Hope everybody has/had fun today and got to blow up some really nice fireworks! It's been raining here all day so I don't think many here will get to aww. But yes.

In other news, I have pictures in the works, so expect more art from me soon :D Been drawing a lot of Meis and Carter, and now Rurik.

Yeah. I got a lot of help getting Fleur some money, and it took a really long time to get her the things she needed for a home remedy so by the time we got it she was beginning to perk up. Now she's hunting, so that's a huge improvement and the real test is getting her to eat. Once she eats I know she'll be fine.

But I lost one of my cats the other day, absolutely unexpectedly. Out of no where. Precious Nova got sick and started acting odd and we didn't catch on early enough. I noticed how odd he was one night-- next morning he was gone. Nothing could have been done.

It's a huge blow to me cause I've never lost an animal so important before. Don't get me wrong, I love them all, but cats and dogs have more attachment cause you interact with them so much more than a caged critter. I'm still extremely upset and my mood is fluctuating like the damn wind.

I was already having a hard time dealing with Fleur being sick. I haven't drawn anything in like... one or two months now. I'm in a sick dry spell. I sketched something out like yesterday or something but blegh. There's a lot I need to get done still, commissions to be done, but I want to give refunds, I really don't want to do them at this point. I wanna be free of that old fucking list.

So if anyone has commissioned me and I haven't given you yer piece yet, and if you even care/remember and want a refund, let me know. Everything I have to do I basically remember the price I was paid, so... yeah. Now's yer chance to get a refund. It'll be really unpleasant if people come to me later for them and I might not have the money.

There's a lot I want to do that I haven't been able to do, and my guilt and obligation has come to a head and stopped me completely. It was a lesson-- it won't be happening again. And then maybe I'll have the chance to draw myself some things, do some more things for friends. I'm in an awful place all around-- in real life, mentally, emotionally. Getting that list shortened and obligation lifted would do some good for me.

Anyways, sorry for just... dying. There for a while my internet was super slow but that's fixed, animals have been sick and I've lost a family member. Maybe now I can start to get back to the things I used to love and do them regularly and consistently.

thanks for yer time if you bothered to read this~

Update 1 - warning, this is fucking huge. I'm having a very, very hard time with life right now so I vented a bit on that, explained some things, ect.

It also brushes upon the fact that I'm going to try and move in with my aunt sometime in the future. Bro, don't freak out on this okay? This isn't anything sudden like last time, I'm not leaving next month or anything. But I figured my only, ONLY chance to get out of here any time soon would be to move in with her. She lives in Birmingham, AL, so she's in the city. Which means I can try to get a job, she can take me, she can take me to free ged classes and I can finally get that done and maybe she can teach me to drive. But she doesn't have internet, so I'd have to get a job to pay for that-- which is fine by me, so long as I can do it. I don't know if she'd make me pay rent. I don't think she would? But I'm prepared to do so. Either way, I would "pay" rent either by money or doing work for her around the house, which I'd certainly do either way if I live with her but that could be my rent.

I would love to be able to do this for many, many reasons. I'll get into that at some later point possibly, but this journal is about Fleur.

She's gotten worse since my last journal. I mean, obviously. Since she has a respiratory infection and those don't go away. The short version of the HUGE tumblr post is that my dad won't even humor TALKING to me about taking her to the vet and he won't even get four simple things I need for an easy, cheap home remedy that might save her life. I actually don't know if it would e worth trying now-- it might be too bad. So I'm back to begging around for help to raise the money to take her to the vet. As soon as I call some vets to see if I can find one who sees exotics as well as one who could offer me a payment plan, I'll probably be able to get an estimate of the whole cost of it. My likely totally wrong guesstimate is somewhere around $500 but I'm probably completely off and it's way more than that. My current goal overall is $650, but that's subject to change.

If anyone has it in their hearts here, could I get some signal boosts? From anyone who has a good following. I'm begging my fellow reptile lover and owners to help me-- if you read any of the tumblr post you'll know that Fleur is my heart and soul and I would be broken to bits and pieces if I lost her. I can NOT lose her. She's precious to me, so precious, so loved. I feel incredibly lucky to be able to own her, that I even have her at all is just one big miracle and was entirely random, but I'm so, so thankful. She's only four years old. She's got a long life to live. I just... need help getting her well so she can continue on with me. Any extra money I make from commissions and donations is going to upgrade her tank and get her all kinds of neat, nice snake-things. I love her so, so much. She's my Fleur, my flower.

So please help me. I'm still taking commissions. Slots are unlimited. Here's the info again, with some updates.

$10-$13+ examples
http://tmblr.co/ZoP-rweEm7wR
http://tmblr.co/ZoP-rwdrupe3

$13-$15+ examples
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271387/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271281/
http://tmblr.co/ZoP-rwd7K4nH

$20+ examples
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10163452/ - both had separate images before putting them together
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271411/

$25+ examples (anthros basically)
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271340/

$30+ examples (finished images basically)
http://spetsnaza.deviantart.com/

Tips. If you tip me at all I will give you a free upgrade of my choosing on your art.
Example being, lets say you bought a feral picture for $10 and tipped me $5 along with the original payment, I would add shading to yer picture, or a simple background. Obviously the more generous the tip the more generous the upgrade will be. So if you say, for some reason, tip $10 on yer feral picture, you might end up with two pictures, or a very nicely shaded image, something along those lines.

Slots -unlimited

1. Anna- Optime Lily
2. X-tian - Taro and Tryis
3. Lautir - Teo
4. Sam, Benjie av of him laying on Ray’s chest
5. Westy - Kenna av

I ask you please be patient with me if you order. I’m gonna take on as many as I can and will be working on them in a random order. I’m not gonna say I’ll be super fast or give a time estimate cause that’ll just fuck me up more. Just… be patient, please. 3 I’m going through a lot. Just know I will do my ABSOLUTE best.

GOAL: $95.51/$650+?

For those who want to or are kind enough to donate any amount, my paypal is

ruskiiee( AT ) gmail (DOT) com

Please say who it’s from and what it’s for if yer commissioning me. If donating, you can leave yer name and website or a character so I can draw you a thank-you gift when I’m done with my commissions, ASAP! Unless you wish to remain anonymous, which is absolutely fine. Just know I thank you from the bottom of my heart. <3


That should be about it, I think... I've probably forgotten stuff, ugh. I'm worn out, exhausted, stressed. Forgive me if I didn't touch base with something.

Over the past couple days of holding my ball python, Fleur, I've noticed these little popping noises, which I assume was just her tongue flicking out of her mouth since I only hear it when she's on my neck. Then yesterday and today she's sort of been... puffing? And it goes down into her chest with the little poppuff sound.

I'm worried she's getting sick and I need to take her to the vet, but I don't currently have ANY money to do so. I have like $20 total. And I'm very worried about her and she means the world to me. Obviously if she gets sick she's gonna be very hard to nurse back to health. I need to get her seen to before she gets worse, and nick this in the bud.

So I'm offering commissions to pay for taking her to the vet plus any medicine they might give her. I don't know how much it'll be to take her. I know it's gonna be at least a couple hundred bucks just to SEE the vet, let alone the charge of the vet seeing to her plus extra expenses.

I really need yer help guys. If I don't make this money my dad won't be at all motivated to take me to get her to the vet, so if I make the money he can't say no and I can get her before she gets any sicker. I don't know what I'd do if I lost her. She's so precious to me. I adore her, she's my baby. If I can't get commissions, I'm hoping maybe some people can advertise for me and maybe I can get some donations? It's already hard for me to get work... I just don't want that to be the cause of my losing my baby. So let me do some work for you, or advertise or pass a couple bucks my way. It'll make a difference.

And any extra money made will go toward upgrading her tank; getting her a bigger one, a new heat bulb, under tank heater, fake foliage to climb on and a couple hidie holes, bedding, you know, all the things she needs. She's been needing an upgrade too. So any money that I MIGHT happen to make above what is needed for the vet will go straight toward getting her a new house and furniture, but I HIGHLY doubt I'll make enough for the vet visit let alone anything to put toward upgrading her home.

Thanks in advance guys. I really hope you guys can at least pass the word along.. I'll need it. I'll do anything to make sure she's ok.

So here's the nitty gritty:

$10-$13 exmples
http://tmblr.co/ZoP-rweEm7wR
http://tmblr.co/ZoP-rwdrupe3

$13-$15 examples
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271387/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271281/
http://tmblr.co/ZoP-rwd7K4nH

$20+ examples
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271340/ - anthros are a lot of work lD
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10163452/ - both had separate images before putting them together
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271411/

$30+ examples
http://spetsnaza.deviantart.com/

Slots
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

GOAL: ???/???
I don't know how much it'll cost, I don't want to set a goal cause it will likely be far too low.

Thanks for yer time, really.

For those who want to or are kind enough to donate any amount, my paypal is
ruskiiee( AT ) gmail (DOT) com

Offering three commission slots! Just tell me what you want and please give me refs. Give me a very brief personality, and be as specific on the appearance as you want for accessories. I work a lot better off references though, so please have a ref on hand if you want to commission me! I require payment before I start working. I'll draw yer sketch and then send it to you for revisions, fix it, and send it to you again to make sure it's what you want before I go to fix it. If you want to see my progress as I go for the whole thing, let me know!

GOAL: $35

$10-$13 exmples
http://tmblr.co/ZoP-rweEm7wR
http://tmblr.co/ZoP-rwdrupe3

$13-$15 examples
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271387/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271281/
http://tmblr.co/ZoP-rwd7K4nH

$20+ examples
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271340/ - anthros are a lot of work lD
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10163452/ - both had separate images before putting them together
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271411/

Slots
1.
2.
3.

Finished.
- Benjie - x

I have so much stuff backed up ahaha

I am scared of this place c:

ALSO regarding like. all the favorites I'm gonna be making and if yer wondering why I favorited some random older piece it's cause I have 12,983 submissions stacked up from when I was in NM and since coming back so I have some catching up to do. lD

damn I watch a bunch of amazing artists

not streaming anymore. doubt I'll try again.

Catch me here to watch me draw and request $5 feral fullbody commissions! To confirm yer order you can reply here or in the little chat feature on the screen.

My paypal is ruskiiee(at)gmail(dot)com. When you send payment, send it for SERVICES, not gift.

Also I'd prefer to get paid beforehand. These doodles get drawn very quickly so if you order tonight you will have yer finished product tonight. I'm not busy at all, so. Come join me and give me things to draw!

EXAMPLES:
Fox, wolf, wolf, wolf, coydog


You guys should have a green bar with some buttons on it, to use the chat, click the speech bubble!

I legit just keep forgetting to update here... I have art that needs to be uploaded but by the time I remember it's like way too late or early to post it. I post way more on my Tumblr and everywhere else is just neglected as fuck. I APOLOGIZE UGH. Getting back into the swing of art still too.

nothing kills my motivation to do anything like a shitty internet connection and mom drinking, so I've been slow anyways. :/ I'll post later today.

I wanted to pop in and say I'm beginning to draw more so I'll try and upload more often! I was stuck in a horrid rut for so long. I'm still trying to wiggle my way out of it.

Most of my time has been occupied by the forums I frequent. I'm gonna plug them now. c:

The forum I'm currently most active on is Wyldernis, a semi-realistic wolf rp set in its own world. It's got a lot of active members and has a great community and the characters are awesome. I have four characters there-- Yuji, Leon, Bastien and Mayu. The admins are very flexible about a lot of things. I suggest you check it out if yer looking for a good active forum to hop onto! My ooc account there is Crys.

Another is Souls. I'd recently been having issues with muse there but I have created a new character, Maxen Ganesa, who has captured Leon as his slave. In the future I'm gonna have a baby, who you'll see soon when I finish his reference, named Pythius "Bricriu" Absthine Trombetta. It's a post-apocalyptic werewolf rp. I admit-- it's very daunting at first. If yer interested, don't try to take everything in at once. Grasp the basics-- humans are no longer around and a virus had caused the canines to be able to shift into two other forms aside from their feral form. You have yer secui form-- halfling-- which is built like a tank and larger than the feral form and then you have the luperci--werewolf-- form. Or anthro, if you will. It has it's own unique setting. The community is extremely nice and welcoming and awesome. The forum is active. There's a lot for you to do and a lot of room for creativity here too. Start exploring the guide after you join and settle in. If you try to take it all in before you join you'll get confused and likely discouraged from joining. Take it a little at a time! Read more when you want to learn more.

Next is Volke. (Copy paste from Britva's submission) Volke is a fantasy wolf rp set in Chernobyl in an alternate timeline. The Chernobyl disaster created a virus that wiped out the human race, but the wolves lived on and mutated due to the radiation and it also unlocked the ability for them to use magic. Britva is a great example of the mutations a volke(wolf) can experience-- unnatural fur colors and markings and some pretty cool mutations. Did I mention these guys can use MAGIC? And they're MUTANTS? It's a fresh board, so we need members and we would love to have you. Check it out-- it's simple to understand and everything you need to know should be in the Wiki. If you have any questions I'm also here to answer! If yer looking for a fantasy wolf rp, I really suggest Volke. There aren't many out there and what ones from what I've seen are complicated and somewhat strict. As you can already see, Volke gives you a lot of wiggle room, offers a vast amount of inspiration to go on and build yer character with and gives you the freedom to let yer wolf use magic. It's a great chance to start out on a budding forum and grow with us! My ooc account there is Crys and I play Britva.

Next in line will be Shadowlack, a completely unique fantasy rpg. This is also daunting if you try to take in everything at once. It has totally original species-- a bunch to choose from-- and allows you to create just about any character you could possibly imagine. The main species is called Pendragons and their appearances have a vast range-- from canines to felines to dragon-esque critters-- set in its own original world(s!). A multitude of character trades are available in a vast setting so you can put yer character anywhere you damn well please. These guys can also use magic and have extremely sophisticated technology-- or not, if you prefer! There's the cities and natural settings, where you can find technology or escape from it! You have Aquabats which live in the ocean or on land, Feydragons which are beautiful farie-esque creatures and you even have your reptile-based species the Tekula! You can create your own flora and fauna to add to the ever-expanding world of Ramath-lehi and endless amounts of freedom to do pretty much whatever you like with yer character. Be sure to check out the integrated wiki, but take in the basics first! As with Souls, you should learn the basics and create yer first character and settle in. When you get comfortable, explore more. I suggest checking out the Races, setting and rules(obviously) for a start. The owner, Jodie, is currently working very hard to open IC boards back up, but in the mean time you can create your account and begin work on yer character. You can have up to four as default-- you can open up more slots by doing various things on the board, but you have to be active! There are several very nice old members(including myself) who will be there to help you if and when you need help. My username is Enalska there and I have four characters-- Sydney, an aquabat, Gunner, a lukuo, Fleur, a fey dragon and Gabriel, a pendragon.

Last but not least is Wolf Town. This site is also new and preparing to open. It's a semi-realistic wolf rp, much like Wyldernis, and already has a thriving, excited, friendly community to join. There are already packs you will be able to join when it opens up for characters and it has it's own unique setting made by the members. It has a wiki that you should check out for the basics-- it even has a Basics guide to start out with, I suggest you go with that first and explore the others, again, when you get comfortable!-- flora, fauna, setting, packs and character profiles. It is already very active with dedicated members and should be open for play very soon! The community is very nice and willing to help.

These sites are all worth looking into, and I suggest you do if yer looking for a new rp forum for whatever reason or are looking to try something new. I'm active on all of them, and if you have any questions you can direct them to me and I'll do my best to help you out. I would love to see fresh faces at any(and all!) of these places. I look forward to seeing if anyone's interest is piqued and you join. If you sign up for one and they ask who referred you, for Wyldernis, Wolf Town and Volke, put in Crys. Shadowlack is Enalska and Souls is Maxen Ganesa. If you do join, throw me a message! I'd love to meet you and help you start out and give you some active threads to get started with.

Hope to see you guys there! Expect more art from my various characters from all these sites as well as those long overdue commissions, which should be worked on vigorously now that I'm getting out of my rut. c:

fuck there's too much fetish porn in my inbox

no thank you

useless journal hi guys. gonna try to post more soon and shit and whatever. c:

so tempted to just say "hi" in this journal

.... I'm back. Won't get into details, I'm too content right now to. Not really sure where to start or what to upload, but I'm still working on my huge list.

this place has changed a lot since I was last able to get on, wow. HI GUYS.

edit: ... is scared to submit anything
nothing seems good enough baw

I've decided to go ahead and submit some of the pictures I've finished that have been piling up. I'll post some now and some later until I'm all caught up. I'm currently finishing up some of the easier commissions I have(the flat-colored ones), and will be working on the ones I need to shade and stuff after that.

Just letting you all know. Thanks for the patience on waiting, on submissions and commissions. I find it funny I hadn't posted on here since I made it but still have almost 100 pageviews. xD

EDIT: Also gonna be thanking everyone for watches and favorites-- if you watched my old account and are rewatching now, I'm gonna thank you anyways cause you took the time to rewatch my new account! And I'm gonna thank you here, cause every single watch, rewatch and favorite means a lot to me. <3