So yeah. Going to admit, have not been active on here lately, only really to see new journal postings and art from folks whom I watch.

So what is going on with the bear?

Well, a lot honestly. First and foremost, I am now a college graduate. I just recently finished an Associate's Degree in Information Technology at Mildred Elley College, located here in Albany. Amazing program with rather small class sizes. Due to the pandemic, from February on, all my classes were online. I graduated in September with a 3.5+ GPA. In addition to the college, little more than a year ago, I started a new job at a semiconductor manufacturing company as a Desktop Support Technician. Pay and benefits are decent, and I get to manage a decent amount of users on two sites. It does get busy and stressful, but I do like the people I get work with.

Ok. So you are employed and a college graduate. Anyone special in your life?
Yes there is. His name is Kendo and he is a Australian lion who is also a writer and animator. He and I have been together for several years and are talking about taking the next steps in the relationship. Even with the distance right now and the major stress of the world, he is very much a grounding force for me. I have a picture of him on my desk to help keep me going every day I am at work. We talk just about every day on Telegram and occasionally do a video chat on Discord.

Anything else you want to say?
I know you expect me to get political and say something controversial. I am not going to stoop to that level. Like many of us, I am just trying to survive in the current environment by following the guidelines, and just honestly doing my best. I reach out to friends to make sure they are ok and just to alleviate my irrational and anxiety ridden mind. It is all we really can do to help find and survive in a new normal.

When you fight for so long, eventually you get tired. Then you no longer want to fight, so everyone begins to walk all over you. You take the abuse of others, so you don’t have to deal with the pain inside. This is me.

Since I was young, I was different. I learned different, I acted different. It was all I knew. Others would ridicule me for so many reasons. It started in elementary school. IN middle school it got worse, almost daily, and even on the school bus to and from school. I dreaded going to school every day and my grades faltered for it. Instead of dealing with it responsibly, the school placed the blame on me, not on others. The one time I did fight back, due to zero tolerance policies (IMHO are zero intelligence policies) I was suspended out of school.
High school, it turned physical. Poked, prodded, ridiculed on a daily basis to and from. Almost suspended from the bus “for creating a disturbance”. Multiple meetings with counselors, psychologists, principals, kept saying “I must have done something.” “Can’t do something until he reacts” is what was said multiple times. At one point, wante to skip and maybe even drop out. Teachers were no help.
Got older, graduated and learned about BDSM. Under service to a SIR for over 10 years. “Work through the pain, not fight against it.” Replace the pain from one type to another transferrance possibly. For a while it helped, when I felt I got out of control with things. No so much now. It’s a mistake.or it’s how it feels right now.
I lay down and take it. I don’t fight anymore. I don’t have the energy to. What’s the point. Nothing will change, nothing ever changes. That is where I find myself. And here we are. Cairn, Rogal, Jason, all part of the same person, maybe an aspect, maybe a construct. But honestly, who the fuck cares?

Ok. I'm going to just be brutally honest here. Last October during my annual physical, doc took bloodwork. Results of said bloodwork were normal, except for my hormone levels. Turns out, for some odd reason, the part of my body which produces said hormone, necessary for maintaining several key systems, including my mood, blood pressure and even my sex drive has pretty much stopped working normally.
Jump forward two months, because it took me that long to get referred and get an appointment with a specialist who deals with the issues I am having starts me on HRT, hormone replacement therapy. Then comes November, a weather change, and I get sick as hell with acute bronchitis, resulting in me having to take a couple days off. Week before Christmas, I get a present, a new employment contract which comes with a raise, and I'm still sick, sicker in fact. Go to get checked out, and FML it's pneumonia, I'm out for two days. Three courses of antibiotics, including two full courses of hardcore antibiotics, two courses of prescription grade cough suppressants and finally at the end of February, I finally get rid of the majority of it, leaving only a minor cough.
While sick, due to various issues, including lack of sleep, I stop both my antidepressants (because they literally stopped working) and my HRT for a good 3-4 weeks. I'm now back on the HRT, which is resulting in a re-acclimation period. I have very little desire for sex, and to make matters worse, my patience for my roommate at work is stretched thin. There's already been a couple "counseling" sessions with my boss regarding it.
I don't know what to do here. Part of me wants to say "Fuck the World and everyone in it." and lock myself away somewhere with a computer, tv, streaming services, food and drink including alcohol, and another side wants to get things under control. I'm trying my best right now, but it doesn't seem like good enough. I'm fighting with myself and it feels like I'm losing.
Can someone help?

Ok. I'm at a major decision-making point here. I'm starting to really want to work my fuzzy little rump off and produce my music-themed podcast on a more regular basis,

like possibly once a month. My roomate suggested that I set up a Patreon account. If I do, would you consider supporting? I know that major supporters would receive not only production credit, but would help choose the songs played in the podcast. I need some encouragement on this please, because I'm not so sure. Please leave comments!!!

Let me preface this up. I am not currently feeling suicidal. Very much the opposite. You can consider this a cry for help if you want to. This is more of a venting. Take it how you feel, but frankly, I don't care.

I give up when it comes to friends. Although I appreciate the things they do for me, more often than not, it leads to disappointment. All I expect from my friends is that they occasionally talk to me and that's about it. If they make plans and don't include me, oh well. I'm going to just stop making plans altogether, this way I won't have to feel the massive depression that comes when they cancel.

Although yesterday was fun with a good friend and multiple stops at various ice cream places in the region, once I got home, all I wanted to do is retreat to the safety of my bedroom. My bedroom is the only place I feel truly safe anymore. I will be social if I'm pressed, but don't ask me to plan something, cause I just don't care anymore.

If you want to include me in your plans, back it up and follow through with it, otherwise, it's not worth it. In the long run, do that too many times, and well, maybe you're not worth being friends with.

Comments welcome. Flames will be told to GTFO.

Like many within the community and within the fandom, I am saddened and horrified about the recent events that have taken place in Orlando and the Pulse nightclub. Earlier, I was watching an episode of Jim Sterling’s “JimQuisition” on YouTube. At the end of the episode, he commented on the recent events as well, and the only word he could actually get out was Fuck. Jim Fucking Sterling Son was at a loss for words.

Honestly, I pray for the victims and their families. My prayers are sincere because unlike many of the recent hollow platitudes provided by politicians, I am a member of the LGBT community, I am a member of the furry fandom, and I am someone living with mental illness.

Honestly people, this shit has ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY GOT TO STOP!! So we have politicians that don’t want to upset their NRA overlords. (And yes, they are overlords. Rep.Tom Cotton honestly is the NRA’s bitch. They gave him over 2.1 million dollars. Cotton is one of many representatives in Congress who voted last December to block legislation that would have made guns like the ones uses in Sandy Hook, San Bernadino, and now Orlando, illegal, as well as high capacity magazines.)

Ok. So you decided to attack the LGBT community. We haven’t forgiven anyone for Stonewall, and THOSE were RIOTS. You know riots, like the ones after Martin Luther King, Jr got assassinated, or when the members of the LAPD were acquitted for the beating of Rodney King. You want a better example of riots, just look at those after soccer matches, like England. Those are riots.

What happened in Orlando was an act of cowardice. It was an act of terrorism. It was an act of a government that has been bought by special interests and supports them instead of upholding the duty to defend the people of this country. It is people like Wayne LaPierre, Rince Priebus, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, Donald Trump and religious conservatives like Pat Robertson, and that so-called “Pastor” in Arizona.

It is the governments of states such as Texas, Florida, who have let themselves be controlled by the gun manufacturers and the NRA that have allowed this to happen. It is the fault of US government agencies such as the FBI, and the ATF for not doing their jobs and not being able to do their jobs. It is the fault of the medical establishment and the American Psychology Association and the CDC for not being able to do their jobs, or being barred from doing their jobs.

So how do we fix this problem? Very simple, make our voices heard. Contact every representative in your state. Start local, like city, county and state representatives. Work up the chain to the Attorney General of your state, and even the Lieutentant Governor and Governor of your state. Tell them how upset you are. Tell them you DEMAND them to do something about it. If they dismiss you, find someone in your state that will listen, or make your voice be heard the loudest…at the voting booth.

Let retailers like Walmart, Gander Mountain, Bass Pro Shops, anyone in your area know that you disapprove of them seeling semi-automatic weaponry. Find out their corporate customer service number. Call them. Get your friends to call them. Retailers won’t do something unless they have an incentive to. Threaten a massive boycott in your town of their shop. Get them where it hurts, in their wallet.

Get a petition started to enact tighter gun control in your area. Get a petition in your area going to get more funding for mental health care. Almost all of these mass shooting incidents have been carried out my mentally disturbed individuals. The more people that can get the help they so desperately need, the greater likelihood that events such as Sandy Hook and Orlando won’t be repeated.

I am DJ Ursa, aka Jason Bintz, I am gay, and I stand with those in Orlando. I stand with Pulse. We WILL get through this.

Right now, I have splintered. Not shattered, splintered. In many pieces, but still somewhat together. Events that have occurred have caused this to happen. I'm hurt, I'm angry, I'm sad, the entire gamut of emotions. I lashed out at friends, lovers, people close in my life, not even family. Amends have been made by some but not others, and I've tried my best to make my apologies. Some have not been able to handle it and have chosen to break off contact. It hurts badly, even more than the events that predicated my splintering in the first place.
I sustained two attacks this week by those whom I trusted. One of whom has made a full apology, and the other well, let's just say that I will no longer be dealing with that particular individual after a recent posting they made. After reading the posting, my dragon immediately took notice and is on the warpath. The others are controlling him as best they can. Thankfully, as the person who has drawn my ire is several hours away so the likelihood that I will see them personally again anytime soon is rather slim to no chance at all. ​

The other person who apologized, I provided an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry upon, and advice, whether it was desired or not. They still remain a friend, a point of contention with the other mentioned individual. Throughout my life, I have sustained various forms of attacks both physical and emotional. I'm trying my best to just keep on going. But therapy and medications only go so far. My support network of people whom I trust now is razor thin and that frightens me.
The 'sonas I've been over the years have developed into aspects of my personality. Right now, the scared little cub is who I am. Crying, clutching the things most dear to him: reminders and memories of those who still love him. He sits in the lap of a rather overzealous, lustful tiger, who holds and cradles the cub like a mother would do for her own child. Behind them, growling and blowing smoke from his nostrils, is a very large, very angry golden dragon. Although raging, he protects the two sitting in front of him at all costs. He is their rage, their anger, their desire for retribution. He will never harm them and protects them as they slumber, ever vigilant.
The dragon, the tiger, and the little bear cub, all one and the same person, all me; and they all are hurting.

Ok. So yes I'm still here. Over the past several months, my overall health, both physical and emotional has gone slightly downhill. Specifically, the medications that help control my depression and anxiety have started to affect both my moods and my ability to sleep in negative ways. I have had no choice but to change meds and am trying to get back on more stable emotional footing. Although lately, my moods are about as stable as a house cheaply built on an active fault line.

I've returned to college and thanks to my recent downward emotional spiral, I wound up failing two of the 4 classes I was registered for. I'm trying to negotiate something with the college, but have no idea if things will change for the better.

I've become a hermit. I spend most of my day inside, either in my room on my tablet or netbook, or in my living room playing video games. I have no motivation to look for employment, as I've given up right now on any possibility of employment. I've been practically rejected from the retail industry saying I'm "overqualified" and "won't remain loyal." On one such interview that I went on, the manager actually told me to my face "I invest a lot of time and money training people. You seem like somebody who is going to find something better the first chance he gets." I replied, "Right now, I can't get a job in the industry I want due to the fact I need more education, which I'm currently pursuing. This means, until I have a Bachelor's degree, which will take approximately 2-4 years, I WILL be available. I do not have plans on going anywhere." Sadly, I did not get the job. Even recruiters in the IT industry where I have experience are telling me that the lack of at least an Associates degree in Information Systems or COmputer Science is what is killing me.

I fucking give up. Forget working. I want to go to school full-time and get this shit done.

Now onto an announcement:
One of my online personas, DJ Ursa who produces "Musical Cuisenart" has decided to kind of take over my brain for a while. I've been inspired to write little short stories inspired by music in my collection. Not only am I including the artist and title, but lyrics to the song are also included.

Called Musical Tales, they will be posted both here and on my site, DJ Ursa. I will try to post 1-2 per month, but will depend on life and simply how I am doing emotionally. The premiere entry was inspired by a group called Parachute out of Charlottesville, Virginia and their song "Something To Believe In." I hope to have it up in the next few days.



Thanks to some inspiration by  seht and after talking with  drakkon, I'm undertaking a little programming project that involves turning a board game into something playable on a computer. Debating on whether will be a text-only adventure or something more sophistacated

Let me start out by saying BAH Holiday season!!

Ok. Now that I've got your attention let me tell you why.

Through the course of my life so far, between Thanksgiving and New Year's, I have lost 3 close family members. The most recent, was an aunt who passed away from cancer five years ago this year. In that time, I have not seen my mother or grandmother for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Now here I am this year, together again with my mate of three years, reunited after being separated by over 400 miles living in our own place and I still can't find my joy.

I have members of a fur family all over the US and overseas and unfortunately, not going to get to see any of them for the holidays. So here I am, stuck at home, no car, barely making my rent, and no joy to find.

So once again, Bah Humbug!! Just another day as far as I'm concerned. I'm done. Wake me for New Year's and you BETTER have Champagne for me.

Name: Jason
Nickname: Rogal or Bear
Location: Just east of Albany,NY
Age: 36
Height: 6'3"
Zodiac sign: Leo
Any pets: 1 dog
Favorite thing about yourself: My love for the culinary arts
Worst habit: Arguing
Fun fact: Met Willard Scott while I was working in a grocery store

Identity, Sexuality & Personality

Gender identity: Male
Sexual preference: Male
Romantic preference: Male
Kinsey Scale" score: Predominantly Homosexual, more than incidentally hetero
Relationship status: Partnered but poly. Live with one mate, and online dating another
Myers/Briggs type: N/A
Hogwarts house: Slytherin

Routine

"Early Bird" or "Night Owl": Both. Usually up till 2-3am but awake as early as 7am.

Bath or shower: Shower if I have to go out or just wash up. Bath only when I need to calm my aches and pains.
First thought in the morning: Piss or paw?
Last thought before falling asleep at night: Missing my aussie beau

School/Work

Do you work or are you a student: Actively working for a job. Have to wait a year for residency for in-state tuition so not going to shool
Where do you see yourself in 5 years: Working on my MBA is Business Administration, while maybe running a supprt service desk

Habits (Do you…?)
Drink: Occasional glass of wine, shot of scotch.
Smoke: No.
Do Drugs: No.
Exercise: I think about it.
Have a go-to comfort food: Mashed potatoes with our without gravy, Mac&Cheese.
Have a nervous habit: Bite my nails.

What is your favorite…?
Physical quality (in yourself): My furry chest and belleh
In Others: Ability to hold a conversation first and foremost. Second, a nice frame with padding, not entirely h/w proportionate, but also not completely morbidly obese. A nice round belleh with or without fur.
Food: All of it :(
Drink: Tea, soda
Animal: Wolves, bears, big cats, little cats, ferrets, otters
Artist/Band/: Too many to name.
Author/Poet: Ditto.
TV Show: I miss cable! *sad bear* It would have been cooking shows, Law & Order,
Actor/Actress: Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnin, Robin Williams, Sam Watterson, E Patha merkerson, Time Curry
Blogger: I hardly read them cause I write them.

Ok. The ad campaign for NY tourism has been around as long as I can remember. Well, it's only taken me 30+ years to get back to the state where I was originally from, but here I am!

I am now officially in Troy,NY a suburb of NY with my mate. And the emotions are many. It's good to be back with him, which makes me happy. I'm sad because I'm away from family and friends, and lonely because until I can get a job, am stuck in the house all day. But also nervous because I'm going back to school in the fall to finish my Associates degree and once that is done, starting on my Bachelors in Management of Information Systems hopefully at the University of Albany.

I do want to single out one person though for not only making me feel welcome, but offering a shoulder and a mug of tea and some conversation (which has been long overdue.) The other night, this person invited me over for literally a midnight cup of tea and conversation and I wanted to thank them for it.

 seht Old friend, thank you so much. You are a true friend and I am glad to know you. Having the ability to converse with someone, to have a friend up here before I even came up here, and to open your home to my mate until we got things situated, I do not know how I will be able to repay you, so for starters, you have my undying gratitude for what you have done for me and my mate.

So a week from today I will be moving to be with my mate  Drakkon in Troy, NY a suburb of Albany. For the last several months, by the grace and generosity of  Seht my mate has had a place to stay up until our move.

With all my mate's working, he has managed to put some money away for our own apartment. Yes, we will have OUR OWN PLACE. If everything goes right, we may have the keys by tomorrow, which means he will begin moving in and getting things situated. He flies down next Friday into Reagan National in DC and I will finally be able to see him, to touch him; something I have not been able to do in the past ten months.

Part of me knows that I may actually cry from seeing him in person after so long and I think it more than likely will happen. After being apart from him for so long, I don't think I will let him go again.

Dare I say it? I think he might be "The One." The person I want to spend my life with.

Stolen (Creatively Borrowed from the very nice  Frostx )

Based upon Rogal Urson, my main fursona, and my overall personality

---

[ ] They are possessed by an angel
[ ] They are possessed by a demon
[ ] They are a werewolf/vampire/faerie
[x] They are physically strong.
[ ] They have a rare hair/fur color
[ ] Their eyes are an unusual color
[ ] This happens to be red
[ ] Their eyes change color
[ ] They have wings
[ ] They can grow extra body parts/shapeshift
[ ] They are immortal
[ ] They are a deity/demigod
[ ] (if a female) they have large boobs
[ ] (if a male) they are very muscular
[ ] They are very attractive to the opposite gender.
[x] They are telekinetic/pyrokinetic/etc
[x] They have sixth sense/can mind-read/etc
[ ] They have an object of some sort that gives them powers
[ ] They have a special ability/power, but they don't know about it yet
[ ] They were bestowed/cursed with these powers
[x] They are a healer
[x] They are from a very rich/royal family
[ ] They don't know that they are from a very rich/royal background
[ ] They have lost one/both of their parents
[ ] They ran away from home
[x] Their parents are cruel, uncaring, abusive etc.
[ ] They witnessed one/both of their parent's death
[ ] They are part angel/demon/faerie/some other mythical creature
[ ] They never knew their parents
[x] They were abused/spoiled as a child
[x] They are very attractive to the same gender
[x] They have lots of friends/no friends
[ ] They are emo/cutesy
[x] They look much younger/older than they really are.
[x] They are currently in a relationship
[x] They have lots of morals and state them a fair bit for example: 'I would rather be with my friends than with my boyfriend/girlfriend' 'Nothing matters more to me than my friends/family' 'I wouldn't hesitate to die in place of a friend' etc. It's fine if your OC has these beliefs/values, but if they constantly say them out loud/preach them to others, then we have a problem.
[ ] They have a mental disorder (Aspergers)
[x] They have an emotional disorder
[x] They struggle to stay sane
[x] They are a psycho
[ ] They have multiple personalities
[ ] They are very intelligent
[ ] They have hallucinations
[ ] They can summon spirits/demons/angels etc.
[ ] They have an unusual/unrealistic pet
[x] They have a guardian spirit
[ ] They have a 'special type' of soul
[x] Their soul is not the same as them
[x] They can talk to spirits/ghosts
[x] Some part of their body glows
[ ] They have a rare/unusual name
[ ] They were born on an important date, such as New Year's Eve, Midsummers Night, The Winter Solstace etc.
[ ] They have a twin/sibling that they were separated from at birth/a young age
[x] They are connected with a certain element
[x] They are connected with a certain animal
[ ] They always dress like a certain 'label'
[ ] They look quite a bit like a character from a popular anime/manga
[ ] They are a race/species that is discriminated against/misunderstood
[ ] They have a certain power that is misunderstood/feared
[ ] They live/lived on the streets at some point in their lives
[ ] They are hiding from someone/something
[ ] They have a rare blood type
[ ] They cry blood
[x] Certain noises/smells/situations/etc make their powers activate/give them a nervous breakdown
[ ] They are from a different country to where they live
[ ] They are very mysterious/dark
[x] They are very lively/happy
[x] Their mood changes a lot/very quickly
[ ] They are very patient
[ ] They are from a long line of..
[x] They have a piece of jewelry/clothing that they always wear
[ ] They have amnesia
[ ] They have some sort of permanent medical condition
[ ] The have a curse upon them
[ ] They are involved in some sort of prophecy
[ ] They are 'The Chosen One'
[x] They have insomnia

Take points off your OCs overall score if they fit any of the following statements:

[x] They smoke
[ ] They are an alcoholic
[x] They are overweight
[ ] They are addicted to drugs
[x] They have a short temper
[ ] They enjoy bullying others
[ ] They do not care much about others
[ ] They are emotionless
[ ] They have no moralities
Total: 23

---

17-26 Borderline Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu
We have a problem. You need to tone your character down. They are most likely a bit annoying to others, too.

---

Well, considering my main fursona is also my persona, I'm not surprised. I know I'm messed up!

Just a thought, if ALL states were required to add those with mental illness to the programs, would it really be so bad? Think it would really help people? Would it really cost all that much??? Your thoughts? (Kind of raging right now, and not sure why.)

As I go through my days, I am becoming more and more submissive. The below content is something that a friend posted in a chat room. These rights can be translated into just about any relationship Please share.


Puppy’s Bill of Rights
1. Every puppy has the right to have his body, intellect, and emotions protected by his Dom.
2. Every puppy has the right to choose the man whom he serves and to discontinue that service and take his leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
3. Every puppy has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in his submission.
4. Every puppy has the right to protected sex if he so wishes.
5. Every puppy has the right to privacy if he so wishes. No puppy can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without his expressed desire to be so.
6. Every puppy has the right to defend himself from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
7. Every puppy has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.
8. Every puppy has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other subs and Doms without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.
9. Every puppy has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.
10. Every puppy has the right to protect his own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.
SIRS: Please copy and paste this Bill of Rights into your online profiles if you wish to let subs know how you feel about their rights.
Subs, boys, and pups: Please include the Bill in your online profiles and take a stand against abuse.

Well, we're a month and a half into a new year. Nothing in my holiday wish list came to be, so why should I really care about today?

There are two people right now in my life that I really love. One is my mate, who I'm going to see next month, and the other is my lion, whom I'm not sure when I'm going to see again. So here I sit alone today while it seems like most of my friends are with someone and to be honest, it kind of pisses me off. I resisted so hard to try to not become one of those bitter people on Valentine's day, but in this case, it's too late.

So in closing, fuck this day and everything it stands for. I'm going back to bed. Wake me when this day is over.

For almost all of my life, Thanksgiving and Christmas were my favorite times of year. I mean besides the food and the presents. It was the time with family. I grew up Roman Catholic, so on my dad's side of the family was quite large. He was one of five children, so there's a lot of cousins, nieces, nephews, and what not. Several years, we would travel from Virginia to upstate New York to visit with my grandmother for Christmas. The day after Christmas, sometimes called Boxing Day would be spent with my dad's side of the family. One of my relatives, who had a huge old house in town, would have this massive spread of food and drink. We would eat, drink, and just hang out spending time with family.

Fast forward to now. Since about the mid 90s, I've lost my great grandmother on mom's side around Thanksgiving, my dad's sister (whom I was very close with) the day after Christmas, and my mom's youngest sister (whom I had started reconnecting with) a few days after Christmas. Right when my Aunt on mom's side started going downhill, is when my mom stopped seeing me for Christmas. She would travel to Florida to go see her other sister, leaving me and my mate alone. Last Christmas, my mate decided we would go visit with his family, which I really did enjoy. This year, if you've been paying attention, he's not with me, so for the first time in my life, I will be without family for Christmas.

The holiday season is about joy and coming together as family and for this season, this year, the bear has nothing. Why should I be joyful when there is nothing in my life right now that brings me joy? It's just another day as far as I'm concerned. Maybe I'll just hibernate. Someone wake me for New Year's Eve, ok?

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5259913/



Ok favorite animal, tie between bears and dragons. Furthermore, they look even sexier in bondage gear.

Ok. So part of this post is going to be a slight rant. We need to stop this habit of making the holiday season longer and longer. When I was growing up, although Black Friday was a big deal in my family, it was also the weekend I moved into Reston,Virginia.

The holiday season for me always began the first weekend of December. Friday night would be grocery shopping, with something easy to make that night. Saturday morning, we would get up, have breakfast together, brew a thermos of either spiced cider or hot chocolate and jump in the car and drive to a Christmas tree farm. After finding what we felt was the "perfect" tree, we would bring it home, cut about an inch off the trunk and keep it in a bucket of water to rehydrate it for the night. Sunday morning would be the first week of advent, so after coming back from church and having our traditional Sunday dinner, we would get out the Christmas decorations and decorate the house first. After bringing in the tree and getting it situated in the tree stand, we would then put on some Christmas music on the stereo and decorate the tree. That I knew was the start of my holiday season.


So my wish list for this year:

1. A decent paying job
2. A nice 2br apartment in the Albany, NY area
3. Being reunited with my boyfriend
4. A car ( doesn't matter what it is, just that it runs good!)
5. Something nice from Bad Dragon
6. A long visit from my lion
7. Someone to help me design a pendant, and some rings
8. Time with my family on dad's side
9. New cellphone with at least a few months of service pre-paid
10. A friend with benefits to help me learn to take better care of myself physically

Ok. So i've had a 3DS for a while now. Well, recently after getting reviews from online and offline friends, I broke down and bought Pokemon X. This is the first Pokemon game I have actually bought and played. I gotta say I am enjoying it.

So, here's what I'm wanting: Friend Codes! Give me your friend codes please!

Mine is 1134-7513-5168

Ok, if you haven't heard me talk about this before, here goes. I am a big music person. I love listening to music, I love talking about it. So about a year or so ago, I decided to produce a blog talking about my favorite music pieces and why it was important to me. Well, fast forward to about a month ago. After getting my paws on a copy of Adobe Creative Cloud on educational discount, I decided to take the msuic blog a step further and decided to create a podcast from it.

Just in the last couple days, I managed to finish the script for the initial show and am about ready to start recording and editing the show. At the website of my blog, I've already posted the initial track listing up so you can go find the tracks on your own.

The Power Of Music, hosted by DJ Asru (Me of course)

http://powerofmusic.rogalcvora.net

Please check it out, leave a comment or two!

The dragon whom I've spent the last 2+ years of my live was evicted from the house that he and I were living in. Worst part is, I was permitted to stay in the house. As I write this journal, my dragon is traveling with some good friends of mine making his way up to upstate new York.

I'm trying so hard to keep myself together, but I fear I will lose the battle. I want to lose control, I want to actually feel utter sadness and unbridled anger because I have lost someone whom I care for as more than just a friend. We were lovers at one point, but it did not work out as we had hoped. We still are good friends, and to have someone who has seen you at your absolute worst and still want to be there for you says something.

I will probably be locking myself in my den as much as I can for the next week. Please please if you have Skype, jump on and say something to me. Anything, even if it is just a hug.

DHTAssociatesLLC on Skype

This is a repost. I do not know this person, but am willing to help in any way I can. This person had 2 fursuits taken from her. Please help track, and locate them so we can get them back to her soon!

Details can be found here:

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5114092/

I want to get off. I'm done with this planet.