This... It is very hard to write about such things and even harder to come to terms with it. A number of years back I was in heavy depression, massive amounts of self doubt and just the fear that I was not even good enough to keep living but I never harmed myself nor others, save with my emotions and outbursts. Like many I tried to find release and fell into the arms of a cruel individual who I thought to call master for some time.
It was fun, kept my mind of dark thoughts and gave me a purpose. My boyfriend was hesitant but saw that it was helping somewhat and did his best to support me. I told this individual my problems and he seemed to care, to try and understand me but I look back and see that it was just a way to manipulate me when the time eventually came.

About four months into the relationship I was growing bored, the man demanded more of my time and even wanted money, some form of financial domination. It sparked an odd interest in me. He abused that, demanding more and more money like I was an open bank account, saying if I didn't pay he would leave and it would be my fault. As my ADHD kicked up I grew distracted, trying to RP or just chatting with others he would grow angry and even when I tried to explain he called me a whore and said to pay him for lost time. When I refused he told me to apologize or he would leave and when I refused that he said I was an idiot and didn't deserve my boyfriend.

Weeks past, I was to scared to tell my boyfriend since I really did blame myself and kept doubting myself and trying to figure out how I should apologize to my abuser. It was then I learned he had kept in contact with my boyfriend and was telling him how I chatted with others, lied that I would whore myself for money and not share it. Luckily for me my boyfriend knew better than to trust him and told him to leave.

Every so often he will pop up, be it in art or other characters on telegram or discord and call me out. To this day he still expects an apology and blames me for ADHD that ruined what was a perfectly good relationship.

I'm happy to have such a loving boyfriend, now fiancé and hope that one day I'll forget this man ever existed in my life while also hoping those that fall in with him understands that they are actually worth something. No one is trash, no one is less than others so please, love yourself.

I'm sorry for making this rather hard to read journal as it is just mainly for venting but thank you for reading it.

Would people be interested in a live Discord server for a primarily weight gain D&D type thing?

It would be PbP (play by post) with DMs and mods helping players travel through dungeons, explore caves, battle monsters and get really freaking fat. Of course this is just an idea for now but if people would really want it I'll make it, with DM positions available.

The system itself would be 5e with a little extra to include weight gain.

Also you can thank Crispy pork boy for putting this idea in my head with all his fat D&D boys.

Would people be intrested in commissioning D&D adventure modules? For example I would write put the story and battles while you'd give me the setting along with the levels you want your party to go through.

It could be lewd or normal. A starting adventure or something far more meaty to really test the players. If that interests anyone do let me know.

Currently I'm making my own gay furry visual novel. It's slow going but I've got some good backgrounds and character templates, I even started writing some so I'm really on my way to actually making it. I'm really excited towards making it as it has been a dream of mine for quite awhile.

Hopefully I'll be able to produce a demo soon, before the end of the year though it depends on if I get an artist signed on or not. Well that's all I really wanted to say, thanks for reading.

Turning 23 in 3 days, whooo. Thanks to all the nice people who watch me and most importantly my wonderful boyfriend who has been with me for almost 5 whole come August.