Saw an artist upload a picture celebrating their one year progress on transitioning, in particular the anniversary of being on hormones.
Then some asshat decides to comment HURR DURR YOU MEAN 1 YEAR SINCE YOU STARTED WRECKING YOUR BODY?
I wish I had a beam that could shoot him with that let him experience the years of discomfort and sadness someone with gender dysphoria goes through all in one instant
Maybe then he might have some empathy that he clearly lacks

Shinymoo, or her FA name mewlover187 is short on cash and is open for story commissions. If you want a good example of the kind of writing she can do for you, just check out this story I got from her a while back:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/21119842/

I've recently gotten a few questions/notes in regards to whether I charge for or offer story commissions. If you're reading this expecting me to start listing prices, sorry to disappoint but this journal is only to gauge interest in the possibility. It's true that I like to think of myself as a writer since I think I'm pretty damn good at it...I'm just not sure if talent would really carry me through doing them though. See I've got a bunch of other niggling doubts I'm gonna go through below, starting with:

I do not have any kind of diploma for or official history of awarded writing. It's like this big shadow hanging over my head screaming: you don't know shit about what you're doing. I know that it isn't entirely true, I know because I have taken the time to attend writing courses in community college. I've passed both of them, A grades nearly all around so I at least kind of know what I'm doing. I never graduated though, big surprise there. But I mean...this isn't the worst thing I have in my mind when it comes to reasons not to offer commissions.

I find it hard to even get in the mindset to write. The urge just comes and goes and I'm lucky if I can even write an entire page in a day. A good artist who offers commissions should be able to get them done timely. The shit I write for free oftentimes ends up abandoned or unfinished, hell there are like three stories that I technically 'owe' people that I'm still struggling to get done. Maybe the drive might get kicked into turbo when I have the looming threat of being seen as a fraud when I don't deliver something owed for money. Or maybe it'll just stress me out so much I won't be able to think straight...

I'm picky about the things I write about, and know that others picky about what they enjoy. There is so much more to a person's tastes and wants than just a list of fetish likes and dislikes. I've delved into kinks enough to know that not everyone likes the same aspects of what is otherwise considered 'the exact same fetish'. Someone who likes X might like them only because of the fantasy of Y, while others enjoy Z. This is actually the aspect I've given the most thought to, I may have a solution if I can build something like...a form so that people can be free to be picky all they want about the story I write, all sorted logically and easy to refer to. This will probably be mitigated if I work hard at it.

I feel guilty about taking money from other artists who might need it more than I do. I won't lie, I am living pretty well off right now thanks to some help, and I already work part time. Meanwhile there are people struggling to make ends meet with only commissions to keep them above the surface. I don't even have a sense of what's a good and fair price for a story in this market, and I'd feel sick if I ever found that people flocked to me over others who need money more. I guess this is a pretty egotistical fear to have, imagining people abandoning those offering emergency commissions just so they could get writing from me. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but I've certainly not considered prices very much until now.


So I guess my final questions are the following. Despite all of these things laid bare for you to see:
Would you be interested in commissioning me if I was open?
What do you think would be a fair price or a way to calculate how much a story is worth?
Am I too much of a derp in how terrified I am of anything revolving around owing people a product in exchange for money?

Hoping this will be the better of B-Days.

Just three days left and I was betrayed by my own uncontrollable hip thrusting and wiggling...welp there's always next year.

Also my birthday is coming up on the 11th of December, I'll be turning 24!

Let's do this...by which I mean let's not do the thing I usually do every few days...

...with the first sensation of suffocation. I always sleep on my side so I'm not sure why my face is pressed into the pillow. I push myself upright, stretching my neck and feeling my bones twist and grind over each other. With one twist of my head I can see down my own back where the holes are, each one hungry and perfect in their own little way. I stumble over to the mirror on my hands, the polished glass showing such infinity that I am nowhere to be seen upon it. I slam my face into the reflection, as close as I can be to see eternity shatter to shriveled wet shards, but I cannot eat them as i have no mouth. I carefully lay myself down onto the glass pile, letting my holes suck in shard after shard. I can feel them cutting me up from inside until bloody vomit oozes from my openings
I let it all flow out, dragging myself over the ground to make a trail for you to follow.

Until you find me.

You know, back when I first started getting involved more with FA and getting commissions to put in my own gallery, it really bothered me when people were faving it because all I'd done is add a really short description. It was the artist that was really the one who deserved the praise, not me.
Nowadays though, with the amount of time I've started to spend writing little short stories and scenes to be enjoyed along with the pictures, its made me feel a lot better about having these submissions favorited. Plus all these Watches make me really happy to know that people are enjoying both the stuff that I pay money to have drawn and write. It's like...a super great confidence booster when someone flat out tells me that they fapped to something I've written (this has happened).

That said, it is a tiny bit weird feeling like I'm getting this much love in regards to fetish art and stories instead of just...regular art and stories. Believe it or not, when I was a teenager I wrote some pretty terrible (if heartfelt) furry fantasy fiction that is still up on my Deviantart today. I have more watchers, more comments received, and more favorites received here than on there by a long shot. Part of me wants to be disappointed that it's only my fetish material that's getting so popular, and partly from the efforts of someone else instead of me.
On the other hand though...I feel like I really have gotten better at writing. Even if it's not the same levels of serious subject matter...

...okay scratch that. My fantasy stories had me as the self insert hero and able to master magic and shapeshifting and becoming immortal quickly and with stupid contrivances given for how that is possible. Maybe there really is only going up from back then!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7770743/

Girl is looking for any work she can get, so if you can lend a helping hand if possible I'd really appreciate it.

Recently  MattTheUmbreon lost his job right before needing to pay for medical/auto bills. According to Luigi he's open for commissions so I'm sure a little bit of help from each watcher would go a long way.

and boi was it chilly more than I was expected, shouldn't have packed so many shorts and only one pair of long pants!

Currently en route to Chicago for a family reunion. Not a lot of battery life in this laptop though, and I can't get on skype. So if anyone from the group wants to chat the slow way, it'd be a great way to spend some time burning the hours before the next bus arrives.

http://rillian.tumblr.com/

I've had it for a while, just never thought to link it here. It's not really a blog focused on one particular thing, just really a collection of stuff I like: Gaming, silly comics, artwork, furry porn.

I will mention that there was a time on my blog where I butted heads with people I disagreed with. After all, if you want to see the worst sides of groups considered marginalized just dig deep enough to find them being just as hateful as the misogynists, racists, and homophobes that hate them. Anyone can be a bully if given the chance, and an audience that doesn't give two shits about the one on the receiving of it. It's seriously doing more harm than good to think that you are morally right to take 'revenge' on a broad spectrum of people because of something that one person in that group did.

Currently though, I try to make my blog a more positive place. I try not to get involved in arguments or drama if I can. I avoid even reblogging arguments that I agree with. The most you'll see of it mentioned are things I'll share that try to preach against the toxicity. Because if there are certain things I can get behind, it's:

STOPPING
-Calling out people based on past mistakes they've probably learned from
-Doxing people so that they can be harrassed just because you disagree with them
-Spreading false information to try and demonize groups of people
-Shaming people for harmless fetishes and hobbies
-Censorship and policing what other artists create
-Trivializing serious issues by comparing them to what you don't like

...but I can't enjoy it because the one USB controller I own isn't compatible with it. Prince of Persia: Sands of Time is probably one of my favorite games, and when I found out I could get it for free on PC if I had a Uplay account I was overjoyed since I'm currently lending my console to a friend but wanted to replay it.
The help/support website only says that there's one controller type that it supports, and all others run the risk of being incompatible. Yet the one I'm using worked just fine for a different Ubisoft game, and now it isn't supported with this one.
Such bullshit.

Make me blush while I try to formulate answers for these at work (it's a very slow day, I'm talking 14 transactions after being here 1 and 1/2 hours.

This is the first time I've had one of these, and I don't really plan on making one every single week. So uh, if you've ever wanted to ask me something but felt it was too awkward or personal, here's the green light to do so with the assurance that I'm not going to get upset based on what you ask me.

A fetish, by definition, is a thing besides genitals that make us aroused and thus different from the norm. I've found though that despite some people technically having a fetish for the same thing, it's sometimes for completely different reasons or rationales.

For example, a lot of my preferences revolve around helplessness, embarrassment, and comfort. Diapers and ABDL stuff covers all three of those things. It's embarrassing to be caught in them, they're comfy to wear, and the feeling of being treated or made younger than you are instills this sense of being unable to care for yourself...helpless. I could go on and on about other things that appeal to me but I don't want to write a full essay, I'm more interested in what you guys feel.

Just what is it about your kink that you especially like and tend to focus on the most?

Still coughing, but no longer nauseous or with a bad taste in my mouth, nor am I a slug laying around all day.

Can't even go LARPing like I was looking forward to, not thinking straight, side hurts from coughing, want to do so much, but can't make myself try even if it's just writing or gaming.
Hate everything so much I just want to wake up when it's over, ignore everything mean or dumb I say I'm not thinking right, noting someone who probably doesn't want to hear anything right now from no inspiration of idea but bothering..

Feel like I'm gonna puke right now just cause of this awful taste that won't leave my mouth, not to mention my whole body aching. So if you're wondering why I'm quiet now you know that I'm not always up for even being online.

Up to this point I've been lazy and just leaving the original resolution-trimmed images as is, but I decided to go ahead and give the original files for everything, so expect 90% of my gallery to pop up super big in full view now for your...viewing pleasures~

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7292223/

Recently  jasentamiia passed away in an accident, the above journal link is where you'll find a YCH auction and donation drive to benefit his family. I didn't know him personally, but I loved his art and expressive characters and wish I could have at least said hello before he was gone.

A bit of forewarning, it's gonna be most definitely diaper stuff. Look here for more info:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7257845/

Popping in here before the guests arrive to say that I hope everyone is having a good a day as me if not better, cause you all deserve to be just as happy even if it isn't your birthday

...even though my birthday isn't for a week from now! But that's okay, cause Xenoblade Chronicles X finally releases here, and I'm totally gonna snag it for myself after work! If I seem less active that'll explain why ;)