Welp the drive is still dead but in searching some things I found what might be a savior. A DVD-R disk labeled 'Terran wars'

Unfortunately I currently do not have a optical drive. So I guess it's time to go get an external optical and see what's on this disk.

Was booting up my computer just now and heard a 'pop!' From the enclosure that my data drive that I keep story rough drafts and old finished projects on. Opened the enclosure up and acrid smoke from the control board wafts up so the drive itself is dead.

Most of what I've been working on is backed up on Google drive so that is good. Unfortunately the finished files for the middle two books I had written for 'Terran Wars' are gone and I was seriously considering going back and posting these hear after a few changes:(

Yeup, for anyone here that cares, I'm still here. I don't post too much anymore because honestly life has gotten very hectic. I do not work in the same place that I did for close in 17 years, and it has taken a lot of adjusting to get use to that fact as well as my family re-aligning to the new 'normal'

To add to that comes the virus, and a new normal on top of that. We are all safe but my asshole attractor is strong and stuck on the 'on' position. we've had to deal with a lot of crud recently, not all of it related to the current world situation. I just haven't felt much like talking over the last few years and plans I've had have gone to the wayside, and as everyone can see, my writing has gone out the window as well.

For the two or three of you that left a nice note seeing if we are ok, we're fine, just tired.

for the equally few of you that have been nothing but frustrations in the note section, not really a good time for that crap I'm still ignoring you.

I still lurk and everyone here is safe I'm just tired and at the end of the rope as far as inspiration.

Seems like lately when I have a piece already done for a while *looks directly at his old Terran Wars stuff* it takes me longer to post it. I keep making excuses suc as 'ugh I have something else I need to do' or some such. I think I just need to buckle down and post.

Wierd title but here me out on this. Recently a few of my friends have been having frustrations with people either wanting free art, and getting huffy when they say no, or being very antagonistic when told that it will cost 'X' ammount of money. Basically they are being told that 'well you charge too much I could get this drawn for a lot cheaper!'

Her's my opinion then, go to that person that is offering the cheaper art, don't as Wil Wheaton would say 'Be a Dick.' (and that's probably as harsh a language you'll get out of me)

Full disclosure: I *have* received gift art in the past. My use icon was a wonderful sketch that a friend *did not have to draw me* but did. I also will not turn down any gift pieces friends are willing to offer me. However, as someone who has no talent at all in the visual arts I am perfectly willing to commission folks.

Now, one might be wondering why I tend to only one commission one person. There are several factors in that, a large one is that this person is one that I trust implicitly not only with producing results, but also how they treat my characters.

There is another reason unfortunately, that is cost. Yes, I've just gone on record saying that if you don't like the price get over yourself and now I'm talking about people being too expensive for me to commission. Well, here is the rest of the story: I would pay their prices if I could. See its not *there* fault that I do not have a large sum of disposable income. There are *several* artist that I would be ecstatic to commission. One, because their art is absolutely gorgeous, two, because I trust them. I'm not mentioning names because I don't want to be seen as trying to butter someone up to suck free art from, no that isn't what this is about.

What it is about is the fact that this art, is an artists job. Its kind'a in the job description, and in the name after all. Its how they make a living. I don't want to hear 'oh they should be doing it for the fun of it' or 'well they should do free art for exposure!' Hey, big news flash folks. Exposure and 'fun' don't pay the bills. The same way with every responsible person out there artists have to make money. I also don't want to hear 'well they should get 'real jobs' and do the art as a hobby. News flash people, artist *IS* a real job! You can even go to college for it!

As people who admire and love their art, we should be willing to pay their fees, its how they can continue to make money. And if, like me, you find yourself in a position that you can't afford someone you really want to commission? Don't be a dick. Just don't bother them.

And hey, I have a better idea! Even if we can't afford them ourselves? Instead of demanding they lower their prices lets point people we know who *can* afford them and are quite willing to buy things from artists to them! It'd be a great way to help them out!

Normally I would not even talk about this, but I think it needs to be said. Over the past few months every once and a while I will get a note from someone that has read a story. I will not divulge names, that's not what this is for. However while they do seem to enjoy at least a read through, they always have one comment:

'X character really should be paired with Y because......'

I responded once telling this person clearly that 'no, you do not know the characters. This is how it is.' After that I simply ignored the notes after reading them once, deleting them.

Today I come home from work with a note pleading for me to 'stop ruining 'Y' character's life!' They were going to write how things 'should' be.

Now you are perfectly within your rights to want a certain character's story to go a different path. I could name quite a few books where I have wished an author would have made a different decision, or I have written fan works where an even did not happen the way it did in the published works. That's ok, its perfectly reasonable and I don't want people to think I'm hypocritical in saying otherwise.

What IS wrong however is telling a person that you will rewrite the story for them to show them where you are wrong. I'm sorry muffin but it just doesn't work that way. These are not your characters, you don't get to decide their paths in what I write. My story is just that MY story and honestly I'm probably going to what little amount of people actually read my work here, but if you really don't like the portrail I have of a character I created, I'm sorry then it is probably best to stop reading. The thing you don't do is pester and whine about it until that person changes their mind. I can guarantee 99% of the time? That's never going to happen unless you have a certain title in front of your name:

Editor

So unless you are my Editor, I'm sorry you don't get to make decisions on my characters. I won't respond, I won't be mean. I just won't listen.

Real life over the last couple years has been hectic, and I've been doubting my own ability as an author.

I do have some more stories but what I post for the next few months probably will be much shorter, and related to the family of characters that  zannah have been drawing for me the last couple years.

I originally wasn't going to say anything about this save to my friends but we had an... altercation yesterday with my eldest. Simply put she was the target of a very severe bullying incident.

Recently my daughter has through a lot of hard work won several medals in gymnastics. She took one of them to school for show and tell because she was rightly excited to tell her friends in her class. A girl that was in her class last year heard about it and decided she needed to be taught about showing off. In the front of the school she yanked my daughter back by her hair, shoved her down scraping my daughter's face and breaking her glasses, then proceeded to use scissors to start to cut her hair. A teacher made it to them pulling the older girl off.

The girl is expelled and other legal proceedings are starting but as of this moment she is completely unrepentant and refused to apologize.

My daughter has been obviously upset by this. The good thing is she has a lot of friends (being in a private school she tends to have the same classmates from year to year) and sisters and a brother that have been protecting her and helping to cheer her up but she's still scared and is scared she is a show off now.

To those that may not believe it, and I know you are out there, bullying has consequences. This is an example of that. Both physical and emotional. I'm tired of seeing people treat this as a 'no victim' crime. As a teacher i see it as parents say 'oh its just harmless, its how children get tough for the real world.' I'm sorry but when someone is attacked, physically or mentally it is hurtful and wrong. People need to understand that and if a little good comes from this, it won't be 'good' but lets just say that it will feel like notice has been sent.

Raising a little 'geek-ette' especially one as shy as my eldest can have some 'interesting' this morning after being a bit reserve about the house for most of yesterday afternoon she tells me that her teacher was 'a little disappointed' in her creative writing project she turned in yesterday. Now, this being a third grade class I'm thinking she might not have been happy with some thing Little Miss (what I will call her no offense to anyone) had done with her paper, or maybe it was the coloring she likes to do in the edges of her paper as well.

Well, after a little prodding I find out its actually the content of her story. This teacher, who is admittedly the first that I haven't 'cheated' a bit and hand-picked for the kids wasn't too happy with the fact that Little Miss was writing a science fiction story, and not only that a science fiction story that dealt with star trek because she was worried it was not 'proper' for a young lady. While she didn't hit her grade wise it was obvious she was displeased and I went in and talked to her this afternoon while everyone was at practices she confirmed the story basically she admitted to trying to push Little Miss into fiction interests that were more acceptable for her 'personality.' She thoguht she was doing the right thing and I would thank her for it.

I was obviously a tad upset. I told the teacher that we encourage the children if they like something or not, like her younger sisters's love for Star Wars, and all the girls 'addiction' to ponies. I asked her not to try to 'steer' Little Miss unless it really was vital to the assignment. I'm not planning on being the bull in the china shop but still its a little frustrating...

A mother came in for a conference today to ask about some of teh requirements for my APUSH class and ACT prepping that I help with. Very 'prim and proper' she took one look at the bookshelf behind my desk (where I keep books I let my students 'check out') and nearly lost her eyes. I asked her what was wrong and she pointed to several of the science fiction and fantasy books I keep there along with all my history texts I check out for reference materials.

Lady: You... You like these?

Me: Yes, all the students know up front that I'm a bit of a science fiction fan,

Lady pointing to a TNG book: Is that... what's that series called, the one with the bald man in the red uniform?

Me: Star Trek, yes ma'am.

Lady seeing my 'lend able' copies of the Thrawn Trilogy: Is that the one with the laser swords?

Me: Star Wars, yes ma'am.

Lady with a very nervous look on her face : I'm not so certain I like the idea of my son being taught by one of... you.

Me: One of 'us' ma'am?

Lady: Geeks, nerds, the men that live in their mother's basements and collect things from those shows and movies, that haven't grown up. I find you rather... scary and I am not at all certain about a single man with questionable living habits in as my son's teacher.

Son who had been quiet and trying not to groan at his mother the entire time : Mom, um, Mr. Tigges is married.

Lady: But he can't be dear, men like him never attract women, they scare them off.

Son who is trying very hard to be respectful : Um... mom your kind'a being rude. Mr. Tigges is married to sister's Lit teacher Mrs. Tigges and those are his kids * the son promptly points to the pictures on my desk. * I really don't think he lives alone in the dark mom.

To give the lady her credit, she was mortified she'd even jumped to that conclusion and couldn't say sorry fast enough but still I was a bit upset at the woman jumped to that conclusion to begin with.

1) You eagerly help your daughter get ready for her gymnastics meet including asking her and I quote: "Honey what color sparkly stuff goes in your hair this time?"

2) You are the one, not your wife (who is admittedly keeping an eye on everyone else) that is doing your daughter's hair for said meet.

3) You realize you can now be classified as a 'Sports Dad' and your car even has those stickers on it with your children's sports and their names

4) Said car is no longer the classic Mustang you restored with your father, but a Volvo station wagon

5) You have no real interest in seeing blockbuster super-hero or giant robot movies, but a movie with an annoying country pickup-truck? You find yourself excited about going to that.

6) You have ever *WILLINGLY* worn makeup to get a laugh out of one of your children

7) You have absolutely *NO* problems with being 'that guy' you know, the one that is toting around all sorts of extra stuff be it your daughter's gym-bag, your wife's purse or a comfort stuff animal poking out of your own backpack.


This is just a really abbreviate list when I sat down for a few moments of spare time at my daughter's gymnastics meet this weekend, and seeing some fathers that were actually embarrassed to be seen at a sporting event or toting around obviously feminine things. Now, I will say this out of all the other men I saw there, I would say the vast majority of them were very supported of their daughters (the boy's competition was held in a different gym) but at the same time a large group of them seemed to be embarrassed to admit that around other men and I got some really weird looks when I put the makeup on to try to calm my daughter down a bit between rotations.

Sometimes I think society at least here in the United States emphasize men being a bit too manly, that we should cry or be seen being 'soft.' *shrugs* I think its a bad thing for the family, any family.

Today was an... odd day for me, I forgot there was an off-schedule primary here where we live so no school. SPent most the day doing chores and having ideas of what to write (played a little Star Trek Online too) and Krystie and I *FINALLY* watched Inception after everyone told us we'd love it for several months.

We didn't, we finished watching it, we turned to each other and went 'Did you understand that at all?' at the exact same time. And unfortunately now all those ideas I had they're being replaced with 'ok, what was going on in this movie?'

I hate my brain at times....

You know, over the last few weeks I've been thinking on something. As a non-artist what can I tell someone who's art I favorite anything constructive other than 'I like it!' or the reasons why I like it? It makes me feel kind'a shallow. I can't really give any constructive criticism because I don't understand what it takes to make the art. I only understand to me it looks good, not the hours it takes the training or the practice or technique. Part of me wonders if that makes me shallow and I do wish I could do more than I do whenever I post a comment.

 zannah has helped so much over the last couple days. I freely admit my knowledge about Star Wars is shaky at its best. She's helped me not only with her character but with the universe as well.

I can thank  Artaith-21,  wielder and  zannah for this I guess. I've always considered myself at the least a casual Star Wars fan, the original trilogy are my favorite movies. Well, thanks to their drawings, I've got old characters coming to life it seems *points to Star Wars Starfighters* I just wish I could write faster, I *know* where I want to go, its just getting there. Granted I do have to buck current convention I guess by going to the Rebellion Era, not Republic....

My first experience when I was in middle school of any sort of 'fan writing' was Star Trek during what some people call the 'Lost Era' between the last of the Original Series Movies and TNG. I'd been a fan since I first saw the Original Series Lets just say it wasn't exactly all that good. Also as I grew older I tended to find a lot I disagreed with in Rodenbarrry's ideas. While I was still a big fan (yeah, i know, geek ahoy) I wanted to change things, so, in college I went back and actually came up with my own crew again. I let it sit for a while, then when I was involved with a star trek/star wars furry website I re-tooled the crew, which had been that of Enterprise-D's sister ship and class prototype USS Galaxy and wrote a few stories with them.

The silly thing is instead of using 'brand new' characters the crew was actually some I've had for a while, mainly Michael and Mika and others from the 'Terran Wars.' Of late I've been thinking about going back and maybe posting some of what I have. Unfortunately several of the stories when TFC disappeared also disappeared.

Seems kind'a like a rambling journal but sometimes just telling others my ideas helps me. Even if they never reply....

I think I might at the least post a crew-roster somewhere, for the senior staff at least...

Sometimes its frustrating writing. I've got a ton of old stuff, a lot of it never finished admitedly, the Terran Wars series and a few others but I hardly ever post anything, I just tend to lurk. Part of that I think is because I haven't figured out a good way of posting it in FA, since most of my writing is done in Word and its sometimes a hassle to try to convert it into something that will show up here.

Dosen't help that I've had trouble actually writing the last few weeks but things could be worse...