Wow where to even begin with this! Since my last journal my whole life changed so quickly and in such unexpected ways, today is the first time in exactly two months I have no plans because I slept through an important meeting to get started on my name change.

It all started with a second shopping trip, where I finally used the makeup I had bought, wore a dress out for the first time, curled my hair for the first time, and passed in public for the first time. After sitting around for almost 6 months waiting for a miracle to happen, I went out of the house and started living my life. When I got home I sat and cried for 5 hours because I didn't want to take it off.

Since then I have been out of the house almost every day with work girlfriends. I came out to girls my age at work over a week or two and we all ended up making constant plans, shopping some weekends, endless lunch dates at the local coffee shop, dinner plans, adventure plans in Buffalo. The girls have kept me so busy to the point I started just wearing my morning makeup to work. I even had my first male fail a few weeks ago (called miss in my boy clothes) - and started just wearing my girl clothes to work instead.

I was suddenly out to so many people I had to come out publicly. I did it over facebook and started adding coworkers en masse so my whole plant could see me and be reminded of my name and gender whenever I post something from my adventures. In a week I went from someone who never left the house to a social butterfly who is never home. I am so happy about how women in my life open up to me so easily now. Women who see me for myself have made me so relaxed and also appreciative of their kindness. Women feel so deeply and share so trustingly, we struggle with our bodies and our minds more honestly and we make so much out of what nature gives us. I feel my sexuality may even have changed, I feel so much more attracted to women as a woman than I ever was towards men. I feel more pansexual than I ever thought I was, while at the same time having no daily sex drive. It's going to be a long journey to figure out my new feelings and sexual / romantic motivations, I'm not sure I even can label them.

The second person I came out to invited me to her bridal shower and wedding, both were amazing and great opportunities for everyone to see me looking my best. I'm so incredibly proud of myself and have been extremely lucky people have been almost completely accepting. I was so prepared for an uphill battle but people are already using my name at work, gendering me correctly constantly. The good gossip has spread so fast that people I've never even talked to have been getting it right. It actually encouraged me to connect more with supportive strangers in the workplace.

I made an effort to connect with trans people in the region and have made 3 amazing friends I'm making almost weekly plans with. I introduced two a week ago at a pride potluck which was a lot of fun. I swear one of them is my soul mate, we connect so deeply and intuitively. I met another yesterday for a shopping trip and it just sort of spiraled into the hottest most exciting sexual experience I've ever had - and I used to make porn. I had no idea how estrogen had changed my erogenous zones and also sex drive. My nipples are so sore today. It was so good and overwhelming I actually slept through my name change meeting this morning.

I'm thinking ahead about surgeries, success, goals, I've reconnected with a million people from my past. Work is going to get me a new uniform with new nametags, I'll switch bathrooms and changerooms when I'm ready. I don't want my life to ever slow down after this. I'm so at peace and at home in my wild new life. I am so fulfilled and have become so brave and introspective, my mind is so much clearer and my emotions are so much more free. For the first time in my life I feel certainty about what I want.

Which leads me to the furry community. So much of my old life has fallen away as I become this new person. I barely play games anymore or even watch movies, my two favourite hobbies. I stopped buying furry art months ago to save money and have completely stopped checking here. I haven't been talking to furry friends about anything related to furry interests in months. I feel like it's a good time to step away and focus on things that make me happy in the real world. I don't know if that's forever, I plan to start another hormone that should actually increase my sex drive again. I feel now I should spend time posting my backlog as fast as possible and get it over with. I have one gift commission coming still from a friend, and the last thing I am buying is almost finished and entirely unrelated to furry art.

Thank you everyone for being with me on this journey and for seeing me through dark times and out the other side of the storm. I am optimistic and proud and excited and thriving today. I'm not going to waste a minute of my life because I worked so hard for this. It's almost a cliche but transition really did save my life. I couldn't imagine at any point in my life being this happy and fulfilled. I wish you all luck, success, happiness, and many good years.

If you'd like to see some transition pictures, here are some before and afters as well as a couple extras:
https://www.reddit.com/r/trans/comments/13vw093/didnt_realise_there_were_any_photos_from_the_2/?ref=share&ref_source=link

https://www.reddit.com/r/transtimelines/comments/13tt69u/7_months_and_a_long_way_to_go/?ref=share&ref_source=link

https://www.reddit.com/r/trans/comments/13rg9vx/after_a_good_work_day/?ref=share&ref_source=link

https://www.reddit.com/r/trans/comments/13oadyi/kindergarten_girlfriends/?ref=share&ref_source=link

Hi folks, I have now been on hormones for 5 months and changes have come in many forms. My skin is noticeably softer (everywhere, yes there), I seem to be more sensitive to cold, I've experienced a decrease in my already low sex drive. And most excitingly of all is a few months of minor breast growth! 2 days ago I found out I'm a 38B apparently but I think that's probably an overestimation of cup size. Regardless the only bras that fit right now are sports bras so I have 5 from different stores and love them all ♥ I have a feeling I will definitely need implants though, even with an orchiectomy I'm hoping to pursue next year I don't think I'll see much more growth.

Hormone dosage has increased since I started in staggered stages after an endocrinologist visit a few months ago, next appointment will be in two months. I'm now on 4mg Estradiol daily and 200 mg Spironolactone. I haven't had any negative effects from them so far or at least nothing I've noticed. Actually quite the opposite, I feel somewhat clearer and focused. I'm still my usual clumsy self and that may never change. But I've also noticed a strange change in a nervous habit, all my life I've picked my nails unconsciously, even in the crib as a baby. Suddenly a few weeks ago the behaviour stopped and for the first time in my life my nails are growing past my fingertips. They're very soft and get damaged easily in my job so I will look into a good product for nail health. Maybe even a manicure in the future!

I committed to laser hair removal on my facial hair, it's a process and the shaving prep has been the worst part, I have my third session coming up this week and I'm definitely noticing after just two sessions it seems to be growing more slowly. I didn't feel particulaly dysphoric before transition but I always hated my beard shadow and now it seems pretty clear that was one of my biggest dypshoric elements even though I didn't realise it.

I also spent an ungodly amount of money on makeup and it's barely a start. An older work friend (self-described cougar) who has a trans kid offered to take me shopping and help out with picking and trying stuff. It was a great day and I got a lot of things that will continue to be helpful and bring me joy. Mostly I picked up a few things for skincare as I'm realising my face is the biggest area I want to work on. The makeup I picked up was just for a professional process to hide beard shadow which hopefully, eventually, I won't need to do anymore anyways. Picking up regular makeup techniques is going to be a different matter and I need to make a plan with someone who can sit down with me and teach me. I am starting to get a picture of what I like and want, snapchat filters have been illuminating and given me some solid ideas of what I do and don't want. IE no lipstick no lip gloss, yes eye shadow and yes eye liner, and the rest is going to need some expertise to explain.

I raided a wardrobe in the house for dresses my mom recommended I look through and found two that fit so perfectly and suit me well. Of course they once belonged to my sister but she's a hundred pounds past fitting into them again. Then on the mentioned shopping trip I found a few I loved, though until I have my orchiectomy I have to be careful about materials and cling because I definitely don't want a bulge in my dresses. I had to put a few away that I absolutely loved for that reason. My mom has a friend who makes stripperwear and custom sexy clothing and she has made things for drag queens so she's suggested she can make me something to help with bulge management so who knows, maybe I'll have some luck there too! In general I will try to stick to thrift shopping for girly stuff but it's important to invest in nice things that will make me feel like me. I'm going dress shopping on Sunday with another friend who will have different recommendations, I'm very excited and it will be the last frivolous spending for a long while.

And a final note, yesterday I discovered I can make my little boobs jiggle by flexing my pecs X3 so yay me ♥

I am making a commitment to stay off twitter for anything but important DMs. If things turn around and I can get back to buying art regularly, I may watch notifications for commission openings, but I'm probably going to be laid off for most of two months so that will not happen for a while. I only worked 2 of the last 6 weeks.

I'll be happy to make a habit of posting anywhere you think would be worthwhile, I just don't want to spend any more time on twitter than I absolutely have to. Haven't looked at my timeline in quite a while, made a couple of support retweets for friends only but that's ending now. It's a social media diet that has been way easier than I expected. I gave up facebook long ago, no regrets. I have started finding some trending amusement on reddit and even sometimes scroll ziel 's tumblr feed. No accounts made, even reddit feels like such a mixed bag that I might cut that right out of my diet.

Itaku didn't feel worthwhile, the uploader was a hassle and while I appreciate the site design it felt way too empty and pointless.

EDIT: I went and made a newgrounds account, posted a commission, the upload policy tells you that commissioners shouldn't share art, only artists should post. Guess we'll see what happens. https://exeydragon.newgrounds.com/

I guess what's important to me is how easy it is to post my content, sometimes images, sometimes gifs, sometimes videos.

So what do you all suggest?

At last, it starts tomorrow!

I have edited this journal to be just about the process of getting my prescription, I will make other journals later about egg moments, early indicators and thoughts, discussions over the years, goals, fears, options, etc.

After a crazy couple of miserable and damaging years, I found a job at the start of this year I reached out to my doctor around April, who recommended an endocrinologist. Knowing how unreliable the doctor is, I started calling the endocrinologist to make sure things were proceeding. The doctor unfortunately wasted weeks and weeks before I finally got the referral I needed to see the endocrinologist he recommended. The assistant to the Endo actually called my doctor directly to help them get the referral done. They told me they would call me about an appointment date a few weeks later. Instead they mailed me an appointment notice which my mom looked at and my mom freaked out seeing Diabetes and Endocrinology Clinic on the envelope as she is diabetic and assumed I was being screened. So that was how I had to come out to her. She was fine and didn't have any questions. When I explained that living with my sister had made it impossible to start transition any earlier she completely understood.

The appointment was still months away at that point, but finally in August I met the doctor and was tasked with getting blood work done. They told me to come back in 8 weeks and that second appointment was today. The blood work was good, everything is normal, I'm remarkably healthy for someone with such a sick mother. Even my weight had somehow gone down again. So now I need to go pick up a prescription tomorrow for estrogen and an antiandrogen. I'll have blood work done again in two weeks and again in 3 months before my next followup in January next year.

Where I'm at in transition right now is just my goal body weight, I have long hair and have a mix of femme clothing I want to expand. Sometimes when I shave and dress accordingly I pass accidentally. Though I have black hair so my 5 o'clock shadow is pretty dark and will be the most liberating thing to get rid of. Haven't decided anything about voice. Am determined to get laser hair removal on my facial hair, just need some time to contact the local place. My mom's constant car troubles every week are draining my savings constantly. I need to win a new car or something, we can't go a month without some huge expensive problem.

Edit #2:

Got the pills! But I need to go through them and figure out the weights so I can get the right dosage. The pharmacy didn't have the prescription fax initially so it took about an hour at the pharmacy and calling the Endo to get everything set up, processed and paid for. Paid $35 for a month of estradiol and a week of spironolactone. Work insurance will kick in soon when I get enough hours and then it'll be nothing. Because everything took so long I have to hold off until I get home from work tonight to start. 9 hours to go!

Edit #3:
Okay so the estrdiol (estrogen) comes in 1mg tablets to be taken once daily/. The spironolactone (testosterone blocker) comes in 100mg tablets to be split in half and taken once daily at first. Finally finished a long boring shift at work and came home to change my entire life. So nervous and excited and happy it's started. Dosage will go up soon and changes will start surprising me at any time. Can't wait to share more ♥

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What a difference 7 months makes! Thank you again to everyone for your help last year, you helped my mom and I bridge a huge gap that nobody and nothing else could cover. My mom does everything in her power to cover her bills and live as cheaply as possible but when you're disabled, your options are extremely limited and in Canada, pensions and disability benefits are extremely frugal. It took me 3 months to find full time work and I'm finally in a position to help my mom. I already gave her most of what I've made this month and that's just the start. My tax return, which isn't much, is going to cover some needed home repairs. She's currently dealing with a fractured leg and was recently diagnosed with Lupus so her quality of life is pretty diminished, but my rotten sister finally moved out after 3 years of squatting and contributing nothing, and now my mom and I are more connected and positive than ever. It feels so refreshing to be at home and happy, and she is very grateful I'm doing what I can to help her.

I'm working in an industrial bakery so my hours can be pretty random and I'm not yet adjusted to shift work so I'm sorry I'm hard to reach right now, I am awake at weird hours and sleeping a lot, I have about 3-4 hours of life each day if I'm lucky. The good news is the pay is decent and will get better if I can last long enough to reach milestones related to union requirements. I'm bringing my mom home bread whenever I can and she's happy to have it.

Today I paid off my student loans which I was able to defer temporarily back in November since I was out of work. In fact I was able to pay them off right before the interest would begin accruing again because the deferral would have ended! I'm happy to have that burden off my shoulders forever. My bills are all paid after months of struggling to catch up. I can finally stop getting text messages warning me my phone is going to be disconnected. I finally have my feet on solid ground and the only challenge left is to be there for my mom and learn as much as I can about my job and how to sleep effectively around shift rotations.

As you probably saw I'm even trying to post again, I'm not going to stress about timing, it'll just be one post every day while I'm at home to clear the backlog, regardless of the time of day. I have a bunch of older stuff I paid for a long while ago and more recent stuff that was either made as a gift or purchased as a gift and I am very grateful so many wonderful and kind people made such opportunities possible while I couldn't do anything to participate in art collecting. Thank you all for everything you have done to make me feel so lucky. My life crashed and burned for years and I'm extremely grateful and proud to be making things better at last.

Thank you all again for being such a huge and important part of my life, I couldn't be writing any of this without your kindness and support in the last 2 years, you all have done so much for me that I can never repay and I am truly honoured to have been treated so kindly by both friends and strangers.

Well moving to Winnipeg to live with friends turned out to be a very expensive and exhausting mistake, all their promises turned to ash and they kicked me out for reasons I won't get into here. So I'm back in small town Ontario, broke and trying my best to find a job, any job, desperately applying to anything I can.

Some very kind friends have helped me get caught up on my own minor debt from the trip home but now I am trying to help my disabled mother catch up on the bills. Disability poverty is a nightmare and the water is getting shut off tomorrow and there's nothing we can do about it.

I got the go-ahead from zi0808 + limitedvision + valorlynz + connivingrat + DrBoom32 to put some of my 3D stuff in the highest available resolution on gumroad to help my mom get caught up a little, it's a tonne of great pics and even a few animations all for $10 Canadian because at this point anything will help. If you're in a helping mood but have no interest in buying some 3D porn you could always pitch me a few bucks on Kofi, anything that I can raise is going straight to my mom while I try to find a job, any job, because I'll take anything at this point.

https://exey.gumroad.com/l/uJcpz

https://ko-fi.com/Q5Q4744KX

Just a quick journal to say it's my birthday, and share some little life updates.

Since getting back to Canada I was really depressed and feeling very empty. I saw some friends, spent a lot of time hiking outdoors in Niagara region and then finally got a trip to my family cottage, which turned into a huge fight with my awful sister, father, and aunt. All I wanted to do was be alone and take care of my grandmother but you can't do that when everyone around you is insane. I returned home frustrated and angry and desperate to start over. Suddenly my grandma was hospitalized, she was extremely sick so I spent a few weeks staying with her to help her recover and stay sanitary. Some friends offered me a room back in Winnipeg, my old city. So when my grandma was doing better, I packed up and moved.

Now I'm here, looking for work, living with friends, taking time to get back in touch with my sexuality a little, enjoying privacy and freedom, hiking a lot in the beautiful Manitoba forests and taking in the chill of encroaching winter. Money is tight and I haven't been this poor since college when I paid my tuition out of pocket.

But it has been a wonderful birthday, aside from my friends sadly losing a pet bird overnight. There were many art gifts from friends, and even one that made me really proud to be a good friend, commissioner and advocate for skilled artists. It has been a very memorable day and I'm hoping for an equally memorable night.

If you're inclined, leave a comment or shout here, or on my twitter balloons tweet. Thank you all for coming around the sun with me one more time, I hope the next time I post a birthday journal it's at the end of a year of nothing but success and happiness.

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This is just going to be a very personal journal about how my longest relationship failed and I'm just putting it out there so I can save myself the time explaining it all to anyone ever again.

Well, anyone who knows me pretty personally knows I was engaged for the last 5 years and working on getting married to an American. 2020 was hard for us, I was working an extremely depressing job and living in depressing circumstances just trying to get through every obstacle to finally get my visa. Sometimes it took a lot of willpower to handle the complicated paperwork, travel and enormous cost issues that kept coming up, not to mention the anxiety about dealing with Covid-19 and all the ways it kept interfering with our plans. I was ready to book my consulate interview in spring of 2020 and the pandemic made that impossible until the winter of 2020. I finally had my interview, and then had to find additional paperwork, paperwork that was now called something entirely different by the Canadian federal police, so that made it even harder to find. By spring of 2021 I had finally found what I needed, completed more background checks, and everything I could do was done. I had my visa by April, and I had a plan to leave by the last week of April.

We didn't talk as much as he wanted through 2020. I was just working such a horrible job that drained me of all social energy, I didn't even talk to most of my friends, I had no energy left for connecting with people if it felt like work. He tried nothing to bridge that gap, he didn't call me more often, he didn't try harder, he didn't make plans for us to spend online time together, he didn't find more things to share, he just sat there stubbornly feeling disconnected like it was entirely up to me to fix. That was the way of our relationship, every problem that ever came up was something I had to fix, instead of something he could work on changing his attitude about or something he could lean into as an opportunity to love and trust more.

All through this my fiance had been expressing frustration at how much difficulty I had with dealing with the immigration process. Any time I felt overwhelmed and took my time on some part of this process he held it against me. He brought up a particularly hard period where I waited a month to proceed on something every single time we talked to our therapist. Constantly pushing me and expressing frustration at how the process, which was entirely made of work I had to do and fees I had to pay for, was taking me a long time. He had no patience for how hard any of it was for me, be it the costs or the logistics or arranging transportation, hotel, it was an endless series of problems that were entirely mine to solve and while he could have helped financially, the costs were the least of my worries. I never felt comfortable asking him for money because I felt it would just give him more to be frustrated and complain about. In the end, he expressed doubts about proceeding with marriage, after all the work I had just completed in all those months of research, calls, interviews, fees, paperwork, background checks, fingerprinting, vaccinations, mailing paperwork, scanning paperwork, scanning photos, and all this while I was let go from my job, the only steady income in my household where I lived with my disabled mother and recovering addict sister.

I promised things would get better when I got to Texas. That we could get back to the things we knew, the ease of sharing space, of sex and chores and hobbies and seeing his family and making plans and every obstacle would be out of our way. I argued that we should get married even if we didn't feel better because at least then we could keep working on things and improve our relationship instead of turning everything we had done, all the suffering we went through into wastes of time and energy. I proposed a research plan to find out from people in our lives how they made their relationships last and work, and we talked to a lot of people to find out more, they were very insightful conversations with people we cared about, and then we spent a lot of time talking about what we learned. But he still felt disconnected, unengaged, still had no ideas for how to make things better and still tried nothing to actively address the problems other than telling me the problems existed.

When I got to Texas I was immediately warm, touchy, loving, relieved. He was as cold and distant as a stranger. When we talked about how we felt, he expressed that he wasn't attracted to me, didn't feel love, and still felt disconnected. I stopped trying to be so forward and let him do the leading after that. But he was busy all the time and never once made a single plan for us to spend any time together. If I tried to talk to him he never paid attention, I had to repeat myself because he was always watching TV, consumed by basketball, the food network, I kept trying to find a way to talk to someone who was actively distant and uncomfortable. He never tried to be tender or intimate in any way, never touched me at all. Most days the only things he said to me were criticism, instructions, bringing up problems. He didn't try to engage me on anything, we barely had a single conversation in the first month. All I heard was that my loose hairs were a problem for him that I had to deal with. I had to vacuum and sweep more. I did every chore in the house and all I heard were criticisms about how I could do them more to his standards. He treated me like some moron who couldn't be trusted to do anything lest I damage the house or destroy the furniture. I had lived in his house for 10 months in the last 5 years and I still couldn't be trusted to do anything right. It started to feel like a long unpaid internship where I knew I wasn't going to get the job.

During the middle of that his nephew died and we ended up finally seeing his family. While the circumstances were tragic I got to see him interact with other people normally, see him smile and laugh and it just made me feel even worse. One night during the time we were with family he told me how the loss had made him think about how important it was to be with someone introspective. It felt so much like a criticism I cried myself to sleep that night. All I had done since I got there was introspect on how I could make things better, how I could do 100% of the problem solving while he tried nothing and ignored me as much as possible. It just never got better.

The therapist recommended some couples conversation games to stimulate us and I couldn't find anything that felt genuine. She recommended a workbook but everything in it was stuff we had discussed years ago. I don't know how you're supposed to restart a relationship when you already know everything about someone else. But I kept trying and kept coming up with new ideas for how to converse, new things to try, I kept trying to get him to open up, to volunteer to run his errands with him, to be present for anything he had going on, to speak up about anything, to be helpful, to be attentive, I put everything I had into trying to close the distance and he just kept himself closed like a stranger. I felt so unwelcome and unwanted.

We had a huge conversation where I got all this off my chest and it made me feel much better, much more accepting of whatever the end result would be. It helped a lot to say that I felt like he was wasting my time and was going to decline to get married and send me back to Canada. 60 of our 90 days had already gone by so I encouraged him to lean in and try to be vulnerable and actually engage me in some meaningful way. Try something instead of nothing. He expressed how much he didn't want to be single at his age, which was about the most selfish possible way to look at our relationship falling apart. He treated our relationship like a burden and an obligation and not an opportunity that cost us 5 years, a lot of money and work to make happen. He still had his 3 careers, his properties, everything to offer, absolutely nothing in his life would change or be lost without me. I had given up 3 jobs, 2 homes, all my friends, my hobbies, my side income, so much of my health, really and truly everything I had to be with him.

In the end he decided not to get married. At the time I felt sorry for him and sad that he was going through so much in his life. But over the next couple of days my pity was replaced by anger. He was pushing me to figure out the best day to leave, it hadn't even been 24 hours since he completely destroyed my plans for the future. We had a fight the next time he criticized me and I actually stood up for myself. So he booked my plane ticket and transportation home that night. Yesterday, Monday the 12th, I left Texas and spent 12 hours getting home to my family and the tattered remains of my life. Now I have to figure out what I'll do next and I'm actually in the worst position I've been in since 2015. I have to restart my whole life with almost nothing.

I'm sorry if you've tried to talk to me in the last 2 years and I've been distant, cold, or unattentive, this relationship and everything it put me through has cost me pretty much everything I was ever proud of or liked about myself. Now I'm sitting in the attic I spent the last 2 years living in, with no AC, a throat infection, an ear infection, I've lost my voice and I have to plan a whole new future for myself.

Well I'm 31 today, life is at a standstill and us a huge mess but I'm still here at least. Covid has derailed everything from my body to my marriage but I'm still doing my best to be happy at the end of each day.

Marriage-wise I need to travel in country for an immigration interview soon, I just need to mentally get myself into a plane, a hotel, and travel several times through the most infected cities in the country. After that I get to move to the most infected country on the planet, after what could be a disastrous election. I'm hoping for the best but damn I'm incredibly nervous.

I still have tonnes of art to post but now I have the stress of tankdragon, who owes probably hundreds of commissions, posting my Arody commissions and claiming he made them on twitter. The two of them are so beyond untrustworthy it's laughable. I tried to help Arody sell commissions in telegram in a reliable, extremely constrained way, one at a time, payment on completion, where I was the broker (for free) and would keep her organized and working. But she and tankdragon decided to continue the scam they've been running for years, where he takes as many commissions as he can and takes payment up front and then he tells Arody to draw them, and she maybe finishes a few before giving up. It's the same old story, it's why so many of my friends will never get the multiple commissions they paid for, and it's happening on Twitter this time instead of Tumblr or FA. Arody invented a dozen ways to run away with your commission money and now tankdragon / Bad Jackal has invented new methods. Be warned, the Bad_Jackal Twitter account is where they're running this scam now.

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Finally going to post again, have about 150 things to post and no idea what order they'll go up in, what follows will be some thoughts and feelings about my life, my future, my engagement, and the state of the world. The short version is the US is a mess and I need it to keep its shit together if I want the future I've been working on for 3 years.

---

I took a bit of a hiatus when the US started protesting for basic human rights for ALL of its citizens, meanwhile people were dying en masse of a pandemic, and here we are two months later and it's still happening. I felt it would be selfish posting porn while injustice was so brazenly on display. All that's happened in that time, as I tried to use my twitter to shine a light where I thought it might help, is a fascist authoritarian government headed by an insane TV star cult leader worked harder than ever to kill americans in ignorance and misinformation. And to top it off, racism reached a shocking new level of public acceptance. American white people are the ultimate Judas, as their naked self interest has swung from support all the way back to opposition to Black Lives Matter, and I wish I could say I was surprised. I say this while I'm working on immigration procedures to move to the US and be with my fiance. Every day I feel more pressure and anxiety about moving to a country I despise to be with a person so many people in that country consider to be a problem.

The only reason I'm going back to posting is I don't want another year long backlog. On twitter I'll get back to posting porn content and I'll running that alongside political and social awareness content.

My fiance is black, and he's the most resilient and strong person I know, but I know he feels this deeply and wants nothing more than a future we can believe will be better for us. He was an elector for Obama and actually met Hillary Clinton at the DNC in 2008, and it's a cruel fate that so much of our relationship has been subsumed by this dark time as nationalism and fascism rise and consume what should have been a stronger bulwark of a country. I wish I could have known him at a time when he was so full of optimism and passion to campaign for Obama, and if the US can make it out of this period it is my hope that I'll get to see him be that passionate again someday. Obama was far from perfect but the symbolic victories are sometimes all we get in life.

If his elderly sick family, businesses, and substantial plans for our future weren't there, I'd be making every effort to bring him here where healthcare is free, guns are practically nonexistent, and our own horrible streak of national racism is very different and distinct from the US. Not to suggest Canada is perfect, my heart breaks for our own shameful history and the long tradition of destroying the lives of indigenous people, especially women. But I'd choose this over the US any time. Life is better here by any measure I can think of and if my fiance didn't have so many roots we'd be working on immigration in the opposite direction. And it would have been completed by now, because it's faster, cheaper, and simpler to come here, with far less caveats and far fewer horrors to expect when you land.

I've sacrificed so much of myself, my interests, my progress in life, my money, my time, my friendships, my physical health, my mental health, everything I could possibly give to make it possible to be with my fiance. It takes everything I have and more to make this dream happen and all I can do is hope that our plans will pan out, and we won't be swept up in the nightmare that is desperately trying to consume the US right now. All we want is a little tiny space for ourselves to go out and see the world, to live in peace quietly and safely, to make plans we haven't even dreamed of yet. And we just need this shitshow to hold itself together long enough to make it happen.

America, my hopes and dreams are with you. I continue to hope for your future.

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324 Submissions (+101)
35855 Faves (+14568)

Hey everyone, most of you I'm close with have already heard, soon I'll be transitioning Exeter into a lady dragon, Exey, with occasional dicks, but generally she'll have all the standard cis-female parts. I'll start posting her stuff in a few weeks, after I clear out the backlog of male stuff.

So I wanted to ask, do you think I should make a new account for content of her? I won't be buying any male Exeter stuff for the foreseeable future, so this account would go dark if I do make a new one. I know a lot of you don't want to see her with female bits so you'll unfollow if I post it here, and I don't want to lose you if you are interested in sticking around for a big change.

So what do you think? Post my female stuff here (with occasional dicks) and alienate the gay friends who really don't wanna see her spectacular jugs? OR make a new account and direct anyone interested over there?

Let me know how you feel or I'll have to make a decision without you!

**At last check, 6 suggest new account, 34 for staying on this account**

So I tried to report an artist for making art of a fetishized black slave character. You might have seen the post going around on twitter on spicy furry takes. I looked into FA's acceptable upload policy and it turns out there's nothing in there about bigotry, racism, slavery, or anything that would pertain to depictions of african chattel slavery as a fetish.

Predictably, the trouble ticket came back saying that, along with some waffling about free expression and a big shrug that no rules were being explicitly broken. Isn't that a good sign that maybe there SHOULD be a rule there? I would have appreciated some indication that it's something they would like to bring up and look into as a positive change for the site.

I don't know if there's a place to lodge a formal complaint but I'm going to look over the trouble tickets and try to find a way to make it an issue. I can understand something like african slavery fetishization being so bonkers and unexpected that there's a gap in the rules but to just outright dismiss the complaint BECAUSE there's no rule is, I believe, grossly irresponsible.

When FA is running DDoS protection on every page I can't seem to post journals or delete submissions on Chrome/Android so sorry this is a day late.

Yesterday I turned 30! I've definitely wasted a third of my life but there's nobody I'd rather waste it with 😊 thank you guys for sticking with me for another spin around the sun 😊

Hey friends, I've been away on vacation for a week so sorry for missing any telegram messages, I'll get back to you soon! Just wanted to say today's the anniversary of Exeter's first drawing! My fursona came together on this day in August of 2014, he's 5 years old!

Thank all of you for making this community fun and welcoming, and thank you for supporting the stuff that makes me happy!

44887 Page Views (+11134)
1834 Watchers (+312)
223 Submissions (+30)
21287 Faves (+5956)

I'm an idiot and never noticed my Twitter link here was wrong, over there I retweet a lot of finished art I haven't posted anywhere yet so feel free to go see what's new over there if you don't want to wait for me to slowly post it here! I still have a LOT of unposted stuff to share, even stuff nobody has seen on twitter!

Check out Exeter Dragon 💕 (@Exeterdragon): https://twitter.com/Exeterdragon?s=09

^ In case you're too lazy to look for it ^

33753 Page Views (+9072)
1522 Watchers (+241)
193 Submissions (+4)
15331 Faves (+1528)

Today I turned 29 ^^ Practically an old geezer!

I received a couple of sweet gifts from a couple of sweet friends, and one commission plan got scrapped so i turned it into a birthday commission at the last minute! I'll put them all up today ^^

Thanks for sticking with me everyone!!! ♥♥

32244 Page Views (+9072)
1494 Watchers (+241)
188 Submissions (+4)
14962 Faves (+1528)

Mrawr!! ^^

You may have noticed I haven't posted any art in a million years, since February 2018 actually!

I've got tonnes of stuff to upload and will slowly be adding it all in over the next while. Feel free to leave comments and let me know what you think!

I should warn you though, a LOT of what I've commissioned has been hyper stuff, so if that's not your cup of tea prepare to be disappointed for the foreseeable future, but if you enjoy the obscenely big, I've got some real treasures for you ♥

Thanks for sticking with me, feel free to message me on telegram, or check out my twitter! I've retweeted some commissions over there that you'll see here in the coming weeks / months ^^

23172 Page Views
1253 Watchers
184 Submissions
13434 Faves


I was screwing around in photoshop and I figured out how to resize my pixel art for the Hyper Pixel thing I just uploaded!

So I went back and resized my commissions from  croiyan which I got back in December of 2015. I really love them and seeing them up close like this is a really exciting update for some old art.

So if you haven't seen them, or you really liked them and would like to see them again, please consider going and taking a looksie c:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18523655/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18523676/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18523739/

Page Stats Update:
17102 Views
999 Watchers
151 Submissions
9074 Faves

===================================

So I'm about to hit 1000 watchers, I can't believe it'll finally happen. Some big artists in there, some loyal friends and fans, some best friends who mean the world to me, and a lot of amazing experiences and connections.

Thank you all for being here! ❤

Unfortunately I'm too poor right now to do a raffle which is what I'd like to do. Next milestone, I'll plan something out and we can come up with a fun way to drum up some excitement.

There are a few unique pieces coming that I'm really excited about. After those I'll be slowing down and just commissioning my best friend Schwarzfox for a good long while. So get used to his version of Exeter, you'll be seeing a lot of him ❤

15476 Page Views
932 Watchers
138 Submissions
7584 Faves


So I'm 28 today! If you've got some time, feel free to send me a message on any of my chat apps today!

Not really sure what I'm going to do since I've got to work. Dinner will be one of a few restaurants, and hopefully a slutty nightie or something sexy from my boyfriend for when we get back to the hotel.

After that, I'm really hoping for cake. And sex n.n

Kinda hoping my family doesn't call because I'm sure they'll try to call while I'm working....

I hope today doesn't suck at least :D

Page Stats Update:
13767 Views
845 Watchers
113 Submissions
5971 Favs


I opened a Twitter account to keep some of my favourite bits of art online somewhere as a backup! I'll do the same with a Tumblr next.

https://twitter.com/exeterdragon

Also, I'm in a Hyper Chat on telegram with a few cool people, feel free to stop by and introduce yourself!


https://t.me/bigandlewd

Hi folks! Just so people are aware I'll be on vacation until the end of August, so if I'm spotty on telegram, that's why!

If you need to reach me, send a message to Exeterdragon on telegram and I'll get back to you when I can ^^

Thank you all for being here! It's a pleasure sharing my dragon and bunny with you all, and I hope you're always looking forward to more! I've still got a few surprises coming!

Find me on telegram @ Exeterdragon

Interested in hyper stuff? Muscle, cocks, boobs, you name it! Join @ biganlewd

It's so crazy how busy my page has gotten! Thank you all for being here and for showing me and Exeter so much love and support! There's so much more to come and I'm eager to show it to you! But no peeking!!

Thanks everybody for the watches, it's nice to meet you all ^^

I'm available here pretty much any time of day, I love chats in the notes or comments on posted images, and if you've got telegram, you can always reach me at Exeterdragon ^^

Thanks for being here ♥♥♥