I've been caretaking my parents, unpacking boxes since I have a house now. But now my country is a nazi infested hell hole... so that's great. Uhm... I'm a bit more active on Bluesky if you're there. It's just about the only social media I partake in these days. If everything is going to be a cesspool I'll just leave. For my own mental fortitude; I can't.

I've been getting back into collecting pokemon cards. But everybody is making it so I can't find anything at retail value (that I actually want I am lucky enough to have 2 PC machines in my stomping grounds)... And even if I do get something I'm not looking for, I'm only getting a pack or two.

But selfishness has festered deep.

I've been trying to sell silly cardboard pokemon for $1 but it's a hard sell when the world is kinda upside-down.

Stay safe out there.

My birthday is on the second, It would be nice to have a few bucks, to translate into a present for lil ol' me https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/roaringflamecat

This MFF was pretty fantastic. I felt prepared, I broke even and the commissions I got are coming out great. I got to fursuit which I couldn't remember the last time that I got to do, and I got some nice photos, and only one person said to my face that they don't like the use-your-own-eyes style of mask, haha can't help it, I suit without a handler the whole time, I'm nowhere near as confident to be in a costume that I have 40% visibility and 75% mobility (and that's if I had 20/20 vision and I do not!). I'd love a huge plush costume, but I don't have the support to do so. A pipe dream for now. Also I'm not in the position to be dropping a grandish on the art at the moment. Lionotto would need a body before I bought a whole 'nother costume entirely. Hmmm.

I bumped into friends I hadn't seen since pre covid and updated contacts accordingly. It was so nice to see everyone again. I had some very cool art neighbors in the Artist's Alley and even someone who studied animation with Smalbu (Baman Piderman, Later Alligator) which I thought was pretty baller, my other neighbor had stickers and shirts and all sorts of great merch, and I loved tag-teaming customers to her on Saturday, and it made my Fridays commissions easy to work on. I was so thankful for all of the kindness and cool vibes I encountered. I didn't get to see Domino Twist and buy a titty hyena. I think that would be a huge imporvement would be to allow artists/dealers a lunch break of sorts to view other's wares while on the floor themselves. But I wouldn't've broken even so... I'll just admire from afar.

My hotel was a block down, and walking to and from was a bit miserable with it being a wet and rainy that soaked the ground and they thought I was sus comming from the con grounds late one night. I got irritated about that. And had a room key to prove it. Had a guy, like, chase me from the front desk to the parking garage. He was at least polite, and I laughed like "yeah get that freak outta here!" But it kinda did leave a poor taste in my mouth. Rood.

Now that winter is here it's tough to make ceramics in the garage but I was happu to get the contacts of folk who very much wanted clay art. So I'll make plans and eventually I'll shake the snow off and finally get stock so I can show up at a con and have things for sale.

I'm gonna take this con energy and keep it close to my heart.

I literally couldn't sleep I watched the anime (Hulu) and I needed to know what was around the bend, I got myself live with the manga. I love everything about this story. Battles are punchy and finished in a good amount of time the roster we get, the rules of their world, and how they're affected. I'm gonna make some fanart. And... reading how they talk about death, ... it's been a conversation that I've avoided for a long time, I struggle since I've so often been living for others. I do deeply understand Fuuko and her struggle, granted I don't have an Unlucky power, but I resonate with her, I have never actually gone to the bridge like she did, but so often I long to just... not.

It's not an easy thing this living business, and then to be complicated with these rules, and rules to make sure there's not a loophole, and there's the loophole if you're bored enough to read, and comprehend, the rules we made up, and have these paper things, actually it's 0's on a screen. Lots of em. Our world is so ironic and strange... And it's hard when I have such a charm and kindness that can be a pin to 'destroy the weak' I want to bring more joy, love and kindness, why is that a weakness in this world? We're at a crazy tipping point and I just hope whatever is around the bend I'm here to be a soft spot.

It's a goddamn beautiful love story and I'm looking at things in a way I never really considered.
And it's genuinely a crime if you do not listen to the theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boq.....YouTubechannel

Are you heading to #mff I'm getting ready to bring all of my goodies and markers and buttons! I have to get more biznatch cards, and find my wagon for hauling as I'll be at the motel 6 way way waaaay down the road. I have just me and +1 so if you have a room at one of the nearer hotels and need a roommie to help keep the bill down. But I figure it's a fat chance with only 2 weeks to go... but here's hoping! We'll of course pay our fair share!

If there's anyone who wants to get some art to pick up at the convention, let me know I'll have badges laminated and with a clip if you go that route, and I'll have both small and big buttons too.

Hope to see you there!

Every day is a struggle. Everything is a chore. Create for the social media to drown your thing out in 100,000 other attention grabs. Make art for commissions to have every line meticulously scrutinized and critiqued. An hour turns into three, and my profit became a deficit. But when we live in a capitalistic oligarchy and don't have much money... or let's be real, if you do have the money you become a hoarder of it. I would know. My nephew was injured, and has an insurance pay out, asking him for $50 is like pulling teeth. Money makes you indifferent. I could help, but it's not gonna benefit me ultimately, so I wont... call it an investment. I hate living. The planet is on fire, and keyboard warriors are mining crypto, and millionaire, billionaire are taking 3 minute jet rides, or just flying Fido to their next location. Eat breakfast in paris and dinner in Tokyo. Lives that don't think for a second of anything outside of their scope. But that's all of us. Aw, someone struggling? Well it's not me so I'll just keep my head down. We'll watch people be murdered on TV and not blink but if it's sex, that's horrific. Wiping my own ass is a chore, eat food to shit it out in a few hours, and if I'm lucky I don't piss my pants on the regular. People go their entire lives not having an accident, not this bozo. I make free videos and the add revenue pays out after 6 months (making it to the minimum deposit of $100) make one video that's different and all the regulars can't stand it. The entire existence for my content is for me, and everyone got it in their head it's for them. I am property. And they're for sure going to tell me that I did a wrong when it is the commenter projecting their own life failings onto me. Mean comments? Jealousy, envy, lust, all wrapped in a less than a paragraph of misspellings and bile. It's going to be 100 degrees here today in Illinois each year a bit warmer than the last, but that's fine. I gotta go to work, I can't think about how unforgivingly hot it is or will get. When we run out of water people will migrate and republikkkans will say build a wall, then we'll kill them for wanting water and a cool reprieve. And we'll kill over the last drop of oil too. It's a finite resource, but we'll happily burn it to make our planet hotter. I imagine if a future civilization carbon dates this time. It will just be a layer of plastic. No sandstone, no fossils, plastic of every color and shape. Microplastics are making us sterile and stupid. But that can't be helped. 8 billion of us. And y'know it's gonna be yoir sperm pet that will save the world! Absolve you of any guilt! Just give it to your kid! Here son here's a planet on fire and your fellow humans will kill you for fun! Isn't living in a world where you have to distract yourself from fun? Listened to a podcast about how the military is the biggest polluter and then the speaker segways into having his thrid kid. What a stupid fuck. Knew that this world is a shit hole, and went gotta kick this can a little farther down the road! Escapism works only so well, you have to come back to this shithole at the end of it. I'd say go enjoy nature, but what nature is there anymore? We see an empty feild and go, yeah, I need a mall there. Or just clear cut forests for ass paper. There is good news they tell me, but it's all temporary until someone comes along to throw stones. Can't have anything nice. Nothing. Saw a video of a giant lego giraffe and one of the legs was attacked, and bricks were broken. I don't understand. It wasn't doing anything, and someone felt it was an attack on them, and did something to vandalize it. I was over helping a friend clean an evicted room, and just seeing all of this person's belongings sitting on the curb and vultures came and picked through the valuables. That's what happens when you die. Everything you love is placed on the curb for the vultures to pick, and the trash man to eventually crush flat in his truck. Sentiment only exists while you're here. Nobody gives a shit about anything you like, and if they do they're gonna fight ya on it (Steven Universe fandom anyone?) I'm so exhausted. Exhausted of everything. The pain in my guts when I'm hungry the ringing of the phone, cleaning, washing, drying, sleep, eat, sleep, eat. I'm an ant on a rock. I'm even smaller than an ant, smaller than the bacteria on pond scum, insignificant. Moot.

You did it! It's still too early to tell really what's going down, but people actually showed up. That's wild.

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