I wanted to write this journal to be able to share with folks my negative experiences with HearthFox and why I warn people about them. Hearthfox is a toxic individual who on multiple occasions has knowingly made false accusations or actions against furries and therians.
This is not a comprehensive deep dive into everything they've done. This is just a list of situations I know off the top of my head. As I do not believe in unfounded accusations, I will provide as much detail and supporting evidence as I can.

HearthFox has previously gone by the names Shonsu, Ash Fox, and DangerFox. They are used here as appropriate for the time period.
Out of respect for the victims I have redacted those identities.

October 20, 2013
On an IRC server, in DMs during a discussion of meeting with other therians at FurFright (rebranded to Furpocalypse in 2014):

[22:51] <Shonsu> Personally, I'd rather [XX] not come
[22:51] <Shonsu> He's a stalker an he's got personal boundary issues
[22:52] <Shonsu> J would probably hit [XX]. I can say this with confidence
[22:52] <Shonsu> There's a lot of torrid history
[22:53] <Shonsu> I will say that [XX] lied to some people to obtain my phone number without me knowing
[22:53] <Shonsu> And called me

During that Furfright I endeavored to keep J & Shonsu and [XX] from interacting. [XX] said they were confused at the accusations but years later was able to confirm it was a major misunderstanding on the part of J and Shonsu.

I had known [XX] since 2006 both online and irl and never had a problem with them and still consider them a good friend.

When someone makes accusations against another fur or therian I always ask for verifiable proof and ask the accused for their side of the story. It is explicitly because of this situation from 2013.


July 29, 2021
In the Crossroads Telegram chat, Ash Fox accuses another member [YY] of being a pedophile and zoophile. Claims they're dangerous and unstable. Ash Fox even creates a Telegram channel "Ash Fox Crisis Management" to discuss how [YY] hurt them and they're such a victim of [YY]. After much whining, eventually Ash Fox does admit they lied about their claims. But it's not their fault cause they "were hurt," by [YY]. Oh, and AshFox also took mushrooms.
What was the trigger that caused Ash Fox to lash about against [YY]?
They told [YY] in a DM they saw him as a father figure and wanted him to teach them shamanism. [YY] asked not to be seen in that way and to given some space. Ash Fox kept pushing and pushing, and ignoring when explicitly told to stop.

AnthroNewEngland
I am unable to confirm with exactness because HearthFox locked their Twitter and Bluesky accounts but for either ANE 2023 or ANE 2024 they claimed Staff at the convention harassed them for being therian.
https://twitter.com/TheHearthFox/st.....52149956620621 [posts locked]
HearthFox was unable to provide any specific details of what actually happened with this alleged harassment, but reading accounts from others, it's clear HearthFox was being an asshole, was called out for being an asshole, and retaliated by claiming to be the victim of persecution:

July 5, 2024 https://x.com/AshiPaws/status/1809291174286618929

July 30, 2024 https://x.com/remygryph/status/1818330812506570854
Post links to a GoogleDoc providing more details: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....w/edit?tab=t.0


July 2024 NY Furry Camping Event
I was not a direct witness to this situation. And there are some gaps due to HearthFox locking their Twitter and Bluesky accounts and deleting Telegram chats.

July 22, 2024
In the Therians of New England Telegram chat:

HearthFox, [7/22/2024 3:26 PM]
Hey does anyone know like.. Connecticut furry groups.

HearthFox, [7/22/2024 3:26 PM]
I'm trying to put a warning out about someone who assaulted me

HearthFox, [7/22/2024 5:01 PM]
Be careful around Bioswoof/Denverbou and Sniperwuff/blindeyewolf

They posted a screenshot of a chat:
Last night SniperWuff came to my campsite extremely intoxicated while I was naked and would not leave despite asking over and over very clearly. He got upset and left and came back agitated and again refused to leave. When he finally left he started screaming about leaving furry.

As HearthFox has a history of outright lying, I reached out to find if anyone was a witness to these events. These are the responses I got from multiple people:

A: We're at this camping event, Hearth was actively being a dick to other people on their own sites, the organizer, Denver/Bios, went over and told them to cut it out and unrelated had tossed a mini chainsaw that was out of fuel vaguely in their direction, Hearth over reacted and ran off claiming he was attacking them. They even called the cops.

Cops came, heard from a bunch of witnesses and told Hearth to not make a fake 911 call again or they'd be asked to leave.

In the morning, Denver walked by their site to go the bathrooms and Hearth went ballistic and again, called the cops and was asked to leave lol

They called the police and were all for them showing up until the cop explained there was no proof AND EVERYONE stated the opposite happened

Aaaand then they flipped and started being aggro with the cop, saying they shoot minorities, acab, etc


B: I would never ever do shit like that on Twitter, but bios literally did nothing. And hearth was picking fights with literally everybody they came into contact with

They wanted their site to be a clothing optional site, at a public campground

Which famously has had minors, and people not associated with the fandom that stay at the campground

I’m more upset about bios being doxed than anything. He’s a really nice guy, and did literally nothing

Hearth was the instigator in all of these instances, and then cried wolf, quite literally all throughout the night and into the morning

As much as I’m sure in their mind they were victimized, in reality they were just looking for a reason for this campout to not exist, because a few months back someone posted a photo of a furry holding a gun, and hearth took it out on everybody in there and lost their shit

Like if they’re a friend, I get it. I know bios and sniper well too (sniper I know has his list of flaws and mistakes, that he works on) and I can tell hearths got a few screws loose.

I’ve literally heard nothing good about them, and this made them look like a big fool to all attending


C: Corroboration in this July 21, 2024 Twitter post:
https://x.com/ahanuhyena/status/181.....14680042697162


Despite everything that happened I still allowed them into my Telegram chats. Up until this final incident.

September 30, 2024
Therians of New England
5:09P: HearthFox posts a screenshot showing [ZZ]'s legal name and other identifying information. Caption "This guy is a crypto scammer. Kick him"
Hearth shares screenshots of a chat with [ZZ], asking about their background and immediately accusing them of "amoral thinking" and being a "red flag," "trying to infiltrate us"

This one hit very personally. I met [ZZ] irl a few weeks earlier and got along with them. They are a very nice person and welcome into my channel.

So Hearthfox had a concern about another channel member. Did they message the channel owner (myself) or other admin with their concerns?
Nope, they had an unfounded accusation and immediately doxxed the member openly in channel. A grave violation and abuse of basic online etiquette.

When I told HearthFox this wasn't cool, their response in the channel:
Look, I'll make this to the point.
I'm profoundly disappointed in you. You've continued to back people like [YY] and let people who are amoral into your spaces. This attitude is why I started a new community. The complacency you've demonstrated for avoiding conflict even if it diminishes the quality of your community is unacceptable.
You think you can tell me to shut up? Dude, show some respect. The Therian community isn't a bunch of Cis wolf guys anymore. You have to at least pretend to care about the wellbeing of your community.
I thought you'd maybe changed or seen the error of your ways but you're sharing podcasts featuring known zoophiles and hold petty grudges over respectability.
Again, I'm profoundly disappointed in you. You can and should do better."

My concern was that they doxxed a channel member, but they used the classic abuser (and alt-right) tactic of Deflection. They vaguely mention a zoophile. No idea who they're referring to. But the entire post was trying to turn the narrative from their actions to my response.

After this, they left the chat, and a large number of their flying monkeys also left the chat, several claiming I was a "transphobe." This combined with the comment about "cis wolf guys." Despite gender had not come up at all at that point and not being relevant to the discussion.
Well, it's clear HearthFox knew they were wrong, are unwilling to admit their wrong, and again Deflected by claiming to their followers (members of a different channel HearthFox runs) they're the victim. Unlike AnthroNewEngland they can't claim I'm mean to them cause they're therian, so they pick another attribute, in this case, gender identity.

HearthFox is an unstable person who repeatedly finds some minor fault or disagreement with someone, immediately lies about that person in an open forum, and claims they're the victim when called out on their bullshit.

Here's the sad part. For a long time I considered them a friend and enjoyed spending time with them at cons. Even when they left IRC I still thought they were a cool person.

And they are a great artist. Let me rephrase. They are an exceptional artist. Their work displays emotional struggle and pathos. It is amazing. And the marionette is adorable.

But I can't disregard their victims.
Whatever claims HearthFox may make to excuse their actions and words; that they're suffering from mental illness or PTSD or had a bad day or aww shucks, just drunk and took some hallucinogens, I can't ignore the deliberate harm they have caused to people I care about and people in this community.

So fuck HearthFox. Fuck anyone who collaborates with them. Fuck any convention that invites them as Guest of Honor.
You are propping up one individual who has caused a lot of harm to this community.

Finally got my photos and videos uploaded. I know I'm a bad procrastinator. I never even wrote a con report. Well here's a quick one:
Ben and I planned an extended trip of two days so we could explore some places on the way there and back.

On the way there we visited the Appalachian Trail Museum. A cool place with artifacts and history of the trails and those who trailblazed it.
I brought a peach and a potato cause I always wanted a photo of Ben standing on the trail holding one in each paw.

We visited Centralia. Ben had been there before but it was new to me. The abandoned town looks stark and amazing. I'd recommend it for any author or artist looking for inspiration for a post-apocalyptic or ghost town vibe.

Anthrocon was great.
I got to spend time with my friend Erin, finally met her boyfriend (what is the term for a non-binary lover?) Myth Wolfe.
I attended Nighteyes Dayspring's reading for his latest book, The Blood of Life.
I spent way, way too much money in the Dealers' Room.
I spent a lot of time working the Artist Alley and ConStore and chilling with other Staff. What can I say, I'm a helpful wolf.
Chatted with Chrysmuu and helped her with a pineapple problem.
I got to try a new drink, Loganberry soda, thanks to Kokuei.
The Westin's sauna and steam room were locked, again. Very annoying.
Attended Siris Vulpecula's Alterhuman panel. I actually learned a few things. Our community has come a long way from the old AHWW days.
Got to see some new faces and some old faces.

Ben and I drove back east, visiting Penn's Cave and Wildlife Park. I'd seen the brochures for them at every rest stop and...it was worth it.
The Cave is an underground cavern and lake with a boat tour. Seriously, it was like being in the Batcave or D&D Dwarven community.
The Wildlife Park was a series of enclosures we drove through on a tour bus. Saw some wolves and foxes which is always cool.

We stopped at Bushkill Falls. A ravine with a fuckton of waterfalls. There's trails and walkways around it, kinda like The Flume in New Hampshire.
I had a nice hike but realized that if I sweat like crazy I need somewhere to hold my phone that isn't my shirt or pants pocket. Gonna get a belt pouch.

We also hit up the Boyer outlet for candy. It mostly survived the trip back, but next year I'll bring a separate cooler for the chocolate.

All in all, a great trip.

Since they aren't really furry related, I uploaded the park and hiking photos to deviantArt: link.

Another  Furcationland has come and gone. Another year of running the Registration department. Despite having more Staff, despite adding WolvenTerror as my assistant, I still barely got out of the Reg Room to enjoy the rest of the con. Well, not entirely accurate. I did get out of the room but often found myself sidetracked helping other staff or attendees. And as always, my Imposter Syndrome told me I screwed up a lot, while everyone else complimented me for avoiding LineCon. It was worth it though. Folks got to have fun and that's what's important.

It was a good year.
I got to see  thalinvien wearing his brand new Thalin fursuit.
I got to wear my wolf headdress in public. Even though the official fursuit parade was cancelled due to weather, I got to be in the unofficial "parade" (SwiftBlaze's video, I'm behind the tall gryphon) that was us walking to the ballroom for the group photo.
I got ribbons and handed them out. The Dammit, Red ones were popular.
I brought a Halloween store skeleton for some gag shots and he was popular modeling shirts in the ConStore where  Nashida gave him the apt name RunningDed.
I got to see and talk to a lot of cool folks.
My therian panel went well, though I might need to rebrand as there was less meeting and greeting as I hoped.
And I got to present Miko with a signed print of the attendees of last autumn's camping howl.
My stargazing panel was cancelled because...you won't believe this...it snowed on Saturday.

I got some photos and will be uploading them this weekend.

Back in 1999, I joined Ben on a Portable Howl. A Howl is when therians get together. Ben did Portable Howls where he'd drive to different states and meet them. This trip was cross country from New England to California and back. En route we stopped at various sightseeing spots like Meteor Crater, Las Vegas, Mt Rushmore, Devil's Tower and Bear Country USA. Ben brought a camcorder and we recorded some of the trip, including various jokes, observations and sarcasm.. It took 25 years but I finally got off my butt to edit, caption and upload the footage to YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjcAXID0htY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr431Jlu9sk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-XnyWbumRw

When I put in for time off at work for Anthrocon, I decided to ask for the entire week off and when the end of June rolled around, I was glad I did. Management was finally implementing a migration project that was poorly planned, repeatedly delayed and poorly communicated so when I finally clocked out late on Friday I was glad to not have to deal with that circus or monkeys until I returned almost two weeks later (my first day back would be the Thursday after the convention).

I enjoyed a nice weekend of relaxing, packing and planning and getting into a furry headspace. Wednesday morning I have everything ready when  eclipsethewolf arrives. We're taking his car and plan to drive straight from Maine to Pittsburgh in one day. As I've mentioned in prior con reports I dislike driving long distances alone, my mind gets "bored." Passive distractions like music or audio books don't help, I need a traveling companion to talk to. All the better if someone else is driving and I can provide conversation to help the miles pass easier. It was an enjoyable ride with Eclipse, chatting about various topics, stopping for lunch at an IHOP, and arriving in Pittsburgh around 7pm. I checked into the Westin, got my stuff stowed in the hotel room, met up with Fiddle and went to PizzaParma to get a dogbowl and chat about Furcationland. The PizzaParma is what used to be Fernandos, they took over to continue the tradition of selling the Dog Bowl Special and furry t-shirts during the Anthrocon weekend. The bowls are popular so I want to make sure to get one early before they sell out.

Thursday I get up, pick up my badge and am officially Staffing the con. My department handles both ConStore and Artist Alley and there were some big changes this year. Previously the ConStore was located in the same Hall as the Dealer's Den. This year we're located in the information desk in the west lobby, outside the exit from the Registration Hall. Last year we used this spot on Thursday for Sponsor t-shirt pickup. A way to expedite the large crowds that picked up their badges early. We liked the spot so much we took it over for this year. The Artist Alley was still in the Dealer's Den Hall and we had a small Help Desk located there. So my shifts alternated between the locations. There were pros and cons to the decision. While the info desk allowed better organization and was closer to Registration, it meant we weren't close to the Dealer's Den and all the lovely swag to buy.
I don't own a fursuit so I rarely ever visit the Headless Lounge, but this year my friend  Kalleo was put in charge of the room so I stopped by occasionally to say hi and hang out a little. She had a couple of volunteers watch the lounge at night but since they weren't Staff and didn't have access to Staff chats, I ended up being their point-of-contact to relay requests for more water or maintenance to clean up, let's say "spills," and leave it at that. I think I spent more time in the Headless Lounge this year than all my previous years combined. It was nice. I like seeing different aspects of the convention and hanging out with people.
I didn't spend all my time doing Staff related stuff. I did get to a few panels. I attended  NightEyes' reading for his latest book, Therianthropic Dreams and a panel on transformation in the fandom.
I went to the Dealer's Den, a lot. It expanded and there were more tables this year. I was determined not to miss anything and swore to pass each table at least once. And I succeeded. Sunday afternoon, on tired feet I walked the final aisle I hadn't seen and the last table was  The_Gneech's. Anthrocon wouldn't be complete without saying hi to the awesome Gneech. And then I had to dash to the ConStore for my final shift. But over the weekend I did pick up NightEyes' Therianthropic Dreams and a copy of Gnoll Tales, which I forgot to get last year. I picked up some items for friends who weren't able to attend. I probably spent more money than I should but eh, I can afford it.
I got to hang out with some pretty cool people. Some new and some I've known for a while. One evening,  Estobhan and I are chatting, realize we're hungry and head out into the humanlands for food. We end up at Primanti Bros in Market Square and remember years back when two young women who were a little tipsy, saw us wearing tails and wanted to get a picture with us. I checked my FurAffinity account and it was 2014, ten years! We of course take another picture, sadly without inebriated locals, but promise to come back to Market Square during Anthrocon 2034 for another photo.
Eventually Monday morning comes. Again, Eclipse wanted to get an early start so I had everything prepacked and a set of clothes ready so I could quickly dress and get down to the lobby. I was prepared. Except for one thing. Eclipse's car didn't have a functioning cigarette lighter or USB ports, nowhere to plug in a phone. He did let me know this in advance so before Anthrocon I bought a second powerbank to go with the one I normally have. They came in very handy on the drive down. And I completely forgot to charge them before the drive back. We stop off at a Perkins for lunch and I'm able to plug my phone and one of the powerbanks into a wall outlet to get enough of a charge to see us the rest of the way home. We also stopped at the Boyer Outlet where I again bought a hell of a lot of chocolate. Monday evening we got back to Maine and I had two more days off to rest and sort through my swag and photos before returning to work.
It was awesome, it was fun. There's stuff I wish I'd done and stuff I wish I hadn't. And I can't wait till next year.

Back on the night of Friday, May 10 the Northern Lights were visible across much of the northern US.
I took some timelapse videos of the display that night and finally got around to combining them into a single video and uploaded to YouTube. It's not much, but it is a nice reminder of how beautiful the sky was that night.
YouTubeLink

Hi! This is CinnamonRed NightBringer. I'm RunningRed's coyote side. He doesn't do memes like this so he said I could answer it! Woot.

01. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
Willy Wonka. He's a candy celebrity.

02. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Of course. I'm a courteous 'yote.

03. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
I'm a talker, definitely. But if someone needs a shoulder to cry on, I can shut my muzzle.

04. Do you take compliments well?
Oh, goddess no. I blush so easily!

05. Do you play Sudoku?
Only if I can replace the numbers with different colored candy.

06. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
I'd never be alone in the wilderness. It's where my fellow wolves, coyote, bear and hawks live.

07. What song are you listening to right now?
Erasure - Phantom Bride

08. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Yeah, was sent to a camp to learn woodcraft and socializing. I recall much awooing.

09. What was your favorite game as a kid?
Crazy Eights. You may know it by the commercial variant, Uno.

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
As long as they liked candy I'm willing to date anyone. Dating is how you learn about someone and whether you're compatible with them.

11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
Pursue me! Catch me and your reward is candy!

12. Use three words to describe yourself.
Coyote. Candy. sexgod.

13. Do any songs make you cry?
Yes. Songs evoke emotions and sometimes you want to feel sad.

14. Are you continuing your education?
Life is an education. I'm always learning something new.

15. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Yes. You point the part where the bullet comes out at the other person. Always assume there's a round in the chamber, never point the gun at someone in jest, even if you think it's empty.
Tremors and Grrl Power are good teachers on gun safety.

16. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you'd grab?
A fire extinguisher, silly.

17. How often do you read books?
All the time. I'm always reading books.

18. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
The present.

19. What is your favorite children's book?
Gene DeWeese's The Adventures of a Two-Minute Werewolf

20. What color are your eyes?
Brownish

21. How tall are you?
About 6ft. Depends on whether I'm on all fours or not. Ha

22. Where is your dream house located?
Nice suburbs, within driving distance of a local town where I can run a humble candy shop.

23. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
No. Why? Am I missing something cool? Should I go find one?

24. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Far too long. Now I'm craving spaghetti and a smol lemon dessert.

25. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
I went to the nearby woods and awooed to the full moon.

26. Do you like mustard?
Nope.

27. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
If it's candy, eat.

28. Do you look like your mom or dad?
I'm told I resemble my mom.

29. How long does it take you in the shower?
I'm a coyote covered in a floofy pelt. It takes me forever to clean and dry this fur.

30. Can you do the splits?
Yes!

31. What movie do you want to see right now?
Raiders of the Lost Ark. Indy is so dreamy.

32. What did you do for New Year's?
Refilled my Ottoman of Mystery with even more candy.

33. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
No. Kinda bored me. I've seen scarier things in the deep forests.

34. Do you own a camera phone?
Yes. I love taking photos of the new and different candies I find.

35. Was your mom a cheerleader?
Yes. She always cheered when I did something awesome as a smol pup.

36. What's the last letter of your middle name?
Can't tell. It's a secret.

37. How many hours of sleep do you get at night?
Nine

38. Do you like care bears?
Yes! They are sweet and cuddleable and shoot Skittlebeams from their bellies! I want to shoot skittlebeams!

39. What do you buy at the movies?
A movie ticket. I sneak in my snacks (usually candy). Shh, don't tell.

40. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes. You sneak up behind someone, poke their butt, then runaway.

41. Do you wear your seatbelt?
Yes. Well, it's a bandolier. It has pouches for candy.

42. What do you wear to sleep?
Special toe caps to keep my paw claws from scratching the sheets.

43. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
Well, there was the day a wonderful coyote was born in the town, to bring light and joy to the world. His name was Earl.

44. How many meals do you eat a day?
5. I have a high metabolism

45. Do you like funny or serious people better?
I like serious people. It's a challenge to get them to crack a smile.

46. Ever been to L.A.?
My lawyer advised me not to answer that question.

47. Did you eat a cookie today?
Yes, one of Oreo's Space Dunk flavors. It has pop rock candy in it so it goes pop-pop in your mouth! They're good. Come over I have more to share!

48. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
Honey, that's about the only words I know in other languages.

49. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
It's not stealing, it's making a copy for personal use.

50. Do you hate chocolate?
*blinks* Ask the candy-loving Coyote again if he hates chocolate. Go on.

51. What's your favorite flavor of cake?
Yes

52. Are you a gullible person?
I'm a coyote. I gotta be gullible every now and then.

53. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
I could stand to be happier. Got one of each for me?

54. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
Running a humble candy shop that sells various candies from around the world.

55. Are you easy to get along with?
Yes. Would you like some sour balls?

56. What is your favorite time of day?
Midnight.

57. Are you Easy to fall in love with?
I like to think so. But no one's said they're madly in love with me.

Stolen from  aldinbusheytail

Doing this one IRL first. I'll do another one, OC, like Aldin did, after. And to borrow from his courtesy, will post a blank template in comments.

01. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
A friend whom I've lost touch with years back who's ready to return and reconnect

02. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes

03. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Honestly, a talker. I like to think I'm learning how/when to be a listener

04. Do you take compliments well?
Hell no. Why would anyone compliment me? I'm a nobody who does nothing.

05. Do you play Sudoku?
Nope. I play KenKen. It's Sudoku with math.

06. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
I'd like to think I could survive long enough to make it back to civilization, but honestly...probably not.

07. What song are you listening to right now?
Erasure - Ship of Fools

08. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Summer camp? Yes. One year at a place in Vermont. Camping with family? Also yes.

09. What was your favorite game as a kid?
Legend of Zelda

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
Yes, but not if they were so deep into the religion it was bordering on cult-like.

11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
Be pursued.

12. Use three words to describe yourself.
Werewolf. Coyote. Bibliophile.

13. Do any songs make you cry?
Yes.

14. Are you continuing your education?
Not in academia, but I'm always learning new things.

15. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Yes. Summer camp taught us to use a rifle.

16. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you'd grab?
I have a thing with critical documents and a backup drive.

17. How often do you read books?
I'm always reading books.

18. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Future.

19. What is your favorite children's book?
The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis

20. What color are your eyes?
Brown. I think.

21. How tall are you?
5'9 I think. Been a while since I measured.

22. Where is your dream house located?
High in some mountains, surrounded by woods, adjacent to a waterfall-fed pond

23. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Nope.

24. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
August 2022.

25. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
I actually called in sick today. So...the kitchen.

26. Do you like mustard?
Nope.

27. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Sleep is so nice.

28. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Dad.

29. How long does it take you in the shower?
If it's not a workday I can take 20min.

30. Can you do the splits?
Nope.

31. What movie do you want to see right now?
Barbie. I haven't seen it yet.

32. What did you do for New Year's?
Worked on our house and had dinner at a local place with  joaquinnmemphis with pizza and wings.

33. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
Never saw it. I assume it's a horror film.

34. Do you own a camera phone?
Yes

35. Was your mom a cheerleader?
Not that I'm aware of.

36. What's the last letter of your middle name?
N

37. How many hours of sleep do you get at night?
6-8

38. Do you like care bears?
Yeah. Haven't seen any entries in the franchise in a long time, but they're okay.

39. What do you buy at the movies?
Popcorn soda and a candy.

40. Do you know how to play poker?
Sorta. Know the basics but don't have much experience.

41. Do you wear your seatbelt?
When I'm in a car, yes. When I'm in the shower, no.

42. What do you wear to sleep?
Briefs

43. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
If by hometown, the town I was raised in, yes. I can say yes.

44. How many meals do you eat a day?
2

45. Do you like funny or serious people better?
Funny

46. Ever been to L.A.?
Yes, sorta.

47. Did you eat a cookie today?
Yes

48. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
Sometimes, yes.

49. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
Both. I have paid for some music downloads.

50. Do you hate chocolate?
Yes. Why must it be so tasty and full of calories!

51. What's your favorite flavor of cake?
Red velvet.

52. Are you a gullible person?
Probably.

53. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
I dunno. My last few didn't make me happy. I'm willing to try again, for SCIENCE!

54. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
Reference librarian in a public library.

55. Are you easy to get along with?
Dunno. A lot of people put up with my shit, so...probably?

56. What is your favorite time of day?
Twilight time.

57. Are you Easy to fall in love with?
I don't know. Very few people have confessed their love to me.

Stolen from  aldinbusheytail

I could write a traditional Convention Report for  Furcationland 2024, detailing my activities and movements each day, but I fear that would be lackluster reading. The bulk of my time that weekend was spent in the Registration room, handing out Supersponsor souvenir bags and helping my Staff when they had questions on what counted as acceptable identification and such. Not really worth the re-telling.
The bulk of my time, but not all of it. I was able to slip away and visit the rest of the convention space, attend some panels and browse the tables in the Dealer’s Den.
So instead I’ll share what were some of the highlights of the con. Memories both heartwarming and amusing that I will treasure.

I bought a chickadee plush puppet at Treehouse Toys in the Old Port and used it in several photos around the convention. The black-capped chickadee is Maine’s state bird and chosen as the species for FCL’s mascot Scout.

I got to chat with one of the Directors of Eufuria, an upcoming furry con in Albany. We talked shop and bounced ideas off each other. I may not be able to attend this year but I do with them success.

Finally getting to meet Chrysmuu and CheshireKitsune in person. Unfortunately, it was only briefly as I was needed elsewhere, but will see them again before too long at a local meetup.

Going out at one in the morning to another hotel a few miles away for another Staffer who needed help with an incidentals charge. I was a little surprised when I got home to see my card used to pay for their entire stay. I wasn’t worried. I knew they’d pay me back and it meant more credit card reward points for me.

I wore my Emotional Support Shapeshifter lanyard and boy did I live up to that title. I’m happy to help my friends because that’s what friends do, but I was hitting compassion fatigue by the end of it.

I got to meet up with a lot of friends I don’t see that often. Getting to spend time with DJ Daddy Hawk again. Though I still haven’t met his wife, Hawkwoman.

The many small gifts I got from friends. I’m honestly touched that so many people do care about me.

I do need a disguise for visiting the Dealer’s Den. At times it was hard checking out vendors when people I knew stopped me to say hi.

I got to see  Bushycat and get stoned. Well, meet her again, having previously bought items from her at Anthrocon in the early 00s. This time I bought a stone painted like an arctic fox. And getting her to participate in Dipper’s Pass the Parcel panel.

And that was a fun panel. As seen on an episode of Bluey, it’s like musical chairs. A prize is passed around a circle of people and when the music stops, whomever is holding it removes a layer of wrapping. The person who unwraps the last layer keeps the gift. Everyone had fun and I hope it becomes a regular panel.

The hotel Staff liked having us there. One employee wore a crow mask while working. I think if she wasn’t on the clock she’d have visited a few panels. Maybe next year.

I attended  WolvenTerror’s Graymuzzle panel. I thought it was a productive discussion about where we older furs had come from and what we can do going forward.

I did Supersponsor this year which was worth it. Got to enjoy a nice dinner, a lovely brunch and the tote bag is simply adorable.

I took a lot of photos. A silly joke would occur to me and I’d just have to do a photo of it.

And just hanging out with folks, both attendees and regular staff.

Nico and  KovutheHusky introduced me to Cheerwine. A cherry-flavored carbonated soda from North Carolina. I rather enjoyed it, even though I don’t normally like cherry flavor. If I say it tastes like someone put cough syrup in a Sodastream, it’s not a complaint but an observation. It tastes like the basis for a Flaming Homer. Of course I picked up a few bottles of it when I was at Cracker Barrel.

Sunday afternoon was somewhat hectic. Registration was only open till 3p that last day. Right before closing I’m helping a few people buying last minute day passes. One of them has a necklace with the theta-delta symbol used by the therian community. I have a sinking feeling and ask if she’s at the convention for anything in particular. The Therian Meet & Greet, she tells me. She drove over three hours to come to the convention for it. I’m both touched and surprised it happened again. I held a Therian Meet & Greet at PineFurCon 2019. My intent wasn’t to stand up as an expert and tell people about therianthropy. I just hated the ones I attended at Anthrocon in years past and wanted a better space for folks to make connections and share experiences. And a young lady said her only reason for coming to the convention, from two states away, was my panel.
So again, I underestimated what a draw something like this is. How important it was for people to make a connection and get some understanding of themselves.
Registration closes and my Staff and I do as much breakdown as we can before I head off to my panel. All the different Meet & Greets were held in the Zoo, which this year was located at a table in a corner of the Gaming room. The room was loud, all the table’s chairs were taken by gamers at other tables. I arrive and there’s already a small group of people there, mostly new faces I’d not seen before. I think it goes okay and I hope everyone who came learned something.
After that I had to dash off the the Ballroom. Closing Ceremonies was coming up soon. The Department Leads were offered the chance to say something and I wanted to thank my staff. I wrote down what I wanted to say on my phone’s notepad, including names of my Staff and the volunteers who helped in my room. I considered making a dumb Red joke but decided against it. I didn’t want to come across like I was hogging the spotlight. So I make my way to the Programming lead who was assembling the slideshow. And for my part he included “Red makes a joke.” Ye gods, am I that predictable?
Okay, I reinsert my joke and wait for the final event to begin.
I will admit I was very nervous waiting for my turn to get on stage. Like even more than the times a manager has asked to see me in their office. I’m not used to being on stage, in the spotlight. I can be goofy in public, sure. And if I flub a line it doesn’t matter. But this was important. I didn’t want to screw it up.
So I’m standing there, heart beating in my chest and constantly checking the notepad on my phone, afraid I was going to trip over my own tongue. And I didn’t remember what slides came before mine so I don’t know when I’m supposed to go on. Then they mention attendance, I go on and do my little bit. I think I did okay. Okay enough that I’d already thinking of jokes for next year’s Closing Ceremonies. Heh heh.

There were things I wish I’d done, people I wish I’d gotten to meet, panels I wish I’d gotten to attend. The weekend felt like it passed far too quickly. That’s life, though. And if there’s something I learned it’s you gotta spend more time remembering the fun you did have than regretting the fun you didn’t.

I loved Furcationland, I loved helping being on Staff. I love the awesome people I got to spend the weekend with and I look forward to returning next year.

I'll be hosting a Therian Meet and Greet at Furcationland this year.
Sunday, April 14, 4-5p.

Just a chance for like minded folks to get together, hang out and learn something.

Haven't posted anything in a while. I haven't been to any photo-worthy events or sketched anything in a while, so no content to upload.
Been somewhat busy since Thanksgiving, though. This past year Ben and I decided we were in a good enough place financial-wise to look into buying a house and stop living in apartments.
We got a realtor and began the search in earnest in September. We looked at several properties, some pretty cool, some were dumps. We put in offers on a few but were outbid by others.
In late October we saw a nice bungalow in Sanford that met two key requirements. It was within our price range, and it wasn't a complete dump with the ceilings being held up by centuries of hardened dust.
We put in an offer that was accepted, and then began a few weeks of inspections and negotiations. The roof needed work so we got the price knocked down a bit. In early December we officially closed on the property and got the keys. I have to work, and now with a longer commute, so it’s been slow going on organizing my stuff. I’m downsizing a lot of my media and toy collections, both out of space considerations, and lack of interest. I sold a few thousand comics and graphic novels which freed up a lot of space, and have been going through my books, DVDs and assorted toys to see what no longer holds my interest. And I gotta make room for the new stuff.
The place is nice with a decent backyard and an existing fire pit. Hopefully this summer we’ll get a grill and host small BBQs with friends.

Everything seemed like it would go smoothly for attending Anthrocon this year. I booked a hotel room. I found some roomies to share the hotel room and costs. I got time off for the convention weekend with enough buffer for me to prepare beforehand and decompress afterwards before returning to work. The only snag was a rideshare. I prefer riding with others because I dislike driving distances alone. Maybe it’s undiagnosed ADHD or something but my mind gets bored and stressed and fidgety. Music doesn’t help, audio books don’t help. I don’t mind taking a turn doing the driving, as long as there’s a passenger to talk to and help pass the time. This year, Crafty ( blackpawwolf) offered me a spot in his car. He and Lukon ( Unit555mage) were ridesharing and had a spot for one more.

Monday was my only day of work. I wanted Tuesday to clear my head of mundane stress and worries from my human life and get into the furry mindset. Pack, prep, buy some soda and snacks for the trip. An easy relaxing day. So I stayed up late and woke up on Tuesday around 1p. I yawned, grabbed a coke and checked Telegram. Oh, a message from Crafty. He’s at Lukon’s place, about an hour out and wanted to confirm my address. Silly dog, I send him holiday cards, he should have my address…wait. They’re where?
I thought we were leaving Wednesday! He said he wanted two days for travel. I thought he meant Wednesday and Thursday! I rush to get my duffel bags packed with clothes, toiletries, my tail, hat with ears and other furry accessories. No time to pick up sodas or snacks, but I am ready by the time Crafty pulls up in his car and U-Haul trailer filled with fursuit items he’s hoping to sell in the Dealer’s Den. I admit this was my fault. I should have confirmed our departure plans much sooner. When I had a moment I checked the rideshare chat he created on Telegram, backscrolled and saw an earlier mention of leaving Tuesday. No one to blame but myself for this.

The ride was for the most part uneventful, which is a good thing. No breakdowns or emergencies. Crafty drove and I tried to pass the time by taking pictures to post with bad puns to Twitter or Telegram. Wednesday we stopped at a gas station to refuel and buy snacks. I see a guy walk in that I swear looks like fellow Mainefur,  eclipsethewolf. And it was! He was also en route to Anthrocon and happened to stop at the same station. And he had a gift for me. He saw my comments online about not having a chance to grab some Moxie before leaving Maine and gifted me a can from his supply.

Thursday we arrive in Pittsburgh around early afternoon. I’m dropped off at the Westin and check-in. I’d packed in a hurry and rather sloppily and I finally had a chance to sort through everything and organize it for the weekend. As I’m getting ready  kimmerzgreywolf arrives. She’s a fellow New England fur I’d known for a long time but hadn’t seen in years. Her being a roommate was rather fortuitous. By chance I happened upon a Twitter post she made looking for roomshare and had a spare space for her. After getting myself ready with ears and tail I headed over to the convention.

After getting my badge I check in with my department, let them know I’d arrived and can help if needed.
This would be my second year working as ConStaff, curiously enough in the ConStore/Artist Alley department. Registration would seem to be an obvious place to put me, but I was sent to the ConStore in 2018 to help hand out shirts and the department head ShadowWolf snagged me. I do enjoy the department and my colleagues are pretty cool.
Anthrocon has a t-shirt with that year’s theme for sale in the ConStore and one of the perks of Sponsor levels is to get a free one. ShadowWolf had a great idea to expedite things and set up a t-shirt pickup right outside the Registration Room exit for Thursday and had me help out there for a bit. So I spent some hours trading vouchers for shirts, and in some cases the hat we added as a perk. After we closed I went to PizzaParma. I didn’t want to risk missing out on the dogfoodbowl special again. I got some pizza, this year’s bowl and went back to the hotel. I ran into Fiddle, a lemur I’d met at Furcationland and was also working Security for AC. We chatted for a little bit and I went back to my room to drop off the bowl and wash the pizza grease from my hands. I got to re-meet Acratin, the other roommate, who’d I’d briefly met at prior ACs.

The rest of the night was wandering the DLCC and checking the views from the roof. There was some haze from the smoke of the Canadian wildfires across the border. Enough to obscure the sky but not enough to fully block the moon. After midnight the roof was closed and I wandered to the Security department to say hi to Fiddle and ended up hanging there for a few hours, meeting members of that team and chatting until the DLCC was closed around 2:30. I run into Fiddle again in the Westin and we chat until about 6a.
Friday I wake up around noon. I don’t have any scheduled shifts so I wander a bit, take some photos and start browsing the Dealer’s Den. The ConStore needed some help, and I was close so I go over to lend a hand for a bit before leaving to attend some panels on my list.

I sat in on The Importance of Plush, which covered some history and uses of plush as comfort and support. I checked out the Historical Furry comic room, which was a showcase of assorted anthro comics that people could read. I attended All About Audio Books, which covered different aspects of narrating books or for writers how to solicit someone to read one’s books. I like to think I have a good “professional” voice and had considered doing readings or narration as a side gig.  NightEyes did selected readings from his new anthology, Gnoll Tales, that was pretty good. Afterwards I chatted with him and another member of the Furry Writer’s Guild (whose name escapes me).

Saturday was my first official shift and I worked the ConStore from 9 to noon, handing out t-shirts and selling official merchandise. I return to the Dealer’s Den for a few hours, decide I should get a snack and head out, only to see someone with a flag that has the therian theta-delta symbol. Totally cool and I must buy one. I don’t want to risk waiting and having it sell out so I go back in and find the booth. Pretty easy to spot as they had a ton of flags (which many attendees were wearing like a cape). The dealer, ChocolatePony (Chocolate Pony), had a ton of therian swag I bought including a Shapeshifter passport, werewolf coins, lanyards, etc. I’m chatting with the guy, who I remembered as the person who sold Shapeshifter pills back in 2018, and invited him to join Crossroads. I make another attempt to leave and get snacks but run into Spangler and chat for a bit. I do eventually sate my hunger and figure while I’m in the area I’ll check out the Westin’s recreation department. Before the pandemic, an attendee who was staying at the Westin showed me the sauna, steam room and pool and I was eager to check them out this year. Except, the locker rooms were locked. I go to the lobby and find an employee who tells me they closed the pool and the sauna and steam room were only accessible when there was an attendant on duty. For liability reasons (translation: someone did something stupid and ruined it for the rest of us). Okay, I understand. Well, when is there an attendant on duty? The response was vague and non-committal. I got the impression the real answer was “sometime after the convention ends.” I’m a bit disappointed.
That night I hosted a room party and got to chill with some cool people.

Sunday morning started with another shift in the ConStore then I went to find one of the therian focus group panels. I wondered if it was one of the survey types, but was a group forum for people to discuss their species and gender dysphorias. On the way I came across a table from CentralOutreach offering STI testing. I was really glad to see them as I’d long thought furry conventions should have more testing to keep people safe and informed. Even though it has been a while, I got tested, just to be sure (and the results came back negative).

I returned to the ConStore for my second shift which lasted until the end of the convention at 4p and we packed everything up. I had some time to kill before evening plans and thought I’d check out Grandpa Joe’s Candy Shop. I’d seen their billboard near the convention and was curious what kind of selection they’d have. It was only a mile away and I enjoyed a nice stroll over in the afternoon sun. It wasn’t a bad shop, had a decent selection of assorted and unusual candies and a wall of glass bottle sodas, mostly root beer. There just wasn’t anything I couldn’t get in similar shops in Maine. I picked up some chips imported from Japan, including two cans of seaweed-flavored Pringles. Nothing else struck me as worth the effort to lug on the long trip back to Maine. Not that it’s a bad shop, again it wasn’t too different from what I had at home. To be fair, I didn’t try any of the chocolate. I had a bad experience transporting chocolate once. Ask me about Niagara Falls sometime.

The rest of the evening was mostly hanging out with other Staff in post-con chilling. I wish I’d volunteered long before now cause these are some cool people.
I got to bed late and woke up Monday to check out of the room and wait for Crafty and Lukon to pick me up.
On our way home we stopped at the Boyer outlet store where I bought a ton of Mallo Cups and other treats. We had dinner at a Denny’s where I finally got to use my AARP card for a decent discount. After another motel stay they got me home to Biddeford around noon on Tuesday. I spent Tuesday and Wednesday unpacking and decompressing and dealing with a tiny bit of con crud before going back to work on Thursday where I had 300+ emails to deal with.

Overall I had a great time. I didn’t get to attend all the panels I wanted. I didn’t buy a copy of NightEyes’s new book. Heck, I think I barely made it halfway through the Dealer’s Den despite how many times I tried to get over there. I didn’t get to use the hotel sauna. So many times I’d be trying to get somewhere and be waylaid by people I knew, or random attendees who saw the Staff badge and asked for help getting directions to a panel or event. Which, I’d do even if I weren’t Staff. I’m one of those people who, if I’m shopping and another customer needs help finding something, I’ll help them.
I did get to attend some pretty good panels. I did get to hit up some cool Dealer’s tables and buy some stuff (see my Swag pictures). I did get to hang out with some friends I only ever see at Anthrocon. I got a sketch by someone looking to practice their art skills. I explored more of the area around the convention that I’d never seen on prior visits.

And I’m thinking of what I’d like to do before next year. I want to redo the ears on my hat again. I want to add to my furry costume beyond the ears and hat. I want to see more of the city. I may see if I can work a second department. I might host a therian panel. I want to actually record some narration and see if I’m any good at it. And as always, I’d like to lose 40 pounds of bodyfat.

On Wednesday, April 12th I drove up to Portland, Maine for  Furcationland. I stopped by the Hannafords supermarket on Forest Ave, near Back Cove and bought a couple of cases of Coke and Sprite, a package of Oreos. They were out of Moxie so I drove to the Shaw's supermarket further down Congress St. After many years living in Maine I'd finally tried the official state soft drink and found it not bad. I went to the Holiday Inn by the Bay, checked in, parked my car, walked a few blocks to the public library to return some books and check out new ones. Then over to Casablanca Comics in the Old Port to pick up my pull list before returning to the hotel.

I didn't feel like I was in town for a furry convention. I felt like I was running errands. Usually, for me, furry convention means a trip to Pittsburgh for Anthrocon. An opportunity to see new places and try different restaurants, both in the city and the road trip there and back. Going to a furry convention is an adventure to someplace different. Not somewhere I routinely visit for comics and groceries.
I knew I was still trying to shake off the mindset of the mundane world. And a bit nervous of what the weekend would bring. I was the Head of the entire Registration Department, and a fraud. I'd never run a convention department before. Hell, I'd only spent a little time volunteering in Registration for PineFurCon and Anthrocon. I was totally going to mess this up. The Imposter Syndrome was strong. Some days it would tell me I should never have accepted. Some days it suggested I quit before it was too late, let the Board find someone more qualified to do the job. Except, there was another voice, one that said I'd regret it if I quit. Sometimes you have to risk failure, no...the fear of failure. So I stayed on. Attended the meetings, brought on Staff, assembled plans and workflows. And soon enough, the day arrived.

Late Wednesday and early Thursday were set-up. Getting the equipment out and waiting for IT to set up the networks. We’d done preparation on the laptops to make sure they were ready, but as anyone who works in the field knows, there’s always some last minute pain. And sure enough, on all the laptops, Chrome wanted to update. And not merely update and restart, no. It insisted we download the update and run it. Small challenges, easily overcome.

There were souvenir bags to label and stow, forms to print and minor office supplies to distribute and by late afternoon we were ready to open our doors and print badges so attendees could officially be a part of the convention. And any feelings of imposter syndrome were washed away; not from the overwhelming success, but from being too busy dealing with the small issues that came up. Technical problems with the laptops and badge printers, people not being prepared for vaccine checks or ID checks, emails and other general inquiries. All of which I handled with my experience in IT, customer service, periodic supervisor roles, and willingness to make a judgment call and accept the consequences. As Nero Wolfe put it, “Use your intelligence, guided by experience.”

Most of the weekend followed a routine of waking up way too early to attend the Department Head meeting, opening the Registration room, getting and losing volunteers, dealing with problems, making sure my Staff took breaks, then closing up at night and wandering the con space before going to bed way too late. And trying to take my own breaks to see the rest of the con. During which I’d often get side-tracked by friends wanting to chat, helping other Staff with issues, or being summoned back to Registration to deal with a problem. Notice I didn’t mention eating or sleeping. Apart from a meal the first day and last day, I didn’t eat much. Mostly subsiding on Coke, Moxie and adrenaline. And a few Oreos. But that’s par for the course for me. And it’s hard to sleep when you’ve had a busy day and your mind won’t quiet enough to let you rest.

There were a few highlights that will stand out for me.
Thursday while setting up, the Safety department wanted to go to a local store to get some food and soda. I had a car and some free time waiting for IT to finish networking so offered them a lift to the Hannafords. They wanted to pick up some Moxie but Hannafords still hadn’t restocked so I drove them to the Shaw’s. Bit of deja vu from Wednesday.
A young woman who came to Registration who was mute (possibly short term, I didn’t inquire on details) and using her phone’s text to voice to communicate. I asked if she knew ASL and that I knew the sign (badly) for “Dammit, Red.” She laughed.
That phrase started getting more common. It started as  NovarLynx’s reaction to my bad puns. Then he made a Telegram sticker for it. Curiously enough, CoyoteOsborne independently came up with the same phrase, and a sticker as well. It started being used so often, though, to the point  Kaeda_Wolf, the Director above me, wrote it on a blank pronouns ribbon and attached it to my badge.
A teenage daughter and her mother come through the line. The girl is wearing animal ears and cannot wait to get her badge and surround herself with furries and acceptance. Her mother is having trouble finding her ID and the girl is stressing out, worried that she might not get in. She’s bapping her fists against the side of her head gently, I assume she’s on the spectrum and this is a coping mechanism. Her mother gives off the vibe of not believing autism is real and tells her to “calm down” and “stop doing that.” She did find the necessary paperwork and we got both of them badged and on their way. I swear to the Goddess I wanted to tell the mother to shut up and saying stuff like that Does Not Help. I wanted to reassure the girl everything would be okay. I couldn’t. There are some lines you cannot cross, some battles you cannot fight. I hope she had fun and had the time of her life. I’d love to have noted her badge name in case I saw her again, to follow up, but I got pulled to help another person in need.
There were a lot of teenagers there, with parents who could not give a shit about furry. Same as the parents who chaperone their kids to a tween movie, or boy band concert, or Chuck E Cheese. It’s part of being a parent.
There were some parents who did have fun. Who got in on the spirit of having a badge with a cool name and species.
We had a few locals come in, “wanting to party,” people more interested in a club scene and seeing an opportunity to buy or perhaps sell stuff we wouldn’t permit. They balked at the entrance fee and, I suspect, having their information tracked. No loss.
We had some people come by who were visiting the area as tourists, curious about what was going on and totally wanted in. Got registered, got badges, and presumably had a fun time.
I held a panel on therianthropy. As with PineFurCon, someone should and if no one else would, I would. Just getting to the panel was hectic. It was scheduled right after the Masquerade and Fursuit Parade so volunteers were scarce. At almost the last minute a family came through who made some mistakes with their registration and I rushed to get everything straightened out and headed to the panel room. My therian panels were intended to be an open forum but end up with me answering questions from the crowd. I had a decent turnout this year and tried my best to engage the audience. I even learned some new things, like quadrobics, which is what the kids these days are calling “going on all fours.” My friend  WolvenTerror recorded the panel, and I got it uploaded to YouTube.
I was able to sneak away and visit the Dealer’s Den a few times. Bought some items, chatted with dealers I knew and touched base with  nashida at the ConStore.
Sunday afternoon we close up and start packing everything up. Pro-tip: If you’re unpacking a tote filled with unusually shaped items, take photos so you know how to pack it back up later.
We had a small break in the evening and I used it to get a quick swim in the hotel pool. The rest of the night and into the next morning was finishing the remaining pack up for storage. Monday morning we were all mostly exhausted from our busman’s holiday but eager to return next year.
It turns out we had over 800 people attend, way more than we were anticipating. Well hell, no wonder I was exhausted. I need more Staff. 🙂
I must acknowledge my team who did the bulk of the work processing those 800+ attendees:  WolvenTerror, Winter, TechBurr,  Kalleo. And Cyber, aldinbusheytail,  itsbooshie and other volunteers who provided invaluable support.
Overall it was a great convention and I loved all of it. Yes, problems came up and I wish I’d taken more time to take photos and see other parts of the con, but I’m framing them not as “we should have” but “we know what to do if this happens again in the future.” I didn’t attend any room parties. I might have gone to the ones with open invites but I’m still a shy guy with self esteem issues. And when they were happening I was usually already deep in conversation with the folks doing badge checks or Safety, occasionally offering them a soda. And I honestly really enjoyed those opportunities to just hang out.
And I look forward to 2024.

 Furcationland is just a few weeks away.
Both nervous and excited.
And sad at all the weight I put back on since last summer.
With the weather getting warmer, my hope is to get more hiking in, get some green therapy.
And look for a creative outlet. I have many great ideas, but I'm not much of an artist, writer, singer, sculptor or dancer. Maybe it's time for a new art form.

I haven't been posting many life updates, figure my life is kinda boring.
Did I ever mention I'm head of registration for Maine's new furry con, Furcationland?
If not, I am.
If you're thinking "RunningReg" jokes...that's actually the pun that convinced me to take the job.

I'm getting older and decided it was time to get a physical, hadn't had one in many years. Blood work came back okay, no concerns.

Gave up on using a fitbit last autumn. The band on my Charge 4 broke. Well, not the band but the part of the device that clips to the wristband. Was outside the 1yr warranty, fitbit refused to consider repair, just offered a discount on a new one. It broke because of a serious design flaw so I decided it wasn't worth it.
I never had a problem getting exercise, my weight issues have always been my gluttony. So I've spent the last few months focusing more on that then an arbitrary step count.

For the first time in several years I have been able to return to Pittsburgh for some sunny, summery, furry fun at Anthrocon. It's been a while since I attended even a local fur meet; I was feeling rather withdrawn and disconnected from the fandom, so I was happy to be able to recharge my social batteries. Winter arrives at my place Wednesday afternoon. We decided to drive there together, using his car, as neither of us wanted to drive the distance solo. I loaded up a few duffel bags and a cooler of cold sodas. Pro tip, put the ice for the cooler in ziplog bags (double-bagged to be safe) so you don't have soaked cans or risk a spill of melted water. I'd spent the previous couple of days packing and re-packing my stuff. Part of my brain overthinking things and trying to plan for any contingency, the other part of my brain taking stuff out I never used last time and pointing out encumbrance rules aren't just for D&D.

We get on the highway, with a small detour for candy.  dondrakore was bringing me some werewolf comics from the UK and I wanted to show my appreciation. My Coyote side, CinnamonRed, believes candy is a great way to say thanks, and suggested Goldenrod. They're a small candy shop in York Beach that make their own salt-water taffy. The taffy pulling machine is visible from the sidewalk, a great way to entice tourists to step inside for treats. The drive from Maine to Pennsylvania was uneventful. Winter and I passed the miles in idle conversation, discussing various interests and swapping music and game recommendations. We spent the night at a Super 8 motel inside the Pennsylvania border. Decent beds, but the toilet made a high-pitch squeal when it flushed. I think every dog in a ten mile radius knew when I had to pee.

Thursday we head out, it's a nice sunny day so I take off my shirt and see if I can get a seatbelt tan. I find out  nit555mage is riding with  blackpawwolf and they're not far behind us on the highway. He messages me a few times when they pass a sign I'd posted in a tweet (along with a joke) a couple of minutes before. We arrive in Pittsburgh my mid-afternoon. It is possible to drive from Maine to Anthrocon in one shot, but you have to factor in hotel check-in times, when Registration opens, how tired you're going to be when you arrive. I prefer to spend an extra day to enjoy a stress-free drive and arrive refreshed. We pick up Winter's boyfriend  ezenbaklattan and go to the hotel to drop off our stuff. The four of us (including Howl, who I'd meet later that evening) would be staying at the Drury, a short walk from the convention. The hotel was previously a Federal Reserve building and they kept a lot of the bank aesthetic. The Omni hotel was the same, keeping the 30s and 40s vibe. You wouldn't have been surprised to see a gangster in a pinstripe suit and snazzy hat walk by with a tommy gun to hold up the place. Of course, this was Anthrocon's weekend so you wouldn't have been surprised to see a tiger in a pinstripe suit and snazzy hat walk by with a tommy gun.

After checking in and stowing my stuff, it's time to revel in being a furry. I don my Wolf Hollow cap with red fuzzy ears, attach my red floofy tail and give it a few spritz of cinnamon-scented fursuit spray and head to the DLCC. I put on a face mask, pass through the vaccine checkpoint and pick up my badge. And for the first time, it says STAFF. I am officially back at Anthrocon, yay.
And then I goofed. See, back in 2018 I did some volunteering and got pegged to be on Staff by the head of the Artist Alley. And then missed three years due to Covid and other reasons. So I hadn't been in touch with anyone. I wasn't sure how being Staff worked. I was on the staff mailing list and getting emails so I assumed they knew I was coming and someone would reach out to me with directions. Well, ConOps should know. I get there, after trying to remember how to navigate around the multi-tiered labyrinth of the DLCC. I tell them I'm new to Staff, where should I go. It's the first day of the con, of course they send me back to Registration. I send the rest of the day checking in attendees and stayed with them until they closed around 11p, doing what I could to help and making mental notes on how we want Registration to work for Furcationland. It had been a long day so I head back to the Drury to meet Howl and get some sleep.

I get up Friday, grab a coke to wake up and take a shower. The guy in the mirror holding a hairbrush tells me I really should check in at the Artist Alley. Good idea. I head over, look for the long row of door that mean I found where the Dealer's Den is, and spy a sign on an easel that says Artist's Alley. I see Shadow, yep he looks like the guy who pegged me for Staff way back when. I introduce myself and apologize for having my head up my ass and not reaching out before the convention. Shadow is a cool guy and gives me a basic rundown of the con store area, introduced me to my fellow cohorts and assigns me some hours. Afternoon hours, sweet. I love being able to sleep in! I spend the day handing out t-shirts and making suggestions on what size the sponsor should get (assume it will shrink a little in the wash), and working the con store, selling official con merchandise and chatting with  shymatsi, a fur I'd known for years online but never met irl until today. I got to check a few others off that list, including  rick2tails and Arcatin. This is one of the reasons I like coming to conventions, to get to meet some of these people I'd known from online chats.
The other reason is to visit the Dealer's Den and see all the cool stuff people are selling. I take a break in the afternoon, walk over, check out some of the tables. I say hi to iconthe_gneech:, it's cool getting to see him again.  NightSpiritWings is there, and Lukon is helping Radar run his table. I bought a pair of fuzzy red ears so I could attach them to another one of my hats, and a pair of red claw leather gauntlets from Red Falcon. For years I'd been debating whether to buy some. Sure they're dragony, but they look awesome. Sure they're a little expensive, but fuck it, I paid off my credit card debt, I can afford to splurge. The dealer lets me try them on, shows me how to buckle the various straps and took my card cause they were coming with me. At six, the den and alley close up for the night, I have nothing planned and go over to Furryland (formerly Furnandos) for a Dog Bowl Special. Unfortunately, they were sold out of regular bowls so I got a collapsible one leftover from 2018. I don't know if they didn't order enough or they sold out just that fast. Lesson learned, next year get there much earlier. The pizza was simple, but good. I sometimes want a slice that's a bit greasy with super-stringy cheese. Like getting popcorn at a movie theater. Sure it's overpriced, but it's part of the whole experience. And the memory of that pizza stayed with me the entire night. Literally. With my face mask covering my mouth and nose, I was smelling my own mozerella-scented breath all evening.
I wander the DLCC and briefly run into a few people, Richard, a former MaineFur,  lancedrake (another to check off the irl list) and  NightEyes. The roof is locked, something they started doing at night. I wonder how this will impact future Astronofur panels. A storm is passing by and the thunder is echoing off the skyscrapers making weird sounds, but the storm, and the rain miss us. Not finding anyone to hang out with, I head to the streets. In prior years I've found some pretty cool stuff in the neighborhood (posted to my various galleries) and wanted to see what new art had cropped up since 2018. The vibe I'd gotten of Pittsburgh is of a place that welcomes individual expression, artistry and the weird. A town that embraced the annual visit by the furry fandom. This isn't speculation, I have had locals tell me how much they loved having us here (I'm wearing ears and a tail, it's obvious what I'm in town for). Even this night as I'm walking, a local guy passes by and tells me he's glad we're back. He also mentioned he was a DJ...but I forgot his handle and didn't write it down.

Saturday I return to the streets to take more photos. The art I saw would look better in natural light than the flash of my iphone. I have some time before my shift starts and visit the Dealer's Den again. I buy a black wolf plushy at the Dragon's Lair table that looked cute and thought Oscar could use a boyfriend. Howl is working a table selling naughty fursuit sprays (HuffAromas). I pick up a bottle out of curiosity. I stop at NightEyes table and buy copies of his book. We chat about writing, I mention my interesting in doing audio adaptations of stories (I've been told I have a good "professional" voice) and he recommends The Voice of Dog, a podcast that features furry audio books. Next table over is his husband, Othello. Othello sells various jewelry and LED products. This year he has an LED badge that can be programmed via an app. An improvement over the older models where you had to enter each letter manually, scrolling through the alphabet to get to the character you wanted, like adding your name for the high score on an old arcade machine. I checked out some of the vendors selling shirts, wondering why no one sold animal-themed pants or shorts. As I phased out my t-shirts that became too raggedy for everyday wear, the remaining selection is made up of mostly MLP ones. And while Friendship is Magic is still dear to my heart, I'm not the fan I once was. I haven't decided what pop culture trend to base my current wardrobe on, none of the shows I currently enjoy give me that "advertise on my torso" vibe. I always will be a furry and therian so I picked out a couple of nice wolf shirts from  Rukis. And a few more Certified badges from  MaryMouse.
Back at the Artist Alley/Con Store I hand out sponsor t-shirts and "other duties as assigned by management." I actually like handing out the t-shirts to sponsors, thanking people for having given a little extra to the convention, and meeting some cool people. Like, I got to meet Grandma Kage again when she came by to pick up her shirt. We actually chatted for a bit about our fitbits and getting in daily steps.
That evening I was able to connect with Don and :estobhan: and pick up the comics he got me. I gave him the bag of candy, which I knew would thrill Erin as she was familiar with Goldenrod and would enjoy a small reminder of home.
Another evening of walking around, checking out the quieter wings of the convention center away from the crowded center areas where the fursuiters all gather to be admired and photographed. Out here you'll find the game rooms, some late night panels, maybe an artist leaning against a wall working on commissions in the quiet area cause their hotel room is being used for a loud room party. You try some doors to see if they'll lead to a Room of Requirement, Narnia, or even a few furries making out.
I met up with Fenrari, another online fur I'd wanted to meet irl. We hung out in the corridor that overlooks the Den and chatted for a while. I was glad for the opportunity to just hang out and chill with someone for a while. While we talked I saw a young man with a familiar purple shirt walk by. "Hey, PineFurCon!" I said loudly, to get his attention. He came over to talk and we discussed the rise and fall of Maine's first furcon. He said it was gone, it was the closest furrycon to where he lived in Canada. I told him about Furcationland, and got him into the Telegram chat for it. I may have subtly hinted at the need for Staff but apparently Canada has some policies that make it a hassle to deal with the paperwork.
Sunday morning I wake up and finish packing. Ezen only reserved the hotel room through Sunday. Problem, I wasn't planning on leaving until Monday. I came to the convention with no backup plan, just rugged optimism. Fuck, I figured I could catnap on a bench near the convention if need be. Fortunately, Radar and Lukon came to my aid and offered a space in their room. So I loaded everything except the essentials into Winter's car and headed back to the con for one last pass of the Den. I was feeling splurgy so I picked up the complete set of Circles (all four volumes) and the collected Anubis: Dark Desires. I knew  hbruton had a table so I went and asked if she could sign my copy. Not only did she sign it, she told me the other artists who worked on it had tables in the same area and I could get everyone's signature all at once. Totally awesome. I bought some prints from Gneech, I really want to bring home a print of his Shade character. And a few other odds and ends (I'll upload pics of my swag). Of course I now had a backpack full of graphic novels that I'd have to lug with me the rest of the day as I no longer had a place to offload swag. And I finally met Wolfy from the Crossroads chat face-to-face. If you want to meet online friends, work in the Dealer's Den/Con Store area. It's like Rick's Cafe, everyone comes there.
It's the last couple of hours of the con. For sponsor shirts, and the con store we're out of everything but small. We're still collecting vouchers so more can be ordered and mailed out. And then it's 4 o'clock and we are closed! I help with packing everything up. Much like Xmas decorations, you want to make sure everything's packed neatly so you have an easier time setting up for next year. Jackson Browne's Load Out/Stay is running through my head, Now the promoter don’t mind, And the roadies don’t mind/If we take a little time/And we leave this all behind and sing/One more song. And we're done. I leave the hall, briefly meet J'Ra-Nha Casareth from Crossroads and head out into the open air. Later I get dinner with some Staff and hang out a bit as the sun goes down. It's Sunday night and everyone's Dead Dogging at the Westin. I run into a few people, and try looking for a few others who were supposed to be there, but to no avail. I'm tired, my feet are aching and I decide to head over to see Radar and Lukon. Why does the time on Google Maps keep going up? Damn, I had it oriented the wrong way. I'm definitely a dead dog. I turn around, get to their hotel and crash on their floor.

Monday morning I wake up around 8. I say goodbye to my hosts and head to the DLCC to wait for Winter. Yesterday I told him we could head out around 10ish. Whelp I've got time to kill but my feet are too sore for exploring so I enjoy a quiet sit for a few hours. Winter arrives and I enjoy one of the final colas from the cooler. We set the GPS to Maine and head out of town. We make the periodic stops for gas and colas. Winter wanted to visit a Sheetz, having heard about how great they are. I'd heard other furries say the same, but I never saw what was so special about them. We worked on our seatbelt tans and traded off driving, as on the way in we discussed random stuff and listened to his eclectic playlists on Spotify. How have I never heard of the Australian band The Beards before? How had Nonograms escaped my notice? Ah well, I thank Winter for introducing them to me. We made good time and stopped in Tewksbury, Mass for dinner before the final stretch to Maine. He dropped me off at home and continued on his way. I brought my stuff inside, said hi to Ben and Anthrocon was fully over for me. I didn't have to work until Wednesday so I had the extra day to unpack, sort through my notes and avoid the dreaded PCD.

I do have some regrets. There were a few people I didn't get a chance to meet and hug. I didn't attend any panels, even some I noted cause they looked interesting. I didn't visit any sites on the drive down or back. I didn't get to hang out with friends as much as I wanted. Some of that was due to my own failure to plan. Overall, the convention was a lot of fun. I enjoyed the drive with Winter, he is an excellent traveling companion. I enjoyed being on Staff and contributing, in my own small ways, to helping others have a great time. I got some sweet purchases from the Den and I can't wait to show off my gauntlets. I barely ate anything, mostly some small snacks I brought. Which is good, cause it reinforced that when I put my mind to it, I can control my appetite. Before leaving, I set the daily goal on my fitbit to 2k steps. I thought my daily totals would be low from spending days in the car, or sitting at the Artist Alley and I didn't want to break my step streak (I did have to contend with breaking my NYTXW streak, tho). Nope. The travel days I came pretty close to 10k and during the con I exceeded it. On Sunday I did 29k steps. That's 14.5 miles of walking. So I did a lot of walking (often carrying a backpack full of swag) and ate very little and when I weighed myself on Tuesday I had lost 7 pounds. Yes, a lot of it was water weight, but it was a great achievement for me. And I did get to meet some good friends and get some great ideas for stuff I can do. I am definitely going back for 2023, pandemic-pending. And I will be uploading some of the photos I took. After a long dry-spell I finally have con pics to share.

I haven't posted any art, photos or journal in quite some time. Well, part of it was lack of photographic opportunities. The other part was feeling too stressed and drained to do anything creative. I'm trying to change that.
I hope to be able to allocate some time to work on something, anything, and have some new stuff in my folders.
The last couple of months have been up and down. I'm still at the same job, though with a revamped title to reflect a lot of the additional tasks they dumped on me, and a $1/hr raise (which HR forgot to apply).
I'm still living with Ben. We've actually been (platonic) roommates for twenty years now, as of March. And I still never know what to get him for his birthday. Well, I have an idea of what to buy him for his birthday next month.
The past few weeks have been hella stressful and draining so I kinda unplugged from social media like Twitter and Telegram. I resolved a lot of the issues causing me stress and hope to jump back on in a few days.
Sometimes when I'm stressed my mind will try to deal with it by wanting to impose order on something. Like revamping the spreadsheet I use to track comics, or reorganize my bedroom or sort lists. Well, a few weeks ago I felt I had to reorganize my digital art collection. Downloaded pictures, both naughty and mundane.
Like a lot of graymuzzles, my collection reaches back decades, to stuff I downloaded from the fur.artwork.* newsgroups, to irc, Furnation, VCL, etc. Sub-folders for specific artists, and a miscellaneous folder for the rest.
Most of them had bad file names, as a result of whatever platform I got it from, or was an old pic whose name got truncated as a result of recovery from hard drives (like WOLF~1). So I was determined to identify the artist and rename the files. All several thousand of them. My formatting would be artist_filename, so stuff by the same artist would be listed together and easy to see if I had enough of them to move to a subfolder.
So I went through the pictures one by one to try and find online and see who the artist was and what the piece was called.
Some had the artist name cleared printer in the pic or as part of the filename. Some had signatures with illegible handwriting. Some old furs put just their initials and the year. Some new furs used an icon/watermark as a signature, something impossible to search for.
I spent a lot of time searching through VCL, 3621 and derpibooru, searching on, or filtering out keywords looking for a picture or an art style that matched.
There were some roadblocks. I might actually have an artist name, but they deleted their furaffinity or deviantart accounts, or changed username and purged their old galleries.
I was amazed at how many artists from the old days are still around and drawing. I was amazed at how many have improved their art, and how many look like they got worse.
I was a little disappointed at derpibooru's casual acceptance of racism and fascism. Now, both the furry and brony communities have their share of alt-right, freedom-hating racists who vote Republican so they can maintain their soldier fetish with assault rifles, and pretend to be tough Nazis, cause they're weak and insecure inside.
Well, I came across an artpack called Marenheit 451 that prominently features a MLP OC that's a white pony with a Nazi swastika cutie mark. The members and fans claim it's FOR PROTECTING FREE SPEECH, but as with all conservative rhetoric, that is a lie. See, people started posting pro-BLM material to derpibooru and that triggered the Naziboys who commented with vile hate speech. The moderators tried to contain it, so the racists claim they were being censored. Censored against trying to bully and silence others. So if you hear about Marenheit 451, it's an offensive collection by people who want the freedom to deny freedom and life to others.
Well, if I'm looking through art by a certain artist and came across tags for that OC or that art pack, or any other piece featuring Nazi symbolism, I'd say "Fuck it," put them on my shitlist and delete the art. Which is sad, cause some of them had really good art.
But, Ziemniax, jay156, cradeelcin, pshyzomancer, fiarel, among others, decided that being douches who get off to the murder of POC was more important, so their shit is purged from my computer.

The further along I got, the more obsessed I was with getting it done and this past weekend I finally got through the last pics. Everything identified and sorted. There's about 100 pictures I wasn't able to identify but they were definitely worth keeping. Someday I might take another stab at trying to source them.

Happy Beltane/Walpurgisnacht, everyone.
Life's been going good the last few months, relatively speaking.
I got my credit card debt zeroed out, and eliminated the balance transfer fees they'd been charging me.
The last few months I've been able to re-add money to my savings, and splurge a little. Buying some CDs, flavored syrups, new shorts/pants/shirts from LL Bean (via online, I do miss being able to try clothes on before I buy).

I'm still at the same job, but we expanded into a new office, so I don't feel as cramped (I actually have a dedicated server room to store my IT equipment).
I do wish I could have a work schedule compatible with my natural (nocturnal) sleep cycle.

I have been a bit stressed and drained from work. But I need to rip off the "human mask" and enjoy some furry fun, so today I got my run in early and got caught up on submissions/comments on here, dA, Weasyl, etc.

I've got a vacation, the week after next (not for any specific reason, just rest and recharge). I'm hoping the weather will be good for hiking, stargazing, and photography of same.

Back in 2016 I got fired from a shitty job and spent most of that year either unemployed, or doing temp jobs, and racking up a bit of a credit card debt.
I got a full time job in early 2017 but did a poor job reducing that. Going to conventions and meets, and after-meet dinners.
So in 2019 I resolved to zero out my debt and interest charges by cutting back on spending, events and cons.
I did pretty well, and the pandemic helped as there were no cons or meets to attend.

So with this past week's paycheck I was able to get my credit card debt under $1000.
I am close enough that another paycheck, or tax refund* might be enough to knock down the balance. I'd still need a month or two to make sure there's no lingering interest charges, but then I'd feel free to look at large purchases like a new computer, camera or telescope. Or some furry cosplay stuff.

*Here's where it gets stupid. I never got the second $600 Pandemic stimulus check. The IRS website just says "Dunno." I found out I could have added this to my 2020 federal return...after I had already mailed in my return. So now I have to wait until the Amend Your Return is updated for 2020. Sigh.

I haven't posted a journal or any submissions in quite some time.
Due to the obvious lack of cons and meets, I haven't had many opportunities to take photos of a furry nature.
I haven't been able to devote much time to my own, admittedly poor, artwork either.
Things haven't been that bad for me. I'm still working and still living with Ben.
I'd returned to the local gym when the state restrictions lifted a bit, then left when the mask mandates became stricter and I saw the gym was very lax on enforcing it.
So I'm back to running outside while I can and looking for indoor options for cardio.

At work I'd finally been given permissions to move my desk so my monitors aren't visible to anyone who walks by. So I can finally check FA without fear, and got caught up on the last several weeks of submissions in my Watch list.

My finances are doing okay (though I could use a raise). I'm looking to pay off my credit cards entirely before making any new major purchases. Mostly cause I'm paying interest charges on some balance transfers from last year. I want to zero out the cards and any interest that might be on them, and start clean with future purchases. I'm hoping to do this by January. After that I can look into upgrading my computer, camera, telescope, maybe cosplay items (I've got my eye on some cool dragon claw gloves from Red Falcon).

It's the end of November and a couple of weeks till XMas. I won't be visiting family this year, which removes a lot of stress from my life.
Here's hoping things do improve greatly in 2021.

#BLM #ACAB

Just got back from a Staycation, cause Covid closed Anthrocon.
Week sucked, mostly cause of the weather.
Couldn't hike cause it was always too wet.
Couldn't go out with my telescope cause it was overcast EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Including the 4th, when there was a penumbral lunar eclipse.

I ended the week feeling more burned out and depressed than when I started.

Just finished my October vacation. If my job allows, I usually try to take off the last week of the month for my birthday and Samhain/Halloween.
It was a good week, overall. I got to enjoy my natural sleep cycle of 4a to noon.
And with the rejuvenation of my mental energy I finally redid my character descriptions.
I'd been meaning to get it done for a long time, but my job and gym workouts left me kinda drained.
I just posted the descriptions here.

Still want to revise my sigil...

Skipped Anthrocon this year, I gotta pay down some bills.
I'll be honest, it hurt a lot to see all the social media.
It just steeled my resolve to do better going forward.

I was fortunate enough to get Thu and Fri off from work as paid holiday. Spent the extended weekend relaxing, poking at some projects, and doing a nice hike at Agamenticus, along with some attempts at taking photos through a telescope.

A couple of weeks ago I had to get work done on my car, repairing a bumper, fixing brakes that had literally broken, etc.
The repairs weren't cheap and going over my budget I realized I'd done a crap job of paying off my credit cards since I'd gotten my current job. Too many impulse purchases, dining out with friends, etc.

I'm tired of having high interest charges so I resolved to get my debts hella reduced before the end of the year by cutting way back on luxuries.

Which means cancelling my pull list at the comic shop.
Which means no Anthrocon this year. Sucks cause I really wanted to volunteer again.
Which also means cutting back A LOT on furry meets.
While meets themselves aren't expensive, they usually involve visiting a restaurant afterwards. It may not seem like much, but I do have an appetite and those charges do add up. Also bad for my weight loss attempts

Also means no theaters for a while. No movies, no concessions. That shit also adds up.
I haven't seen Avengers: Endgame.
Yes, I could leave my wallet in the car and only bring enough money for a ticket. But, no. Not seeing that film on the big screen is my personal penance for not having kept my spending in check better over the last few years.
Once the film is on BluRay I'm totally downloading it, though.

I will be attending the Maine BBQ, though. I'd already pre-registered and am not going to ask for a refund.

So if it looks like I'm not around as much, it's not that I'm disconnecting from the fandom, I'm just adulting and prioritizing. In 2020 I want tp be spending money on furry stuff, not credit card interest.

My convention experience was a little different this time. I had done volunteering at  PineFurCon and Anthrocon in 2018, but this was my first year as full on Staff. I kept pretty busy the entire time and had a lot of fun doing so. I liked being productive and had a greater feeling of accomplishment than at my day job. I know that sounds more like dog behavior than wolf, but so what. Everyone's dopamine fix is different.

Thursday and Friday I was stationed in Registration, checking people in and printing their badges. I thought we did a great job getting everyone processed and not having to wait in line too long. Credit to Rukario, head of Registration, who had us deployed well and took care of unusual stuff, and Novar, head of IT who made sure we had no problem with the software, hardware or internet connectivity.

Saturday and Sunday I was based in the Game Room/Zoo. I brought some games from home and Ben was kind enough to lend us his big-ass TV. A lot of the time I mostly checked out board games and game controllers to attendees, and helped with Wayon's VR games. I'd occasionally run around doing small errands, which I was fine with. I had a fitbit and new sneakers and planned to hit some step goals that weekend.

I didn't attend any panels, except two I was a part of. As this year's theme was the 1970s, Ben hosted a panel on what it was like growing up in that decade. I co-hosted and we had fun talking about stuff from long ago. I think the people who attended enjoyed it.

The other panel I hosted was a Howl. for those who don't know, a Howl is basically the therian version of a furmeet. Usually there's outdoorsy stuff, or camping. But ain't no rule it can't be held inside a convention. And I'd been working on building up the therian community in the New England area. Now I'd been to therian or "animal spirituality" meet-and-greet panels at prior conventions and never liked them. The entirety of the allotted time is taken up by people standing up, introducing themselves, and giving an exhaustive backstory. It felt like an AA meeting. Now I'm not unsympathetic. I understand that if you've struggled with identity issues and find out there's like-minded folks, you're gonna have a lot you want to get off your chest. I just wanted to do something different, and rather liked the Howl we had last year at Wolf Hollow where we hung out and just chatted about our experiences. That was the vibe I was aiming for.

For some back story, the panel was kinda last minute. The guy in charge of Programming had a late cancellation and I volunteered to take the spot. I put the word out in Telegram and Twitter, not expecting too much. Ulfrvif (aka WolfDaughter) has a regular YouTube series on therian happenings and offered to signal boost. Goddess love her, she's amazing.

So Friday afternoon I leave my post in Registration, go to the panel room and attendees start coming in. Not a huge turnout, but not bad. Mostly people I knew, and a few new faces. Including one young lady from Massachusetts who said she saw Ulfrvif mention the panel on Instagram and told her mother she had to come to the convention so she could finally meet other therians.

I was floored, and a little embarrassed. Someone came all the way to PineFurCon... just for my panel. I was not expecting to have that kind of impact on someone.

While I was intending for the panel to be an open discussion, a lot of it was me explaining some terms and concepts and my own take on therianthropy to this young lady and a mother who was awesome enough to take the time to support her daughter and learn more about what from the outside must seem like some weird beliefs.

Some highlights of my weekend, apart from the Howl:
Working Registration and getting to say hi to a lot of friends, and put faces to names for people I'd only known online.
Playing Cards Against Humanity - Jenga variant, that Erin came up with.
Hanging out with Erin and Don, whom I don't see often enough.
Getting to share the beds with both of last year's Guests of Honor.
Watching an assemblage of furries at the bar toast dogbomb's life and passing.
Sunday night after we shut everything down, Gaming/Programming department went to TexasRoadHouse for noms where we embarrassed our Director, Hawk, by telling the waiters it was his birthday. Why? Cause we love him and he loves our evil sense of humor.

Again, I had a fun time. And everyone was fun to work with. I've no regrets, though there's a few people I'd have like to have met, and seeing myself on video I wish I was 20 pounds thinner. :-D

Can't wait till next year. I'm already thinking of ideas to make things better, and I'm definitely hosting another Howl.