Ric-Ultima

I mean, if you're the person I think you are, I don't care, because I really don't want to be friends with anyone that thinks you're worth listening to.

But, honestly

If anyone else is talking shit about me, please stop. I don't know if you understand this? My move is literally in less than two weeks. Meeting my new stepdad is the only thing keeping me alive and fighting. That and to fight douchebags like you. So please stop, I'm not in the mood for this shit again, I left the sonic community in 2010 because of immature fighting and all my friends were 12. You guys are usually 18-25. 18-25! Grow the fuck up!!

I graduate in May and I move from this farmtown in central Illinois in June to Tucson, AZ, where maybe I may attend some furmeets or do something for once in my life.
I have to say, my Senior year has to have been the worst year of my high school life. My hardest was my sophomore year, and my GPA will always be around a B average 3.0 rather than the A average 4.0 I deserve if I wasn't getting D's in all of my classes that year.

The truth is I'm no artist. I've been preoccupied and struggling with school, and now that I'm 18 I'm afraid I've fallen behind. Everywhere. Not just as an "artist" in the fur community, also as a writer, a gamer, an employee, in school, in family, in friends, and all other kinds of relationships. So I've been depressed.
But there's this new saying going around that is starting to soothe my nerves, that you can "never be too old to follow your dreams" and that's exactly what I will do.

I have a lot of extra credit to do if I wanna make up this English grade. And I will be working nonstop for the next two weekends. It's going to be a hard couple of weeks. After that, I will start to see the light at the end of the tunnel again.

I'm not sure if any of you will bother to read this journal. For some reason, I've been becoming more introverted, and I think that's because this year has been so stressful and even moreso lonely irl. And my trust issues are at their absolute worst. But I know that one day I will overcome them.

I make optimistic journals all the time. I'm praying this one will actually mean something, and I have a feeling it will.

Have I ever done too much complaining about my art and writing block and stuff??

Well I think it's finally over.

I've come up with a great plot for my series Pack Omega and the first volume is coming, as well as maybe some character design, because guess what? After all that writing I FEEL LIKE DRAWING, DAMMIT XD

As for my fursona I'll try to get that done, too

Now some bad news, I do have to work like aaaaall next month. I'll be at work for 2/3 of the weekends and I'm very busy with school regardless of work. But I've done something I've been trying to do for a whole fucking year, as soon as the "sorry for the lack of passion" journal came out.

Now, some of you haven't really seen my writing, but from what I understand, it's really good. The people that have seen Hybrid Dragon hate the plotholes but they still think the story could become its own manga one day XD They love it and they even have favorite characters. If I can recover volume 3 I'll try to work on that too, but it's on my old laptop and that's shot, I'm not sure if I can even get it back. Volume 3 was too perfect to rewrite, though D:

Ric-Ultima and RicUltima are going to be my normal screenames. I changed it for deviantart but I'm considering changing it for everything, my youtube and even my FA too. This account will STILL BE UP but this is where I am going to be posting SCRAPS and FETISH MATERIALS. I do NOT want to favorite suggestive material on any of my casual accounts! >.<

I may also get a new skype account which might render my old skype account USELESS! And if I can find away to transfer all of my games and badges over to a renamed steam account, I would love to, but I'm not sure if I really can :c We'll see >w<

There was a wolf in the Grand Canyon I flipped about a few weeks ago, and today it got shot... That can only make me even more depressed, while I was venting about animal abuse...
And I had this sadistically cool idea.

Has anyone written a story about a serial killer cannibal hunting down and killing other hunters, too? I feel like that would make a cool novel or horror story book -w- Oh believe me, I've fantasized about things like that.

Don't trust me. I get nothing done..

If my life depended on it I would still fail.

Who is this mystery fursona anyways? Well, I've got my tablet, it works great, I've got an (unreleased) test drawing, and I'm ready to start! Oh my god, this is gonna be beautiful -w-

You guys know that most of the stuff intended for FA is fetish, right? And that my normal stuff is on my DA?

Well, let's just say I'm at a huge art block right now. I haven't been posting on either of them.

This is kind of an important journal, because for those that don't know, something happened a lot of months ago, and something big, and it's been throwing me into an identity crisis. I don't like to talk about it. I just want people to know that as much as I wanna create something sadistic, even if the sadism is from an antagonist, it just reminds me of things I don't want to think about. I'm trying my best to overcome this but it's been tearing me apart.

There is one series I was comfortable with writing on my Deviantart, but I lost the third volume after writing it so I've decided to cancel the series completely and maybe even rewrite it later, but I don't have the time to rewrite a huge series like that. It's alright, it's not like it made sense at the beginning of the story, which may be the most important part. It's not like nobody pays attention to writing.

But they would if I could draw, and I just can't. It's not just that I can't draw well, I'm actually very confident that if I practice, I could do anything! It's just that I can't even practice! The one pencil sharpener I have is a mechanical one that's huge and annoying, my new favorite color (yellow-green) is not in my batch of colored pencils, and even paper is a rarity. I suppose those are just excuses, though. The real problem is I have a habit of being embarrassed by my artwork, no so much by my skills, but by my content. I absolutely despise being asked what I'm drawing, especially by my art teacher. She won't understand why my fursona has to be a certain way, or why I obsess over what she thinks is werewolves. And I seriously need to start practicing paws. If I could practice at home, this would be a lot easier...

And the only drawing sources I really have is my flamboyant furry book I don't have the balls to whip out in my swagfag school.

Either way, it's Christmas. Maybe I can do something productive this year. But I need my fucking tablet. I feel like digital art would be the best medium. I need to come up with a color scheme for my fursonas, and maybe even a backstory for them. Redrawing and recoloring my fursona every time I fuck up is getting annoying.

Lots of family over and lots of woork, this week has been long and annoying. I haven't had hardly a chance at all of streaming, talking with my friends, or fuck, even fapping. ;~;

I just checked my FA and everyone is just SO SEXY THIS WEEK ;~; I LOVE YOU GUYS

Why do I keep meeting people that only want to rp?

I'm more of an artist than a roleplayer, and Jesus Christ, this whole community expects sex more than anything else tbh ._.
And it's hard enough to call me an artist when I hardly do anything. But it would help if someone would teach me or motivate me rather than want to fuck me ._. And school is not helping..

I don't know. I don't know what I"m going to do.

I have an ex girlfriend that posts nothing but Attack on Titan porn and feminism posts. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR TUMBLR!! It can be macro, it can be pornographic, it can really be anything as long as you're not abusing actual animals or humanls ;w;

Just please, flood my tumblr so I don't have to see this bish

Hey.

My college advisor has wanted me to make an art portfolio by tomorrow and I don't have much of anything. Now I'm really upset and I feel worthless.
I've thought about becoming more professional on here and deviantart by creating a new account separate from my experimental and even fetish art. Seperating them through Deviantart and Furaffinity isn't working.

Anyways, I don't know what to do. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I want to go to college. Above all else, I want to stay a furry. Can you guys please tell me what would have me stay as a furry for the longest time? I'm scared of losing connection with my fandom.

Jigglypuff's about to evolve into a ditto when I'm done with it >:I

I'm sure some of you knwo. Maybe not all of you...

What's it like to be mutual with your worst enemy? Like, what's it like for your friend being friends with your worst enemy? Anyone else been in that situation before? It's mind raping.

Eh, whatever. I'll stay in a good mood. I'm kind of losing my sanity. Everytime I say I'm in a good mood when something hurts me, I feel stronger. A little cocky, a lot arrogant. But I feel stronger. It's a nice way to live life, I think. Fuck stress. I can't feel it anymore. I'm sick of it ^^"

I like the idea of being batshit crazy. It makes me feel free

I swear to god I drempt like 7 times. One of them I lost my videogames, another one I got a free 3DS, another about an anime, another about playing castlevania, another one I had a sexy dream, one about Godzilla, holly shiiiiiiiit~!

I even had to fap this morning, on a SCHOOLDAY! I don't think I've ever fapped on a schoolday morning before. Maybe once. I dunno :/

That's it >//w//<
That's the whole journal
These are the best socks ever~

I posted a journal on DA stating this

I kind of ignored deviantart for awhile ^^" Furaffinity addiction was going on. I realized though I almost posted all of my journals on here, daily, maybe hourly, before I got facebook. Then, I just wrote statuses there.

"But I'm taking a little break from facebook ^^" There was too much drama. How would you guys like to see more journals from me for once~? X3 "

I've been depressed for awhile and realized my problem could be a facebook addiction. And the problem is most people that are on facebook, no offense if you use it, but they're usually equipped with the IQ of a brick. I think the reason facebook is so addicting is because status updates which are kind of like journal tools for me are right there on the homepage, which saves me a step, maybe? And people pay attention to statuses more than journals. Still, I love my furry brethren more.

I try to be happy, honestly. Shit just happens though, this barrage of bullshit. Nobody's happy. Not my family, not my friends, rl or rp. People's computers are breaking, people are pissed at me, facebook drama, uncle might be dying, just, Jesus please help...

I don't know what to say. It's too much. And school, school on top of it, I'm not sure if I can really even care about school anymore. I might just blow off this project that's due tomorrow. I don't care anymore. I don't care where I'll be, I just wanna be around people that are happy, and I can already tell that's never going to happen..

So I just turned 18, I can legally turn off that mature content filter now~ hehe~

Um, here, lemme tell you guys about myself since I've been on here for awhile

I am very obsessive, usually over one thing at a time. Hehe ^^ Sometimes I obsess over gaming, sometimes about computers, sometimes about art, sfw or nsfw, and I have a fetish for macros >/////<

I've never been too proud of my macro fetish up until recently. I felt like it was not just evil, but it was cringeworthy too that I would be into it. But I got over that ^^ My furaffinity will be my nsfw upload place, not sure about deviantart. Aside from that I can pretty much get into any rp X3 I'm just not into sneakers, that's about the limit. Socks, mm, different story X3

I do not stand for animal abuse. Ever since I met someone that's violent with animals, I've been a little bit more tame with rping. Sorry guys. I have this phobia that it would happen again, that I would meet someone that abuses animals. ^^"

The truth is I'm not evil, but I love to create evil themes. I love making evil characters. But the real me, the real Lucario? I'm not that evil! X3 Though I can be a little predy in rp, but whether I am or not is solely up to you! X3 I'm flexible. Even with sexuality. irl not as much X3 I'm a little bit more straight there.

Sorry for exploding into kinkiness, I also forgot to tell you guys I'm great with computers, and I love video games even though I'm a casual gamer. I haven't played pokemon up until a few years ago, and that's just Stadium and Snap! Nah, I actually grew up with LoZ, but there's not a lot of furries in there. Starfox though, who hee, that's what I grew up with. I always did love pokemon though, and I've always wanted a pokemon game. I'm also not into southern culture, unfortunately, so I don't listen to southern rock or country music, but if we're talking music, I love EVERYTHING ELSE X3 Even pop! But Korn has to probably be my favorite band as of right now. Macros seriously need to try listening to Korn and looking at m

Politics? Eh, fuck you. I believe liberal or conservative depends on the situation. Right now, I'm more democratic because I stand against war in the middle east. Although, I do believe in mutilating the NSA. Don't look at my porn, please.

School? I'm not going to college. When I graduate from High School I'm thinking about working at a McDonalds? lol, I dunno. I like McDonalds X3 I might also start a youtube account. Maybe I can get it viral on 4chan or some shit. That's what I plan to do for money. Fuck school XD Not because of learning, because it's so god damn expensive. You should be paying me to learn XD My favorite subject is actually the TV station this Senior year, last year it was Anatomy and Physiology Junior year, the year before it was Geometry as my favorite subject, and the year before that, it was English. I also like Art. I took all 4 years X3 And I can legally do Medical Coding because of my A+P class and I don't even need college! Best decision of my life. I was president of the Anime club last year. This year I'm not really in any clubs :/

I dunno what else to say. Hehe, add me on Steam, I'm RicTheUltimate02! X3

I AM 18
I JUST INSTALLED WINDOWS AND TWO SSD'S
IT'S SEXY
;w;
AS OF NOW, I WILL BE ACTIVE ON STEAM AND SKYPE MORE. THE THING IS FAST.

I'm going to try my best to create a fursona before my senior year starts on Tuesday. This is not another pokemorph, I mean an actual fursona. I'm sick of having no identity.

I don't know who I am. I can't even pick a fursona. I don't know. I don't think I have a spirit animal. I don't know what I am because my emotions shift so rapidly and strongly... for awhile I thoguht I was strong, or maybe I was just supressing something. I'll eat myself apart because I feel so insane at times and other times I'm not. This journal makes no sense, I know. Thoughts are racing. This identity crisis will never end. I will never find myself, and I don't think I'll ever be an artist because I don't know what I am yet... Or ever will... Just... Different. I pretend to be someone I'm not because I'm not.

NEW COMPUTER IS BUILT!!

AND MAN, IS IT BEAUTIFUL!!

Unfortunately, I did dent the back case lid dropping it, and the upper right of it can't screw in, but it's basically unnoticeable, so it's fine. Other than that, I'd say it's a beautiful build!!

Um, I don't have a wireless adapter yet, and that's gonna have to happen for me to get back on Steam and Skype. But it shouldn't be too long?? Remember when I said it could be a matter of weeks? Well I'm telling you now it's probably going to be a matter of days before I kick ass on my new performance PC!!

I'm going to install Linux Mint KDE on it tomorrow. Other than that, keep cool. I might finish reading my book too while I'm off internet access, I'll get born customizing Linux at some point in my life, right? ... Right?

This is the kind of minor post I'd make on facebook but I felt it owuldn't be appropriate so I'm doing it here XD

Well, I was sick for a day, right? And I get over it and people are still treating me like I'm sick giving me soft foods and stuff when I'm fucking starving e.e They're also keeping it bone cold in here which I hate the cold, by the way.

I was hoping today while my mom was away and I'm away from the computer maybe I could play some mushroom stacker brawl for the first time in years and maybe even consider installing project melee, but nope, spontanious visit from my concerned grandma. I only have 30 minutes left. Uuuuugh

Guess I'll just go back in bed and fap myself to sleep like I normally do XD

I miss my friends on steam and skype. I miss Arky and Chaz and my master Snippy ;w; I promise you, it won't be too much longer. I just need to finish the second half of this build and buy an adapter