Hello, silent watchers!

I'm very embarrassed to say I had a car crash and, while my passenger (thankfully) and the driver who hit me (also thankfully) are okay, my streak of luck - from kidney stones as it is - didn't quite path in my direction.

http://i.imgur.com/pmGEosR.jpg (RIP car)

Funny how it got there, right? Happened all in a whirl. Anyway, unfortunately my legs got super injured in the crash, and I'm gonna be away from FA - though I shall do my best to reply to any messages sent my way! - as I need the weekend to recover and get better (hopefully), and then next week I have an operation on my kidney. I'll be in full swing the beginning of not next Monday, but the Monday after that.

Thanks for readin',
- Renascentia

Hello, again! Nine days feels so long for a journal, so here's another.

Today's my birthday! Happy birthday me! I'm going to be neatly busy today, but I shall have a thrill day (hopefully), so I'm looking forward to that, but I also made this journal to recommend this fab artist I've had the pleasure of working w/ recently to help build up his popularity!

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/jsa-arts

JSA-arts is this gorg. artist who does pretty damn good pieces for cheap as chips considering the quality he puts into them, and I thoroughly recommend him if you're in store for getting a really realistic/detailed piece of your character! You can breeze through his art gallery to see the level of his work, but I totally recommend you guys giving him a commission if you're in the store for it! 'w'

Although I'm surely doubtful the connoisseur of The Witcher 3 to whom so humbly gifted me the game last year upon my birthday (a day that comes in nine days henceforth, to which I am looking forward to!) doubtfully reads my journals - though I always wonder if anyone does - or cares for it, I am still as thankful as the day they gifted me that game as I am a year later.

Truly, CD Projekt Red tugs at my heart strings with such pleasure that I simply cannot get enough of Geralt of Rivia, but after probably spending over more than a hundred hours on that game to how many I truly do not know, I have finally finished the last DLC - and end of the Witcher series - Blood and Wine. Geralt's teasing little notion that he deserves a break and humbly looking right at the viewer with an innocent smirk sent me goosebumps no game has quite been able to give me since the Last of Us' intro.

Although I will bathe in annoyance that I can no longer continue the adventures of Geralt of Rivia, I will be sure to be buying any books about him and his adventures as they're translated into English, though I do know and have of a Polish friend, I surely doubt he'd be all too willing to translate an entire book for me, really. However, I do long for the next game CD Projekt Red shall give out, which is undoubtedly to be Cyberpunk 2077. It makes me muse and linger on my own character creations, and that I'm all too short in cash to actually continue them artistically, but more or less focus on them in literature to present their stories to any humble individual who's want of reading them.

I am quite fond, truth be told, and I shall be introducing two next characters I endeavour to write about, but I might nonchalantly forget such a task as after my birthday I'll be focusing on learning to properly drive. Blood and Wine, being so focused on vampires and France, also made me feel the gumption to make a werewolf character from the Witcher Series, an act more or less came across from my knowledge of whimsical_sage's Lord Valeska, a vampire of his. I do find such fantasy concepts intriguing, so I truly might pursue a character than the two I will present to my silent watchers shortly this month, or on the next.

I should also mention that, should any want my Skype, just comment below. I'll give it to you if you've a reason to want to talk to me through instant messages.

Fancy title, right? If I got my Latin right, it means "new friends? just making jokes!". I guess that's my equivalent of saying just kidding in Latin, but I should probably actually learn the language if I wanna keep making these journals, huh?

My birthday's coming up soon which is something I exponentially look forward to. Specifically, it's the 17th of June (not June the 17th you bloody yanks!) which if I recall correctly is also the same day that the new season of Orange Is The New Black comes out on Netflix which is a very nice coincidence for me. Unfortunately, one of the down sides of my birthday is that I have to invest money into my car insurance because I should be actually beginning to drive just after my birthday, making my limit to freedom where I live a lot less restrained.

I wonder if anyone on here lives in Dorset, Hampshire, Devon or Somerset. I know someone has to, but, it's not that far of a long-shot, right? I'm more or less asking because it'd be radical to get to know some new people and make some more friends as time goes on for me so I could feel a little less restricted to just my cruddy ol' laptop in my bedroom. So, yeah - do note or comment if you are, but I do realise it's a running theme that people don't actually make comments on my journals. I don't really mind. I do hope someone reads these, though. Maybe? Haha.

Nothing's going on much with me at the moment, other than the fact I'm making this journal to flesh out and query whether or not anyone would like to hang out or talk sometime. I'm also a role-player, if that tickles anyone's fancy, and I really enjoy doing it, but I don't really do it all too much anymore - my usual source for it was World of Warcraft, but unfortunately my laptop can't run it anymore, leaving me in a bit of a wee bind!

I was actually contemplating myself as a bobby earlier on, by the by. PC Ruben. I think that's a nice thing to think about, but I know a lot of bobbies don't really get the good light in the UK, esp. poofters in their ranks (so Ruby would be a terrible police officer). I guess it beats that time he was a Nazi though, right? lmao

Off to bed with me, though! Ta-da!

Hello, FurAffinity!

And ever silent watchers. I know you guys exist! Maybe. Probably not, it has been five months! Well, regardless, this is a short snippy note that I felt like making to announce my return! I haven't really gone anywhere, I confess, I've just been busy with pressing issues (a job and unsurprisingly World of Warcraft). However, unfortunately, I was sacked from the latter due to ridiculous reasons - honestly, you are more than free to query, but despite the fact I was handling dangerous birds of prey I apparently 'hid' to eat sandwiches on a daily basis??? - and my laptop cannot run the former (argh!!), I decided I might as well hang out here.

As always, if anyone needs someone to talk to or is just generally interesting in chatting, I more than welcome it! Just drop me a note, or a shout. I have Skype, and that's about it in terms of IMs, but I check FA often if notes are more preferable. And yes! I role-play! That is still something on offer, although the only character I can actually offer is my peacock boy, Ruben.

Speaking of, I shall be doing my best to get more art of him and generate a few more characters + stories to obtain throughout the rest of the year! In terms of a life update, nothing much is going on my plate, except for the fact I am soon going to drive (this June, too!) and I am going to this new, fancy posh school some thirty miles away this September. Although I won't know any of my peers, I look forward to getting to know them!

That's it! Not really that, you know, er - captivating? But, I felt like making it regardless before I went to bed.

- Renascentia

I was really annoyed to find the fan for my computer is breaking (which means I need to buy and order a new one) but I don't have any money for them /weeps, which is super ridic because I only need a tenner to buy them. But, that's just super annoying because I wanna buy art as well, you know? Yeuch! Choices!

What with my fan sorta dying on me my laptop has been straining, so like websites freeze and lag my computer, and Netflix was completing crashing my computer recently because my laptop was overheating. On top of that it's made it super difficult to actually play any video games at all so I had to stop with all of that for the time being, which sucks butts.

Otherwise, nothing's really new with me! I finally got my toilet fix (it was making my room smell of poop) thanks to a bit of DIY - mind I had to take the entire sink off and put it back but I had to do it eventually, it was getting on my nerves.

Hopefully I'll be able to also pick up a part-time job to get some cash so I can buy more art, but it's not really looking that way, I kinda use what money I do get to buy food / save up and I only rarely buy art, but still, totes annoying yo!

Okay, so, this is a rather pointless journal but I wanted to talk about something! It's been two months since I have been able to!

I recently got back into the jam of playing SWTOR, and I was basically like oh my gosh EA makes F2P a hassle THEY RLY DO NGL. However thankfully dumb Ruben did play SWTOR back in 2013 so I had most of the races unlocked on my account, and like, 3000 cartel credits. I bought the Togruta race and began playing again, and joined the Progenitor EU in hopes to RP there soon - there's so many roleplayers! I'm going to introduce myself on their forums eventually. I still need to level my characters to the top rank and then get them geared and stuff before I do so.

At the moment, though, I did start off playing a Togruta called Ahlena, but I decided she was too Ahsoka Tano-ey (THERE'S A LOT OF FEM TOGRTUAS) so I decided to ditch the idea. Weirdly enough, I picked up where I left off two years ago with my cathar soldier, Cellea, and she's currently level 31, and I've been enjoying her storyline quite well, mainly due to the fact her voice actor is the same one who voices female Shepherd in the Mass Effect series so I cannot stop imagining it's her, also due to the face my female cathar is always with her companion, Aric Jorgan, who's a male cathar. THEY'RE THE BEST SOLDIERS THE REPUBLIC HAS SEEN. I'm also gonna bang Aric. DON'T JUDGE ME, LMAO, HE'S A CUTE BALD CAT MAN.

Tonight I started levelling a Jedi, though - she's called Aylema, and she's a Twi'lek. I went for the whole Aayla Secura style with her, REGRETTABLY, mainly due to the fact I'm wielding two lightsabers. I'm going to level her to 60 and then role-play her, see if I can't get started with her than Cellea.

SWTOR is really fun to play, I've enjoyed it. I should dart back to ESO soon, but I've stayed off of WoW in the majority too. Anyway, I just thought I'd say something.

Ruben out!

http://www.elderscrollsonline.com/e.....nd-woodworking

The second question always makes me laugh.
Mainly because I asked it.

What I don't understand most of my time here on this community is my insatiable envy to people at times. I have a friend who listens to me complain about my life, and I appreciate he listens to me, yet still I find myself getting jealous and conflicted with my feelings when he gets art I want or has the ability to talk to everyone because he's a neat guy, and everyone is his friend. I envy that, for whatever reason, and it makes me feel upset. Annoyed, even, and I wish it would stop. If I was competent, I wouldn't care what people got. I wouldn't be jealous they got it and that I couldn't get it - but I suppose it's just human nature, isn't it?

I find myself getting jealous over a lot of people all the time. That they get art I wanted, or they just have art, and I can't get art because I find myself lacking the funds of persuasive skills they do to acquire things. It makes me feel annoyed, I guess, upset, sad, and I wish it would stop. It's a dire feeling. It's an annoying feeling. It feels like I want to hit something because I can't get what I want, but I wish I knew how to deal with it, instead of being jippy and rude to the people who have things I want but can't have.

I think I'll find solace in the people who do talk to me to find calmness with my envy.

When I resolve myself to my evenings, my late nights up, my day-by-day routine of staying on my computer, probably watching Orange Is The New Black or House of Cards on Netflix (which are very two neat shows), I rarely ever think. I don't press it. I wake up, get on my computer, then go to bed. You probably might be thinking this is a bit of a weird routine to have, if not a bid of a sad one - I should be doing else, shouldn't I? - well, I am a teenager. And this is the usual thing your usual English teenager does. Either way, though, I like to think of myself not as a usual English teenager, but an interesting usual English teenager, if I can strive to be interesting in any shape or form; I'm side-tracking now.

Even though the clock's about to strike midnight for me, I've spent the last half an hour thinking, which is usually a bad thing. You see, what you might not understand about me is that if I give myself the free space to think, I get upset. I get upset with the things I've said and done to people in the past, and I get upset with the inabilities of being unable to involve myself in this community as much as I wished to be. I start to think if sitting around on a computer is even worth while, if I should keep channeling my life to this. It's worrisome thoughts, granted, which is why I don't give myself the free time for them - but I have, tonight, weirdly enough, and I felt like conveying my thoughts in a journal.

While I'm sitting here, typing, though, I like to try and ignore the temptation of the nearby window or belt behind me and the pole above my head and think about the things I'm striving for, and that's what keeps me going - other than my constant distractions, that is. A very good friend of mine asked me what I wanted to do with my life, and I said I didn't want to flip patties. I didn't want to grow up and have a bad job, and have no friends. That's what keeps me going, keeps me distracted along with this infernal computer; the selected few. From a cheery, funny friend who of all the things works grave yards at IKEA, to a very close and supportive college student, who really shouldn't take the time out of his life to look out from me, to the aspiring, if not lonely animator who wants company, over to the Halo fanatic (just like me!), the mid-western creator, all the way to a guy wanting to do his best in university in my very country. They're the people who help me keep slugging along, even if they might not personally pitch in. I suppose the thought that counts.

Of all of them, though, there's one. I haven't known him long, but I want to know him for longer. Perhaps before I met him I didn't believe in perfect friends, but I think I'm inclined to say - I do. He's a charitable, kind, and funny guy to talk to. He makes me smile wider than Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow, and he makes me cry more than Season 3 Episode 9 of Game of Thrones. He knows who he is - he might be worried he's impacting me so much, but I'll like to simmer him down and say so long as I make him smile, he'll make me smile.

Just a little run of my mind before I head to bed.

~ Renascentia