So, morally corrupt actions of certain staff members aside, the amount of rape apology and just general atmosphere on this website is too much. I'm going to take a leaf out of littledoll's book and leave.

I'm just not comfortable here any longer. I don't think the staff really pays attention to the objections that some (not all) of the members are bringing up. And, really, the core of it is that this site has always been a pain in the ass to use.

I've moved over to weasyl, you can find me here: https://www.weasyl.com/~repsychus

The thing I like best about weasyl is the clean design, the quick load times, and the fact that I can actually group my comics into folders. What a revolutionary concept! I know that there is a large base of people I watch here and people who watch me, but weasyl is growing and it feels like a nice, fresh start. I'm going to leave up what I have here and just go. I may come back to comment on a few things, because some of my friends still use this website, but on the whole I'm not around.

To those who want to still keep in touch with me, you can find me on weasyl or smackjeeves. I'm repsychus on both. Other than that, I wish you all luck and I pray the staff gets a clue.

Love and Peace

Psy

Alright, so I'm still pretty sick, guys. I can't walk far and I am pretty much striken to laying down for long hours of the day, drugged, and plenty miserable. I'm getting off the steroids soon, but I'm on the antibiotics for several more days. It's making me quite sick to my stomach, which means my diet consists of rice pudding and chicken broth. I am also exceedingly dizzy, so reading and drawing doesn't happen often. In fact, my motor skills regarding my hand are pretty bad since I had to stop my arthritis medication to avoid completely compromising my immune system.

Basically, shit sucks right now.

Other than that, I'm on the mend.

Psy

Went into walk-in care on Sunday. Was sent home with some minor meds and orders to rest. Meds did nothing to help - I went back to see my primary physician on Monday. Within 20 minutes, she had me in the ER. My throat was closing with some form of severe laryngitis. No strep, no mono. Spent two nights in the hospital. Was discharged yesterday at 12 Pm. Have been on high-powered pain meds, steroids, and antibiotics for most of the night. Can't sleep due to nausea. Hoping this gets better soon. Please do not expect too much from me for the next two weeks.

Psy

HOLY FUCK I'M BACK!!!!

It's been, what, over a month for most of you people that still bother to socialize with me? I have to say, I'm starting to forget how to talk to people anymore. I'm still avoiding my AIM almost out of habit, but also because I just don't know what to say. '__' Somehow I thought....graduating....would be more than this. Really, all I am doing is having panic attacks and sleeping. Sometimes both at the same time.

When you DREAM you're having a panic attack and know that's what you're dreaming, it's pretty weird.

I don't know, I just feel like such a colossal FAILURE. I'm done college. I'm supposed to feel good, right? Then why do I feel like I'm not good enough? Why do I feel like I skirted by with nothing much and now have so little to show for it? I wanted to go out with a bang - I went out with a fizzle.

So what NOW? What do we do NOW?

Honestly....I don't fucking know. I don't even have a job. Not even a PART-TIME job...and, frankly, I have little incentive to get one. It's like hopping right back into the hectic, insane life I remember in college...but now I have to say I'm a graduate? And I'm working in a fast food joint or some other depressing place?

*sighs* I just want to make comics. I just want to ignore life and make comics. If only I wasn't arthritic...*SIGH*

/bitching,ranting,general whining.

ALRIGHT. On to the rest of my life......yeah, I got nothing.

~ Psy ~

Well...It's been a busy March.

I entered into the 2012 Student Art Show, a juried show of up to 86 different pieces from the art students at my university. I got into it with two pieces - a sequential art piece centered around my life and my struggles getting into the University of Maine art program and a watercolor of The Old Woman who Lost her Dumplings.

Come to find, when the awards are given out during the event, I won best in show. Not only that, but I won the chance to have a solo show at the library. Kinda still reeling about that...I also won an award for best representation of the human figure. Yeah...pretty crazy.

So, yay, there's the good stuff. Now for the bad stuff.

I am fucking swamped. I have so much to do, I think I'm probably going to fuck up all of it. My to-do list:

6 major illustrations for two classes
35-page comic project
30 minute (or thereabouts) documentary project...only have one interview semi-done for that. Kill me.
4 minute portrait of a place (not yet compiled. My comp is fighting me)
2 websites
1 sketchbook with 50 idea drawings
1 commission that was due last week (I can't find the guy's e-mail)
1 commission due FUCKING YEARS AGO (yes, Tekka, kill me. You have every right. I owe you probably a drawing a day for the rest of my miserable existence.)
Make an ibook

And this doesn't include the incidentals, like:

Get ready for graduation (hey, am I even ok to graduate?)
buy a new imac (my laptop is dying)
Look into financing a car (my car is dying)
GET A NEW JOB (crucial one here)
See the dentist (before my insurance expires)
See the doctor (same problem)


So....yeah...Wanna know the ugly part? I haven't seen my friends (Noki, Kyo, Tekka, etc.) in going on a month. It will be ANOTHER MONTH before I can even think to talk to them. I hate myself. Kill me. Please.

~ Psy

Soooooo, went to financial aid today and found that I have officially reached the end of my $31,000 in Stafford Loans. This is after FIVE YEARS of college with a minor in New Media and a major in Studio Art. And the only thing I'll owe them is $380 for the rest of my tuition for next semester.

I don't know quite how I feel...

On the one hand, I'm reeling from the concept of having to pay $31,000 back to the government, but then realizing that a plan for ten years at about $100 a month wouldn't be so frightening. Especially if I can find a minimum wage job. Hell, even a part-time job will allow me to start paying these things back....provided that our economy doesn't fall into complete collapse, of course.

And, honestly, I'm getting college on the cheap. I stayed with my parents, commuted, worked all throughout my five years, and remained very frugal (probably my biggest cost was food - about $25 a week). I know others that are over $100,000 in the hole for a simple liberal arts degree, sooooo....keeping that in mind, perhaps I'm not so bad off...?

Even so, $31,000....ugh...my stomach is clenching in pain at the very concept. I think I might just break out in hives!

All that remains to do now is pass my next semester of classes and prepare for graduation. Here I come, real world!

~ Repsychus ~

Just burned my hand at work today - not so much fun. As though i didn't have ENOUGH problems regarding my drawing abilities...

Also wanted to update everyone on the fact that I'm kinda sorta back for a bit. Thanksgiving Break could not come soon enough! Just finished the first hash of midterms and now it's on to the finals.

Really...they hit you so fast. It's almost my LAST SEMESTER IN COLLEGE! *throws confetti...then remembers the loans...and sobs in a corner with fists of confetti in her hands*

Also, Noki, Kyo, Tekka, Fair - I LOVE YOU.

~ Repsychus ~

Christmas commercials...before thanksgiving....WHAT IS WITH THIS?!?!?!

Also, working on my Sequential Art Midterm, my Painting III Midterm, my Technical Writing Midterm, and my Capstone work that is months overdue.

Perhaps I shall post some of it when I'm finished? After all, my SA Midterm has tits. Tits, blood, and vikings - is there anything greater in this world?

Shout out to my beloved Noki-buu, who is so patient and wonderful! I've faved almost all of her work. If you don't know of her, GET TO KNOW HER! >:[ She is fantabulous and gives me a lady boner EVERY TIME. Also, she is snuggy-buggly cute.

Shout out to my beloved Kyo-sama, who owns me even though I hardly show her enough loyalty. She also gives me a lady boner with her ROCKING FICS!!!! *fist shake* Seriously, girl can write. So well. Kyo, I miss you. ; m ;

Shout out to my Tekka-wekka-smoochie-poo, because she's the bomb. ~ v ~ And owner of Vincent, that little bitch we all love to hate. Lol No, he's not that evil...just....very fruity. Juicy Fruit fruity. Hawaiian punch in a Dole fruit cup fruity. Yeaaaah.

Keep being fantastic, everyone~! I LUB OOOO!

*rushes back to work*

Trying to figure out how to sew a slouch bag for a friend...Apparently sewing requires a lot of math to do things correctly.

Math and I are not friends. We're more like estranged lovers from the days when 1+1=2 without x/y, negative, or imaginary numbers getting in there to fuck things up.

God, I hate fractions.

Alright, so I'm on the last 500 of a 1500 word essay that I had to rewrite because my car went boom.

Someone. fucking. kill. me.

~ Repsychus ~

My sister has reached new lows in terms of shallow, superficial beauty. So much so that I find myself having to write about it to keep from snapping her little twig ass in half. Now, my sister is easily excited when her looks are complimented. The girl has a low self esteem - alright, I can give her that much. Despite being 114 pounds, tan, with long dark hair, and what might term an "ample" chest, she believes she is outwardly ugly and proceeds to cover herself in brand-name clothing she can't afford, wear Lady Gaga-esque make-up, and act as though she is one of those girls on MTV.
I will admit, I am a biased person. I do not like this style and probably never will. I find the mainstream aesthetic to be unwholesome and vapid. Fads make me feel ill and I consider it an insult to be noted as being part of one. Yes, I am biased. I am probably being too harsh on her, but there are just a few things I can't stand on moral grounds. Two, to be exact: Abercrombie and Fitch.
This brand, to me, epitomizes the way in which society pushes for a skinny physique, lacking in all curvature and feminine beauty. It promotes the notion of an elitist look, and today my sister has been officially been accepted among the ranks. That's right, she got "scouted" by one of the Abercrombie and Fitch managers to be one of their new "greeters/models."
Now, I don't hate anyone that wears Abercrombie and Fitch. Yes, I would never be caught dead wearing it, but it's your choice if you like the brand. To each their own. However, it is the COMPANY I sincerely loathe. Specifically the fact that they treat overweight of plus sized women as ugly. That's right. The women who were not like my sister - puking daily, fitting into 0-sized pants, and wearing $50,00+ shirts - were turned away. I have friends who are beautiful in their full-figuredness. Who put those skinny little Abercrombie and Bitches to shame! The very fact my sister is so damn excited that she got picked over some "fat chick" makes me want to strangle her.
I'm going to go paint now...At least when my paint disappoints me, I don't feel like disowning it. Unlike certain siblings.

~ Repsychus ~