GUESS WHAT!!!!!!

I'm doing like super great. Life has been going up since last week, and it just keeps getting better and better.

I'm going to be quick for the night, but expect this fox around a lot more often now!!!

TTYL!!!

I wanted to pop in and say hi to everyone.
I finally have a little bit of free time to myself this weekend. Fall break is on until Wednesday for college.

at some point, I'm going to try and go out and look at some places with a couple of good friends, and maybe find one we can look at renting out in the near future.

My home life has had me down, and I haven't really cared too much to get on FA, not out of not wanting to, but I stayed pretty, well... depressed here.
I hate using that word.
I hate acknowledging I have depression, but it's unfortunately part of me right now.
Often I go to bed crying (silently) or just in a terrible mood. I hate it.
And I can't really seek out local help because my mom is always in my fucking business and would find out and probably take me to one of her "doctors" and have them tell me some bullshit. My mom is a pretty messed up person.
And I hate to say that about my mother, but she is a terrible person.


I desperately need out of my house, so i'm going to be hunting one very soon, starting tomorrow.
The sooner I'm out of this nightmare house, the netter i'll be.

I barely have time at home for any of my own personal life, let alone anything I need to do to pass my college classes.
I'm still a fucking maid... No, let me rephrase that.

I'm still THE fucking maid. THE ONLY maid. Even though I have a 2 year younger sister, and two siblings, twins both 12, boy and girl, that require everything to be done for them because my mom is a bitch and doesn't actually make them do a damn thing. If the twins don't clean their rooms, my mom makes me or my sister. They don't ever clean up after themselves and whine whenever I or my sister ask them to do even a simple task like take a fucking dirty towel they just used to the damn laundry room.
But if they don't do it, it's my or my sister's fault even though neither of us are these little brats' (irresponsible) mother.

Because I end up having to do all of the chores, because my sister always stays gone to avoid having to be a maid (and I don't blame her, but I never have time nor the drive/desire to get out and stay gone all day), I never have time to do any of my fucking school work until the day before it's due, and this is like huge fucking projects and shit!!!

I'm constantly depressed, stressed, and always in a constant state of anxiety.
This is not a healthy way to live.

And I shit you not, I have seriously thought about just ending it on more than one recent occasion.

I know there are people out there who seriously have it way worse than I do, but I have a fucked up life.


If I had my own place, I wouldn't be stressed out. I wouldn't be depressed. I wouldn't be in a constant state of anxiety.
I've had my own place before, and NEVER was I suicidal. NEVER was I stressed about bills and NEVER was in any form of anxiety unless one of my dumbass (ex) friends came over and was strung out on coke doing stupid shit that got my house watched by the police!


this wasn't meant to turn into a rant journal.
But sometimes, I just need some place to let it out. even if literally zero people see this journal.
I hate going out anywhere and just ranting outloud. even if it was a super secluded place out in the middle of literally nowhere, i'd still be afraid someone heard me.
And I guess that because my mom has never been supportive of me in any way really, that I've grown to not want people to worry about me, because I fear people hating on me or something.

idk.

it wasn't until couple weeks ago that I found out what a narcissist was and realized that that is exactly what my mom is. And I hate it. she makes everything about her. she hates me wearing band tees everywhere, "because it looks bad on her" or whatever bullshit she decides to spill out her damn mouth... I hate sharing cool ideas with people outloud or going on and just fangirling about something really cool, because my mom, who I looked up to and always tried to impress by the things I liked, she never cared about and always said "i go into too much detail when talking about things, that I just need to get the point across or whatever" because I always feel like a burden to their ears.

I feel my presence is a burden. I feel like a burden just writing this journal out. I've become a fucked up young lady. I have mental problems galore and really think it would be better to just die.
Like, it's even fucked up I just typed that, but it's what I feel every day. And it's just awful. I feel like a burden, because that's the way I was treated growing up.

A child's early years are seriously very formative, even all the way into their late teens. And I don't think my mom will ever realize that she is a narcissist, nor will she ever realize just how fucked up of a mom she has been.



I'm going to get off here and end this journal. I'm already dripping tears on my keyboard.
i'll be back at some point when I decide to maybe do another life update. idk

I went off the grid today to enjoy my birthday with some good friends!

I'm back to make a quick post. Not many of you knew it was my birthday, but that's ok.
September 2nd is always my "off the grid, enjoy the time" day.

I would've made a post earlier to let everyone know, but I was running a little behind in getting to my one class for the day (I made it on time tho) so I was in a hurry.

And right after class I went to hang with friends and enjoy my day, which I did.
Any belated b-day wishes are much appreciated.

Also, I'll be around more often as time opens up for me.

I've been feeling a lot better. Getting out of the house (even to go to classes) has done me wonders on my mental health. My depression isn't as bad, and I've genuinely enjoyed things better.

I'm more willing to be less anti-social. lol


Anyways, I'm off to go do some things. I'll be around.

Keep an eye out for more fox appearances here on your local Fox News journals.
(terrible joke, I know)

TTYL

I've been crazy busy for a while.

I haven't really had time to do a check in with everyone, and I know all of you gais missed meh.

I'M IN COLLEGE!!!
I started Monday.

Sorry I didn't share this amazing milestone with you guys.
I've just been busy.

I've had a job for a couple months now, too. Just a simple gas station job, but it's money in my pocket.

I also don't have the privacy I used to have, so getting on FA is a challenge.
Last thing I need is my mom sending me off to some fucking looney bin cuz she thinks I like to fuck dogs or something cuz of all the stuff on FA.

I don't even get on facebook on my computer anymore unless I know for sure everyone is asleep.

I've also been dealing with some depression, too.
This house keeps me depressed because living here, I have no free will practically. It sucks.
So I spent all my time doing forge maps in Halo 5.
It's kept me from being severely depressed. Atleast I was not crying in a corner.

If you wanna see all the cool things I've made in forge (even if your not a Halo fan) you can go here to see them:
http://www.forgehub.com/members/reinastorm.83325/

Just click the "Maps" tab.


Anyways.

I'm going in to collegefor Game Art as my major.
I would've went in for Game Programming but I couldn't do some of the Game Art classes on the side.
With Game Art, I can still do most of the Game Programming classes on the side if I choose.

I'll be going for 2 years.
And during my last couple months, I'll be looking to start my own business, my own game company. Woot!

It's gonna be a load of crazy things moving forward from here.


I'm looking to move out of my house towards the end of this year.
I'm tired of this house, and tired of having to clean a house for a 40-something year old unappreciateive mother who apparently can't clean her own house or teach her almost 12 yr old children how to not mess up the fucking house.

I'm just going to let her deal with everything. I'm not helping anymore once I'm out.


Hopefuly soon, I can start doing some wonderful things for people.
Doodles and art and creative things I wouldn't normally be able to do.

And hopefully I can move out soon so I can have all the free time in the world and not have to do shit for my mom that she is perfectly capable of doing herself with all of the free time she has that she uses to sit on her ass.


Anyways, this isn't a rant journal about my mom.

I wanted to let you guys know I was ok, and that I haven't abandoned FA.
This place has become a home for me. I just needed a vacay to focus on life for a little while.
Now, I'm not guaranteeing I'll be around a shit ton more, but I will do my best to show up more often.

My depression will still affect me.
And I probably won't be free of its grip until I'm out of this house. ( which is hopefully soon...)


So for now, I'm off.
I'll do some more explaining once I have more free time. For now, I need to get to bed. I got one more class this week .

So TTYL uryone!!!

Much love to you all, and much apologies for being away for so long!

Tomorrow, when I get home, I will write a HUUUUUUUUGGGGGGEEEE journal about where I've been, what's been going on and all that jazz.

Some exciting stuff has been going on, so I got some happy news for everyone.

See you all tomorrow!

Hurro again.

I'm sorry I've been absent from FA for so long.
I've been busy.
And any time I want to get on here I always have shit to do.
And my free time I fill up and forget to check in on FA.

I'm sorry. It's been a good while.
I've faved some pictures in my time gone (because a friend links me some good ones every so often), and I gave em and go.
So it's not like I haven't visited.

I just haven't checked in in a while.


It'll be a little longer before you guys get a full update from me.
It'll be a lot to type and a lot to read.

I'll be back either tomorrow or some time this week to give a big ole rundown of what's been happening.

Until then, fox out.

Well, this will be as detailed as I feel like I have the time for.

I have been away.

Busy.

Very.

But things have been looking up.

I start college this fall. Finally!
Going in for Game Art. Gonna take some side classes where I can to help learn a little bit of everything when it comes to game design. Learn everything I can.
I'm eager to start.

Also, I finally got a new job.
At the gas station in front of my house. pretty decent job. Not hard.
I work evenings. My work days will shift, week by week. I may work Tuesday and Wednesday, then work Saturday through Monday, then that week work Thursday and Friday, and not go back till Tuesday. Not bad.

I've been doing some pretty neato things here in the meanwhile.
Making maps on Halo mostly.
I just finished a new one actually.
I'm going to work on some footage for it soon, then I'm gonna upload it to my YouTube channel.

I'm not on here as often as I should be, but things are pretty ok. No need to worry about me.
I'm not in a trouble spot now.
Just busy doing stuff more often.

Anyways.
I've got some more things to do today.
Video editing.
Concepting my next map for Halo 5.
Thinking about some other things.
just keeping myself busy.

No need in falling back into a depressive slump.
I stay busy, depression stays gone!

So ttyl everyone!
I'll be around.
You guys no where to find me.

I'll be posting an update journal tonight.
Got things to take care of first.

Be on the lookout though.

I've been busy the past couple weeks.

Expect a journal with details in the next couple days or so.

Ok, so...

I've been doing a lot of map making on Halo 5.
Just flat out having crazy fun.
Done a lot of remakes lol.
Originals will come... when I have run out of fun remakes lol.
I have a few originals though.

Anyways.

I make all kinds of maps.
I've remade some from old James Bond games.
I made a multiplayer map that was a remake of the Mausoleum of the Arbiter from Halo 2!
I remade Gridlock, Gears of Wars iconic mp map.

I've done a good chunk of work and had fun doing it.

But that's not even the crazy thing.

A lot of people have liked and downloaded my maps. Many have added me on Xbox and have even came and played with on my most recent custom game night.

But this is where it gets cool.

Somebody from 343i sent me a message.
FROM 343i!!!
Said he really liked my maps, that they were well made.
Said he was gonna show them to some other people and stuff!

MY maps.
MINE!

Like holy fuck!
DUDE!!!
I have no words to explain the excite when I saw the message!


If you want to see my Halo 5 maps, you can check out my ForgeHub page here:
http://www.forgehub.com/members/reinastorm.83325/


I'm gonna go continue to do what I had planned for the day, but I just had to say something.

SO MUCH EXCITE!!!

Well, after the hack attack by some dipshit that needs to go die in a hole somewhere, FA came back on temporarily.
During that time it was up again, I was starting to gather some info for a big journal, but shortly after, the admins placed FA in read-only mode due to passwords being taken as well.

I'm back in FA and I'm glad that things have been fixed.

Over the next few days, I'll be gathering some info for everyone.
Ways to contact me outside FA (if you don't already have them), some big info that was going to be in a journal a few days ago, along with some other things.

So be on the lookout!


I may or may not do nightly journals for the next few nights. I'll be doing some work on things until then.
If you see a nightly journal up, feel free to come see.

But big info will be coming in a few days!

A YOUTUBER WITH 52K SUBSCRIBERS WANTS TO FEATURE MY DAY ONE INFECTION MAP!!!

MY FUCKING MAP!!!

LIKE

WHAT DO I DO???

TOO MUCH EXCITE!!!

LIKE

FUCK

NEED CALM

BUT

CAN'T

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ForgeHub link:
http://www.forgehub.com/maps/day-one.2456/

Here is the map:








EDIT:
This is the channel of the guy who wants to feature my map!

So, here we are.
Sunday.
The weekend flew by.

Almost time for those of us with jobs (lucky you) to return to the daily routine.
And the rest of us continue that normal "I need a job" thing...

Ugh...

I'm still hoping this gas station job works out.
When I went to them Friday, they said that there was some issues with my and another person's applications.
Mine went MIA and the other guy's is all kinds of screwed up.
I'll be talking to them tomorrow about it, to see if they've figured out what happened.
They aren't sure what happened as far as I know. Their system just went screwy.
Me and some other guy (idk who) are supposed to be getting hired here soon.
Just whenever they can get our applications fixed.

Not too worried.


Tomorrow, I go back to the college. I've had my second shot I needed for school (fuck needles), so I can finally turn it the paperwork and stuff..
Also, I'll have to take a Compass Test to see if I need Gen Ed courses, because my ACT scores are "too old".
I'm gonna hate it. I hate tests.
I hate school because our education system in America is so fucked up.
But it's the only way I can get a degree to even go into the field I want to go into. (for those that don't know, it's Game Design)

Tomorrow is not going to be fun...


Friday night I hosted a Halo 5 Custom Games Night.
Thank you to everyone who joined!
It was a blast!
I'll try and host another one next weekend. I'll have more maps to play on, too.

Infection will be a big part of next weekend as well!


Back towards the beginning of May, I finished another Forge map.
It was a remake of part of Halo 2's campaign.
During the mission "Gravemind", you go to a room called "The Mausoleum of the Arbiter".
I spent several nights making it as close as Halo 5's Forge would let me. (and it came out VERY close)

I didn't want to do my normal "map tour" video I make when I finish a map.
I wanted a showcase of some battle footage.
So Friday night was my opportunity!

Thank you to  silverleaf455  artyom_derison  kenpatchi  Vix_Lyanti_Sparda for being in those matches!
The other players are not on FA.

Also, had to add the appropriate soundtrack!

So without further ado...

"The Mausoleum of the Arbiter"






That's it for today's update!

I'll be back later with a nightly journal.

TTYL my fuzzy buddies!

I have a doc appointment at 9:40am.
Almost forgot!!

I was just about to right the update journal when I remembered!

Anyways, I will be back on tomorrow, as soon as I can.

Well, it's back to the regime of nightly journals to spice up the night.

First up for order...

That one favorite food or dish!

Out of all the delicacies in the world, none have garnered my attention more than stuffing my face with sushi.

There are so many different kinds, it's glorious!

One day, I'll go to japan, and proly stuff my face at a sushi bar! XD


Well... this journal ended up being kinda short, but is a silly quick topic.
Anyways, be on the lookout for a big journal sometime in the next hour.

I talked with my mom (since she didn't know my stepdad was threatening to smash my Xbox).

I don't have an "official" bed time.
The 10pm bullshit was just my stepdad going overboard on it.

My mom just doesn't want me to be loud and just wants me to start getting off around 12-1am.

Here is what I told her:

All of my gaming friends I play with are usually on at night, my only time to play with them.
I don't usually get on games until around 6pm anyways. Sometimes before, sometimes after.
Most nights I'm quiet. Usually building maps on Halo or playing alone, which is where I'm quiet.
The only time I get loud (by mistake, and I try to watch my volume) is playing with my friend Brandon. We cut jokes and laugh and have a good time, I really don't mean to be loud.
I don't always stay up late playing. Some nights I get off early so I can get up early to take care of what I need to.

I told her how he wanted to smash my stuff, too.

She said she won't let him smash my stuff. (She understands what could happen with that.)
I don't have a strict bed time. She just wants me to be quiet at night and to be off before my stepdad gets up for work at 5:30am. She said preferably around 12-1am would be best.
And as long as I'm up and doing stuff around the house when it needs to be done and stuff, then she don't care that I'm on them after 10pm.



So things have finally been taken care of with this situation...
fucking thank gawd...

(Also, on a side note, it seems my mom acknowledges I do stuff around the house, and she's thankful for it, but my stepdad is the one who sees me being "lazy"...)


Well, I'm glad things have been finally figured out.
My mother has gained some of my respect back.
Stepdad, on the other hand, needs to get the stick out of his ass. Or whatever is up there...



As my final bid farewell for the night, I will leave everyone with some good news.

Tomorrow will be the official return of my Nightly Journals!
Now that this crap is over, I can get back to the silly, the serious, or the just plain 'What??" journals.

If anyone has a specific topic they'd like to see, note it to me or comment what you'd like to see fox's opinion/thoughts on.

He hasn't said anything to me in a while.

And I figured something out.

My mom knows nothing about it!

Well damn...
It seems HE wants to control me.

And what's funny is, regardless of how he goes about it, it WON'T happen.

He won't get my Xbox because if he does, my mom will find out, they'll fight over this, I'll get my Xbox back, end of story.
And if he takes and destroys it, I'll call the cops on him, possibly sue him, and also get a free replacement because it's under warranty.

I'll have a new Xbox, he'll be in jail, and also he'll have a possibility of owing me money in the end.
Or he can go on about his merry fucking way, leave me alone, and get a life besides trying to ruin someone else's, who is fucking trying to get her life back on track WITHOUT the constant threats.

OH FALL CAN'T COME ANY SOONER...........

FUCK.

THIS.

HOUSE.

"Running a little behind aren't we?"

On what?

"Do you want me to get a hammer?"

No.

"Then either unhook the damn thing or I'll yank it out and smash it."


He takes it. I'm calling the cops.
This day started off decent. Now it's already gone to hell.
Wow.

... nothing bad has happened. He hasn't done anything.

I go Friday morning to the doctor to get my last shot I need for school.
Then next Wednesday, I go to the school to turn in the paper and do the stupid compass test to find out if I need to take gen ed courses (which I won't even if "need" to. I'm not going to learn English to teach, I'm learning game design.)

Once I'm done with the compass test, I can figure out about Financial Aid.
And everything I get from my job is going into savings so I can move out when school starts in the fall.

Hopefully Summer comes and goes so I can get out of this hellhole.

After tomorrow, you guys may not see me on here, xbox, facebook, or anything for a bit.

My stepdad has taken it upon himself to threaten my stuff and me living here.

He still apparently wants me to follow the bullshit "10pm bedtime", and because I was still on Xbox at 10:22 (working on a map in Forge, which when I get in the zone, I don't pay attention to the time, nor should it matter...) he wants me to give him the Xbox tomorrow of he's gonna take and destroy it.

"Because he's tired of me being lazy and irresponsible, and that I need to get a job".

I'm still waiting to hear from the gas station. My background check is still in progress.
I go over there atleast once a day and ask about it.
It's not like I can just put in an application and out pops a job.

And apparently I have to pawn something of mine to get car insurance money for the month, which is $160 and I have less than $70 in my bank account.

I'm not going to give him my Xbox. It's not happening.
If he takes it, I'll call the cops on him for theft.
If he destroys it, I'll call the cops on him for destruction of property. Then I'll sue him for what I can get.

After calling the cops on him, I'll be homeless. It'll happen.

I'll figure out where to go afterwards, but I doubt tomorrow is going to be any good.

The only way it'll end peacefully is my mother stepping in, because as much of a bitch as she can be, she won't let him take and destroy my stuff outright.



What I find funny about this whole thing is that when I had a job, they never came to check on me if I was going to bed on time, or if I was getting up on time.
Now they want full control over my sleep schedule and for starters, that shit doesn't work like that.
They want me to keep a job but don't help me.
Now when I don't have a job, they want to make sure I abide by their sleep schedule.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

My fucking stepdad is a sockgargling cuntsore.
I dare him to break my shit.
He will rue the day.

I am in no mood to deal with that.


So as just a friendly reminder, if I go dark for a while, just know this is what has happened.

And if I get thrown out, as much as I love my family, I'm going "no contact" with my mom for a while if she just sits by and lets it happen.

This is why I hate it here. Because shit like this that is COMPLETELY UNECESSARY...

Well this weekend was a hoot (sarcasm).

Had to weedeat the yard. No fun.
Had to weedeat again today, but it was shit my stepdad could've gotten with the lawnmower when he mowed yesterday. "couldn't reach it" my ass...

Mother's Day wasn't bad like I thought it would be. Was just a normal day it seemed.
My mom wanted a gift from me, but i'm broke so she let it go. I don't even know what to get her for a gift anyways. She has just about 1 of everything. (She is a bit of a hoarder...)

But it went by, no problems.


Now to begin the good things.


First off, for all of you Halo fans.
Here is a trip down memory lane...

The Mausoleum of the Arbiter

A 2v2 map remake of that infamous area in Halo 2's Campaign, built in Halo 5's Forge!
Spent the weekend working on this beauty.


And to add to the greatness, I'm on ForgeHub now, too.
Where Forgers can share their creations with a lot of people.

http://www.forgehub.com/members/reinastorm.83325/

I've put up all of my completed maps. I'll be adding more in the future.
This will be the best place to see all of my maps, as I haven't made videos of all of them for my YouTube.


In other news, this weekend, I'm going to try and host a big Custom Games lobby on Halo 5.
I'm gonna try and bring in as many people as possible. I'm even going to post in the Halo Waypoint forums to grab as many as I can. I'll make a journal about it this week detailing what time and day it'll be.

I'm also gonna try and set up my internet to stream it. My internet doesn't like to allow online games and streaming at the same time.


Now to a few other things.

I'm still waiting to hear back from the gas station in front of my house about the job as of today.
Hopefully things work out.
It's all waiting on a background check, which those things take forever for some reason.


Next, this week, I go back to the doctor for my second shot that I need for school.
After I get the shot, I have to go take a compass test, to see what gen ed courses I need to take (cuz my ACT scores are too old apparently).
I swear, I won't go to the gen ed courses if I have to take them. I'm not going to learn gen ed, I'm going to learn game design.
After the compass test, I'll finally be able to figure out my Financial Aid situation, and if I'll even have enough money to go.
I just severely hope I don't need my moms info, cuz she still won't give it to me.
(She wants me to go to college, but won't help me with Financial Aid. such a hypocrite...)


Life has been up and down the past few days, and I'm sorry I bailed again.
Sometimes things become too much, and my only coping mechanism is to go silent for a tiny bit.

I know not everyone enjoys reading my rant journals.
It's hard to sit by and watch bad things happen to good people.

I love each and every one of you who pop up, even just a quick comment or a random note.
It's always appreciated.


Now...
I have a few things to take care of on Destiny before weekly reset tomorrow.
I'm going to go shoot aliens.

And if you play Halo 5, please, note me your gamertag or something.
I would love to grab all of my fuzzy buddies from FA to play customs with.

ESPECIALLY since Infection is just a week away.


Anyways, watch my journals for my "nightly journal" I'll be starting back up tonight.

Also, if anyone has any topics they'd like to see in one of my nightlies, please, let me know what you'd like to see.
I may be shy in reality, but I can be an open book behind the monitor. lol


Also, summer is just around the corner.
Be careful not to get sunburned!
Can't wait for the warm weather to really hit!

Anyways, TTYL my furry friends!

Had things to take care of.

Sunday is Mother's Day. Don't think I'll be on much.

Monday will be update.
Sorry for delay.
Also, nightly journals will resume Monday as well.

I will post an update on where I have been the past couple days.

Also, nightly journals will resume!

Just got threatened by my stepdad to be kicked out because I wasn't asleep.
Couldn't sleep.
I have trouble sleeping at night.
Was playing my 3DS and had a movie on. (I always have a movie on when I sleep. Only way I can fall asleep.)

He opened my door and said "What the fuck are you doing?" (Like he was checking to see if I was asleep)

I couldn't sleep. Laid in bed for a while. Just couldn't fall asleep.

"Well you either need to go to sleep at night like we tell you to or you can pack your shit and sleep in your car somewhere.
You don't need to sleep all day long and not do shit around here."



First, this "bed time" thing, it's just some bullshit rule for them to try and control something they don't like.

Second of all, I don't sleep all day. I get up around noon, between 12 and 1pm. That's not sleeping all day. That's sleeping the morning away.
I'm still hoping for a job here very soon.
I don't have errands to run, I'm broke.
What am I gonna do in the morning?
I keep the house clean.
It doesn't take an hour to do my "daily chores".


This house just stresses me out so much.
And it's all because they don't like how I am.
My mother says she loves me, yet judges me on everything I do. (Good fucking thing she don't know I'm a furry. She'd flip the fuck out.)
My stepdad is just a walking pissed off dip can. (Some days he seems nice, then one little tiny thing can set him off for no reason. Like me not being able to sleep at my "bed time", or not knowing someone threw a load of laundry in when the laundry hamper was empty and those were from somewhere outside of the hamper.)



It's ridiculous to sit and imagine what this house will end up like without me here.
My mom says the house already stressed her out when it gets even a tiny bit cluttered. (By junk she keeps buying to make the house "look pretty" when there isn't enough room for half the shit she gets...)

My mom is like a hoarder, but she just buys all kinds of shit she don't need.

She sits and watches that Hoarders show and tells me I need to just get rid of a lot of my old keepsakes and shit (which is old game memorabilia or band stuff. I have a lot of Metallica collectibles. A lot.), yet she goes out and buys more unnecessary stuff and days I'm the problem.

Wow. Good way to blame your child for something you do, mother.
If I get kicked out, then so be it.
I'm not going to help them anymore when it happens, cuz I feel it's going to happen.

And it makes me want to cry that I even just said that, but in the end, I'm going to have to do what's best for me, not someone else.

I hate this house so much.
My cuntsore of a stepdad is just getting worse on me.

I was playing games with a friend and one of his friends. Having a fun little time. I was quiet, too. Barely talking.

Stepdad bursts in my room out of nowhere.

"what fucking time is it?"

11 o'clock

"What time are you supposed to be in bed?"

10? Why do I still have a bedtime? I'm just playing with friends. Being quiet.

"Because you don't do shit around here. And I don't give a fuck if you're playing with friends. You got to fucking bed a 10. Do this shit again and the game is out of here, you got me?"


What. The. Fuck???

I did all of my "chores" today.
The house is fucking clean!
I do "what I'm supposed to" every fucking day!!
I'm not some obedient servant.


Fucking hate this oppressive house.
This is so much bullshit.

Once I get the next shot I gotta get for the school and get financial aid. I'm out of this house.

And I'm not coming back.