I'm going to be at ANE in Boston this year. Could be fun to see people who are also going?

I have a bunch of ideas or at least themes for commissions I want to get but I have no idea who would be willing to do them. I’m nervous to ask people because they’re weird or something most people don’t like and I don’t want to make an artist uncomfortable or think less of me because I asked them for something weird. I thought about just posting publicly my ideas and asking artists to say if it were something they’d want to do but then I’d have to publicly put myself out there in a way I feel very uncomfortable with. I am worried people would be upset with what I want. I don’t know what to do about it.

[Edit:] Ah, I knew there was something I was forgetting too. If I put my ideas out there and someone said they’d be willing to do it, I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t like their style or quality. I don’t want to tell someone they just aren’t good enough for me.

I am fairly nervous and find some difficulty in individually posting thank yous to people who watch and fav images in my gallery. Thank you for your shared interest, it can be reassuring and brings me happiness to know that something that made me happy has made others happy.

Geez, have I really not posted anything here since July??

Gonna have to fix that, but that means an art explosion. Sorry in advance to your follower feed!

Those of you who follow me on Tumblr maybe have seen some of these before but I should really bring my FA back up to current. Heck, even Tumblr isn't current! I really need to upload more often. '-n-

 Illogical is having a bit of money issues and needs a bit of income to pay his bills. If you are following me and like macro, you've probably seen his work before. I urge you to at least check out his gallery and commission information.

I find his work to be very good and I hope most of you agree.

I kind of feel like I hit a brick wall and I haven't had the motivation to draw, so I am no longer going to consistently do daily draws.

In the meantime, I will take requests and even art trades, if you are comfortable with my work...

I'm not going to stop drawing altogether. I just need a break and maybe something fresh to draw.

Note that it may take a while if you ask for a request or art trade. I haven't really formalized it, so I'm just going to put things in order and try to do them. If I feel the queue is long and you ask for an art trade, I will notify you that I have a lot of other things. That does not mean I am not interested, it is only a warning as I want to do things in order.

I doubt I will get that much traffic anyways.

I kind of didn't want to write one of these kinds of journals as I feel many people see them as spam but I have trouble asking people directly. I am not sure on the etiquette around commissions or gifts. I've received a few and I've uploaded the ones where the artist told me it was fine to upload, but I don't know about the others. Is it generally expected that the receiver of such things will repost them on their own account or should I be asking on a case by case basis?

On a second note, I am writing this journal also because I kind of want to talk to people but I find it hard to talk to people. It would be easier for me if someone else contacted me. So I wanted to ask if anyone here actually cares to learn anything about me and if so, what? I am a fairly transparent person; I will try to answer pretty much every question honestly. There are few questions I feel I would be uncomfortable answering.

So please, I would like to talk to someone: anyone who might be interested in a nobody.

I have long been a watcher on this site. I never really got into art while I was growing up; school was difficult as it was for me and I dug myself into gaming. I had been unhappy with my life and wanted a change. I've always lived on the internet. I identify with the name "Rufran" more than I do my actual name, but I never had a face to put with that name.

I'm changing that now. Along with trying to put my life into working order, I want to become an artist and I want to be truly a part of this community rather than an awkward bystander. It will take some time, but I am beginning with the basics and when I feel I am competent enough I will put a face to the name Rufran like I've always wanted.

If you are reading this journal, it is probably because I've just followed you and you are looking in to greet me and thank me for watching, but the truth is if it is any time close to the date I am writing this, I've already been following you on a shell watcher account.

If this applies to you, I want you to know that all of your artwork has meant a great deal to me. All of you have inspired me to try being myself and you are all great artists.

Thank you so much.

--Rufran