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Poetry?
Posted a year agoHey all,
Sorry for the silence again. I was curious, how would anyone be to seeing poetry here? Admittedly, it is not fetish poetry, or even furry poetry for the most part. Hell, I do write a lot of silly, nonsensical, fun poems, but I also have a lot that possibly need trigger warnings for suicidal ideation and abuse. But these are poems I've written for many, many years and never published anywhere, and I've no other outlet to really publish my work on than my furry galleries, funny enough.
I have, in fact, published ONE poem here before, a fetish poem, and it is incredibly long compared to I think anything else I've ever written. I don't believe I've shared any of my other poetic work, though folks who know me may have seen it in group chats outside of my posting platforms.
Sorry for the silence again. I was curious, how would anyone be to seeing poetry here? Admittedly, it is not fetish poetry, or even furry poetry for the most part. Hell, I do write a lot of silly, nonsensical, fun poems, but I also have a lot that possibly need trigger warnings for suicidal ideation and abuse. But these are poems I've written for many, many years and never published anywhere, and I've no other outlet to really publish my work on than my furry galleries, funny enough.
I have, in fact, published ONE poem here before, a fetish poem, and it is incredibly long compared to I think anything else I've ever written. I don't believe I've shared any of my other poetic work, though folks who know me may have seen it in group chats outside of my posting platforms.
It’s been a year
Posted a year agoSo, it’s been a year since I posted. I’m sorry for that. To you, of course, but I know what you’ll say, and yes, I do need to apologize. Because I’m also apologizing to myself. I miss my art. I miss interacting with the community. I never meant to cut so much out of my life.
The last year and change has been a nightmare. I lost my ex-fiancee, my prospective life partner, and with her my life direction. I dealt with a years-long porn and sex addiction, and a massive resurgence of suicidal ideation, including an eighth attempt just after my ex and I’s would-be anniversary. My sister recently left for college again, and I’m without support in the house. And last Friday I lost my cat of 23 years. For anyone keeping count, I was 4 when I got her. My mom and I went to the pound together and I picked her out. She’s the same age as my sister; this house, this family, has never existed together without this cat. I missed her passing by only minutes, after having been with her her last few days. I was so crushed I curled up around her and fell back asleep holding her on the couch. The vet had to take her from me (gently) because I knew I wouldn’t be ready to let go.
I still live with my parents. I still am closeted by them at home, though I’ve come out to some family and all of my friends and coworkers generally know. I have less direction and interest than ever before, and I’ve given up on music (possibly for good). I still work a dead-end part-time job and can’t afford to move into the area I currently live in. Without moving hours away, I literally cannot move out. My life feels pretty without hope or direction, and I’m stuck on an autopilot loop most days. The days I’m not, I’m usually in an anxiety spiral because I feel disallowed from being myself. My music degrees might as well go straight in the trash because non-recorded, non-orchestral classical music is…basically in the perfect little niche of nobody wants it, and I’ve not done it in over two years now so I’ve been trying to make my brain finally accept that it’s time to give up. Everything I spent my life on…I can make more in starting salary than I could going back for my DMA. My entire life so far has been worthless as far as a career goes.
But it hasn’t all been terrible. I now smile when I look in the mirror. I love the woman I’m becoming. I’m coming up on my one-year anniversary on HRT. I have my bottom surgery consultation and electrolysis both scheduled for early next month. And I only a week ago recieved my court order to change my name. My parents don’t know yet; I’d meant to talk to them before going to court, but after weeks of being put off (yet again), I went in and filed. Where I live, gender marker is self-selected with name changes; I will be legally recognized as myself, as a woman with my chosen name, before the election if everything goes smoothly. I also have two beautiful girlfriends I love and miss terribly, that I long to finally move in with. I have to wait a few more years until I’m post-op to get to nest with them, but that gives me hope to plan for.
I haven’t been to another con since FurTheMore this March, and the few friends who live around me are generally introverted. I am desperate to be amongst friends again, among cities and their vibrancy, and most of all among my partners. As an extension of that, I have been missing this community deeply. Even if it wasn’t paying, I had a sense of direction and positive pressure, to produce and publish new work to share and connect. When I went on hiatus, I’d begun fleshing out my characters’ world more, as well as building a second universe for characters specially designed for my partner. I haven’t gotten to share any of that yet, and I am EXCITED to. It has devastated me being away.
I can’t promise if/when I’ll be back long term. Life is still coming at me hard and fast, and I’m trying to finally move out and get the freedom to be my weird kinky fun-loving self and not some starched-collar suburbian disappointment. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t look at my tablet each and every night and wish for the energy to sit and create and share again.
Which reminds me. I have at least two finished works that have been waiting! My lord one was completed just after hiatus last year, and the other was inked in January and colored one night in April. And I think at least one of them’s my best piece yet! (Perhaps not my top subject matter, but composition and technique I’m proud of!) This idea of backlog is great but…I’ll never post these if I keep that up. I want to share these! I can’t believe you haven’t seen them yet!
The last year and change has been a nightmare. I lost my ex-fiancee, my prospective life partner, and with her my life direction. I dealt with a years-long porn and sex addiction, and a massive resurgence of suicidal ideation, including an eighth attempt just after my ex and I’s would-be anniversary. My sister recently left for college again, and I’m without support in the house. And last Friday I lost my cat of 23 years. For anyone keeping count, I was 4 when I got her. My mom and I went to the pound together and I picked her out. She’s the same age as my sister; this house, this family, has never existed together without this cat. I missed her passing by only minutes, after having been with her her last few days. I was so crushed I curled up around her and fell back asleep holding her on the couch. The vet had to take her from me (gently) because I knew I wouldn’t be ready to let go.
I still live with my parents. I still am closeted by them at home, though I’ve come out to some family and all of my friends and coworkers generally know. I have less direction and interest than ever before, and I’ve given up on music (possibly for good). I still work a dead-end part-time job and can’t afford to move into the area I currently live in. Without moving hours away, I literally cannot move out. My life feels pretty without hope or direction, and I’m stuck on an autopilot loop most days. The days I’m not, I’m usually in an anxiety spiral because I feel disallowed from being myself. My music degrees might as well go straight in the trash because non-recorded, non-orchestral classical music is…basically in the perfect little niche of nobody wants it, and I’ve not done it in over two years now so I’ve been trying to make my brain finally accept that it’s time to give up. Everything I spent my life on…I can make more in starting salary than I could going back for my DMA. My entire life so far has been worthless as far as a career goes.
But it hasn’t all been terrible. I now smile when I look in the mirror. I love the woman I’m becoming. I’m coming up on my one-year anniversary on HRT. I have my bottom surgery consultation and electrolysis both scheduled for early next month. And I only a week ago recieved my court order to change my name. My parents don’t know yet; I’d meant to talk to them before going to court, but after weeks of being put off (yet again), I went in and filed. Where I live, gender marker is self-selected with name changes; I will be legally recognized as myself, as a woman with my chosen name, before the election if everything goes smoothly. I also have two beautiful girlfriends I love and miss terribly, that I long to finally move in with. I have to wait a few more years until I’m post-op to get to nest with them, but that gives me hope to plan for.
I haven’t been to another con since FurTheMore this March, and the few friends who live around me are generally introverted. I am desperate to be amongst friends again, among cities and their vibrancy, and most of all among my partners. As an extension of that, I have been missing this community deeply. Even if it wasn’t paying, I had a sense of direction and positive pressure, to produce and publish new work to share and connect. When I went on hiatus, I’d begun fleshing out my characters’ world more, as well as building a second universe for characters specially designed for my partner. I haven’t gotten to share any of that yet, and I am EXCITED to. It has devastated me being away.
I can’t promise if/when I’ll be back long term. Life is still coming at me hard and fast, and I’m trying to finally move out and get the freedom to be my weird kinky fun-loving self and not some starched-collar suburbian disappointment. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t look at my tablet each and every night and wish for the energy to sit and create and share again.
Which reminds me. I have at least two finished works that have been waiting! My lord one was completed just after hiatus last year, and the other was inked in January and colored one night in April. And I think at least one of them’s my best piece yet! (Perhaps not my top subject matter, but composition and technique I’m proud of!) This idea of backlog is great but…I’ll never post these if I keep that up. I want to share these! I can’t believe you haven’t seen them yet!
Going to FurTheMore! Cya there!
Posted a year agoI’m gonna be going to FurTheMore this weekend! If you see me, don’t be afraid to say hi!
I won’t be wearing it the whole time, but I’m pretty recognizeable by my blue vest. It’s COVERED in pins on the front (literally half to 2/3 of them are different diapers) so I’m not hard to spot haha. I did reorganize it from last year and took off the badges to put on a lanyard, but it’s still pretty easy to see XD otherwise, since the masking policy is still a thing, I have a bat mask I’ll be wearing over my “real” mask.
I won’t be wearing it the whole time, but I’m pretty recognizeable by my blue vest. It’s COVERED in pins on the front (literally half to 2/3 of them are different diapers) so I’m not hard to spot haha. I did reorganize it from last year and took off the badges to put on a lanyard, but it’s still pretty easy to see XD otherwise, since the masking policy is still a thing, I have a bat mask I’ll be wearing over my “real” mask.
Wow. Also, what's up
Posted 2 years agoSo first off, I'm a little floored by all the growth that's happened while I'm away. I figured my channel would backslide from relevance or visibility. I'm rather thankful; perhaps I have my more unique kinks to thank for that. In any case, thank all of you for the support, and I want to welcome any new watchers who are joining me.
The furry fandom is a community that has been a home for me since middle school. Though I did not interact with individuals, I related and found comfort and pleasure in the art I found. When I first came out of my shell and began sharing in college, the furry community was warm and welcoming. When I was a depressed, lonely undergrad, a follower invited me to my first Telegram group chat. If you're reading this, you know who you are; thank you, and though I may not show up often anymore, I still think about that chat a lot. When I lost everything and my world came crashing down almost a year ago, I went to furry cons for the first time in my life, and found myself a new partner, new friends, and a new way of life. Hell, even when I came out as trans, you were all so patient and supportive of me. This community is one of the only anchor points I've found in my life, and even posting things for free means so much to me, moreso than anyone in my personal life (save for the other furries I met at the cons). Finding like-minded people, getting to see and reply to comments, seeing people who actually like the things I think and draw up and enjoy my characters and fantasies with me--that is a feeling I can't quite convey in words.
I am still working through life events, being force-closeted at home, and mental health. That said, I have resumed my creating recently. It's slow going, but I have a sketch I'm going to try and flesh out into something worth sharing. It's actually a rather difficult piece I've wanted to tackle for...oh lord, it's been years now. That makes me feel old! It's a continuation of an old series. I also have a piece I finished just before my hiatus I've wanted to share, and I'm working my way through a story. My hope is to resume my original plans and build up a backlog first, as I have more ideas including some larger projects I'd love to do and will need both my speed/skills back and necessary time built up in order to execute them. That means I will still be a bit before sharing again, but know that I am still here, scribbling and typing away in my office when I can! And hopefully sometime soon I can be back to our weekly scheduled sharing :3
The furry fandom is a community that has been a home for me since middle school. Though I did not interact with individuals, I related and found comfort and pleasure in the art I found. When I first came out of my shell and began sharing in college, the furry community was warm and welcoming. When I was a depressed, lonely undergrad, a follower invited me to my first Telegram group chat. If you're reading this, you know who you are; thank you, and though I may not show up often anymore, I still think about that chat a lot. When I lost everything and my world came crashing down almost a year ago, I went to furry cons for the first time in my life, and found myself a new partner, new friends, and a new way of life. Hell, even when I came out as trans, you were all so patient and supportive of me. This community is one of the only anchor points I've found in my life, and even posting things for free means so much to me, moreso than anyone in my personal life (save for the other furries I met at the cons). Finding like-minded people, getting to see and reply to comments, seeing people who actually like the things I think and draw up and enjoy my characters and fantasies with me--that is a feeling I can't quite convey in words.
I am still working through life events, being force-closeted at home, and mental health. That said, I have resumed my creating recently. It's slow going, but I have a sketch I'm going to try and flesh out into something worth sharing. It's actually a rather difficult piece I've wanted to tackle for...oh lord, it's been years now. That makes me feel old! It's a continuation of an old series. I also have a piece I finished just before my hiatus I've wanted to share, and I'm working my way through a story. My hope is to resume my original plans and build up a backlog first, as I have more ideas including some larger projects I'd love to do and will need both my speed/skills back and necessary time built up in order to execute them. That means I will still be a bit before sharing again, but know that I am still here, scribbling and typing away in my office when I can! And hopefully sometime soon I can be back to our weekly scheduled sharing :3
Coming Clean and Coming Out 🏳️⚧️
Posted 2 years agoHey everyone.
A month ago I finished my final piece, then went on hiatus. I was meant to take the time to prepare Halloween plans, rebuild my backlog, redo my price sheet, and get back in the saddle. But that hasn’t happened. In fact, I haven’t touched my tablet since then.
I’ve been wrestling with my gender identity. I’ve come out as trans twice before in my life, the first time obtaining an official GID diagnosis with recommendation not to pursue permanent transition at the time (I was a teenager). My parents said since I wasn’t transitioning, I just shouldn’t worry about it, and I was effectively closeted. Came out a second time in college, where my then-partner had told me she didn’t know if she could stand the combined pain I was going through of suicidal ideation and gender dysphoria. And so I bottled it up and recloseted myself.
I am now newly 26 and have my own insurance. Granted it’s a Medicaid plan but it’s mine. About four months ago, I tentatively began referring to myself as genderfluid, and had trusted friends keep tabs and ask my gender and pronouns. After months of not once identifying as male or nonbinary, I hesitantly concluded a month ago, for the third time, that I am in fact a transgender woman. I’ve known it this whole time and I’ve been avoiding it for others’ sake. I have been trying for the last month to come out to my parents. I feel like the boy who cried wolf. It’s coming up yet again. I don’t know if I’ll recieve the support I once did that compelled them to bring my to a psychiatrist or if they’ll just straight up kick me out. If I lived alone I honestly don’t think I’d tell them.
I have been speaking to an endocrinologist. I recieved my prescription today and begin my first dose tonight. I do not want any surgery besides laser hair removal; as someone already a victim of medical malpractice I want my body as intact and natural as I can keep it. Hormones will be my only permanent transitional step, at least for the forseeable future. I am happy but still worried about my family. It’s not that I haven’t tried to tell them; we’ve had a death in the family, my grandfather move into a home, my sister return to college, all a week apart. It’s not been a good time to tell them.
I haven’t even thought about my art, or anything else to be honest. I’ve pretty much shut down just trying this whole month both to come out and to get hormones. I now have one of those two goals checked off. I miss being creative, I miss sharing. But I am such a wreck trying to figure out how to be myself right now.
A month ago I finished my final piece, then went on hiatus. I was meant to take the time to prepare Halloween plans, rebuild my backlog, redo my price sheet, and get back in the saddle. But that hasn’t happened. In fact, I haven’t touched my tablet since then.
I’ve been wrestling with my gender identity. I’ve come out as trans twice before in my life, the first time obtaining an official GID diagnosis with recommendation not to pursue permanent transition at the time (I was a teenager). My parents said since I wasn’t transitioning, I just shouldn’t worry about it, and I was effectively closeted. Came out a second time in college, where my then-partner had told me she didn’t know if she could stand the combined pain I was going through of suicidal ideation and gender dysphoria. And so I bottled it up and recloseted myself.
I am now newly 26 and have my own insurance. Granted it’s a Medicaid plan but it’s mine. About four months ago, I tentatively began referring to myself as genderfluid, and had trusted friends keep tabs and ask my gender and pronouns. After months of not once identifying as male or nonbinary, I hesitantly concluded a month ago, for the third time, that I am in fact a transgender woman. I’ve known it this whole time and I’ve been avoiding it for others’ sake. I have been trying for the last month to come out to my parents. I feel like the boy who cried wolf. It’s coming up yet again. I don’t know if I’ll recieve the support I once did that compelled them to bring my to a psychiatrist or if they’ll just straight up kick me out. If I lived alone I honestly don’t think I’d tell them.
I have been speaking to an endocrinologist. I recieved my prescription today and begin my first dose tonight. I do not want any surgery besides laser hair removal; as someone already a victim of medical malpractice I want my body as intact and natural as I can keep it. Hormones will be my only permanent transitional step, at least for the forseeable future. I am happy but still worried about my family. It’s not that I haven’t tried to tell them; we’ve had a death in the family, my grandfather move into a home, my sister return to college, all a week apart. It’s not been a good time to tell them.
I haven’t even thought about my art, or anything else to be honest. I’ve pretty much shut down just trying this whole month both to come out and to get hormones. I now have one of those two goals checked off. I miss being creative, I miss sharing. But I am such a wreck trying to figure out how to be myself right now.
Hiatus for maintenance!
Posted 2 years agoEven though I have a post ready for today, I will be taking a hiatus for at least this month, possibly most of October. I really want to do some Halloween stuff, but in the meantime I want to finally rebuild my backlog, update my price sheet, and do some other maintenance while I navigate a very busy time in the real world. I won’t stop drawings, just posting for a bit. I’ll keep everyone updated and still be here to talk though! This is more just to make sure I come back refreshed and recharged and not exhausted after work stuff and constantly behind on my goals.
Back from FD! Catching up
Posted 2 years agoI am back! And wow I had so much fun. Apologies for going radio silent the last few days. I will be catching up and getting back to everything but bear with me cuz I assumed being my third con and a smaller one I could jump from leaving Sunday night to work this morning and that is definitely not the case haha. I think instead of my usual taking Monday off to recover it might take me the entire week. But I’m gonna try my best to get to everything!
Headed to Furrydelphia!
Posted 2 years agoI'm headed out today! Is there anyone going that might wanna meet up or say hi? If so feel free to gimme a shout at my Tele!
https://t.me/rhouvesper
https://t.me/rhouvesper
Where is everyone now?
Posted 2 years agoI’ve been wanting to grow as an artist for awhile now. Challenging myself, creating new works, exploring my characters and their interests, sharing with everyone, that’s been unbelievably fun for me and all I wanna do is keep growing. And after my breakup and going to cons, I’ve discovered I want to make it a career. I know the money’re not the best. But I am motivated and fulfilled by drawing and writing and the prospect of making merch and nothing puts a bigger smile on my face than knowing other people find value in my characters and my art. And if I push buttons with my fetish content that’s a huge extra plus. If I can someday make a living by doing that, I will be the happiest bat ever.
Unfortunately for me, by the time I started to get serious about starting to pursue art, I noticed people started to scatter, and my art, which I assumed (I could be wrong here) being niche as it was would garner a cult following, instead has been barely a crawl. First it was leaving FA for Twitter. Then, when I got a Twitter, Elon bought it, and we all know how that’s looking now.
I have heard of a LOT of alternate websites artists are fleeing to. I think the list so far looks about like this:
Weasyl
SoFurry
Cohost
Itaku
Pillowfort
Mastodon/Baraag
Pixiv
BlueSky
Telegram channels
And for subscription sites:
Patreon
SubscribeStar
Fansly
OnlyFans
JustForFans
Ko-Fi
Does anyone have any experience with these? Are any of them good? And of those which would likely be best for diaper and fetish content, if you have tried them out yourself?
Personally FA and IB are still my favorites and I think will continue to be, with IB being my home. They are actual gallery sites (I HATE the social media scrolling myself), they have tags, the traffic is organic, and frankly, they’re built by/for furries; I don’t feel like an accessory invading normie space. And for IB, the UI including rhe blacklist and advanced search functions are a godsend that even FA lacks. Many of the above sites are scroll-style which I personally dislike because it is difficult to find artists and see their works/portfolios, but if that is the new market I’ll adapt.
Unfortunately for me, by the time I started to get serious about starting to pursue art, I noticed people started to scatter, and my art, which I assumed (I could be wrong here) being niche as it was would garner a cult following, instead has been barely a crawl. First it was leaving FA for Twitter. Then, when I got a Twitter, Elon bought it, and we all know how that’s looking now.
I have heard of a LOT of alternate websites artists are fleeing to. I think the list so far looks about like this:
Weasyl
SoFurry
Cohost
Itaku
Pillowfort
Mastodon/Baraag
Pixiv
BlueSky
Telegram channels
And for subscription sites:
Patreon
SubscribeStar
Fansly
OnlyFans
JustForFans
Ko-Fi
Does anyone have any experience with these? Are any of them good? And of those which would likely be best for diaper and fetish content, if you have tried them out yourself?
Personally FA and IB are still my favorites and I think will continue to be, with IB being my home. They are actual gallery sites (I HATE the social media scrolling myself), they have tags, the traffic is organic, and frankly, they’re built by/for furries; I don’t feel like an accessory invading normie space. And for IB, the UI including rhe blacklist and advanced search functions are a godsend that even FA lacks. Many of the above sites are scroll-style which I personally dislike because it is difficult to find artists and see their works/portfolios, but if that is the new market I’ll adapt.
Back from AC with a new logo!
Posted 2 years agoHey guys! Wow I meant to make this journal earlier. So first off, THANK YOU to everyone at AnthroCon both staffers and all the people I met. You guys are WONDERFUL and I am looking forward to seeing everyone again! Holy crap this con was run smoothly and I made some incredible friends, actually life changing for me.
[CLEVER SEGWAY]
___
//
O-O
[HA GET IT?]
I have designed a new logo for myself! And I've fallen a little in love with it XD I'm actually using a recolor of it with a white diaper instead of all my signature lavender for my pfp; please lemme know which of the two is better!
ALSO ALSO. I want to start making physical merch. Starting with my logo and a few variations which I've posted, I wanna make stickers and enamel pins of 'em. Before I go and spend that kinda money though I've got an interest form I drew up (and posted the wrong link at first haha) to gauge audience opinion and popularity. Please fill it out and share it if you can! I would love to make a ton of these they make me so happy!
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Cm.....4Wg/edit?pli=1
I should probs link all the designs (the main two I'm deciding between plus four "used" alts) too here just for ease:
LAVENDER
WHITE DIAP
STICKYBAT
PUDDLEBAT
STINKYBAT
VAMPIRE BAT
[CLEVER SEGWAY]
___
//
O-O
[HA GET IT?]
I have designed a new logo for myself! And I've fallen a little in love with it XD I'm actually using a recolor of it with a white diaper instead of all my signature lavender for my pfp; please lemme know which of the two is better!
ALSO ALSO. I want to start making physical merch. Starting with my logo and a few variations which I've posted, I wanna make stickers and enamel pins of 'em. Before I go and spend that kinda money though I've got an interest form I drew up (and posted the wrong link at first haha) to gauge audience opinion and popularity. Please fill it out and share it if you can! I would love to make a ton of these they make me so happy!
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Cm.....4Wg/edit?pli=1
I should probs link all the designs (the main two I'm deciding between plus four "used" alts) too here just for ease:
LAVENDER
WHITE DIAP
STICKYBAT
PUDDLEBAT
STINKYBAT
VAMPIRE BAT
At AnthroCon! HMU!
Posted 2 years agoIf anyone is at Anthrocon and wants to say haiii I’d love to meet cha! If you want go ahead and message me at my Telegram:
https://t.me/rhouvesper
https://t.me/rhouvesper
Posting early for Anthrocon!
Posted 2 years agoPosting tonight since I'll be leaving early in the morning! I was debating on holding off but after all that's what a backlog's for! This one comes with a very personal story/anecdote which I hope you enjoy as much as the art, especially if you enjoy my writing!
Once again please say hi if you see me and otherwise as always I'm thankful for all the love and support everyone's given me here online! I appreciate every one of you!
Here is the link!
Once again please say hi if you see me and otherwise as always I'm thankful for all the love and support everyone's given me here online! I appreciate every one of you!
Here is the link!
I'm going to Anthrocon! Say Hello!
Posted 2 years agoOH MY GOD I'M GOING TO ANTHROCON!!! This is huge news for me. I'm gonna a get to see a lot of friends I've made over the years and hopefully some of you wonderful artists out there that have been such a source of inspiration and community and sheer joy for me over the years. And of course, I'm SUPER excited for the ABDL events and the Dealer's Den! I've heard so much about it! And after missing FWA I'm really excited to see what AC has in store.
If you see me, please please PLEASE say hi! I'm shy to introduce myself (not so much once I get to know you or you get me talking), and I'm not the best with names or remembering people's online names, but I want so badly to meet you all in person and make friends!
Also, I have a roommate for Furrydelphia; stay tuned for more on that as that con approaches!
If you see me, please please PLEASE say hi! I'm shy to introduce myself (not so much once I get to know you or you get me talking), and I'm not the best with names or remembering people's online names, but I want so badly to meet you all in person and make friends!
Also, I have a roommate for Furrydelphia; stay tuned for more on that as that con approaches!
I'm Back!
Posted 2 years agoToday is my first day back to posting! Unfortunately this first post will have to be over on InkBunny only, I promise all the rest will be on all of my platforms! This is the first thing I was able to draw after the breakup, it's not even a character I've named. After this though I should be back to my usual posting schedule (Fridays around noon), I have a little reserve built up so I should be set with some extra room for burnout or bad weeks!
Also, I want to update my commission prices, after running a few half price events it's clear I've overpriced my initial sheet. That and some of the higher tier works while fun are just way too much work for me to do other than as personal pieces or exceptional challenges; I will either remove or keep those at their higher prices. Cel shading has become my favorite though! So anything from cel shading down I will be making much more affordable.
Thanks again for everyone's continued support! I'll be back here with new art starting next week!
Also, I want to update my commission prices, after running a few half price events it's clear I've overpriced my initial sheet. That and some of the higher tier works while fun are just way too much work for me to do other than as personal pieces or exceptional challenges; I will either remove or keep those at their higher prices. Cel shading has become my favorite though! So anything from cel shading down I will be making much more affordable.
Thanks again for everyone's continued support! I'll be back here with new art starting next week!
Anyone going to AC have room?
Posted 2 years agoHey guys,
I know this is extremely late of me, but I had a friend that was talking to me about splitting a room at AC and we both got too busy to look earlier...I'm not sure if they're still going but I really want to go. As a recently single person who has lived in this fandom exclusively online until this year, I don't have many IRL furry friends and feel like a total newbie, but AC has always been a dream of mine to attend and with the recent events I now REALLY wanna see if I can make some more friends like me :3
TLDR is if anyone has a potential room open that I can help offset some cost for, please let me know (DMs are probably better for that). Because I'm a little shy I'd probably wanna get to know anyone at least a little bit before agreeing, but I would be so grateful for any offers.
As for non-DM stuff, any advice on packing for a con would be a godsend. When I attended FTM earlier I was totally surprised at what people brought and I'd love to know more. I would ideally like to maybe bring some padding too but idk, bringing and/or wearing is kinda up to how I feel and if I find littles or DLs or the panels and parties and whatnot (also if anyone has said contacts for those I would LOVE to get into it).
I don't wanna seem totally desperate or baggy but I genuinely feel like a total noob in the IRL fandom space and I really want to find people like myself.
I know this is extremely late of me, but I had a friend that was talking to me about splitting a room at AC and we both got too busy to look earlier...I'm not sure if they're still going but I really want to go. As a recently single person who has lived in this fandom exclusively online until this year, I don't have many IRL furry friends and feel like a total newbie, but AC has always been a dream of mine to attend and with the recent events I now REALLY wanna see if I can make some more friends like me :3
TLDR is if anyone has a potential room open that I can help offset some cost for, please let me know (DMs are probably better for that). Because I'm a little shy I'd probably wanna get to know anyone at least a little bit before agreeing, but I would be so grateful for any offers.
As for non-DM stuff, any advice on packing for a con would be a godsend. When I attended FTM earlier I was totally surprised at what people brought and I'd love to know more. I would ideally like to maybe bring some padding too but idk, bringing and/or wearing is kinda up to how I feel and if I find littles or DLs or the panels and parties and whatnot (also if anyone has said contacts for those I would LOVE to get into it).
I don't wanna seem totally desperate or baggy but I genuinely feel like a total noob in the IRL fandom space and I really want to find people like myself.
Back on the Horse...literally?
Posted 2 years agoHey all. I'm still here :3 I apologize for the hiatus, if you saw my last few posts you know by now that I have not been in a good place. This week was especially good to me, and I've been able to finally return to my tablet with fire in my heart. I'm going to build back up some backlog before posting again, hopefully I can resume my Friday noon postings that I was able to do from November of last year until the breakup two months ago now.
I already have two pieces done, or rather, a page of vignettes and a second piece nearly finished. The vignettes will be posted exclusively on Inkbunny; as it was my first real attempt at returning to my tablet, I was kind to myself, started with a circle and let the pen guide me. I had no plans going into it. And though I am proud of what I've already created, if you go see it you'll see when the time comes why especially with the new policies I won't be sharing elsewhere. As for the "literally" part of the title, it's sort of an inside joke I guess because I drew a horse...you'll see it eventually I promise!
I already have some projects ruminating in my head; right now I'm still getting back to the grindstone to re-polish some of my skills and work out things that have been sitting around, but I have a friend's commission to finish (horrible timing...literally 3 days before the breakup and I've not been able to return to it yet), and a few goals for characters I've not yet drawn or drawn enough of that I want to invest in (as well as my usual degeneracy with what seems to be my 2-3 "go-to girls"...yours truly of course being one of them).
I already have two pieces done, or rather, a page of vignettes and a second piece nearly finished. The vignettes will be posted exclusively on Inkbunny; as it was my first real attempt at returning to my tablet, I was kind to myself, started with a circle and let the pen guide me. I had no plans going into it. And though I am proud of what I've already created, if you go see it you'll see when the time comes why especially with the new policies I won't be sharing elsewhere. As for the "literally" part of the title, it's sort of an inside joke I guess because I drew a horse...you'll see it eventually I promise!
I already have some projects ruminating in my head; right now I'm still getting back to the grindstone to re-polish some of my skills and work out things that have been sitting around, but I have a friend's commission to finish (horrible timing...literally 3 days before the breakup and I've not been able to return to it yet), and a few goals for characters I've not yet drawn or drawn enough of that I want to invest in (as well as my usual degeneracy with what seems to be my 2-3 "go-to girls"...yours truly of course being one of them).
Things I have to say (CW depression)
Posted 2 years agoI’ve not been myself since early last month. As it turns out, her moving out wasn’t what I needed…it was the first step in a downward spiral.
I’ve struggled with chronic depression and suicidal ideation since I was seven years old. SEVEN. I’ve been in and out of therapy, even to some of the best psychiatrists in the country. She alleviated that pain. She had some magical way of being able to talk me down and comfort me and her just being there made me want to keep going. As long as I had her, I had purpose.
This is being added as an addendum, but I need to mention before going further than I am seeing a therapist—later today in fact—but it seems to me that like every other therapist I’ve had (and this one’s VERY good), all it’s doing is prolonging the sense of hope. I don’t think therapy “works,” at least not on me.
The mask and filter I’ve so proudly built up over my lifetime is gone. I sneak off at work to hide in the bathroom. My breaks and lunches are twice as long as they should be. I had a manager pull me aside to ask if I was okay yesterday, and she didn’t believe me when I said I was fine. This is a month and change after I called in for a whole week after having an episode and having to leave work an hour in. Just before I clocked out, I had another coworker ask me if I had any friends. As much as I love the people I’ve met online…nothing substitutes talking to actual people. And not having any of those left in my life has left me so incredibly empty. My love language is physical affection, hugs and cuddles and leaning and handshakes. I can’t give or recieve any of that like this. So that question…it kinda broke me, because it forced me to address an area of my life I’ve tried to ignore.
On another note, this morning was the second in a row of my throwing up blood minutes after waking. I think my body is finally reflecting how I feel inside.
I’ve decided to stop pursuing music and art as a career. I have a BM in Classical Guitar Performance, an MM in Composition, 11 years as a musical sawist, and about 6 months as a furry artist (a paid one I mean). But that…hasn’t gone anywhere. Part of our breakup was my giving up, getting comfortable with hating my life in retail and just begging the universe for a breakthrough that will never come. I’ve picked up IT and an studying for my certifications. If I’m still alive by then I hope to go into networking.
I haven’t had the strength to thank you for the watchers and favorites that I’ve accrued. I see them and I am incredibly thankful. I even just recently hit 200 watchers…thank you so much. You have given me more than you could ever realize. I wish I had something for 200 watchers to show you my gratitude. I question if I’ll ever be able to touch my tablet again though. I want to, but…it just hurts so bad right now. It might be awhile but I do want to draw again. I miss what I had going. Even hobbies can be paid these days, so if I ever get back to it I might even pick my commissions back up.
I see the drama happening here on FA and Twitter. I don’t believe any of my work here is affected, but for those who are affected or are leaving over it, my work can still be found on Inkbunny. I’ve always had a link to it in my bio. I haven’t had the energy to synthesize my thoughts on the topic.
There is a LOT more I want to post, but it’s dark. Dark enough to hurt people. Depending on the responses here I might post it, but for now I’ve chosen to leave it off of here.
I’ve struggled with chronic depression and suicidal ideation since I was seven years old. SEVEN. I’ve been in and out of therapy, even to some of the best psychiatrists in the country. She alleviated that pain. She had some magical way of being able to talk me down and comfort me and her just being there made me want to keep going. As long as I had her, I had purpose.
This is being added as an addendum, but I need to mention before going further than I am seeing a therapist—later today in fact—but it seems to me that like every other therapist I’ve had (and this one’s VERY good), all it’s doing is prolonging the sense of hope. I don’t think therapy “works,” at least not on me.
The mask and filter I’ve so proudly built up over my lifetime is gone. I sneak off at work to hide in the bathroom. My breaks and lunches are twice as long as they should be. I had a manager pull me aside to ask if I was okay yesterday, and she didn’t believe me when I said I was fine. This is a month and change after I called in for a whole week after having an episode and having to leave work an hour in. Just before I clocked out, I had another coworker ask me if I had any friends. As much as I love the people I’ve met online…nothing substitutes talking to actual people. And not having any of those left in my life has left me so incredibly empty. My love language is physical affection, hugs and cuddles and leaning and handshakes. I can’t give or recieve any of that like this. So that question…it kinda broke me, because it forced me to address an area of my life I’ve tried to ignore.
On another note, this morning was the second in a row of my throwing up blood minutes after waking. I think my body is finally reflecting how I feel inside.
I’ve decided to stop pursuing music and art as a career. I have a BM in Classical Guitar Performance, an MM in Composition, 11 years as a musical sawist, and about 6 months as a furry artist (a paid one I mean). But that…hasn’t gone anywhere. Part of our breakup was my giving up, getting comfortable with hating my life in retail and just begging the universe for a breakthrough that will never come. I’ve picked up IT and an studying for my certifications. If I’m still alive by then I hope to go into networking.
I haven’t had the strength to thank you for the watchers and favorites that I’ve accrued. I see them and I am incredibly thankful. I even just recently hit 200 watchers…thank you so much. You have given me more than you could ever realize. I wish I had something for 200 watchers to show you my gratitude. I question if I’ll ever be able to touch my tablet again though. I want to, but…it just hurts so bad right now. It might be awhile but I do want to draw again. I miss what I had going. Even hobbies can be paid these days, so if I ever get back to it I might even pick my commissions back up.
I see the drama happening here on FA and Twitter. I don’t believe any of my work here is affected, but for those who are affected or are leaving over it, my work can still be found on Inkbunny. I’ve always had a link to it in my bio. I haven’t had the energy to synthesize my thoughts on the topic.
There is a LOT more I want to post, but it’s dark. Dark enough to hurt people. Depending on the responses here I might post it, but for now I’ve chosen to leave it off of here.
I lost my Owner
Posted 2 years agoNine and a half years...all down the drain, and it's my fault. I've been losing my battle with addiction and I didn't even realize how bad I was getting. I didn't see the neglect, I took my life for granted and put everything on pause while I let my addiction possess me...now I'm trying to figure out just who I am without her. Who I used to be before we met when I was 16, and who the adult me is supposed to be. We went to the same high school, the same college, then moved in together. I've never been without her and I don't know who or what I am without her, and with the addiction all my hobbies and career aspirations are faded and rusty. There's not much of me left.
You can expect some things to change here, especially regarding my favorites and watches. I mean no offense to anyone, I just need to create a space that is safe for me from my addictions, or at the very least creates a hard boundary that separates where I want to be from where I've become.
She's still in the process of moving out. We've talked, and had some closure. But until she's truly gone, there's this dark cloud and a sense of nausea hanging over me. I can't pick up the pieces until that cloud is clear and I can see everything left broken. I probably won't post this week, and I apologize for that. I tried drawing and playing music as an escape or a coping mechanism earlier in the week but it only made things worse. I'm sure I'll be back to whoever "me" is once she's gone and I can figure out what it is I enjoy still. Bear with me, I'm trying my best. I'll be getting help for my addiction as well at some point.
You can expect some things to change here, especially regarding my favorites and watches. I mean no offense to anyone, I just need to create a space that is safe for me from my addictions, or at the very least creates a hard boundary that separates where I want to be from where I've become.
She's still in the process of moving out. We've talked, and had some closure. But until she's truly gone, there's this dark cloud and a sense of nausea hanging over me. I can't pick up the pieces until that cloud is clear and I can see everything left broken. I probably won't post this week, and I apologize for that. I tried drawing and playing music as an escape or a coping mechanism earlier in the week but it only made things worse. I'm sure I'll be back to whoever "me" is once she's gone and I can figure out what it is I enjoy still. Bear with me, I'm trying my best. I'll be getting help for my addiction as well at some point.
Half-price commission slots! (2/2)
Posted 2 years agoIn celebration of my first comic being finished, I've decided to take two half-price commission slots!
Please see my ToS and pricing here (keep in mind final prices will be halved!):
Terms of Service
Pricing
If you are interested, please fill out this form here!
Commission Form
Please see my ToS and pricing here (keep in mind final prices will be halved!):
Terms of Service
Pricing
If you are interested, please fill out this form here!
Commission Form
AMA, I’m bored!
Posted 2 years agoIf it’s too personal or whatnot I’ll maybe answer back in DM. I’ll try to answer anything!
Comics, Catching up, and FTM 2023
Posted 2 years agoDue to FurTheMore starting on Friday, I’ll be posting page 2 of PotTY on Thursday, a day early! And speaking of the con, I’m excited to meet lots of new friends there. Say hi if you see me!
I’m happy to report I’ve caught back up on my pages, so I should be able to hopefully start backlogging again which will give me time to post and make even more! I also have a few things planned that will hopefully finally net me some more commissions. I’ll be trying things out in a couple weeks once the comic is finished!
I’m happy to report I’ve caught back up on my pages, so I should be able to hopefully start backlogging again which will give me time to post and make even more! I also have a few things planned that will hopefully finally net me some more commissions. I’ll be trying things out in a couple weeks once the comic is finished!
My First Con! (FurTheMore 2023)
Posted 2 years agoI just registered for my first con! If anyone else is going or has any advice please lemme know! I would love to meet some friends and I wanna make sure this is the best experience I can make it!
How can I grow?
Posted 3 years agoI’ve been drawing almost constantly lately, as I’ve decided this is definitely something I enjoy doing and want to invest in, and I’ve been thinking about how I might grow my presence online. I’m currently active on three platforms which I am happy with, though none have a terribly large audience.
Do I need to be more vanilla? More extreme? Should I try and focus on only one or two kinks? I’ve been thinking about possibly doing some fan art, but is that my best option? Or is my work okay, but my speed the issue? What might interest people in my work more? And how might I get more people to commission me?
Also, I don’t think I’ve mentioned here, but I do have a Twitter (also if anyone knows how Twitter works please help, that one’s the biggest struggle for me!):
https://twitter.com/RhouVesper
Do I need to be more vanilla? More extreme? Should I try and focus on only one or two kinks? I’ve been thinking about possibly doing some fan art, but is that my best option? Or is my work okay, but my speed the issue? What might interest people in my work more? And how might I get more people to commission me?
Also, I don’t think I’ve mentioned here, but I do have a Twitter (also if anyone knows how Twitter works please help, that one’s the biggest struggle for me!):
https://twitter.com/RhouVesper
Paper Dolls and other Sketches
Posted 3 years agoThis last week I’ve tried to get into the habit of sketching daily. Nothing special, practicing angles, circles, etc. But in one of my face practices I ended up with an expression I really liked and decided to flesh it out into a full body. It’s not finished line work, just a sketch, but I drew several outfits over it like a paper doll and colored the sketches, just to practice materials and such.
Over the next few weeks, I’m gonna be uploading those, and hopefully try to get in the habit of posting more of whatever I’m working on :3
A reminder as well I’m still open for commissions! I would really REALLY like to draw you guys!
Over the next few weeks, I’m gonna be uploading those, and hopefully try to get in the habit of posting more of whatever I’m working on :3
A reminder as well I’m still open for commissions! I would really REALLY like to draw you guys!
Commissions OPEN!
Posted 3 years agoApologies for going quiet this month. Just wanted to put out a reminder that my commissions are open! I've decided against doing slots, since I only had one response this last time, so if you're interested, please feel free to hit me up!
Please see my ToS and pricing here:
Terms of Service
Pricing
If you are interested, please fill out this form here!
Commission Form
Please see my ToS and pricing here:
Terms of Service
Pricing
If you are interested, please fill out this form here!
Commission Form
