IF YOU GUYS DIDN'T KNOW, MY NEW ACCOUNT IS "WEEABOO." IM NOT USING THIS ONE ANYMORE.

I'm 20 today. I also had to work today. Awesome.

Also, for those for you living under a rock, I'm over at  weeaboo now. Have been since September.

Nothing fills you with more pleasure than staring someone down from 40 feet away. Someone that you once cared about, and thought they were the same to you. Making them look at the ground in shame because they know how bad they fucked you over.

Makes you feel special.

The long part

I come home, talk to my parents for a minute. My dad asks for the rent money and I tell him that I've already told him that I am unable to pay it until the 7th when I get my check. I re-explain and go back to my room for about 10 minutes until I decide to hit up CounterStrike only to see my ping hitting 800+. That's not a problem, since I can just go out and unplug the computer from the router (since, you know, I just pay the part of the cable bill that covers the internet connection) and state "Hey, if you wouldn't mind, if you're not using the connection, please unplug the pc from the router since it kills the connection."

My dad starts ranting on how I'm not paying the bills (BULLSHIT) and such. After words were exchanged, I said "I'm gonna go for a drive" and turned around towards my room. My dad mutters something as he's getting up to drunkenly chase me but I make it to my room and lock the door, placing my foot at the base. He ran into the door, full force, busting it at the handle. I step back after he hits it a couple more times and just say nothing as he gets in my face. I can't even remember what he said to me, but I just wanted his drunk ass out of my face so I could leave.

He walks out of the room, I TRY to close the door and see that the thing is unable to ever close again. I mutter "Great, now I don't have a door that closes." My dad hears this, runs over, drop kicks the door (leaving a huge hole in the wall where the handle hit) and then rips it from the hinges yelling "WELL NOW YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKING DOOR."

I put my laptop in my case and walk past Angie, who for once doesn't say a damn thing about it.

I need a place to live. Seriously, I need some place within a couple days since I know I will outgrow my welcome at  dae's after a few nights.

WEEABOO! WEEABOO! WEEABOO!

A few quotes from last night at the drag show:

"Now all you straight boys, don't mouth off to the queens. I know how it is when you get all that alcohol in you and ya'll wanna act tough, but lemme tell you this; us drag queens, we fight in packs. I don't know if you play poker, but four queens will be a straight any day!"

- Destiny Michaels

Destiny: "Lemme get an attitude check!"
Crowd: "Fuck you bitch!"
Destiny: "FUCK THAT, GIMME AN ATTITUDE CHECK!"
Crowd: "FUCK YOU BITCH!"
Destiny: I SAID GIMME AN ATTITUDE CHECK!"
Crowd: "FUCK YOU BITCH!"

"For all you virgins to the show, welcome to out little whore-house. Applause costs you nothing, bu it's customary that if you see something you like, tip the ladies a dollar. Trust me, they work hard for it. If you don't see anything, come over to the dressing room door and I'll be sure to accept it and tell the ladies why they didn't get it. We got four walls, a drag show, and tons of liquor. There's NO reason as to why you shouldn't be fucked up!"

- Destiny Michaels

"Well its sunday morning
And the sun is shining in my
Eye that is open
And my head is spinning
Was the life of the party
I can't stop grinning
I had too much tequllia last night

Jose Quervo
You are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with
A little salt and lime
Did I kiss all the cowboys
Did I shoot out the lights
Did I dance on the bar
Did I start any fights

Now wait a minute
Things don't look to familiar
Who is the cowboy whos sleeping beside me
Well he's awful cute
But how'd I get his shirt on
I had too much tequllia last night

Jose Quervo
You are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with
A little salt and lime
Did I kiss all the cowboys
Did I shoot out the lights
Did I dance on the bar
Did I start any fights

All those little shooters
How I love to drink them down
Come on bartender lets have another round
Well the music is playing
And my spirits are high
Tomorrow might be painful
But tonight we're going to fly

Jose Quervo
You are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with
A little salt and lime
Everytime we get together
I sure have a good time
You're my friend, you're the best
Mi amigo(Tequllia)

Jose Quervo
You are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with
A little salt and lime
Did I kiss all the cowboys
Did I shoot out the lights
Did I dance on the bar
Did I start any fights

Jose Quervo
You are afriend of mine"

- Layla Foxxx (A.K.A. "The Country Cunt")


Come to Savannah. Best drag show on earth.

And so that's it. I've cut off all ties with anyone that refuses to speak with me here in Savannah. I've posted a "thanks for the good times" thing on my website, but to keep as much drama down as possible, I'm not linking to it. I was just tired of trying to talk to people and getting no where with it.

It's pretty damn low of someone to just shun someone without knowing the full story. Instead of going off of a short e-mail, they should have replied to have me explain more. But, they'd rather wash their hands of me, so I guess I have to put on a cheery face like they do and show them what I'm capable of. I may be young, dumb, and full of shit, but at least I can sling it like they can.

I be here until Sundayish.

Well, my PC is dead. Good timing too since i just got a new cell phone (and plan) from Verizon. I'm browsing FA on my new LG enV. YAY. so yeah. I might be online again tomorrow if my contact in beaufort sc is able to help me out with a dumpster-diving expedition or something.

my aim and yim are on. I have unlimited text, so be my guest if you want to talk to me, just tell me who you are in the beginning so i don't think youre a crazy stalker or something.

Later!

...kinda. I got out of the Army for a few reasons, mainly since I was deceived into taking an MOS that I didn't want at all (don't listen to anything unless it's on paper).

I'll be home TUESDAY where I can sort out all FOUR THOUSAND submissions or something. Later.

I guess I can't even spend the night at someone's house without ruining any chance of a relationship with someone.

gg me.

I leave for Basic on Wednesday morning. I won't be back until after July 27th. Then I go to AIT on the 30th.

I've been feeling like shit for the past couple of weeks because I know I won't have anything to look forward to coming back to. Well, I guess fate has to prove me wrong every chance it gets.

I will kind of have someone to look forward to seeing once I get back. I plan on getting to know him more over time and seeing where it goes from there.

At least now I'm no longer thinking of the person that crushed my heart not too long ago. My heart is set for the future.

I got  growly drunk last night. She is like, totally awesome when drunk too.

*hugs the bear*

I am now a part of the United States Army. My MOS is 86D, Explosive Ordinance Disposal Specialist.

Here's the shitty part. I ship out next Thursday. I really, really didn't want to go so soon, but I guess it's what I'm gonna have to do.

Here's another shitty part: I have no bonuses. Since I had a GED instead of a diploma, I had to take some shitty personality test which I apparently failed. So, no $40K. Fuck.

I've got a lot to do in the coming week. A lot of drinking. A lot of partying, and a lot of sex that I know I won't get. "The sex you want, you don't get. The sex you get, you don't want."

Dad bought me shit to make Liquid Cocaines. We're going to get fucked up Friday night. Saturday night, I'm going to take what's left and I'm going to party over at Blair's place as my "going away" party.

Also, I demand giftarts of me doing my job: blowing shit up. Bomb-de-bomb. Bomba.

[04:43] Rojpup: wow, like, she's one of a handful of hot artists
[04:44]  dae: Hey, fuck you
[04:44] Rojpup: don't assume you're not one of them, betch
[04:44]  dae: Wouldn't hurt to HEAR it, furfag :/
[04:45] Rojpup: Dae, I would totally hit that all night, or until I blew my wad

So last night I chilled with Sev and his straight (but closet homosexual) roomie. It was cool, going out to a diner and BEING ABLE TO SMOKE INSIDE A RESTARAUNT. I <3 SC.

On the way back today, I stopped at a Firewroks stand just for the hell of it. I was actually looking for good 'ol "Moon Travelers" because I missed them from my childhood. Plus, 144 of them for $6 is awesome. I looked around and couldn't find them, so I asked the guy at the counter about them. He told me that they had been outlawed in South Carolina for nearly 5 years. Apparently people were having too much fun with them (shooting them at each other). So I dropped $13 on 4 dozen of these huge bottle rockets and drove home to jerk off, get something to eat, and go to work.

I show up at work and find out one of my co-workers is holding and wonders if I want to buy some. So I drop $15 on like, 4 grams or something. Not much, but I didn't need much. The night goes on, the fireworks are still sitting in my back seat, and I get cashed out when Chris comes over and asks if I can hook him up with some Taco Bell. I oblige and ask what he's gonna hook me up with. He smiles and nods, and I ask him "You want some fireworks with your tacos?"

So I drive down to Kentucky Fried Tacos and order what he wanted and head on back.

A small note. Yes, it's 4/20. And yes, the cops in Richmond Hill are out like flies on shit. From the time I got from my job to Taco Bell, I saw FIVE separate cars pulled over all over Richmond Hill.

So I'm driving back and I see a charger pull behind me. I notice I'm doing 34, so I maintain that due to the speed limit being 35. I go to turn onto Ford Avenue and the blues come on.

Fuck.

My seatbelts aren't functional AND I'm holding. Thankfully it's in my sock. So I pull over, pull out my registration and insurance from ym visor, pull my ID from my wallet, and ask him what was the matter? He told me that I had filed to maintain a lane (wtf?) and seatbelts....even though I have on a lap restraint. He looks around my car for a sec and asks for the fireworks on my back seat. I had no idea that it was illegal to posess Class 4 Explosives, as I thought it was only illegal to set them off. So I step out of my car, hand the rest of them to him, and he goes back to the car. I block out the fact that I have pot in my sock.

Work calls me. It's Landin. He asks me "Did you just get pulled over?"

"Yeah"
"Are you on a speaker phone?"
"No."
"Do you have anything else that is illegal on you?"
"...yeah."
"Fuck. I wish you the best of luck!"
"Yeah, I'm gonna need it."

So I step over to his cruiser and ask him what his name was. It was Fowler. This guy HATES everyone that works at Big Pete's because of some really bad service he had one time. He makes it a point to pull over anyone that works there and searches their car. So I introduce myself and tell him that my father, Duane, drives for Raulerson's and that he told me that he was a former recruiter for the Army. I wanted to talk to a former recruiter so I knew of all the questions I needed to ask about a certain MOS before I read any more into it. I then let him proceed to what he was doing and go back to lean against my car. He calls me over and he hands me my liscense and papers and our conversation goes like this:

Fowler: "You think your father can drive over here and pick up these fireworks?"
Me: "No sir. He is off this weekend and I've already talked to him. He is at home kicking back some beers. You can confinscate them if you wish."
Fowler: "Well, I can't even confinscate them myself. It is illegal to posess them myself."
Me: "Well, what are we gonna do?"
Fowler: *5 seconds of silence* "Alright, let's do this. You get those fireworks off my hood, put them in your trunk, go over to South Carolina, blow stuff up, and have a good night. Just don't bring any back into this state."
Me: "Really?"
Fowler: "Really. Next time it'll be a citation."
Me: "Sir, I can't thank you enough."

We shoot the shit for a few more minutes about when I could talk with him about the Army, and we part our ways.

I get back in my car and begin to laugh so hard like a maniac. I laugh for two miles until I get to Big Pete's. I get out the food and laugh harder as I walk inside. I hand him his food and a dozen bottle rockets in a bag. We BS and he hands me a quarter bag.

Long story short, I haven't told my dad about the pot, but I told him of all the other things. He says I need to run into a brick wall a few times.

Anywho, I have some smoke, and want to smoke it with soemone, but someone who isn't an asshole to me. Like, someone who's talked to me within the last week.

Every time I try to actually start a relationship with someone, they won't even give me a chance to show them what I have to offer.

Not even ONE.

I've become numb to sex. Oddly enough, for someone that comes off as a whore like I do, it just doesn't sound right. To explain, I really don't crave "sex". It's been seen by many of my friends on the fact that I'm not craving sex, but more or less "love".

It almost can relate to why some 12-14 year old girls want to have sex with older men. It's because they crave the love that they never got from their father. Albeit they weren't craving sexual love, but just more of a nurturing love. Now, before you assume that it's because "my father didn't love me" or something, it's not. My family has given me so much throughout my life, I couldn't be any more grateful than to have such a wonderful group of people to call my own.

What I'm trying to say is that every time I have a feeling for something to be shoved up my butt, it isn't so much a sexual urge. My mind pretty much lumps "sex" and "love" into the same exact category. Sometimes I'm able to block out the "love" section and just go with it and get off, but most of the time I just really can't get off until I block that out. Sometimes I need to lure myself into a false sense of love in order for me to get off at all, so in the end I seem to be confused.

In short, I hate sex if there is no love involved. It may feel good for the first hour, but after that I just get depressed something hardcore.

I haven't been in a relationship in nearly 7 months. I've been actively looking for someone, and yet every time I find someone I either take too long to actually tell them that I have an interest, find out that in the meantime they are fucking someone else, find out that they once had a feeling for me but had given up on me, or that the feeling is not mutual.

The fact is that I really can't stand "hooking up" anymore. It just pisses me off, because I go looking for love, get sex, and nothing else. I don't know about it, but I seriously doubt why I'm in the fandom anymore. I mean, I could look for a good non-furry boyfriend in my area, but it's all ugly-ass faggots and 40-year old chickenhawks. I'm not into that kinda shit.

The sad thing about me is how I play with facades all the time. I hide behind a mask because I don't want to show my true insides, being a very loving and caring individual who will do anything to have a friend. The worse part is how people would prey upon people like me and then use them.

All people like me ask for is appreciation. You know, positive re-enforcement like "You know, we really like having you around" and shit like that. Make you feel wanted and make you feel closer to those people that you care for. I can't even get that sometimes.

All I really need right now is someone for me to care for. I want to look forward to getting off of work to go see someone. I want to be able to go out to a movie and not have to sit alone like I have so many times before. I want to be able to actually go out and hold hands with someone that I love.

But it seems that all people have to offer anymore is a bed, a rubber (if that) and a lubed-up asshole rather than a hand. I'm not fucking like that anymore.

It's over. It was a good run, but the 6-second delay sucked. A few tards got though and made it great, but overall, it was only a semi-fail.

How the fuck do I have over 1300 pageviews?

Doesn't exist yet, well, it will in a few hours. I'm creating it as a way to have a fur board with no DNP list. As many previous boards in the past have failed because it got out of hand, at this point I'm not dumping any large sum into it. My total cost will be $3.99/month for hosting (from my previous host that I left in January), $1.95 for the domain for a year (they're having a sale) $1.95 for private registration (sale again), and another $1.95 for my main URL (rojadrik.com).

Now, for those of you that think "Well the DNP is for the respect of the artists' wishes". I could care less about it. Quite a few artist friends of mine agree that DNP lists cause more drama on a board than just letting it go, because I can always ban said artist or cronies of said artist for being douches and stirring up trouble on the board that they are not directly contributing to. Simply put, if you're there to cause trouble, you won't be there for long. Goodbye 250+ artist DNP list!

My final paycheck will deposit within the hour, I'll begin the process of setting up the site. Once again, if there is anyone out there that has experience setting up and/or running a Wakaba-based site, please shoot them my way. I could use the help...

*EDIT* If you feel that this is unjust, please feel free to do something else because you're not going to change my mind.

I got myself an iPod Nano 2GB tonight. I told myself for years that I'll never get one, but I guess I lied to myself....

Also, I AM THE CHEESE. I AM THE GREATEST CHARACTER ON THE SHOW. I AM BETTER THAN THE BOLOGNA AND THE SALAMI COMBINED!

Ever have ones of those days where you just want to strangle half of your "friends"? I have a select handful of people I call "friends". It takes someone special to get there, someone I can get along with and would do anything for. Such things like driving to their house 20 miles away at 5AM because they just broke up with their boyfriend so I could be there to comfort her.

I won't do that for many people. Whoever I do that for needs to really appreciate the small things like that, because that's all I really want when I end a relationship or something bad happens.

Today I've come to the realization that most people I call "friends" don't care much for me. I understand why, but over time I've worked the best I can on the things that annoyed them the most. I felt I did a pretty good job on that considering my manners made me look like I was raised by wolves.

One thing that annoys me is when I call someone up, the phone rings once, and I get their voicemail. When it happens all the time regardless of the time of day, to me that's like saying "I don't want to fucking deal with you." Another thing regarding phone conversations (this goes for text conversations too) is when a person hangs up on me while we're in the middle of a conversation. Now, dropped calls are a different story, because the person usually calls back in 3 seconds apologizing for it. After 10 seconds of no call, I call back and get the voicemail, it really pisses me off.

My friends are close to me. I like to keep my friends close like a "pack" or family. One person I consider my "big sister" that I never had because she's done so much to help me, and her home is like a second home to me. I treat her with as much respect as I can, and I only expect the same from her. It's only fiar.

Well, my other friends seem to come in a few types: sexual (usually wanting to get in my pants half the time), deceptive (generally only wanting me around to use me), and facade (putting on a front and talking nothing but shit behind my back). I really don't notice it until a while after the fact even after everyone else is telling me that they are, in fact, talking shit behind my back and really not even wanting me around.

I can probably count one person out of my original friends here in Savannah (this is within the people I've known for about 2 years now). The reason is because I've yet to really hear anything "hurtful" from him. Everyone else seems to talk the most shit, and he's really not online very often so there's about three people that I could honestly say are the people that have been telling people that I'm really "not wanted around" anymore.

That's fine. Friends like that seem to use "bubblegum logic." Have your fun times with it and once it loses it's flavor, stick it to the bottom of the table.

Makes me feel like a true friend. Looks like my trust is still handed out too easily. People who have my trust shouldn't abuse it...

I'm trying to buy  dae's Border Collie mutt, Cassie. So far the total amount offered is $500 and/or my car.

Still no deal...