Alrighty folks...I've been trying to get a lot of things squared away, but there has been a nice little addition to my "I WANNA DO THIS TOTALLY" list (I have a list? Oh well!). So, I went with a friend last night to an unofficial furmeet (didn't realize it was going to be more than three people)...there were like ten furs! I was naturally nervous since I've never been around so many furs in person before. And then it kinda hit me...I don't have much of anything (other than art) that represents what I am. And yet, someone asks me if I'd like to go to IFC. I'm thinking...well, HELL YES! It'd be my very first convention, ever, not just any furry kind, and on top of that, it's right in my hometown! And then I can meet  pandez and so many others! Oh the joy!

The only real issue that I have (it's not even money), is that I am going to be out of town starting this Sunday. I'll be gone until (hopefully) Friday. Now, if that works out, I'll be going to IFC Saturday morning and actually having fun and whatnot. I won't have any actual money to spend aside from my day pass, but hell...it's worth the $25 for a LOOOOOOOOOOT of fun! But, there's the possibility of the ride taking me from where I'll be, up to Indianapolis again, deciding not to actually do so (because he can be a real dick when he tries to get a girl...like, seriously, he'll drive two hours one way just to see one bimbo, drive back, and walk with my friend, talking about how horrible the date was. And this is after he's like, "Oh yeah, I know you had plans, but I decided to have plans of my own." Yeah. Real dick.). So...I'm hoping to be back by Friday sometime, and if he decides no, then I have no real way of going to the con except to blow off my best friend in real life (which I can't do, because he's not seen me since May, and he's a great friend, and I just can't say no on something like that).

So, I have that possibility...I'm clinging onto it for dear life (until I actually get there, and then I cling to everyone there X3)! Oh, I should probably talk a little about last night lol...

Last night, I went with a fur (same one as I did last week) but we went to KFC, which was right down the road from my house. Well, we had some nice chicken, met a few furs that actually live here in Indy, had a lot of fun. Played Three Dragon Ante (I lost, but it was a blast) and got to know a couple others really well. So, I had fun...talked about some of the things going on through here, talked about LoL (never played, but my interests are piqued, so I may try while at work ;3) so...yeah. I'm very interested in these turns of events. I'm sincerely hoping to go to IFC with these guys...it'd make my month! <33333333333333333





So, tl;dr: I may be going to IFC, don't know completely since I'll be out of town the week before so I'm trying to get that straightened out. Had a blast at a fun furmeet last night at KFC which was protesting against anti-gay corporations (like Chik-Fil-A). Happy! <3

Have fun everyone! Love you all!

Alrighty, firstly...I'm sorry to those that have left me messages, notes, comments, and whatnot. I've checked through them, and commented on what I felt needed to be commented on. And very sorry for those that left journals, I just basically nuked them all (I wasn't going to sort through over 80 journals just to get the good ones). If there was something important I needed to see, note me (or comment on this journal).

Second, I've been neglecting this place because I've been getting to know my mate. Yes, I have a mate now, for those that didn't look at my attention whore journal ;3 He's the love of my life, and I'm so deeply happy I have him! We've helped each other in so many different ways, and now I'm able to say, without a doubt in my mind, we will be spending our lives together! He's really the only one for me, and I'm the only one for him...we make each other complete in more ways than we can say.

He is  cithan and he is new to FA. We met on Google+, and he was very interested in the fandom, so I talked to him about it...and then he got an account. If you guys talk to him, he may post some of his drawings on here ^.=.^ just know that he may be a little shy..but he's still very amazing to me! I love him so much! <3 (EDIT: Also, he is bi, but his drawings are mainly female...he wanted me to say that X3)

Also, I may be writing a bit today, so please bear with me. I'm going to do two things, one on my project, the other is a surprise ;3 I don't know if I'll get it done today, but I'll just be working on it a bit.

Another note: For those that have me on Skype, I think I'm going to make it to where I'm on there when I'm at work. This is because I'm going to be stretched for time in the coming week, but I'll be able to get back into the swing of things (hopefully) because of this. Just know that I'll probably have to fight off everyone begging for my attention X3

Alrighty...I think that should be all. Take care everyone, I love you! <3
And I love my Cithan *snuggles tight* <333333

Yes, there's a spambot that is trying to spam my account. I have submitted a support ticket, but I don't know when it will be resolved. I copied the message, in its entirety, in the ticket. I wish there was a "Report" button right next to the message...but, oh well. Let's just hope this resolves it.

Old journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3686844/

I labeled it that way to say that this post is literally about me. Oh wait, that's what journals are for...among other things. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR SOME HORRIBLY AMAZING NEWS, DON'T KEEP READING THIS JOURNAL!

Yes, I am actually fucking amazingly happy! Truly happy, to the point literally nothing (and I mean nothing) cannot (and will not) shatter this!










Wanna know why? Oh shit, well I'll tell you all! But you gotta keep scrolling for this one!





















Nope, you're not done scrolling. Sorry!






























And now some random words to make you think I'm actually talking about why I'm happy (this is to tease you all and for my own general amusement. You see, when I'm really (and I mean REEEEEAAAALLY) happy, I become extremely playful. Like, to the point people really don't know how the hell I can seem depressive or just "oh, he's just fine." No, I turn fucking wicked playful, like a fox about to steal your cookies, eat them without you noticing, and scurrying the hell off before you realized shit just disappeared! I'm really that playful! Now, if I hurt someone's feelings when I'm like that, it literally kills that mood entirely...but, not this time! In fact, I don't think anything can keep me down for long anymore! Wanna know why? Oh wait, I was making you scroll for that information! X3



































Oh no, you're not done yet! Keep going!











































...OH ALRIGHT, FINE...Here's the real thing I wanted to say. I'm in love! And this time, it's real...it's not just me rushing in, it's not just "oh, it may be"...no. This is legitimate. And I have no remorse for any of it, at all! He is my true love, he is my twin flame. And I want to share him with the world...though, he just made his FA account very recently. So, I'm not going to say..but I'm sure you'll find him by looking X3

He's everything to me. No words can describe my love for him. He feels the same way, we've talked about many things. He sought me, on Google+, and was curious about the furry fandom. I told him the honest truth, that it is basically like our own society, except more condensed, and generally more loving. I also told him of the drama that can be associated with the fandom, however it did not shake him. So, I talked to him, guided him in. I also spoke of the spiritual, not so connected part of things. I'm not going to get into a debate or anything on that at all, just accept that he listened and enjoyed it, and it all sounded good to him :3

Anyway...We opened up to each other. We talked about many things, even about how similar we are (and I keep seeing the similarities in others as well, but with him...there was no question). He told me he never thought of another guy before...and it made me feel so deeply loved!

Tonight, was the deepest of things...everything literally just fell into place. We talked about our feelings before, but something just...clicked. I'm not going to say, since not many would understand (yet alone believe), but...it's just that deep. And no, it was not anything dirty, thankyouverymuch >.=.> But it was meaningful. Let tonight (and thusly, day), be the marking of the first day of our lives, in complete unison. July 24th, 2012...I met the love of my life, and I will NO LONGER seek a relationship of that deep of a level from anyone else. Now, it does not mean that I will not show affection for anyone else, because I couldn't just turn away from those that care so much about me. It's just that, he matters the absolute most to me. I love everyone...but I can no longer love everyone equally, like I tried so hard to do. I can't stay neutral on this anymore. Try as I might, I literally cannot. He is mine, completely...just as I am his. I will show love and kindness to others, but from here on, he gets my heart.

Thank you, for those that actually cared enough to read this. It does mean a lot...and you're all amazing! I love talking to everyone here...I'm so glad I have you all in my life! And now, I may be able to get my priorities completely straightened out (finally, I may add).

Thanks, and take care! <3333333333333333333333333333333

Now that I have your attention...

www.furaffinity.net/journal/3681257/


Read that.

Also

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3680139/ <--last journal

Have fun!

Alright...here's the situation. has a friend that lost a job opportunity, and she can't afford rent. She needs $500 in order to make rent, and it must be by the end of next week. Now, personally I'm not one to ask for money, or at least I try not to be, but if there was ever a place where money was needed, I think this would certainly qualify.

I don't have the information just yet, but I'll update this with it. You know as much as I do at this point. I'll keep you posted.

Journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3680075/


_______________

Fave Spree News:

I've been faving things, as well as talking to some people, for two days now...tomorrow (Sunday) will be day three. I have my submission inbox down to under 400. It's much slower when you're on a slow connection...but, oh well. I'll (hopefully) finish it off tomorrow...I've gone through over a thousand images today, spanning well over twelve hours of a timeframe. Still going, actually...so, when I can finally sleep, I should hopefully be under 300.

Anyway, thanks guys.

Stolen from (yes, they all did this X3)


Would You...
[] Push me into a wall and kiss me?
[] Come To My House To Do Nothing But Chill?
[] Slap Me?
[] Have Hard Core Sex With Me?
[] Slap Me If I Asked You To?
[] Lick/Suck My Neck?
[] Let Me Lick/Suck Your Neck?
[] Watch A Movie With Me?
[] Take Me Out To Dinner?
[] Take A Shower With Me?
[] Take Me Home For The Night?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed (With You)?
[] Take Me Anywhere With You?
[] Repost This For Me To Answer Your Questions?
[] Lock Me In Your room And Take Advantage Of Me?
[] Let me lock you in your room and Take Advantage of you?
[] Make me breakfast?
[] Tickle Me?
[] Let Me Tickle You?
[] Stick Up For Me If Someone Was Being Mean to Me?
[] Instant Message Me?
[] Greet Me In Public?
[] Hang Out With Me?
[] Hold my waist from behind while we are out?
[] Bring Me Around Your Friends?

Do You...
[] Miss Me?
[] Love Me?
[] Think I'm Hot?
[] Think I'm Cute?
[] Think I'm Ok?
[] Think I'm Ugly?
[] Want To Kiss Me?
[] Want To Cuddle With Me?
[] Want To Date Me?
[] Want To Love Me?

Am I...
[] Sweet?
[] Funny?
[] Cool?
[] lovable?
[] Adorable?
[] Great To Be With?
[] Attractive?
[] Mean?

Have You Ever...
[] Thought About Hooking Up With Me?
[] Found Yourself Wanting To Kiss Me?
[] Wished I Were There?
[] Had A Crush On Me?
[] Wanted My Number?
[] Had A Dream About Me?
[] Been Distracted By Me?
[] Thought About Fucking Me?

Are You...
[] Happy You Know Me?
[] Thinking About Me?
[] My Friend
[] A Freak-A-Leak

Oh, that's what it is! (thanks http://www.urbandictionary.com/defi.....eak%20a%20leak )


Just so ya know, Faving Spree is about to start up again! :3

Noticed I haven't been faving much of anything lately? That's right...tomorrow I get to do over 1500 faves (though some may be filtered out due to preferences of what I want in my faves). So...hide yo kids, hide yo wife, we gonna be favin' errythan out heah ;3

In other news, still saving money, hoping to get at least $100 more before I can officially say I can move, but I really want to get at least $600 total before I start the move-out process from here. Sadly, at this rate, may not be until the end of August, if I'm lucky. Plus I'm still buying my lunches, paying my phone, and now my mom is so short on money I have to help with her groceries and lunch. :/ Just not easy when I can't even get 10 hours a week...there isn't even that much to do. Unless it's outside, but I literally get heat exhaustion from being outside too long...oh well.

In the meantime, I really need to start writing. I keep saying I'm going to, but I never get around to it. But now...well, tonight, more accurately, I'm going to. Just because ;3

Anyway, short journal is short (for once) so...laters! <3

You start off with 100%, take away 1% with every X you put

100%

( )Smoked.
(X) Drank alcohol.
(x) Cried when someone died. (more like my cat)
(X) Been drunk.
(x) Had sex.
( ) Been to a concert.
(x) gotten/given a hand job.
(x) gotten/given a blowjob.
( ) Been verbally/sexually harassed.
( ) Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 94%

(x) Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
(x) Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
( ) Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
(x) Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
( ) Been to prom.
( ) Cried at school.
(X) Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
( ) Went streaking.
( ) Given or received a lap dance.
(x) Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 89%

( ) Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
( ) Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
(X) Kissed a stranger.
(x) Hugged a stranger.
( ) Went scuba diving.
( ) Driven a car.
(x) Gotten an x-ray.
(x) Hit by a car.
(x) Had a party.
( ) Done serious drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 84%

( ) Played strip poker/darts.
( ) Got paid to strip for someone.
(x) Run away from home.
( ) Broken a bone.
( ) Eaten sushi.
( ) Bought porn.
(x) Watched porn
(x) Made porn
(X) Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
(x) Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 79%

(x) Made Out.
(x) Laughed so hard you cried.
(x) Cried yourself to sleep.
( ) Laughed yourself to sleep.
( ) Stabbed yourself.
(x) Shot a gun
( ) Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
(x) Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
(x) Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
( ) Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 73%

( ) Watched a person die.
(x) Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person.
(x) Pranked somebody.
( ) Put somebody in the hospital.
( ) Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
(X) Kissed somebody of the same sex.
( ) Dressed punk.
( ) Dressed goth.
( ) Dressed preppy.
( ) Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 70%

(x) Avoided somebody.
( ) Been stalked.
( ) Stalked someone.
(x) Met a celebrity.
(x) Played an instrument.
(x) Ridden a horse.
(X) Cut yourself. (By accident.)
( ) Bungee jumped.
( ) Ding dong ditched somebody.
( ) Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 65%

( ) Got caught stealing something.
(x) Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
( ) Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
( ) Gone out with your friend's crush
( ) Got arrested.
( ) Been pregnant.
(x) Babysat.
( ) Been to another country.
( ) Started your house on fire.
(X) Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 62%

( ) Donated your hair to cancer patients.
(x) Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
( ) Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
(x) Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
(x) Sat on your butt all day.
( ) Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
(x) Had a job.
( ) Gotten cut from a sports team.
( ) Been called a whore.
( ) Danced like a whore.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 58%

(x) Been mistaken as older than your own age.
(x) Been in a car accident.
(x) Been told you have beautiful eyes.
(x) Been told you have beautiful hair.
( ) Raped somebody.
(x) Danced in the rain.
(x) Been rejected.
( ) Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
(x) Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
( ) Been raped.

TOTAL: 51%

Alright, first thing is first. How the hell did I already get over a thousand pageviews!? Am I really that popular already? Or has someone been checking my page that much? It's confusing me...but...damn! o.=.o

Second, I've updated my profile page drastically. It's also in technicolor ;3
A side note on the profile update...I've changed the Facebook link to go to a new profile. If you added me before, add the new one. Trust me...you'll want to, since the old one will disappear soon.
Another thing for the update is...I've repressed a LOT of things, and a lot of emotions of people that I don't talk to anymore. This also has repressed a lot of memories of them. Please know that I'm trying to stop repressing now...it's very challenging, to the point I have to torture myself to get myself to cry in order to stop repressing. I've repressed almost two decades of things...so it's going to take time to heal. Once I do, I'll be more talkative, and hopefully actually cheerful.

Third...I plan to be slightly more active. I'm going to try to post some written works, but I'm also working on a site that will allow me to post them. If anyone is familiar with using WordPress and knows any plugins to help in submitting documents, please let me know. I don't want to post everything in blog posts, or it will all be out of order (and that's atrocious for what I want). But anyway, I'll be posting some of my older works here, and also post some new ones (hopefully) when the time comes. I may even take requests and leave a tip jar for donations (trying to move to Georgia, and the money is hard to come by, even when I work, since I'm lucky if I get 10 hours a week).

Anyway...let me know what you guys think. I'm still wondering how I got so many pageviews so fast...I guess I'm somehow getting popular? I just hope I don't get too popular...that may drive me a bit insane, heh

Ok...so, it keeps becoming more and more obvious that I feel that I'm starting to lose my sanity. It's so much, so potent, and so chilling, that I can't tell if it's from everything that has built up, or my caffeine addiction, or if my mentality is so shot that this is just how I am anymore. I'm literally losing my mind...and it's so much that I don't know how I can properly handle myself anymore.

So...I'm going to be around for limited times throughout the week. The rest of the time, I need to be by myself...if only to cope with myself. I don't want to do any damage, to anyone...things are just...hard to handle now...I care about you all...but this pain is just too much anymore...I'm sorry...

...I'm SO mad right now.

I'm enraged...and the reason? Fucking scum of a "human" decided it'd be fun to manipulate one of my closest friends for four years as they were in a relationship. And I met this person...and saw him for what he was, right as I met him. I convinced the friend of what was going on...and the manipulator decided to try and make it look like he was the victim. I called him out on it, and deleted him before he had a chance to retaliate.

People who do that are worse than shit, and don't deserve any happiness because they have done an act much worse than anything that could ever be done. He manipulated someone into thinking he was loved...only to hurt him deeply in the end. That's worse than bullshit...and if I EVER witness that again, I'll ensure they are exposed.

If you, or anyone you know, knows this person on FA, block them immediately: hellcatisabella

They don't deserve to live...says he's transgender, wanting to be a woman, but that's not why he's piss-poor to me. It's because he fucking screwed with one of my friends...and I'm more than outraged. I'm livid, and I will NOT tolerate this. Ever.

EDIT: This is the one that was manipulated, and he even posted a journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3620215/

Well...I've been thinking a lot...and I keep thinking, and thinking more and more. There's a huge problem with that, however. There's a huge storm, in my mind, constantly. Especially lately. It is a storm, that refuses to pass. It's a storm that, for some reason, cannot end, no matter what, for it is simply within my thoughts.

I keep wondering about everything. Whether it may be the weather (no pun intended), the opinions of others about me, how I can help others, my move to Georgia, my family and how they will cope when I'm gone, my own spirituality, my "fursona," those that used to care about me, any prospects of just building computers, writing, drawing, taking proper care of my body, fitting in without trying to force yourself to fit in, on and on and on...I can't stop thinking.

All of this keeps bringing up a lot of stress on me. It's so intense that I keep feeling sick and my mind literally freezes when anything nice and truly touching actually is shown to me. I don't know how to understand any of it...but, maybe I should stop thinking entirely? I mean, thinking is what creates about 90% of my stress...so, if I stopped thinking, maybe it would free me up to be happy.

Just a thought...feel free to ignore...maybe I will try it...and see if that does something.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3601888/

Everyone, please help support the development of this small business. Thanks!

is giving away free gecko hugs for anyone! No strings attached! Just give a reference, or some sort of description, and you can get a hug! Just go here for it: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8253968/

Have fun!

It's come to this...as I thought it would, but not this soon. I'm going to be going through each and every single bit of myself, my beliefs, my core values...everything that defines me. Everything I am, I will refine. My spirituality is always refined, but now...I'm going back even further. I'm going to look at what defines me. What makes me special. What makes me..."me." I need this. It is nothing anyone can help me with. I need this time, for contemplation. I need to reflect upon everything that is a part of me. Every detail, every belief, thought, action, reaction. I must contemplate myself. Everything about myself. If I am to ever understand and make peace with myself, I must allow this. And it may take awhile. Days, weeks, months even. I must do this.

I do this, from time to time. It means that I may not talk much, or that I may talk a lot. Usually it's the former. Currently I'm in a calm state of mind, so while this may seem like a mid-life crisis, I am not suffering from any kind of "crisis" at all. I am perfectly fine, but I do need to refine myself, and ensure that everything that makes me unique, is fine...and that anything I don't need, is simply pruned. It's how I keep my sanity, is to contemplate on this level. I'll be fine though...there's no need to worry ^.=.^

I am much different from most people, I feel, in this. Not many people contemplate every single detail, just to help them see why they are the way they are. But this is me. I am going through some things, yes, but I am going to also do this. It is needed. Do not worry. Do not try to stop this process. I need to define myself, to myself, in order to understand and love myself. This is why I do this.

At any rate...I'll still check things from time to time. I'll talk here and there. You can note me, if you wish. I'll still talk. I love everyone here. You are all kind to me. Never forget this. I'll still be here.

Take care <3

So, I'm getting myself together...it's still a bit difficult to understand just how deeply pushed I've been, just to where I'm finally able to get out, but...damn...

I think a lot of my thoughts and feelings are reflective of my current living conditions. Not sure how, but...it is possible. I used to be extremely intelligent, in a way, when I was younger. This was not brought on by my parents, or homework, however. I watched a lot of educational shows on TV, including Wishbone, Arthur, The Magic Schoolbus, and quite a few others. However, as I got older, and started slacking on homework, everyone around me kept saying I was lazy, and then I kept getting punished for it severely. I suppose it was the enforcement of being told I was lazy, that made me lazy. I'm trying to change, but...it's not easy.

There are many things about me that I have to change. I apologize almost all the time, my thinking even reflects how I write "Those little "..." in my writing reflects the pauses in my thinking) and there's probably a lot more. However...I realize I have issues. I'm trying to get out of the environment that created them before I start truly working on them. Otherwise, I'll just go right back to square one...again, and again.

Anyway, I do plan on moving in with one of two friends. One lives in the northeast US, one lives in the south. Not sure which I'll go to, but I'm thinking of the one in the south, because there's a lot we have in common (like, it's almost looking into a mirror, it's that much in common). Plus, I think it may be easier...he's older and generally knows more about things than I do. Plus, I look up to him as a father figure, and I don't mean that just because I never had a father. He just...feels like one to me, and I deeply, deeply need that.

Anyway, yeah...I'm truly hoping for something to work. Wherever I go I'll have to pay rent, but I hope to figure that out. I have thoughts and ideas, but time will tell. May even start doodling and set up a tip jar ;3 Just for donations, not actually doing commission work. It'd be too stressful for me to attempt that, plus I don't like forcing people to pay me for things. But donations would be lovely...I just hate asking...heh.

But yeah...there ya go...most of my life in a nutshell right now. Hope you're all doing well. I love you all <3

EDIT: I have been shown by friends that my situation is much worse than I ever imagined. I'm in an abusive family. I'm being mentally abused by being criticized and expectations have been enforced upon me, to the extreme that it's been damaging me. It's...so hard to understand, yet alone see the exact problem...I've never faced anything like this, and as I type this, someone is helping me figure out how and when I should leave. He's trying to help me find a way to get to his place, right now...it's so sudden...it scares me...I'm sorry...Just..so much is piling on...maybe this is what is supposed to happen, heh...

My emotions...are literally so intense right now, I can't sleep. Try as I might, sleep will not come to me. Everything I do, every single thought that crosses my mind, leaves me restless. So many emotions cloud me that I can't begin to write them, yet alone explain why. None of them are positive.

It's making me wonder, if I leave this place, what will become of my family. Part of me doesn't care, the other part wants to be here for them. However, my heart screams that I must leave, if only so I can get into a more positive setting. I'm losing my mind, just sitting in my room, talking to my friends, seeing what I can do to help...when I can't even help myself at this point. I just want to leave...I truly do...and go out, figure out what I can do to help others.

I don't even know what I can do for money, once I do leave. The most I can do is maybe fix and build computers, mainly desktops, for people. The least I can do is offer some sort of service, maybe Tarot or Reiki, but even at that I really don't want to make money like that...I want to help, but I don't want to be forced to charge people for what I do. I want to do things because I feel like it, not because it's a chore. And it's starting to feel like everything is a chore lately. And now...even sleeping is a chore.

I don't really know what to do right now. I'm even being called into work today, on my day off, because of one thing, and then I won't even be able to go back home for a few hours after. Have to buy my own food as well. I just can't catch a break right now. No peace, within me. Something has me so truly troubled within, despite as much healing I try to go through. My balance is gone. What disturbs it?

These questions are troubling me, for I know the outside turmoil is simply a reflection of what is inside me. My soul itself is in chaos, yet there seems to be no way of finding the answer. There's too much change, yet still not enough, as I'm obviously trying to adapt to so much at once. I don't even know the issue. I'm just..torn from within, and my life is proving it. Once I solve my inner conflicts, I will be at peace again. But to do that, I don't know what must be done. So, I'm stuck within the duality of positive and negative. Blades of light and dark try to shatter the other, and so much bloodshed can be seen. Yet, not one body is on the ground. I need to free myself from the struggle, somehow. I require inner balance. If I don't gain back my balance again, I will be consumed by the imbalance.

I...may require time away from here. I don't know for sure, but it may become a possibility. I'll make sure to let anyone know if that happens, but right now...my thoughts are too conflicted to make that an inevitability. I need time to think this through. Most importantly, my balance must be regained. That's the only time I can achieve peace, and thus, be able to do what I truly want, with anything.

I love everyone here. I love my Treasure, who I know will be reading this. And to him, I apologize for not talking much in the last few days. But so much has been on my mind. I don't even know who I am right now...and the last thing I want to do is cause harm. I only seek peace. It just feels so unobtainable right now.

...As much as it pains me to say this...I've hit a very, very troubled time. I honestly don't know how to say all of this, but if I don't, then it will just keep eating away at me. So...I have to tell you.

These next few weeks are going to test everything I am. Physically, mentally, emotionally...even socially. Every bit of me is going to go through something I thought I never would have to. I've tried helping others with things like this in the past, only I never really thought I'd do the same thing...but...now it's come to a point in which I cannot stay with my family any longer. My real life family, is so twisted and pulled down by anger and rage, that it all hurts me anymore.

My family tries to be nice...but there's so much complaining, anger, and all of it just shatters me emotionally. I can't handle anger, or negativity...it truly and deeply hurts me...and now I'm in fear of what life is going to push my way. I can't live under this roof anymore...I just can't...just being here is destroying me. My mom says I like things sugar-coated, but she has no idea how much pain I've endured, not even just under this roof, but at school, and with my friends...So much, have I tried to help others in the past, fearing anger, fearing more pain, even fearing their own safety...and she thinks I like things to be "sugar-coated" and that's even in her words. This family of mine complains about everything...money, the government, how much God isn't in the schools...My grandmother's asphalt company she owns and that most of my family works for is failing, she's over a quarter of a million dollars in debt (I'm not exaggerating, it used to be worth over a million) and that's just the amount I know about. My family complains about my aunt, who is a sociopath, but at least my aunt seems to be trying to get her life together somehow...

I just need out...and I have no real way out...I have college loans that I'll have to start paying, and my phone bill (I use my phone to connect wirelessly between the phone towers and my laptop) and then I have to pay for my own meals at work. I wanted to save up money for traveling, plus I had some stashed up from months back for a commission, and now I don't even have the money to pay the person...every amount I get from work, it's gone before the next paycheck. No car, no license, not even a permit...I want to sell a lot of my possessions just to get some sort of money, but I can't do shipping...I just...don't have much of anything I can do...nowhere to go...no money...nothing...

It even hurts to type all of this, because I don't like bringing anyone down...I really don't like telling others how I feel because I don't want to be seen as a burden...and I don't want to scare anyone either...I know some people have been scammed, and lied to...and I don't want to be seen like that at all...I'm just...so scared...so horribly scared...and it eats at me...the pain hurts me so much, sometimes I don't even feel it, it just gets repressed before I can...I don't want to be seen as a monster...I don't want to be seen as someone that hurts others...I like to be kind...I love showing I care...but...this time, I need healing...so much healing...and I don't know where else to turn...I'm not that public of a person...but this is too much to keep contained...especially when it hurts me so deeply...

I'm sorry guys...Just...so much pain...and fear...I don't ask for support like this...but I really don't know where else to go...at all...I'm sorry...I love you all...it just...hurts...

Alright then...To those wondering, have fun with the other journal over here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3519345/ as it contains something that I am joyous about!

And now, questions. I wasn't tagged, but I figured I may be at some point, so...may as well write this up when I have the chance. Don't copy answers, but you may copy the questions ;3

---

1. What does your FurAffinity name mean and why?
Honestly, I came up with it randomly. "Rinvis" was just a throwaway name I used on a few sites, but it has since stuck with me. I hope noone finds those sites ^.=.^;;

2. What fandom were you obsessed with when you joined and what are you into now?
Actually, dragons...of course, any question pertaining to when I "joined" will be seen as "when I first joined," not, "when I first made this particular account."

3. How many watchers do you have now?
58 watchers. I'm surprised I even have that many lol

4. Name 3 of your favorite artists on FA.
I don't play favorites when it comes to artists. Everyone is wonderful in their own way...though  vulpes is a good one ^.=.^

5. Do you comment, fav, or both?
It depends...I go on fave sprees, so I tend to get a LOT of images piled up before I fave them, leaving them open in my browser. But I comment on things I feel are worth it.

6. Do you participate in clubs' contests here on FA?
I have no reason to, yet. I need to really start practicing more X3

7. What is your most popular submission?
It doesn't matter, most are miscellaneous, though a couple are worth it.

8. What are your favorite non-anime TV shows?
Not sure, really...I have some favorites but I don't keep up lol

9. What are the things you wish you could draw better?
Everything...I seek to always improve myself.

10. Summer or winter?
Winter. Love the cold much more than heat. At least I don't get overheated in the cold.

11. Rain or Sun?
It depends on my mood, but I don't like getting wet when I'm wearing clothes.

12. What's your favorite type of music?
Trance, Techno, Ambiance, Environmental, Tracker, Dubstep (the real stuff, not the shitty kind on Youtube, but the stuff on Newgrounds that actually sounds good)

13. PC or Mac?
Never had a Mac, don't think I want to..so, PC.

14. Anime or Manga?
Both, though I prefer anime.

15. Coke or Pepsi?
Pepsi, when I want soda...otherwise, sweet tea with lemon please!

16. Read or TV?
Ha...ahahahahahahaha....I sit my ass on a computer, and you ask if I prefer TV or reading. I think the answer is already known.

17. How many hours a day do you spend on FA?
It fluctuates, and depends on who is talking.

18. Name a hidden talent.
I'm an empath. I can read into the emotions of others in order to find the root causes of their pain, in an attempt to purify them. (It sounds weird, but I'm talking about in rl)

19. Flash or traditional cartoons?
I don't pay attention to the difference, really.

20. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
I don't care for fast food much, honestly.

21. What are your top 3 favorite books?
Harry Potter (all of them), The Dark Side of Nowhere, and anything Anne McCaffrey.

22. Wii or Playstation?
Playstation...supporting my awesomeness since 1995!

23. Name 3 of your favorite bands/singers.
I don't really listen to much with lyrics, but I suppose Owl City, Linkin Park, and...oh! Celtic Woman!

24. Are you a fast, slow, or medium typist?
I can type somewhat quickly, but I take a leisurely pace unless I must type very quick.

25. Do you like Denny's?
Just had that two days ago...X3

26. What is your favorite smiley?
^.=.^

27. What is your favorite type of pie?
Keylime.

28. Have you ever stayed up for 24 hours?
You've no idea.

29. Do you go on YouTube a lot?
Pfft.

30. Are you a member on any other sites besides FA?
Google+, Spirit Science, and a couple others.

31. Do you cosplay?
Yes, a bit...but isn't that really supposed to be with anime? Why are these more to do with anime than furry? X3

32. Fruits or sweets?
I like both

33. Buttered, plain, or salted popcorn?
I can eat popcorn, but I prefer plain.

34. Have you skipped school?
Try an entire month (not at once) during my sophomore year..and that was in the second semester alone.

35. Have you been on a plane?
Yep

36. Have you swam in an ocean?
Yep

37. Have you been ice skating?
Dafuq!?

38. Favorite vacation spot?
Only had one...so I can't really say.

39. Ever been on TV?
Don't think so

40. Favorite salad and dressing?
Just a salad, with Ranch! <3

41. What do you do to relax?
Meditate.

42. What is the last film you saw in the theater?
I can't remember, really

43. Favorite Sandwich?
Fish sandwich.

44. If you could go anywhere in the world...
I'd go anywhere in the world, in that case ;3

45. Favorite time of the day?
Pfft...day...really? I prefer this "night" concept...ever heard of it? X3

46. What did you want to be when you were little?
A police offer...with a dog <3

47. What do you want to be now?
Someone that can be there for my friends.

48. If you could eat with one person, who would it be?
I think the person knows who they are.

49. What character would you hate to be stuck in a room with?
I'm neutral, and balanced...not many people can make me hate anything.

50. When is your birthday?
September 22nd.

51. Favorite type of ice cream?
Too many favorites X3

52. Last book you read?
I can't even remember...X3

53. Which store would you max out a credit card at?
Newegg.

54. Do you buy / sell / both on eBay?
Nope.

55. What is the most annoying thing people ask you?
"Do you have any scientific evidence to support your conclusion?" ...If it's an opinion, why does it need evidence!?

56. Favorite all time movie?
Don't have one.

57. What was your favorite show when you were a kid?
Digimon

58. What are you listening to right now?
The fan of my laptop, cars passing by my house...the occasional voice of my mother or aunt.

59. What is the last thing you ate?
Chicken pot pie...oh my, almost 8 hours ago. I really should eat something...

60. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
Colorless.

61. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
I don't swing that way ;3

62. Favorite sport to play?
Sports? I'm in IT, the fuck are sports!?

63. Favorite Day of the Year?
I don't have a favorite, honestly. Not even my birthday lol

64. Hugs or Kisses?
Either one

65. Vanilla or Chocolate?
Either one

66. Favorite Board Game?
Chess, checkers, Monopoly used to be one...dunno now.

67. Favorite smells?
Just before it rains, you can smell the ionized air...it's truly beautiful and almost as if it has love inside it

68. What inspires you?
My friends.

69. Do you have any piercings?
My left and right ears are pierced..I really need to get new earrings, these haven't been removed ever since they were put in ^.=.^;

70. How many siblings do you have?
Two brothers, in real life.

71. Bacon Bits or croutons?
Croutons...however you spell them X3

72. Favorite Day of the Week?
Sunday...day of fucking rest! X3

73. Favorite phrase?
"Light brings darkness; darkness carries light."

74. Favorite Restaurant?
Olive Garden

75. Favorite animal
I don't have one, despite my affinity with dragons.

76. Favorite thing to do outside
Walk.

77. Favorite thing to do when it's raining?
Stay in my room

78. Favorite Disney character?
Don't have one

79. Do you like coffee? If so, what is your favorite brand?
Actually, the closest thing I like to coffee is a doubleshot mocha.

80. Tag 3 people
Actually, if you read it, you're tagged. >:3

Yes... fitting title for what I'm about to say. Let me just say, I am quite taken by someone, around here...He prefers to remain anonymous, so I refuse to name names, but he is amazing to me...I'm completely taken by him, and I am so truly happy. It's not anything that is shallow to me, like my other relationships seemed to be...this one is deep, truly deep, and meaningful to me. And if I ever am allowed to share who he is with the world, I'll be truly elated...but right now, I'm honestly happy enough with keeping my Treasure safe and in my grasp <3

I love you all!

Alright...so, I know my last journal dealt with me talking about my emotions, but I just had to take a test on it. It may explain in more detail a little bit about me. So, here.

---

Aesthetic


You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.

You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

(This is why I'm so into many things in my life, including spirituality and the furry fandom)

Sympathetic


You have a knack for knowing what's going on in the hearts and minds of those around you, without their having to tell you explicitly. People tend to turn to you with their problems because they know you care, and that you will likely offer good advice and a helping hand.

You do not feel that people with sad stories are just looking for attention, or have brought their problems upon themselves.

(Exactly, it fits in with my empathy)

Original


You are constantly coming up with new ideas. For you, the world as it exists is just a jumping-off place; what's going on inside your mind is often more interesting than what's going on outside.

You don't feel that the road to success is to be a realist and stick to the program; you never stop yourself from coming up with new ideas or telling the world what you're thinking about.

(Definitely true)

Curious


You like to get to the bottom of things. You're not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.

You don't simply take things as they are and move on; you're not content skimming along on the surface; you don't feel you're wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.

(Hehehe...spot-on.)

Empathetic


You are in touch with your own feelings, which helps put you in touch with the feelings of others.

You don't buy the logic that your happiness comes ahead of everyone else's because unless you're happy you're incapable of making anyone else happy.

(Ah, this test actually understands a lot)

Creative


You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the "creative" trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.

You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.

(Ah, it slightly differs...I'd make it better in IT than anything, heh)

Warm


You have a genuine interest in other people. You're a natural host, and are always thinking about how you can increase the happiness of those around you. When friends have problems or are in trouble, you're usually the first person they turn to for aid and comfort. Scoring high on the "warm" trait suggests that you are among those who enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.

You don't always say exactly what you're thinking; you don't like the idea of causing anyone pain because of your criticism.

(Oh, something digital sees my heart...no, I'm not being sarcastic lol)

Cooperative


You enjoy teamwork, play well with others, and prefer getting along to winning.

You're not compelled to win every contest nor to be right all the time.

(If I wanted to be right, I'd be a woman ;3 (I'm sorry ladies, I tease))

Understanding


You are willing to take the time to find out what's going on with other people, especially if they're in distress. You're a good listener, you don't criticize, and you offer unbiased, respectful, honest advice when it's requested. With a high score on the "understanding" trait, it is likely that you are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.

You don't feel the need to impose your standards on others or say things that, even though true, cause pain.

(I'd never want to hurt anyone, I just want to do what I can to help <3)

Tender


You are gentle with others, both physically and emotionally. You are careful not to upset people and go out of your way to find the nicest way to say something. You naturally focus on the fact that the world is full of wonderful people, places, and things. More often than not, people with a high score on the "tender" trait enjoy spending time with children, love romantic movies, and are enthusiastic about making the world a better place.

You don't think of yourself as tough-minded or gruff, nor do you need to be seen as some kind of objective source of truth and rationality.

(I like to give opinions when I can, but I don't want to create harm just to get my thoughts across.)

---

Alrighty, if you want you own, just go here: http://www.signalpatterns.com/

Keep in mind you have to register in order to get your report. I tried dodging it but it lied and gave me an image lol

I didn't want to put this into a submission...but I felt you all needed to know this. It's rather important, heh.

The thing about me, is that my moods are very volatile. The reason is because I tend to feel the same emotions of those I talk to, or "empathy"...I don't know who will believe this or not, but it's true...and I can prove it. I can usually tell the emotions hidden within someone, something they don't usually think about until I bring it up...this has failed maybe 2-3% out of all the times I've done this. But that's not what this is about.

I'm telling you guys this because it can very subtly affect my mood...it becomes so drastic after awhile...and brings up my own fears and pains if that is the focus...and this leaves me quite vulnerable. It's one of the many reasons I've stayed hidden...I don't want to get hurt...nor do I want to hurt anyone...I just want people to be happy.

Now, I'm not saying this to counter my previous journal (over here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3482721/ ) but I am saying this to warn you guys that I'm still healing and getting over my past, and some of the pain associated with it. Now, the events in my past taught me very important lessons to life, so I don't regret those...but I want to pain to no longer affect me, so I'm trying very hard to make that into truth.

I'm normally very calm and gentle, and I can never hurt a fly...hurting anyone, even accidental, always hurts me so truly deeply. I have problems with hurting anyone because I have a fear of failure...I never want to let anyone down, so if I hurt someone, that's me letting them down. I want to talk to everyone, but my attention span is greatly limited...I've been trying to figure out ways to concentrate on more at once, but it's just not working. So all I can do is focus on things the best I can.

I can be perverted, flirty, happy, sad, scared, timid, shy, or void of emotions....there are occasions I can be angry, but that doesn't happen often at all. I'm usually an open book...even with my thoughts. And, I tend to believe a lot of things on a spiritual basis, but please don't lie...it's my biggest pet peeve.

The one thing I cannot stand is manipulation of any sort...I had to endure a nightmare involving it, which I refuse to talk about other than that, but it was the worst time of my life...I never want to deal with that again, ever. Sadly, my aunt is still alive, heh...so, I have to be careful of her. Though she wasn't as bad as the actual thing that happened.

I care about all of my friends...and I've been through so much, that I lost the meaning of the word "friendship" for a long time...but I'm learning it again...because I just want to be there for those that care about me. They all deserve so much kindness and love...so I do my best to give it to them. Though, it doesn't mean I can be there all the time...I have work, and I work from 7 AM-5 PM a lot of the time. So, I have that, and I get very exhausted, especially when you factor in heat...so, I have to rest when I get home...and then, I want to focus on some level of art or something because I like to be creative...but since I can't hold up a conversation while sketching, it becomes difficult for me to pick and choose, heh.

I'll still try to help when I can...and I'll try to talk when possible...but I can't dedicate my life to it..I love my friends, but I need time alone as well, if only to shake off the other moods of others that I tend to pick up, heh. Oh, some people may see me as online on here...it's because this site works the best with my connection. For an idea of my connection speed at home, look at this: http://www.speedtest.net/result/1973702940.png

Also...I must say something else...I'm still trying to learn how to feel emotions with my heart, instead of my mind..it's a huge adjustment to me...and it's going to take a lot of time before I truly can do it without thinking, but I'll get there...in the meantime, if I slip up, please forgive me...I try so hard to ensure nothing is wrong, but I still make mistakes...so please be careful...I can be so fragile sometimes.

I love you all...I love everyone...some may find it creepy, but I truly do love everyone...it's how I am. Anyway..I better leave this at that for now. Please take care <3 and PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, COMMENT...even if it's just a little something saying you read. I'm needing some sort of reassurance here ;.=.;

I've finally found a solution to a lot of things...found the answer to a lot of my problems, and it was something I thought I was already doing...but I was truly, truly wrong. And it was that misunderstanding that made me fearful of so much...so truly much.

I'm shaking as I write this...because of everything going through my mind right now...the amount of emotions I'm feeling are amazing, terrifying, and anomalous...I've finally learned the reason for why people care about me. Why so many people care...and it's not something I can logically process. It's something I have to truly feel with my heart.

I thought I felt with my heart...but I was just thinking I felt whatever the emotion was. I was lying to myself, without even realizing it. I didn't know it was possible...I truly am shocked that I didn't see it before. And so many people tried to help me see it before...So many of my friends, that truly wanted to help, truly wanted to get me to share with them my thoughts, my feelings...but I was so blinded by trying to help them, that pain blinded me. They were warning me...they were telling me to share things with them, because if I didn't, then I would've lost my mind, and my thoughts.

AND I DID...I grew fearful..I lost myself...I lost my playful self...I was consumed by so much pain, it tormented me. I was gasping for breath, just to think of why I was even cared about, thinking it all just brought pain to me. Yet I still wanted to help...but I just didn't know WHY it was ME that was CARED about!

WHY ME? WHY ME? I always asked that damn question...that question that haunted me for so long, that I despised, that I wanted to destroy! I wanted to take it and destroy it...It taunted me, it mocked me, teased me, prodded me, and stabbed me in the heart, time and time again. It infuriated me...and caused me my most suffering...because I didn't understand it at all...I just didn't..and I never could..because I didn't let anyone near my heart...I couldn't let them see or feel what I felt...it was too much...I didn't want to cause pain..I didn't want them to bear the same burden I did.

But...this was wrong...I WAS WRONG...I was an idiot...for ever thinking this! Friends are for love, I said. Friends tell friends everything, I said...AND YET, I WAS A FOOL! I WAS THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THEM ALL, BECAUSE I DIDN'T EVEN LISTEN TO MYSELF! I was so naive...And the funny, twisted part is...I thought I was showing love, by ignoring their wants and needs to help me back!

To those wondering, I'm not crying...I'm laughing at my own idiocy! I'm actually laughing at myself! No, not in a negative way...it's helping me release this pain and tension! I'm putting passion into this because I actually feel joy! I feel love! Things I thought I felt before, when I didn't actually feel them! They were sham emotions...the only thing real was the pain, and that's only because I didn't know how to let love counter it! I didn't know how to let kindness in...I couldn't accept it! Couldn't let others be more kind to me...it was always me...and in spite of how selfless I was being...I WAS SO FUCKING SELFISH! I HAD TO BE THE KIND ONE, THE CARING ONE! I HAD TO SHOW MORE LOVE...AND WHAT FOR? ATTENTION? MORE LOVE? MORE KINDNESS? NOPE! SIMPLY BECAUSE IT JUST HAD TO BE ME!

I can't believe how full of myself I was, without even seeing it! I thought kindness was love...but the way I carried it out...was selfish...because I let myself take the pain...and I never really opened up...and it's why I stayed away from so many friends for the last two years, possibly more...I let myself bear the pain...I was selfish with pain. Who does that!? It's like I was a masochist!

But now...I see love...I actually see love...not sham love...pure, unfiltered...raw, love...the kind that needs no words...that needs nothing more than me to focus on the one I care about...and to feel their love pour into me...that's what I feel now...I don't need more than that...It doesn't matter if I'm even in a relationship anymore...I could be single for the rest of my life, and as long as I had my friends, I'd be perfectly happy!

So, to those that don't understand...just know, that I'm probably going to try to talk more openly...I used to fear so much...I still kinda fear things, but at least now I can tell my friends about it. The ones that truly understand will be the ones that stay with me. And that's all that matters...and as long as they'll bear with me, in my times of joy and times of sorrow...I think I'll be fine!

If you read this, thank you so very much...And I hope you don't think I'm mad or anything, I'm actually happy right now! A little afraid of what may happen with this, but happy! Because, I'm vulnerable here...but in order to truly have friends, I have to be able to be vulnerable in front of them.

Alright, I'm going to start taking a more proactive approach in my story writing. However, this isn't going to be something I'm doing alone, and that's where I need you guys to help. This is a unique opportunity, one that can help you prove your creative writing skills, and contribute to something anomalous. This is not a typical creative writing project. This will take a LOT of effort in order to do, yet alone perfect. This is where you all come in.

I'm establishing a multi-story arch, multi-author project where anyone can contribute. I'm looking for people who are willing to help me get this off the ground, and who better to ask than the most creative community I know? I do need to ask that everyone work with me in order to make this happen though, because I will be heading the project. I won't force anything on it, but I do have some form of how I want to make this happen. It's important that you all feel your efforts can flourish, so rules will only be in place when they are a must. Noone directly rules over the project itself, but things are voted upon depending on how things go.

We're using Wikia to support this kind of project, as it has the least stipulations on pages, storage, and freedom. However, WE DO NOT FOLLOW THE WIKIA COPYRIGHT POLICY BECAUSE THIS PROJECT NEEDS PROTECTION WITH MORE THAN WHAT THEY ALLOW. We will be under the Creative Commons Attribution-Non Commercial 2.5 License. This will ensure our works are protected without stifling the creativity of those wishing to contribute. It also protects our works from commercial exploits (this is supposed to be a collaborative effort, though requesting donations for your effort should be fine as it's not an enforced amount).

I'm trying to get this off the ground, but I need people willing to dedicate a little time to make it happen. If you know Wiki markup, you're especially valuable for setting everything up, though it is not required. I'm just looking for people to help set up some basic things. I'm going to add a namespace for stories as soon as it's decided everything can go forward with it, but right now we need basics. We need main races of people, technology, and different things along those fronts. You can add whatever you want, but anything major (major races that will take part in this, major wars, alliances, etc) must be approved by a majority of people working on the story.

If you want to help, please visit the wiki page over here: http://isamainframe.wikia.com and look around. Feel free to add some articles, and if I feel it's worthy to include into things, I'll make sure to let you know. But before anything, I encourage you all to read the mini-story I'm about to post to show a little bit of what can be done. I don't have all that information added into the wiki just yet, but I am working on getting as much as I can done with the wiki itself first.

Hope everyone has fun. Also, even if you don't decide to look at this, please spread this around because I'm trying to get as many people as possible on this.

Thanks everyone!

--Raiok/Wasdramer/Rinvis