Well since i havent really been doing much and well havent really felt a reason for staying on im now going to close down my page... i know no one really reads this so yeah... but still if you do read these and you want to keep in contact with me shoot me a note within the next week and ill give you a way to get in contact with me. thanks for a fun ride guys

i finally got rid of the viruses plaguing my comp and NOW i can start going through the 25K+ submissions LMFAO!!!!

So I'm working on my fifth book and have been crafting a sex scene for it for the past couple of days. I need a couple sets of eyes to read the male on male action and give me some critiques. Note me if you're interested


Also the story is not a furry based story, I have meantioned furs but I still have yet to decide weather or not to fully include them in the story

So... im awesome.... i make a new friend and i fuck things up WHOOOOO! happened with my ex and my ex before that but nonetheless when i have a friend someone i can click with and talk about my hacky ideas with i take it too far and get feeling hurt. so. ive gotta redo my approach from now on so i dont piss any more people off. but the good thing i guess then is that this character we were working on is going to keep on growing and he's gonna become awesome. as a thanks to the friend. wow this sounds kinda creeperish but you know what. they were awesome convos and it gave me a good basis on where to start for rebuilding this character. So if youre reading this. no need to reply just.... thank you.

So i worked today and got told by my manager that i need to start shaving better. because i already have to shave twice a day for this bitch and its evidently my fault because my facial hair grows back during work. and then i found out my great uncle, who took over as my grandfather figure after my grandpa passed away, died today from cancer and then when i was at my parents my pet Gecko whom ive had for 9 years died in my arms..... so simply to say i hate today..... but there is some sanity left over in my mind... im going to remake one of my old sonas and make him a gecko in honor of my pet, im going to get my nose back to the grind and do what needs to be done to hone my skills in honor of my great uncle and im going to become a manager at work to put this cranky one on equal footing with me. so... i have a plan and now im gonna do it.

well it's happened and im 21.... shitty birthday with no friends... oh well... at least i have booze!

 dreamingdaemus had this on his Profile so i figured i'd do it too just for the shits and giggles



1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My hair

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
dont have one

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yes...

4. Do you plan outfits?
No

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Emotionally unstable

6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
A keychain

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
I was in a concert hall conducting my Magnum Opus and the Devil appeared as my pianist and told me my time had come. after a long theatrical debate, the music coming to its crescendo i hopped down from my pedestal and grabbed him by the collar and said "If im going down i rule as king in the domain of my choosing! I will never be the puppet of one as weak as you!"

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Nope

9. What are you craving right now?
A special someone to make love to

10. Do you floss?
nope

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Cabbage when said with a racist french accent

12. Are you emotional?
Depends on the day... Today? very much so. Usually? not much

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Every time i get pissed and that happens at least 10 times a day lately.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Both.

15. Do you like your hair?
eh its okay

16. Do you like yourself?
eh... not really

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Why the fuck not sounds fun when do i start?

18. What are you listening to right now?
M2U - Magnolia

19. Are your parents strict?
Yes, very much so

20. Would you go sky diving?
i want to but will i? i doubt it

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
yup

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Yes, Park tae-Hwan of the South Korean Olympic Team... that counts right?

23. Do you rent movies often?
too poor

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
Nope

25. How many countries have you visited?
2, my homeland (Iceland) and The USA where i live

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Nope

27. Ever been on a train?
Yup

28. Brown or white eggs?
i dont like eggs

29. Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes

30. Do you use chap stick?
nope

31. Do you own a gun?
No

32. Can you use chop sticks?
Yep got good at it when i lived with one of my best friends who is Cambodian and that's all we ever ate with

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Myself

34. Are you too forgiving?
i've been told i am

35. Ever been in love?
Yes….

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow (or the next soonest week day)?
Rping Kingdom Hearts with me after work and before work

37. Ever have cream puffs?
yup

38. Last time you cried?
now

39. What was the last question you asked?
What the fuck is wrong with me?

40. Favorite time of the year?
Winter... because the weather matches how i feel most of the time

41. Do you have any tattoos?
No but i want a few

42. Are you sarcastic?
is the pope jewish?

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
nope

44. Ever walked into a wall?
at least five times a day at work

45. Favorite color(s)?
Sapphire blue

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes all of them deserved it

47. Is your hair curly?
whenits long enough yes

48. What was the last CD you bought?
Five Finger Death Punch's Wrong Side of heaven and the Righteous side of Hell part 1

49. Do looks matter?
they are a plus

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
i have before... im too forgiving

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
Parents take care of it

52. Do you like your life right now?
Nope... i want it to burn in the pits of hell and redo the last 2 years

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
every night, it;s my computer monitor... 32" of awesome and i use it to play my music while i sleep

54. Can you handle the truth?
Yup

55. Do you have good vision?
I need glasses lol

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Yes… yes I do very much so... lets leave it at that

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
at least once a week... my grandma has called me every sunday for the past 2 years

58. The last person you held hands with?
John......

59. What are you wearing?
nothing

60.What is your favorite animal?
idk... there are sooooo many to chose from

61. Where was your favorite picture taken at?
I don’t like my picture being taken

62. Can you hula hoop?
nope... nor can i skip

63. Do you have a job?
Taco Bell

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
uhm.... a game on my Ipod

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yup and ive crawled out of them too... had to sneak out of the house at night to hang out with friends... Strict parents you know how they are...

Well idk if its just the fact i didnt have a single day of my new job off for the first 2 weeks until today (technically yesterday but since im still awake and havent slept yet, you get the point) or if its just been stress with having a new job and making sure im doing my best OR if because of the fact that i found out i am alergic to 90% of the Menue at my job. for those who dont know i just got a job working at Taco Bell... not my first choice but it will hopefully pay the bills.... idk yet. well i usually work the night/closing shift and the other night i was making my dinner and i ate it and i was fine for the first half hour, then 1AM came around and my throat gfot kinda itchy. i figured iut was just the fact that spring is almost here in Utah and im just starting to get that little tickle so i just drink a bunch of soda while im cleaning, you know like you do when you have no idea what the hell you could be alergic to because the only remaining member of your birthfamily was killed a few months ago and you never got to meet your birthdad and yeah... story for another time.

so im cleaning and its starting to get hard to breath and i figured: well we are cleaning stuff and there are some fumes from the cleaning supplies we use that could be it, i'll just drink more soda and chew on some ice. then at the time we were clocking out it was insanely hard for me to talk and i just nodded and drove home, with my extra-large soda with ice. on my way home i noticed my throat was starting to swell and close up.... i think i should have gotten like 6 tickets for how dangerous and fast i was driving to get home in 5 minutes. well the gods were on my side..... for once and i got home without any accidents. i rush inside to the bathroom and get a look at my face.... i was swollen like a motherfucker... it was bad. but evidently im not allergic, to whatever it was that set me off, enough to send me into full anaphylactic shock but i wasnt going to take any chances and i took benedrill and waited for the swelling to go down and stayed up all night. i had to work the next day at like 4 pm and i finally let myself fall asleep at about 1PM and then got up at 2 to get ready for work. all in all it was a bad day but i did find out something funny, my coworkers all thought i was corporate because my old neighbor who helped me get the job is and it was like a game of telephone. and there was this one manager i really dont like, within the first 5 minutes he did like 15 things that made my shitlist. and i told all my coworkers that he was not to know i wasnt corporate.

there is a difference between having power and being a leader, and this gentleman was not a leader. i have never been talked down to more in my life... and people i worked at walmart for a year and a half... enough said. and with me i dont just give out my respect, you have to fucking earn it and this guy i was going to make sweat, and i still am. as a manager your job is to help the new people grow not make them feel like shit.... but yes enough of that rant...

ONTO THE NEXT RANT-ish THING


Im going nuts... i need advice people. im trying to balance 80-million things at once and i dont know what or where needs my attention most

ive got an art skill to develope
a story i am working on for someone in the fandom to get back to
a music ability to rework
a new book to write
a lover to help
a master to console
and court shit to finish up and take care of

so many fucking things but my brain wants to do them all at once but i cant and then i put them all off and at least one of these will have consequences that could ruin me for the next 10 years.

so people... Insanity has entered this room and its name is Þórnjáll Steinólfsson... or if you want just call me Thorn... but i am seeking the advice of all those who watch me.... please help guys i dont know what to do and its driving me nuts.

Ive seen a few journals with this and i feel strongly about letting people know about it and so here it is

http://artists-beware.livejournal.com/739490.html


it made me sick to my stomach that someone would do this. so to all my friends and loved ones, dont fall for this kind of shit from ANYONE

y well technically one month and one day but for the sake of my brain im rounding it down.... in basically one month i turn 21 and well it'll be D-day. if i dont get a few certain things paid off before then i'll have to go through hell for the next ten years. to put it easilly ive got a few skeletons in my closet that have been casuing me problems for the past couple years. now to add on the fact that my Uber-mormon dad and i share the same birthday; 33 years, 2 hours and 27 seconds apart; it sucks. not to mention i have a fuck ton of issues with my family because of said skeletons... and i'll have no one to go party and get drunk with on my birthday when i can finally do it legally because all my close by friends are dead. i made a promise after the fourth funeral in 3 months that i will never attend another funeral in my life... not even my own. they will burry an empty casket and only the few close friends i have left at that time will cremate me and scatter my ashes without any form of ceremony. eh..... i know its whiny mood for me today.... i hope it changes by the time i turn 21.....

the person just got fucked over by a roomie like i had happen if you guys can help please do thanks

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:39084574

SO!!!!! i have an idea but i want poeple's advice on it. i have a complete love and adoration for music, i will listen to trailer music and soundtracks to games and moves before i would listen to anything else HELL im listening to 'Survive the Game' by Immediate Music right now...... IM SO FRACKING PUUUUUUUMPED!!! well one thing almost every character i portray has in common is theat they are all musically gifted and one of my biggest dreams is to conduct a symphonic orchestra. and o i got the idea that i would do an art piece for it.... is that something you guys would like to see???????????????????

i have spent most of the day and long into tonight devising and creating the back-story to my new (short)story series 'Chronicles of the Divide'! and at long last i have finally figure out the formula of strength of the main family: The Runebreaker Family!!!! it has been right in front of my face this entire time and now i have DONE IT!!!!! i am so pumped that even though i know i should be asleep by and so i can be ready for my first day of work in the morning that i cant sleep!!!!! I have cracked the formula of my own mind once again! it was a pain in the ass and it happens multiple times that i need to decode the central algorithm that dictates my every move and mood and now i have done it and my muse moves freely!!!!!! i think it might be time to introduce Thorn Runebreaker... my true Sona to FA and let him be seen..... this will be interesting...... at long last that for which i have been seeking and worrying over for the past 2 years has been found and i know happiness once again and credit, in no small part, goes to my new mate..... he has been an inspiration to me and has help keep me sane while i have struggled with the shittiness of life.

So with out further ADO!!! i welcome you all into the mind and realm of Terra-Fi. please keep an eye out for the stories i will do and hopefully some of the art for it as well that i will either draw or have commissioned.....




on my mental to do list:
Figure out owners of

Beta
Gamma
Epsilon
Zeta
Pi
Sigma
Phi and
Psi

This Journal really goes out to those who need it. It is in your own heart to know if you need this or not. If you feel you don’t need it then don’t worry about it but if you feel you need it then please let this message in. and please if you feel the need please spread this around. This first section of which I am going to say WILL be based on a talk I heard from one of the leaders of the LDS Church. I grew up Mormon, if you have a problem with that then that is your issue. I personally believe in many Gods but I also believe in a head God… the main God in Christian beliefs so without further ado here we go….

“God has given again in these latter days the truth about where we came from, why we are here and where we are going. Much of the confusion we face in this life comes from not understanding who we are. One of the most beloved story tellers of all time was the Danish writer Hans Christian Andersen. In one of his stories “The Ugly Duckling” a mother duck discovers that one of her newly hatched chicks is unusually large and very ugly. The other ducklings cannot leave the ugly child along and punish him mercilessly. The ugly duckling decides it would be better for everyone if he left and so he ran away. Then one day he sees flying overhead a flock of majestic birds, he takes flight and follows them to a beautiful lake. The ugly duckling looks into the water and sees the reflection of a magnificent swan. The ugly duckling realizes that the reflection is hit own. He has discovered who he really is.

Think of where you come from, you are sons and daughters of the greatest most glorious being in the universe. He loves you with an infinite love; he wants the best for you. This knowledge changes everything. It changes your present, it can change your future; and it can change the world. If we only understood who we are and what is in store for us, our hearts would overflow with such gratitude and happiness that it would enlighten even the darkest sorrows with the light and love of God. Of course there will be always voices telling you that you are foolish to believe that you are swans, insisting that you are but ugly ducklings and that you can’t expect to become anything else. But you know better, you are no ordinary beings. You are glorious and eternal. I plead with you: just look into the water and see your true reflection.

It is my prayer and Blessing that when you look at your reflection you will be able to see beyond imperfections and self-doubts and recognize who you truly are: glorious sons and daughters of All Mighty God. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”
‘Our True Identity’
-Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Councilor in the Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

I hate bringing religion into things because of the problems it causes amongst friends and families. But that aside he brings to light many things. If you take the situation of god out and place in your own religious preferences then I think if fits everyone. But I am a God fearing man and I choose to accept this as the truth. So yes….. The point of all of this is simple: I was speaking with someone dear to me yesterday and we spoke about insecurities and how they think they are ugly. So I am going to speak about myself here as an example of recognizing my true value.

My name is Jacob, I'm soon to be 21 in a month and I was born in Reykjavik, Iceland. I was adopted at age five into the US by two loving parents. I grew up a nerd and a dork. I was always a bigger kid; I was quite the chunker in elementary school and got even bigger by 9th grade. I weighed about 270 when I was 12. Self-confidence was in short supply when I grew up. I exercised enough to drop some weight to be healthier so I wouldn’t strain my bad lungs. My dad is a civil engineer and smarter than I am. My brother and cousin always called me a waste of height because I had the perfect body for a jock but not only did I not work out I didn’t play sports, HELL I hate them. I was a pianist, a musician…. An artist. I used to be able to play piano and Tuba… perfect fit for a fat kid lol

When I was 14 I was hit by a car and it nearly destroyed my right hand, shattering my wrist and breaking my right leg in 6 spots. And not only that but it messed up my back something fierce too. When winter hits and rainy days I ache something awful and I have to use a cane to get around. My music skills went downhill fast, meaning the only thing I could pride myself at disappeared.

Now we enter the high school years where I was starving so much for attention and acceptance that I would suck up to the popular kids and do their homework based on false promises and my grades suffered for it. I barely graduated high school and those who I viewed as my ‘betters’ graduated with honors because of the work I did for them. At 16 I was diagnosed with lung cancer and swine flu at the same time. The cancer was caused by smoking since I was 8 and a dime sized spot was found on my right lung and I went through the sickening treatments for it until I kicked it. The strain on my body made me hurt more and gave me the excuse for being lazy more.

Now I am 20 almost 21 and I don’t have the athletic body I want or the twink/femboi body I wish I had for my master. I was diagnosed with lung cancer again 2 years ago and I still feel the effects of the treatment now. I have buried 3 of my friends since November of last year and last December I found out my birth father fell in battle overseas in defense of his country and that his last wish was to find me. I was met by a member of my birth country to give me the news and to offer their condolences. I have had a life full of pain and sadness and discomfort. On 3 occasions in my life I figured I should just end it all and attempted suicide because I didn’t see an end in sight to my problems. But I stand here before you to offer my advice. For even though life can suck and be a bitch and even when you see no end in sight there still is HOPE.

I am not perfect; I am not the best artist or the best writer. I have Autism and you know what? I'm damn fucking proud of it. I am GAY and I accept it. I care about those around me and I will stop at nothing to help. I have found over the years that no matter how bad life got that it was never as bad as it could be.

I spent so long saving pieces from people I watched as a constant torment of I wasn’t good enough but now with each piece I save and look at all I see is the raw potential for me to become better. It’s a lesson, it’s a test.

So simply I'm here to tell you that you are AWESOME! You are PERFECT! I may not know you; I may never meet you, hold you, hug you, laugh with you, cry with you or kiss you. But I want you to know that I Love you. And no matter what I am always here because I understand how hard life can be. But I will never say ‘I know how you feel’ because I don’t. But I have a very good guess. I will ALWAYS be here to help you shoulder you pain, to help you walk when you feel you can’t take another step, to help carry your burdens when they become too heavy.

Have faith in yourself, doors close for a reason. That reason is that they close so others can open up. Keep moving forward. You want that amazing body? Go for it. You want that art skill? Practice, practice, practice. You want love? Go out and steal the heart of the person you love and NEVER let anyone tell you that you are not good enough. Because those who tell you that are selling something. The only one who can make you feel bad is yourself, so I beg you, don’t let yourself talk you into it.

So I end this rambling with 2 simple quotes from my best friend who passed away November 13th
“Life is never as good as it should be, but it’s never as bad as it could be.”
“When life gives you lemons make orange juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.”
-“Kaitlin (Lance) Keeney 4/16/1993 - 11/13/2013

so i was in a YCH auction and had the winning bid, the auction ends on moonday so i felt pretty great. it was gonna only be $40. nothing could have or should have gone wrong.... except shit did go wrong. ive got a 2 year old, $5000 Medical bill ive been paying off. well i missed the last payment because ive been out of a job and had no money. so i went and donated plasma because i figured "What he hell i'll have money for an auction Commission and hey i might win it." so i had $60 in my account ready to pay to the artist. well the Collection agency took the money i owed them from my account and that over drafted me $30 well in my bank an over draft charge is $20 so now im $50 in the hole and i had to make a fool of myself to the artist.

AND IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH!

I have been working on a special art piece for my Brother  del3bcl3 well my computer is old as shit and i plugged in my ipod to put some songs on it and evidently one of my USB ports is FUCKED TO SHIT and made the internet and all my programs crash including Photoshop. the sudden crash corrupted the file and destroyed a week's worth of work. im getting sick of life shitting on me and mocking me.

On the plus side I've got a Job interview today and a possible other few jobs that may work out that im hoping for. so here is hoping life doesnt fuck me over again and i can have a job again and start making some money. i need to get back into college and get my associates in art or just take some art classes in general. im sick of being mediocre. I'm sick of being a failure. I'm sick of being..... in this fucking rut ive been in for the past 2 years.... im done...


Okay rant over for now.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5536727/
I'm spreading the word for this gal, too.
She really needs help, so I'm mentioning this.
If you can't help her, spread the word.


thanks guys

this has been an interesting set of events. ive kinda been out of a job yet had a job at the same time. i do snow removal but i live in Utah so our winters are very unreliable lol so since december when i started ive only made about barely $700. idk if im just being lazy but i really dont want to work... yet at the same time i need money... and i spend a lot of my day i just spend watching anime at home and playing games when i could at least be writing or doing art or hell even looking for another job. idk whats wrong with me if there is anything wrong at all. is it the fear of going through 6 jobs in a year again like last year? is it the fear of failure? is it just the fear of myself? idk... but it keeps me up all night and then i sleep the day away like some bum. idk what to do anymore.... sleeping makes me hurt, eating makes me sick and the though of working even tho it would be a wonderful reprieve from this maddening life style ive been leading the last few months i just dont know what to do anymore. it seems like the skills i learned in my tech class in highschool and all these industry certifications: IC3/GS3 Adobe Photoshop CS3 and CS5 and Flash CS5 mean nothing anymore..... hell im even an Eagle Scout.... all of these things were obtained on the assurance that they would help me out in life and help me obtain good jobs.... and yet nothing has happened.... its like staring at a Piano all over again.

I used to be an excellent Pianist but an accident when i was younger took that pleasure from me. i hear these songs in my head and when i see a piano they demand to be played but my right hand doesnt work the way it should anymore and so the Piano mocks my inability to play properly. its maddening. that bastard took my one joy in this world from me and now i suffer the maddening pain of not bringing myself the joy and accomplishment that i once could. i can make words flow onto a page and create worlds like that of a God.... not that i think myself as much. i am no divine being and i couldnt handle the responsibility of such anyway. but lately it seems like i cannot finish anything i start well no it doesnt seem that way... it is that way. the Muse within me burns brightly and begins to come forth for an instant then dies off like that of autumn into winter. it feels so cold now..... like my life is withering away into meaningless nothing.... it scares me..... to be nothing.......

have the Gods forsaken me?
Odin is this what you wanted for your son?
Loki, wasnt i fun enough?
What about you Hades? Wasnt i good enough?
Hephaestus didnt i honor you by sticking to everything i set my hands on?
Eros.... didnt i show my purity and servitude when i made sure there was room in my heart for everyone but myself?

Yes i know those gods are from 2 different Pagan cultures but im half Itallian and half Icelandic and the Roman names do not fit their stolen Greek Counterparts well enough so i will not show them dishonor by using their other names heh....

God if my birthdad could see me now.... im sure he would be so disappointing......

may you rest in peace Ofursti Steinolf Ævarsson i wish we could have met once before you passed. you did your job well daddy.......

Well, as some people know I'm a very... Safe fur... If that makes sense lol well hilariously enough my big sis talked me into doing a interesting little thing kind of as a social experiment on my end. As we know I'm not big on drugs well she had me try a fun little one that starts with the fifth letter of the English alfabet lol. Well I see why raves are so much fun now lol. Tho we just stayed in the basement and did light shows with flashy light glove things lol... It was cool not something I would do all the time but in a safe environment it's fun to do. Helps me loosen up and talk more... Tho I wish I had someone to cuddle with right now tho lol. But yeah lol I've broken my good Mormon boy shell and right now I kinda don't give a fuck. Lol but that all aside, I've gotten ideas for art pieces hopefully I can just muster up the skill to make them look good. Here's hoping I can get my wonderful compy working to do so.

Alrighties, so its come down to i'm working on getting better at my art lol, arent we all. I need advice and help on doing my line art. ive got really choppy lines which make it a pain in the ass to try and color later. if anyone has any ideas and tips let me know. thanks guys.