*tap tap* Hello hello?
Posted a year agoHey there! Is this thing on? Ahem, yes.
We're going to be doing some updates to the external website, largely after abandoning the headaches with wordpress. Some exclusive art will be posted there, along with a few things here on FA and in the other fetishy account. I'll make a separate journal for that since we have no real plans on becoming more active on this site then necessary, just probably a good idea to have SOME presence given the current climate.
Also there's about a few years worth of sketches, unposted, unfinished stuff that is floating around, would anyone be interested in that, as well as high-res files? Hosting it and posting it here is a bit of a pain, but considering we could both use the dosh, might run a very low-cost Patreon and post a lot of the sketch stuff there as well as high-res options for some of the big pics and sequences that come out, as they tend to be posted piecemeal and it's easier to enjoy them (imho) as a big thing.
That's all for now, hope all's well with ya'll!
We're going to be doing some updates to the external website, largely after abandoning the headaches with wordpress. Some exclusive art will be posted there, along with a few things here on FA and in the other fetishy account. I'll make a separate journal for that since we have no real plans on becoming more active on this site then necessary, just probably a good idea to have SOME presence given the current climate.
Also there's about a few years worth of sketches, unposted, unfinished stuff that is floating around, would anyone be interested in that, as well as high-res files? Hosting it and posting it here is a bit of a pain, but considering we could both use the dosh, might run a very low-cost Patreon and post a lot of the sketch stuff there as well as high-res options for some of the big pics and sequences that come out, as they tend to be posted piecemeal and it's easier to enjoy them (imho) as a big thing.
That's all for now, hope all's well with ya'll!
Secretary!
Posted 4 years agoHey there!
This is Ruggy's secretary here. I'm taking over assisting with her posting duties for a while to help assist with some executive dysfunction regarding this site and others along with a desire to save time when interacting with posting. I will mostly be doing this, but occasionally may be in charge of responding to commissions so that can be handled more timely and consistently.
Thanks! Here's to being more active!
This is Ruggy's secretary here. I'm taking over assisting with her posting duties for a while to help assist with some executive dysfunction regarding this site and others along with a desire to save time when interacting with posting. I will mostly be doing this, but occasionally may be in charge of responding to commissions so that can be handled more timely and consistently.
Thanks! Here's to being more active!
New TF/Fetish Account
Posted 7 years ago... in addition to this one, not instead of ;)
I'm drawing enough weird enough stuff that I get wiggy about putting it in this account, when FA offers no tag blocking, so I'm separating it out for your convenience from here on out. Anything weirder than your vanilla "oh no, the light of the moon has made me a wolfman" TF is gonna be here:
fuzzysexwizard
I'll probably still post the not-weird parts (usually there's a first panel that's just very normal) with links to their weird counterparts, but seein' it will be voluntary.
(Still easiest to reach me here, though.)
I'm drawing enough weird enough stuff that I get wiggy about putting it in this account, when FA offers no tag blocking, so I'm separating it out for your convenience from here on out. Anything weirder than your vanilla "oh no, the light of the moon has made me a wolfman" TF is gonna be here:

I'll probably still post the not-weird parts (usually there's a first panel that's just very normal) with links to their weird counterparts, but seein' it will be voluntary.
(Still easiest to reach me here, though.)
Closed!
Posted 8 years agoClosing commissions for now to wrap up my old queue, retool some prices and such, and work on personal things for a month or so!
I'm Alive and Actually Better
Posted 8 years agoThe past... couple years have been inconceivably rough from a health standpoint. I got mono, had it for six months, and never really got better (even once I stopped getting fevers.) I was distressingly and increasingly tired and unable to think. I had trouble staying awake, much less do things like 'form multi-syllabic sentences' and 'draw'. And I had no idea why for the longest; it took a string of doctors and several blood tests (the last of which they took some ten vials of blood from me for) before we found literally anything.
Apparently I was living with untreated celiac disease? And had been for long enough that the intestinal inflammation meant my body wasn't able to absorb the vitamins it needed to make blood. (So I wasn't just anemic, I was low on literally everything.) Which explains a lot. And it's entirely possible that getting mono made a pre-existing wheat allergy either manifest or get worse, apparently, which also explains why I never really... got better after mono.
I've changed my diet as I was instructed to do, and while it's way more effort and way more expensive to eat gluten free, I feel a lot better. I can think again(!!!!!) and stay awake all day without needing to nap 2-3 times? Holy shit!
And drawing is faster, though I'm still slow from two years of barely being able to draw at all. But I've been able to draw better, faster, so I am hopeful that drawing with a functional brain will enable me to get faster still.
I feel like myself for the first time in years. It's a relief.
Apparently I was living with untreated celiac disease? And had been for long enough that the intestinal inflammation meant my body wasn't able to absorb the vitamins it needed to make blood. (So I wasn't just anemic, I was low on literally everything.) Which explains a lot. And it's entirely possible that getting mono made a pre-existing wheat allergy either manifest or get worse, apparently, which also explains why I never really... got better after mono.
I've changed my diet as I was instructed to do, and while it's way more effort and way more expensive to eat gluten free, I feel a lot better. I can think again(!!!!!) and stay awake all day without needing to nap 2-3 times? Holy shit!
And drawing is faster, though I'm still slow from two years of barely being able to draw at all. But I've been able to draw better, faster, so I am hopeful that drawing with a functional brain will enable me to get faster still.
I feel like myself for the first time in years. It's a relief.
Changing Site Emphasis / Are You Leaving?
Posted 9 years agoUnlike many, I had easy access to my FA account email and reset my password. But I know not everyone has and a lot of people are (quite understandably) leaving because haha wow.
I am not leaving FA completely, for now. However, considering the following:
- I don't have a huge amount of followers here
- I don't make anything more than supplemental income from commissions (full time job and The Year of Illness not helping that) and they've mostly come from elsewhere than FA
- The site is, plain and simply, unreliable.
I really have no reason to keep this as my main haunt. I'll still be checking it and uploading occasionally, but it's likely to be in small batches, after work has been uploaded elsewhere.
I now have LastPass set up after the password debacle, and as I no longer have to reset my password every time it occurs to me to check my lesser-used art sites (I have a horrible memory for passwords), I'm gonna be updating those more as well. Here's places I'll be more than FA:
https://beta.furrynetwork.com/ruggy/
https://www.weasyl.com/~ruggy
https://twitter.com/Ruggafluff (the art:noise ratio there is admittedly not high, but I'm very interactive there)
Places I won't be quite as interactive, but will still be updating in the upcoming days:
http://ruggafluff.tumblr.com/ (I plan to clear my old posts out and connect this to my personal site that's in progress, this will be entirely for art)
https://ruggy.sofurry.com/
I don't have any plans to go to dA because half the shit I draw wouldn't be allowed there, but I think this is a pretty good spread as it is. (Though, hey, if people say 'aww but I use dA more than anything else' en masse, I may keep a presence there and just upload my SFW stuff.)
Are you leaving / using other sites primarily now? Send me links to your profiles and I'll follow you back!
I am not leaving FA completely, for now. However, considering the following:
- I don't have a huge amount of followers here
- I don't make anything more than supplemental income from commissions (full time job and The Year of Illness not helping that) and they've mostly come from elsewhere than FA
- The site is, plain and simply, unreliable.
I really have no reason to keep this as my main haunt. I'll still be checking it and uploading occasionally, but it's likely to be in small batches, after work has been uploaded elsewhere.
I now have LastPass set up after the password debacle, and as I no longer have to reset my password every time it occurs to me to check my lesser-used art sites (I have a horrible memory for passwords), I'm gonna be updating those more as well. Here's places I'll be more than FA:
https://beta.furrynetwork.com/ruggy/
https://www.weasyl.com/~ruggy
https://twitter.com/Ruggafluff (the art:noise ratio there is admittedly not high, but I'm very interactive there)
Places I won't be quite as interactive, but will still be updating in the upcoming days:
http://ruggafluff.tumblr.com/ (I plan to clear my old posts out and connect this to my personal site that's in progress, this will be entirely for art)
https://ruggy.sofurry.com/
I don't have any plans to go to dA because half the shit I draw wouldn't be allowed there, but I think this is a pretty good spread as it is. (Though, hey, if people say 'aww but I use dA more than anything else' en masse, I may keep a presence there and just upload my SFW stuff.)
Are you leaving / using other sites primarily now? Send me links to your profiles and I'll follow you back!
Furry Network / woo BLFC
Posted 9 years agoI got one of them too! I'm here: https://beta.furrynetwork.com/ruggy/
I wasn't too keen on it before the UI update, but I'm finding it a lot easier to use now. Staff have been very prompt with bug reports and concerns. It's been pretty okay!
---
BLFC was a lot of fun, too! Hung out with a lot of cool folks. I've been consistently impressed with how well that con is run and look forward to going again next year.
Art shall resume soon, just gotta get caught up with work junk!
I wasn't too keen on it before the UI update, but I'm finding it a lot easier to use now. Staff have been very prompt with bug reports and concerns. It's been pretty okay!
---
BLFC was a lot of fun, too! Hung out with a lot of cool folks. I've been consistently impressed with how well that con is run and look forward to going again next year.
Art shall resume soon, just gotta get caught up with work junk!
oh look a BLFC meme
Posted 9 years agoWhere are you staying?
Grand Sierra Resort.
What day are you getting there?
Friday
How are you traveling?
Plane!
Who will you be rooming with?
My fiance,
grafttikidog
Are there any panels you might be attending?
Ooh the How to Dance one looks super cool.
What do you look like?
Like a chubby white chick with bluish-greenish hair. (Not posting a photo of myself to FA.)
Will you be suiting?
Depends on if I can fit the head into a carry-on bag.
What is your gender?
Cis female, so female pronouns 'n all that are just fine.
How tall are you?
Like 5' 6"?
Can I talk to you?
Of course! Just introduce yourself if we haven't met IRL before.
Can I touch you?
Not without my permission, unless it's a light shoulder tap to get my attention.
How can I find you?
Uhh, probably tweet at me; I'm Ruggafluff
Can I buy you drinks?
Not unless you're gonna buy my fiance one too.
Can I give you stuff?
The ever-optimistic meme question, haha. I'd be all over quick little doodles actually.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hug, yes, if you ask first (with words or body language.) I only get snuggly with close friends.
Are you nice?
I certainly try to be!
Do you have an artist table?
Nope.
Will you be going to parties?
Not any big ones, likely to just visit peoples' rooms we know.
Will you be performing?
Nope!
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
"RUGGY!" works! You could also tap my shoulder if I don't hear you but don't be surprised if I jump like a startled baby deer.
Can I look in your sketchbook?
Yes!
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Yes, just sign it!
Can I take your picture?
If I manage to bring my suit down yeah, also if it's like us together or me drawing something that's fine.
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Have fun and try not to spend too much money this time! XD
Grand Sierra Resort.
What day are you getting there?
Friday
How are you traveling?
Plane!
Who will you be rooming with?
My fiance,

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Ooh the How to Dance one looks super cool.
What do you look like?
Like a chubby white chick with bluish-greenish hair. (Not posting a photo of myself to FA.)
Will you be suiting?
Depends on if I can fit the head into a carry-on bag.
What is your gender?
Cis female, so female pronouns 'n all that are just fine.
How tall are you?
Like 5' 6"?
Can I talk to you?
Of course! Just introduce yourself if we haven't met IRL before.
Can I touch you?
Not without my permission, unless it's a light shoulder tap to get my attention.
How can I find you?
Uhh, probably tweet at me; I'm Ruggafluff
Can I buy you drinks?
Not unless you're gonna buy my fiance one too.
Can I give you stuff?
The ever-optimistic meme question, haha. I'd be all over quick little doodles actually.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hug, yes, if you ask first (with words or body language.) I only get snuggly with close friends.
Are you nice?
I certainly try to be!
Do you have an artist table?
Nope.
Will you be going to parties?
Not any big ones, likely to just visit peoples' rooms we know.
Will you be performing?
Nope!
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
"RUGGY!" works! You could also tap my shoulder if I don't hear you but don't be surprised if I jump like a startled baby deer.
Can I look in your sketchbook?
Yes!
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Yes, just sign it!
Can I take your picture?
If I manage to bring my suit down yeah, also if it's like us together or me drawing something that's fine.
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Have fun and try not to spend too much money this time! XD
LIFE UPDATE WOO
Posted 9 years agoQuick update. I've been engaged for a little over a month now, but something came in the mail today and you guys. Look at the ring he got me: http://i.imgur.com/KWqmPiM.jpg
Eeeee
Eeeee
A Thing I Like
Posted 9 years agoSo, as an artist, sometimes I get down on my work. Sometimes I think my work is bad and no one wants to see it; that it's not worthwhile and a useless waste of energy; or my choice of preferred subject matter is dumb and I should stop liking it and start liking better things.
None of these things are very useful or very fun to feel. But I recently came across this post, about fear and art, and whenever I start to feel those things again, I revisit the thought.
That art is not something bad that should make me fear failure. That art is an adventure, and so may come with bumps and bruises, but is infinitely better than not having it there for the dark times and the lonely times.
I thought I would share it, in case anyone else might get some comfort out of it, too.
None of these things are very useful or very fun to feel. But I recently came across this post, about fear and art, and whenever I start to feel those things again, I revisit the thought.
That art is not something bad that should make me fear failure. That art is an adventure, and so may come with bumps and bruises, but is infinitely better than not having it there for the dark times and the lonely times.
I thought I would share it, in case anyone else might get some comfort out of it, too.
EEEEEE I have a new addition!
Posted 9 years agoI probably should've waited until I had batteries for my GOOD camera but you guys I am so excited.
I've wanted a gecko for moooonths but was waiting until CareCredit was paid off, so I could save up for the habitat setup and the critter itself. I paid off CareCredit last month (YAY) and was all set to start saving when a friend of mine mentioned he had a crested gecko that could use a new home!
SO.
Here are a couple of potato-y phone pictures of Chip! One of them is even out of focus! Uno y Dos
(It was hard to get a picture of his face because he was just so interested in his new surroundings omg aw.)
He's just the friendliest, chillest little fellow. He's not jumpy at all and is very fond of perching on hands and shoulders, to the point of not even wanting to go back onto his familiar branch from my unfamiliar hand.
(Also he is super super cute and I am amazed at how soft crested gecko feet are.)
Please also enjoy a cell phone picture of my dog in a tiny hat, complete with things I forgot to pick up off the floor.
I've wanted a gecko for moooonths but was waiting until CareCredit was paid off, so I could save up for the habitat setup and the critter itself. I paid off CareCredit last month (YAY) and was all set to start saving when a friend of mine mentioned he had a crested gecko that could use a new home!
SO.
Here are a couple of potato-y phone pictures of Chip! One of them is even out of focus! Uno y Dos
(It was hard to get a picture of his face because he was just so interested in his new surroundings omg aw.)
He's just the friendliest, chillest little fellow. He's not jumpy at all and is very fond of perching on hands and shoulders, to the point of not even wanting to go back onto his familiar branch from my unfamiliar hand.
(Also he is super super cute and I am amazed at how soft crested gecko feet are.)
Please also enjoy a cell phone picture of my dog in a tiny hat, complete with things I forgot to pick up off the floor.
Safe and sound
Posted 9 years agoJust for the sake of thoroughness, I thought I'd throw it out there that we didn't get hit by the F4 tornado in my part of Dallas. Some flooding and hail in our area but my household is whole and safe.
I'm also not sick anymore! Which is super keen. Ended up having mono for close to 5 months but I've been fever-free and healthy for a couple of weeks now. And I've actually been working on art again. Good feeling.
That's about it! I've got Clip Studio open and I figure the best way to reassert my presence on the internet is to actually start producing work again so I'm gonna get on that.
I hope you all are safe and well. <3
I'm also not sick anymore! Which is super keen. Ended up having mono for close to 5 months but I've been fever-free and healthy for a couple of weeks now. And I've actually been working on art again. Good feeling.
That's about it! I've got Clip Studio open and I figure the best way to reassert my presence on the internet is to actually start producing work again so I'm gonna get on that.
I hope you all are safe and well. <3
Not dead, still ill. Also FurryNetwork.
Posted 10 years agoMono! The gift that keeps on giving.
I went to the doctor for a re-check and the blood test showed me "better, but only just slightly better" than when I first got diagnosed with mono, over four months ago now. Still been running fevers for like three weeks, oi.
I still have to sleep at least 12 hours a day to avoid passing out at my desk. It would be cool if I didn't have shit to do, but oh well. Nothing much to be done for it but not push myself.
And I haven't been drawing much at all except for some random sketchbook doodles, buuut, I did go ahead and get a FurryNetwork beta key. I'm here: https://beta.furrynetwork.com/ruggy/
It's chomping on importing my work from FA right now which is pretty neat. (I don't have to manually re-up everything!) I'll dig into the site more when I have more energy but I am liking it so far.
I went to the doctor for a re-check and the blood test showed me "better, but only just slightly better" than when I first got diagnosed with mono, over four months ago now. Still been running fevers for like three weeks, oi.
I still have to sleep at least 12 hours a day to avoid passing out at my desk. It would be cool if I didn't have shit to do, but oh well. Nothing much to be done for it but not push myself.
And I haven't been drawing much at all except for some random sketchbook doodles, buuut, I did go ahead and get a FurryNetwork beta key. I'm here: https://beta.furrynetwork.com/ruggy/
It's chomping on importing my work from FA right now which is pretty neat. (I don't have to manually re-up everything!) I'll dig into the site more when I have more energy but I am liking it so far.
Happy Birthday
Posted 10 years agoI still miss you as much as ever, Red.
But your memory makes me smile. Even if your time was cut short, I'm glad I got to experience some of it.
Ride eternal, friend.
But your memory makes me smile. Even if your time was cut short, I'm glad I got to experience some of it.
Ride eternal, friend.
How long can one person be sick?! Also, color stuff.
Posted 10 years agoGuess who still has mono, nearly four months later? It even seems to have relapsed, which is fun. I sure did miss feeling pain in my spleen.
Art output has obviously been close to nil. I am eager for that to change, once I have the energy.
Because this fab tutorial got posted in my Twitter feed recently and it covers a subject that I'd been doing a lot of thinking about recently. My painterly shading style is a bit... off, a bit un-dimensional to my eyes, and I think working on working more colors into the shadows and highlights may be what I'm missing.
I think the thing that'd get me caught up with that is -- what about characters with a lot of stripes and spots? Admittedly, most of my painting experience is with actual paint, where layers aren't an option.
It's really a very interesting area (well, for me, haha) and it really makes me wish I had the energy for much experimentation lately.
Mono sucks. Don't share drinks, kids.
Art output has obviously been close to nil. I am eager for that to change, once I have the energy.
Because this fab tutorial got posted in my Twitter feed recently and it covers a subject that I'd been doing a lot of thinking about recently. My painterly shading style is a bit... off, a bit un-dimensional to my eyes, and I think working on working more colors into the shadows and highlights may be what I'm missing.
I think the thing that'd get me caught up with that is -- what about characters with a lot of stripes and spots? Admittedly, most of my painting experience is with actual paint, where layers aren't an option.
It's really a very interesting area (well, for me, haha) and it really makes me wish I had the energy for much experimentation lately.
Mono sucks. Don't share drinks, kids.
Selling paintings at cons?
Posted 10 years agoQuick question: those of you who go to cons, and either buy work there or sell work there, do you ever purchase or successfully sell original paintings? Or if you sell original paintings, what venues do you have the most luck selling them in (cons, off-beat art galleries, little coffee shops, funky little salons, whatever.)
I'm moving soon and I've got a ton of smaller canvases I'd like to get rid of. I think it might be nice to do some stylized animal paintings and see if I can't get some of them in a good home, instead of just sitting blank in a pile in the corner. But shipping canvases is a huge PITA, so conventions occurred to me.
I'm assuming paintings that are easier to hang in common areas in a home (so like, an expressive feral animal, rather than a big-titted furry or something) would be more broadly appealing. Plus regular animals are just fun to paint, especially in fun bright colors. :3
I'm moving soon and I've got a ton of smaller canvases I'd like to get rid of. I think it might be nice to do some stylized animal paintings and see if I can't get some of them in a good home, instead of just sitting blank in a pile in the corner. But shipping canvases is a huge PITA, so conventions occurred to me.
I'm assuming paintings that are easier to hang in common areas in a home (so like, an expressive feral animal, rather than a big-titted furry or something) would be more broadly appealing. Plus regular animals are just fun to paint, especially in fun bright colors. :3
Moving house! Yessss.
Posted 10 years ago(In the quite literal sense of moving to a new place, not moving accounts.)
I pick up the keys tomorrow. :) We signed the lease yesterday. And we have an entire month to move with how the leases turned out, which is awesome. Particularly with it being over 100F (and humid ugh) lately.
I'm so excited. I get to have a real desk again (there's no room for one in this 1-bedroom apartment) and room for my drafting table, eeee. I've been missing traditional art something fierce and it'll be nice to be able to get into my watercolors and inks again without worry about them dripping on my boyfriend's fancy couch.
Also pretty keen on getting away from these neighbors who regularly have loud conversations until 2AM but get tetchy with us for watching movies at 10PM and complain that my dog is loud (he only ever barks in his sleep.) I know neighbor roulette never guarantees better ones, but man, I'm ready for a change. Supposedly the floors aren't quite so thin at the new place. Hopefully the "good fences make good neighbors" principle will apply there.
A real house would be really nice, but. One day. Possibly. Maybe. Hopefully?
Not that I was ever officially open for commissions (I just kept getting them and ran that drive one time; good situation to be in!) but I'm definitely not taking on any more work until after we've moved. Just fun stuff for me and the boyfriend in the meanwhile, since I'll undoubtedly have to put it aside to put stuff in boxes soon.
I'm excited for having a proper work space. :3
I pick up the keys tomorrow. :) We signed the lease yesterday. And we have an entire month to move with how the leases turned out, which is awesome. Particularly with it being over 100F (and humid ugh) lately.
I'm so excited. I get to have a real desk again (there's no room for one in this 1-bedroom apartment) and room for my drafting table, eeee. I've been missing traditional art something fierce and it'll be nice to be able to get into my watercolors and inks again without worry about them dripping on my boyfriend's fancy couch.
Also pretty keen on getting away from these neighbors who regularly have loud conversations until 2AM but get tetchy with us for watching movies at 10PM and complain that my dog is loud (he only ever barks in his sleep.) I know neighbor roulette never guarantees better ones, but man, I'm ready for a change. Supposedly the floors aren't quite so thin at the new place. Hopefully the "good fences make good neighbors" principle will apply there.
A real house would be really nice, but. One day. Possibly. Maybe. Hopefully?
Not that I was ever officially open for commissions (I just kept getting them and ran that drive one time; good situation to be in!) but I'm definitely not taking on any more work until after we've moved. Just fun stuff for me and the boyfriend in the meanwhile, since I'll undoubtedly have to put it aside to put stuff in boxes soon.
I'm excited for having a proper work space. :3
LAME BORING MEME THING
Posted 10 years agoBecause I am weak and introductioninduction did it so, BLAME THE CROCODILE. Or blame me I guess, I suppose I'm long past the age where they start trying you as an adult.
Name: Kirah (OR IS IT. IT COULD BE ANYTHING. but it is. BUT IS IT?)
Nickname: Ruggy. Yes, people IRL call me this and have since I was 12.
Location: DFW Texas. Or possibly inside of an oven, it's hard to tell this week.
Age: 27
Height: Like 5' 6", THE MOST BORING HEIGHT.
Zodiac sign: Shrimp cocktail
Pets: Just one. Wesley the miniature poodle, who is the bestest cutest doggy in the world. This is objective fact, and in no way my biased opinion.
Favorite thing about yourself: That I am not currently made of chocolate pudding or other edible, gelatinous dessert.
Worst habit: Obsessive hair-pulling and skin picking. Assuming that doesn't count as just a straight up disorder.
Fun fact: I can bark like an actual dog. My favorite thing is to do this around dogs and confuse them, or in places where dogs are not allowed.
Identity, Sexuality & Personality
Gender identity: Lady
Sexual preference: People who would like to do the sex with me. (bi/pan, I guess?)
Romantic preference: Cool people who would like to do cuddles and watch/listen to fun stuff.
"Kinsey Scale" score: I showed up late for the test and they didn't let me take it, so I guess I failed Kinsey class.
Relationship status: Occasionally baffled as to why my boyfriend puts up with a crazypants like me, but very happy.
Myers/Briggs type: Is there a type that thinks personality tests are stupid? I'm that one.
Hogwarts house: Gryffindor, I guess? That seems like the party house.
Routine
"Early Bird" or "Night Owl": A night owl in an early bird world, alas.
First thought in the morning: "SHUT UP DOG I'LL TAKE YOU OUT LET ME PUT PANTS ON"
Last thought before falling asleep at night: I don't have actual thoughts at that point. Just a series of disjointed images as I fall into unconsciousness.
School/Work
Do you work or are you a student: I work, in the metaphorical financial shackles that my time as a student put me in.
What do you do well: I draw stuff okay. I have also kept a dog alive, relatively happy, and not overweight for like four years now so that's pretty cool.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years: Not in Texas, hopefully.
Habits (Do you…?)
Drink: On occasion. I like fruity bitch cocktails and hefeweizens.
Smoke: ... Not tobacco, no.
Do Drugs: Why do you ask, officer?
Exercise: I do what I need to to keep the dog from driving me crazy. When I'm not stricken with the mononucleosis plague we go on longish walks at least twice a day.
Have a go-to comfort food: ... Breakfast cereal.
Have a nervous habit: Biting my lip until it bleeds, and once it does, moving on to picking at the skin around my fingernails. SEXY.
What is your favorite…?
Physical quality (in yourself): I am a fan of the fact that my internal systems are currently operational and not malfunctioning.
In Others: I like the part that smiles and when they say funny things. SO I GUESS THE MOUTH. Which seems weird.
Mental/emotional quality (in yourself): Sometimes I like to think I'm not a huge idiot and I do okay at thinking about things, but then again I did get a Fine Arts degree so don't trust anything I say and definitely do not trust my judgment.
Food: Sushi, which I could eat until I died of mercury poisoning.
Drink: Iced tea. But not that bullshit instant mix that fast food places like to serve or that oversweetened lemony garbage they sell in cans. HERETICS.
Animal: The ones that want to be friends with me!! So probably dogs.
Colors: Most of them, in the right context. I like warm colors a lot.
Artist/Band/Group: HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE? I COULD LIST THESE FOREVER.
Author/Poet: Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman. Even better when they were in the same book!
Actor/Actress: Patrick Stewart I guess because he is just a shining beacon of a human being.
Blogger: I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.
Name: Kirah (OR IS IT. IT COULD BE ANYTHING. but it is. BUT IS IT?)
Nickname: Ruggy. Yes, people IRL call me this and have since I was 12.
Location: DFW Texas. Or possibly inside of an oven, it's hard to tell this week.
Age: 27
Height: Like 5' 6", THE MOST BORING HEIGHT.
Zodiac sign: Shrimp cocktail
Pets: Just one. Wesley the miniature poodle, who is the bestest cutest doggy in the world. This is objective fact, and in no way my biased opinion.
Favorite thing about yourself: That I am not currently made of chocolate pudding or other edible, gelatinous dessert.
Worst habit: Obsessive hair-pulling and skin picking. Assuming that doesn't count as just a straight up disorder.
Fun fact: I can bark like an actual dog. My favorite thing is to do this around dogs and confuse them, or in places where dogs are not allowed.
Identity, Sexuality & Personality
Gender identity: Lady
Sexual preference: People who would like to do the sex with me. (bi/pan, I guess?)
Romantic preference: Cool people who would like to do cuddles and watch/listen to fun stuff.
"Kinsey Scale" score: I showed up late for the test and they didn't let me take it, so I guess I failed Kinsey class.
Relationship status: Occasionally baffled as to why my boyfriend puts up with a crazypants like me, but very happy.
Myers/Briggs type: Is there a type that thinks personality tests are stupid? I'm that one.
Hogwarts house: Gryffindor, I guess? That seems like the party house.
Routine
"Early Bird" or "Night Owl": A night owl in an early bird world, alas.
First thought in the morning: "SHUT UP DOG I'LL TAKE YOU OUT LET ME PUT PANTS ON"
Last thought before falling asleep at night: I don't have actual thoughts at that point. Just a series of disjointed images as I fall into unconsciousness.
School/Work
Do you work or are you a student: I work, in the metaphorical financial shackles that my time as a student put me in.
What do you do well: I draw stuff okay. I have also kept a dog alive, relatively happy, and not overweight for like four years now so that's pretty cool.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years: Not in Texas, hopefully.
Habits (Do you…?)
Drink: On occasion. I like fruity bitch cocktails and hefeweizens.
Smoke: ... Not tobacco, no.
Do Drugs: Why do you ask, officer?
Exercise: I do what I need to to keep the dog from driving me crazy. When I'm not stricken with the mononucleosis plague we go on longish walks at least twice a day.
Have a go-to comfort food: ... Breakfast cereal.
Have a nervous habit: Biting my lip until it bleeds, and once it does, moving on to picking at the skin around my fingernails. SEXY.
What is your favorite…?
Physical quality (in yourself): I am a fan of the fact that my internal systems are currently operational and not malfunctioning.
In Others: I like the part that smiles and when they say funny things. SO I GUESS THE MOUTH. Which seems weird.
Mental/emotional quality (in yourself): Sometimes I like to think I'm not a huge idiot and I do okay at thinking about things, but then again I did get a Fine Arts degree so don't trust anything I say and definitely do not trust my judgment.
Food: Sushi, which I could eat until I died of mercury poisoning.
Drink: Iced tea. But not that bullshit instant mix that fast food places like to serve or that oversweetened lemony garbage they sell in cans. HERETICS.
Animal: The ones that want to be friends with me!! So probably dogs.
Colors: Most of them, in the right context. I like warm colors a lot.
Artist/Band/Group: HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE? I COULD LIST THESE FOREVER.
Author/Poet: Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman. Even better when they were in the same book!
Actor/Actress: Patrick Stewart I guess because he is just a shining beacon of a human being.
Blogger: I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.
Stuff and Things
Posted 10 years agoSo I'm doing much better this week. I don't know if I can chalk it up to resilience or exhaustion, but I've done some healing or something.
Red's memorial was lovely. I went with three dear friends, my boyfriend, and my dad, and having them near was invaluable. Red's momma hugged me, told me to stay positive, and let me cry on her shoulder. She's a sweetheart.
I've been making an effort to tell all my friends and family how I feel about them. I was never shy about it before, but I don't want there to be any doubt. I don't want to ever wonder again if someone knew exactly how much I loved them. If that makes me sentimental, well, stamp my ass and call me a Hallmark card, but it feels pretty nice.
I've been using music to cope a lot lately. It's always been a go-to but considering how much music that Red and I shared, it's been invaluable. This one has been my soundtrack this morning, off and on. I keep coming back to it. It kept me company after my last breakup and it's been doing my heart some good today as well.
"You got a shock to your system
Pull yourself out of it
I know that shock to your system
Knocked your heart right out of sync"
"You must rely on love once in a while
To give you reason
You must rely on me once in a while
To give you reason"
(And hello yes, showing my stereotypical queer girl stripes here, I guess. I love Tegan and Sara, no shame.)
I suppose one slim silver lining of a complete system shock like that is getting my head out of my ass. For some weeks/months I've been doing the 'woe is me, why am I so terrible at everything' ennui crap. Art was hard. I'd been dealing with the recently (but thoroughly) learned conviction that my dumb animal people art isn't good enough and I should be doing the kind of artwork that my professors would've applauded. (Y'know, the kind of work I have no interest in doing.) Same old funk that locked me into years of not touching a pencil after I graduated.
It was an easy slide from there to just losing confidence in my skill completely. I have so much work to do to bring my work to the next level, that ever-moving upward goal, after all. How could a burnt-out failure like me possibly push that high? I had already given up on Higher Art, I never pursued any of the things college trained me for (teaching or gallery work); what business did I have doing any of that "aspiring" crap?
But, as Red would've said, "Normal ain't nothin' but a setting on a washing machine." I like what I draw, which is really the important thing here. She liked what I draw. Other people seem to like it as well. Their opinions aren't less valid just because they don't hold a university teaching position. My interest isn't less valid just because I've been steered away from it.
Drawing has felt good again. The challenge of things I haven't drawn yet is inspiring rather than overwhelming. The stories I have in my head about my flawed little animal folks feel like they're worth telling. After all, she was always excited to hear about them and brainstorm with me. They're worth being told, the images in my head are worth being drawn. There are undoubtedly people who would find them stupid, but those aren't the people I should ever worry about pleasing.
No more somedays.
Red's memorial was lovely. I went with three dear friends, my boyfriend, and my dad, and having them near was invaluable. Red's momma hugged me, told me to stay positive, and let me cry on her shoulder. She's a sweetheart.
I've been making an effort to tell all my friends and family how I feel about them. I was never shy about it before, but I don't want there to be any doubt. I don't want to ever wonder again if someone knew exactly how much I loved them. If that makes me sentimental, well, stamp my ass and call me a Hallmark card, but it feels pretty nice.
I've been using music to cope a lot lately. It's always been a go-to but considering how much music that Red and I shared, it's been invaluable. This one has been my soundtrack this morning, off and on. I keep coming back to it. It kept me company after my last breakup and it's been doing my heart some good today as well.
"You got a shock to your system
Pull yourself out of it
I know that shock to your system
Knocked your heart right out of sync"
"You must rely on love once in a while
To give you reason
You must rely on me once in a while
To give you reason"
(And hello yes, showing my stereotypical queer girl stripes here, I guess. I love Tegan and Sara, no shame.)
I suppose one slim silver lining of a complete system shock like that is getting my head out of my ass. For some weeks/months I've been doing the 'woe is me, why am I so terrible at everything' ennui crap. Art was hard. I'd been dealing with the recently (but thoroughly) learned conviction that my dumb animal people art isn't good enough and I should be doing the kind of artwork that my professors would've applauded. (Y'know, the kind of work I have no interest in doing.) Same old funk that locked me into years of not touching a pencil after I graduated.
It was an easy slide from there to just losing confidence in my skill completely. I have so much work to do to bring my work to the next level, that ever-moving upward goal, after all. How could a burnt-out failure like me possibly push that high? I had already given up on Higher Art, I never pursued any of the things college trained me for (teaching or gallery work); what business did I have doing any of that "aspiring" crap?
But, as Red would've said, "Normal ain't nothin' but a setting on a washing machine." I like what I draw, which is really the important thing here. She liked what I draw. Other people seem to like it as well. Their opinions aren't less valid just because they don't hold a university teaching position. My interest isn't less valid just because I've been steered away from it.
Drawing has felt good again. The challenge of things I haven't drawn yet is inspiring rather than overwhelming. The stories I have in my head about my flawed little animal folks feel like they're worth telling. After all, she was always excited to hear about them and brainstorm with me. They're worth being told, the images in my head are worth being drawn. There are undoubtedly people who would find them stupid, but those aren't the people I should ever worry about pleasing.
No more somedays.
To My Dearest Red
Posted 10 years agoIt's been two days now. Two whole days and it still feels like just yesterday that we were grumbling about the Tennessee heat as we tried to sleep off the previous night. It also feels like a million years since I got the news.
I still can't believe it. It feels so strange. To think all those conversations we had, about death and the meaning of life, and you were the one reassuring me about my fear of the void and fear of living a meaningless life. You were my grounding, then. You pulled my head out of those stormy clouds and helped me put my feet back on the ground. You took my focus away from death so that I could concentrate on life.
If there was anyone I knew who had looked death in the face and decided it was nothing to be worried about, it was you, my friend.
But I can't say that makes this feel any better. Life without you.
When we first started talking, two or so years ago now, I instantly liked you. I had a crush, too, for a bit. But the both of us were going through hard times. I had decided not to kill myself and was looking for meaning in life, trying to salvage my existence. You were still deep into hard drugs and, to use your own words, burning bridges. So I was happy to just lean on you, and let you lean on me, and leave notions of anything beyond friendship at the door. Survival. We just had to focus on survival.
Even two separate pains are made easier when they are shared.
And survive we did. I turned my life around and so did you. And you went through so much more than I could have handled. And somehow, even during your dark days, your inner light just shined through. There was just so much life in you that it was infectious.
Did you know? Even when I felt like the most worthless person, hopeless in my desolation and feeling so utterly alone, to talk to you would make me smile. Even when you were sad, too. You made me feel less alone.
You meant, and continue to mean, so much to me. You brought light into my life where I felt there was none. You encouraged me in my search for meaning, and applauded me when I found it. And I was likewise so, so happy for you as your life turned around. A new home. A new job, one with so many interesting stories, which I know you loved to tell. So many friends who loved you so much. And beautiful hair and sassy goddamn boots. Your life was becoming as beautiful as you.
I can only hope I meant even a fraction to you that you did to me. I am devastated without you. The world is greyer, and less friendly somehow.
You told me our road trip was your happiest memory. I got so flustered, at the time, I could hardly believe it. Your life was so extraordinary, I was honored to even be a footnote in it. And now, no matter how hard I imagine it, I can't wake up in our tent. Drenched in sweat with the thumping of a distant drum kit testing the mics, at the bright and early time of 2PM. It feels so real and so recent and yet it slips through my fingers the harder I try. I want to wake up there because you were there.
But I can't. I'm left with this reality without you in it. And I suppose I have to make do. But god, does it suck. I don't want to.
You'd want me to, I know. You always encouraged me to live my life to the fullest. That was one of the things I loved about you. You loved life and you loved seeing people live it, even and especially if yours wasn't going so great.
You had so much love. So much patience. You would fight with people and turn around and talk to them like they were a friend. So many people have reached out to me in your absence to tell me how much they loved you, too. And they all say the same. Your heart had room for everyone in it. You didn't care how they saw themselves or what they'd done in past; you saw the light in them all and you brought it out in everyone.
I feel robbed, honestly. Everyone should. Whatever missteps you made in your past, you more than made up for them. You were a force for good in so many of our lives.
I'll miss the hell out of you. I'll miss sharing music that excited us. I'll miss laughing at dirty jokes. I'll miss talking about our characters and their fucked up little lives, and writing stories together. I'll miss the feeling of elation I got when I had a message from you. I'll miss your face, your smile, your lilting voice.
You made my life better, my friend. Even in two short years, which was not nearly enough time. Not nearly enough at all. But you made the most of the time you had. You did so much living in 23 years. I was excited to see what you would've done with 60 more.
I love you, Red. I love you and miss you and I will carry you in my heart until I join you in that space between spaces.
Goodbye, my friend.
I still can't believe it. It feels so strange. To think all those conversations we had, about death and the meaning of life, and you were the one reassuring me about my fear of the void and fear of living a meaningless life. You were my grounding, then. You pulled my head out of those stormy clouds and helped me put my feet back on the ground. You took my focus away from death so that I could concentrate on life.
If there was anyone I knew who had looked death in the face and decided it was nothing to be worried about, it was you, my friend.
But I can't say that makes this feel any better. Life without you.
When we first started talking, two or so years ago now, I instantly liked you. I had a crush, too, for a bit. But the both of us were going through hard times. I had decided not to kill myself and was looking for meaning in life, trying to salvage my existence. You were still deep into hard drugs and, to use your own words, burning bridges. So I was happy to just lean on you, and let you lean on me, and leave notions of anything beyond friendship at the door. Survival. We just had to focus on survival.
Even two separate pains are made easier when they are shared.
And survive we did. I turned my life around and so did you. And you went through so much more than I could have handled. And somehow, even during your dark days, your inner light just shined through. There was just so much life in you that it was infectious.
Did you know? Even when I felt like the most worthless person, hopeless in my desolation and feeling so utterly alone, to talk to you would make me smile. Even when you were sad, too. You made me feel less alone.
You meant, and continue to mean, so much to me. You brought light into my life where I felt there was none. You encouraged me in my search for meaning, and applauded me when I found it. And I was likewise so, so happy for you as your life turned around. A new home. A new job, one with so many interesting stories, which I know you loved to tell. So many friends who loved you so much. And beautiful hair and sassy goddamn boots. Your life was becoming as beautiful as you.
I can only hope I meant even a fraction to you that you did to me. I am devastated without you. The world is greyer, and less friendly somehow.
You told me our road trip was your happiest memory. I got so flustered, at the time, I could hardly believe it. Your life was so extraordinary, I was honored to even be a footnote in it. And now, no matter how hard I imagine it, I can't wake up in our tent. Drenched in sweat with the thumping of a distant drum kit testing the mics, at the bright and early time of 2PM. It feels so real and so recent and yet it slips through my fingers the harder I try. I want to wake up there because you were there.
But I can't. I'm left with this reality without you in it. And I suppose I have to make do. But god, does it suck. I don't want to.
You'd want me to, I know. You always encouraged me to live my life to the fullest. That was one of the things I loved about you. You loved life and you loved seeing people live it, even and especially if yours wasn't going so great.
You had so much love. So much patience. You would fight with people and turn around and talk to them like they were a friend. So many people have reached out to me in your absence to tell me how much they loved you, too. And they all say the same. Your heart had room for everyone in it. You didn't care how they saw themselves or what they'd done in past; you saw the light in them all and you brought it out in everyone.
I feel robbed, honestly. Everyone should. Whatever missteps you made in your past, you more than made up for them. You were a force for good in so many of our lives.
I'll miss the hell out of you. I'll miss sharing music that excited us. I'll miss laughing at dirty jokes. I'll miss talking about our characters and their fucked up little lives, and writing stories together. I'll miss the feeling of elation I got when I had a message from you. I'll miss your face, your smile, your lilting voice.
You made my life better, my friend. Even in two short years, which was not nearly enough time. Not nearly enough at all. But you made the most of the time you had. You did so much living in 23 years. I was excited to see what you would've done with 60 more.
I love you, Red. I love you and miss you and I will carry you in my heart until I join you in that space between spaces.
Goodbye, my friend.
shattered
Posted 10 years agoI don't know what to say. I really don't. I'm in shock. I feel sick. I've cried myself a headache.
was one of the most beautiful people I'd ever had the pleasure to meet. She was certainly the most unique. The world is poorer for her loss. And my heart is shattered.
I don't want to say goodbye, but I'm not given a choice.
Goodbye, dear friend. I'm gonna miss you. I already miss you. I am so proud and privileged to call you friend.
You were gold and diamonds, all the way. Gold and diamonds.

I don't want to say goodbye, but I'm not given a choice.
Goodbye, dear friend. I'm gonna miss you. I already miss you. I am so proud and privileged to call you friend.
You were gold and diamonds, all the way. Gold and diamonds.
General Health Update
Posted 10 years agoJust throwin' this out there, for the sake of not being completely dead online for no reason.
Art output has been kinda... nil, for the past couple of weeks. I've been inexplicably exhausted, all day, for weeks now. Finally had enough and went to the doctor, suspecting I was low on Vitamin D (since I avoid the sun like the plague.)
Turns out that not only am I low on vitamin D, I have mononucleosis! Whee. Haha oh god.
So, art's probably gonna be slow for a while. Recovering from low vitamin D takes months, and so does recovering from mono. Thankfully I don't have anybody in my queue; just a belated birthday piece for my boyfriend and he's gotten to see firsthand how useless and miserable I am lately.
That said I probably won't be doing anything but personal art for a while (whenever I have the strength to), at least until I feel better.
Art output has been kinda... nil, for the past couple of weeks. I've been inexplicably exhausted, all day, for weeks now. Finally had enough and went to the doctor, suspecting I was low on Vitamin D (since I avoid the sun like the plague.)
Turns out that not only am I low on vitamin D, I have mononucleosis! Whee. Haha oh god.
So, art's probably gonna be slow for a while. Recovering from low vitamin D takes months, and so does recovering from mono. Thankfully I don't have anybody in my queue; just a belated birthday piece for my boyfriend and he's gotten to see firsthand how useless and miserable I am lately.
That said I probably won't be doing anything but personal art for a while (whenever I have the strength to), at least until I feel better.
SFW / NSFW in the same place?
Posted 10 years agoHey all! I'm not dead, just been busy with road trip things and GETTING THE FLU, apparently. But I have a question!
Do you prefer to see an artist's work all in one place (SFW and NSFW alike) or do you prefer it if they have a SFW account and a NSFW alt account? My thought has previously been that anyone who doesn't want to see NSFW will have their settings set accordingly, but I could be entirely wrong! So I figured I'd ask.
I do have an alt account in place for when I start drawing more fetishy stuff, as I assume people who like regular ol' sexy animal people aren't necessarily looking for a feed full of less conventional kinks. Is that separate enough?
What are your thoughts, either as artists yourselves or as watchers?
Do you prefer to see an artist's work all in one place (SFW and NSFW alike) or do you prefer it if they have a SFW account and a NSFW alt account? My thought has previously been that anyone who doesn't want to see NSFW will have their settings set accordingly, but I could be entirely wrong! So I figured I'd ask.
I do have an alt account in place for when I start drawing more fetishy stuff, as I assume people who like regular ol' sexy animal people aren't necessarily looking for a feed full of less conventional kinks. Is that separate enough?
What are your thoughts, either as artists yourselves or as watchers?
ART MYSTERIES & Things
Posted 10 years agoFIRST MYSTERY: Manga/Clip Studio doesn't scroll the canvas with the direction arrows?! I have googled around for shortcuts and dug through the shortcuts menu but there doesn't seem to be a way to set that. Am I gonna be stuck using the scroll bars or weird hand tool if I use this program? D:
SECOND MYSTERY: Is there a difference between those "Iron/Bronze/Emerald/Whatever Artist" challenges based on the name? I get that the basic idea behind "iron artist" is drawing a certain number of things in a certain time period, but occasionally I see "Bronze Artist" and one time "Emerald Artist" and I don't know if they're different. Are they just cute names? What does it meeeeeean?!
THINGS: SSRI withdrawal sucks hardcore oh god. That's relevant to nothing, but. They want a doctor's visit before they refill my stupid prescription and he's been out of town for a couple of weeks. This sucks. :C
SECOND MYSTERY: Is there a difference between those "Iron/Bronze/Emerald/Whatever Artist" challenges based on the name? I get that the basic idea behind "iron artist" is drawing a certain number of things in a certain time period, but occasionally I see "Bronze Artist" and one time "Emerald Artist" and I don't know if they're different. Are they just cute names? What does it meeeeeean?!
THINGS: SSRI withdrawal sucks hardcore oh god. That's relevant to nothing, but. They want a doctor's visit before they refill my stupid prescription and he's been out of town for a couple of weeks. This sucks. :C
BLFC yay!
Posted 10 years agoPicked up con crud, but BLFC was great fun. Met some cool folks, played some fun games, and even managed to make it to a panel despite not being sober for most of the weekend. I also ordered a neat tail, got a cool print from Thornwolf (whose art I've been following since Yerf times), and picked up a last-day-sale tail to bring with me to festivals. (It is electric blue with tiger stripes. I think it'll be neat. Now I gotta dye my hair to match before Wakarusa/Bonnaroo!)
And the most expensive part was the flight! The hotel cost was really reasonable. I'm thinkin' next year is a go. :D
And the most expensive part was the flight! The hotel cost was really reasonable. I'm thinkin' next year is a go. :D