OK everyone, trying to write this now.

the last 2 weeks ive been having spells of dizziness and vertigo with exhaustion. they would come in waves over the day with periods of recovery.

About 5 days ago, at work they became incredibly bad and i could not do anything. I was rushed to the hospital where they went over me with numerous tests. At the time, they did not find anything as of yet so they sent me to another appointment yesterday. In between that time i had another very severe attack that left me with a lot of pain in my chest, headaches, panic, inability to speak well, and an outright brutal exhaustion.

The doctors visit yesterday i had another attack, the periods of symptoms between the attacks have gotten more severe and i can no longer work anymore at my job and earn money and have trouble doing daily simple tasks. The doctors again have not found much but they want to give a CT scan to my head an face in on April 10. If they cant find anything there, they are going to look into the idea that this is an innner ear disorder. A lot of the symptoms I have pointed to Meniere's disease, and they are considering looking at that.

For the last day ive been just bedridden. and lying down still brings about vertigo and very chaotic dreamlike thought patterns. I feel as through I am trying to move my whole consiousness and body through a thick sludge at all times. Ive also got nausea and diahreeea. I have chills and my hands and body parts tremble all the time. Food intake has been less than ususal. i have trouble standing up to cook food but ive been trying to eat as I know i need it. This condition had disrupted my life as it, I cant work anymore and most of my daily hobbies are just not being invested in. Not sure what is going to happen in the future. I want to say I fucking hate this.

Those 2 people who have commissions out for me. I no longer at this time have any clear timeline for when they can be done. I might try and continue work on them in the next day or so and see if that is still possible. But I will throw this out... if you are considering wanting a refund for your commissions, send me a note and I will look into getting that for you. Im horribly sorry for this.

Please everyone, I ask you guys look at my art often and hopefully look for bits of my soul hidden in the work. So far in my life it is the work of all my existence though I did want to do more. But I want it to sonehow bring happiness to you guys, inspire you, and give you confidence to express yourself and be creative and thrilled with life. That is what means the most to me. And in cause u guys did not know I also have a gallery at Deviant Art:

https://www.deviantart.com/timon-berkowitz

I will update as I can. Goodbye for now.

So I want to say that my upcoming haiatus wont be as time consuming as I thought. I actually will likely have an abundance of time with nothing to do due to a lack of transportation and no job.

For those of you with commissions.. I can be certain that there will be a notable ammount of progress the first week of April. :)

Thanks for hanging in there.

A big trip is coming up for me very soon that will last till maybe 7 or so days into April. So during this period I will not be working on any art. To those whom i have commissions with... your works will not be forgotten. I will get back on them when i come back in april. Thank you guys so much for being patient with me. I have never once failed to finish a commish and I will complete your works. It just always takes me time to do them. thank you guys and Ill keep you updated.

OK so here is an update over what im doing.

I noticed lately that over the last year ive built up a huge collection of incomplete drawings, often of a very grand magnitude. Aside from time, the big issue is where and how I want to submit this work. DA was a great resource for my less than pornographic content, but DA has done a lot of major restricting on my account... such as deleting a lot of my art, and then also scrubbing me from DA search results. (try searching my DA username in their search engine).

Im also wanting to make a new dedicated gallery for more semi erotic fanart that will concentrate on a specific subject with gay toon males. But should i do this? where do I do this? and how will it impact the usage of my original DA page in the future?

Im still working on all this.

Someone apparently has been attacking my DA gallery as of lately by reporting a huge number of my works of art. Ive had more removals in the past month than ive had in one year.

I work on DA because as a furry fetisher, I dont want to be regulated to one hidden away un-searchable cabal on the internet that cannot be found except by other sexlife furries looking for it. I expect that if all of the furry community were to exist on just sites like FA, this world would not spread to others and would more than likely be a lot more vulnerable to attacks, isolation, and eventual decline. There has been a large growth of a scene where people are taking interest in furriness but abhor and try to exclude from the community anyone who lives it as a sexual lifestyle.. which was one of the original aspects of furriness.

I dont have plans to leave DA, even if DA were to happen to close my account. I dont want to have the furry lifestyle hidden away and un-discoverable in the shadows where no one but a handful of people excluded from society will be able to see all my life's effort.

So we shall see what happens.

3 spearate domestic terrorist attacks occurred last week all carried out by far right white extremists. The synagogue massacre, the anti-black massacre in Kentucky, and finally that dumbshit bomb attack by that loser Trump fan going after media icons. It was a series of tragedies, but the worst is that some people will refuse to care about it or deny that it even is a sign of a problem that must be stopped, and these murders WILL happen again.

Ive had my own encounters with anti-gay threats of violence in real life before. One thing I want everyone to know is that even if they want to scare us with weapons and the treat of violence, im not going to stop being a socialist and im definitely not going to go in the closet about being a gay furry. And im still going to campaign against what I dislike.

I have some big finance things coming up with a trip that i need to make. My best friend is moving far away for good and i want to help finance the trip and keep my other needs taken care of.

Im way open to commissions. Anyone please contact me id love to make something for you. I need the help.

thank you guys

A bunch of zealous college youth in North Carolina just tore down a confederate statue built in 1915 on their campus at UNC.

As a former resident of north carolina id like to say that the romoval of the statue was applauded by me. They say that the statue was history that honors the war dead, that removing it was denying history. But keep in mind, the statue was erected 50 years after the civil war and the dedication speech of the statue inculded a call to purify the south to a white ethnostate and praised civil was veterans who were going out and terrorizing former slaves around the state.

You say that this is an act of denying history. What history is being denied? There are plenty of historical writtings that speak of the horrors of slavery and the civil war. thats not being erased by the statue removal. Again what history is being denied? What is being erased is a protrayal of a heroic and honorable confederacy that fought on the side of right, ignoring or condemning humanist values against slavery and racism.

If you dont believe in racism, then you should accept that the confederacy fought to keep slaves as part of their entire economic system. The states rights they were protecting was their right to own slaves. To make your heritage stronger, like any ones own personal character, you must accept the wrongdoings you have done and endeavor to be better than that. For a long time this was not the case these monuments and flags were used by people who saw no wrong in any of their past actions as a culture. When you say heritage not hate, you yourself are actually are participating in a re-envision of history that covers up what looks bad and portrays only what seems honorable and just. You have to find a different way to identify yourself as a southerner than the symbols of the confederacy. It would be wrong to cover up the fact they terrorized black people and enslaved them.

New pics going up later today on the 4th. So everyone be sure to check back for it. Happy holidays! ;P stay away from fireworks and be safe!

My youth living in the deep south was spent being told very regularity that people who were gay or guys who were effeminite were terrible, weak, and most of all against 'wholesome American values'. I used to see lots of newspaper articles saying that the USA must drive out the homosexual deviants being 'celebrated' by Hollywood and public schools and return back to christian values. They made it clear that what America is about is christian values and traditional midwest down home society.

It should be no small wonder to them why I nowadays refuse to be patriotic and outright reject conservative values and the republican party who all stand upon this idea of the god fearing wholesome America. If you want to know why im so much against conservatives, just look at how they have treated gay rights issues and their religious heroes and leaders.

Why would you expect me to do anything else?

So now in between all the shit ive had to do... Ive managed to get the peliminary sketchwork of my idea of doing Mossflower vermins in all their glory.

I will have to say that so far this one sketch has been one of the most amazing things I have ever drawn. Though as I flesh it out, I realize I have a major daunting task as my picture is so good that it taxes me well beyond my current skill. I really have no idea how Im going to bring color to this pic to give it life. Its now I wish I could do oil painting like old illustrators.

More to come I may submit the preliminary sketch

Anyone know these books?

As a teen I discovered in middle school the fantasy books of Brian Jacques and his Redwall universe. They were the first fantasy novels i read. For the first time I saw anthropomorphic characters in more serious and epic situations. This was before I had discovered furriness but allready had a fetish for animal characters as well as an emotional obsession. I read many of the books. Though I was troubled by the fact that the races were ascribed a defining moral trait. All members of any given species all acted on the same moral compass. And I was really bothered as a kid that foxes were always all evil while creatures I didnt relate to like moles, hedgehogs, and mice were always good. Nonetheless its a series that meant something to me back then,


Well come some 18 years later I got the old books out and decided to rediscover them.

And holy shit those moral racial dilemas I saw back then are now magnified tenfold! Particularly in the fact that the line of good/vs/evil is so strict as to make the characters completely empty of anything really like a soul! Its applaling!

Well Im determined to get through the books. But Ive been inspired to do some justice about this! Ive taken up creating more fanart based upon the Redwall universe. And also this time ive made a unique decision and have opted not to commandeer most of the series allready establish characters like I normally do with my fanart. Instead Im creating original creations of my own to unleash upon the world of Redwall and create total havoc!

Also I noticed a lot of fanart of this series (ESPECIALLY the erotic art) is based solely upon the animated cartoon version of the Redwall series. This will NOT be my choice of style.
Instead im going to take a bigger challenge and opt to mirror more like the book cover art and make the characters very realistic animals in design!

I want to bring the 'vermin' races, the antagonist into the limelight. I want to take away the friendly strict moral code that has turned them into completely souless foils. Give also the ability for races to guide themselves to their own moral choices than be damned to be good or evil. However my vermins will NOT be some kind of apologetic remorseful noble creatures who spend their life stories proving to the rest of the 'good' animals how they are different and not like the rest of their kind. No no no! I've been seduced by the wicked frivolity of the vermins and I want to celebreate them on their own terms! Horray for the baddies! Its their time to shine! Mossflower will be ruled by pine martens and rats and ferrets! No more will they stand the omnipotent heroic story construct! they will throw off their oppression and take control of the story! Theyve helped bring out the wild natural animal and the predator in me and I do hope that you guys will get quite a show out of this new direction in my art.

All hail the Vermin of Mossflower!!! XD

Anyone interested in a commission?

Im in a state, im hoping to get 50$ us anyone interested? Id appreciate it.

I found a way to both donate to gay advocacy groups, be a horny furry, and say fuck off to conservatives at the same time!

https://www.amazon.com/Day-Life-Mar.....s=marlon+bundo

Marlon Bundo: "Hey did you ever have sex with bunny James Dean?? I dont think so! I did!" :P

This cute book was something John Oliver and his crew came up with in response to mike pence's asinine kids book about his family's rabbit, but also about himself as the VIP (tell me that doesnt feel like social propaganda).

Whereas for Oliver's book they recast the rabbit Marlon Bundo not as a live rabbit living at the white house but an adorable toony bunny with a big smile and matching giant bowtie and with the perchance for loving other boy bunnies!

Top it all off the proceeds from the book sale will go to LGBT advocacy charities. The first batch of them all sold out in an instant. But amazon is printing more. Consider ordering one :o

In my belief. the motivations of the NRA currently is to create situations that maximize gun sales.

To do this they ensure through legislation the idea that just anyone at any time can purchase a gun. They have stood against laws that would have made it more difficult for those with mental health issues to own a gun. The other thing they do is help to work their members into a regular panic that criminals are rampant and everywhere and the govt are after them to take their weapons.

In my state they helped get behind a law that removed the age limit to the use of a gun. The idea was that the limit of 11 years old was not fair to kids even younger who wanted to go hunting with their parents. Conversely, there has been incidents of 'well trained' youths who had been trained in gun safety who then suddenly shot another child out of anger.

The NRA also actively creates a hyper aggressive divisiveness among its members by telling them that those who ask for sensible gun control are extreme radicals that in the end want to get the ATF to storm the home of gun owners and take all their weapons. Even moreso, their videos portray this idea that blacks, gays, womens rights supporters are on the opposite side of gun lovers and that they are creating riots in the streets over not just guns but social justice and apparently free speech. They in fact are the ones who have created a toxic environment by playing on the fears and prejudices of their members.

All this done to capitalize on gun sales and support a whole industry.

I do not support the NRA at all and I constantly will vote against their fav leaders when I can. I will also speak out to anyone I can whenever appropriate to tell them that the NRA is destructive to cohesion and safety in our society so long as they interfere in our politics and our social fabric to create hyper divisiveness and maximize gun sales.

I also have another gallery for my toon fan art, its not straight up adult art but there is lots of fetish and erotic stuff there too. :Y

https://timon-berkowitz.deviantart.com/

soooooo....

I noticed lately there are a lotta new pics with Sylvester up out there and there are a lot of artists getting attention for drawing him.

But im also kinda like >:/ cause I see that a lot of those pics are kinda lacking in the elements I think make that big cat/otter so cute. I think they are missing out on essential character details. (and also of course I kinda want to add a few little details that I find kinky). So expect maybe a few Sylvester drawings posted someday soon :P

So today marks a big change in my artistic output that has been a longtime coming.

Now jobless in my new situation I am reorganizing my life and my priorities are changing. For one thing the plush collecting I did in the past has now come to a full stop. Cant afford it. But eh.. this new lixing space I am now beyond the limit of as much as I can have so there will be no new major plush acquisitions anymore for me.

The second thing is I still am more than happy to do commissions and need them more than ever... but as for my own personal output of art Im kind of just not feeling as much interest in that right now. I do love it but my sex drive is going down a bit. And I am trying to do different things with my life ATM.

The big thing by far now is that I have over the past months acquired with some of my long built up savings and extremely expensive sewing machine... and now I want to put my work into that. So now I will begin the process of moving my furry experience into the world of fursuit making. That is my next goal.

Oneday I hope that I will be able to say that I have been a big plush collector / lover, draw lotsa kinky furry art and toon fan art, AND make and design fursuits. I want to be the consummate furry. I want to be able to do and be it all LOL.

===

So anyways... yeah sorry there will be not as much art as before, but commissions are always wide open and do wish me luck on my new venture into fursuits! Maybe someday you might see a super cute Timon suit or some other fun critters uploaded to this page and Ill even be taking commissions for suits too :)

https://www.yahoo.com/news/school-s.....100005444.html

I wish I had a better way of sharing this article than Yahoo News. But its a very telling read to all those out there who have come to just ignore these terrible events. This does not occur in other countries except ours. And it has to do completely with the celebration of American ego and machismo and the promotion of self isolationism, oppression, and the lack of compassion.

To those who get angry at the victims for campaigning against gun violence... who accuse them of "grandstanding, enjoying the publicity" you people are revolting in your selfishness. Your lack of compassion puts you on the level of the violent attackers in my opinion because of how selfishly you view reality.

Australia had a mass shooting avent decades ago where the nation responded with strict gun control measures. Today there are no mass shootings like that, gun violence is noting near our death toll, and the nation has not been turned into a totalitarian dictatorship.

The greatest sin of our country I believe is what they see as the moral purity of self-protectionism. No one gives, no one sacrifices, no one makes a courageous effort for others whom they do not know. They only uphold the protection of themselves and their own. Fuck everyone else. I promise you, the shooters who did these things had the same mentality where only they were important.

In case anyone didnt know there was another school shooting last week. Ive noticed that most people I talk to in my daily life were not even aware! Too bad!

Well for all those of you hell bent on going on a shooting rampage here is a good piece of advice!

When its time to arm yourself for destruction, best to skip killing children at schools and concert goers or random people on the street No one really actually cares anymore about that, thats old news! Anyone could get a gun and do that! And mostly all it really does is keep the flag at half mast and make people shake their heads a little and move on. Body count really doesnt even matter anymore either (we did have the worst mass shooting in US history and can you remember the name of the guy who did it? Most people dont!) Its a sad day when even body count doesnt do anything to really cause suffering in the genreral public. Its just another "evil horrible cowardly act" that people move on from right away and get back to daily life! Whats a psychopath to do!

Well heres my special tip! When you decide its time everyone needs pay with their lives because youre God and they are not, make a REAL impact: GO FOR THE POLITICIANS!

Yes a bunch of dead kids at a school really doesnt make an impact anymore, but hey if u happen to say... kill the President, boy oh boy! will they ever remember you! And in fact any politician or major political donor would get such a huge police/ national guard count youll feel like youre the biggest celebrity in the world! Youll finally have that dream of everyone concentrating on YOU.
Now keep in mind, yeah, taking one of those guys down will be hella tough. Them having lots of protection in every possible way. But we know youre the smartest person in the world and everyones a fucking tool afterall. And also we know that its more easier than ever to get huge stockpiles of guns and especially body armour to protect from pesky good guys with guns. So that will help!

Anyways thats my special tip off for your next rampager out there! Skip the normies who no one cares about, go for the political leaders! That will make waves for sure!

---

(in all h0nesty... how did things get this bad where no one cares and nothing is done after every shooting rampage? Its tragic, do these lives even matter? when will we take it seriously to change our culture of egoism and revenge and our laws that allow so many weapons with so easy access?)

I wont like now everyone Ive got a huge concert expenditure coming up. I have to go see Marilyn Manson for the very first time with my partner and the cost for tickets is crazy high. Im a crazed fan who wants to meet his idol.

So since I dropped out of life to pursue my art I dont have any income anymore aside what I make in commissions. So right now I am major open for new commissions!

Am willing to try many things. All you have to is send me a message telling me what you are wanting and I can have a little consulation with you to work out what your commission will be. PS I can draw more than just messy art too! :)

Anyways, I dont have much time to make this money so please anyone can you help finance my dream come true of meeting my idol? just tell me what you want.

OK so far I dont have much time but I will give a few updates over everything going on with me now.

As for my eye injury:
The wound seems to show some very good signs of healing. No puss and the swelling has gone way down. The stitches are to be removed soon. It does appear its healing back in kind of an odd shape and I may have a permanent lazy eybrow. :( But I dont know just yet especially until the stitches are removed.

However my actual eye is still having issues. I can see out it but the floaters and black haze is pretty bad and obscures a lot. I have trouble reading tiny text now. I never realized ow much I relied on this eye and how weak my other left eye is. Again a doctor told me the floaters will dissolve after 4 or 5 months. Here is hoping on that. Still nothing about retinal detachment so thats good.

I still dont have insurance or a job so im just giving up on the idea of paying for all these bills. For now the fact I have a blood red eye covered in scabs and a patch im pretty sure will not land me any job anytime soon.


---

Im going to try and fufill my commission obligations now. I will always be in the need for money so Im open to most anything.

I will keep everyone in the know about this situation. Thank you for all your kindness

This has been a terrifying last few days for me... :<

The other night I suffered a severe injury to my right eye during a fireworks show my brother was putting on. An explosion from a big firecracker sent an object about half an inch into the flesh just between my eyeball and the bridge of my nose making a cut about just over an inch long. There was blood everywhere coming out of my face. I was rushed right away to a clinic which then transferred me to another hospital after they discovered a thick mass of sand and debris embedded in the wound in my eyesocket. An ophthalmologist was called in and he performed a wash and put in many stiches I dont know how many. My face was so swollen I could not open my eye.

It has been two days since then. I have gone back to the doctor twice as more complications have arose. I was able yesterday to have the damaged eye examined and got the good news that it appears that my eyeball was in tact and that I could see out of it. But then I discovered floaters and a clouding of my vision and my eyeball was swollen red. The doctors checked for retinal detachment and so far they are not able to find any and think the floaters in my eye are just blood. They want me to go see a retinal specialist anyways. and Ive been started on a massive doses of antibiotics in hopes the wound does not get infected. The doctors are telling me the floaters will eventually disperse over many months. But if I sustain a retinal tear or detachment, the floaters will be permanent :< Which has me the most worried as I can no longer see clearly out that eye... They also are talking about months down the line I could develop glaucoma. The future of my sight in my right eye is uncertain now and im afraid what this could mean to my life from everything from driving to drawing. They are certain that there will be scars from the injury to my face. But there is no telling how severe they will be as of right now

As of now I have my family caring for me. I dont have a job anymore or insurance so I do not know what this will do to my medical bills. Im hoping that when they see my situation they will forgive the bills.

As of right now I am limited in my vision. I wear an eyepatch now in public and the swelling and the floaters prevents me from using that eye. I cannot drive as I do not have depth perception now.

As of now I am just trying to get by and be normal and hope that somehow a miracle will happen and I will regain my vision fully or not suffer a face-distorting scar. The eye is still very black and bloody, but so far no major signs of infection.

Im sure there will be updates on this. Everyone please wish me luck....

Timon

I currnelty only have one in the works and it will soon be done. Im moving now to a new place.... no more job :<

Any new commissions majorly wanted!!

All caring and loving people are now lamenting the death of a fellow idealist slain in a white nazi terror attack in Charlottesville this month. I say its a terror attack, but our president refuses to do that even. He once stated that Heather Hayer was a 'beautiful person'. Tell me now you who support that man, do you really think that was genuine? That he would call someone who vigorously opposed him in protestes and said he was racist a 'beautiful person'?

Just the other day i read a quote made by a man who said that "all those who support removing confederate monuments should be shot!".

I knew this would happen. That with trumps arrival that racism was going to make a major comeback. And it has. He says he does not support nazism. But keep this in mind, Trumps dad was arrested in New York in the 1930's for participating in a KKK riot. And the deplorable jeff sessions stated in the 80's that he thought the kkk were great guys.

What are we to do in this situation?

I have friends in the ANTIFA. Anyone who i overhear say that millitant white supremacists are more tolerable than millitant anti-racist groups to me is instantly a supporter of racism, homophobia, etc. Ive been to rallies and heard the ANTIFA talk. And i would much prefer their company to moderate racists.


But after a very long time of soul searching, ive come to a serious conclusion.

As tempting as it is to want to stamp out bigots and these violent persecutors, i cannot take on an act of violence to do it. My whole life was about me trying to find love and fit in as a queer furry while the white christian conservative majority used aggression, insults, and threats of violence to force me to hide being gay or even just being a gentle male. Violence is how i know the populists and fascists by. That is their history. Hundreds of years of killing, torturing, attacking queer people just for existing. That is what they are.

Im sorry ANTIFA, but if you look at history, any acts of conflict society at lare ALWAYS blames minorities and us on the social left no matter who was at fault. That is the thing about populism. If we respond with violence of our own. That will give them all the public support they need to gain more power. We have to show everyone that we are the true face of equality and tolerance and idealism. So we must committ to not using violence to back our cause...

Someone pointed out to me, this is how german nazis came to power, through violent conflict with the left that spun popular oppinion tgeir way by playing on societies animosity to minorities. These new internet based racist alt right shits are using the same tactic to try and sway popular oppinion to despise minorities, queers, and immigrants and support stripping us of rights.

If we give them violence, society lead by this lying spinster president will go to the fascist alt right and beg for 'protection from the rioting lawless left'. It plays perfectly into trumps asertion that there is an organized violent extremist minority faction tearing up good wholesome america.

Resist yourselves and your desire for violent retribution. Remember we are the people of love and equality against hate and bigotry. We must find a way to teach people this and help them see our ways are just and moral. We always know this, violence begats more violence. They did violence to us now some of us want to return that violent act. And u know very well what will happen after one of us does that. We must be the ones to stop the violence and hate and say NO.

This is how we must win