Borderland 2

September 18th

Because I'm a gamer, the original was awsome, and Borderlands 2 is looking to be an amazing sequel. And because I feel like it.

Go watch the trailer now (and I don't know how to imbed videos. If any of you know, let me know): http://www.gametrailers.com/video/d.....lands-2/727111

So, recently I reevaluated where I stand in life. Nothing drastic, no midlife crisis, but at the age of 24, I’m not where I want to be. So I looked at where I am, where I want to be, and how to get there. And, after doing that, I’ve come to a few conclusions:

- I don’t want to stay at my current job any longer than I have to
- I have absolutely no idea how to get into the game industry as either a writer or designer, and “Creative Director”, where I really want to be, is by no means an entry level position
- I really want to write as part of my living

Looking at these wants, one thing became clear; I need to put my focus and dedication into being an author. I need to write, create stories, and get published. If I can make the equivalent of what I’m making now (about $12 an hour) through self publishing, I’d be happy while I worked on moving up the ranks. While I’m working on my writing craft, I’m also establishing part of what I want to do in the game industry. While I’m self employed as a writer, I can dictate my schedule in researching and developing the skills needed to become a designer, using my finances to go to things like the Game Developers Conference, where I can meet people in the industry and learn from those on the inside what one needs to break in. With this plan, I know have part of what I feel I’ve been lacking in my life since I graduated college; a plan in life. And I feel good about it.

On a related note of introspection leading to changes is something that relates to FA. A lot of people I watch here have something that defines their presence on the site and in the fandom, be it solid or subtle. They have a discernable and recognizable presence that is “them” within the furry community. It really hit me recently that I distinctly lack this. Oh, I have a few stories here and there, most grounded within the work of others however, and I’ve made a few friends here. But at the same time I’m kind of apart from the community rather than being a part of it. I seek to change that because I’ve met so many great people here and I really want to immerse myself more into it, potential drama be damned.

My muse, Damian, was the first step in realizing this. While he’s not my fursona, and I may honestly never have one, he is in a way a presence of me within the furry community. He’s not me, but he represents a part of me, and part of that part of my wants to be more expressive here. In the near future, I will be creating a cast of characters, who inhabit the creative expanse of my mind (yes, that is their established setting), who I intend to make unique to me, and be my “brand”, as it were, here on FA. I will carve out my own space here in the fandom, something I can show off as being my presence within it, characters I can be proud to call my own, and perhaps be recognized as unique and interesting furrys of my creation. Like I said, Damian is the first, and I plan of telling you much more about him (or, more likely, I’ll have him tell you). Another has entered my mind as well, and she’s a persistent one, even if I can’t fully see her yet, but I’m sure you’ll meet her soon enough. Well, if you want to get technical she doesn’t actually have a gender, but has a feminine form she calls her own and it seems wrong to call her “it”. Others will join them, and I hope you’ll enjoy coming to know them even as I do.

That’s all for now. Just letting you all know that I’m in a surprising good mood at the moment (despite the knowledge that I have to work yet another Saturday at work) with my recent thoughts, and I wanted to share it. Now it’s almost time for me to go to work, thinking of the best way to begin the road to self publishing (or other avenues), and ride the upward swell of feeling like I’ve got my life firmly in my hands once more.

PS: I need a new computer mouse; this one keeps double clicking on me and it's annoying as hell.

Just as a shot in the dark and out of perhaps narcissistic curiosity, but who of you out there might be interested if I opened up requests or commissions? And what sort of literature/subject matter would you be looking for?

As he does not watch me, he is unlikely to see this, but if any of you know  Dusk, could you please ask him to read this? I would sincerely like to apologize to him for a poorly worded comment I made on a recent submission of his, but he took such offence that he put me on his block list, and I feel absolutely like shit that I angered him so deeply.

Dusk, I am deeply sorry that I offended you. I swear, I was not obliquely trying to accuse you of plagiarism in the slightest. I was only saying that there was just something about the panel that seemed familiar to me, a coincidental similarity to an amalgam of images I’ve seen over many years, not a subtle knife of plagiarism accusation. She does not look like any one character or a copy of anything I’ve seen before, and she’s in such a neutral pose that it likely triggered a fogged memory of a similar pose that has nothing else in common with the panel. I should have just said nothing regarding it, as it was just an offhand comment that wasn’t supposed to mean anything. Nothing about Signal Ghost looks in the slightest bit plagiarized in my opinion. In both art in literature, similarities are bound to happen even between two individual, original ideas, and that was all the “similarity” I saw and was referring to.

As to the jacket, I was merely stating my personal opinion. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the jacket in any way, shape, or form. I was merely expressing my opinion of fashion. It is just a fashion opinion, nothing more, and I am sorry that my opinion on it offended you.

Again, I humbly apologize that my poorly worded comment offended you so greatly. Is there anything I can do so that you may forgive me? I’ve enjoyed discussing Signal Ghost with you in your journals and submissions, and I will continue to follow the work because I feel it is a great piece of work created by a great artist and author.

Okay, so over the holidays I obtained an amusing poster during a white elephant exchange that I wanted to share. For those wondering, a "white elephant exchange" is where each person brings in a wrapped present of a usually silly nature, things like the singing bass or novelty toilet paper are common. What I ended up with was a poster on the "Religious Views of Life". Seeing as how it's primarily text, I thought it most appropriate to reproduce it here rather than take a picture of it, since FA isn't supposed to be used for that, no matter how many people do. Be forwarned, if you are very sensitive about religious and believe you'd likely be offended by religious satire, proceed no further.


Religious Views of Life

Taoism
Shit happens


Confucianism
Confucious says, shit happens.


Buddhism
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.


Zen
What is the sound of shit happening?


Hinduism
This shit happened before.


Islam
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.


Protestantism
Let shit happen to someone else.


Catholocism
If shit happens, you deserve it.


Judaism
Why does this shit always happen to us?


Atheism
I don't believe this shit.


Agnosticism
What is this shit?

Well, with the arrival of the New Year, I’d like to introduce you all to whom I hope will be a long running character of mine here on FA. And I thought it most fitting for him to introduce himself, so I’ll just pass it over.

---

Thanks. Well, to introduce myself, the name’s Damian. I’m Roaming Shadow’s muse. Honestly, I’d prefer to call him by his actual name, but that confidentiality clause in my work agreement keeps me from saying any more than his gender and whatever alias or screen name he’s going by wherever I happen to be speaking. Anyway, if you want an idea as to what I look like, take a look at RS’s profile ID. That’d be me, more or less, at least as of a few weeks ago. You see, being an element of his consciousness, I technically don’t have an appearance until he decides to give me one. Recent, well, musings (no pun intended, I swear), as well as a certain illustration, triggered a train of thought, apparently one draying a great deal of attention to myself. One thing led to another, and now I’m a winged werewolf. Not that I’m complaining.

Now, with most of you being artists of one persuasion or another, I’m sure you’re all familiar with the general duties of a muse…and some of you have likely cursed yours every now and then. Let me tell you, being a muse ain’t easy. Even worse for me is I’m new to the job. Yep, that’s right. I’ve only been his muse for the past few months. The last guy just up and left without a two weeks notice, over a year ago. Bum just decided not to show up anymore. Can you believe that? And let me tell you RS was practically desperate for some inspiration. Yeah, I’ve gone through some of the backlogs, and know about the journals. When I interviewed for the opening in the creativity department, not only was I hired on the spot, I was practically working on the spot. It wasn’t easy, especially with the disaster up in here that could be declared a state of emergency-

---

Hey, it’s an organized mess. And remember who’s in charge around here.

---

Eh heh…right. Okay, so I was pretty much given a sink or swim scenario, and it didn’t really help that when I got in there was an incessant drive for a piece featuring a character that wasn’t even his own! Oh man is it hard to try to work with someone else’s muse, especially since it’s impossible to get a direct line of communication. But I was determined to make my first major project around here successful, and from everything I’ve heard, I pulled it off. I gotta say, it’s an interesting job to say the least, and greatly rewarding in its own unique way. There really aren’t any real coworkers to deal with, but there’s rarely a dull moment with the cast of characters around here. Some of them are finished and fleshed out, like the stuff in RS’s gallery, and are even deeper than I am at the moment (a mild existential conundrum I try not to think about). The old guy was good at what he did, I’ll give him that, and nobody around here can figure out why he disappeared. But that’s in the past, and will forever remain a mystery. I have a good relationship with all those characters, and work with them from time to time (“Growth in Tourism” was my first real relationship with some of RS’s primary characters) as well as with all the other ideas hanging around here, whom I occasionally have to keep in line, given how many of them like demanding attention.

Many of those ideas I’ve dubbed “mannequins”. Essentially, a mannequin is a non-defined idea that’s a relatively permanent fixture around here, which often get’s “dressed up” in a variety of different ways with the same “core” to the story or character. Hence, “mannequin”. Yep, stuff like that’s how I got the job. Most of these mannequins are relatively static, though a few have taken on a life of their own. In a sense, they’re almost like “sub-muses” or something, specialists in a particular idea that I’ll occasionally consult with to elaborate to make that “core thought” a fleshed out story. They’re not actually a part of the actual workings in here, but they’re fixtures nonetheless, with presence enough to be their own entities while paradoxically being undefined in a sense. Like Devon. I get the feeling you’ll be hearing more about him soon enough. I’m still trying to figure out how he got that name, seeming to be a rather mundane name for an anything but mundane concept, but that was prior to me taking the job, and I haven’t gotten around to asking. First I need to get RS’s attention long enough to finish a particular request piece…by keeping him from Skyrimming…

---

I know, I know! And geez, you know how dirty that sounds?

---

Yeah, I know. I’ve been waiting for the opportune moment to spring that pun. Between that and Arkham City, it hasn’t been easy getting his attention. Still, he’s been listening to some of the other departments of late, and the fact that he’s getting me to introduce myself more or less on time is a good showing. Anyway, to get back on track, RS has decided to personify me and make me a primary presence of his here on FA. I’m…well…not really sure how I feel about that at the moment, but what’s the-

No…I am not going to finish that sentence. I’m not entirely sure why that role isn’t going to his fursona; all I know was that he thought I’d be perfect for a “non-continuity” character, better suited for the position than his fursonas (yes, there are two, and I have to keep them straight). Honestly, that’s most of the reason I’m a little worried, as generally a lack of continuity is most useful for letting bad things happen that would normally preclude any sort of continuation without significant alteration. In other words, “non-continuity” is like a big “reset” button that can be pushed again and again like nothing ever happened.

But hey, as long as this gig’s still mine, I suppose I can handle a little extra publicity that wasn’t in the original contract, and I’m more than capable of being “non-canon” in any of my actions. Heh, yeah, “I didn’t do it, it wasn’t canon” can be a tagline of mine, and I’m not responsible for any of my actions, because they never actually happened! Besides, it mostly just means I’ll get a little more hands on with some of the ideas…wait a minute…you can’t mean-

---

Indeed I do.

---

…If I were getting paid, I’d demand a raise. Well…whatever must be done I suppose. You know I’m holding you to that novel.

---

Trying to keep me away from putting the focus on you eh? Well, you were certainly doing a good job last night with that.

---

Thanks. Now, all I need is a passport (AKA ref sheet), and I could end up a very public face. That, at least, I’m looking forward to. For now, I think that about does it for introductions, and I shall bid you adieu until next time.

---

Well, I think he said that pretty well. Expect to read and see more of him over the year. I already know what I’m going to do to him…I mean write about with him first.

---

…ulp…

Well, a new year is fast approaching. Normally, I’m not really one for New Year’s resolutions, but this time around, I’ve got some. Namely, it’s prompted by the fact that I really need to get my rear in gear if I’m going to make a living doing what I love. So, at present, here’s a list of resolutions I’ve got:

1. Write a short story a month (might be a little tricky)

2. Get first draft of novel done. (This one’s been in the works for years, and I need to hammer it down)
2-A: Get final draft done (unlikely, but once I get the first draft done, it’s the next step)
2-B: Look for publishers and submit as often as possible.

3. Learn to use Game Maker 8 by making simple game. (If I’m going to get into the game industry as a designer, I’m going to need to show my capability for design).
3-A: Make more complex game.


On a side note, for that “complex game”, I was thinking of making it for people on FA to enjoy. I was thinking a vore themed RPG, but can’t decide whether to make it a classic RPG, or a tactical RPG. The former has easier combat mechanics to work out, but more difficult getting the desired vore elements in, while the latter works well with all of my vore implementation ideas, but is more complicated on an enemy AI standpoint (enemies have to move around in a reasonably intelligent manner, as opposed to randomly picking a target and action). If you’re interested, I’d love hearing your thoughts, both on which route you’d prefer, and even ideas if you feel like sharing.

It’s been an all around good year, and here’s to making the coming year an even better one. Happy New Year to you all.

Okay, serious question here folks. I'm considering posting art here that I got in a trade with an artist who...has a rather bad and I believe pretty public reputation here on FA. The last thing I want is for someone to recognize the artist and then there being nothing but negetaive comments about the artist or about the piece promted by dislike of the artist. However, they're pieces I'd like to post. It's been a while since said artist left the site, so the work may not be recognized.

What would you advise? Post and hope nobody recognizes the artist and just say it was a trade? Give a disclaimer with the work advertising that any negetivity or hostility regarding the artist will be hidden, no quesitons asked? Or would it just be safer to not post it at all? Or another method entirely? I'd greatly appreciate any input, as I feel that, even if this matter isn't as delicate as I fear, it still needs to be handled with some care, given the circumstances.

Wow, three works posted in about a month. Dang, that feels good. Up next is "Housepets, Harems, and a Yerai", a request piece for  TorenZabbic, then it's back to an original creation. However, that's where I'm not quite sure what to do. Here are my thoughts, and I'd like to know what you'd be interested in seeing/reading:

"The Vore Parlor" - a collection of short vore stories that takes place in the world of A Short History of the Divine Game

More of the Retriever Unit.

A continuation of "The Civilized Savage, which I recently had art made for.

More from the characters of "[URL=http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5629564/]A Taste of Magic]/URL]"

Something else altogether; I'm open to suggestions for anything you think my writing style may be apt to tell. I've done primarily inflation and vore, but I can of course do other things as well.

Well, I go from one creative problem to another. First there was the year long rut where I had difficulty doing anything creative, and now it seems I have the opposite problem. Now there’s all sorts of projects that I really want to do, but can’t keep focus on any one long enough to make any good headway. Just to name a few projects:

Ameilia Introduction/The Champions of Reality: There are two WIPs of this piece, and I almost have it to a point where I can call it done. I’ve already got the conceptualization of the follow-up, but have no idea when I’ll get to it.

A request from  TorenZabbic, featuring his characters Roxy and Fe (among others) in a pet show, with a few surprises.

A piece featuring  Generationslayer’s vore assassin Zegar, for no other reason than I really like the character, can’t think of an original character inspired by her that’s not a copy, and an interesting story nugget that was too good in my mind to pass up.

A series of loosely connected stories collected together under the title “The Vore Parlor”, taking place in the world conceptualized in A Short History of the Divine Game, though there are a few pertinent details I haven’t hammered out yet that are holding that up.

A novel I’ve been trying to write for what feels like years, of which recently I feel I’ve finally discovered and pinned down some core themes of the story, which should really help in making a full, engaging, cohesive story. Man, it almost felt like a revelation when those came to light, like an epiphany or something, though unfortunately where to actually start the story is eluding me.

Inspired by  darklord92’s work, I’m looking to create an RPG using Game Maker 8 that features vore as a combat element (among potentially other things), also using the setting of A Short History of the Divine Game. This project is also to train my creative design skills and to learn how to use Game Maker. The ironic thing about this projects progress is that I feel like I have a foundation for the mechanics in place, but for the life of me can’t seem to come up with characters or a story.

Continuing writings for  darklord92’s VoreFable project.

A moving storyboard for a music video for the song “Dark Horses” by Switchfoot, as once the images started coming to mind, I couldn’t get them out.

And those are just the ones I can think of right now, and I think I’m missing one or two. The problem is at time I feel like I want to work on all of them at once, and that’s not possible for a multitude of reasons, but it’s difficult concentrating on just one, and my concentration/inspiration keeps jumping around between them. *Sigh*

So  Rukis made a meme, a short questionare, and I thought I'd fill it out myself, especially since she even called out writers in it. So here it is, let's see if I surprise anyone:


- What sort of artist would you most identify yourself as? -
Writer

- What would be your secondary identity? -
Game designer in training

- What forms of art do you dabble in, but don't excel at? (Keep in mind, this could change!) -
Nothing that comes to mind. I’ve tried a few things, but haven’t done much “artistic” beyond writing. At the moment I don’t really “dabble” in anything, though I’ve contemplated it. I’ve tried various forms of visual art, to little success.

- How would you describe your 'style'? -
Hard to say, as I’m not sure I’ve really developed a distinctive “style” yet. The closest I can think of is making fantasy down to earth. Honestly, you’d have better luck asking others to describe my style and getting and answer from them then from me.

- What medium do you favor most? -
Urban Fantasy (as far as writing genres go)

- What medium do you need the most improvement in? -
Pretty much visual art in general

- What medium do you WANT to see yourself improve with, the most? -
Again, visual art. I’m a very visual thinker, and want what’s in my head to be visually represented, but there’s almost always a “lost in translation”, to one degree or another, between my brain and other people, making commissions both expensive and difficult, as visual descriptions are something I’m working on as well. If I can’t describe what’s in my head, how can an artist possibly be expected to make it?

- What are your favorite subject matters? -
The darker parts of the human spirit. The capability and willingness to do dark things to accomplish good. Characters who find themselves on the brink of emotional collapse, with the will to stay in one piece and be stronger for it. A well portrayed anti-hero.

- What are your least favorite subject matters? -
Strangely, nothing really springs to mind on this one. At one time I would have said “romance stories”, but I’ve got a spot for them too now. A small spot, mind you. Romance to me is an aspect of a story, and I’m not so much a fan when everything revolves around it.

- List your Artistic Strengths -
Character personality and motivation, making them feel like real people

- List your Artistic Weaknesses -
Pacing, visual description, and to a degree forming a running plot from scenarios.

- Which of the above weaknesses would you most like to see improve? -
Creating a smooth plot from beginning to end. Kind of essential for a quality novel.

- Adult Content. . . yes/no? -
If the situation warrants it. There’s little more jarring in a story than content for the sake of content, especially when it’s adult content. There must always be a logical reason for something to exist, and this hold especially true for adult content.

- Adult Subject Matter you favor? -
Ehhh…don’t really have an answer to this one. Maybe another time.

- Schooling/Training received in the arts? -
Bachelor in Computer Science, Digital Animation and Game Design degree, though they might as well have taken “game design” off. The whole course was almost entirely digital animation, and I’d wanted to learn about design.

- Schooling/Training you'd still like to have? -
Training in game design; mechanics, systems, flow, story. That and literary training.

- Would you consider yourself prolific, or a 'quality over quantity' sort of artist? -
Oh, quality above quantity for me. What I’m striving for is a quantity amount of quality, AKA putting out an engrossing novel.

- Would you considering yourself a Fine Artist, or a Commercial Artist? -
As much as I’d like to consider myself a “Fine Artist”, odds are I’ll likely fall more into the “commercial artist” category. After all, I’m looking to either publish books or make games (or both, if I’m lucky), that appeal to a large number of people.

- Where would you like to be in five years? -
Creative director at a game company, or two published books. At least one of those two. Beyond that, the specifics aren’t important. I want to be making a living doing what I love to do.

Boy, nothing quite kills a good mood and cramps creativity than hitting a deer with your car. I’m fine, the front of the car’s dinged up, and I'm not sure of the condition of the deer, but let me tell you, it took a little bit to calm my nerves, especially after having heard stories about people hitting deer. In that moment between realization and impact, I was afraid that deer was going to come up the hood and hit the windshield. Instead, I think I hit it right in the hindquarters, and I took it off the ground while her momentum kept her moving the direction she was running.

Fortunately, I wasn’t going all that fast, and I had just enough time to hit the brakes. Not fast enough to avoid the doe unfortunately, but I’m fine, and while I wouldn’t say the deer is “fine”, I’m fairly certain I didn’t kill her. But dang, I wasn’t exactly in a creative mood after that. Seriously, she practically came out of nowhere, just jumped right out in front of the car. Never thought that’d happen to me.

Okay, so the last journal I posted was, perhaps, just a little on the vague side. Honestly, the idea had just popped into my head and I threw it out there, and in hindsight I think I should have let it stew a little longer and let it cement before throwing it out there. Well, I’m going to see about rectifying that here, with some clarifications as to what it is I’d like to do, and how you all can get involved if you so desire.

Essentially, it’ll be like me writing a book, in my usual literary fashion, but with direct input from my watchers. Think of it, in a way, as playing a tabletop RPG without mechanics, with me as your GM; I tell you what’s going on, and you tell me what you’d like to do, though in the end I control what exactly the characters do. The first posting will introduce the setting, the characters/protagonists, and their current situation, all of which will be drawn from your suggestions, as I’ll get into later. There’ll be a couple hooks and potential leads to give a sense of direction, but once the ball is rolling, things will get more open ended and it really will be up to you to determine where things go.

The writing style, as I mentioned, will be not too dissimilar to the works of mine you’ve already read in my gallery. Rather than being complete short stories however, the segments will go until I feel something of a decision crossroads is reached, which I estimate to be anywhere between 1-3 pages of writing, depending on the circumstances. I plan to have them up on a regular basis, about once a week. This should give my watchers a couple days to see and suggest, and me to consider and write. What I write will go beyond just the suggestions, continuing until I feel a natural decision point has once again been reached. The segments will be left open-ended for you to comment on how you think things should proceed. Normally, this will be in the form of making suggestions as to what the character or the party as a whole should do. However, you can suggest things outside the characters’ control, though keep in mind I am the one writing it, and things will happen for a reason. There will not be a lot of random going on, but if the characters are in a market, and you want the characters to get caught up in a brawl that turns the town square into mob rule, that may happen if you suggest it.

Something I’d like to note is that, while the characters will have some pretty nice plot armor, they will not be indestructible. Your choices may well lead to character death should the narrative flow in that direction. The story will continue to progress in some manner, and there will be no total party death unless it’s, say, a climactic final battle and their combined ultimate sacrifice saves the day. Heroes don’t die in literature without a heroic end, usually, and that will apply here as well. Any suggestions by you that would obviously result in very negative consequences that go against common sense are likely to be ignored.

The main exception to the page length of my update segments will be when there is combat involved. For combat, I want to give you a bit more detailed input than usual. Now, the segments aren’t going to be so short that you have to suggest every swing, but given how quickly circumstances can change in a fight, I want to give you input whenever there is a notable shift in circumstances. Also, if you want a character to stay the course, when in combat I’ll assume they stick to the same basic task (like maintaining engagement to a particular enemy) unless suggested otherwise.

At the beginning of the project, I’ll make another journal and ask everyone for two things; preferred setting (of which I’ll provide a few potentials and you can suggest your own) and character archetypes. The later is a compromise between who is making the characters. I want you to have participation in making them, but don’t really want you to completely make them, for I don’t want any character to be someone’s character. Archetype suggestions can be as general as “The Brooding Loner” (a classic), or as thought out as “the outgoing wandering dualist with a dark past seeking redemption” (though that’s about as detailed as it should get). You can also suggest species and gender to go along with the archetype. You don’t need to suggest an archetype for every character, just give me the ones you’d like to see and I’ll try to accommodate as many as I can, potentially combining several more general archetypes into one character. Also remember, this is going to be neither parody nor satire, so try to keep suggestions at least mostly serious. Eccentric and comedy relief characters aren’t disallowed, but I will draw the line somewhere.

At certain breaks, I will collect all the postings, delete them, and assemble them into chapters to post. This will clear up my gallery and make it easier to review the story so far as see is as a cohesive work.

I hope that clarifies what I’m trying to do, and why I would like as many of you to participate as possible, though of course only if this sounds interesting to you. If you're interested, please comment. If your not, but would be if something were changed, let me know and I'll see what I can do. If you have any questions regarding this project, feel free to post them here and I’ll try to answer you as soon as I can.

Well, I recently had an idea that I figured I’d throw out there, just to see what happens. As some of you may of surmised (and I may have said in the past), I’m a fan of RPGs. In the past few months though, I’ve had great difficulty getting into any, or at least, ones of any quality. I recently left a game because it was no longer fun, as the guy didn’t seem to understand the point of an RPG and ironically seemed to actively discourage it. Doesn’t help that he seemed the type that believes that screwing over your players and having bad things happen to them all the time creates “adversity” and “challenge”.

But that’s another matter entirely. The point is, while single player games are fun, there is simply more entertainment to be had when interacting with other people, something that I just don’t really get/do on a regular enough basis. And so, seeing as how I’ve seen it here and there here on FA, I thought I’d ask you all if any of you would have any interest in participating in an interactive story, where you, the watchers, have a say in how the story unfolds, as it unfolds. Unlike the ones I’ve seen here, mine isn’t likely to have any sort of art attached to it, but if you’re watching me, you’re doing so more likely than not for the literature.

The basic premise is that I’d write a portion of the story, in short segments, up to certain key points. At that point, I leave it open for suggestions as to what happens next, mostly in the form of what actions the characters should partake in, both physical and social. I’ll look over all the comments, look at what’s popular and what strikes my fancy, then write the next segment, and so on. Mind you, I may not take specific suggested actions each time; they may be variants on suggestions or combined for multiple suggestions. At times, however, I may like a suggestion enough to just use it straight. The whole thing is going to be a rather loose, very fluid plot, where everyone has equal potential to influence what happens.

I’m still sorting out the details of how exactly it’d go down, as I plan to make it kind of a hybrid of freeform RPG and “choose your own adventure”, but for now I’d just like to see if this idea seems interesting to any of you. It’ll get me posting more for sure so you’ll have something to read from me, and this will be another change from the rut for me.

Any suggestions at this stage, if you are interested, are welcome. At the moment, I’m thinking that the plot will revolve around a group of people and not just an individual. The ideas I have for setting/plot include:


The as-yet-unnamed setting I’m working on, for which “A Short History of the Divine Game” was written for. This setting is based on a traditional fantasy setting where vore exists as an ordinary part of life.

Secrets of the Frontier, though likely using different characters then the ones I have posted here.

Something Sci-Fi, as there just doesn’t seem to be enough Sci-Fi in this fandom.


Those are just the ones that come to mind, and though I'd like to stick with them, I am still open to suggestions. As for the central characters, I’m debating whether or not I’ll make them myself or let those who wish to participate have a hand in their conception. While giving the players such control allows them to have more of a connection with the characters, it might lead to some less than satisfying moments when characters act contrary to how the participants think they should act. There are pros and cons both ways.

So that’s the basic premise. If you have any questions or have any interest, just post here.

Okay, so one of my greatest strength/flaws of mine is getting wrapped up in the details. While details can be important and add a lot to any creative venture, at times I find it all too easy to get caught up in them and end up agonizing over the specifics of something that perhaps need not be detailed.

So I figured I’d ask you all a question or two to try to head off some future frustration. When it comes to getting familiar with a fictional setting, be it fantasy or science fiction, what do you feel are the most important things one should know to understand it? If you were to play a tabletop RPG with a GM who made his own campaign world from scratch, what elements do you feel are “need to know” for you to feel comfortable that you can make and play a character that fits into the world that you can have fun with?

I’ve been making some decent headway into that world building project I mentioned in the previous journal (even if a core element went a completely different direction that the original conceptualization) but just recently I’ve been feeling like I’m beginning to “sweat the small stuff”, and so am stepping back and getting some outside thoughts on the matter, to perhaps get me refocused in the right direction. It’s almost amazing how scatterbrained I can be nowadays while being creative.

Okay, so as many of you know, I’ve been having a hard time doing much creatively around here. No, no, this isn’t another rant, I swear. More like an announcement. As many of you have likely guessed from reading my works, I’m into character driven stories, and I like creating characters. As of late, I’ve had difficulty doing such. What I’m going to do is switch gears and start working on and training myself on an aspect of writing I’ve felt I’ve struggled with: world building.

Let’s review my gallery a moment and you’ll see what I mean when it comes to the settings of my pieces:


Love under the Moon: Other than “generic backwoods town”, the setting is largely not described. Sure, I like how I described the interior of buildings, but the town itself is left almost blank, and implying it's a modern day piece.

On the Other Side of the Screen: Okay, so this one does have a setting of my own creation, but being something of a snapshot piece, I never got into it.

The Civilized Savage series: Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition

The Devouring Shadow series: Generic “modern day” setting. The fantasy elements aren't a mystery so much as I didn't know their origins either.

Tomb of Tregarius: experimental piece, don’t really count it.

Conall, Sharon, and Diana Stories: World created by  Mocha_Mephooki, and used with permission

Climax into Darkness/New Purpose, New Life: Setting left largely not described, and not developed.

Retriever Unit: Lab...that's pretty much it.

Blood Sweat and Saliva: D&D 3.5

A Taste of Magic: Touch on world setting very lightly, probably the most developed individual setting of my own creation in my gallery. Which isn't saying much, given how lightly I touch on it in the piece proper.

Taste of Treachery: World of Laven, created by  Generationslayer, and used with permission.

Like Cats and Dogs: Slackerz universe, created by  TorenZabbic, and used with permission

Well, the last two were a gift and a request, so they get a bye, but just about everything else is either a generic setting left to the imagination (because I didn't work on it) or a preexisting setting created by someone else. Honestly, as detailed as I love getting into characters sometimes, the setting they inhabit might as well be made of cardboard props for all the attention and thought I put into them. Why is that? I have always had difficulty with world building. Now, however, I’m having a hard time making any character driven story I’m satisfied in, so rather than try to keep shoving that square peg in the round hole, beat my head against the wall, et all, I’m switching gears and trying to put my efforts into my shortcomings. Maybe once I’ve addressed that issue, I’ll be able to create compositions I can feel proud of and get back to posting stories again.

Part of this stems from the fact that, during a slow day at work today (well, yesterday, depending out what time zone you’re in) my mind wandered to something I’d lightly hashed out a little while ago, involving some vore mechanics additives to the Pathfinder RPG system. Well, my wanderings actually led somewhere for a change (something they haven’t done too much of in a while), and slowly, slowly, a setting began to emerge. I want to capitalize on this thought process as much as I can, and even if I never use said setting, I feel the exercise will do me some good.

Essentially, it’s a fantasy setting inspired by a couple things, namely  darklord92’s Vorefable project (an 8 bit RPG with vore as a central mechanic, with released alpha builds for community testing and debugging), an interest in playing a vore themed character in a tabletop RPG, and my recent Pathfinder sessions at a comic store nearby. Yeah, adding a crap ton of homemade mechanics (using the Swallow Whole ability as a base) to add all the offshoots and nuances of “vore” into a tabletop RPG is such a niche game as to likely never see the light of day, but hey, it’s experience and one never knows, right? I don’t know enough vore lovers personally to even ask, and then there’s the subset of who knows how to play Pathfinder (or even likes the system for that matter), and then those willing to essentially playtest rules from a budding designer. But, I’ve recently had doubtful expectations go the other way, so who knows? Maybe enough people will see this through the grapevine and be interested enough to ask.

Anyway, I think I’ll hold off further details on the project until I’m further along, but to put it simply it won’t (yet) involve actually writing a story; more like a primer or overview of a campaign setting with all the pertinent information that one would need to understand how the world/reality ticks. Oh, and no, it is not the same setting as the “Secrets of the Frontier” setting I’d mentioned sometime back; that project is, unfortunately, also on hiatus for the time being.

Anyway, just thought I’d give you all a heads up as to what to expect from me, hopefully sometime in the near future.

Well…one year older, 24 years of living. Almost funny how there’s always a point when you reach a certain age that a birthday becomes, well, whoop-de-do. Of course, it doesn’t help my mood much that I feel I’ve accomplished very little in the last year. I mean, just look at my gallery; I’ve hardly posted anything literary in the last 10 months, and it’s not like any of them were large projects. I should be able to put out stories like that once a month (maybe I’ll try making that a “birthday resolution”). And I’m still mostly in that rut, though it’s not quite as bad as it was before. Anyway, not much else to say at the moment, so I’ll just fill out this journal with what’s on my mind.

Getting close to finishing Dead Space 2 (boy, have I been on and off playing that game, which is also unusual for me). It is, hands down, better than the first, and the first was pretty good. Giving Isaac a voice and personality made the story so much more interesting, not to mention plausible. Seriously, the whole “silent protagonist” thing gets a little strained with everyone talking at you and you say nothing, especially when you ought to say something, like, say, when your girlfriend shows up.

As for future games, I’m waiting on Borderlands 2 and Diablo 3. Everything I’ve heard about both games has me wanting them, especially Diablo 3. That just seems like a game I can play through multiple times without getting bored.

A project I’m still formulating is making a story that I can get into the kindle bookstore. I still have to see how that works, but even if I sell it there for 99 cents, as it seems a fair amount of people are doing, maybe I can get some name recognition, and that could lead to getting my foot in the door someplace. I don’t have to worry about getting some sort of deal with a publisher, which should make things a lot easier, though I still have to research exactly how one can get a work into the kindle bookstore. It’s highly unlikely that it’ll be “furry lit”, but I might make an overhaul to my piece “Love under the Moon” (which was the first piece I ever posted here actually), which features a werewolf. Unfortunately I feel that piece needs some serious reworking, as looking back the cultist plot I originally had just seems so corny now, not to mention there are a few plot holes that are admittedly kinda glossed over.

As much of a money sink as it seems at times, I’m also a Magic: The Gathering player and am looking forward the new Innistrad block. I’m a little bummed that now that they’re doing decent werewolves, they don’t seem to possess regeneration. I mean…I’m pretty sure that’s been a staple for a while, even if that wasn’t a part of the original legend. Ah well, with how regeneration works, it would have been a bit awkward in conjunction with the new transform mechanic. Still, looking forward to prerelease.

And I think that about covers it for now. I hope to have you all hearing from me more often in the near future, preferably in the form of submissions and not rants about my rut. Got a new idea I want to run with featuring Conall and Sharon, as my "Secrets of the Frontier" plot has currently stalled. I really need to get something done that I can feel proud of.

Holy...when did that happen? I could have sworn I only had about 20 or so at best. Wow...small as it may be compared to some of the artists around here, 55 people, to me, is quite a few people. Thank you all for the support, and I hope to have some new material for all of you to enjoy sometime in the near future.

I've got two pieces in the works, including a request, and I thought I'd once again reach out to the community for my next FA project. Namely, is there something in particular you would like to see from me? I know I've gotten some interest for continuations of a couple of my older ideas, but it's been a while, so I thought I'd ask again. Here's what I'm thinking about, and if you have any ideas of your own, no matter how vague, feel free to share. I think I'm starting to get out of my funk a little bit.

Continuations

The Retriever Unit
The Civilized Savage
Conall, Sharon, and Diana
The Devouring Shadow


New Ideas

Secrets of the Frontier (fantasy adventure inspired by the Pathfinder RPG, formally refered to as Age of Discovery)
Furry superheroes (loosely inspired by the works of  Eggplantman)
Amelia origin story (A vore themed character)

WARNING: RANT AHEAD. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK

Even if nobody reads this, I need to say it somewhere public or I’ll drive myself crazy, as I already feel I’m starting to do. I swear, I can’t seem to get anything done around here. I have all these ideas in my head that given enough time I can see them in their entirety (just not at one time) and know they’re fleshed out, but the moment I try to get them out of my head, practically nothing happens. It is an incredibly frustrating feeling. It’s literally as though there’s some kind of blockage between my subconscious, which I find tends to be where a great deal of my literary ideas come from, and my conscious, which is where all the thought that leads to doing occurs. Meaning, I can’t seem to express my ideas because it feels like something’s interfering.

Now lately I’ve been feeling rather lethargic and apathetic and I don’t know why. After being so good at being self motivated, it’s now become difficult for me to get the ball rolling on anything. And there are so many things I want to see done. I have a three novel series that I want to see the light of day that I’ve put I don’t know how many hours into that’s been revised so many times, there’s a short piece I want to make for submission to fantasy literature magazines, there’s a request I need to do that’s so long overdue it’s not even funny, there are new characters of mine who want to see the light of day, and there are old characters I ought to write for again.

And that’s not even mentioning all the work I want to do to in order to build my skills as a game designer. But without artistic or programming skills, it’s difficult to make something I can demonstrate. I can’t even verify if my own ideas are feasible because I’m either not familiar enough with a great deal of the actual programming that makes a game run and there’s no way for me to really test it. I don’t even really know enough people to look over my work to get a fresh perspective.

Oh yeah, then there’s the RP stuff I’ve been trying to do. I have a whole epic Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition campaign mosly plotted out, but unfortunately, I can’t seem to get the early portions off the ground. Then there’s a military themed Werewolf: The Forsaken that recently caught my fancy to run. Oh, and the idea of making a Pathfinder game featuring anthro characters and vore as a common tactic in combat, taking the Swallow Whole ability and extrapolating it to resemble things common in vore art here in the fandom. Yeah, about as niche as niche can get, but I just thought it’d be fun; a lighthearted, “let’s not take things too seriously” sort of campaign where a group of individuals with some common interests come together to have a little fun, interacting with others and just having a good time indulging their little eccentricities.

So here I am sitting here, writing this journal, holding down a job in manufacturing, because I can’t seem to make any progress in developing the skills needed to enter the careers I want to get into. It’s like the passion is there, but isn’t. It’s what I want to do, what I envision myself doing, and yet for some reason I just can’t seem to bring myself to do it. And when I do, it’s like there’s this filter in my head that won’t let all of my creativity through, so I get bits and pieces that don’t come together, and I can’t seem to make a solid whole.

I remember this not being the case. Most of what’s in my gallery came in one or two sittings, followed by sporadic reviews and revision before being uploaded. Now? In the last 6-7 months, I’ve written two pieces, neither of which are the request. But no matter how much I get frustrated, that block just still seems to be there. You have no idea how hard it’s been to not swear profusely throughout this journal just to express my frustration, as it’d be unnecessary and you don’t need to read that. Heck, this is more than most of what I’ve been able to write in one session. Seriously.

Even during this drought, I’ve gotten new watchers and favorites. And now I feel like I’m letting them down as I haven’t produced much new for them to read. What reason have they to watch me if I have nothing to watch? Yes, intellectually I know that I’m being a little ridiculous, but somehow my emotional side is putting up a strong argument to the contrary and it seems to be winning out in my psyche more often than not. Heck, in the last 6 months, I think I’ve written more journals like this than I have actual pieces of literature, which really doesn’t help my situation or my increasingly frustrated conscious, but I can’t keep all of this bottled inside because it’ll only make things worse. I have personal experience on that front.

It also doesn’t help that a lot of my more recent ideas have come in the form of visual art, and it’s been darn tempting to try to get commissions done of them just so that they’re out of my head and maybe that’ll reduce the amount of mental interference preventing me from writing. Or maybe it won’t. But I don’t know many artists that are either within my price range or whom are even doing commissions. There’s one I do know of that I think I can afford, and I might just say “screw it” and commission him for a comic piece featuring one of my new characters. Maybe I’ll look for other artists offering simple $5-$20 commissions just so that I can get these ideas out of my head and clean up some of the clutter in my head.

To those that made it this far, I congratulate you. I, at least, feel a little better for having written this, even if it did nothing to break my writer’s block. I’m just not sure what to do at this point.

You ever got a shot of inspiration, but it’s in a form that’s next to impossible for you to do anything with? Yeah, got that about midday today. It was one of those bolts of inspiration that occurred during idle mind wanderings, as some of my best ideas are. However, it was not in the form of a story, or anything literary. It was in the form of an image, an image that came in it’s entirety in an apparent flash of inspiration, a scene involving a cast of characters of mine that I thought would just look epic.

Here’s the problem: as some of you may know, I have virtually no visual artistic ability. Therefore, there is no chance in heck of me being able to pull this off on my own. The piece also features some 13 or so individuals in a combat scene; that combined with the level of detail I’d love to see it rendered in means even if I could get it commissioned, it would be well outside my current finances. But it’s just one of those ideas that won’t leave you alone until it’s seen the light of day.

Tomorrow, because I know it’ll bug me otherwise, I’m planning on opening up 3ds Max and using the skeleton rigs to set the whole thing up that way to see if it’ll really play out like my mental picture. If I can make it work…then I guess I might need to start saving an looking for an artist ambitious enough to tackle it. Even if I can’t actually draw it or digitally illustrate it, I can at least set the scene as a reference image, and as I mentioned, see if it really is possible.

Yeah, kinda random journal, but I'm in the mood to be vocal and share my thoughts. Anything to help break this runt I can't quite seem to fully be rid of.

The following is me reflecting on my current standing in life.

4 months...it's been the better part of 4 months and I haven't written much of anything. I'm now working a 3-11 job in manufacturing just to pull a paycheck. My degree feels absolutely useless. I have virtually no clue as to how to go about breaking into the industry I want to make a career in. I'm still living with my parents who don't seem to understand that animation is not the end all be all entry point into the game industry. I feel like I'm going nowhere fast.

Somewhere along the line, I missed something, and now life is passing me by with astonishing speed. I'm 23 and my life is going nowhere, and I'm honestly not sure what to do. Heck, recently I've been contemplating ignoring my degree for the most part and focusing purely on my writing. The problem being I've been in something of a creative rut for the better part of 5 months, and I find myself spacing out whenever I try to write anything, and rehashing old ideas in idle moments. I feel like I'm stuck on autopilot, and I can't get off it.

I struggle at visual art, I don't know how to break into game design, I haven't been able to write creatively in far too long, there are two people here anticipating work from me of which I've hardly made any progress on because of this, and I have pretty much no friends with whom I can just hang out with or talk to at the drop of a hat. Yeah, I still have it better than a lot of people in the world, I won't even try to deny that, but this whole situation is just frustrating me to no end.

I don't think I'm really depressed, and I'm certainly not suicidal, but this seeming lack of creativity is starting to wear on me, which isn't making things any easier. I also seem to have very little self motivation, which is very strange for me because at one time at least I used to be very self motivated. While I'm aware of this, I can't seem to successfully do anything about it. This sense of futility, of being able to recognize the problems but unable to ascertain solutions, is wearing on me all the more. I'm honestly fearing that if I don't do something soon to change things, I'm going to end up plodding through a dead end job for the rest of my life and stagnate into a form that's barely recognizable from the person I used to be. It's just, for the life of me, I can't figure out just what to do!

I'm sorry if I sound like a mass of self pity. It's not my intention, but I needed to say all this to someone. It's just...something feels missing, and if I don't fix it soon, I'm not sure if I'll be able to. I'll stop now, or else this ranting will start to sound like me going crazy. For those of you who read through this whole thing, thank you for taking the time to hear me out.

Okay, my computer problems were indeed caused by a dying video card. After putting in an older one and installing the drivers, the computer is working just fine. Which means I may have reformatted my hard drive for nothing. Ah well, all I lost was progress on online flash games; all of my data is on a seperate drive (just for such an occasion). Anyawy, just letting you all know that I'm back in business and should be returning to my regularly scheduled writing shortly.

Any of you roleplayers out there? I mean pen and paper stuff like D&D, Shadowrun, or Mutants and Masterminds? I'm thinking of potentially starting a Pathfinder RPG game catered to furries, using the Pathfinder RPG system and the Fursona book I mentioned in a previous journal (of which I will make available for viewing to those interested). The game would most likely be held on rpol.net, which utilizes play-by-post, unless you know of a better online format for such a game. The game would be in the same world that the characters of the previous journal inhabit. Yeah, I know I haven't gotten the world information up like I said I would, but that's mostly because the graphics card of my computer is dying and doing anything on my computer is a pain in the ass. I've been utilizing someone else's computer, and have been largely unable to access the notes I have. Hopefully a new graphics card will fix the issue.

Anyway, back to the point. If this sounds interesting to you, or you'd like a little more information on what this is all about, comment here or PM me, and I'll give you a rundown. Being furry oriented, I wanted to advertaise to my watchers (aka, part of the furry community) rather than post a Wanted - Players add of rpol. If enough of you are interested, I'd love to run the game. This is something I'm only going to invest my time in if I know it'll actually see the light of day, hence why I'm gauging interest. If you know a better place in which to advertise, please let me know, or if you know people yourself who might be interested, direct them here so they can see for themselves. I've got something of a creative itch RP wise, and I feel I've learned a lot about DMing after my first foray into the role.

On an unrelated note, my dad is being discharged from the hospital tomorrow (Friday, April 1st). I'm glad he'll be out of the hospital, though he's not yet back to his old self.I suspect it won't be long until he is though, given his current rate of progress.

Yeah, not exactly the most creative title, I know. It's a placeholder, and you'll admitt that it has a better sound than "Pathfinder Furrys". Yes, this is based on the Pathfinder roleplaying game by Paizo, coming to life from the "Fursona" suppliment I mentioned in a previous journal, but the story will by no means be restricted to the mechanics of the game; it's just where I happen to be drawing a portion of my inspiration. Anyway, I thought I'd share with you the projected characters for this upcoming series project that I'm working on. It's one of the few things I have what I'd call "inspiration" to do, though there are other things I want to do but can't quite seem to find the same drive for whatever reason. Names have not been chosen and genders are subject to change, and really nothing is set in stone, though I don't plan to deviate too far from what I have. And without further adieu:


Name:
Species: Timber Wolf
Class: Fighter/Druid
Theme: Former knight, now a champion of nature. Seeks to maintain a healthy balance of civilization and nature. Party’s moral compass.
Combat Style: Frontline combatant. Uses heavy armor crafted from wood using Shape Wood and Ironwood. Uses a falchion as his weapon when not in Wild Shape. Spells consist mostly of stat enhancements and healing.
Alignment: Neutral Good

Name:
Species: Squirrel
Class: Summoner
Theme: Cruel and sadistic little bastard, self centered and egotistical, yet conscious of his shortcomings and limitations (though he’d never admit to them out loud).
Combat Style: Rides upon his summoned Eidolon. The mount he directs directly into the enemy, and the Eidolon can (and is encouraged to) devour anything it can get in its mouth, dead or alive.
Alignment: Lawful Evil

Name:
Species: Bearded Dragon (Lizard)
Class: Gunslinger
Theme: Sharpshooter/mechanic. More sociable with good craftsmanship than people. Focuses on the task at hand to the near exclusion of anything else, regardless of stimulus.
Combat Style: Fights from as far away as he can manage with a rifle. Focuses on a single target, having only periphery awareness of what else there is around him. Usually focuses on the weakest targets and moves up in power as opponents fall.
Alignment: True Neutral

Name:
Species: Lynx
Class: Rogue
Theme: Professional thief turned tomb raider. Enjoys being paid to essentially do what she used to do illegally. Loves the challenge more than the money, though both are strong motivators.
Combat Style: To say the least, mobile. She hardly stops moving, making her difficult to hit while she sets her sights on her opponents’ vulnerable areas. She both stabs and throws, making her quite dangerous no matter where she is on the battlefield.
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Name:
Species: Automaton Ankylosaurus
Class: Fighter
Theme: Guardian construct, made in a time long forgotten. Unimaginative, but incredibly loyal and surprisingly quite talkative.
Combat Style: Uses both a mace and a spiked shield as weapons, alternating blows between the two. Tough as nails and refuses to surrender. A defensive fighter, he interposes himself between enemies and allies, having enemies come to him on his terms.
Alignment: Lawful Good


This project is still in the brainstorming process, and these are just shorthand summaries of the characters, so feel free to give your thoughts and opinions on what you see. It took me long enough to decide on the current species represented (as I was trying hard to avoid cliches with animal/role combinations), and it'll likely take me longer before I settle on names for any of these characters. Any questions you have regarding this cast is welcome, as I'm still fleshing them out. I'll see about getting a world primer up as either a journal or a submission sometime tomorrow, so you have an idea about the world these character inhabit and why the series is currently codenamed "Age of Discovery".

Well, I figure I’ll let you all know where I am at the moment. My dad’s recovering and should be discharged from the hospital in 2-3 weeks, at which point he’ll be doing some out patient physical and occupation therapy until he’s back to his old self. He’s recovering faster than the doctors had expected, which is a really good sign.

On the job front, I’m still looking, but now I’ll be less harsh on my qualifications (AKA stop selling myself short) and treating my 4-year degree as two years industry experience.

As to writing, here’s what things look like:


Request

 TorenZabbic - Progress: Conceptualized (Really need to get my rear in gear and get a first draft done).

Fanfic

 Generationslayer - Progress: Conceptualized (See comment above).

Personal Projects

Dragon Magazine Article (Wizards of the Coast) - Progress: Need to polish off some fluff material then formulate a pitch.

The Pewter Dragon Short Story (for fantasy magazine) – Relook at current draft and begin second draft.

New Project: Pathfinder Furrys (Episodic short stories for FA): Characters and world conceptualized, details to be fleshed out. I will have some further details on this project in a future journal.


Anyway, for those who care, that’s what I’ve been up to. Due to a long creative drought and some general lethargy caused by either being in a rut, having a rather sedentary winter, or even the possibility of mild depression (though I’m certainly not qualified to actually diagnose that), several of these projects have progressed like molasses for a while, and I haven’t really been all that active here except for the occasional comment. Thought I’d actually address my watchers and let you know what I’m up to.