dun

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


lol, good mood
Anyways, ttyl fellow furries and trash pandas, scalies and booplesnoots

To dreamland, aWWWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYyyyyyyyyy..........

I'm back with another exciting journal!

I'm on my last week of school with Finals being next week.
Things are getting hectic lol.

Next semester is going to be a blast. (not..)
I have the fun classes. Level Design and 3D Tools II.
But I have to take English Composition...

and the dreaded Speech class...

I hate speech. I am not a fan of public speaking. Never have been.
Oh well. Apparently it's part of the degree. A Computer Animation degree. Public speaking. Idk

Anyways. I got a new icon! Super cute. Done by the sweet  Leongon

More art to come soon. A sweet piece it will be. Keep your eyes peeled.


I'm working on finding a good summer job so I can save a ton of money over the next couple months, through summer.
I may have found a work from home job through Amazon's "Work from Home" program. I'm about to apply.

I'm gonna need the money for the next bit.

I have found quite a few places I'm looking at, and the number of places keeps growing. Quite a few good places.
One of them, I just spoke with today, but the house is already under contract, so it's a no-go right now. But the lady said she'd let me know if anything fell through!
(I sorta hope so. The house was really really nice. In such a good place too.)


In the near future, once I'm in my own place, expect to see some cool things from me.
I plan to stream games, and art, and some 3D modeling too!
I'll show off some things I know while learning more about the programs!
Useful practice! Hurray!

For now, I'm off. Gotta finish some stuff for my classes and the finals prep I gotta do. Gonna be interesting last week and a half.

TTYL furryland, I'm off to continue chasing dreams!~

You, yes you.
Hi from a distant land.

I be here to say I'm doing ok.
In fact, I'm doing better than ok.

I'm doing super awesome.

Currently I'm looking at several places to move into. Super awesome.
Also, I may be getting some new art in the near future.

And I'm finishing up my first year in college this month! Woo-hoo!!

Also, my old band is working on getting back together.
Everyone is getting on the same page. It feels good!

My updates are sporadic at best and I do apologize for those that try to get in touch with me.
Once I have my own place, I'll be more active on here among other websites.

I've missed you gais!

I hope everyone has been awesome while I've been away!
TTYL

I've been so busy the past little while.
Time flies by. It sucks, and I never get the time to do a lot of what needs to be done.

College is going good. having fun in there.
Learning a lot of interesting things that'll help me in my goal to make games.

My old band is wanting to try and get back together again, and we're working it out.

Life has been rough for me.

I'll be around here where I can.
I'll also be updating my FA page details so keep an eye out on that.
For now, peace out!

So I've been working on some modeling in my college classes.
Our first 3D model was choice, so I chose Carbuncle from FFXV!

I'll post pictures when I get done!

I've been super busy these past few months. Always focusing on the future. Haven't had as much time as I'd like to have had, but I'm working on a lot.

Time is always moving forward, so I must stay on that path as well.
In that aspect, I am making a return to FA for good. I've been here for 4 years. It's been a blast.

I missed everyone and don't mean to worry anyone.

I'll try and post a little more often every couple days when I have the time.
Expect some neato things from me.
I'll be working on my school stuff and when I finish, I may post some of it here in my scraps for people to see.
I'm finally in the 3D modeling classes in college.
The future looks nice.

Well, I'm off ot do more stuff for my classes!

TTYL

It rocks SO HARD!!