It's decision time for me.

Student loans have come and with this job I have would have me in the red along with no outcomes from any of the occupations I have applied to, I have to really consider to and start accepting commissions. Either that or hope for a miracle interview, which I doubt is going to happen. So, once I get a grip on which payment I want and the price points in, I will start accepting.

I am doing ok, but that will change sooner or later, for better or worse.

I'll give some to you... if you want.

... at what you do. It's something that anyone would be happy to learn. Yet there is work to do, and we all understand that because without a goal, why are we in this place?

I myself have finally found that moment of truth and will now shut up about downing myself, I just do not know for how long though, hahaha!! You all have a great weekend. :]

Well I have actually done it. First I would like to thank my room-in buddies and for putting up with me. I really appreciate the hospitality! The William Penn really reminded me of my job at the Pfister both being old hotels. I also think that the NE ohio and the West Penn area is beautiful including the city of Pittsburgh. Now I know a bit of why people compare Milwaukee to it potentially. The trip has me wanting to travel and wander.

The con itself, I am still on the fence about. I did not have the chance to sell because of the inability of my part to ask, but I did get to talk to a lot of folks, trade sketches and made 2 "cool kid" tables at the hangout spot. Hey it's a nice trade off in the long run. The other elements of the con made being there interesting, but I am glad that I am back at base with new energy and renewed optimism about myself and others. I do not know if I can go to any convention anytime soon because of the situation I am in, but I am preetty glad I used the small window I have to take it.

I am going.

Now for meme time.

where are you staying?
Somewhere, I don't know just yet. I got to see what options I have.

What day are you getting there?
I'll probably be there Friday Afternoon sometime.

Who will you be with?
I'll come alone. I'll hang out with various people who want to hang out with me.

Do you do free art?
Only if you got your own sketchbook.

Do you do trades?
It depends on the person and if I do not get a table.

Do you do commissions?
I will be doing commissions for the first time ever. I'll bring a half letter size and the usual 11x14 size papers. Pencils, Color Pencils and Markers. If I grab an artist table, of course.

What is your gender?
How old are you?

I'M A MAN!! I'M 28!!

Can I talk to you?
Well yeah. I am boring to talk to though due to being a classic introvert.

Can I touch you?
I am up for handshakes and hugs, but not much else.

Can I hang out with you?
Well yeah. As I said, I am a pretty boring fellow in real life.

How can I find you?
If you see a maroon jacket and a black/white digital camouflage backpack, that is me.

Can I buy you drinks?
only if i see them made first! XD no. seriously. i know far too many people who have been roofied at these things. but hell yeah, we can go out drinking.

Have you ever got that feeling that you have failed? Really failed in directing your life?

I ask that because I have that feeling. Fear and procrastination through the cold months of the winters have ruined the chance of a smooth transition from student to a professional in my field. This last month when a bunch of events happened; a graduation for my mother, a funeral for my uncle, a vacation for myself and a reacquaintance with my family among other smaller events, I reflected upon myself and concluded that it is time to make a change, because the ststus quo is not the answer, it will be the toxic bile that I take every day.

I intend to start commissions as a last resort, putting hope into pursuing a start in the animation field, or getting into either the Gnomon School, The Guildhall, or some other school in order to be better prepared to go into those professions. I cannot go to much any cinvention because of my silent demeanor, which comes to the next question.

Is silence really Golden, or just gold plated?

After about six years of typing little on these boards, yet trying to be thoughtful with those little words, my intuition tells me that the latter is true. What makes me laugh is that the silence people talk about it's great makes you forgotten along the noise.

People talk a good game, but their actions do not follow suit. Hell, I even said to a few folks who preside in fur affinity "Don't forget all of us at the abyss!". Some would be offended by it, but sure as shit, new replaces old and well this is the old hat, dude.

(TL;DR)

I don't know what to say anymore. I am making a change in my life. People can be real shallow.

I got to get back to whatever my life is.

Really. I want to meme on mayday!!

GOTCHA!!

Seriously, I am not doing requests. I admit that there will be a rush that I will not be ready for so, yeah.

There might be a chance that you all can see me at Anthrocon. I cannot guarantee it, mostly because of the time this convention falls on (wedding season at my job, maybe a VIP one), but being there has a fighter's chance. If I get there, I will engage on an artist's table offering commissions. Prices will be high, because I do not like high volume.

Other than that notion, I am just here doing stuff. Haha!!

I really had some awesome renditions of urizu, raccoon superheroes and even one of that ugly witch parody! I did not expect people willing to trade and take their time working on my silly little characters! I thank you all who participated with the greatest of sincerity!

You all are excellent, don't forget that!!

I got not bad drawing skills and some time... for 6 more within 2 weeks...

I would be a lot happier if I made someone happy.

If you think you cannot think that for whatever reason that you cannot give a fair trade, I can barter... If you are too late, I am doing the same in april on devart. I have 6 slots.

I guess I would either like in return are:

urizu
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5302934
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5076405/

one of the raccoon superheroes

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4129606/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4117859/

or anything, really.

Oh well, who would like to trade with my gloomy self?

(6 left)

I wonder how famous brutus is here...

one convention trip. I do not exactly know which one, so I am working on that... really not for myself, but for whomever wants to actually see my ugly mug draw some mediocre stuff. Oh well.

Other than that, I acquired an intuos 4 and trying to get the feel of it, hating the job, getting ideas together and just plain existing in Milwaukee with not a lot of drama.

Thanks for reading this!

Heck it was a nice year. I got the main goal I seek, along with some others that I did not think I could get. The only thing I would like to do is to keep going with this. I might have some goofy new ideas along with some old goofy ones I might develop into workable concepts. I guess I am not much of a convention guy because I do not have the cash to enjoy anything.

May you all have a wonderful end of the Gregorian year, and a shiny brave new one.

And that's that for my undergraduate life. Worked like hell and learned a few things while in the quest for it, I relaxed for a bit and now it's time to attempt to get something for it taking what I can get, which isn't that much. Oh well. Other than that, it's just a rut and a routine.

I hope you all have a good time this time of year.

I might as well try it.

1. What are elements of your style?
Right now, I tend to make my drawings out of gestures, circles and a line of action with as little reference as I can get away with. I try to find new ways for myself to make illusions of light, weight and volume with my drawings every time I try and draw. I tend to try and keep the graffiti influence which is now kind of dim within my writing such as the elements beside the character and my penmanship. Coloring with marker is my best option at the moment since I have developed effects that most people don't bother making, but I am trying to duplicate that in digital media.

2. Have you had formal training? (e.g., college, personal instructor, etc.)
Yes. At the time I am about 3 weeks from a BFA in Illustration with a near minor in Animation.

3. Was it useful or did you find it better to learn on your own?
I found it pretty useful. I did learn a few things from the teachers, which is all I can ask for, really. I learned on the side anyways so it's a double whammy.

4. What are your tools of the trade?
a 0.5 mm and a 0.9 mm mechanical pencil.
coloured pencils
markers
wacom bamboo fun tablet (looking to upgrade)
Photoshop CS4
Painter 10
Illustrator

5. Would you, or do you work on art for a living?
I would work for a living, or it would be a waste of talent. I am preparing to do so at the moment.

6. Do you know another artist who would fill this out?
It's their choice.

Well, today was a good day. Turned 28 today. At least I can say that I lived to this age when there were many folks who didn't get to see it. So, there is something that I am thankful of this year. :) Good luck out there fellow citizens of this asylum of fur affinity. May your journey lead you to prosperity and happiness.

I have a bit of a problem with my job's schedule. Now me being there is going to hinge on how much work I can get done tomorrow on limited sleep... again. Meh, I guess it's not what it was made to be, I guess. :/

I will attend one of the days. More likely Saturday or Sunday. I might go for commissions there which will be the only time I will even think about doing them. So... yeah.

I don't know what to say that would not be negative about having this account on this website for a presidential term. I guess sheer apathy of whatever happens here is to be of some credit of me staying. A few people have a hand at this too, so thanks. You know who you are. :]

What I have been doing is basically working. Working at the job, at school, and at trying to make it in the real world. The usual for me.

I just felt compelled to repost this here. Even though I quelled down the nihilist attitude I was saddled with, it is still a problem. So I reposted this old deviantart journal from two years ago because I am lazy..

[i]
Well.

I want to apologize for what I say about myself and my work. It's basically everywhere and I just want to say that I am sorry about it.

It's a distance maker, and truthfully, i didn't think that playing down one self would be as destructive as puffing one self up as with some of these guys do out here.

I could make the excuse that the bashing is because of my briggs-meyer type (INTP) but it would be fairly inaccurate and really shallow. It is actually a product of what life has thrown at me from directly in my immediate family, and the early stages of life.

You see I had this distrust of people's words ever since I was a kid. Spawned from a lot of broken promises that my father had made. Once I made my mother cry because I had lied to her when I was 12 ... that made me as honest as I can be today. That's the reason I go self criticizing my own work on most compliments. The distrust of what people say cause, if you cannot trust your father when he says something, how much faith can be put on the word of a stranger?

The mood will most likely change if I had found out that it is the truth, or if I know that the sayer does tell the truth.

Like for example, if some random person says "You deserve a DD!" and it actually happens, then i would believe a lot more of what is typed. "Believe it when I see it" ... pretty much is my response to a lot of things.

Also, I used to be the opposite of what I am. I mean I used to be like my brother is now (happy birthday, mister man). Pretty arrogant. A lot of what I learned after I was 10 has really kept me not only on the ground, but somewhat underground as far as ego is concerned. During the time, I realized that I have to be the biggest pusher of myself cause, really no one is going to do it for me.

Hopefully I have explained myself that you have some sort of understanding of who I am on the inside, and what I have gone through to be part of the person that I am.

I'll be sure to answer any questions to the best of my ability... even personal ones.

Well, I guess I won't get that bachelor's degree on the 9th. Dropped a class that I was about to fail. I'm not mad at anyone but myself, because I did not do the written work. Oh well, it's not like I failed on anything before, but it was a first on giving up at a school course. Bah.

I'm doing fine, otherwise. I need to start in making up a new portfolio, redrawing castle 1 and continuing it. Oh well.

I went to commencement yesterday, it was a good experience for me. It was a lot better than high school when I was on the field where I worked half the time.


I still have 7 credits left until I am finished, with this work ethic that has been acquired along the years, July 9 should be the end of the road... so I shall repeat this, I am not going to Pittsburgh. The Pirates are better this year, but they still are not good enough for me to travel for.

I would have news about what I am going to do to sort out professional work from fan art, gift art and such, but furries don't care so I am going to keep it to myself.

Looks like it actually may happen. I just have a few things to do, and i will march on the 15th. There are still classes which I will have to complete ending July 9, so if people start that anthrocon shiz, expect this:

"Bachelor's Degree > Anthrocon"

Eh, oh well, who cares.

It seems that the home stretch is about to be visible as far as this quest to gain a bachelor's degree is concerned, yet to tell the truth, I feel that I do not deserve it. That is another story all together, but the near final leg starts tuesday with a much needed rest in the past.

A couple of sketches on tuesday, then there will be no real guess in when you get to see any of my wretched items from my twisted imagination next. Maybe this site would be better off without it anyways.


You all have a wonderful time fore, you shall have it better than I.