Hey you guys may remember my wolf toon i recently created based on a plushie:

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/42075484/

I realize a MAJOR mistake in generating the character behind the plush, a preexisting character idea allready was a much perfect fit.

SO would anyone like to buy the old drawing of Deiter? Ill make u a meager offer for it. The character is not in use anymore. so would anyone else want the drawing? I can send u the physical copy

I thought that it is abotu time to update everyone on this. Ive been living with it for a few weeks now.

A few weeks ago my mother was diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. It is a very rare brain degenerative disorder that is 100% fatal with nearly all deaths occuring within one year of diagnosis.

In under 2 weeks my mother has gone from being very forgetful and unsure of her surroundings to being in bed sleeping almost all day and unable to care for herself or feed herself. The disease happens extremely fast.

Last weekend i visited her taking time off work. It was a very hard trip filled with anxiety, fnancial troubles, and huge huge fights with my father, I also knew that after I left, that would be the last time i would speak to her in person alive.

My goodbyes felt incomplete.. I didnt even know what to say to her about out lives except to thank her long ago for making a small kings robe for my little plush tiger as a teen... even though she was really resistant about the idea of me having stuffed animals at age 14.


This event combined with having a new job that is 60 hours a week has made it hard for me to produce any art. and also made my last big project miss its deadline by 4 months.

I dont know what the future will hold for me but im trying to determine what of value i will have in it and what will happen to me as I now cross the middle of my life and prepare for the last half of it.

a little thing ild like to add on something.

Ive lately noticed theres been a few people whom ive never spoken to reacting in a hostile manner to my work here or on other sites.

Not unusual, but ive noticed this time that said people have a habit of then making their angry comment then immediately blocking so they hear no reply.

Ive sat though more than a decade of slings and arrows from various outraged or trolling internet users. None of it is changing my interactions. So, are you guys now too fragile to defend your own takes?

Well then its a good thing there is a comment delete option i can exercise.

So, im sure everyone knows about the truth comign out about Manson aggressively abusing his girlfriend back though 2007 to 2010. It came as a shock rto me but honsetly, its not too surprising looking at some of his media. I always felt that soem of the stuff Manson did back in the early 90s would not be good to do anymore these days.


Ive run into a bit of a personal conflict. The guy was a very important part of my youth experience and also my attempts to escape the religious indoctrination i had when i was younger. Regardless of his own intentions with his art, Manson came to represent much more for his fanbase namely the big strikeback against fundamentalist values and prudish american culture, and he was supposed to symbolize a sexual freedom that resonated with the youth with alternative sexualities. though he was straight his acts of playing up gender bending was incredibly rare back in the 90's. Pretty much every rocker back in those days stuck very strict to the heterosexual role dynamics. As a gay person his flipping of gender was special for me, because unlike other images of quees seuality that portrayed a dancing disco loving gaybar where everyone loved campy musicals. Manson offered up an image of a very dark and dangerous kind of queer sexuality that clicked so much better to socially unfit youth at the time. We needed a dark queer icon that was nto jsut the camp flippant squealing sissy of 'typical' gay media, but one that was powerful, dramatic, dark and brought forth our internal malaise at life as it was. Manson offered up something like that, even if he wasnt gay he himself said he made room for queer fans in his community.

So now the question comes to be.... what to do now that this has happened. My investment with manson was a bit more than just being a fan of his much. I actually incorporated his ethos into a number of my drawings, drawings i love dearly. I feel a great pain about the idea of that i might have to remove those images. This is especially so considering i made a Mansonesque character.... Mariel Malkarris the ferret. Mariel was a very special charater of mine. I didnt see him as an exact copy of Manson and Mansons identity, but there is no doubt Mariel's identity in his fiction is based off that same gnederbending threatening dark rockstar.
My problem is now is this character unacceptable to use anymore? Would i be doing a disservice to my friends or fans who have endured abuse by using him? I would like to say that Mariel is Manson only in imagery, I do not see him as Manson himself at all. But still this is a concern. Id like to hear input from people who have had to deal with abuse and assault in the past. I myself have dealt with abuse in a relationship before... though not as extreme as some of the things people talk about.

I knwo my art can have a lot of dark themes at times, but I do stress this stuff is fantasy and that is different from what happens in reality.

well trump is gone finally. and democrats have total control of the govt finally thanks to the fact we won fare and square. Niot the leftist utopia i was hoping for but some progress is being made.

I will says this if fucking sick to shit of conspiracy theories...
my right wing family live off a steady diet of them and its terrifying. My brother is going the worst way. After Trumps loss hes proclaiming that america is totally dead, all elections are now illegitimate. Most of all... and im not doing hyperbole here... Hes now saying he wasnt to separate entirely from society and live in a car because he thinks america is dead and AGAIN no hyperbole here... he straight up said he would like to see the Congress building bur and all of the lawmakers in it burn alive. those were his exact words.

Thanks rush limbaugh and all the other mgtow people he listens to online... now my brother is going on the path of a separatist extremist who hoards all his money in gold coins stashed around his room (TOTALLY NOT FUCKING MAKING THIS UP) and is stockpiling guns for what he says is the day "the police will come for him", and had determined that women hate him and never will have sex with him.

So fuck you guys. I may never get my family back but someday you will all be dust and the world will more on to a better reality for everyone in it and all this shit insanity will i pray be gone forever.

All you nasty nasty people who love diapers and wont stop begging me to draw more of your embarrassing depraved kink.... >8C


Maybe watch my page for a new upload in a few days... :0

Some of my old friends and close friends have recently stopped all communication with me. None of them ever really announced it or gave any reason and there had not been any change in our interactions prior to this. Just a prolonged and unexpected silence. These 3 people mean a lot to me and ive shared a lot of my intimate life with. And as the time goes on I'm just left hand wringing and wondering why, and feeling more alone.

Lately i had a series of bad panic attacks that had sent me into a bad state for over 2 weeks. The longest one of these episodes has last. In fact it was similar to the first incident a year and a half ago that began my anxiety disorder problems.

I recently have come a bit out of that crash and am getting back to doing similar things that ive always done. But these latest developments plus also how shitty our country has become lately are not helping the issue. I also have been instructed to return to work, regardless of the fact that they are not doing social distancing at my job and some employees are extremely dismissive about following the mask requirement. So that is going to be a battle ill have to face soon.

But as of now im feeling mostly about the disappearance of my friends and wondering how i will fill the empty spaces in my life if they happened to never come back. I have a few other friends and i love them a lot for all they do for me, though a lot of that also comes with a distance on intimate subjects that i have my own unique tastes and desires for. And i appreciate i can sometimes share little bits of that with others, though typically they dont reciprocate it but patiently let me discuss it a bit. Losing people who do actually understand those things is isolating.

Finally ive also encountered a problem with my special exclusive accounts on Google a number of you have visited and I may have to close them... Turns out Google doesnt like having furry erotica on their accounts even if they can only be visited by people i give permission to as they are now blocking some of my art from being viewable by anyone. Maybe that explains why one of the artist i liked to follow, MaoOtter, suddenly deleted their private Google gallery.

Anyways. Ive been slow to complete a lot of my works lately due to these spaces ive been in. So im sorry about that. Eventually something will come. Im still though having trouble being comfortable about sharing some of my art just anywhere though and need to figure out what to do. I promise though..... a lot of that stuff is just not easily defined by any of the standard genres in furry erotica and just cant really be classified by selecting a term like 'paws', 'inflation', or 'diapers' from a drop down menu.

Just everyone who may have spotted the previous one, my bunny video got rebooted due to stupid doo doo poopy with youtube that doesnt like rotating horizontal videos apparently XO

But now thats fixed and you can watch it all in its vertical glory! The format apparently everyone hates lol.
But i had to make it that if you all wanted to see really how big n tall the bunnies were!

man it is exhausting truying to get work done in a timely matter. if all goes well though i should be able to post the new pic today later this afternoon...

I wish i could get better at completing drawings

So i think that soon you will see some Tom and Jerry stuff :o

Im sure people know i tend to not be into housecat furs and such. still is that way, But ive been looking at the characters from Tom and Jerry. Theres a lot of good episodes of that show. I noticed those felines are a lot like my one fav toon feline Sylvester.... they both have the same weird mustelid look and build to them. the half cat half otter thing. theres more to them that just normal cat chars. they also have a wild set of expressions that are very fun like a good toon!

So someday soon keep your eyes out for Tom and Jerry stuff here :P probably in a week or two

I have some advice i think would be good for white people that want to support the black community in this brutal era right now.

Go donate money here:
https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/

The Minnesota Freedom Fund's job is to help poor people post bail in the Minneapolis and St. Paul area. Going to jail now under these virus conditions can literally kill you. And of course this is what the cops are doing with the Black Lives Matter and other non related people they arrested at the protests. Another thing ive heard about is provinging ligistical suypport to make protests happen, or medical in case there is a LOT of police confrontation. THis is the place where white people can help African Americans.

THe actual act of seeing white people calling 'death to pigs' or joining in the riots has we worried. I know a number of the leftist people whom I listen too have been 100% on board with whites participating in really dramaitc shit like flipping cop cars or burning buildings. The thing I have to say in consideration of this.... please hear me out..

If we have a group of white kids coming into a black neighborhood full of tension with the cops and then saying "fuck the police! we want a war with the cops!" then i can easily imagine the cops swiftly beating them down and then saying "thanks asshole! now everyone will support us when we tear the fuck up this neighborhood!" Everyone needs to remember this war that is going on is being carried out in minority neighborhoods and that is where it will be fought. If we call for a war with the cops, that is where it will go down and that is who it will affect the most. As shitty as things are... I know there are a number of black people who do not want some final showdown with the cops and even the military in their towns. It is not our job to poke at the evil empire and then bring its wrath down upon them.

The best thing you can do with youre money and privilege is then to financially help black people and communities and let them lead their way. Direct supportive action.

Im still having a lot of moral concerns about this whole thing and trying to figure it out for myself too. I still stand by my idea in non-violence against people... maybe not property but definitley no violence against people. This is not some hippy dream. Ive lived with people who totally are anti-socialists all my life. Ive seen this in so many other places in the world. If you kill someone, their supporters and friends will want revenge, they will want you dead too. I do believe that the more brutal deaths we cause directly, the mosre they will respond and kill in kind. Im aware there is alleady a daily holocaust at the hands of cops... but you absolutely cannot deny.. this could get much worse. And I hope we can make a revolution happen of some sort without getting to that much worse place. I dont think we would win that anyways right now.

Been browsing for drawings of Sylvester lately.

I know im going to sound liek an ass saying this but man hardly anyone can seem to draw this character right. Also there is a lack of nice ideas with him too.

THough Im busy with a lot of stuff, Im going to try and remedy this. show u guys how to draw the dopey luckless OTTER/cat Sylvester. I want people to remember my skillz >:|

Sadly no time frame on this atm but something is on the way.

so everyone may know that my Timon Berkowitz page on DA has been focusing in on the character Timon lately exclusively. and for the most part thats where im going to focus it now.

But i have a new DA page for not fully asdult but kind of kinky art of other characters who are not Timon and friends. If u guys want to check that out:
https://www.deviantart.com/gay-furry-art

Most thats currnetly on here you can find here on FA but there will be exclusive things eventually down the line especially if people are interested in it.

soooo....

how does anyone feel about the idea of me sharing more than just art. but naughty videos too? :o
I dont think ive seen a furry artist who also does yiffy videos.
You guys know the things i like and plushies too. Does anyone have any thoughts?

Ok seriously, big rant here! I just submitted some pics of otter characters and I decided to check out and see what other pics of otters there are.

And man this always gets me..: NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO DRAW OTTERS!

Seriously so many of what i see miss the most clearly obvious things that make otters what they are. One big note ive seen in artists who do have decent drawin skill is that their otters just look like dog characters with perked up big ears and long pointy snouts that have been given a big nose. and large head profiles too! It looks like artists who have spent years applying their craft to making badge commissions and doing mostly canine chars and then they just for the most part are on autopilot when they draw an otter.

The other look I notice is this weird looking big jaw version. The artists generally do get right that otters have flatter head profiles, but then they draw them with these large cheese wedge blocky jawlines that seem to be glued or pasted onto the lower half of their pinhead profile. It sort of resembles a marvel cartoon movie streamlined character design like you would see in the old Batman animated series show. The ears tend to be drawn incredibly close to the eyes, looking very odd. This is pretty common in gay otter art. The best way i can describe it is a pinhead with a giant block jaw stuck onto it that does not really flow together with the rest of the head and is typified by a giant mouth as well. Most often the chars are also given short swept up anime punky guys hair. The easiest way to find this one... look for the giant lower jaw and equally sized chin.

Finally another complaint..... Ive seen too many otters combined with sea mammals and sharks, otters with fins are seriously not cute i feel, they look alien and not sexy!

im going to supply 3 artist whose otters i have seen that I think totally understand how to draw an otter head! (though this is really hard to find!) everyone could leasrn from these artists... especially otter fans. People should enjoy art of otters that actually emphasize what makes otters so much fun in their facial appearance!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/22644670/ this artist has a lot of pretty good details! one or two may be off but for the most part they are very skilled at making a good otter face!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/22310114/ ok this artists here is not perfect, but they are totally in the right path and know where all the parts go on an otter face! that one mouth is a little too long in the first pic

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/9865578/ this artist really got down the snout and frontal face view right!


---

Anyways... im thinking im going to have to make my own example page to give the idea of what makes otters the best!

Hey I just wanted to let all my watchers know I reedited my latest submission with Tech E Coyote to try and correct a few perspective mistakes I made. You might want to update any version you downloaded please. :)

Hey everyone.
IDK if im overreacting but I just got back from a trip to an area in my state where covid-19 is trying to show up. This whole thing has got my anxiety going and im trying to keep myself under control. Im home now and im trying to monitor my condition and keep at home. Considering what to do about work...

Anyways. outside of my feelings, Id like to message to everyone. We may be facing a world crisis we have not had in hundreds of years. We as a human race need to start realizing that we are facing some of the end results for the human race living beyond its means and start thinking about us living relying upon this world we are on. and that we need to take care of people as well as our earth. And control our consumption and our population growth.

Right now I guess we all have to start thinking less of courselves. Realize a pandemic will affect everyone, And no matter how rural of far away you are, the longer this goes on the more the whole system will be infected and you will be touched too. Right now the best thing I feel is to listen to the WHO, if you may be sick or could get sick, separate yourself and think not just of your well being, but also any other people you could possibly infect. By doing so you are going to help others and the human race so that we can someday in the future overcome this and learn from this disaster. Have a society that takes care of its people, a world for the people and not the rich. One that takes cares of this world and lives sensibly within its means. So that something like this can be controlled. So that we dont live in a world where every human interaction is commercialized. Right now as the world changes, we have to hold on together and think less of ourselves and more of the survival of us all and our world.

I may be freaking out over this but just in case.

As for my commissions, im getting them done right now and I should have them finished shortly! Everyone stay in touch and take care!

Sorry i have not been active lately again. Ive had another loss of home wifi though i intend to fix that. Also im having some trouble staying focused and getting my many pics out. Im going to try and make an effort to get more things done

https://www.thewrap.com/exclusive-h.....t-at-fox-news/

"Fox News Host Todd Starnes Out After Suggesting Democrats Worship Pagan God Moloch"


I got something to say about that:

YES we socialists worship creepy man/animal gods in deep dark forests at night where we stomp on the crucifix, cast magick spells, drink a lot of wine, take off all our clothes, and are led in sex ritual by a dominatrix lady who wants us to worship her genitals..... Its a lot of fun!

Just so people may know. Recently DA suspended my account and deleted a large quantity of my pictures. The main reason was not for erotic or porno content, but just some of the more lighter soiling pictures. i guess they are getting to the point where any of that kind of content is considered unacceptable no matter what the level of modesty or obscenity. Its just my nature to operate on DA. I have done full on pornographic content, but it usually doesnt get the kind of reactions I prefer, FA's big thing is always just favs and no comments.... Also FA is kind of like a hidden site. None of my art can be find by anyone except those who are looking for porn. And when most of my art is softcore with kinks, im kind of too passive for FA but too extreme for DA. So I guess thats just the way it is.

Im not daunted though. wether being bullied by anti-furry trollers or by anti-erotic moderators, I just continue as I may. I think my pictures contain a little more than just kinks and risque. i always try and put a little bit of story and character expression to my pictures and under it is about characters coming to terms with their kinks and getting support from their friends and partners. And I hope that is something else that people take away from some of my pictures.

Anyways to those who have commissions with me on DA I still will be working, if you do see this. And the person who has bought stuff from me, its on the way right now and I promise ill try and get back in and reconnect with you.

Anyways. thank you once again to my watchers. Ill also update someday soon about my medical state too.

Its been a while but its about time I should inform everyone what has been happening to me.

I have seen all the medical practitioners that were open to me. All the procedures done. What they found was that there is a cyst in my brain that is about 1 by 2 inches wide. Its in an area of the cerebellum that is often used for balance and motor functions. However, the neurologist was 100% sure that because i did pretty well on my balance exams, then the vertigo im having has nothing to do with the brain cyst and that its harmless. Instead they were certian my condition is a psychological one, that my vertigo is in fact a delusion they think is a result from depression.

Honestly I have never been really depressed of had anxiety disorders in my life.... but after a few hospital scares, ive come to the conclusion that in fact a lot of my symptoms had been a result of having a panic attack over worrying over my health and being sick. I dont even feel like the same person anymore, its much harder to feel happy anymore. I hate this, I hate that feeling and so since then ive been actively trying to surpress all any future anxiety attacks. So far it has been working as i have been able to stop numerous ones. I hate the idea of having an anxiety disorder over this, and I am trying to fight it without having to result to the dangers and prolonged use of antidepressants.

Right now my condition has settled into 3 distinct symptoms.... constant imbalance feeling, headhaches that travel around my brain and sinuses, and strong tinnitus (a constant buzzing) in the ears. This is what I am dealing with now.

The doctors think now since I passed the vertigo tests well that this condition needs psychological treatment. I in fact do believe that i need to see a therapist, Im willing to accept that a lot of things have changed in me and I may be dealing with an snxiety disorder. However, I have had some really good days last weekent where I was feeling very happy. ANd I woul report that I still had the symptoms that day even through I totally ignored them and had a great weekend. So I willing to give a shot at trying to treat this as a mood disorder problem. But I do still feel that some of these symptoms are in fact real.

So for nw Im carrying on and just trying to take each day one at a time. Im still worried about if I will be able to handle a atandard labor job again and would i be able to handle it. And im still very much in need of commissions to help me get by. I am totally open right now BTW.

. Thank you all for sticking by with me through all this. You guys are the greatests

Just to let everyone know, I dont post prices on commissions, heres what you need to know:

Since I handdraw everything no two commissions are the same to me, So if youre interested in getting one, send me a note describing what youre interested in. The bottom tends to start at 25$. But I need to know what you want! send me a note and we can get a commission started!

Just to let people out there know it. I have no job due to my illness and need help.

OK so here is the story so far regarding my illness.

So far the doctors have not found a cause for it. They are looking at the possibility of a vestibular disorder or a neurological disorder.

As of now my symptoms have become a constant neverending high pitched buzzing in the back of my head behind my ears combined with intense vertigo, regular headaches, and getting extreme exhaustion from any physical task pretty quickly. I have trouble moving about but I can still walk. I do not have a job anymore. This has been going on for over 3 weeks with no end in sight and no change in situation.

Doctors still need to make more tests, it looks like I am in this for the long haul and that this whole episode could be a permanent condition now... I dont know. I just have to wait for more testing to be performed and the doctors are going to make me wait a long time for those to get done. I imagine I may have to do a lot of referrals.

I will keep everyone updated. I am extremely greatful for those people who are sticking by me and are helping me out. It means the world to me.

So the conditions seem to evolve each day, not sure what im going to get. Today the vertigo was super heavy and headaches too. the total body exhaustion not so much thank god.

To my commissioners. I started work again.... slowly. but I think it may be possible I can get the works done afterall if you all will bear with me. I am working on both 2 commission at the same time.

Will keep everyone updated.