Hello, all!

I'm just dropping in with a few updates on what's been going on with me ever since the fiasco with my computer since August- I still have a lot of outstanding commissions, and some of you, out of kindness for my problems this year, even paid advances- for which I want to thank you for your generosity and patience. I am sorry I haven't gotten a lot of progress on a lot of them done, but I hope I can give an explanation, if not an excuse.

I'm afraid I've been hit with more misfortune and very mundane tragedies. If I've been quiet or withdrawn, it's honestly because I feel like some people might not believe me when I give an account of the little accidents or set-backs I've had this year so far. To start, I've lost my car for over a month, now- while my roommate was driving it to get to work, a flash flood waterlogged the street he was driving on and flooded the engine- I was almost knee-deep in water trying to push it off the road when we got to him. The engine's been on repair for all this time, and naturally, the bill keeps inflating.

Then I found out that, for all intents and purposes, I lost my rather lucrative position as a freelancer at a financial journal I've been with for years, now- not through any fault of my own, I was assured, but because they're downsizing their freelancer model altogether. Without my car, I also can't travel to a lot of the schools that have teaching positions for me- I've been effectively adrift, as Dandy, also a substitute teacher, snagged a full-time position- good for him, but it means he has a higher priority on the car than me.

Finally, there's been a series of mundane miseries affecting my family. My mother had a setback over her grief of my father's passing, but then that was compounded by a death in the family- a cousin whom I was fond of, but who mom saw as a second little sister. Because of my car troubles, I wasn't able to attend the funeral, or other family obligations, which has also been weighing on me.

Then of course, there's the financial situation- it's not been good, and the repair bill for the car is weighing over me like the Sword of Damocles- every time I get an update, it's to tell me there's another part my insurance isn't covering, and where I used to have three sources of income- commissions, substitute teaching, and freelance articles- I am now down to one. I've been vacillating between anxiety attacks and depressive moods for most of the past month, and it's left me inattentive and withdrawn- I'm actively trying to push back against that now, and I'm sorry to the people that've been waiting for me to get back to them. It wasn't professional, but at least I can provide context.

As for my writing, I am fighting back to where I want to be- tomorrow, I'll be posting my biggest commission over, weighing in at an obscene 100k+ words with all three parts taken into account. I hope you all enjoy it, and to everyone else, I can only apologize for the further delays. I appreciate your patience and understanding, and I promise you, I am working as hard as I can. I'm keeping my head up and trying to stay in good spirits. I will have more stories to share with you all soon!

Take care and God bless,
-Renard

Hey all! I have good news for once.

My computer has been fixed, thanks to a few tech-savvy friends that had parts to spare and much more technical knowledge than I do. I'm going to start posting my backlog, so hold please for art and stories. Thank you all for your support and patience, and for my commissioners, you will be hearing from me soon- I'm aiming for 5000 written words a day.

Thanks again and take care,
-Renard

Hoo boy, it's just been such a fun summer. My computer got completely bricked- I am entirely tech illiterate, but a brain trust of some good friends tell me it's most likely my motherboard caught computer cancer and slowly died because I didn't have it plugged in to a surge protector, and during one of the many storms here in Florida, I may have inadvertently fucked it up.

Now, this doesn't actually mean I've stopped writing- I do have a laptop, but the damn thing is such an old, busted up thing, it's essentially a glorified typewriter with a handful of apps. It started screaming when I tried to upload our latest story on Patreon. I have at least three stories waiting in the wings to post, I just need to find a way to post them. I'm also going to try to be busy because, once again, I have a deep need to earn some cash. I will try to find a way to get things out one way or another- thank you all for your patience.

Take care,
-Renard

Hey all!

I wanted to thank you guys for your kind words of support and patience. I'm getting hard at work, and if anyone wants an update, please feel free to ask. I'll be closing commissions soon, and with the list I've got, I won't be open again soon- so if you want a story, consider filling out the form here or let me know in a note. I'm going to close out at the end of the weekend. Thanks again, everyone, and I hope to have some stories for you all soon!

Take care,
-Renard

Hey all,

So. June was not at all what I hoped it would be.

I wanted to apologize, again, to my commissioners- I had really hoped this month would be better for me, but it wasn't- and I'd like to be transparent with those of you that continue to support me. The first half of the month was dominated by what I could best be described as a slow-motion mental breakdown from my mother; we're coming up on two years without dad, and our birthdays, which are very close together, happened to coincide with Father's Day, which left her coming up with as many plans as possible to distract herself and me along with her, as she kept insisting how much she needed me for out of town trips. I'm trying not to be bitter- but it left me spending money I didn't have to support her in this, and take away the birthday I actually wanted for myself. But then, at 32, not that many people care about birthdays anymore.

More financial troubles came in the form of a massive traffic ticket, the suspension of my driving license, and my first brush with any form of court. My crime? I was left uninformed of fees I owed for six months, because of a clerical error the Department of Transportation made when we moved over a year ago. I lost a side job working for Door Dash because of this, and now I have to work off this extra fee as well.

The start of the month also started with my Aunt and God mother, one of the only pillars left in my mother's life, getting into a nasty car crash. She is, thankfully, alright- but it again sent mom into a fit of hysterics that I had to help her through. Through all of this, I have urged her to look into counseling, but she's not interested. Apparently I'm all she needs.

I've been distracted, as you can see. And again, I'm trying not to be bitter- but trying to shore up my mother while other inconveniences and problems crop up has left me unfocused and feeling defeated. But, the storm has finally cleared- for the most part. I want to take a moment to thank all of you who have been patient and supported me; I've not quite been able to put into words what all has been bothering me, but I hope doing it in one go here helps. I hate to come out here with hat in hand, but if anyone is willing to wait a bit- by which I hope to say, only a month or two- I am still open for commissions, and you can fill out the form here. I'm still scrambling a bit to shore up a couple extra hundred dollars for end-of-the-month/start-of-the-month bills. My list is getting long, however, and I don't want it to get overwhelming- I'll close in the next few days until it becomes significantly shorter.

Now that the apologies and explanations are out of the way, I want to reassure those of you who have already taken out commissions with me. For the next two months, writing is now my only source of income, and I don't intend to neglect it. My aim is to put away 5000 words a day, at least, six days a week. If you have any questions or concerns about your commissions, please let me know, I'm not always fast but I am easy to reach on Discord or Telegram:

Discord: renarddefleureaux
Telegram: Renard De Fleureaux

I also have some other projects in the pipeline I'll share when the time comes- again, I appreciate everyone's support and patience. I'm still posting some stories, but I know I've got the drive in me to do a lot more- so long as no more disasters strike, God willing.

Take care all, thank you, and God bless,
-Renard

Hey, all!

My last post was from February, and then I blinked, now it's May, so. Figured I'd drop a line here, let everyone know what's going on.

First of all, again I want to thank everyone for your patience in getting through my commission queue. I am working every day on getting stories out, so if you have an outstanding commission with me, you will be seeing it as quickly as possible. But I would like to give you guys a peek behind the curtain with what's been going on with me.

As you all know, about a year and a half ago, I lost my father. It was the first real loss I suffered since losing my best friend,  Connercoon, and I was there to see it happen with dad. That's something that's never really left me, and it's made it difficult. I've not slept as well because I've had nightmares about him. I also moved to a new town with two of my best friends,  silver-stag and  dracoe.mccaulley about a year ago, which was an exceptional uphill battle. Our new house flooded because a pipe burst, I got bit by a black widow and needed emergency care, and in more recent months, something else popped up.

So, I will not dwell on this over long. It's a chapter of my life I've never really confronted because in our current social climate, it's not something some groups of people have a lot of sympathy for when it happens to a guy. Back in college, I crushed on a girl and she invited me to a party. Something was slipped into my drink, and I blacked out. I woke up in her room the next morning and she mocked me for my performance in bed. I have no idea if she was serious about us doing it, or if it was her making a joke at my expense. Ever since, I've not really been able to engage in any sort of romantic relationship. It's been a mark of shame weighing on me, and I kept it to myself for years. I recently found out she passed away, and that brought all the feelings I repressed for years back up to the surface. I started by telling my mother, and some close friends. Now, I'm telling you all because, well. I am probably the most Vanilla and low-key fetish writer you'll find in the fandom. I know this. But I have been branching out into more sexually explicit material, and trying to give it my all. I would like to explore more sexually explicit themes because, one, I know it sells, and two, it's a challenge as a writer. But with this resurfacing, it sometimes makes engaging with fetish material difficult. A hell of a dilemma, given my chosen profession. I love writing for you guys, and I love it when you guys love the stuff I write- I love it when you find it hot and titillating. But sometimes this ugly shade from my past rears its head and I just stall out for a bit. This isn't to say I don't want to do sexually explicit stuff anymore, either- I want to conquer this beast. And like a lot of hard challenges in life, sometimes the only way out is to just get through it.

Now, it's not been all bad. I've done a few things I'm proud of- I've returned to the education field as a Substitute Teacher, and we'll see if I actually take a full-time job teaching again. I would prefer to remain a full-time writer, but, steady paycheck is not something to be sneezed at. I also edited a book and helped out with the book launch, something you can find here, if you don't mind a shameless plug.

Finally, on top of all this, is the issue of money. I took out a lot of loans to move, and there were a lot of expenses. I'm still scraping for money, which is why I'm still open for commissions. If you would like to throw your hat in the ring, I'd love to take more on- I hope to have my current batch done in a month or two, as I am writing every single day. So, the stress of finances, preoccupied with other projects, and some ugly things from my past boiling over- it's been a lot. And, again, no one has come yelling at me or demanding refunds or even asking where their story is. In fact, you've all been very patient with me, and I really, really appreciate that. I figured you all deserved a bit of an explanation about where I've been, is all. I've also called in help from a dear friend of mine and a very talented writer himself,  lunostophiles, to help with the editing and writing process. I'm crediting him in any commission he's helping me with, moving forward.

At any rate, I am busy with three commissions right now and hope to have them done within the week. Then, onto more, and on and on. Thus is life.

Thank you all, take care, and God bless,
-Renard

Hey all!

So, I've been slower with getting stories out, but right now I'm opening up for a few extra slots. I've been very busy with a few extra projects- mainly a book I edited that we just wrapped up- and a new job. Still, while I put the finishing touches on this last batch, I'm opening up for a new batch that I hope to get done within a month. You know the drill by now- be it weight gain, muscle growth, adventure, macro, I'm your man.

If you're interested, please fill out the form here!

If you have any questions, please feel free to drop me a line, or check out my TOS here.

My base rate for all commissions is $25 for 1000 words.

Please remember that I am going to request a $50 forward on commissions before accepting. I'll keep the list open until I reach 10 slots.

Take care,
-Renard

Merry Christmas, everyone, and Happy Holidays aside!

I would like to reach out and do something that my family used to do each Christmas. My father would organize it, but naturally, it usually meant his son "the writer" would be left actually putting things to words as we wrote a family letter to all our friends and relatives. Sometimes, I'd write as Santa, or myself, or at times, the family dog- and Dad would always say it was the best thing he'd ever read. Now, he's gone, and Mom hasn't the spirit for it this year- but I still have a few things to say. Obviously, the squeaky-clean family letter didn't delve much into my real profession, nor to the people that saw the real me- so here we are. I'm posting it here to anyone that cares to read, and to wish you the best in 2025.

The biggest change this year was, naturally, moving. I left my hometown of Orlando permanently, starting a new chapter in a small town called Winter Haven here in Florida- and all the happier for it. Admittedly, it is only an hour's drive from Orlando, but in some ways, it may as well be on a different continent. My roommates,  silver-stag and  dracoe.mccaulley, are some of my dearest friends and the town we live in is lively, friendly, but most importantly, quiet. It's such a welcome boon compared to the noise, crowds, and high prices of Orlando, and the house, while humble, is comfortable and we're working to make it our own. It's still a work in progress, but I'm hoping to really make it something special. I've recently been hired on to begin substitute teaching again, a prior profession before my permanent teaching position, and honestly, I'm excited for it. I'm optimistic that the new county will be better managed than my old one, and it will be pretty hard to find worse standards than what I left a few years ago. Otherwise, I continue to work on commissions, as you all well know. I appreciate the opportunity to continue to write, but it has been hard times for everyone- so I'm looking for different avenues to make extra money. I've also recently been named Senior Editor of Blackwarren Books, and we are very excited to get some new publications out in 2025- but I don't want this to be an ad, so watch this space for more info later.

As for me, personally, the year was tough. I've been in a constant state of being near broke and struggling to pay off bills and debts, not helped by the insane amounts of money we spent moving and dealing with a predatory contract from our old apartment. My financial problems aside, it was the first full year without my dad, and I'm still feeling that loss heavily. Everything still feels like the first time without him, because in many ways it is- after he passed shortly before Thanksgiving last year, the entire holiday season felt like a grey blur, like it wasn't even real. New Year's passed, and I didn't fully feel like myself again until shortly around my birthday, after we moved. I feel like I'd be lost without my friends to keep my head on straight. I also had little time for personal projects, and I've fallen off what was, until then, a very successful dieting and exercise routine. But, there's reason to be optimistic- the possibility of financial stability at long last will make things easier, and until then, hard work, discipline, and grit will have to carry me the rest of the way.

Naturally, the big events like the election have effected me too- I have family- actually, most of my family- that were very happy with the results, and the majority of my friends were not. To those still reeling, I'd like to offer this- there is always something to do, and always a way to work towards something better. It may feel like the tide's going to slip over your head, and you may feel scared of what the future might bring. My mom is fond of saying that God never gives us more than we can handle, but of course, that advice may ring hollow for some people- so instead I say to you, remember, there is always something to do. You are never powerless, and the trick the people in charge have is making you feel like you are- don't let them trick you. Be good to one another, because the small things tend to ripple out- to riff off Tolkien, it's the small acts of kindness that best keep the darkness at bay.

As for 2025? I have plans. I want to strike hard, and hit the ground running- I'm going back on my workout routine, and I'm going to get my schedule settled. More stories, more commissions, less time moping, doom-scrolling, and zoning out. Personal projects will be done; the first project I've served as editor for is due out in March, and after that, a new book of my own. I remain committed to being a storyteller, and want to entertain people wherever I end up. I hope that these last few days of 2024 can bring some comfort and joy to you all; the old letters usually ended with a line from Dad about remembering always the birth of Christ as the "true reason for the season," and while I will be in church tomorrow and worshipping the baby in the manger, however you choose to celebrate the season, I hope you do it with people you love. To riff off one more writer that's better than me, remember that no one is a failure who has friends.

God bless us every one, and Happy New Year,
-Renard

Hey all,

Well, another batch is finished, and just in time for the wind up for the holiday season. I'm going to do my best plowing forward to make sure I get these done quicker- the last batch had to contend with the height of hurricane season, so hopefully I won't be dealing with that any time soon. I have had to raise my rates, but only by a small amount- the economy being what it is, I'm sure you all understand. But without further ado, let's get some new stories done!

If you're interested, please fill out the form here!

If you have any questions, please feel free to drop me a line, or check out my TOS here.

My base rate for all commissions is $25 for 1000 words.

Please remember that I am going to request a $50 forward on commissions before accepting. I'll keep the list open until I reach 10 slots.

All slots are now full! Thanks for the interest, everyone!

Take care,
-Renard

Alright, looks like we're back.

I'm just confirming that I'm back on the site myself; I'll be posting new stories soon, so hang tight, y'all! Another FA outage survived, and welcome back everyone!

Take care,
-Renard

Hey, all!

Well, I've just about wrapped up my last batch of commissions, and thank you all to those who helped us on our move. Things are settling down, but shockingly, I still need to make money to, y'know, live. To that end, I've got a clear schedule and plenty of drive to write- you know by now the stuff I do, so if you have a story in mind, I'm your man.

If you're interested, please fill out the form here!

If you have any questions, please feel free to drop me a line, or check out my TOS here.

My base rate for all commissions is $20 for 1000 words.

Please remember that I am going to request a $40 forward on commissions before accepting. I'll keep the list open until I reach 10 slots.

All slots are now full! Thanks for the interest, everyone!

Take care,
-Renard

Hey, all-

Well, when it rains it pours. For those that haven't heard as of yet, we're due to move in a few days, but our new house has flooded because of a burst pipe. God only knows when it's going to be fixed, which has left us all up in the air, with extra costs and a last minute emergency for medicine for our dog. I've wrapped up my last batch of commissions, so I am open once again for commissions. We are slightly desperate for some money, I won't lie, so if you've liked what I've been creating lately, I'd love to work with you.

If you're interested, please fill out the form here!

If you have any questions, please feel free to drop me a line, or check out my TOS here.

My base rate for all commissions is $20 for 1000 words.

Please remember that I am going to request a $40 forward on commissions before accepting. I'll keep the list open until I reach 10 slots.

I've filled all my available slots! Thank you everyone for your interest and support.

Also if you'd like to help out in other ways, as always, the patreon I run with  silver-stag is producing content monthly, so feel free to check out Big Stories.

Thanks as always,
-Renard

Hey all!

I have just about wrapped up my latest commission queue, so I am opening up again for a fresh batch. We (that being me,  silver-stag and  dracoe.mccaulley ) are moving at the end of June, so I will be working hard to get these out and opening up for additional projects.

If you're interested, please fill out the form here!

If you have any questions, please feel free to drop me a line, or check out my TOS here.

My base rate for all commissions is $20 for 1000 words.

However, there is a new policy I'm starting this time around: unfortunately, for one reason or another, I had a lot of people in this last batch unable to pay on time or cancel their commissions after significant time and effort had gone into them. I'm going to institute a new policy of asking for payment covering the first 2000 words, or $40, up front. This is covered in my updated TOS, so as soon as I accept your commission, I will be sending out an invoice. Thank you all for understanding!

Update: Commission queue is closed, and I will be getting started on everything- I'll be in touch soon with everyone!

Take care,
-Renard

Hello all!

I have cleared out my queue, so I am once again Open for Commissions! I am really eager to take on new projects and I promise a fast turn around because Tax Day is looming ahead like a crouching tiger waiting to maul me, and taxes are never kind to freelancers- so, if you want a juicy story and you want it hot and fresh, I'm the guy for you.

If you're interested, please fill out the form here!

If you have any questions, please feel free to drop me a line, or check out my TOS here.

My base rate for all commissions is $20 for 1000 words.

Thank you all for you interest,

Take care and God bless,
-Renard

Hey all,

I'm sorry things have been a little quiet, but I hope you've been enjoying the stories I've posted recently. I'm hopeful to have commissions done by next week, and then I'll reopen for a fresh batch.

Right now, however, I have a pretty important trip coming up. Many of you will remember  connercoon, one of my best friends and a partner I worked on many projects with. He's been gone since 2021, but finally, I'm traveling with his husband to deliver his ashes to his family. It will be my last chance to say goodbye, but this trip isn't cheap- not that anything is, these days. To that end, if you'd like to help me out, I'm posting story packs featuring all the stories I wrote on Big Stories with  silver-stag on my E-Junkie shop here- watch my gallery for more to come soon.

I hate to beg for money, but it's been an uphill battle ever since Dad's passing. A lot of you have been very generous, and I'd like to give everyone something worth their money. My ko-fi is available too if you'd like to throw a tip my way if you've enjoyed what I've been creating over the years. I'll be coming out with new projects soon, so stay-tuned.

Take care,
-Renard

Hey, all-

2024 has been a bit of a challenging start, but I think I'm finally on solid ground. I've finished off the last of my queue and will be posting new content soon, and now I am open again for commissions. I'll be taking a small amount to get through small batches quickly- you all know what I do lately, and my current rate is $20 for 1000 words.

If you have questions, comments, concerns, I have a TOS here that also functions as a FAQ. If you have any questions not covered here, please drop me a line!

Anyone interested, please fill out this form here.

Update: All commission slots have been filled, thank you for the interest everyone!

Thank you all and God bless,
-Renard

2023 was not a good year for me. Death stalked my family long before dad passed away, as my mom lost her oldest brother at the start of the year. It was a year marked by falling deeper into debt and several failed ventures; my annus horribilis, my horrible year.

I can only hope I've seen the last of it.

There were a few bright spots; my friends here helped me through a lot of it, and I got to see more of the world, and for that I remain grateful. I thank God I have the people in my life that I do; it would've made things unbearable without them. But tonight of course, we're not looking to the past, but towards the future. I'm going to start 2024 busy, and with an aim to better myself and my situation, to ensure I won't be left so devastated by the end of 2024.

-I plan to have my novel, Wolves of Kirkney, published through Blackwarren, previews of which you can see in my gallery.
-I have the potential of a better job coming up soon, one situated with my church.
-I'm going to focus on a faster turn-out for commissions, since I want to get back to writing 2000 words a day.

As for my bodybuilding? Yes, that's still going on. For all those that checked out my journals for that, I started 2023 at 247 pounds- and while I was at 198 in June, I fell off the wagon following Dad's passing; come Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the decadent sort of eating one could expect to do on a European cruise, and I end the year at 216, which is still a loss of over 30 pounds I'm determined to keep off. I have a ways to slim down before I can start building more muscle properly; but I'm going in with a brand new workout routine and far more experience than I had in 2023.

Otherwise, I hope to entertain you all here for another year. As always, you can check out my Patreon and my Ko-Fi if you'd like to support me, or watch here for when I open for commissions.

Thank you all, God bless, and Happy New Year,
-Renard

Hey all-

Well, I've more or less wrapped up my commission list, so I'm ready to take some more. You know what I do by now, the price is still fixed at $15 for 1000 words, and I'm excited to get to work!

If you have questions, comments, concerns, I have a TOS here that also functions as a FAQ. If you have any questions not covered here, please drop me a line!

Anyone interested, please fill out this form here.

Thank you all for your time, I look forward to hearing from you!

Happy Holidays,
-Renard

UPDATE:

I've filled all commission slots- thank you all for your time!

Hey, all.

So, I've gone a bit radio silent, and I apologize about that. Everyone that's reached out has been very kind and understanding, and I very much appreciate the well wishes and sympathies. I was away in Europe with a few friends;  silver-stag,  dracoe.mccaulley, and  roniyinz, and getting away from everything was the right call. We got back and things got busy very quickly; the entire family came over for Thanksgiving, Dad's memorial was that Saturday, and I suppose I've been recovering ever since. I'm trying to return to a normal workload, working out and getting work done, but it's still a process. I do however got a few things to share:

Commissions

I've got two left on my queue, and I am very sorry about how long this has all taken. With the year I've had, I suppose I have a good excuse, but still- I want to get back to work, clear this out, and start on new projects. I hope to be open again soon, but it'll probably be for only a few. I don't think I'm ever going to do a long list again- it's clear I'm not very good at it, at least not right now. Speaking of new projects...

Other Works

On Twitter, I offered a cameo spot for a new story I'm working on about Victor- it's turned into a very big story, practically a novella. I'll share more later, but it's become my new project. Otherwise, I'm picking away at Wolves of Kirkney, and I also created a travel blog about my trip for Blackwarren, which you can read here: https://www.blackwarrenbooks.com/blog

Ko-Fi

This is not something I'm proud to admit- but the very sudden loss of a loved one has another layer of bitterness; the expense. Dad didn't leave much, and I'm trying to help my mother cover funerary costs, and travel costs as Christmas plans have been heavily altered as a result. These are, sadly, unavoidable, and I've had to shell out a decent chunk of change in a short timespan. So, if you've enjoyed my works and would like to help, I've set up a Ko-fi. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. Of course, you can also support me on Big Stories as well- we're still working to get everything out on time.

Thanks again, everyone, for your support and care during this tragedy for me and my family. I'm going to be posting more stuff soon, and going to do my best to make a good holiday for myself and my family- and I wish you all the same.

Thanks and God bless,
-Renard

So. To those that don’t know, dad passed away on Sunday. He suffered multiple organ failure and went into cardiac arrest. It was mercifully brief, but now my mom and I are left in the mire.

We’ve already had an outpouring of support and love from friends and family, and I’m still trying to come to grips with the fact that my father is gone. But for right now, it’s time to turn the page. I don’t pretend to know God’s plan, only the faith I’ll get to ask him one day myself.

After much deliberation, it was decided that I should still go to Europe. It’s what Dad would want, and my family encouraged and supported me to do so. I hope to make some good memories and find a way to honor my father’s memory, and then mourn him properly at the memorial when I get back.

See you all on the other side. I’ll try to get some writing done, if nothing else to keep busy.

God bless,
-Renard

Hey all.

I really wanted to get everything locked down this month, but life had other plans. My dad developed strange back pain early in the month, and as I wrote in my last journal, was taken to the ER. I helped out where I could, but as the month has worn on, things took a turn for the worse Friday. He can no longer move under his own power and has lost strength in his legs, while being wracked in pain- most likely neurological damage, but I'm no doctor. I was with him when he went to the ER for the second time this month, and it's not gotten any better.

Most likely, he will end up in the hospital before the week is out. From there, I don't know what happens next. Surgery, god willing.

I'm also scrambling to getting ready for a trip we've had planned for over a year, so. Things have gotten very tight indeed. I'm doing my best to get my last two commissions out the door and all the stuff for Patreon, so please, I ask your patience and understanding a little longer.

Thanks and God bless,
-Renard

Hey all, it's been a hot minute. Apologies!

So, let's talk. It's about time I get everyone caught up on what's been going on. Let's start with the most relevant pieces, my commission queue.

Plans for Commissions

My original intention was to get my list done by the end of October, and I do still intend to do that, but with a rather big adjustment. My father was taken to the ER this weekend, and now he's in recovery. Unfortunately, he needs my help- thankfully not financially, as insurance is covering him, but he will need care from me when mom is working. I won't go into too many more details, but the pain he's in is debilitating to his movement.

What this all means is that it's one more complication to an already complicated schedule. So, I've come to the difficult decision that I'm going to have to cut a few commissions from my queue. I've already talked to the commissioners involved, so if you haven't heard from me, I am still willing and able to get things done as quick as I'm able, but the choice about which commissions to keep and which to let go was not an easy one. Thank you all for your understanding in advance, I hope this will be the last big upset and I can get to a more reasonable and professional pace soon.

Bodybuilding

Still going strong here! I've been working out regularly, and while my weight has leveled out to between 200-205 pounds, I have not been letting the gym go lax. The big problem is that I've been unable to diet as I should because of a lot of travel recently, and I've been, admittedly, more indulgent than I should be. There's not much more to report, I've been feeling good at the gym still- frustrated by crowds, but what can you do? I will probably try to get back to weekly updates, if people are still interested.

New Job

There is something else that has been keeping me busy- I've got a new job writing for an online finance journal. I won't be linking to my articles as I'd like to keep my professional lives separate, but it's been very gratifying. While it has taken up a lot of my time, I hope to keep things more balanced moving forward.

Other Life Updates

Since my last journal, we've gained a new roommate! For those that don't already know, Dandyhorse has moved in with me and Faelan- this was a story in of itself, but over the better part of a month, we've gotten him settled down here after travelling the breadth of the country twice. We had a lot of travelling the past few months, another reason for my long-delayed absence, but things are settled- at least for another month. Early in November, we'll be heading for Europe for a long-planned cruise, which we are very much looking towards.

That is all for now- I thank everyone for your support and patience, and I hope to have more for you soon.

Take care and God bless,
-Renard

20 weeks. Another milestone, and I'm sitting at little over 200 pounds- nearly 50 pounds dropped and, hopefully put on some muscle. I've been feeling good about my body, all told, and I really appreciate the support I've gotten for it.

I wish I had better news besides that to share. Because it's also been 20 weeks of me failing to live up to my own professional standards. This past week, my family and I lost my oldest uncle, and it shattered my mother, as she lost her big brother. I wasn't able to attend the funeral, and so I've been taking care of things here, instead. I want to apologize for how long it's taken for me to get my ass into gear, and still have little to nothing to show for it. The truth is, I've lost a good part of my motivation for a while now, and I've been trying to smooth over the cracks. With my 30th birthday coming soon, I've realized I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be in life.

I know I've said I'll be better, I'll get commissions out soon, and I fear sounding like a broken record. There's nothing for it or my lack of motivation- the one consistent thing I've been able to keep on top of are my workouts, and now, that's what I'm going to do with my writing. I've let too many things distract me or kill my drive, and I really don't want to let myself get kicked down by circumstance anymore.

I've said it before, and if anyone want to cancel their commission, I understand- I'm always open for DM's if you need to ask anything. But besides that, it's time to get back to work.

Take care, and God bless,
-Renard

Hey all!

I'm so sorry about the radio silence the past few days, but unfortunately Silver and I were hit by a nasty little sinus infection that lasted for most of the week- in fact, I do still have some lingering effects of the infection, but I'm basically back to normal. Funnily enough, I originally thought it was just a flare up of seasonal allergies I could power through at the gym- and I was very wrong. I was out of the gym for a couple of days and still not back to where I was, but surprisingly, still managed to lose some weight- I'm hovering around 204 pounds right now, which, while only a paltry few pounds from last time, is still progress.

With that said, you will be seeing more posts out of me very soon. Thanks again for your patience, y'all. My commissions have been stalling because of a new job I've gotten, working for a finance magazine. I've made good progress though, and I've made time to get all my projects done. Again, if anyone has any questions about their commission, please hit me up.

Take care and God bless,
-Renard

Christ, April sucked.

So remember how I kept hoping for one good week? This week was not that week. It did have a few good spots- I've started work on a new freelance project that's very promising, and I kept up with my workouts, whittling myself down to 207 pounds. But poor Toby was struck with illness all week- vomiting and other ailments- and it cost us upwards of $500 to find out it was all due to stress, apparently.

But it is at least over- I'm cautiously optimistic about May. Everything is settled, taxes and lease are taken care of, and I'm still plodding away on commissions. I thank you all for your patience- I'm keeping hard at work, but this month was one uphill battle after another. Still, I'm going strong- feeling good about my body and excited to see how things change from here.

Take care all, and God bless,
-Renard