charlotteshortcake is making an art raffle!
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9847726

I've revised my Cherub OC into a proper "fursona" of sorts; not really furry, but if penguins count then I think this does too! And I've made it using a little side passion of mine, alien biochemistry, which I think reflects me well. The result is a Ran Amayou sona that I think I can really get into and be passionate about.

氨天使 [Antenshi] / Ammutto -
This alien species evolved in an ammonia-rich world, where surface pressures reach over 50 atm, and relatively high in the sky, it can get into the 30s and 40s. Evolved in the dense clouds of this alien world, these small creatures resemble pudgy humanoids with little feathered wings; their rubbery skin is a pinkish pastel orange that resembles the colors of the clouds of their homeworld, the feathers of their wings pastel blue with primary blue stems; this actually comes from the copper nitrate in their blood being incorporated into the structure of the feathers. Their blood is also a bright blue, being made of mostly ammonia and nitrate salts, especially copper nitrate. Their head has short copper-lined hairs are evolutionary leftovers from their surface-dwelling cousins. Their wings, while capable of flight in the dense atmosphere of their homeworld, is not at all suited for flight on earth.

Their ammonia-based biochemistry doesn't actually require oxygen; their blood, ammonia saturated with copper nitrates, is highly conductive, especially at the 50 atm it's pressured at, and can carry electrons readily, which are used directly in their metabolic processes; their skin and circulatory system also acts as a natural voltaic cell, and can hold a significant charge, allowing them to "hold their breath" for extended periods. Their rubber skin and feathers, while insulating, absorbs ambient electrons through induction; their wings especially, laced with copper nitrates and having a high surface area, allows for optimal electron absorption. They can reverse this process and charge their skin to release a defensive electrical shock, though doing so depletes their own charge. By nature of their highly pressured physiology, and their lack of need for oxygen, they are actually fully capable of surviving in the ocean; they'd actually be quite comfortable at depths of 3 to 5 kilometers, even being adapt at "swimming" with their wings, if they are able to find a suitable source of electrons.

Hey... sorry for not posting in so long, I just... haven't really had much happen in my life. It's been nothing but job hunting, day in, day out; that and just... surviving, really. And not having much luck, just the occasional nibble, but no bites. And in my last one, I can tell that employers are starting to get worried about why I've been jobless and inactive for so long, almost 2 years now... hey, it's not like I wanted to be. I've been actively seeking employment all this time. The job market just... really really sucks. Especially for my field in my area. Even more so for millennials. It's like I got everything going against me, and it sucks so much.

Well, I've picked up a hobby to keep up my spirits; Tabletop Games, mainly as a Dungeon Master or DM. I have a Discord server where I host my games now; I mainly run Pathfinder games, though I sometimes mix it up with other stuff. Feel free to join, so long as you behave yourself. I'm trying a new system for my games where I let lots of folks join and make characters for my games, but only 6 people play at a time. Just know that I have rules and I expect them to be followed; I wanna make sure everyone has an enjoyable space to play in.

Discord Invite: https://discord.gg/KBDtDAA

Hi! For those who have been following me lately, you've probably noticed me uploading stuff based on my new concept of an AR Virus known as the DIAPR Virus, which causes the RASH Syndrome, and trying to create a whole world based on that. Furries are of course welcome in such a world, but otherwise it's largely assumed to be a world much like our real one. Kammy with her FoY Water and the medical consequences was somewhat of an influence to this concept as well.

The general themes for the DIAPR Virus mostly regard a medical setting for regression and exploring the concept of children with (at least mostly) adult minds, and how the condition would shape the world around them. If you have something that is probably effecting thousands, maybe even millions of people around the world, stuff like that isn't gonna exist isolated in a vacuum. It also explores the theme of rebirth and second chances in a time and world where a lot of people are struggling. This might be a more optimistic view of the world in response to such a medical crisis, but I've seen plenty of evidence of humanity coming out better against worst. Plus I imagine, just underneath the surface, it isn't all sunshine and rainbows (I'll start dipping into the darker aspects of this world soon; stay tuned) - don't forget, you can also commission me to write your experience in such a world!

This Journal will also serve as a Q&A for those who wanna ask questions about this world; I've noticed a lack of comments, but perhaps this is a better way to tackle comments and questions in general, since it's spread across multiple things now. If you ask questions about stuff I haven't dived into it, rest assured I'll probably come to it eventually. But feel free to ask if it's something you're really interested in, I might just bump it up to the front of my list of priorities to cover if enough people want to know.

I'm in a dire situation, possibly on the verge of becoming homeless soon. I may only have 'til the end of this month to pay rent. I feel like I'm really close to getting a job... and a financial emergency has made living in my current situation highly questionable. Please, all I ask is that you share this and consider paying into it... even a few dollars would help. Every little bit helps.

https://www.youcaring.com/davidloveless-877124

Please help if you can. I don't like asking this of people, but I don't really have any other options.

UPDATE: Sorry to make you all worry. Things are starting to seem like things may work out ok, but the possibility is still quite real. I really hope you can donate to give me a back-up option... money is gonna be super tight for a little while in the best of cases, and the financial security would be wonderful. Even a few $ would mean a ton.

I finished my first week at HP, which is week 1 of training. And boy am I glad it is over. Not because it is hard, because it was stressful. I'm new to this whole job thing, and I was worried I might blow my chances if I wasn't careful... but with week 1 complete, I feel more confident in my abilities.

As for training itself... it's honestly so boring that I am barely able to pay attention. They are going over pretty basic concepts by my standards at a snails pace, for the laymens to be able to grasp. I understand why, but for someone like me, I could pretty much skim though the powerpoint and understand everything (and I tend to do just that, before progressing along it at the teacher's rate). Thankfully we start C programming next week, and hopefully by then, there will be enough substance there that I won't get bored.

In other news, my foot is recovering nicely. It feels kinda weak and a little stiff, but I am more or less walk normally on it now. Just trying to build my strength in it back up now. A week of doing almost nothing has really done a number on that front.

Finally, I'm doing an Ask Me Anything thingy for fun on this journal, in celebration of finishing week 1 of my first job!

Finally, I moved out! Sorry I didn't update before, I just got internet back up and all that jazz.

Good news is, I finally moved out... got my new place, start my new job on monday. Bad news is... my foot gets hurt and now I can't walk on it... hopefully it recovers well enough by monday

Success! I got the job! And boy am I happy to get it! A solid year and a half of trying to get a job in this job climate... it wears you down. But now, I feel like I can finally start getting ready to move out.

Moving out has been a big plan of mine since High School... which was a decade ago. Almost exactly 10 years of effort. College, so much college, and then a miserable time stuck with my mother and grandmother, a viable hell... and now, I can finally do it. Move out, begin my own life, get away from my mother, and buy myself a case of diapers. Yes, I'm an AB who was stuck without diapers IRL for over a decade... honestly, I feel so old just thinking about it... oh how I wish the fountain of youth was real, even if it can only at most restore my youth back to my early adulthood.

Finally, I'll do another Ask Me Anything segment with this Journal. Leave a comment asking me a question, and I'll answer it as honestly as possible.

For those wondering why I haven't posted any journals in a few months... it's honestly because not much has happened in my life. I've been doing the same thing day in and day out... mostly job hunting and trying to survive.

As far as what has happened in my life that is noteworthy... I'm officially couples with Megan, the adorable pup you see in some of my more recent commissions. This happened shortly after Valentine's Day. I also have a job interview tomorrow with HP, and I got some fancy clothes for it. I hate business professional, but it must be done. But seriously, if they even try to force me to go every day in that attire, I'll tell them where they can shove it.

Finally, I figured I might as well include an Ask Me Anything segment! Leave a comment asking me a question, and I'll answer it as honestly as possible.

 lulukitten has a little YCH open, $3 a slot, and there's a couple slots left: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18394155/

I got a slot too, so feel free to get one if you wanna join me X3

 SlapHappyDrew got a new laptop and is back to doing his awesome art; he has a very cute drawing style - he does some very well done physical drawings, and I think he even makes badges! I recommend you check him out!

I feel like I need some silliness and goofiness, so I'm gonna throw up a Journal for questions people wanna ask of me. Just leave a comment with a question you wanna ask, any question at all, and I'll get back to you ASAP.

I dunno if it's because I'm autistic or what, but... I dunno how everyone does it... I hear so many that it is the first step in a rich meaningful life, but for some reason, I have trouble letting go. Deep within my heart, in the dark corners of my mind, thoughts of it again and again weave their way into my train of thought, darkening my days and leading to sleepless nights as it fills my mind with dread.

I speak of Death... more specifically, Acceptance of Death. I think I have Thanatophobia, and I have had it since my early 20s. And I have no idea why.

There are nights when I think about my future, and from there, my mind slips to thoughts of my eventual demise. And from there, my heart quickly grows heavy with sorrow, pain and dread... and from there, I can only sleep by reminding myself for a prolonged period that I have only lived a quarter of my expected lifespan, or by slipping into my little space and filling my mind with infantile bliss. But these is only avoiding the problem. And so I write this in an attempt to face it, but with Skype down, I need help.

I think I fear death because... I enjoy life. I enjoy learning and experiencing new things, and I never want it to end. As hard as times can be, I dread the thought that all the wonderful things in my life will end... *wipes away the tears* that I'll become nothing more then a worthless pile of meat... that I will ease to learn and experience. I think that's partly why the idea of Age Regression appeals to me... the idea that I can become younger to extend my life. It's not just that, I also enjoy the bliss of freedom from responsibility and anxiety that comes with being a baby, but this fear of death certainly explains my revulsion of Age Progression.

How was it that you came to accept your eventual death? Or at least enough so that no such feelings of dread fill your heart when the idea of death crosses your mind? I consider myself a smart and reasonable person who is open to ideas... lemme hear yours.

I just learned today that... my household is flat broke. And frankly, I'm more or less doomed to homelessness unless I get extremely lucky. Frankly, I'm 27 and should have left the house anyway... so I think there's no better time then any to leave.

But sadly... there's a problem. I live in Arkansas. Central Arkansas. And I don't know anyone even near here who can take me in. However, I do have one offer standing... in Canada. So, in order to do that, I need bus fare. Badly.

GoFundMe: gofundme.com/zpwhxc

I've set up a GoFundMe to help raise money. And please do, if you can. Any tiny amount will do. If you wanna get your money's worth, you can also support me through Commissions!

Hey all. Well, as I thought, it's been almost 6 months since having to live with my grandmother, and now things are in a real bind. My dad lost his job, and worse, isn't getting unemployment, and now we're gonna be real poor for a while. This sucks royally to say the least.

And then there's the weather... I hate hot weather. I'm built for cooler climates. I naturally produce a lot of body heat for some reason, so it doesn't need to get very hot for me to feel like I'm melting in my own skin. Plus, it's a lot easier to stay warm in cold weather then to stay cold in warm weather.

I badly need commissions now more then ever... possibly just even to feed myself in the near future. If you can't afford to commission me yourself, can you at least give me a signal boost? I'd be most thankful if you did.

My colored pencils have arrived at last! and much earlier then I expected too! Now I can begin to do proper commissions aside from lineart!

Feel free to leave a comment if you want a commission or if you have any questions about my commissions!

Good news everyone! I've managed to scrap together enough funding to buy a set of colored pencils for like $10 on Amazon, and they are currently being shipped. This means I'll finally be able to do colored commissions at last! Next, I got a couple announcements!

Firstly, I've changed up how I do my Commissions... from now on, all Commissions will be $5 for any lineart or pencil-only shading/coloring. It won't just be limited to the first 10... because at the rate I was going... I'd never make it past 10. Still, I dunno if I can afford to do less then $5 for anything beyond a simple doodle.

Secondly, since I can do colored artwork soon, I've come up with a pricing for colored artwork. It'll start at $10 for a single character with a basic or no background, and then go +5 for additional characters, and +$5-10 for complex backgrounds. If you wanna order some colored commissions, just note me and I'll make them as soon as the colored pencils arrive!

Just an update to let people know that I'm still doing Commissions! I haven't gotten a single one yet, and I'm still doing my special deal, $5 for the first 10 commissions eva~... or you can negotiate a price, if you somehow feel it's unfair. Is even $5 too much? I know I'm not great, but... I try.

$5 Commission Deal!
SLOT #01: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16385332/ [COMPLETED!]
SLOT #02: [OPEN]
SLOT #03: [OPEN]
SLOT #04: [OPEN]
SLOT #05: [OPEN]
SLOT #06: [OPEN]
SLOT #07: [OPEN]
SLOT #08: [OPEN]
SLOT #09: [OPEN]
SLOT #10: [OPEN]

Since I feel I am past the initial mourning phrase, I feel I should post an update journal on the matter of Ralphie, my favorite kitty cat pet.

Amongst the afternoon of his departure, of which I posted the Journal denoting his departure the morning of, minutes after waking and discovering this fact, I had buried Ralphie in the backyard near his favorite tree stump that he loved to play on and around. Figured it was the most suitable place for him.

For those who think I have recovered quickly from this, by my standards, I haven't. This hit me the hardest in many years.

I have experienced many family deaths in my time, both pet and people alike. Whenever I've worn formal attire, at least 2/3rds of the time, it was for a funeral. I can literally think of a dozen funerals off the top of my head that I've experienced. For this reason, I've sorta grown a bit numb to the concept of death... even my father admits that I've experienced more death then a typical person my age.

Despite this, the reason I've learned to handle it better is mostly because, I learn to see it coming, and mentally prepare myself for their passing... get comfortable with their death before it actually happens. That and being able to explain why they die.

This one... this one hit me really hard for a number of reasons.
#1) I normally see him daily, so his absence feels weird every single day; most family deaths happen for those family members I see once in a blue moon.
#2) I had no way to see it coming. Literally the day before, he was as happy and energetic as he always was. Plus, he was a kitten, not even a year old yet... it was only just time to get him fixed. I'm used to our cats living to be in their teens.
#3) I have no way to explain why he died... the best I can come up with was a birth defect or something, but I have no way to know for sure. It wasn't like he was hit by a car or something... at least then I can explain it in my bed and go "well, it happens".
#4) Him and me were tight. He very clearly bonded with me. He used to cuddle against my neck as a kitten, and liked to be wrapped up in my shirt, even as he grow up and got bigger and bigger. He was so adorable.... honestly, I think that's what I'll miss most of all.

So... yeah, I know I'll always miss him dearly... but at least I can move on with my life now.

Update: Today I learned a fact about Ralphie's Death. Based on sharing of stories, we figure that it was either a Raccoon or some sort of Shock. Either way, he didn't suffer any.

I awoke this morning to horrible news; "Ralphie's Dead."

https://dl-web.dropbox.com/get/Came.....dCkZe9uXgalujQ

Ralphie, a black kitten who was barely 6 months old at this point. The weird part? We dunno how. He was just laying in the backyard, petals around him, looking like he was asleep. I didn't even believe he was dead until I poked him.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4.....lnT2luN0E/view

The saddest part... was that, I feel responsible for his death. I had left the back door open, mostly to cool off the hot AC-less house, and now my head is filled with thoughts of "what if I didn't do leave the door open?" and "I killed him... it's my fault... I don't deserve to live."

I'm sorry Ralphie... I hope you find a better owner in the next life. Rest in Peace.

I has finally given up and gotten a Tumblr :P

http://ryuumaruainaki.tumblr.com/

The Good: I found my old Artbook from Drawing class, which both gives me new inspiration to draw and solid white paper to draw on... so improved commissions! My grandmother is also in the works to move out!

The Bad: I still am having no luck, not even a nibble, on finding a job.

The Commissions: I'm still doing them, still doing first 10 any non-doodle commissions for $5, and still waiting for people to want my commissions!

Well, I've lived with my Grandmother for almost a week now... and honestly, I'm surprised at how... bearable it seems. It seems like my grandmother has gotten her act together, and isn't nearly as bad as my mom. I mean, yeah, gotta deal with the usual elderly stuff, but aside from that, she tends to keep to herself. Now, it's still a big change of lifestyle, which I am rather not enjoying, but it isn't as bad as I was dreading.

That being said, I still wanna leave. I've been wanting to leave since I finished High School. I wanted to find a job after high school, get a life together, and after a year of settling into a new life, THEN go to college. But nope, my parents insisted I stay at home and go to college. And while I am grateful that I had to avoid the double-stress doze of dealing with both a job and college, while not having to worry about 3 hots and a cot... with how bad the job economy got shortly after I left high school in 2006, part of me wonders about... that alternate timeline, as I like to think about it.

So, if anyone can provide assistance on me getting out of the house, please let me know, via note or comment. Now more then ever, I can't be an AB IRL 'til I get my own place. I'm an AB who's spent a decade outta diapers... surely you can understand.

So... my mother is on her way from Florida to bring my grandmother to live with me and my father... and I'm considering now might be a good time to leave the nest. I'm not totally sure if I'll do it, but it's certainly an option at this point. For those who don't understand why I'm even considering leaving my lifetime home because of this, you'll have to understand why a good chunk about me and my real life family.

My mother... well, I barely consider her my mother. She is the women from which I was born, and the wife of my father. She has done nothing to earn the title of "mother", and even my father agrees with me. She acts more like a mean big sister, like I'm the little brother she never really wanted. She's never cooked a meal for me, never helped me when I'm sick, and the average stranger tends to be nicer to me then she is. All she has done is emotionally abused me, acting like an emotional vampire... and sometimes even physically abused me, though that pales in comparison to the psychological torture.

There were literally points where I screamed out in my sleep for her to "leave me alone"... and points where I snapped and threatened her with a knife if she didn't keep pestering me on certain issues. I know how extreme that sounds, but that's how much she drives me wild. It's hard to explain exactly how she tortures me... other then she keeps pushing my (and my father's) buttons, even if she doesn't mean to.

But as bad as my mother acts, she used to be worse... and my grandmother was twice as bad as my mother is now, and even drives my mother nuts in the same sorta way that my mother drives me nuts. And that was before my mother became senile in her recent years. I don't even know how bad she is... but even if she's still only as bad as she was, that'd be enough reason for me to leave ASAP. To be honest, even with just my mother, I've been trying to do everything I can to leave and get my own home.

So, here I am, debating whether or not I actually should run away from home... I don't have a car (can't afford one), a job, and not enough money to stay at a motel, at least not for more then a few days. I could probably get by, but I'd basically be homeless if I left as is...

Which is why I am asking the FA community if there are any individuals in or near the central Arkansas area who is willing to take me in, at least until I can set up a more permanent home elsewhere. While I guess you could call me an AB or Babyfur, I won't do that sorta stuff (unless you want me to) IRL. Plus I can cook a bit, clean, and I'm great with computers. Just treat me well and I'll do the same :)

Or, if you don't live nearby but still wanna help, I'll happily take donations of funds towards finding a new place to call home.

EDIT/UPDATE: Well, my grandmother is actually here... and while she is clearly at least partly senile, she doesn't seem to be any worse... still, I wanna leave home anyway, preferably my own place or with a fellow AB, but I'll happily take whatever I can get.

Well, technically I've been doing them for a little while now, but I figured, I could do announce officially it to all my watchers. I am doing Commissions now! Yeah, all I got is plain pencil ones for $5, but I really hope that, in time, I can buy some colored pencils to do colored ones, and maybe even a tablet so I can do digital stuff!

As a little perk for helping me get this started, I wanna announce that, instead of the current going rate, I'll do ANY (Well, almost any ^^;) lineart for $5 for the first 10 commissions! Any takers?